The Stupid Leading the Insane
by izzum
Summary: Two OC's go off into the Wasteland of the FO3 Universe, following in footsteps already laid out for them.  A semi-sequal but not really to the 'Dez' series.
1. Chapter 1

I'm laying in bed, staring at the metallic and wooden ceiling of my bedroom. An old pre-war model of a plane sways back and forth above my head. I've had it since as far back as I can remember, really. Well, actually, since I moved here. My dad built it for me, out of pieces of wood and steel that were too small to use for anything else. I watch it sway for a bit, in the air that seeps in through the small cracks in the walls. Since I was little, I've watched the plane drift in the light breeze my room gives. It's calming in a way, since it would always be the last thing I saw before falling asleep.

Putting my arms behind my head, I give a deep sigh and stretch a bit. It's a hot, lazy day here, just like any other day. Most of the time I don't mind it too much. Since there's nothing to worry about here, and no cause or reason to leave, my life has been one big cycle of being lazy and hanging out with my dad. He breaks up the cycle of boredom, and takes me out to teach me things. We're pretty close, me and my dad. I like it that way, though. I owe a lot to him, and because he's influenced me in good ways and spent time teaching me how to fight and survive, I really have no worries if anything bad happens. Not that I want anything bad to happen, I'm just saying, is all.

"Watcha doing?"

I look over to my right to see my sister standing in my doorway. She takes a bite of an apple as she leans against the steel doorframe, and chews obnoxiously loud. I roll my eyes at her, and stare back at the ceiling.

"I _was_ relaxing."

"Yeah that's all you ever do. Get up and do something."

Rubbing my eyes, I know she's just bored. She likes to nag at me when she's bored. She won't do it in front of our parents though, because then she's too busy with mom doing random shit. Even though we're siblings, sort of, we're not very close. I'd protect her if anything happened, I know that, but that's it. We don't stay up late and talk, or share deep emotional secrets. We're basically strangers in all but name.

"I did yesterday. I got food."

I tell her, feeling a bit annoyed. Grabbing my pack of cigarettes off of my bedside table I sit up. My bare mattress squeaks under my weight, and I light a cigarette.

"That's not doing anything. That's just doing what mom and dad told you to do."

"You didn't complain last night when you ate, now did you?"

"I couldn't. My mouth was full of food. Hey where'd mom and dad go anyways? They never tell me anything."

She's right on that one. My sister doesn't know jack shit about anything out here. I do, though. Since I was little, my dad and mom always told me that my sister was not to know anything about them, me, or their past. That they didn't want her exposed to the elements as they were, and in time things would become better for her, and she'd understand. So, for her safety, we kept it from her. My dad feared she would inherit my mother's gene of wanderlust, and hoped to soften that by not telling her of their past at all. Then if she did have the gene, my sister wouldn't know any better or feel any urges to leave Megaton.

"Yes they did, they told you. They went to Rivet City to get away from you."

"Liar! They told me they were going to Rivet City to have a few days away."

"Exactly. To get away from you."

She sticks her tongue out at me and rolls her eyes. My mom is in her fifties now, but, she doesn't look or act it. Because she's immune to radiation like my dad is, the aging process for her is slow. With the body of a twenty-year-old, the mind of a thirty-year-old, and the wisdom of a fifty-year-old, my mother is certainly a rare character to find. Dad doesn't complain much, though, because when they go off to Rivet City to see Dr. Barrows or whatever, she can keep up with him. Sometimes, he even says, she surpasses him. Dizzy, my sister, has that same gene. The one that makes her immune to radiation. She's going to live a long and youthful life like my mom and dad are. I'm the only one that's going to die at a normal age. I'm not sure really, how I feel about that.

"You're such a dick, you know that."

"What Raider did you scam that outfit from? You know dad'll have a fit if he finds out you're hanging out with them again."

Tossing her apple core into my trash bin, Dizzy folds her arms over her chest and sticks her nose high in the air. We share the same eyes, mouth, and ears. That's it, really. She has my grandmother's dark brown hair, and my mother's button nose and thin body. Her oval face reminds me of my mom, but the serious looks she can give makes me think of my dad. Since she's immune to radiation, and a ghoul in all but form, Dizzy is stronger than most females. Also, having my dad's genes of strength helps, too. She keeps her dark hair short, though. It's black against the sun but if you look close, you'll see it's brown just like most people around here. She says she likes it short, because then she can see everything better. Don't know what she wants to see, though.

Lately she's been hanging out with a rogue band of Raiders just on the outskirts of town. Being seventeen and pretty impressionable, my stupid sister thinks they're the shit and I'm worried about that. We don't need a pretty-boy Raider walking in and convincing her to join their cause. I hope she's not that stupid, though.

"Dad won't know shit if you don't open your mouth. And mind you I got this as a gift from Erin. She said it was her mom's and that it would look good on me. It's Paingiver Armor."

"Whatever, Diz. Dad'll find out. He always does."

She turns her back and waves her hand at me, dismissing my warning.

"I'll deal with that when it comes then."

Really, I don't know where Dizzy came from. Both my mom and dad are level-headed beings. What makes Dizzy so goddamned insatiable and bratty I have no idea. Well, my mom can be pretty childish at times, so maybe there's an x-factor gene somewhere in there that makes Dizzy go berserk. But just because she acts this way doesn't mean it's alright. Getting off my bed, I follow her down the steps and into the kitchen.

"Dizzy you have to stop being so irresponsible. You're seventeen, grow up already."

I go to take a Nuka-Cola from the fridge, but when I do she swipes it from my hand. Sitting down at the table, Dizzy looks at me. One of those looks that makes me worry she knows more than she lets on, and sets the tone for the conversation. I won't lie, Dizzy is an amazing being. She can get you in one look, or scare you away. When she walks into a room, the entire room feels whatever she's feeling in an instant. Some people don't like it, but, I don't mind it much. Knowing it makes me feel a bit closer to my sister than I really am.

Even though we have the same ice-blue almond-shaped eyes, I still get chills when she stares at me like that. Questions usually come from a look like that. Lately I've been worried that she knows something about me. That…she'd know since I look exactly like dad, that I'm not fully from mom. But, Dizzy doesn't know what dad looked like, before he became a ghoul. All she knows is that I 'inherited' his size, strength, and height. Still, I can feel sometimes, she knows I hold no semblance to mom, like she does.

"What?"

I say to her, uncomfortable with the tense silence and her eyes boring holes into me. She sighs and plays with the half-empty soda bottle in front of her, staring at it like it holds all the answers to all the questions of the world.

"…Nothing."

Without saying anything else, she gets up and storms out of the house. Curious and a bit annoyed, I follow her and stick my head out the front door.

"Where're you going?"

"I don't know. Away from you."

Fine. Slamming the front door I figure this is just another one of her temper tantrums. She has them a lot these days, and usually with no reason or cause for them. Mom and dad noticed it too, but mom says she's just growing up. Dad thinks otherwise, which is why before they left he told me to keep a careful eye on her. Mom and dad usually don't go away for this long, but after twenty-two years of raising two kids, they needed a break. Since Dizzy and I are both able to be on our own, they felt safe in taking a vacation. I'm not lying, either. Dad really said they were going to Rivet City to be alone for a bit, and he has no reason to lie to me.

I still hate having to watch my sister, though. She's seventeen and shouldn't be as reckless as she is, but, she's a girl and you can't stop it. I don't know why dad and mom don't just accept she's seventeen and can be responsible, but I guess they have their reasons. Just wonder how long I can stick around for it. Lately I've been having thoughts of getting out of this town. You know, just walking around and seeing what my parents saw. I know it's different. Back then, the Capital Wasteland wasn't turning all green like it is now. Sure there's a lot of it that's still desolate, nasty and all hard dirt, but for the most part it's being rejuvenated. I'd like to see it though. See Rivet City and the D.C. Ruins. Go back to where mom and dad rescued me from and sift through the remains for no other reason than curiosity. I'd like to find some of the kids I was in there with, too. Hopefully, they're still alive.

Walking into the living room, I pick up my gun. My mother says a gun is supposed to represent the person, but I don't know what she means by that. I use an automatic Chinese assault rifle, and it gets whatever job I need it for done. It suits me, I suppose. My dad uses a drum-shotgun, and my mom a sawed-off. My sister, she has a scoped .44 Magnum. The scope is enhanced enough so she doesn't have to put it to her face to see through, and it's got the power of a shotgun with the mobility of a handgun. Honestly I don't ever think she uses it. She always forgets it at home, and that really pisses off our parents.

Putting my gun on my back, I'm going to do something drastic. My parents won't be back for another couple of days, and I'm determined to find out where my sister is off to. She probably hasn't gotten far, and worse to worse she's with those Raiders again on the outskirts of town. We always tell her it's not safe, but she only hears what she wants to hear. It'll get her killed, I swear. To be honest, though, I get really upset when I think of my sister in danger. It's probably the family ties that make me get so angry, but, I don't think it's healthy. Even though we're not close, I can see myself risking my neck for her stupid ass. I think, that's what my parents wanted, though.


	2. Chapter 2

Running my fingers through my thick, reddish hair, I walk out the front door. It's early in the day and the sun is hot and bright. Turning to walk down the hill, people pass me and wave. I really have nothing to say to them, and they're used to my demeanor. A lot of people think I joined the Regulators, because I wear the Regulator Duster for my armor. Really, my mom brought it home for me one day and I figured it suited me. I've never been outside the town without my father, and even then we didn't go far. There's no need for me to leave. I have all I need here, and even though I want to advance my knowledge of the land, I can't leave Dizzy. Another reason, why I secretly hate her.

My parents don't notice the things I do about Dizzy, and frankly if I didn't notice them, she'd already be either half-dead or a full on Raider. If I didn't have to watch her so goddamned much, than maybe I'd have room to grow on my own. Maybe I'd feel alright about wanting to take off from this small town, and maybe I wouldn't feel like her protector and caregiver most of the time. Until she can manage on her own, I'm stuck here. I knew that all along, so I have no idea why I haven't warmed up to it.

I spot her first at the opposite side of the crater, talking to a wandering trader. She laughs at whatever he says and leans forward to talk to him. Mom, dad, and myself warned her to be wry of traders, no matter what. But does she listen? No. She probably doesn't even realize I'm following her. She never does, which is how I figured out where she was going with the Raider boys. It pisses me off. Why do I have to be so goddamned responsible and all-knowing and she can simply parade around without a care in the world? It isn't fair, and really, I sort of despise my parents for putting this on me. They can protect her just fine. I don't know what they were thinking, when they appointed me her guardian.

"Dizzy, what are you doing?"

I say as I come up behind her. She turns around, without being shocked at my arrival in the least.

"What's it look like I'm doing bone-head? Talking to a trader. What's it to you?"

"Dizzy, come home."

"It's boring at home with you being all lazy and stupid. It's better out here."

"How so?"

"There's people to talk to."

By now she's facing me, her hands on her hips. The trader takes this moment as his chance to avoid conflict and quietly leave the area. Good choice for him because if I got too mad I might have snapped and brought him into it.

"Dizzy just go home. I don't want to fight with you today."

"What are you? Dad or something? You can't tell me what to do."

"Look while they're gone I'm in charge and I say _go home_."

"Fuck you."

She takes off like a frenzied Yao Gui.

"Dizzy!"

Calling after her does nothing. She just flips me the finger behind her back, and takes off to the outskirts of Megaton. Any other day I would chase her, and drag her kicking and screaming back home. Today, isn't one of those days. Frankly I can't give a shit anymore about her antics. If she wants to go off and be a Raider, than why not just let her at this point? Mom was what, nineteen when she got out here? Sure she was older than Dizzy but she was doing what she wanted. Maybe that's what my mom is trying to stop, though. She told me she was lonely back then, because she had no one. Dizzy is different. Mom and dad love her and I'm always around so there's no real need for her to feel so lonely and angry all the time. Either way, for the first time since we were kids, I'm not going to chase her. It's her life, not mine. I plan on doing something worthwhile with my life, instead of getting doped up and fucked around with by a bunch of worthless Raiders.

"Whatever."

I say to no one and start the uphill walk back home. It isn't anything different. Today is no different than yesterday, or the day before. Dizzy stays home for a bit in the mornings, than takes off until the late hours of the night. She doesn't do this when mom and dad are home, because dad would tear up the town looking for her. Instead she only does it with me, because she knows I won't go telling our parents for fear of them bringing the wrath of god down on my head for letting her take off like that. You know, when she was first born I was really excited. I mean, I was thinking I'd have this best friend with me, and I could teach them everything. It didn't work out that way, though.

Instead, as we got older we just split apart. She stopped following me around and asking me to play with her. She would always call after me, and chase me outside. Usually she'd trip and fall, and it was me who had to take her back home and clean her cut up. My mom and dad thought this was cute, even though mom would always tell her to 'suck it up'. They liked that I cared about her that much, and she wanted to go everywhere with me. Then, I don't know what happened. I hit puberty, and then I got my first girlfriend. After that, Dizzy just fell into the shadows. I tried to include her, I did, but she never wanted to go. She'd play outside the front door sometimes, waiting for me to come back. When I did she would just look at me, open the door, and we'd walk inside. There wasn't anything said, but soon, she stopped doing that, too.

Maybe it's my fault that Dizzy and I aren't as close as we once were. Maybe I did let the natural process of hormones and girls and mischief get in the way of our relationship, but why should I feel bad for that? I tried, she was the one who closed herself off and did her own thing. And when she got older, she did the same thing. Suddenly boys and staying up and out all night became the latest craze, and when I'd show up to a friend's party or whatever to get her she'd just yell at me and tell me she hated me. I shouldn't give myself this much shit, for something I couldn't control. Dizzy and I are adults now, and should be responsible for our own actions. I tried, and I'm sorry it didn't work. I can't continue to look after my seventeen-year-old sister, when I'm already tuning twenty-two soon.

On the way back to my house, I run into my uncle Gob. He's outside his shop, working on a project of some sorts. He keeps an eye on me and Dizzy, even though we're adults. Anything I don't report to my parents, he does. I use to get angry at him for it, but now I see he did it for our safety.

"Hey."

I say, sighing and lighting a cigarette. Gob looks up and me, and gives me a smile. Zack left Megaton two weeks ago, to do whatever it was he wanted to do. My dad trained him, like he trained me, so no one is really worried about him. He'll come back before the end of the month like he promised. Really, Gob is just lonely.

"What's up?"

Gob stands up beside me and I lean against the wall of his shop.

"Nothing. Heading back home. Boring day."

"Yeah that's all anyone says around here. Frankly I like it better boring. Means no danger and nothing to worry about."

"I guess."

"You weren't around back in the day. There was a ton of shit going down. Maybe that's why us old-folk like the silence better. Got sick of the noise."

"You're not that old, Gob."

"Yes I am. It's alright though, I don't feel it. When your parents coming back?"

"Couple days. They're probably on their way now."

"Yeah, I don't doubt that. Where's your sister?"

I exhale smoke as I sigh, and shake my head.

"I don't know. I don't care. Somewhere. Probably with the Raiders."

"Cain, that isn't good and you know it. You should go get her."

"Why is it my responsibility? She's seventeen, she should take care of herself."

Gob folds his arms in front of his chest, and sits on an old chair he has outside of the shop.

"You're her brother, Cain. She's seventeen, which is more of a reason for you to watch her. Girls can get in big trouble at this age."

"I'm only her brother by a quarter, and not even that."

"You both share DNA that's from the same person, doesn't matter how thin, you're related. And regardless of that, you should still care about her."

"Maybe if she wasn't a bitch I would."

Gob laughs at that, and leans against the back of the chair.

"Yeah, I hear ya. She's a lot like your mother, you know. If it wasn't for Charon…I'm a bit scared to think of what would happen."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your mother was always taking off and doing stupid shit, you know that. But at least with Charon around she wasn't that stupid. She thought about things, and had something to work and live for. I know you and Dizzy ain't close like you were but, still, she needs you."

"She says she hates me."

"Probably does for the moment. Girls at her age hate everyone. But it doesn't change the fact that she still needs you. She just won't tell you."

What Gob says bothers me. Already I have responsibilities and guilt I shouldn't, his words add insult to injury. I know he's only helping, but sometimes I wish he wouldn't. I'm sick, of feeling this way for someone else, when I can't even feel anything about or for myself.

"Yeah, well…it doesn't matter. I'm going home."

"What about your sister?"

"That doesn't matter either."

I know Gob is probably going to tell my parents that I let Dizzy run off. I don't care, though. For once I want to worry about myself, and not someone else. When I was seventeen, I didn't act that way. I have friends, but I never once told off my sister. Or said I hated her. In fact, I've endured five years of verbal abuse from her, without saying a goddamned word. It happened when she was twelve, when she first told me to 'piss off'. Well I'm tired of it. As soon as mom and dad get home, I'm going to sit down with them and have a talk. I want them to know it's time for me to do what Zack did, and leave Megaton. Sure Zack hung around a bit longer than he should have, but he didn't want to leave his dad alone. My parents have each other and Dizzy to count on. I need some me time, ya know? But first, I should prepare myself. Mom and dad won't let me blindly wander off into the Wasteland, and even though I'm twenty-two, I still respect and heed their word. Plus, I still live with them. It makes me mad to think, that at this age mom was doing so much more than what I've done. That she was…well, running wild in New Vegas.

Getting home, I go into my parent's room and grab my mom's old Pip-Boy from their file cabinet. She took it off to help hide her origins from Dizzy, and because she didn't need it anymore. Knowing the Capital Wasteland like the back of her hand, and needing only radiation to stay healthy, the Pip-Boy lost its purpose. She taught me how to take it off and on, in case I ever wanted to use it. So it's not like I'm going behind her back or anything like that.

Walking back to the kitchen, I take off my duster jacket. Grabbing a thin sheet of paper and a pencil, I slip it onto my left arm, and watch it come to life. At first, I don't know what to expect. I've never toyed with it, or seen mom toy with it. Whizzing, whirring, it comes to life and automatically lights up dark and light green. I stare at it, mesmerized at all the power this small, tiny contraption holds. Mom said it should work for me, even though we don't share any DNA. Surprisingly, she's right. But, being a geek of technology I think mom tinkered with it, just so I'd be able to use it if I needed to.

I can't be stuck staring at this thing forever, I know that. Even though it's just past noon, Dizzy could walk through the door and demand an explanation about this. And that's something I really don't feel like giving, to be honest. So instead of letting myself enjoy something, I rush through it, because of my sister. It annoys me, how this affects every aspect of my life, and how I can't do anything about it. At least, not until mom and dad get home. Placing the sheet of paper over a map of the Capital Wasteland, I trace it best I can. If I'm going to leave here, I need mom and dad to know that I'm capable and prepared for it. They warned me time and time again, food is scarce, and danger is rich. That if I were to ever go, to be prepared. This of course is an example of 'do as I say, not as I do' because shortly thereafter they took off with nothing but their guns and the clothes on their backs.

Finishing the tracing, I fold the paper and slip it into my pocket. Then, I begin the process of getting the Pip-Boy off of my arm. It's simple, really, easier than getting it on I think. It dies out, without anything to live on, and the bright screen turns blank in my hand. I wish there was a way for me to tinker with it. You know, probe and explore it. But, even in my room I'm not safe from my sister. She's not stupid, either. She knows these things come from vaults, and knows there's no reason for us to have one since neither of us leave, and mom and dad 'know' the Wasteland.

Slipping it back into the filing cabinet, I make my way back downstairs. Heading into the living room, I take the gun from my back and start to relax. All I ever do is relax, and too much of it makes you tired. Figure I should start to rest up now, though. Pulling out the traced map I made, I hold it above my head while I stare at it. Rivet City is at the lower right hand side, past the D.C. Ruins. Instead of drawing squares like the map has to symbolize locations, I drew X's. Abbreviations serve as their official title, and as long as I can read it, who cares? I'll have to pick where I want to start off going to, and I decide on Rivet City.

It makes the most sense, really. I could begin from here, move to Rivet City through the D.C. Ruins, and then work my way counter-clockwise around the map, hitting every place I possibly can in the meantime. I know mom and dad won't like the idea at first, but eventually they'll understand it. My mother, more than my father. She'll understand how I want to get out, but it isn't wanderlust. It's the need for my own space. To get away from my sister, and have no one to worry about except myself. I've never had that before. Even when I was really young, and in the facility. I had other boys to worry about, and think about as I laid awake at night. Think about if they were okay, if anyone had ever really gotten out. I always had another thing on my mind, and now, I only want one thing: myself.

Call me selfish, stupid, or whatever it may be. Truth is I don't care. I inherit my calm demeanor from my father, and even though I don't show it, inside I'm boiling up. I'm angry, pissed off, and annoyed with things around here. With constantly having to worry about a sister who doesn't care about me, or want to listen to me. With all the things I don't really feel I should have to worry about. I can understand my parents wanting to get away for a bit, and take time for themselves, but…Dizzy is seventeen. She's old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Why she chooses to constantly ignore the warning signs and advice people offer I have no clue. At this point, whatever happens is her fault. She brought it upon herself.

In the middle of my thoughts, a knock erupts on the door. Looking at it from the living room, I hesitate until it comes again. Sliding the paper in my pocket, I get up and walk over to the door. Opening it, I see Erica on the other side, smiling at me.

"Hey, stranger."

She kisses me, and I let her in. Erica and I spent the better half of our childhood playing together on the playground in Megaton. Now, with age, maturity, and adulthood looming over us, we've become a bit more, than just friends.

"What brings you here?"

I ask as she starts to walk into the living room. Closing the front door, I follow her, and take a seat beside her on the old pre-war couch.

"I saw you get into a fight with Dizzy today. Thought I'd stop by and see if you were alright."

"So you were spying on me?"

She shakes her head, smiling at me. I like her smile, her light eyes and her light hair. I like her almost enough to tell her the truth about me, my family, and our pasts. But, not yet. I don't know if I can trust her. If she'll leave me, or stand by my side.

"No, more like curious entertainment. But seriously Cain, you alright?"

Resting my elbows on my knees, I lean forward. Giving her a warm smile, I mask the thoughts and anger that reside just below my surface.

"It's always been like this. I'm use to it."

"You two use to be close though, right?"

"I guess, a long time ago. We were kids back then. She's a teenager now, almost an adult. People change."

She puts her hand over mine, and squeezes my fingers.

"Then why haven't you said anything to her about us?"

Dizzy has no idea Erica and I are involved.

"Because you're her only friend here, Erica. How would she feel if I told her that I was dating you? She'd feel like you betrayed her."

Even in my most intimate relationships, Dizzy plays a major role. I wish it wasn't this way. That I didn't have to hide dating Erica, because I feared how my sister might feel. I wish there was a way for me to just live, without the restraints that have been put on me. I know, there really isn't a way, if I stay in Megaton. Getting up I start to pace aimlessly. All my life, it was 'Keep Dizzy safe' or 'Watch your sister' or even 'Make sure she gets home on time' as if _I_ was her parent. As if I have nothing better to do than to watch her. And all the while, I'm getting 'I hate you' and 'Fuck off' from her in the meantime. Never a 'thank you for saving my ass' or anything like that. I never told mom and dad about the time I had to come bail her out of trouble, because she couldn't keep her mouth shut with a rouge trader. I should have, but I didn't. And what did I get from Dizzy in return 'Always coming to my rescue like some hot-shot, get a life'.

"Cain? Cain, what's wrong?"

I stare at Erica, stopping my pacing and taking a deep breath in.

"Why is it always my job to watch her? Why do I always have to be her goddamned babysitter?"

"Because you're her brother, Cain."

"_No I'm not!_"

Shocked at my outburst, and my words, Erica stares at me. She looks at me like I've just dropped a bomb on her, and in retrospect I did.

"What?"

Erica's in disbelief. My words weren't spiteful, she knows that. They were true. People get mad and disown each other all the time, and get over it in mere seconds. Erica knows, this isn't the case. Sighing, I lean against the opening from the living room to the kitchen. I guess, I dug my own grave on this one.

"Dizzy…isn't my sister. I mean, she is but…not in the way you think."

"Cain? What are you talking about? Are you adopted?"

"Yes. I mean, no…I…I came from my father, but not my mother."

She cocks an eyebrow at me, and I sigh. This is getting nowhere fast.

"A kid from another relationship?"

Erica tries to fill in the blanks, but never in a million years, will she guess correctly.

"No, not that, either."

"Than what?"

"Erica…my father…my father was part of a secret…well, like…how do I explain this?"

"From the beginning?"

"No. It's not my business to tell about my parents' past. Only mine."

"Alright, then, what's yours? You were born in Megaton, raised in Megaton."

Erica came here only a few months after I did. She didn't know, that I arrived here holding my mother's hand, beside my father, new to the outside world.

"No. I was born from the blood samples and DNA of my father. In a lab, in a test-tube. My mother found me, when I was five. She broke me out, and brought me here. Raised me, as their son. It was only by chance they found me, I could have very well died there. I'm not my mother's son, and I'm not my father's son. I'm just a copy of him. An exact copy."

"But Charon is a ghoul."

"He wasn't always a ghoul. And if he wasn't, this is what he would look like. Even now, this is what Charon would be seen as, if he took on with Dr. Barrows reverse-ghoulification process."

Erica stares at me, scared, lost, wide-eyed and a bit curious. She stands up, absorbing all I've told her, and not really wanting to believe it. I don't care if she does or not, I never invested important emotions in her. How can I, when I knew this would be the reaction I'd get when I told her the truth? A person, cannot love someone, when they know they can't handle the truth about themselves.

"…You mean…Charon and you…"

"Are like twins, Erica. My father…my father and I are exactly alike. If he does something, and say they somehow traced a strand of hair, it would match mine perfectly. I'm not half his, or half my mother. I'm one-hundred percent, him."

I stare at her, and she stares back. Her light blue eyes are nothing, compared to the ice-blue ones Dizzy and I share together. Inside of me, something hurts at this. Something hurts, at the sight of Erica's face, at the look she gives me. I guess, that even though you tried not to invest anything important into someone, you still do. And in the end, you still get hurt.

"You think I'm a freak, don't you."

I turn away from Erica, because I can't bear to look her in the eye anymore. Quietly, I hear her stand up. Her footsteps echo loudly in the empty house, and they grow closer and closer to the door. Finally, I hear it open, and quietly close behind her. The one person, I had come to trust, someone I had known from my childhood…sees me as an abomination. She looks at me in disgust, in insult. As if I _asked_ to be created. If I somehow manifested myself into a plasmatic form and _begged_ them to probe me, build me, create me for their own selfish desires.

My father kept nothing from me. He told me, why he suspected I was made. I've seen him in fights with Raiders, and other outsiders. Seen him protect my mother, and an unborn Dizzy from an attack on Megaton. It's no wonder to me, why I was created. I was meant to be everything he was, except…better. I was made, so that I could at least accurately follow in his footsteps. In my creation, they expected no differences between us. Maybe, had they succeeded, they would have been right. But they didn't. They didn't keep me, and now…I'm nothing like my father. I look like him, and have his traits, but inside…inside I'm my own human. They created me without any regard for that. Or any regard, as to the toll it may take on me.

How can I ever, get close to anyone, if this is how I expect them to react? To leave me here, alone, in a place where my job is to look after a sibling who…who isn't even my sibling. Erica was the closest thing to me. Outside of my family, I had no one to talk to. I have friends, but, men act different around women, than they do other men. Erica was comforting, kind, my first experience in relations, but, not the only. Still, she meant something to me. I wonder, if I meant anything to her, if it was this easy for her to leave me like this? If, she ever really cared at all?


	3. Chapter 3

I'm slumping against the wall, my left side in the front door's line of sight. I stay that way, until nightfall. I only know it's late, because I hear Dizzy coming inside. I haven't turned any lights on, or prepared any dinner. Today, I was able to feel sorry for myself, for the first time. Because I don't care anymore, how it looks to anyone else. I'm a freak, an abomination, a clone forced to walk in the shadow of my donor…for one night…let me worry about only myself.

I stare blankly ahead of me, expecting Dizzy to turn on a light and start berating me. Start asking why I'm being a bitch, sitting on the floor. But, it never happens. I hear her though, pacing around the kitchen. The sound of a lighter flicking tells me it's her. Her cigarettes, although the same as any other's, have a distinct aroma to them. I can't explain it.

"I remember…I remember when I was little…"

She talks like she doesn't know I'm here. Maybe, she doesn't. I don't care.

"I was little, and I would chase after my big brother. I would chase him, and I would cry 'Play with me, big brother, play with me' over and over again…he always did, too. He always played with me back then. Always, kept me close, and taught me how to shoot his BB Gun…"

I listen, picking my head up slowly. I've never heard her use this tone of voice before, and to my ears, it's music.

"…I was so scared, back then. Of everything, really. People were so much bigger than me, and even though I had my daddy…I always felt safest when I was with my brother. Always felt like no one in the world could hurt me, as long as he held my hand…"

I hear her sniff, as she exhales a deep sigh. Almost like, she's longing for the days when I had to explain to her why it was inappropriate for her to go topless, but not for me.

"I would say 'Big brother…big brother…I'm going to be brave like you one day' and he'd look down and say 'You sure will be'…and for the longest time…for the longest time, I thought I would be. I thought…I would be big and brave and strong like him. But…I just ended up a little girl, didn't I?"

I don't know, if she's asking me or simply talking to herself. I choose not to answer, and let my head hang low at the memories she makes me recall.

"…I always wanted to be strong and brave…like my brother. I always, wanted to walk away from people so easily, and bite my tongue. But…I didn't inherit those genes. I'm still, that little girl chasing her big brother, just wanting him to play with me, like he use to."

Her footsteps get closer, and soon turn towards the steps. She goes all the way up, and then…silence. I hear nothing more, and in the dark I stare at the couch across from me. Dizzy, never speaks like that, to anyone. Our rooms are next to one another, and even at night, I never hear her talking through the walls. She's always quiet, if not annoying. I don't ever remember her, being so serious and sincere, as she was just now.

Maybe, she talks that way…because like me something isn't right with her. Something inside, gnaws at her, and begs for release. I can't imagine, what it could be, but my uncle Gob's words ring in my head. That Dizzy still needs me, just like she did before. So…as I always do, I push my own emotions aside, and slowly stand up.

In the dark, I navigate myself up the steps, and knock on her bedroom door. There's no response, and I call her name.

"Dizzy?"

No answer. Slowly, I open the door and peer inside. The moon lights up her room just enough for me to see, that she isn't in there. There's only one other place, she could have gone. Looking up, I see the shining silver knob that leads to the sniping perch above the house. Reaching up I open it, and climb up. Dad and I came up here a lot. He showed me how to snipe an enemy, and it was bonding that I looked forward to. Even though, it always got cut short. Dizzy would always come up, and beg us for attention. Our father would laugh with her, and throw her in the air. I'd laugh, too, and we'd take turns basking in the love and affection our father offered us. Back then, things were easier. Adult issues and emotions didn't plague us, and Dizzy and I were freer than we ever have been. I miss those times, I'll admit. But, now, there's freedom in age.

"Dizzy?"

I call her name quietly, as I walk through the wooden tunnel. She stands at the edge of the peak, leaning over the steel rails and gazing out over the Capital Wasteland. Her back is to me, and I can only see a side of her face.

"Dizzy, are you alright?"

It dawns at me, that…maybe…tonight my sister needed me, and I wasn't there to protect her. I wasn't there, to be her big brother.

"…I always wanted to go to that monument."

She says quietly, her voice restrained and tame as opposed to its usual loud and obnoxious tone.

"What monument?"

I ask getting closer. I stand at the beginning of the peak, watching her. Slowly, she raises her hand and points to the Washington Monument, far off in the distance, and looking over the Capital Wasteland. Mom says, it was there before her time, before dad's time, and it'll still be there when we're gone. She said if we ever got lost, to go to the monument, and her and dad would find us.

"The Washington Monument. I want to go there, and climb to the very tip top."

"And then what?"

She shrugs, resting her hand under her chin.

"Look out over everything. Everything that's mine, and mine alone. I'd look out and feel like the biggest person in the world, because up there, I would me."

"Dizzy…"

Standing up straight, she throws a burnt-out cigarette from her hand. Turning her head slightly, she looks at me, and smiles sadly.

"Erica told me, you know."

"Told you what?"

"About you two. She said she dumped you, because you…scared her."

I wait to hear, if Dizzy knows why I scared her.

"I was on my way home when I saw her, and she told me."

"What did you say to her?"

"That she wasn't woman enough to handle you anyways."

Hearing my sister defend me, against her only friend, makes the pain of Erica leaving dissipate. Dizzy has never defended me in her life. Only…only this time she did. With her attitude, it isn't easy for her to make and keep friends. They come for a short while, but leave eventually. Erica stayed, and Dizzy left her only friend, for my defense.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

I blurt out, as if her feelings in my own personal life matter. I guess, they do, though. A cold wind catches us off guard, and I hear Dizzy shudder as she turns her back to me again. For a minute, she looks back, and stares at me. Although we share the same eyes, mine could never show the expressions that hers show.

"It doesn't matter to me. We live different lives now, and have our own secrets."

"What do you mean?"

Sighing, she digs in her pocket for her cigarettes. I watch as her hips move, and how her spine accents her smooth back. Looking away, I tell myself that I'm just looking at a part of my mother. Hearing her light her cigarette, I look back at her, to see her holding two, and one is for me.

"Can I trust you, Cain?"

"Of course you can."

I say as I take the lit cigarette from her. Dizzy turns away from me again, unable to look me in the eye.

"…I can't stay here anymore. I don't know…what it is inside of me…but…after all the years I've spent here, there's this…this undeniable sense of longing. Of, seeing what's out there, and overturning every rock and boulder. I won't be able to fulfill this need, by staying inside Megaton my entire life. And I can't…talk to mom and dad about it."

"What are you saying?"

"That you're my big brother. And I love you. And I'm sorry, for being a bitch all these years."

"Dizzy…?"

"…Yeah?"

I take a step closer, a bit scared that she might jump. I wouldn't put it past her. Absentmindedly, I look up at the moon and feel something strange. As if, I've been in this place before. This situation.

"I have to get out, too."

I blurt out, in the hopes her feet will come out from beneath the rail. Hoping, she'll turn around, and we can go back to careless children like we once were. I can't house all this doubt and insecurity anymore. I also, don't want to live alone.

"But you can't go, where I want to go."

"Why not? Dizzy, what are you not telling me?"

She turns around, and I see her in the light of the moon. Across her once perfect face, her one symmetrical beauty that made men look past her insatiable attitude, is a long and angry cut. Red and raw, it doesn't bleed, and I notice that she put slight radiation on it.

"I fought you for so long, and I regret it, Cain. I was only trying to save my own skin."

"Dizzy, what happened to your face?"

Tears well in her eyes, as she averts my gaze. I reach out to touch her face, and she lets me. She lets me rest my hand on her jaw-line, and even places the weight of her tired head in my hand. We haven't touched one another, in so long. In nine years, since I was thirteen.

"It doesn't matter. It was my own fault it happened, I'll be alright."

"What will you tell mom and dad?"

She closes her eyes, and I realize…that Dizzy has more secrets than I do. That in her own right, Dizzy has lived her life separate from us, and with that…hasn't told us the truth of her endeavors with the Raiders.

"It seems like forever, since we got this close."

"Please, tell me what happened. I can help you. Just tell me."

Amazingly, she smirks and opens her eyes. Tears wet my hand, and by reflex I pull away.

"Don't…don't cry, Dizzy. I won't tell mom and dad, if you just tell me."

Whoever did this to her…whoever…hurt her, they have no idea. They have no idea that the ties that bind me to her are thicker than blood. That our shared relation, means if they hurt her, they hurt me, too. I never realized, how much I cared for her, until I saw her cry for the first time since we were children.

"Out there, they can't see who we are, Cain."

"Who are we?"

"Products of our parents. And that's something, no one can touch, right?"

"Dizzy?"

"Even if they…if they take everything from you, they can't take away who we are. They can't…take away what makes us stick close. Because…because it runs a lot deeper than skin, doesn't it?"

"Who hurt you? Who? Tell me!"

On top of our house, Dizzy stares at me with fresh tears in her eyes. She wants to tell me, I can see the urgency on her face in the light of the moon. I'm a fool, for thinking I could leave when in reality, she needs me more than ever.

"Erica hurt you, and…and she hurt me, too."

"What did you do?"

"I can't stay here."

"Dizzy! What did you do to Erica?"

Her eyes meet mine, and I shake inside. She narrows her eyebrows, and crinkles her nose.

"Nothing. But I don't want to be a part of your life and be so distant from you."

"You don't have to be if you just _talked_ to me, Dizzy."

"It's too late, isn't it? Didn't it all…all stop when we grew up?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

We stare at one another, and she examines my face closely with her sharp eyes. Instead of answering me, she steps forwards and embraces me. She hugs me, like when we were kids. Pushing her head against my chest, Dizzy sighs and clings to me. I don't know what to do, except return the gesture. Memories consume me, and I feel like it's a wound I'm reopening.

"Goodnight, big brother."

It's all she says, before pushing past me and heading back in the house. I watch her go, not chasing her, because I know she needs her time. But I can't help but feel like Dizzy is in a lot more trouble than she can handle. A lot more, than she wants to tell me. I don't know what to make of this conversation. Looking down at my hands, and the cigarette between my fingers, I try to catch my breath, as I come to terms with my emotions. I hurt much more now, than I ever did when Erica left. Someone…someone hurt my sister. And it bothers me more than I think it should. Someone hurt the girl I share a part of myself with. My confidant, my best friend, someone…got too close. They mustn't know, that Dizzy has a brother who has serious boundary and protection issues.

Gathering my thoughts, I finish my cigarette before heading back inside. Going through the wooden passage, I realize Dizzy left the door open for me. Through it, I see the lights are on in the house. If she was going to bed, why turn them on? Going through the passage, I close the hatch and look around. Only the upstairs is lit, not the downstairs. Odd, but not really anything to worry about.

"Dizzy? I want to talk to you."

I say as I open her bedroom door. She's standing in shorts and a tank top, like my mother wears to bed. A wet cloth is in her hand, and she's using shards of a mirror that once stood on her wall to see herself in. She looks at me in the glass shard, and smirks.

"I got a boo boo."

I smirk back and walk inside, shutting the door behind me. It seems, that in one night, Dizzy and I may be able to repair the relationship we lost. Even though the conversation a few minutes ago looms in my head, I can look past it for now.

"Here, let me."

Willingly, she hands me the radiation-soaked cloth. I don't hint to her, that radiation bothers me, and instead just take it as it comes. It's just a little dose anyways, it won't do any real damage. Gently, I place the cloth over the cut on her face. Luckily, because of radiation, she won't need stitched like she would have. Instead, it starts to turn a pink color as I go over it gently, pressing down a bit to get the moisture on it.

"Does it hurt?"

"No. It feels warm. Don't you know?"

Forgot myself for a moment there. Letting out a small laugh, I nod my head.

"Yeah, sorry. So, want to tell me how this happened."

"No, not really. But how was your day? Aside from Erica leaving you, that is."

"Since when did you start caring all of a sudden?"

I say it in a humorous tone, but Dizzy takes it differently. She looks away, a bit hurt over something, and sighs.

"When are mom and dad coming home?"

"If not tomorrow than the day after. They're probably already halfway here."

"Alright."

When her cut is virtually invisible, I hand her the cloth back. She doesn't bother to get up off the floor, and instead of crouching I sit across from her. Scratching her head, Dizzy nervously looks out her bedroom window.

"Look, Diz, I know we aren't close but…you can still talk to me."

Slowly, her eyes shift from the window to me. When our eyes meet, I have to restrain from hugging her. I have to hold back, from embracing my sister, and keeping all the dangers of the world from harming her. I want to tell her, there's nothing safe or pure in this world. Something, though, tells me she knows this already. Thinking this, makes me want to seek out and torture, whoever made her believe this world was less than beautiful. I know, that it isn't safe, that it isn't pure, but putting that aside…I wish she knew, of how our parents fought desperately to keep and secure this world for future generations. For us. Suddenly, I feel so sorry for letting her go for so long. She's the only one, really, whose cared about me aside from our parents. I never saw that. I just let her go, for so long, and didn't think it bothered her in the least.

"…No, I can't. Things now, are different."

She tells me, whimsically, quietly.

"Dizzy, you can. I'm still here for you. I'm still your brother."

"Maybe that's why I can't talk to you, then."

"Just let me in your head. Remember when we were little, and you'd crawl into my bed at night because of nightmares? Even though you were scared, you always made it to my room."

"What's that have to do with anything?"

"Because even though you're scared now, you can still talk to me."

"I'm not scared. I'm not anything, other than…sick of this place."

"Then tell me who hurt your face."

Curling up into a small ball, Dizzy puts her head between her knees. When she had long hair, she would hide behind it and not let me see her tears. Now, with her hair short, she has nothing to hide behind. Reaching towards her, I touch her arm. Her skin is hot to the touch, and I'm assuming it's from the radiation I put on her face. At first, she tries to pull away from me, but using both my hands I trap her so she can't move. I'll fight her every step of the way, if it means in the end, I can have my loving sister back. What I wouldn't give, to have her chase me again, and beg me to play with her. What I wouldn't say or do, to just have her look at me and smile while her hands dance around my jacket. She used to love to hide in my clothes.

"Stop it, Dizzy. Stop it."

I tell her, as she tries to fight me. Finally, she gives up and lets herself collapse against me. Heaving, she presses her face into my chest, and clings to the fabric of my shirt. Patting her back, I smooth her hair and hold her tight against me.

"It's alright. Whatever is wrong, whatever happened, I'll fix it. I'll fix it, Dizzy."

She says nothing, in between her choked-out sobs. I can't bear to hear her in so much pain, but instead of hurting, my own pain turns into anger. I know and understand the bitch she's capable of being but…it doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to cry this much, and feel this kind of pain.

"I'm sorry, Dizzy. I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry. Please…let me in. Let me help. I regret it, please."

On the cold steel floor of our home, I hold my sister as she cries tears of pain, hurt, and feels emotions that should have never come to her. She should never, have to feel this way. I blame myself, for letting her run off. Maybe if I chased her, maybe if I intervened, I could have done something about it. Could have kept her home, and this could have been avoided.

"…It…it's not your fault."

She stammers, looking up at me. Her eyes are red, wet, and still blue through the tears. Lifting my hand, I cup her face in my palms, and press my forehead against hers.

"I'll never let anyone make you feel this way, Dizzy. I'm here, and I'm so, so sorry."

Her hands wrap around my wrists, and slowly, she pulls my hands from her face. I lift my head, staring at her, forcing myself to keep the gaze.

"I'll never…never make…you feel guilty again."

She tells me, as if she's the one to blame. Maybe, in a way, she is. But it doesn't matter to me. She didn't deserve this. I don't care how vicious her crimes against the person was, she didn't deserve it.

"Tell me, Dizzy."

Swallowing hard, I think for a minute, she's going to talk to me. That finally, I'll know who hurt her. But she thinks about it first, and realizes I won't simply comfort her. She knows if she tells me, I'll chase them down. I'll do all I can, to make them pay.

"…Just tell me you'll still be my big brother."

"I always have been, Dizzy."

Looking away from me, I reach down and wrap her hands in mine. Her jaw clenches, and she closes her eyes.

"Erica…told me you aren't who you say you are. She…didn't go into details but…she said you were an abomination. Cain, what does she mean?"

Dizzy looks at me, as my fears of opening up to people are placed neatly in front of me. Mom and dad, never prepared me for what to say or do in this situation. They assumed she would never find out, that I wouldn't tell anyone. Slowly, she looks back at me, wanting answers and assurance.

"She was mad, Dizzy. People say things they don't mean when they're mad."

Accepting this answer, she rests her head against my chest while I'm alleviated and free from a close situation. Pressing my back against the wall, I wrap my arms around my sister-by-word. Her chest goes up and down against me, as we sit in silence. I stare out the window, wondering what the future has in store for us. If tomorrow will be a day to start anew, or instead we'll forget tonight and act as if it never happened. I hope we can start new. I don't want to lose her again, and I don't want to risk never being able to save her, and be there if she needs me.

"Dizzy?"

"Yeah?"

Her response is soft, and I realize, she's falling asleep.

"Tomorrow…will you still want to fix things between us?"

"…Yeah…I…miss you."

I smile down at her, even though she can't see me. Her eyes are closed, and her face is pressed securely against my chest.

"I missed you too."

I tell her, kissing her head and smoothing her short hair. She sighs, and I wrap her in my arms. Gently, I force my back against the wall, and in one easy motion lift her off the ground. As I walk her to her bed, she wakes a bit.

"I don't wanna be alone."

Dizzy says, sleepily. I look down at her in my arms, and realize…how small she still is. Fitting in my arms bridal-style perfectly, Dizzy is petite and light. I know, how much larger I am to most people out here, and somehow, Dizzy perfectly matches my size. Only a foot shorter than me, I realize how easy I can protect her. How, simple it is, to keep her safe, so long as she's close.

"Alright."

I say and turn my back on her bed. I can't give her money, I can't offer her the moon and the stars, or the sky. I'm not the reason she takes off, or gets into trouble, but I can at least be the one to watch her at night. The one to let her rest easy, and comfort her when she needs me. Be there, when I'm wanted, and even when I'm not. With me, she can be as free as she wants. Because then, even though she won't be alone, there won't be anything dangerous around the corner to hurt her. As long as she sticks by me, I'll do all my parents wanted me to, do all she needs me to, and then some. I can forget my own wants and desires, for her sake. So long as she tells me, she still cares, and she wants me beside her. Life, for me at least, will be easier to stay where I know I'm wanted.

Entering my room, I place Dizzy down on my bed, and cover her with a single blanket. I wonder, if she ever feels like she's ever alone? Or that she ever wants to be unknown? I can say, I've felt that way. Sitting on my bed, I kick off my boots, as Dizzy breathes in deep sighs of sleep. Looking back at her, I hope whatever secrets she has, she's prepared to admit and face. Because tomorrow, I won't let her leave without me.

Laying down beside her, I pull the blanket from her, and together we share it. I rest my head on my own pillow, and close my eyes.

"…Cain?"

I keep my eyes closed, as Dizzy reaches and takes my hand in hers. I feel her roll over, and her hot breath against my neck.

"Hm?"

"You'll still love me…no matter what happens, or what I do, right?"

"Yeah, of course. I have to."

While she holds one hand, I take the other, and wrap it around her. Pulling her close, I rest my chin on the top of her head.

"…I didn't mean…for this to happen."

Half-asleep, Dizzy is insistent on talking with me. I think she's scared, that if tomorrow comes, tonight will be forgotten. I'll feel the same as I do today, tomorrow. I've felt this way, since I held her for the first time.

"I know. It's alright, Diz. Just sleep."

"Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I won't go anywhere without you."

"…I want to…to spend the day with you."

"Okay, we can do that."

She wraps her free arm around my torso. Beneath this blanket, so close, we look like a single being. I wonder, if our parents would be pleased with our rejuvenated closeness. If they'd be proud that even still, I'm here for her. Even when I was ready to leave, I'm still here for my sister. No matter how much I think I hate her, I'll always love her.

As I drift off to sleep, with Dizzy in my arms, it starts to rain. The pit-patter of it against the steel, lulls everyone to sleep at night. A warm rain, a night rain. Dizzy presses her head closer to my neck, and I feel her breath and lips graze my collarbone. She sighs, and squeezes my hand before finally falling asleep. In return, I kiss the top of her head, and let myself forget the problems of today, and save them for tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

Sun rays across my face makes me open my eyes the next day. For a minute, I'm not sure where I am, as last night starts to revitalize in my head. Dazed, I lift my arm as I lie on my back, and rub the sleep away. Remembering things clearly after a few short moments, I try not to panic. Slowly, I look to my left, and see Dizzy peacefully sleeping next to me. In her sleep, she kept close to me. Clinging to my left arm and curling her body against mine. The scar on her face is almost invisible, and will probably go unnoticed by our parents. It's a beautiful day out, perfect, for starting again.

"Diz…Dizzy…"

I whisper, close to her ear like I did when we were little. Moaning, she rolls over and in typical Dizzy fashion, tells me exactly what to do with myself.

"Go fuck off I'm sleeping."

She doesn't mean it, she's always been cranky and difficult to wake. I smile at how even after all these years, she's the same kid she's always been.

"Come on, Diz, breakfast."

"No breakfast. Sleep."

Pulling the blanket over her head, she makes it known to me that this day will not start without some form of fight. Accepting the challenge I get up, and rip the blanket away from her. It does no good, as she continues snoring softly.

"Up, Dizzy. Start the day good."

"I am. By _sleeping_."

She waves a tired hand at me, trying to dismiss me. Trying something more drastic, I do what I would when I was smaller. Pressing my face close to hers, I stick my tongue out, and spit a giant raspberry in her face. This is greeted with a slap in the face, as she rolls over and tackles me like she's a guy. Both of us fly off the bed, and land on the floor in a pile. I laugh, whilst Dizzy feels the regular morning rage.

"I'm gonna kick your ass! I was sleeping!"

She does, too. Even though I go easy on her, she doesn't go easy on me. Strong like both me and my father, but small like my mother, Dizzy has the best of both worlds as she punches, and slips out of my grip. Jumping on top of me, she sits on my upper body, pinning my arms beside me. I haven't heard her laugh this much, in such a long time. Lifting her off of my by sheer willpower, I now have the upper hand. Her laughter makes her strength dissipate, but I take it light. I'd to almost anything to keep her laughing, to keep her happy.

In the middle of our morning wrestling fiasco, a loud pounding on the door takes our attention. I catch the look on Dizzy's face, as the noise echoes throughout the house. For a split second, she seems fearful of something.

"Diz?"

She looks at me, and puts a smile on, hiding the fear.

"I'll get it, I guess. You coming?"

I say, standing up and offering her my hand. She takes it, and walks behind me. Leading the way down the steps, I holler to the front door.

"Who is it?"

Even at twenty-two, I still ask whose behind my own front door. Dad always taught me to be cautious. After all, you can never be too sure around here.

"Seth. I'm a trader. Got a letter for ya."

The guy says from behind the door. Looking back at Dizzy, she shrugs and we both wonder who in the world would be sending us a letter. Reluctantly, I open the door. Just like she did when we were kids, Dizzy steps up on her tip-toes to peer over my shoulder, her hands gripping my forearm.

"Here, from your folks."

Instantly worry overcomes me. Taking the letter from his rough, outstretched hand I nod my head and shut the door. Curious, Dizzy looks at it as I hold it in front of me.

"Bad news?"

I shake my head at her. If mom and dad were in danger, or any other bad news, the last thing they'd do is send a letter. If Dizzy knew half of what I know, she'd understand that. But, she doesn't, so without waiting I open the letter and look at mom's swirly handwriting.

_Diz, Cain,_

_ Your father and I have decided since this is our first break from you two in seventeen years, to stay another two weeks. We're still in Rivet City, and we'll leave here in exactly fourteen days so any shit you two want to hide, start hiding it then. Oh. Charon says to 'stop dicking around and get your asses to town and help people if they need it'. I say don't bother because you're both young. Anyways, love and miss you lots!_

_ Dezbe…wait…mom. Still not use to that._

_ And the sex is good._

Alright, typical mom. Dizzy laughs as she reads the letter over in my hand, and I smirk, too.

"Two more weeks?"

She asks, like the letter is a lie or something. Putting it on the table, I walk over to the fridge and grab myself a bottle of pure water. Taking out an irradiated one, I toss it to Dizzy.

"That's what mom says. So, I'm stuck with you for two more weeks."

"I'm not _that_ bad, Cain. You just have to get to know me."

We sit down at the table, across from one another. She kicks my shin in play, and I kick her back. It's almost like we're kids again, and I'm curious what brought on the sudden change in her. And, really, what made her cry like she did last night.

"What brought on this sudden change, anyways? Before it seemed like you couldn't stand me and now…well, it's different."

Dizzy lights a cigarette, and I copy her. She thinks it over for a bit, looking at every little thing in the kitchen before coming up with a suitable answer. The silence is thick, but it isn't tense. Dizzy really does care about what she says next, and it's a change in the normal pacing of things. It feels like it's been a lifetime, since the two of us got along this well.

"…Sometimes things happen. They can be good, but mostly they're bad. These things take place, so that we can learn from our mistakes, and make them better."

"I take it this 'something' has to do with last night?"

Dizzy bites on her thumbnail. Since she was little, she's either biting her nails or lips. It a nervous trait, my mom has them too.

"Look…last night…I just, realized since Erica left you, you might have needed someone."

"Uh-huh…"

"And I've been a cruel bitch and figured it was time to…let my brother be my brother again."

I lean back in the chair. This time, it's less emotional, but more direct.

"You still bullshit though, Dizzy."

Her eyes narrow, and suddenly she's overcome with her old self. Standing up quietly, she runs upstairs. I hear her banging around for a bit, and soon she's running back down the steps. Her gun on her hip, I instantly know something is up. She hardly carries that thing around.

"Dizzy?"

I say, standing up just as her hand grabs the doorknob.

"We have two weeks, before mom and dad come home, right?"

"Yeah…why?"

Turning to look at me, I catch her eye. There's something that she's not telling me. Something she wants to tell me, but she can't.

"I'll be back, before they get home. I promise, okay?"

Before I can stop her she runs out of the house. I still haven't got my shoes on, and I know very well chasing her barefoot won't be a good idea. There's this feeling I have that Dizzy isn't going to stay in Megaton. That she's taking off for somewhere a lot further away, and much more dangerous.

Without wasting time, I run upstairs. Grabbing my boots I slip them on, and don't lace them all the way up. My gun and my jacket are both back downstairs. Even though it's hot out, protection from the sun is more important than anything. We don't travel the Wasteland, so we're not tanned like mom is. I'd rather be warmer, than have sun stroke. Running down the stairs, I grab my jacket and my gun. I put them both on as I lock the front door, and take off towards the distant running figure that is Dizzy.

She's way out there already, a slim shadow just below the horizon line. Luckily, I have dad's training and exact genes on my side, so it isn't hard to sprint after her. But, she's like my mom, small and light. It's like whenever I get close enough to call her name, the wind picks her up and pulls her just out of my earshot. Where she going? More importantly, what the hell is she running away from? Or…who? Dizzy…never hinted at the fact that she'd want to run away. In reality she isn't, either. Runaways don't come back, and Dizzy said after two weeks she'd return. It doesn't matter to me, though, because two weeks or not she's still alone out here. I can't let her be alone in a place she's never traveled, with dangers she's never encountered before.

Looking back as I run, I notice Megaton growing further and further away. With its shrinking distance, my courage grows, and my fear for Dizzy's safety heightens. Pushing myself, I feel the wind knocking against my face, not wanting me to follow her. But I fight it, just like I fight the burning in my legs, and the dryness in my mouth. I have to get to Dizzy, no matter what the cost. My lungs feel like they're about to burst, and I know I can't keep up much longer, let alone muster the strength to call her name anymore. She must know I'm following her. Even though she hasn't looked back, she can't not know I chased after her. And since when did she have this kind of physical endurance? Probably when she wasn't carrying this much weight. I'm bigger and stronger, and by fault that means I'm heavier. Dizzy, is light enough to jump into the wind and have it just fly her away. Which is what I'm thinking she's hoping for.

Using my last bit of strength and energy as I get closer to Dizzy, I reach out to grab her. The front of my boot hits a rock, and as I'm about to fall and crack my face on the hard-dirt surface, my fingers latch to Dizzy's pants. We fall together, rolling on the dirt. I my clothes protect me from minor scrapes, but Dizzy isn't as lucky. Hitting the ground after running so fast, she scrapes along the dirt in front of me, groaning as she goes. When I finally steady myself, I open my eyes to see the sky above. To my right, Dizzy moans in pain. It takes a second for my mind to react, and I sit up a bit disoriented.

"…What-the-hell-was-that-for?"

I say, out of breath and for good reason. Looking over at Dizzy, she's squirming on the ground in pain. I see she's only scraped up, because her armor is so revealing. Laying on her stomach, Dizzy rests her head on her forearm, hissing and sighing in pain. Her back heaves up and down with the deep breaths she's taking. I still can't believe she pulled this stunt, and I look back towards Megaton. For a puny girl, she ran far, and ran fast. Her head start helped, and I can just sort-of see the buildings of steel that make up Megaton. Mom said it use to be a dome, and I sort of remember that. But it's not a dome anymore, so it feels further away than it is. Looking back at Dizzy, I frown as her legs move back and forth in the dirt. The grass hasn't reached this far out yet, and even in the places it has, it's still just soft soil.

"Ow…"

She groans, not picking up her head. I stare at her until she does, and I'm met with angry, icy eyes.

"Why the hell did you follow me?"

The anger she emits, is a bit scary. I can feel it radiating off of her. She acts like I somehow betrayed her.

"Because you took off outside of town!"

Do I actually have to remind her?

"So? It doesn't mean you have to follow me! Why didn't you stay home? Go _home_!"

"No! Why didn't you stay home? No, wait, _you_ go home! You have no idea how to survive out here."

"And you do?"

"I know better than you."

"Oh, right because dad took you out and taught you how, right? I was overlooked in that privilege."

I stand up, and the pain from falling down starts to disintegrate. My legs are sore, but nothing broken or cut. Like I said, I'll be getting a few bruises.

"Little sister, get up, and go home."

"No."

She gets up, but it's only to challenge me. A wind hits us, it's not hard, but it makes Dizzy close her eyes from the dust.

"You don't have food, or medical supplies. You have no idea what you're doing."

"I only need radiation and I can go a few days fine without food."

"Have you ever done it before?"

"No."

"Then you don't know that you can. Dizzy, seriously, go home."

She folds her arms in front of her, and giving me one last look she turns around and starts walking towards the city. I know this because you can see the ruins from almost anywhere in the Capital Wasteland, and because there's nothing but the ruins in front of her. Sighing, I have no choice but to follow her, and try to convince her to go home.

"Stop following me and go home. Don't I cause enough trouble for you as it is?"

She spits, reaching for her cigarettes. Did she even bring extra ammunition? No, and I didn't either. We're fucked if we don't turn back now.

"Apparently not if you're running out here on a whim. Look, Diz really, we don't have the necessary gear to survive."

"Mom and dad never leave with anything."

"Because they're mom and dad!"

She stops walking and puts a hand on her hip. Looking back at me as she smokes, I shudder. What has my sister become, and what is she hiding from me?

"So?"

I always forget she doesn't know. That she has no idea of our parents, and what they once were.

"I just mean they're older and know this place better."

"I've wanted to get out for so long. Just let me go to the monument, and I'll be back before mom and dad do."

She's not going to change her mind. Once Dizzy decides something, there's not much room to change it, and little to compromise. It's better to know that in advance, so you don't spend countless hours arguing with her, like I usually end up doing. Sighing, I look back at Megaton once more. There's no going back there today, I know that much.

"At least let me come with you. If anything happened…"

"Yeah I know, mom and dad would flip. Whatever let's just go."

No. What I wanted to say for some reason, is that I'd never let myself live it down. If I left her here, and something happened…it wouldn't be mom and dad I feared, it'd be my own self. I can't tell you why I feel like that, I just do. She's been raised as my sister my entire life, and even though she's not, I just feel there's something stronger between us. Something…I can't quite explain that draws us together, even after so many years. There has to be a reason, why even though we've downright hated one another, my blood still boils when I remember last night, and think of who possibly hurt her. It boils a lot more, than it ever has, or than it ever should.

"Fine."

I say as she starts to walk, and I start to follow. We don't need a map, to get to the city. You can see it just fine from where we are, and as far as both of us know, you simply walk towards it. But, while Dizzy carelessly looks around at the vast land, a land she's never seen before, I'm distracted. My mind races with dangers, and what could be behind every large rock or broken structure. My dad warned me, of Super Mutants, Deathclaws, and crazies. I've never seen anything aside from a Raider, but, I'm wry regardless.

"Raiders."

Dizzy says, unusually calm. I look around, and see a small group of people heading our way. I reach for my gun, but Dizzy looks back and raises her hand.

"I got this."

Something tells me to trust her. Cautiously, I let my gun fall back on my back, and watch her. Carefully, I watch how something…changes about her. As the Raiders see her outfit, they don't take out their weapons. While they get closer, they see me, and I can tell it's me they don't want to deal with.

"Hey."

Dizzy says, in this tone I've never ever before heard. It's powerful, and seductive. All the Raiders are men, and the three of them stare at her. She's wrapped in some self-imposed glow, something that tells even me, she can handle this.

"What're you doin' all the way out here, girl?"

One of them says, and Dizzy smirks.

"What's it to you?"

"A lot if you ain't gonna talk."

"Why not take it up with Scab before you start talking to me like that?"

The Raider boys nod in submission. Scab? Who is he and what kind of name is that? Instead of picking on Dizzy, they turn their attention to me.

"Who's this fool you got?"

"Don't worry about him, he's fine."

"He ain't fine with us."

Dizzy takes her gun faster than I can think to get mine.

"Fuck with him, and you're fucking with me. Fuck with me, and you're fucking with Scab. Think of that."

Surprisingly, they do. They look at both of us, and Dizzy keeps the demeanor she took on until they start to leave without another word. I don't bother to watch them, but Dizzy does. She stands there, gazing at them until they're finally out of earshot. When they are, she sighs and puts her gun back on her waist, the glow around her vanishing.

"Come on."

Following her, I decide I'm not going to let this topic drop. Beneath the burning hot sun, in the middle of the Capital Wasteland, my sister somehow convinces four Raider boys to leave. It wouldn't been easy to take them on, but it wouldn't have been hard, either. More likely than not, it would have been a giant waste of ammunition we could have used on a bigger threat. But…thanks to Dizzy, it didn't have to be that way.

"Hold on, wait. Who is Scab?"

"None of your goddamned business."

Grabbing her arm, I pull her back to me. We stop walking, and she rips her arm from my hand, glaring. Has she forgotten last night? That she was in pain and came to me, and promised me that we'd rebuild our relationship?

"We have nothing better to do out here, so you might as well tell me who he is."

"We have to survive, that's better than talking."

"Last night…was he the one who…?"

Her silence is my answer. Tears fill her eyes, but she looks away and continues on without another word. Jogging to walk beside her, I catch up and sigh. She doesn't look at me. She doesn't want to show me the tears she's fighting back.

"You can tell me, Diz."

"Why? So you can run and tell mom and dad?"

"No, so I can help you."  
"And then tell mom and dad."

"I wouldn't tell them anything you didn't want me to."

"It doesn't matter! They'd find out anyways if you did something!"

"How?"

She gets frustrated and tosses her cigarette to the ground. Balling her hands into fists, I think she's going to punch me. But she doesn't. Instead, she sighs and talks through clenched teeth.

"Because Scab is the head of the Raider gang around Megaton."

"And how do you know him?"

Again, she averts my gaze. I'm not stupid, and I connect the small dots between last night, her late-night triads, and now.

"Dizzy! You didn't…did you?"

"What's it matter anymore? I fucked him."

"What are you, a Raider now?"

She shakes her head.

"I can't do that to you or mom and dad. I'm just someone who can hang out with them freely. And I have status because…of Scab."

"What kind of name is that, anyways? And what kind of person are you to them?"

"A joke, right now."

"What?"

She stops walking, and looks me in the eyes. This is hard for her, but she's telling me anyways. My sister is finally going to give me some insight, into her life and to what's going on. Her bottom lip quivers a bit, as she looks through me with her eyes. I feel a cold breeze, but it doesn't bother me through my jacket. Dizzy rubs her arms, uncomfortable with the wind. I just realize, at night, it can get very cold, very fast out here.

"…Scab is the head of the Raider gang near Megaton. He's made a lot of connections out here."

I raise an eyebrow at her. She shakes her head, as if I don't understand plain English.

"…and…I got close to him."

"Is he the one who caused that cut? Wait, what do you mean you 'got close' to him?"

"What do you think it means, asshole?"

She snaps at me, but alright, it's my fault for asking an inane question. So, Dizzy got herself into a mess with the leader of a Raider gang. Still, I can't connect the dots just yet.

"Alright, what else?"

"And…look they were going to ambush Megaton, but I persuaded them not to, since dad isn't home. And so they didn't, they listened to me for some reason, but now they're waiting, and I don't know why. But…last night…"

"What about last night?"

"I'm getting there! Last night…they wanted me to join the gang for good. And I said no."

"Why?"

"Because I can't do that, I said that already Cain."

"So…what does this have to do with your cut? They hurt you because you didn't want to join?"

"Because of that, and you."

"How does this have to do with me?"

She lights another cigarette, and starts to walk away from me. Quietly, I follow her. Dizzy isn't avoiding the question anymore, she's just answering it at her own time and pace. We walk a few yards, before I hear her voice loud and clear. Out here, everything echoes.

"They said if I didn't join…they'd have to make sure I never told anyone about anything they had planned. They wanted to take you, to make sure I didn't talk, but…"

Take me? Why? Ransom…or…they were going to attack Dizzy where it hurt. Somehow…they knew she was closest to me. Even if it was a long time ago, they still knew.

"So what did they do, Dizzy?"

"Do I have to spell it out? Do I have to go into anymore detail than I already did? Just drop it already, Cain. It's not important."

I'm taken aback, even though I should have expected this kind of response. Listening to her, I don't ask anymore questions. She doesn't need to answer them, I can think for myself. Looking at her as she walks ahead of me, I feel my blood beginning to boil. I was right about last night. Someone hurt her, and badly. They got her, where it hurts almost every woman. Thinking of this, of how much pain she must have been in, about the emotions that were running through her…I get mad. I get mad at them, and I get mad at myself.

I should have followed her. I should have went, and followed her there and never let her leave again. Instead, I didn't. The one time, she truly needed me, I wasn't there to protect her. Looking up at the sky, I see white clouds drifting across it, covering the sun, and floating as if there's not a care in the world. It feels like everything came crashing down on me. Dizzy, never really needed much of my help before. Only with small, childish things like bullying. Then, she needs me, and I'm not there. At the worst of times, at the pitfall of her life, I wasn't there when she needed me most. I don't think I'll forgive myself for that. There's nothing I can do about it now, except…to make sure it never happens again.

Jogging to catch up to her, I meet her just as she finishes her cigarette. She doesn't look at me, and it's alright. I think she just wants to be alone. Even if she wants to be alone, I won't let her. With my right hand, I grab her left. Her fingers collapse in my palm, as I squeeze it gently, letting her know I'm here. She doesn't squeeze it back, but she looks up at me. In her face, I see the child that use to chase me, and hang on my coat.

"You're the only one who would listen to me."

She says, staring at the ground as we walk. I won't let go of her hand, and I want to tell her I'm at her wrath. That at this point, I'd do anything she asked of me, if it meant to see her smile.

"I told you, I would. And I'll fix this."

"What?"

Dizzy tries to tug her hand out of mine, but I don't let her. Holding it, makes me feel better, too. My hand warms when I hold hers, and I don't feel like such a terrible person. Knowing I can still do this, knowing she still accepts me, helps me believe it will be alright in the end.

"When we get back, I'll fix all of this. And no, I won't tell dad. He won't keep his temper like I did."

I let her go for so long. I let her grow distant, and wander off. I should have never, ever let her leave. Never should have put her second, to the callings of puberty and adulthood. Maybe if I had done things differently, then we wouldn't be here now, talking like this.

"…I won't let you do it. You'll get hurt."

"I won't die."

"I won't let you get hurt!"

This time she looks at me. She looks at me, with fresh tears in her eyes, and I realize…those tears are for me. Stopping all movement, she squeezes my hand tightly, sternly glaring at me. The tears well up, and stream down her face. Dizzy cries, at the thought of me being hurt. At the thought of me being hurt for the sake of her. Inside, I feel something. I can't describe it, but, knowing after all this time, she still hates the idea of me getting hurt…makes me want to be closer to her than I ever was in the past.

"If they hurt you, they hurt me too."

She tells me, reading my mind from last night. Pulling my hand, she pulls me close and presses her face into my jacket.

"You're my only friend. You're the only one I could ever talk to. I don't…I don't want you…getting hurt over me. It's my fault and I was stupid. Let me live with it. Stop…stop trying to save me from everything."

I pat her head with my free hand, while she stands there. She isn't crying, but she isn't quiet, either. Her hand is still in mine, and still is when she decides to walk again. We walk side-by-side, towards the city. Dizzy says nothing, but there's nothing left to say. Despite what she says, though, I'll make it my personal mission to get back at those Raiders. To make every single one of them know what happens when they fuck with her. Thinking of this, I absentmindedly squeeze her hand. I feel her squeeze back and then…all the thoughts, and what I'm going to do to them when I get back, dissipates. I look down at her, but her gaze is set straight ahead. She'll never know how much that simple gesture meant to me, or how much last night and our conversation did. In a way, even though I'll kill those bastards, the Raiders gave my sister back to me.

Together, Dizzy and I silently walk over the dirt and sand of the Capital Wasteland. Her hand in mine, I make sure to keep an eye out for any danger. So far, aside from the small group of Raiders, there's been none. No one to look out for, no one to feel scared of. Dizzy doesn't say much, but she sighs every now and again. Glancing at her after one of her sighs, I feel like I'm looking at her for the first time. I feel…like I'm supposed to be here.

Her eyes shift, and she catches me looking at her. Feeling the silence has gone on too long, she starts a new conversation.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

Thought crosses her face, and she looks at me, walking closer.

"Ever…ever get weird feelings?"

"What kind?"

"Like…never mind. I can't really explain it."

I smile at her, and offer comfort even if she doesn't know what she's talking about. Honestly, I don't either.

"Yeah, I do."

I do get strange feelings. Often, I've questioned them, and if they're right. I would watch other kids play with their siblings, be it brother or sister, and none of them had the special bond Dizzy and I shared. None of them, acted like us. They didn't hold their sister's hands, or help them up when they fell. I felt different for that. I thought I was a freak, for caring about my sister as much as I did. But, now that I'm older, I look back and see how stupid they were for not following in my lead. Even though she's a pain in the ass, she has great qualities. Having someone, you can learn to talk to about anything, and be accepted, is a good change.

I still can't tell her everything, or talk openly about things with her. Those feelings I had in childhood, didn't disappear when we fell apart. If anything, they stayed under the radar, waiting for something like last night to come along. At times, I would catch myself watching her. In ways, probably a brother shouldn't watch a sister. Sometimes I'd remind myself that she _isn't_ my sister, and there was nothing wrong with that. But, most of the time I'd say in the end we share DNA, and that means we're related on some basis. Then, I'd feel guilty about it.

Her being close to me now, I know we won't be able to do a lot of the things we did as kids. She won't be able to crawl into my bed, and won't be able to hold my hand anymore. For now it's alright, because she needs it, but later I'll have to tell her normal siblings don't do those things. Yeah they rely on one another, and they offer comfort and support but…she's seventeen now. She's a young adult, if not an adult, and needs to stand alone. I'll always be there if she needs me, but I hope to find a common, middle ground of space and closeness, that lets me protect her but keep these feelings away.

I don't even know, what to call the overbearing protectiveness I feel towards her, or the anger and resentment that boils when I think of someone hurting her. All I know about anything, is that it's not normal. It's not normal, for me to be so angry at people, for me to want to shield her from every bad thing known to man. And it isn't normal, to want to get as close to her as humanly possible. I never felt that way towards Erica, and Erica was there for me throughout my entire childhood. Even then, I didn't feel like she was as important as Dizzy is. I never felt like I had to sacrifice for her, or care for her. Although it was a relief, it was different. At night, I preferred to hear Dizzy screaming at something, than the silence of Erica's house.

"Hey now what?"

Dizzy's voice echoes, and I look down at her blinking. She lets go of my hand, and for a minute it feels cold. Raising a finger, she points stupidly to the river that lies ahead of us, blocking us from entering the city.

"Well…I guess…we swim?"

She's way ahead of me, as I hear the sound of fabric coming off of her body. Her shirt drifts to the ground, as she wiggles her butt from the pants that constrict her.

"Dizzy?"

"Jumping in!"

Leaving her shoes and clothes…and gun, on the ground beside me, Dizzy dives headfirst into the sparkling water.

"Come on!"

She yells, swimming around in her underwear. This girl will get me killed out here. If she leaves her clothes and gun on this side, then what is she going to do on the _other_ side? Grudgingly, I pick up her clothes and pile them in my arms. I don't dive in, instead I wade in, and make my way across carefully while she splashes and has a grand time swimming by herself.

"Cain! Come on, swim!"

"I am swimming, hold on. Gotta at least get this shit to the other side."

"Oh. Smart. Didn't think of that."

No, Dizzy, of course you didn't. That's why I'm doing it for you. Even though I'm annoyed at her right now…it makes me smile. She's a bit brainless, and always has been, but I like that about her. It gives me a break from the usual seriousness I've been feeling these days.

"Okay you're there, swim now?"

Dizzy says just as I reach the wall on the other side. Feeling cornered, I look back at her while she splashes and dives under. It's fresh, pure water so it doesn't bother me to swim in it. She doesn't mind if it's irradiated or not. Rolling my eyes, I jump up on the wall/walkway, and take my gun off my back.

"Finally, you're going to have some fun."

Stripping down to my boxers, I dive in after her. The cool water feels nice over my sweating body, and the hot sun makes for a nice, even temperature. My feet can't touch the bottom, and even though we've never swam before, we know how. Dad taught us in an old bathtub once. Don't ask me how he pulled it off, I can't really explain it, I was too little. But he did.

Joyfully, Dizzy splashes and makes a bunch of noise for all in a twenty-mile radius to hear. Joining in with her, I laugh and splash along, enjoying something we've never done before, and are doing now together. This is both of our first experiences with swimming, and in a way, I like sharing it with her. Sharing firsts is something I've always liked doing with her. When we were younger, I taught her how to shoot her first gun. We both learned how to throw a decent punch at the same time, and we both built our first fort together. Sharing those memories, makes that person special to you. There's no one more special in my life right now, than Dizzy.

"Look out! Incoming!"

Dizzy says as she jumps off of the wall and into the river. When she doesn't come up again for a bit, I start to worry.

"Dizzy?"

I call out, to no one. She can't hear me underwater, and I'm about to panic when I feel something tickling my feet. Kicking, I hit something hard, and soon Dizzy comes up, rubbing her nose.

"You twit!"

She yells, splashing me with water. We spend the rest of the afternoon swimming, laughing, and horsing around together. Last night, Dizzy said she wanted to spend the day with me. I guess, this far surpassed anything we could have ever done together in Megaton. Swimming, laughing, enjoying it all with her, made me happier than I've been in a long time. Hearing her laugh like she once did, makes me have a bit of hope. For what I don't know yet, but it's hope in general.


	5. Chapter 5

As the sun shows signs of setting, Dizzy and I decide to get out and dry off. Before we put our clothes on, we lay on the pavement of the walkway, drying off in the still hot sun.

"I like swimming."

She tells me, putting her arms behind her head and smiling.

"Yeah, it was fun."

"We should do it again on our way back."

"Hey, Diz, what are you really going to do at the monument anyways?"

Shrugging, she closes her eyes and keeps the smile on her face.

"I don't know. Climb it. I've just…always wanted to see it. It's so big and tall and…inviting. I never really felt this way at home, you know."  
"What way?"

"This way. You know, comfortable, free, happy. I always felt like in Megaton, something was gnawing at me, ya know? Like I had to do something. Maybe I'm meant to be some wanderer out here, doing what I want, when I want."

"You do that at home."

"Yeah but…not like this. Megaton is so small compared to this. There's a whole world out there, Cain. Don't you want to see it?"

"I don't know, maybe."

I want to see it. I want to see it more than I can ever admit. But, I can't let her know that.

"Then see it with me."

I look at her as she rolls over. Putting either hand on both sides of me, Dizzy holds herself up as she stares in my eyes. Even though she's acting out of humor, the look on her face tells me she's dead serious.

"See it with me. If you come, than maybe mom and dad won't worry. We can go back to Megaton, and tell them we want to wander away for a bit. Like Zack did."

"Dizzy, that's…stupid don't be so brazen. Why not wait until you're older?"

"Because then you'll get older too."

"Yeah but we have really long lives ahead of us. Look at mom and dad."

No, that isn't true. I won't live half as long as Dizzy. By the time I'm thirty, I won't be able to do the things I can do now. I'm not immune to radiation. My body will age naturally, and quickly. Dizzy…Dizzy will always be young and beautiful, just like she is now. She won't change, even when she's older, like mom. Mom still looks the same today, as she did the say I met her.

"If we do it now, we can enjoy it. When we're older, we can say we did it, instead of saying we didn't."

"Maybe. I'll think about it."

"Cain, this feels great. Being out here, with no one watching or judging, no one telling us what to do."

I sit up and she moves aside. Kneeling in front of me, as my feet dangle over the edge, she stares at me with intense curiosity.

"Who in Megaton judges you?"

Bringing her thumb to her mouth, she nervously bites her nail. Looking at the ground, she sighs while I raise an eyebrow.

"…It's just that…out here, no one…would find it strange if we walked around holding hands. They would in Megaton, because we aren't kids. But out here…"

"No one knows we're related, right?"

Her eyes grow wide as she looks up at me. Like I've exposed some stupid dirty little secret or something.

"…Yeah. I can be close to you like we were…and not have to worry."

Growing up, and still acting how we did, will raise a lot of eyebrows in Megaton. But, not for the reasons Dizzy thinks. Because Gob, Church, mom and dad, and some of the older citizens know the truth. The citizens think I'm adopted, but still, it's closer to the truth than Dizzy knows. They'll think I'm trying to… I don't even want to think about that.

"For now, you can be as close as you want to me. When we get back home…I'll think about talking to mom and dad with you. After a few days then…we'll see."

"Do you mean it?"

"Yeah."

Dizzy smiles at me. A wide, toothy smile. She curls her knees to her chin, and rests on them, still smiling at me. Behind her, the sun starts to set over the Capital Wasteland, and I run my fingers through her short hair. For all we know, there's danger and chaos waiting above us, at the beginning of the city. Mom and dad could have decided to come home early, and are frantic since we're missing. Raiders could be attacking Megaton, or the whole would could end at this very moment. But, right now, I couldn't care less about any of that. I couldn't give a damn, what happens to the world around me. Because in my own world, everything is perfect. Sitting in the setting sun, drying from a day I wouldn't trade for the world, and staring at Dizzy smiling at me like that…makes the world seem right. Right now, I can't help but look at her, and smile back.

"You should cut your hair."

She says, lifting her hand and brushing the strands of my long hair. It's really not that long. It brushes my shoulders, and slightly covers my eyes. I had it short before, a nice crew cut, but I've just been too uncaring to cut it again. Shortish in the front, longish in the back, my hair is always a mess. Mom says it reminds her of someone named Wernher from her past, but I have no idea who that is.

"I like my hair."

I say in my defense. Dizzy's fingers dance around the strands that dangle near my bare shoulders, smiling thoughtfully.

"Yeah. I do too."

"You should let yours grow."

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"I'll look too much like mom."

No she won't. She has a perfect mixture of both our parents. I should know, because when I see her, it's almost as if I'm looking at the female version of myself. But those eyes…those eyes may be from our father, but the expressions are from our mother. There's no way, anyone else, could say everything and say nothing without words like she does.

"No you won't."

She pulls her hand away, and stares at me while searching for her cigarettes. Putting two in her mouth, she lights one for me. I take it and stare back at her.

"You don't think so?"

"Not at all. You…you'll be fine."

I want to tell her she'll be beautiful, but I hold back. Maybe, that's something a brother doesn't say. Blowing out a cloud of clear and white smoke, I stare at Dizzy, analytically. She reminds me of a Megaton resident who left not too long ago, Amata was her name. Except Dizzy is paler, and has a narrower face. I always thought Amata was a bit broad. But they have similar dark hair, and Dizzy has the bluest of eyes. Her physique is all woman, but you look at her and know she can take on someone twice her size. Something, she gets from our father.

"You're so lame."

Dizzy shoves her hand in my face, and knocks my head down playfully. Going along with it, I let her win this round, because I enjoy the sound of her laughter far too much to want to win. If I wanted, I could easily push her back in the water. Instead of doing that though, I decide to fake it.

"Watch out!"

I yell grabbing her shoulders, and pushing her forward. She screams, and latches on to me. Even when she realizes she wasn't going to fall, and I had her in my arms the entire time, she holds on to me, laughing. Her skin is soft, from the water and sun, and it's a bit darker from being outside all day. A chilly wind hits us, and even though she's bone dry, I feel her shudder in my arms. Instinctively, I pull her close as I move back on the walkway. We stay like this for a quiet and long moment. Dizzy's arms cradled against my chest, with the rest of her body, as my arms wrap around her. She closes her eyes for a minute, and sighs deeply. Her cigarette fell into the water with the joke, so I offer he some of mine.

"We can't sit like this in Megaton, even though I like it."

"Yeah? Why you like it?"

I ask her, curious.

"Because it reminds me of when we were kids. I never thought anyone in the world could hurt me, if you were this close."

"That's good of you to know."

Lifting her head, Dizzy stares at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Because it's true."

"Do you care this much about me, because you want to, or because you know mom and dad will kill you if you don't?"

I can't answer that question. Even though I know the answer, I know I can't tell her. Her ways will pry me, and I'll be forced to give an explanation I'm not even sure I know how to give. Answer things, that I can't even answer for myself. So instead of doing that, I just smile at her, and kiss the top of her head. I know she's displeased, but since I bit my tongue earlier, she'll bite hers for tonight.

"Come on. It's getting dark, and we need to find shelter."

Dizzy nods in agreement and we stand to dress. Another cold wind hits, and I hear her hiss through her teeth in cold. Holding my duster jacket in my hands, I turn to face her.

"Here. It'll be cold."

I leave no room for her to argue, as I drape the heavy coat around her shoulders. She looks up at me with those emotion-filled eyes, and gives a smirk. Leading the way, I let her follow me up the stairs, and we're greeted with an obstacle. Mom never told me, neither did dad, that there were giant piles of rubble in the way of getting to where we need to be. Something we could have traveled to in a night, just became a few days' trip. Dizzy joins my side, as I stare at the vast piles of concrete and debris that block the easiest routes to the Washington Monument.

"Now what?"

She asks again, like we've collided with another river. In a way we have, only this river is a giant, tangles mess of broken concrete and steel. Scanning the area, I seen an opening to what looks like an underground tunnel system. On the map of the Capital Wasteland mom has on her Pip-Boy, there were things called 'metro stations'. I'm assuming this is them, and also assuming that there's no other way around the city than to just simply travel beneath them. On a bright note, it's shelter.

"We go down here."

"How do you know?"

"Would you rather climb over that?"

Dizzy looks where I'm pointing, at the pile of rubbish, and she smirks. Making eye contact with me, she shrugs as she holds the edges to my jacket.

"Why not?"

Shaking my head I grab her wrist to tug her forward.

"Come on, Diz. We're not climbing over that."

"Just saying it's possible."

"Yeah I know."

I know because mom told me she did the exact same thing. It's sort of interesting to know all this about my parents, and watch from the sidelines as their own traits show in Dizzy's way. She has my mother's stubborn, hotheaded and immature ways, while holding on to my father's strength and drive. I think, as well, Dizzy inherited the gene to finding trouble, attracting trouble, and…somehow…holding it all together when the world has nothing better to offer you. I can't think of a woman, who could smile and laugh today, after what happened to her last night. That is, except, Dizzy.

When we get to the bottom of the concrete stairs, there's a gate with a lock on it. I see it as a dead end, but Dizzy takes it instead as a challenge.

"We can manage."

Not wanting to give up the hopes of seeing the Washington Monument, Dizzy's mind begins to work in ways I've never seen before. She scans the ground, looking for some unknown object. I keep an eye out at the top of the steps, for danger and other such things.

"Found it!"

She yells, and I look back at her.

"What'd you find?"

Without saying a word, she shoves a small, thin piece of metal in my face.

"What're you doing with that?"

"Watch."

And I do. I watch as she kneels down in front of the lock, and painstakingly inserts the piece of metal into it. Quietly, diligently, Dizzy goes to work on picking it. It takes a few long minutes, but soon she succeeds, and I stare at her in wonder.

"I dunno how I knew that."

I know how. Mom used to do that all the time. Dad always told me there wasn't a computer she couldn't hack, or a lock she couldn't pick. Dizzy seems to have inherited a lot of mom's traits, even the ones I thought couldn't be passed down. At the same time, as much as she is both of our parents, she's still herself. Twirling the lock in her hands, she smiles at me as the gates swing open.

"Say it."

"Say what?"

I ask as I walk past her. Ahead of us lies a very dimly lit tunnel system. Too bad we didn't bring a light of some sorts. I hear the drop the lock on the pavement, and her footsteps behind me as she follows.

"Say I am the most amazing creature to ever walk this earth."

"You are, happy?"

I look back at her, feeling a lot more serious about this adventure than she is. Beaming, Dizzy smiles and follows behind me. This place is dark, lit just enough to see your hand in front of your face. It doesn't matter if it's day or night outside, whatever light is available here is all we have. Neither one of us have ever been far outside Megaton, and instead of taking this matter seriously, Dizzy is busy going through lockers and making a shit ton of noise.

"Stop being so loud."

I whisper, and my whisper echoes just as loudly as her clanking around.

"Why? We haven't run into any danger."

"Yeah but we might."

Cautious, I take the gun from my back and hold it securely in my hands. Dizzy doesn't copy me, but she does stop making all that racket. In the dark, she sticks close to me. I hear my jacket flapping as it hits her feet, and I hear her feet moving across the cemented ground.

"What kind of danger?"

It's a stupid question to me, but Dizzy doesn't know any better. She's a lot like how mom was when she left the vault. Really naïve to the outside world. I guess I'm the same way, but at least I have my parents' history and stories to rely on. Dizzy is a wet match in a dark cave on this one. All the more reason to protect her, and be the big man in town. Not like I want to be the toughest guy around, I don't. I just want to get my sister to where she wants to go, and then back home, without losing any digits or appendages in the process. That might be too much to ask, though.

After a few minutes of walking, Dizzy and I come to a large, open room. It's spacious, and has steps leading down to a lower half.

"Oh, wow…it's huge."

Dizzy says, letting her voice echo loudly.

"Echo!"

She screams, and then bursts into girlish laughter. The light is brighter here, due to some cracks in the, I guess, ceiling. Those cracks could lead to a cave-in, though, so I step around the rays of light.

"Cain, my legs really hurt."

It dawns on me that Dizzy has never walked this far in her entire life, nor spent the day swimming. I didn't think that the small rest we took would do much harm, but it did. Allowing her muscles to rest meant starting them up again would make them sore. Tomorrow they'll be even worse. I have dad's training to thank for my legs not being nearly as tired as Dizzy's.

"Can we camp here? It seems safe."

Her version of safe is a lot different than mine, but I can't help but tell she's right. There's one main way in, and one alternative way down. If we stick to the shadows, and not make a lot of noise, someone could easily walk right past us without knowing. Putting my gun back on my backside, I look behind me at Dizzy. She's pouting in overdramatic pain, and I sigh.

"Yeah, alright. Look around for something to sleep on."

Nodding, she listens to me. She likes to tinker with things and explore, and I know she's taking this chore pretty seriously. Small things entertain her, and I like that. She's not easily bored.

"This really sucks."

I take that last thought back. Looking over at her, she's kicking a stale mattress she found in the corner. Obviously not wanting to touch it, I wonder how she'll be when she has to actually use her weapon. When she sees what's needed to survive out here, I wonder if she'll fall into place, or fall to pieces. I hope at least, until we get back to Megaton, she can keep it together long enough for us to survive.

"Here, just leave it there."

I tell her, and promptly she sits on it. Wrinkling her nose, she stares at me.  
"It smells like death."

"Probably someone died on it."

Jumping up, Dizzy gives me a look of horror. Her face goes white, and in the dim light it looks like it's glowing.

"…You mean…someone died on it?"

"Probably. Dizzy did you even think this through? People die out here all the time. Horrible deaths. Why else would mom and dad keep us in Megaton?"

"How do you know this?"

I sigh and shake my head. Walking over to her, she sucks it up and sits on the mattress. Eyeing it carefully, Dizzy waits for my answer. Folding my arms in front of my chest, I tower over her. I guess I'm working the intimidation card, so that hopefully she'll listen to me this time.

"Because I hear about it all the time back home. It's obvious by looking at the traders who come through Megaton, this life isn't lavish or wanted by many. Why else would Megaton be so damn popular? Because it's safe, Dizzy."

She curls up again, and I'm thinking it's this new defensive maneuver she's adapted. Sitting beside her, I put my hand on her knee and sigh. This wasn't thoroughly thought out, and Dizzy really didn't know the severity of leaving Megaton. Maybe now she will and not be so adamant about taking off.

"You know, it was for your safety that mom and dad didn't let you leave sooner."

"I know that _now_ but I didn't then. Hey maybe I just had to learn it on my own, ya know? Like, figure shit out for myself."

"Yeah and maybe when you have to actually use your gun you'll think twice and stay home."

"Do people really kill one another so easily out here?"

"Yes, Dizzy. And they won't take pity on you because you're a woman. If anything, it'll be harder for you because of that."

She gazes down and makes circles with her finger on the concrete. Her silence tells me she knows this already, and her posture tells me she's scared. I want to offer to bring her back home, but I feel it's too soon. Maybe after spending a cold night in a dark, unknown place she'll feel differently. Tomorrow, I can try to convince her. We're no deep in the tunnels, and the way out is right beside us. All we'd have to do is cross the river and keep on track. If we left early enough, we could make it by the afternoon, dusk even. I know, that myself alone can do fine out here. My emotions are limited, and caring for myself would be easy. But with Dizzy…it's ten times harder. She depends on me for nearly everything out here, not knowing even the most basic of survival skills. I doubt she even knows how to spark a fire without her lighter, or keep watch for danger in the night. Granted I'm no survival expert, but I have enough training and knowledge passed down from my parents to know better. I knew better than to run blindly into the Capital Wasteland, but because I was chasing Dizzy, I didn't have time to think twice.

"Look, maybe tomorrow you'll want to go home. If you do, that's fine. Just…tell me. Because I have no idea how to navigate these tunnels, and chances are we'll get lost."

"I'm hungry."

"And we have no food."

She looks up at me, pouting.

"Dizzy you ran out here, with nothing. I can't magically pull food out of my ass for you."

"You could, but that'd be disgusting."

"The fact you thought of that is disgusting."

I smile at her, and she smiles back. Leaning forward, Dizzy collapses into my lap, sighing through the fabric of my pants. I feel her hot breath on my skin, and cover her with my jacket that fell off. Patting her back, I make sure she's covered. If she gets any colder, I'll have no clothes left to offer her.

"Yeah well, I'd rather be stuck here with you than anyone else."

"Yeah? Why's that, Diz?"

"You're not stupid. And you keep me warm. And I don't feel lonely when you're around."

She rolls over on her back, her head still in my lap. I can see in her eyes she's exhausted, and it'll be an early night for her. Hope she doesn't fall asleep on my legs, though. I'd have to wake her to move her, and waking her is never a simple task. I stroke her hair, absorbing the tenderness she's giving me. I suppose, as long as the wrong feels right, it isn't very wrong.

"You don't? Even when we weren't talking?"

She nods, pulling my jacket to her neck.

"You were just a room over. I'd sit against the wall sometimes, and it'd feel alright. Because you were close, and you'd hear if anyone came in. I knew you'd keep me safe, regardless of if we were talking or not."

"I'd rather us be talking, though."

"Yeah me too. It's better. I like it."

She reaches in my jacket, and pulls out my own cigarettes. Again, she lights two and offers me one. I take it, and lean back on my palms. I'm uncomfortable, but she's alright, and right now that's all that matters. It's strange. As hostile inside as I was towards her, I've realize if she's happy, than I am too. My selfish wants and desires take second place, to Dizzy's wants and desires. In a sense, I'm a hostage to the feelings I have, and to what she wants. But it's not bad, only if it isn't there, and I'm free to think about myself as a single person, is when I want to abandon her. It'll be harder to think that in time. To want to abandon her. As long as we keep up our relationship, Dizzy will always have me around. For that, I wonder, if I'm acting out of codependency for her approval and care, or if instead of a free man and my own wants and desires?

"I should have tried to talk to you more, so don't put the blame on yourself."

I tell her, smoking my cigarette, and laying down. My arms can't support me for very long in this position, so it's easier for me to lie down and let her stay on my lap. But as soon as my back touches the mattress, Dizzy sits up. With my jacket around her, she scoots her butt near my side, and I put my hand on her hip. Almost encasing her, protecting her against danger and the cruel world outside of our bubble.

"Hey, can I show you something?"

Dizzy asks, jumping up. I sit up, and stare at her in wonder. Dropping her gun, she smiles shyly at me.

"…I haven't told anyone this, and you're going to call me crazy but…"

"Should I be concerned?"

I ask as she takes a drag of her cigarette. She shakes her head at me and inhales the smoke, closing her eyes.

"No, no it's…it's a good thing. Music."

"What about music?"

"Here, look, I can't explain it I just have to show you."

"But you have no music here. What are you saying?"

"I just need a beat and then…then it comes to me, and I've wanted to show someone so long. I do it in my room all the time."

"Show _what_?"

She smiles and bends down. Taking my hands, she slaps them against my thighs until she hears a rhythm.

"Do that. Okay? Do that, and go a bit faster."

I do it, and look at her. I'm worried as to where this is going.

"Like this?"

"Faster."

I does as she says, because I have no idea what else to do.

"Alright good now, watch. Watch this is…Cain you wouldn't believe how I feel when I do this."

I raise an eyebrow as I concentrate on the rhythm she taught me. Closing her eyes, Dizzy starts to move her body. She learns the rhythm in her legs, and it slowly moves to her arms. Her stomach becomes the center of all focus, as her hips move up and down. Accentuating the movement, her arms add small detail, but most it's a focus on the torso. I stare at her, wondering where in the world she picked this up from. Wondering, how she learned to do this. I can't hear anything but the rhythm I make for her, but inside her head, I know there's music. There's an entire orchestration behind her, directing her body in these mystical and entrancing movements. I don't want her to stop, but then she does.

"That's it. I can't do it anymore."

I stop the rhythm, a bit more than a little disappointed.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I need someone to dance with me."

My eyes grow wide and I raise my hands.

"No way. It's pretty when you do it, but…I'm a _guy_. We're not supposed to move our hips and stomach like that."

Leaning forward, she looks at me like she's possessed. But, not by a demon or hellish figure, instead, by something powerful. She's passionate about this, I can see it in her eyes. This, must mean more to her than I could ever understand. Her secret love for music and dancing…is something she's been wanting to share with me since it's discovery, whenever that was.

"Come on, here, I'll show you."

Because she's so passionate about it, I listen to her. Pulling me to my feet, Dizzy positions my body beside hers.

"Just move, in a manly way, to my movements."

"That's not vague at all, Dizzy."

"Look, if you know when to jump in, than I can finish the dance, Cain. I can _finish_ it and _perfect_ it and it'll be beautiful."

I want to tell her it already is, but I know she won't listen to me.

"Fine."

I say, and she nods.

"Okay, just watch me, and try to feel the rhythm."

"How?"

She puts herself in front of me, and with the palms of her hands, pats my chest.

"Like that. Rhythm. Dig?"

"Dug."

"Good."

And then, it begins. I watch her, as her eyes close and she feels the deaf rhythm inside of her, and her arms and legs start to dance. It isn't in any way sexual, but it is enticing. It's beautiful, and I make sure to watch her carefully, unsure of what to do. In her movements, she expertly grabs my hand at the right time, and raises it above her head. As if she's passing on this passion of music to me, through our contact, I jump in beside her.

"Clap, like this."

She raises her hands, and I follow her lead. I clap my hands in the air, trying to imagine whatever is going on in her head. On the third clap, I think I feel it. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I spin her into me. As I do this, she bursts into uncontrollable laughter, and I can't help but feel a bit embarrassed.

"What?"

I say, as I hold her in my arm. Opening her eyes, she smiles at me.

"Maybe I can make the song, so you can get better. It's in my head, and it's high beats. It's…it's stupid to dance with no music, but I can hear it in my head."

"I think…I think it's great you feel this way about something."

"You don't think it's stupid?"

I've never heard her so serious about something before. Shaking my head, she stands there, and my arm is still around her.

"No. No I…I think you'd be great at it. Not that you aren't already but…if there was music it'd be easier for people to catch on."

"It's…I woke up one day, and just started dancing. I heard music playing outside of my room and…and I fell in love with it."

Resting her hands on my stomach, Dizzy looks at me as if I've just given her the world. She shares this thought and idea and passion she's held inside with me, and I see how much it means to her. I don't know much about music, but, if it makes her happy I can try.

"I think…I'm happiest these days, when I hear strange music in my head, and I dance to it. Do you think that's strange?"

"Not at all. I think, it's a good thing for you to have that kind of feeling."

Dizzy smiles up at me, happy to have my support and acceptance.

"Like, look, see this?"

She starts to clap her hands, and with the clapping her hips sway. I let my arm fall from her side, and watch as she moves with controlled force and defiance.

"It just happens. I feel it in my hips. And then my feet move."

I look down and she starts to move her feet, in perfect opposing union to her hips.

"But, all my dances are around my lower half, so I have to be careful with my hands. I know, it sounds stupid."

She stops clapping and moving, and sits down on the mattress. I smile down at her.

"It's not stupid. Talk to mom about it. Maybe, she can help."

"Mom will laugh at me."

"How do you know?"

Dizzy shrugs and steps on the cigarette that fell from her hands. I sit beside her, and stare at her. The person my sister has become, is something to admire. Despite her attitude, she has passions and admiration for things most people would overlook. I never see anyone, never saw anybody, ever enjoying the simple movements of dance as she has. Never even witnessed any single person dancing, or entrancing anyone, as she did me. Instead of hiding it, I think she should work on improving it. With the help of Megaton, maybe we could turn it into something that could profit everyone. An entertainment, a class, something that would make everyone want to help and be involved in. Even better, something my sister could do, instead of finding the attention she craves from Raiders. Everyone would stare at her, watch her, and be hypnotized by her.

I sit beside her, as she pulls my jacket over her shoulders.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

Looking at her, I see the excitement fade away, but the happiness still lingers.

"I'm happy."

I smirk at her, and put my forehead against the side of her head.

"Good to hear it."

She yawns, with our heads still touching.

"You should get some sleep."

"Yeah…I think I will. Will we be okay?"

"We'll be fine. I'll stay up for a bit, and fall asleep soon."

She closes her eyes, and nods. I close my eyes too, and feel her head move against mine. Lifting her head, Dizzy's hot breath warms my chilled face. Kissing my cheek, I open my eyes and watch her flop down on the mattress. Asleep before she can get comfortable, I smile at her. Picking up my jacket, I cover her entire body with it. She's had a long day, we both have, and sleep is probably the best thing. Even if we're both thirsty, cold, and hungry, it's the only escape we have right now. She must have exhausted herself when she showed me her dance, but she wanted to so badly I couldn't say no.

I watch my sister, as I sit against the wall. She's not a little girl anymore. Now, she's a woman. The place where her lips brushed my cheek is warm, and tender. Soon, Dizzy will find a relationship. She's going to grow up, and have a family of my own. Thinking of her, with a man although normal, makes me feel strange inside. As if I don't want her to. As if I can keep her beside me, and only me for the rest of our lives. I know that isn't true, though. I know, like every other girl, Dizzy will find a man worth her time, and leave home. But, just because she thinks he's deserving, is he? I want to keep my sister, close to me, beside me. I know it's wrong, that she's not the little girl who chased me anymore. She has feelings and urges I as a brother cannot offer her. I have urges, too, but I found someone to comfort them. I had Erica. But, I never got mad at myself, when I thought of another man with Erica. Instead, mentally, I knew I would accept it as a loss, and feel the hurt for a while, but eventually get over it. When I think of Dizzy, laughing, smiling, and enjoying the company of another man, I get angry. In a childish way, I feel whatever another man can give her, I can offer double. Only, there are things, that siblings can't offer one another. Even though the voice in the back of my mind says we're not related, I remind myself it doesn't matter. We share genes, and have been raised as siblings. There's no way around that, and I have to accept it. I have to accept, that slowly, Dizzy won't rely on me like she use to. She's growing up, and we missed out on a lot by not speaking. Sooner than later, Dizzy won't need me anymore. I don't know, how I'm going to deal with that day when it comes. I just don't.


	6. Chapter 6

At some point during the night, I wake up. My back is stiff, and I fell asleep sitting against the wall. It's almost pitch black when I open my eyes, and sleepily, I rub them.

"…Dizzy?"

I say, still half asleep. Blinking, I try to force my eyes to focus on my surroundings. When my eyes do finally adjust to the dim light, I stand up and rub my head. Yawning, I stretch and walk over to the mattress.

"…Diz, you awake?"

I look down to see my duster, but no Dizzy. At first I don't believe my eyes, and blink again. When she's not there still, I touch the mattress. It's warm. Inside, my heart begins to pound as my adrenaline rises. Her gun lays on the side of the mattress. As oblivious as she is, I know deep down, she wouldn't leave me here. Especially without her weapon. She may have run out here blindly, but she wanted me to follow her.

"Dizzy?"

I shout, louder, my voice echoing. Then I realize, I probably shouldn't be shouting. That wherever she is, I could probably hear. This place amplifies sound, I just have to listen. Listen, and carefully follow whatever I hear. Bending down, I grab my gun and quietly walk over to the edge of the platform. My heart races so loudly, I can hardly hear anything, but I try anyways. Below me, I hear a stifled voice. Someone, below me, is talking and trying to stay quiet. I don't care who they are, but they better have some sort of clue as to where my sister went. The bed was still warm, which means she hasn't been gone long. I have to find her before it all runs cold. I refuse to return to Megaton empty handed.

Walking down the steps, I'm careful where I put my feet. I don't know if there's any passages under them, and the last thing I want is to scare away the mysterious person. As I get closer to the ground, the voice gets louder. I realize, this person isn't alone. There's more than one, and they're not talking to each other. They're talking to someone, but not one another. It could be Dizzy. My hands shake with adrenaline, and worry, as I come to the base of the steps. Turning my head, I see the glow of a small fire, and a figure standing in front of it. Driven by impulse rather than planning, I hurriedly walk towards the group.

"…didn't know a goddamned thing!"

I hear someone say, as I come to the open entrance of the small corner they're hiding under. It's the same group from earlier. One of them kicks something, and a muffled cry of pain hardly audible, tells me it's Dizzy. Without thinking, without listening to my father's advice, I jump into the situation.

"Hey!"

The three Raiders turn around. They're blocking my view of what's on the ground, but there's no doubt in my mind it's Dizzy.

"Why, hello there."

I'm supposing the leader of this small gang says. He looks familiar, especially when he tosses me a smirk.

"What in the hell are you doing?"

I say, grabbing my gun and holding it both hands. The leader looks at my gun, and then back at me. He takes a step forward, and suddenly any feelings of fear vanish. It's like I'm working outside my body, with the only thought being to get Dizzy to a safe place.

"Ain't none of your business, pretty boy. Why not scamper on back to the sewer you done crawled from and leave us be, say?"

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

I aim my gun at him, and he laughs. Walking up to it, he opens his arm. There's a crazy look in his eye, and I know it from…from somewhere.

"You gonna shoot your old buddy now? Let's be men and talk this out."

Old buddy? I stare at him, at the smirk he gives. I try to recall, where in the world I've seen him before. Searching my memories, I realize I can't remember an instance where I've met a Raider like him.

"I don't associate with Raiders."

I tell him, poking him with my gun. I should have very well shot him by now, but with the other two watching me, and Dizzy supposedly on the ground behind them, I can't take any chances.

"I wasn't a Raider back then, buddy. Come on, you don't remember me?"

And then…I do. The person I'm staring at, the person messing with my sister, was one of the older boys I shared a room with. One of the ones, who would come back bloodied and angry from punishment. He would offer to go in my place, if I was up for punishment or lessons. In shock, I drop my weapon, as his maniacal laughter echoes and surrounds me.

"See? That's better."

"How…did you recognize me?"

"Hard to forget the most specialist person in the whole wide world now. Because of you, all of us had to suffer!"

"Us?"

He waves his hand behind him, at the two men who block my view.

"Us. We're _all_ from the same exact place. Pity, you don't remember us."

I realize that Dizzy is hearing this, that she can hear everything loud and clear. I hope, and god I know it's wrong, but I hope she's unconscious.

"It was a long time ago. None of us had names."

"No! But you have a name now, don't you? You have a name, a home, a family and a pretty, pretty little sister, don't you?"

I say nothing, but stare at him.

"You have everything, don't you? At least, almost everything. We knew you looked familiar when we saw you. We were lucky to find you, and your little connection."

"You don't have any idea who you're messing with. Leave us alone."

There's no name I know of to call him by. Back then, we were so young, we had no numbers.

"Why should I? What pain have you got in your perfect life? Taken in by a warm family, you left the rest of us to fend for ourselves!"

"I had no choice in the matter!"

"No, but your 'father' did. Wait…he's…he's not your father is he, Cain?"

"How do you know my name?"

He points behind him, the sick smirk permanently imposed on his face.

"She called for you first. Cried for you. But you didn't show."

It's the last bit I can take. Thinking of that, of Dizzy calling for me out of pain than joy, I lose my mind. Grabbing the front of his tattered outfit, I charge him. Lifting him inches off the ground, I slam him against the concrete wall. He laughs in response. Laughs, as if he's mocking me. Again, I slam him against it.

"I see you have a weakness, Cain."

"Shut up! Shut up!"

"Where were you, 'big brother'?"

"I said _shut up_!"

With more power than I ever knew I had, I tear him from the wall and fling him across the concrete. His buddies, the comrades from my past, circle around me. I'm ready, as I hear inside my mind, the child that Dizzy was, crying out for me. I wasn't there. I wasn't there again.

"Stop!"

Their leader yells, and in the glow of the fire I see his shadow stand up. His friends stop their advancement, and I wish they didn't. I want to hurt them, and let them know exactly how it feels. The rage I feel, this rage, is beyond normal. It's comparable to nothing, and it pulses and rages in my veins.

"You were so _special_, Cain. So _very_ special. While you were happy with your fake family, _we_ were trying to survive! _We_ were the ones, fighting for our very lives!"

"I had no idea! I didn't know! You can't blame me for your lives! Blame the people who did it to you!"

"We can't. They're dead."

He says, stepping into the light. Blood trickles down the side of his mouth, and carelessly he wipes it with the back of his hand. On the walls, the shadows of flames lick the walls. They dance behind us, and it makes me think of the fires of hell. I look at the men around me, and I know I can do this. I know I can.

"We can only blame you, Cain. You, for having the perfect life in the safest place. You."

"…ow…ahhh."

I hear her. I hear her. Behind me, Dizzy comes to. She raises her head, I can only see her shadow on the wall. My heart melts, as relief washes over me like a tidal wave. One of the men goes over to him, and before I can stop him, he kicks her square in the stomach.

"No!"

I scream, lunging, anger fueling every last bit of me. Grabbing him, I don't listen or hear anything else around me. All I see, all I feel, all I hear, is myself hitting him over, and over again. Bones crack under my fist, blood spurts but I don't stop. I don't stop, as the image of him kicking her flashes over and over in my mind. Hand wrap around my arms, and I fight them off for a bit before they succeed in pulling me off of him. It's useless by then. He's dead in all but name. I'll finish the job when I get free. I'll finish each and every one of them.

"Let go of me!"

I yell as two pairs of hands and arms entangle around me. As they tear me from my victim, and as they pin me against the wall. Easily, I can break from this. My size and strength doesn't compare to both of them combined. Unlike them, I didn't spend years in anger and hate. I spent time, honing my skills, and working the body I was created to have.

"You're a _freak_!"

The leader yells, and I quiet myself. I let my body slowly repair and rejuvenate, for the plan I'm making in my mind.

"You heard me, you bastard. You're _nothing_ and yet _you_ get the gifts? Special treatment inside, and out. You're not even _human_."

"She has _nothing_ to do with this! She has no idea! Let her go!"

Dizzy is on my mind. She's always on my mind. I realize then, the deep love I feel for her. Only she, could create this blind rage. Only she, can make a man do these things.

"Of _course_ you wouldn't tell her! We know _all_ about her, about how you kept her stupid. About all the little dirty things you won't tell her. Amazing, what you find out, when you're in the _same group of people_."

They let me go, knowing for the moment I want to hear what they have to say. Seething, I keep my temper, and glance at Dizzy. In pain, she lies in a curled-up ball. Wisely, she gives no notion to anyone if she's conscious or not.

"I don't care what you know. If you know anything, you'll know she has _nothing_ to do with us."

"You're wrong, Cain. She has _everything_ to do with this. She's the only thing close to you, isn't she? That little girlfriend you had, even she didn't compare. You've never felt the feeling of loss, have you? Have you ever felt what it was like, to watch your friends around you _die_? No. You were taken into a warm home, with hot meals, while we were left to starve."

"It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my parents."

In anger, he punches the wall beside my arm. He's smaller than me, but his anger is greater than anything I've seen before. Perhaps, even, greater than mine.

"_They're not your parents!_"

My mind slowly snaps. I don't care if he's right. I don't care, if he's telling the truth to the whole goddamned world. All I care about is Dizzy. That she hears this, and finds out everything is a lie. All she ever thought I was, is a lie. And I'm the biggest liar of them all. Not mom, not dad, not anyone else who knows, but me. Because I got close to her. I made her feel safe, warm, I protected her. It was me she felt all these things with. And now, she could find out that _it was all a lie_. My emotions, my intentions, everything I felt for her was pure, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm not the person she believed me to be. That I lied. That I never told her the truth, when time and time again I assured her how safe it was to talk to me. That…she could trust me. I just got her back. I don't want to lose her again.

Wrapping my hands around his neck, I squeeze tightly. I squeeze until I hear bones cracking, and his face turns blue. Against the cries and violent punches his cohort gives, I hold tight. I can't feel anything. I can't feel my body, as I watch the second man I've killed in my life, die before my eyes. His body goes limp, the thrashing stops, and I turn my attention to the last one.

Cowering as I turn to him, I make a decision split second to let him live. Although I can't even imagine letting him run freely, I do. Somehow, my body restrains itself, and I hold back. He falls to the ground, and I position myself over him, looming, and letting him know I'm in charge.

"You tell them, whoever they are, to leave her alone. If _anyone_ comes around my family, or my town, they'll have _me_ to deal with. You got that?"

He nods, and I wave my hand at him.

"Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see your face again."

Scurrying away, the guy leaves. I hear his footsteps echoing and fading away deep into the tunnels. It's all I hear for a moment, and then…nothing. Instead, I hear silence, and the sound of drums from inside the back of my mind.

"…C…Cain…"

Dizzy. Dizzy. I turn to see her, on the floor. Her torso rises up and down, and blood stains her shirt. I can't see her face, as she lays curled up on the ground. Not wasting time, I run over to her.

"Dizzy, it's alright…it's alright I'm here."

She opens her eyes and looks at me. It…it breaks my head. The words of their pitiful leader rings in my head. It was me, she cried out for. Me, she begged to save her. And I didn't come. Water rises in my eyes, for the first time in my life. Staring back at me, are the lost and vacant eyes of Dizzy. I've never seen them that empty before. Blood runs down the side of her face, and the corners of her mouth. What did they do to her? With the palm of my hand, I wipe the blood from her mouth, and feel her hot breath against my skin.

"Ahh…"

She groans, and I sniff my nose.

"It's alright. It's alright, I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Without thinking, I pull her body into mine and bury my face into the nape of her neck. I'm supposed to protect her. I'm supposed to keep her safe. Make sure, that no one and nothing hurts her. It's what she's always believed. That if she was with me, than nothing in the world could hurt her. And I wasn't there. I let them hurt her. I let the tears run free, as I hold her, and hide my face in shame. She doesn't move in my arms, but feeling her breathing is enough for me.

"…Don't…take me…home…"

Surprised, I pull away from her, and look at her.

"What?"

I ask in disbelief and confusion.

"You'll…tell…"

Shocked, I just stare at her. Even now, she still fears our parents finding out. She's still scared, of the repercussions that'll come with running out here.

"Dizzy…"

Taking a deep breath in, Dizzy wraps her hand around my arm, and tightly.

"It's…better for you. Go without me."

"I'm not leaving you here, Diz. Come on, pull it together."

A bruise is forming on her stomach. A big one. I'm careful, as I cradle her in my arms, letting her get her strength back. At least, by the fire blazing in a barrel, it's warm here. I'll sit with her like this, until she can move. I'll sit here forever if I have to.

"Just go, Cain. It'll…it'll be better."

"Better for who? For me?"

Her answer is in the lost expression on her face. Without her, I won't have to worry. I won't have to think of someone else when planning my life, I won't have to worry about her opinion or even her approval. I can do, whatever I want, whenever I want. But, I don't want that. Maybe, maybe at some point I did. But not now, no. In these short two days, seeing the person she's become, only makes me want her to be around me even more. Only…makes me want to stay by her.

"No, it isn't. It won't be. Stop being stupid."

"I won't…die if you go. I'm just sore…you can go…just…let me deal with them."

"Whatever you have to deal with, I do too. If they hurt you, they hurt me remember?"

Her eyes shift as she looks away. Her silence, just tells me she needs me.

"I love you, Diz. You know that, and I wouldn't feel right if you left."

"Because mom and dad…"

"It has nothing to do with mom and dad!"

I don't realize the angry tears running down my face. I don't even realize all the truth there is in my words. I stare at her, as if I'm offended she thinks I did all of this because of mom and dad. If it was only that, I wouldn't have chased her. I wouldn't have forgiven her. I'm everything in her world, and I hold that renewed title proudly.

"It…is has _nothing_, to do with them. Dizzy, stop it. Stop…thinking I care about you, because of them."

It feels like I can't breathe. It feels, like someone stabbed my throat, and no matter how much I try, I can't get the air I need. In my arms, Dizzy shifts, and I pull her closer to me. I don't want to see her like this again. I don't want to see her in so much pain, so alone, with no one to save her. I have to be, want to be, that one pillar of strength she can lean on.

"But…"

She starts, as her face hides in the nape of my neck. I don't know what hits me, at that moment. Every day I ignored her, ever day I didn't try to talk to her, floods my mind with shame and regret. I realize then, at that very moment, there's no other being I want to care about in the world. That there's no one who can come close to the connection we share. I've never…felt this way about anyone. I don't care, how much time Dizzy and I wasted, the fact is, we can rebuild it. We can fix it.

"It'll be alright. I promise."

"I…don't want to be your burden."

"You're not!"

I yell, not at her, but just yell. Lifting her bleeding head, Dizzy stares at me, her eyes still vacant.

"You're not a burden. You're not…you're not anything bad to me, Dizzy. It's got nothing to do with anything but you and me. Not mom and dad, not the world, not the Raiders or anything. Just you and me."

The bottom of her lip quivers, and I squeeze her small body.

"I…don't know what to do to show you, that I'm not lying."

Dizzy lifts her hand, and places it on my cheek. Her thumb grazes my lips, and for some reason I kiss it. Feeling her nails against my stubble face, I close my eyes.

"I do…really care about you."

It takes a lot for me to say it right now, even though the words come easy, and it's true. Opening my eyes, I stare down at her, and again am hit with a wave of uncontrollable feelings. Urges, emotions, everything lunges at me at once and I can't help myself. Bending down, I give her a kiss not meant to be shared between siblings. I taste blood, and iron in her mouth, but that doesn't surprise me. What surprises me, is that in the middle of all this chaos, she kisses me back. I expected her, truly did, to pull away. But she doesn't. She kisses me back, and it's the most wonderful feeling in the entire world. Even if, it's the most wrong I've ever been, I can't seem to care.


	7. Chapter 7

Suddenly, I realize what I'm doing, as Dizzy's hands reach up and entangle themselves in my hair. Shocked, scared of my actions and emotions, I pull away and look at her. Our eyes meet, and I see an emotion I've never seen before on her face. I can't describe it, because I don't want to describe it. There's no room for words or arguments, as I find motion in my feet, and stand up. Dizzy is securely curled in my arms, as the bruise on her stomach begins to take form.

"Can you walk?"

I ask as if the kiss never happened. I wish it didn't. She looks at me, and then to her legs.

"…I don't know."

"Here, try."

I set her down gently, but no sooner do her feet touch the ground, is she in pain and collapsing in my arms.  
"Ow!"

She yells as I catch her. She can't walk, and she needs radiation. Picking her back up, her knees slung over my forearm, her head resting in the crook of my elbow, I look down at her.

"We're going back to Megaton and that's final. This was a mistake, and it put us both in danger."

I scold her like a child, forgetting the emotions I felt just moments before. Dizzy doesn't argue. She just looks up at me like a lost and starved puppy, and silently accepts her fate. I turn around, her weight not an issue, and start to walk past the two dead bodies of the Raiders who attacked her.

"…You killed them…"

She looks at them, wide eyes with fear, and pushes her body closer to me. Without being absorbed through osmosis, we can't get any closer. I keep my eyes set forward, not wanting to look back, not wanting to remember what I did. I don't care that I took two lives, I can't care. What I do care about, is that I kissed her. And that…it felt good. It shouldn't feel good, and she should have never returned it.

"Yeah."

My voice is emotionless, and I feel Dizzy shudder in my arms. I grab my gun with my foot, and bend down to reach it. Balancing her small frame, her tiny weight, all in one arm for a quick moment, I get my gun onto my back. I replace my arm beneath her legs, and she stares at me.

"…Why…did you kill them?"

"I let one live."

"What?"

I stare at her, eyes set in emotion different than I've ever shown her before. I want her to know the severity of the issue. Want her to know, that when I say she's safe with me, I mean it. No one, is to mess with her. She's the closest thing to me, the only thing I have worth losing. I know that's an insult to my parents, but…I'm sure they of all people would understand.

"He's going to tell every goddamned Raider, not to ever mess with you again."

"My stomach hurts."

"How did they get to you?"

I want to know, because I can't figure any possible way. I could have woken up, would have, unless she herself left of her own free will.

"…They got me when I was sleeping. Covered my mouth, picked me up, and took me downstairs."  
"Why didn't you scream? I would have woken up."

"Because I had shit shoved into my mouth and a gun to my head. Sometimes, you can't scream even if you want to."

She knows this is her fault in a way, and feels bad for it. I can tell by her pale face she's still in pain, and weak. Climbing up the steps, I walk over to the mattress and grab my jacket. Dizzy takes it, wincing from pain in an unknown location, and wraps it around her body.

"You saved me, though. I should find a way to thank you."

"Don't play with the Raiders anymore. That's thanks enough."

I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at myself. I keep my answers short, to keep her from getting too close. I don't want her to think that kiss meant something. Don't want her to think I'm some sick bastard who prays on weakened girls. It…it meant something to me, in my own mind. It doesn't matter if it has any emotional value at this point or not, the fact of the matter is what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have started it, and I intend to close it before it can finish. An impulsive mistake, brought on by feelings and emotions better spent on another person. Someone who isn't the same blood as I am.

"Are we…are we going home now?"

"Yup."

"But you didn't sleep."

"Doesn't matter. We're going home, I'm getting you radiation, and you're resting until better."

Her head leans against my chest as I follow the hallway to the top, where the opened gate is.

"And then what happens?"

"And then mom and dad come home."

"And then what happens?"

"We continue life as usual."

"And then what happens?"

"Life goes on."

"And then what happens?"

I look down at her, and through the pain she smiles at me. I can't help but think her twisted mind got the better of her. Feeling bad, I have to give her a sharp reminder of reality.

"Me and you resume the roles of brother and sister and go about our daily lives."

"Oh. That's what happens."

"Yup."

We're not brother and sister. We're not. We're…we still have the same blood, though. We still come from a single person, and share similar genes. That alone, stops me from getting close to her. That, in and of itself, is enough to ruin any plans my mind may want to have, any urges, any feelings. It all comes crashing down because of that. I'll have to learn to live with it. Learn that…it's a phase and it'll pass. Even if while I'm telling this to myself, I can't help but think back to when I was younger, and all I wanted to be around, was her. People change, things change, events happen and life goes on. This is something, that'll change too. Something I won't have to worry about in the future.

"It's still dark out."

Dizzy says as we come out from the tunnels. She's right. The moon is low in the sky, meaning soon it'll be dawn, and the stars a aplenty. We look at them, even though we've seen them a million times before.

"We'll be home soon enough."

It isn't far, I realize, from here to Megaton. The most challenging thing ahead of me will be to find a shallow part in the river, where I can simply carry Dizzy across. For a while and in silence, I walk along the edge of the river. I can't see shit in the dark, so every now and again I dip my foot in to feel nothing but more water beneath it.

"I can swim."

Dizzy says, and I look at her as I pull my foot out.

"If you can't walk you can't swim. I'm not diving down there to save you, either."

She sighs, and then yawns. Finally I find a shallow place to wade across, and hold her securely in my arms. I don't want to slip and drop her, and give her more injuries.

"Cain?"

"What?"

"My stomach…it really does hurt."

I look down as she pulls the jacket away. Instantly, the blue and purple and a bit red bruise causes me worry. She could be bleeding inside. It will cause a big problem, if not treated soon enough. My father taught me some medical things. I know, that if Dizzy fills up with blood too much on the inside, the pressure can rupture her organs and do permanent damage, if not death.

"Listen to me, and listen well, alright?"

I say, coming to the other side safely.

"Yeah?"

"If we, for whatever reason, have to drain your insides, tell mom and dad you…fell or something."

"Why would they have to drain it?"

"If you're bleeding on the inside and it's too much by the time we get home, it has to be drained."

"Mom and dad aren't stupid. They'll know I didn't fall."

"Tell them…tell them we got into a fight and I did it."

"They won't believe that either."

"Alright what _will_ they believe, then?"

She looks up at me, and I think she has some better excuses than I do.

"That I was parading with Raiders, and got into a fight. That I've learned my lesson. Close to the truth, but still a lie to keep us safe."

"We act like mom and dad beat us."

"They'd beat you if they knew you let me out here. They'd ground me until the world ends again. And I'm scared of dad's temper."

"Yeah."

"He's a lot like you, when you get mad. Loses sight of everything, and leaves little evidence."

Shocked, my eyes widen, and she shrugs.

"Just because I don't talk doesn't mean I'm not awake."

"What…what else did you see? Hear?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Why?"

She doesn't answer me. Instead, the smile fades from her face, and she closes her eyes. Her head falls against my upper arm, and her breathing becomes deep and shallow. Dizzy, falls asleep in my arms, and with her conscious, goes whatever answers she had to my questions. Dizzy got a taste of the Wasteland today, as she survived a Raider attack. Be it personal or not, it was an attack. Hopefully, this will change her mind, and she won't want to come out here again. I don't know what'll happen, when we get back to Megaton, or if our lives will be the same, or even if we'll remain close like we have been in the past two days. All I do know is…I have to forget that kiss, and whatever emotions it stirred in me.

I'm exhausted by the time I open the door to our home. Exhausted, weighted, and ready to pass out. But, Dizzy has been sleeping this entire time. Even though her bruise didn't get much bigger, I'm worried there might be something wrong with her head. She was bleeding in her sleep, and my sleeve has the stains to prove it. Walking into the living room, I lie her down gently on the couch. Mom and dad aren't back yet, so it means their letter wasn't a trick. Good.

Stumbling, tired, into the kitchen I reach into the fridge and grab four bottles of water. Two pure, two irradiated. I down the pure ones in moments, relishing the water and its taste. Carrying the last two, I walk back into the living room and kneel down in front of Dizzy.

"Hey, wake up."

I say, and open one of the bottles. Her eyelids flutter, and her body moves slightly. She's probably stiff, sore, and still in pain. As she moves her head, I press the bottle to her lips.

"Drink it. Please."

She does, and she drinks the entire bottle. I offer her the second one, hardly able to keep my eyes open. This time, she takes it from me, the radiation doing its job. When it leaves my hand, I fall to the floor wanting to sleep for the next couple of days. I hear her gulp down the water, and hear her sigh pleasurably as she feels the effects of the radiation taking place. I've always wondered what it felt like, but knew better than to ask her.

"Cain? Did…did you carry me all the way home?"

"Uh-huh."

I reply, too exhausted to speak. Dizzy got to sleep the entire way. Granted she was injured and had no choice in the matter, but still. I didn't rest, or sleep, or do anything except walk with her in my arms.

"…Here."

She offers me the rest of her water, which isn't much. Just a pile of it on the very bottom. I shake my head, forcing my eyes to stay awake.

"No."

Looking down at me from the sofa, Dizzy smiles.

"Come on, I'll help you to bed."

Radiation must work fast, because Dizzy gets up just fine. Of course she tests her legs, before moving them, and is cautious bending down. Picking my arm up, Dizzy helps hold my weight as she leads me to the stairs, and up them.

"You shouldn't have done that. There's bound to be radiation out there somewhere."

She says, halfway up the stairs. Sighing, I try to support as much of my weight as I possibly can, even though it's not much use.

"Yeah…well…I did…"

We get to the top, and Dizzy leads me to my room. I fall on my bed, letting my arm slide from around her shoulders. As tired as I am, I can't fall right to sleep like she can. I lie away, feeling her stripping off my boots with care, and feel her eyes staring at me in concern. It's a trade off, albeit small. I care for her, and she cares for me. I hope this'll last between us. This mutual understanding and respect for one another.

She takes my blanket and drapes it over me. I listen for a bit, not wanting to open my eyes. I hear her pacing around my room, not really doing much of anything. Thinking, I'm sure. She stops for a minute, before leaving and shutting the door behind me. When I hear it click, I know it's safe to fall asleep. Something tells me, she won't leave the house today. That she'll stay here, and watch me just as I watched her.

I have the strangest dream as I sleep. I can't very well describe it, but there's a lot of blue in it. Blue skies, blue water, and I'm even outlined in blue. I'm not sure why, and yet I feel at peace. There's no grass where I stand, only a glowing blue ground. I hear rushing water, and things fly over my head. They're not scary, and in fact, I'm fine with them. Even if I don't know really, what they are.

For miles it's blue. Everything, a bright and comforting blue. In my dream, I search for my thoughts and stresses, but I find none. My mind is completely at ease with itself. The sky is a darker blue than the ground, but it's still blue. In the distance, on what I suppose is the horizon, I see a figure running towards me. I reach for my gun, but it isn't there. Not feeling threatened, I walk towards the figure, and soon realize, it's Dizzy.

She glides over to me. She doesn't walk, I realize that as she gets closer. Her feet don't touch the ground, but she moves towards me. Fluidly, like water, her movements have an afterthought. She moves her arm, and behind it is a shadow. A trail of moving shadows, following the main object closely. Drums start somewhere far away, and the blueness around us ripples and vibrates. But, still, I feel no threat. Standing in front of me, Dizzy begins to move around me, dancing and casting shadows. Even though I feel the ground beneath my feet, I feel like I'm walking on air as I turn my head and feet to follow her. I try to say her name, but no sound comes out.

My hand goes up to my throat, and I realize my movements have the same shadowing, trailing effect. Looking over at her, she smiles at me as I'm stuck, mesmerized by my own movements. Without the ability to speak, we can only communicate by movements. She takes my hand, and it's warm to the touch, but moves through me. We can't touch one another, and instead, I stare at her. She twirls around me, her hands in the air, as if she's some experienced dancer. I remind myself, she is. The feelings that come, from watching her, wrap the both of us in some sort of blue cloud. Mist surrounds us, even though we can't feel it. At least, I can't feel it. Neither one of us can pass through it, and it starts to get closer and closer, tighter and tighter, until both of our forms are just millimeters away from touching. Her hands dance around my face and head, and I want nothing more to wrap my arms around her. I try to, but they pass through her. Instead of being upset, Dizzy smiles, and walks into me as the mist constricts us. She steps into me, her pale blue form being overshadowed by my dark blue one.

"Hey."

Opening my eyes, I see the real Dizzy staring down at me. My light is on in my room, and I can hear voices downstairs. I don't know how long I've been sleeping, I just know I feel rested.

"You in there?"

Dizzy says, poking my forehead. I take a deep breath in, and then yawn.

"Yeah…yeah…"

"You've been sleeping for two days. Mom and dad came home early. They're worried about you."

"Huh?"

"I said you were sick. They believed me so play along or we're both dead."

"Yeah…yeah…"

I'm still trying to get my bearings. Distracted by nothing, Dizzy starts to go abut my room. Pacing, humming, being generally quirky. I'd have more appreciation for this, but getting it all together after being asleep for two days straight isn't easy.

"I tried to give you some radiation, but, it didn't work."

That grabs my attention. Innocently enough, Dizzy in her child-like manner is trying to reach for a toy car high above her on a shelf. Normally, I'd give it to her with no unusual thoughts about it. She's always been quirky and strange in that sense. Right now, getting that object for her is the last thing on my mind.

"What did you say?"

I ask, trying not to sound as worried as I am.

"Radiation. It didn't work. Just made you stink so I washed it off."

Dizzy doesn't know much about healthcare outside of slapping radiation on it. She knows _of_ Rad-Away and Rax-X, but knowing that other people need them falls short to her. She just thinks radiation is the cure for all things, even if she knows she's special by being immune to it. Radiation was her comfort object for almost anything. She's dependant on it, and wants other people to be to, even if it's harmful to them. Thing is, she thinks that I'm dependant on it, too.

"Oh…"

"Why didn't it?"

She forgets the toy and her childish mindset becomes serious. Her cheeriness was brought on by something, but right now my mind is too foggy to think straight. Instead of dealing, I try to dismiss her.

"Dizzy, I just woke up."

She stares at me, a bit unrelenting. But, finally, her face smoothes over and she nods.

"Right, I'll tell mom and dad. They want to talk to you."

Almost prancing, she leaves my room. Yawning once more, I sit up and stretch. I feel rested, but then again, I don't. My body is sore, very sore, and my head is clouded with images from my dream and other such stupid things. Sleeping for two days may sound good, but it leaves you stiff and aching. Especially since I probably tore a bunch of muscles carrying Dizzy the entire way home. In a way I envy her. Never in her life will she know what it's like to feel like this. In a matter of minutes, her consumption of any radiation can heal anything. She won't wake the next morning, sore, bruised, and exhausted. Rather in the same day she can go back to running around and causing hell wherever she wants to cause it. I wish it was that easy for me. Instead it's the ol' stimpack and gauze treatment, with lots of rest and relaxation.

Figuring I should go talk to mom and dad, I hoist myself off of my bed. My legs ache, my arms ache more, and all around I don't want to leave my bed. If I stay laying down any longer, though, I know it'll only make everything worse. My muscles need the stretching and the slight movement. Hopefully I didn't do any permanent damage. In time I'll figure it out, or whatever.

Walking down the stairs, mom, Dizzy, and dad are all in the kitchen. They see me, and instantly my parents give me a look that says I'm about to get ripped a new one. Dad looks at Dizzy while she munches loudly on a box of Sugar Bombs.

"Go upstairs."

He tells her, and she shrugs.

"Make me."

"Dizzy."

"Yes?"

"Go."

She likes to tease the fuck out of dad. I always tell her not to, but does she listen? No. Dad loves her, though. She's his favorite by far, his little girl. Most of the time their antics together are comical, but sometimes she can pick the wrong moment to start a fight or push his buttons. I get the feeling this is one of those moments.

"I want to stay."

"Dizzy, listen to your father and just go upstairs. We have to talk to your brother."

"Mo-om…"

"Diz-zy."

Mom and Dizzy on the other hand, are two peas in a pod. Childish, immature, and downright clinically insane, I'd feel terrified if I was up against them. Dizzy can't fight like mom, but she's still scary. No one knows she can't even really shoot a gun that well, and most of the time people don't want to find out. Like ma, Dizzy's got this 'femme fatale' look going for her. Pretty as she is, she's got an air of danger to her. That's something she gets from mom.

"Whatever."

She gets up and sulks up the steps, eating her Sugar Bombs the whole way. When we all hear her bedroom door slam, my parents' eyes drill into me. Without saying a word to me, I know they want me to sit. I do, and a bit fearfully I might add. Waking up to two angry parents, especially if your parents are anything like mine, is one card short of a nightmare, and half a card short of living hell. Even at twenty-two, I fear my parents. Maybe it's because of who they are. Or maybe it's because I know what they're capable of doing. Either way, I don't really care to find out.

"What's up?"

I play the stupid card, hoping I'm wrong about them being mad. Something tells me I'm spot-on, though. Mom and dad sit across from me, and the looks they give can cut right through me.

"What were you doing outside of Megaton?"

My dad asks me, and instantly fear runs in my veins. I can't imagine Dizzy would have told them, she's stupid but not that stupid. But, how else would they have found out? Mom sees the look on my face, and answers my question before I can even ask it.

"Gob saw you and Dizzy running off into the Wasteland. If you're wondering how we know, that is."

"So, what were you doing?"

Throwing Dizzy under the bus isn't in my agenda. Telling mom and dad the truth would be doing just that. So, instead, I put the blame on myself.

"Dizzy said she wanted to see the Washington Monument one day. I figured since you guys were gone, it'd be alright to take her there. We were just going there and back, I didn't mean anything wrong."

My dad folds his arms over his chest, and leans back in the chair. His armor moves with his muscles, and even though I'm the same body type, I always envied my dad's strength.

"Did you make it?"

He asks, closing his eyes. I can see the rising disappointment in his face. I'd rather him be angry with me, for putting my sister in danger. Even though really it was Dizzy who put herself in danger, I can't let them know that.

"…No. We…we got ambushed by some Raiders…and headed home after."

"I see."

"Dad…I'm twenty-two, and you both still treat me like a child. I know Dizzy isn't allowed in the Capital Wasteland, but I was with her. Everything turned out okay, and maybe…you guys should realize you can't keep both of us here forever."

"Had it been only you I wouldn't be as angry. But you put your sister in danger. She's not ready to go out there, and feeding into her childish wants will only make it worse."

My father says, opening his eyes and lighting a cigarette. I copy him, and mom sighs loudly. She's staying out of this conversation, because really…I don't think she sees the harm in letting go.

"I don't understand. Why am I allowed to leave, and she isn't? What's so bad about letting her go and explore?"

"You were trained. You understand dangers. Dizzy is young, naïve, and not ready to face what's out there. Last thing I want, is _both_ of my children running rampant. At least allow me to keep one at home."

"Charon, maybe Cain is right. Dizzy is seventeen, and even though she's still a child, she's mature enough to handle certain things. We really can't keep her cooped up here forever. Eventually she'll break out. It happens to the best of us."

"What? And you want her ending up in the same trouble as you and I?"

"No, Charon, I don't. All I'm saying, is that…she's growing up. There aren't half as many threats out there, and Super Mutant population is at its lowest. Maybe…we _should_ let her run off for a bit. At least with Cain, so she isn't alone."

"Absolutely not. She's my daughter. My _only_ daughter. I forbid it."

"And I'm your only son, dad."

Both him and my mother look at me. I can understand their worry. Knowing their story, my parents simply fear that Dizzy and I will run into the same problems and near-death incidents they did. I also understand why they're more protective of Dizzy than they are me. She's a girl, and they kept her sheltered. Whereas they know very well I can protect myself. Even without dad's training, I'd be fine. I'm his copy. Anything he can do, I can do. Just not better.

"You are. That's true. Go upstairs. I have to talk to your mother."

"Okay."

The scolding wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. At least now, they know we left and Dizzy and I won't have to lie to them. I told a white lie, really. Protecting my sister is my job, even if it is from our parents. I just sometimes wish, she wasn't my sister.

Heading up the stairs, I pass by Dizzy's door. It's open a crack, and I see her sitting on her bed. Without knocking, I push it open and poke my head through.

"Hey."

She looks at me, and shrugs.

"What'd mom and dad want?"

"They know about us running into the Wasteland."

Her face drops and I laugh a bit.

"Don't worry. I didn't tell them it was all your idea. I took the blame."

"I owe you big time now, big brother."

"Yeah you do."

She smiles at me, and lays down across her bed. Downstairs, I hear mom and dad talking but try not to eavesdrop. I can't help it.

"He's right, Charon. You know he is."

"I know but, the thought of losing them both out there…"

"I get that, I do. But he's right. We can't keep either one of them cooped up here forever. Cain is twenty-two. Dizzy will be eighteen soon. The need and drive to go out there won't be held inside much longer. It's better we let them go, and help pack their things, than wake up one morning and find them gone."

Dizzy sees me listening in, and hops off of her bed. Walking over, she pokes her head out and listens with me. Pushing my way in her room, we lie on the floor with our heads out the door. When we were little, this would be how we'd listen in on mom and dad's conversations without them seeing us from the kitchen.

"I know, Dez, I know. But you want your children to have a better life than you. I don't want them…to see and go through what we did."

"Even though it was painful, we made good memories, friends, laughs and learned from it all."

Dizzy takes my cigarette and puffs on it. We pass it back and forth. She's never heard the story of our parents, and this is new to her. She's going to have a lot of questions soon.

"We were lucky we survived all that, Dez. Too lucky. What if…they don't?"

"There's nothing left out there but Raiders and the once in a while mutant. They'll be more than fine."

"I'm just fearful."

"I know you are."

After that we hear them coming towards the stairs. Shuffling our heads in, Dizzy closes the door and we hold our breaths as mom and dad pass her room. Without thinking twice, they turn right and walk down towards their bedroom. I bet this was the last thing they wanted to come home to.

"Cain?"

She says my name quietly as we pick ourselves off of the floor. These walls are thin, and if we talk loud mom and dad will hear.

"What?"

"What did mom and dad mean by that? By what they went through?"

"Maybe…maybe you should ask them that yourself tomorrow."

She gives me a look. I don't like it too much, but there's nothing I can do about it. It's not my place to tell her the story of dad and mom. I'm sure if she'd ask, they'd tell her. Of course she'd have to explain how she found out in the first place, and they wouldn't like hearing how she eavesdropped.

Determination sets across her face, and I can't stop what comes next. Pushing me aside, Dizzy marches down towards our parents' door.

"Dizzy!"

I try to stop her, but she doesn't listen. Midway down the hall, I realize, it's time. It's time to let my little sister grow up. It's time for her to know the truth, about our parents, and maybe even, me. I watched her grow up. Watched her, held her from the time she was a fresh new baby, till now. She's become a woman, before my eyes and I never realized it. I never realized it much, until now. Seeing her so set and determined, knowing my parents won't deny her the truth anymore, makes me see…Dizzy soon won't need me anymore. She's a woman now, not a child. As much as she wants to act like one, as much as I want to keep her as my little sister…I can't anymore.

The little button nose I used to rub my own against, isn't on the face of a bundled baby anymore. Instead, it helps form and shape the beautiful face of a woman. Those small fingers that would wrap around my hand and make a fist, are now long, slender and gun-wielding. Her chubby legs grew long and lean, and her form developed into near perfection. When she was a newborn, I would hold her in my arms with mom telling me to mind her head. I wanted to crystallize her like that. Like a little child, safe in my arms. Letting her go now, off and learn the truth, shows me…I can't. I can't stop time, and I can't help but feel saddened…that I'll see the end of this life, before she even starts to peak hers. I won't be there for her. She isn't that small, innocent child anymore.

It kills me, to watch her knock on the bedroom door. The truth is so close to her mind, her ears. I stand and watch as our father opens the door, shocked to see her.

"I have to talk to you and mom."

She says to him, stern and determined. I want to stop her. I want to tell her that…that right now isn't the best time. Give it a bit. Wait. Be my little sister for just one more night. But I don't stop her. Instead, dad sees the serious look on her face, as he stares into the eyes the three of us share. She has his stubborn determination.

"About what?"

"I want to know what you and mom went through. I want to know right now."

She also has her mother's impatience. And spoiled tendencies. Dad looks at her, shocked, but not surprised.

"You heard us talking?"

"Damn right. And I want to know the truth. I want to hear it. What have you been hiding, dad? Mom are you in there?"

"Yeah, I'm in here."

Mom and dad leave their bedroom. Dad puts his arm around Dizzy, and his eyes meet mine. I want to tell him I have nothing to do with this, but there's no need. He knows. He knew this time would come, and just like me, he doesn't want to see her grow up. Mom follows behind, a bit more accepting of the situation. If anything, she looks hopeful. That maybe, Dizzy will somehow follow in her footsteps. I'm not sure, why mom would hope for that, but it just seems that way. Like the freedom mom so enjoyed and loved, the adventures she had, can finally be passed down to Dizzy. I follow behind mom, and we all go into the kitchen. I want this to end well, but…I'm not sure it can.

I lean against the wall, as mom and dad regale Dizzy with their life story. They're trying to, anyways. But, Dizzy is less than amused about the entire situation. She sits silently, listening intently to our parents, and lighting a cigarette here and there. It's a long story to tell, and they're not leaving out any details. Even though, they laugh as they tell it, Dizzy remains silent as ever. She pierces them with her eyes, and I can tell her anger is rising as their story gets deeper and deeper. I have no reaction to what mom and dad say. I've heard it all so many times before. Instead, I watch Dizzy, and only Dizzy.

Her face remains the same, with anger bubbling just below the surface. As mom and dad near the end of their tale, I notice…they left me out of it. They skipped the part, where they found me. Failed to mention, where I came from and how I came to be. I think maybe, they might have done this, to hold on to the last shred of shelter they have for Dizzy. I'm not sure, if it's a good thing or not.

"…And…then you were born. And we live here, now."

Mom says to Dizzy, sighing as if the weight of the world has been taken off her shoulders. In a way it has. For seventeen years we've tip-toed around the subject. Hiding it from Dizzy, failing to mention it, making sure we did all we could to keep it tucked away. Now, after so long, it's finally free. Dad and mom watch Dizzy, hoping to get a good reaction. Hoping to hear acceptance and praise, but, Dizzy says nothing. Standing up, she glares at them, throwing her arms down at her sides in anger.

"You _lied_ to me!"

She yells, and I'm taken aback by the outburst. Mom and dad are too, and they stand, almost to challenge her.

"Dizzy, we didn't lie. We simply never told you. There's a difference."

"There is _no_ difference, mom! Not telling me is the same as lying! How…how could you keep all of this from me? Is this all why everyone here treats you like fucking royalty?"

They don't answer. It only makes Dizzy more mad, and she turns to face me.

"And _you_!"

She storms over, tears in her eyes. She points a menacing finger in my face, cornering me against the wall I was leaning on.

"_You_ knew all along, didn't you?"

I don't know what to say to her. I didn't think she'd be this upset, really. I knew she'd feel angry, but this? This is an entirely different level of anger than I'd ever thought to expect. I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. Looking away, at the floor, the look on my face tells her all she needs to know. She gives me a hard shove against the wall, even though I'm already against it. In fury, Dizzy lets out a frustrated groan, and storms away. Mom, me, and dad watch her as she stands near the front door.

"I hate all of you! All of you!"

Without any other word, she leaves. My first instinct is to chase her, but dad stops me.

"Cain. Wait."

I turn to look at my dad. How could he tell me to wait? Dizzy is upset, she's emotional, and now all alone. Hearing this entire story changes everything about her. All she ever knew, all she ever believed things to be, her entire life is different now, and he wants me to wait.

"Dad, she needs me."

I sound like a child. The child I was before, when I would hold Dizzy's hand as we ran up and down the ramps of Megaton together, and through the vegetable gardens. She needs me right now, just like she did in those days.

"Cain, right now she needs to be alone. This is a lot of new information for her, and she needs to digest it."

For the first time, my dad is wrong about something. He didn't see Dizzy cry the other night. Didn't watch her writher in pain at the hands of three Raiders. Didn't carry her clear across the Wasteland because she was too injured to walk. Only I know, the Dizzy that she hides. The Dizzy that no one else sees. And I know, that Dizzy needs me right now, even if she and everyone else denies it. I'm her brother, I'm the only one she can talk to. It's been my responsibility my entire life, and regretfully I've simply denied that responsibility for a few years. I have to make it up to her. I have to chase her.

"Exactly, dad. She needs me."

I don't stick around to hear anymore of their arguments. This is their fault, you know. If they had just told Dizzy the truth from the very start, then…then she wouldn't feel like this. I mean, I know why they kept it from her. I know that, they wanted to protect her and keep her out of the Wasteland until she was ready. But…still. I can't help but sort of take her side. Mom and dad should have told her. They should have played both sides. Told her the truth, and kept her safe. At least made a deal with her, that she couldn't leave Megaton until some sort of age. But they didn't do any of that. Instead, they told her the entire story in a few short hours, and let her run off because they think she needs to 'be alone'. Mom, dad…I know you tried but…I can't let her be alone right now. She needs me. I can feel it.


	8. Chapter 8

I find Dizzy on top of a tall hill on the edge of town. When we were little, we'd come to this hill and watch the sunset. Dad and mom would come, too, and dad would tell us stories about the stars. It overlooks the entire town, the gardens, grass, homes and animals. Dizzy, for some reason, always retreated here when she felt lonely. When the world didn't make sense, and things began to change. Times, like now. I look at her from the bottom of the hill, as she sits on top of it. Her back is to me, and she's curled into a small, meek ball. The stars light up the night sky, in a way romantic lovers would swoon at. The moon is bright, and far away, casting a shadow across everything. I smile at Dizzy's silhouette, happy she ran here, and nowhere else.

Slowly, I climb the hill. Dizzy makes no movement to turn around, and I suspect she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that again, her brother chased her. Taking a seat beside her, Dizzy has her head pressed into her knees.

"Diz?"

She sniffs, muffled by her legs.

"Go away."

I smirk at her, even if she can't see it. I can't pretend to understand what she's going through right now. But, against the backdrop of a clear, warm, beautiful night, I can't help but feel peaceful. Leaning back on my palms, I look at my sister and try to make sense of the world for her.

"…Mom and dad should have told you sooner."

"Shut up."

"Diz, you can talk to me."

"No, I can't."

She picks up her head and looks at me. I see her tear-stained face, and it hits me. She feels betrayed by not just our parents, but me. The smile fades from my face, and I look away from her. I wanted so much, to earn her trust again. Wanted us to be close like we use to. I should have known, that was nothing more than a stupid pipe dream.

"You kept it from me just like they did."

"…I know."

"I thought I could talk to you about anything."

"You can."

"Not anymore. What else are you hiding? What else is there I don't know?"

I should tell her. Should tell her where I come from. But I can't. It wells up and sticks like an uncomfortable lump in my throat. I push myself off of my palms, and lean forward with my hands in my lap.

"…There…isn't anything else."

It's a blatant lie, but at this point, she won't ever find out. She won't…discover the truth about me. Somehow, I think that's best. I think it's better, she doesn't know the last bit of dirty laundry we have. After all, when it comes time to go our separate ways, it's better she still thinks of me as her brother, and not a freak of nature.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep it from me? I thought…I could trust you. My entire life…has been one big stupid lie."

"No, Diz, it hasn't. Knowing mom and dad's past doesn't change anything."

"Yes it _does_."

I raise an eyebrow as I look at her.

"How so?"

Frustrated, she wipes tears from her eyes. Her beauty in this pale moonlight, overthrows me. I'm forced to look away from her. I can't…stand to see her in such a distress.

"Because now…now I know. I know, where these urges to run and be wild come from. I thought I was a freak. I thought I was born and raised by two regular people. But I wasn't. I _wasn't_. I knew I was special, different, but I didn't know _how_, and now this? This…explains everything."

"Shouldn't that be a good thing, then?"

She shakes her head.

"No. It isn't, because…I didn't want to find out this way. I didn't want mom and dad to shelter me. They let me think I was some sort of freak of nature. That these feelings of wanting to see the world, that these ambitions were wrong. I've…always had the urge to…run away and find out everything. I just didn't know, it was because it was in my blood."

"They were trying to protect you."

"From what? And why me? Why not you, too?"

"They made a lot of enemies. If anyone found out who you were…you'd be in danger. And…I guess you and not me because…I'm just a boy, is all."

I'm trying to be as honest with her as I possibly can. But without letting on to who I really am, it's hard.

"…I thought…mom and dad…met by chance and fell in love. I didn't know dad was a contract killer."

"That part is hard to digest, I won't lie."

"I didn't know he was brute strength and skill. That's where I get it from. Why I'm stronger than most girls. I…didn't know and…all this time I thought I was…a freak."

"You're not a freak, Dizzy. You're the offspring of the two strongest people in the Capital Wasteland. I know that this is hard for you, but you should feel so proud of it. Because mom and dad saved this stupid land for you."

"…You're their offspring, too."

No. No, I'm not. But I…still can't find it in me to tell her. Looking at her, I watch fresh tears well in her eyes. It hurts me, to see her in so much pain, but I know there's nothing I can do.

"I thought you were different, too. That...I don't know. I can't explain it. That you were…I don't know."

I never want to see her unhappy. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close to me. I hold her, as she sobs.

"I…I thought you were…that we…I don't know…I don't know _any_thing anymore…"

I should have known this would happen. Dizzy, seems to always have had some sort of feeling or notion that I wasn't who I claimed to be. But with mom and dad omitting that part from their story, she has nothing to lean on. All she can do, is accept that I'm her sibling. I think…really, she's more upset about that than anything else.

"It'll be alright, Dizzy."

Her small hands wrap around my shirt, as her weight is placed on the tail of my jacket. Lifting her head, she looks at my face with bleary eyes.

"…I can't stay here."

I understand. I know, now that since she knows the truth, Dizzy will want to find her own place in the Capital Wasteland, just like mom and dad did. She'll want to find where she belongs, even if she belongs back in Megaton, she has to find it out on her own. It's time for me to let my little sister go, and it's time to let go all of the feelings I've kept inside of me for so long. I find tears in my own eyes, as I hug her again, holding her close. I want to hide my face from her, but it hurts. It hurts me, to know that by this time tomorrow, she might just be gone. I knew this would come, I just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

"Mom and dad…they'll let you go now."

"How do you know?"

She says as she lifts her head.

"…Because they will. You're a woman now, Dizzy. You're more than capable of doing it, now that you know the truth. You'll be safer, stronger, knowing that two of the lands best fighters are your parents."

There's light in her eyes, as she realizes now the whole world is laid out for her. She can travel where she wants, fight who she wants, and find out the same things mom and dad did. Have her own adventures, have her own life. She doesn't have to stay in Megaton anymore. The hope I had, of keeping her my close and dear sister, was shattered tonight by her own stubborn curiosity.

"I'm not a freak, for wanting to leave Megaton, am I?"

"No, Dizzy, you're not."

At this, Dizzy smiles. She pulls away from me, and puts her hands in her lap. I notice the gun on her hip, and wonder if she was planning on leaving if I hadn't followed her.  
"I can survive on my own, can't I?"

"Yeah, you can."

"And…and I can fight better than most people, can't I?"

"Sure can."

"And you…what about you?"

I shrug, glad that she's happy, but still feeling hurt inside.

"What about me?"

"Will you come too? Will you come, and keep me safe, and…see it all with me?"

I look away from her, and sigh. As much…as I've wanted to get out of this town, I can't go with her. It'll only be nothing but a tease, and the want to tell her the truth about who I am will boil up and over. Then, if she hears the news out there, what'll happen? She'll run away in anger like she did tonight, and I won't know where to look. It's too much of a risk. I have…to let my sister go and explore on her own. I have to let her grow up, even if it means tossing her to the dangers with no protection.

"…No. I have to stay here, and be with mom and dad. They'll want one of us to stay behind."

Disappointment crosses her face, but she accepts it. Looking at the ground, and then to the sky, she smiles a bit.

"Yeah. I don't want my stupid brother to…be a burden and watch my every movement anyways."

"I'd just get in the way of your fun."

"Yeah. I guess."

Dizzy stands up, and offers me her hand. I take it and with surprising strength, she pulls me up with her. Smiling up at me, she gives me a hug.

"I…was stupid to think, you were anyone else aside from my brother."

"What do you mean?"

"It's stupid but…I always thought…we weren't I don't know, siblings. Like…you were…I don't know. I'm stupid, I guess."

She's not stupid. She's the smartest human being I've ever come across. Thing is, she has no idea how smart she really is. I want to tell her, that it'll all be alright. One day, she'll wake up and know. Just know who she is and not have to cry or worry anymore. That she'll be able to survive and endure whatever this world throws at her. But I can't tell her. I can't tell her, because there are some things people have to discover on their own. Dizzy is lucky, because she's surrounded by love. She has a small net of support, family to rely on. Although mom, dad and myself are there, she has to realize it all on her own. If I simply tell her, it won't mean half as much as it would, if she learned it on her own.

"You're not stupid, Diz. You just…didn't know."

Her blue eyes burn holes into mine as she stares at me. Sometimes I wonder which parent she gets her intensity from. My father, silent as he is, has an overbearing presence. He walks around, and people move from his path. They don't do that for me, even though we're the same size. I know it's not from strength or height, but instead from the way he holds and presents himself. My mother, our mother, has the same effect. Only, she's hardly quiet. People still move aside, and they watch their words very carefully, when they're around.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

"...If dad was a hired killer, someone with no emotions, someone…made to make life so deadly and horrible for whomever he had to kill…why didn't he kill mom?"

When mom told Dizzy the story, she didn't go into too much emotional detail. She simply told Dizzy that after a time, her and dad fell in love. There was no explanation, no detail, just that they did. As much as I know the story, I only know my mother's side. I don't know how dad was able to feel anything, especially something like love, especially for someone like my mom. In her younger years, I hear she was quite the bitch. A heart of gold sometimes, but a merciless bitch most of the time.

"I really don't know that. Ask dad, maybe he'll tell you."

"Dad doesn't tell me anything. But at least it makes sense to me now, why everyone is scared of him."

"Yeah I'd be scared of him too if I didn't know him."

"He's a ghoul, though, was he always?"

I nod my head at her, but then I shrug.

"When mom and dad met, he was a ghoul. I don't know when exactly he turned, I never asked."

"So…mom had to look past the ghoul features to fall in love with dad then?"

"Apparently."

"What does dad look like with real people features?"

I smirk as she says 'real people'. Her childish ways of describing things never ceased to amuse me. Then, I realize I know all too well, the answer to her question.

"…Like…me, I guess."

Without trying to give too much away, I answer her question. Dizzy takes my hand and stands up. I hold her hand in mine, and realize how small it is. It would be easy, for someone, anyone, to break her bones. She's so petite, even I feel like I'll hurt her if I hold her hand too tightly. In silence, we stare at the moon as it looms over us. Round, perfectly circular, it casts a foreshadowing glow down on us. Together, compared to the size of our own world, and the worlds that lie beyond human reach, Dizzy and I are both small. Insignificant to everything, and just two people in a mass hysteria of many.

I think of a song, that my mother would hum to me on the nights Dizzy and I couldn't sleep. She was too young at the time to remember, but I do. I remember, loving the sound of my mother's calm and musical voice. Her face was in peace, as Dizzy rocked in her arms, while I laid in my bed. I can't remember the words, but the tune, fits the mood of the scene I find myself in.

Dizzy and I stand atop the highest hill near Megaton. In the distance, the city ruins are illuminated by the moon, and below us, the growing town we were raised in sleeps. There's no limit, to this world. Only the horizon, which is only where our eyes can't see any further. The sky meets the land there, but if you walk to it you'll find it doesn't end. Dizzy now has all of that at the tips of her fingers. Tomorrow, maybe the day after, maybe even tonight, she'll leave this town and go find what's out there. I may never see my sister again. I may never be able, to look at her as the moon lights up her features, a perfect mixture of both her mother and father. Looking at her, I realize…how wrong I've been. How mistaken I was, for my entire life.

Dizzy was never meant, to stay here. She was never meant to be bred, born and raised and die in this town. Her eyes shine with hopes, desires, want of adventures and dangers. Created from the two most popular, feared, and respected members of the Capital Wasteland, it would be an insult to have her stay here. As much…as I've always secretly wanted her to stay here, to grow old here, I know it won't happen. I know that it would be wrong, and similar to caging a wild animal. She has no idea, what she's capable of doing. No idea what will come to her, and no idea of anything that awaits her. I think it's that mystery…that drives her to want to run free. She deserves to be free.

And…and me? I'm just a cheap imitation, of an admirable man. I have no needs to leave, no wants. I can say I'm curious, but the drive that Dizzy has, I lack. To me, time slips by and I don't mind it much. I'm not eager or yearning for freedom. If anything, when I wanted to leave it was only to find my purpose. There is no purpose for me. I am a copy, and not meant to be a person with drives, desires or needs and wants. All I am, is a stationary being, in a ever-moving world. Tears form in my eyes, as I realize a small truth of my being. I won't ever feel what others feel. Won't ever get the chance to lead a normal life, or whatever is considered normal out here. Love will escape me, and the only thing I'll be able to truly know the feeling of, is protecting someone else. For so long, that someone else has been Dizzy. But…what will happen, when she leaves? Who then, will I protect?

My mother has my father. I don't care much, for anyone else. Was I meant to feel such ties to Dizzy, because she is a product of my mother, just as I am a copy of my father? Because dad fell in love with mom, am I meant to forever be tormented by the image and memory of a woman I can never have or ever hold? I was created, because they wanted a copy of the worlds most perfect and precise killer. Not to feel. Not to grow and live as a normal being. Only, to protect and serve. …What will happen to me, when I have no one to protect, and no one to serve?

"Hey, Cain?"

I blink and realize Dizzy is staring back at me. How stupid must I have looked, just staring at her like a dog caught stealing table scraps?

"Uh…yeah?"

"Let's go home. Mom and dad must be worried."

I nod and put my arm around her shoulder. Guiding her down the hill, I know she's excited. Excited about being able to leave, about being able to grow on her own, and learn and feel a slew of new things. I can't say, I feel the same. When she's here, beside me, the stars hardly shine as bright. When we're together, and she's beside me, I don't feel as empty as I usually do. I didn't know how empty I did feel for these past few years, until she came back to me. Our bond, I guess, truly is a lot different than regular siblings. Somehow, we both know that. She squeezes my hand as it drapes over her left shoulder, and I look down at her. Dizzy returns my glance with a smile.

I feel my heart beat faster. When she returns to Megaton, I'll hold her close. Like I never have before. I'll greet her, overjoyed with her safe return, and exhilarated at her return to me. It's selfish to think she'll only come back for me, but I want to. I want to believe, against all odds, Dizzy feels something more for me than she lets on. That somehow, against everything in this world, there's a shot at something. Something I can't place my finger on, but hopefully, we both know it.

"I'm going to miss you."

There's no need to pretend, you know. No need to act like I don't know she's going to take off at the first chance she gets. I can't look at her anymore, so instead I pretend to be distracted at something going on behind the vegetable stand. There's really nothing there, but I act like there is so I don't have to look at her. At my words, she squeezes my hand a bit tighter as we continue to walk towards our house. I wish I had my smokes on me. I wish I wasn't out of them. I could use the distraction.

"…I'm going to miss you, too. It feels like…we just started to get close again and now…"

"You know Dizzy you don't have to go."

Before I even finish talking, I already regret saying it. Dizzy needs to go out and explore and grow on her own. Me making her feel bad for doing that, is wrong. I shake my head and look at the ground.

"I…didn't mean it like that. I just…meant that I'll really miss you. I want you to go and have fun out there."

I tell her, feeling ashamed. I'm not the reason she sleeps at night, and I'm not the reason she wakes every morning. I have to stop putting her on a pedestal, and I have…I have to move on. This small change, will help the both of us discover ourselves without the other around. Two separate beings, instead of one. I'm not sure what I'll do to pass the time, but I'll find something. I always find something.

"I know what you meant. But…maybe this'll be good, ya know? Maybe the two of us can find…other people to be close to. After all, we can't _always_ be stuck together."

She says to me, and even though she's smiling, I can't help but hear a bit of pain in her voice. I feel that pain, deeper than anyone else.

"Yeah."

As we get to our house, we see dad sitting outside in a chair. Beside him a small table with a beer and his cigarettes. His eyes meet mine, and I realize for the first time, I need his advice. I've never asked advice from him, aside from how to fight or shoot a gun, but this time…I think he's the best person to turn to.

"I'll catch you inside. I'm going to talk to dad."

I tell Dizzy, and she nods. I notice as she goes inside, she smiles at dad. It's late, but…dad stayed awake for a reason. I think he knew, I'd need him.


	9. Chapter 9

I find a spare chair, and sit next to him. Pointing to his cigarettes, I sigh.

"Can I bum one?"

Without saying anything, he nods and takes a sip of his beer. My dad, like I said, is strong and silent. He'll talk to me, but I have to start conversation. It's hard, when I don't know what to say. To buy myself some time, I light my cigarette slowly, gathering courage.

"I need advice."

I blurt out, leaning back in my chair. He looks at me, and for some reason I feel a bit easier talking with him.

"On what?"

"…I don't know. Everything. Life, I guess."

"Can't advise you on life. It just happens."

I knew that answer was coming. I nod in agreement, trying to find the words to describe how I feel. It's hard, when I don't even know how I'm feeling. Sad I suppose, a bit lost maybe. Is it normal to feel this way?

"…How'd you fall in love with mom?"

It's more of my own curiosity that stems the question. I want to know how it was possible for someone a hair short of an android could learn to feel. Learn, how to care about another human being, as much as he cares for my mom. Over the years, their love never faded or dwindled and the arguments were scarce. Something you don't really see these days, or something that comes after a lifetime of switching partners. I want to know, what the hell makes them so in love with one another.

"What do you mean?"

"Dad you…you were ya know, someone not really able to feel. And then mom comes along and basically fucks your life up. How? I mean…weren't you stuck in your ways?"

Dad laughs, as if I've just said something completely hilarious to him. I didn't think it was that funny.

"Ah…she did come in and fuck things up, if that's how you want to put it. But I didn't wake up one day and suddenly feel things, if that's what you're asking."

"It is."

"Well, that didn't happen. It took time, patience, and a lot of doubt. You see, you mother slowly began to rely on me. She was a loner, and never really had anyone to depend on. My services at the time allowed her to have a reliable pillar to lean on. Perhaps not for anything emotional or physical in a sexual way, but instead for safety. My offering of security in that sense allowed her to become dependant on me in other ways."

"What do you mean?"

My father looks at me, and I'm reminded of things I want to forget.

"As events happened and unfolded before our eyes, Dezbe realized I was someone she could talk to. It didn't matter, if I talked back or even comforted her, all that mattered was my presence. Over time, and being there in her emotional stresses, I began to develop…a different sense of protection than I had felt for people before her."

"I don't really understand. You got close to mom, because she depended on you? Didn't all your workers depend on you?"

"Yes but not for emotional needs. Dezbe, provided me with the feeling of equality as well as a good, witty argument here and there. Also, she made me feel as if to her, I mattered as something more than a simple bodyguard. Myself at the time had never faced things like that, emotions and feelings. I had never felt needed in that way. With her, I was needed in every way possible. So, over time, I started to look at her as something more of an employer. I didn't know how to show it then, so often I protected her more and became more openly aggressive towards other people. That stemmed into admiration, and grew into love. It's a long and complicated thing, really."

My father had to learn things, just as a child needs to learn to walk. He didn't know how to differentiate, the feelings of love from the feelings of protection, and instead lumped them into the same ball. Maybe that's why even now, it's hard for him to show anything for other people, except my mom. He simply never knew how, and his training is so deeply embedded in his mind that he may never know. But, he did learn. He learned to love my mom.

"What about other girls?"

"Oh, there were others. But, none of them handled me like your mother, and I never loved them like your mother. Sure I enjoyed the company, but, if there ever was a woman who could turn a marble statue into a man, it's Dezbe. As much as I enjoy being open with you, kid, I can't help but wonder why you came to me. Something…wrong?"

He isn't stupid. His tone is suspicious and he knows something. I don't know what he knows, but I do understand and respect he's better than me at figuring shit out.

"…I don't know, really. I'm not sure what's wrong, only that something is. I think I get this from you. Not knowing how or why I feel things."

"No, you get that from being a person."

I look at him, the man I was meant to be, and sigh. I don't understand much about this world. I've only been outside Megaton once, and it failed horribly. Both my mother and my father lived out here, and traveled this land so much that they know everything about it. Every rock, boulder, cliff and decrepit home. I don't understand why people do certain things, or why I feel so different from the rest of the world. Maybe I'm not meant to. Maybe it's all the inexperience I have. After all, when you stay in one place for your entire life, you tend to be sheltered. My parents didn't hide their past from me, like they did with Dizzy, but I also wasn't able to go out of the town. I missed out on a lot of things, I think. Things that maybe, would have helped mold me into a better person.

"Cain?"

My father calls my name, and I blink, snapping myself out of my stupor.

"There's a lot of bad and terrible things, beyond the boundaries of Megaton. Things, that made your mother and myself shake with fear. But, in a strange way, those horrible things brought us closer together. Allowed us to appreciate and trust one another in a way not many can understand. I can't pretend to know what's bothering you, or pretend to relate, but I can assure you one day, things will make sense."

"Will it be better?"

"That's up to you, son."

I stare down at my cigarette, and take a drag of it. I'm trying not to think of Dizzy leaving, trying not to think about the nights that will soon come, where I'll be too busy worrying about her to sleep.

"…How can you call me your son, when you know what I am?"

Charon, my 'father' looks at me. It's almost like he's hurt, but whatever emotion that crossed his face is gone in an instant. I look back at him, knowing if I fell victim to radiation, I'd look just like him.

"I raised you. Fed you. Clothed you. Bathed you at times when you were fussy. Spent endless minutes around you."

"Yeah…yeah I know…I just…don't feel like…you're really my father. Not in that way, I mean it's…I'm _you_. I wasn't born. I wasn't made from two people who loved one another. I just…_am_."

"I knew this day would come."

"What?"

My father stands up. He stretches and grabs his shotgun from his feet. Without saying anything to me, he opens the front door to our house and calls my mother out. I thought she was sleeping, but as I watch her come to the doorway, I know I'm wrong, obviously.

"Cain and I will be back later tonight."

He tells her, kissing the top of her head. She must understand something I don't, because of the look she gives him.

"Tonight is pretty emotional for both of them, Charon. Don't be too brazen."

"Where's Dizzy?"

"She's in the living room, where I was. She's drilling me for answers, Charon and it's really annoying."

They chuckle together, and then they kiss. Mom goes back inside, and my father turns to face me. He motions his head to follow him, and begins to walk without waiting. Ever since I was brought here, my father has always walked ahead of everyone. Waiting only for my mother, and leaving everyone else behind. I don't think he means to do it, I simply think it's how he walks. Catching up to him isn't hard for me. Our strides are the same. I keep pace with his, and a cool night breeze catches me off guard. I've never walked with him too far out of Megaton, and now as we slowly grow further and further away from it, I see a change within him.

His face relaxes, and his body looks more at ease. As if being inside the invisible limits of Megaton is stressful to him. Out here, as we walk and walk in silence, with each growing step he relaxes more and more. Was he, like my mother, so obsessed with being free, that now having to stay in one place is stressful?

"You must realize Cain, that out here nothing is as it seems."

Feeling like channeling my inner wit and humor, I point to the ground.

"That's dirt."

One step ahead as always, my father shakes his head. Bending down, he picks up what I was pointing at.

"This is ash, and remnants of the Great War."

"Great War?"

I've only ever heard about it. The war that destroyed the world, and made the Capital Wasteland into what it is today.

"Yes. Have I ever told you about it?"

"How old are you, really?"

"More than three-hundred years. I've seen a lot in my time."

I'm floored. I knew dad was old, but to be _that_ old?

"One of the last pre-war ghouls to still be living."

"You…you must have seen a lot…I had no idea. I didn't know."

"Everything I have seen, is nothing in relation to what I've learned from it."

"What do you mean?"

We walk aimlessly, but I think dad has some sort of direction. I think, being out here, makes it easier for him to talk to me, and in his own way…help me figure out why I feel this way, and what to do about it. I don't even know anymore, what I feel. At this point, I'm just numb.

"I've learned things, most people never get the chance to understand or even witness."

"Like what?"

"Like what is most important in ones life."

He lights a cigarette, and hands me one. I've never had a heart-to-heart with him before, and I'm curious to see how it goes.

"Family, friends, surviving."

"No, Cain. Family is a general term, and most friends will abandon you or be the fastest runner. You're lucky, to have one or two decent people to rely on in your lifetime. In my own lifetime, really. What's important in life, is following your desires."

"I don't understand you. You're speaking in like, riddles."

"You mother and I were hated as soon as we came into the open about our relations. Also, by becoming open, we were both in danger. Our enemies knew our weak points."

"But you didn't stop."

"No, and it got us into a lot of trouble as you know. Many times, people would pit us against one another. A simple kiss between your mother and I, made almost fifteen years of turmoil and challenges."

"And was it worth it in the end?"

My father nods, strong enough to admit to the woman he loves, that he loves her. Most men act tough, insensitive and badass out here. As admirable as it is, nothing is more admirable to me than the love portion of my parents' story.

"Every bit was worth it. I learned, in all the time spent with her, and still spending, that despite what the world thinks, to continue on with how you feel. Regardless, people are going to hate and disagree, you can't avoid that. The sooner you learn it, the better off you'll be."

I look at the ground, side-stepping a protruding rock.

"What if…your desires don't agree with anything at all? What if…they're that vile?"

"Nothing is that vile, Cain. What's vile…is letting go of your desires, out of fear."

"Says you. I know the story, dad. You and mom…always had someone supporting you."

"No. There were times, when Dezbe and I had nobody. There were times when I was so scared I couldn't move. I never showed it, because I had to be strong for her. But don't say, that things for us were easy."

We come to a steep cliff. There's an old and worn pathway leading up, and my father looks at it with familiarity. No one else in the world would know about this pathway it seems, but he does. I look at him, as he stares at the path.

"This leads, to the place your mother came from. Follow that road, and it'll lead to where you came from. Where I came from."

"What are you saying?"

"It doesn't matter, _how_ one was created. Only that they were. And I learned in my existence, that eventually, there's meaning in ones creation."

"But _my_ meaning was to be like you a…a contract killer."

"That's what I also believed. And yet…it wasn't."

I look at him, clad in his leather armor. He's always worn that armor. My parents, over the years, very rarely changed. They're still exactly as I remember them to be, when I first met them so many years ago. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. I just know they're consistent.

"When I learned, how much more there was to life, I realized how what I was created to be, was not what I had to be. That even though my training was and still is so deeply embedded in my mind, it was all I knew how to do, there was no one telling me anymore, that I simply had to do it."

"No one's told me I had to be anything."

"But you were created to be something, Cain. Isn't that why you came to talk to me? Simply because you cannot figure out your purpose if your purpose is not what you were made for?"

"…Yeah…and other things."

"You'll find in time what your purpose is. I can't tell you what it is, because I don't know. Perhaps you'll figure it out when you take Dizzy into the Wasteland. Do me a favor, and show her this if you have the chance. Where her mother came from."

Wait. Pause that. Did he just say _I _had to take Dizzy out here? Isn't she supposed to go on her own on some stupid soul-searching mission? My dad sees the confusion and a bit of shock on my face, and smiles. He pats my back and we begin the slow and long walk back home. This time, the conversation gearing towards things a bit more important.

"You didn't assume we'd let Dizzy run around out here all on her own, did you?"

"Well sort of, yes."

"You could both use the experience. I talked about it with your mother. She was against it but I convinced her."

"What? How? I mean, why?"

He looks at me, and I know…I know he knows something.

"You're close to her. You're all that reckless girl has. As much as your mother wants to deny it, I can't help but see us, when I look at you two."

"Dad?"

"You are a copy of myself. Dizzy's personality is more like her mother's than I've ever seen before. I trust…that you will keep her safe. In fact, I am convinced you will. Both me and your mother will rest easier with you with her."

"Dad, how do you know this? I know…we're the same but our personalities, interests, those can and are different. I'm not saying I won't go…but…how can you trust me?"

I'm elated inside. I know I shouldn't be. I know I should be angry that in a sense I still have to hold my sister's hand, but…more time with her, while we're still young…is all I want.

"Gob saw you returning to Megaton. Not that he's spying on you, but our home and his shop is close. Cain, no one would have carried your sister to safety as you did. Both your mother and I knew you weren't sick. You put your own self in danger, whatever that danger was, to protect your sister. Those traits, we share."

"Any brother would have done the same…"

"But you are not her brother and still you did it."

His voice and tone is firm and stern. Almost like he's scolding me. We stop walking, and I stare at my father. This man, knows a lot more than he wants to tell me. Somehow, I've never felt more at ease with that, though. Like he's the one person in this world who will understand. He knows my complications, knows that I am not Dizzy's brother and yet we still share the same genetic makeup. In some way, I think he also understands what I'm battling on the inside.

"…I couldn't leave her there. Dad, if you were there, if it was mom…"

"I would have done the exact same thing. And I have, many times. I have carried your mother to safety, I have spent hours and days with no sleep, worrying of her well being and if she would survive. And I have hunted down and killed every person who dared cause that woman harm."

Defeated, I sit down on a rock. My father sits beside me, and I hang my head. He won't punish me, for leaving Megaton. Maybe, he'll even relate to what I was feeling, when Dizzy was in such danger.

"…You…you weren't there, dad. I didn't…know what to do. It was…Raiders."

"Raiders?"

I nod my head, feeling responsible because in a way, I am.

"They were the kids from…from where I was made. They…I don't even remember now, because I was so angry. But dad they attacked her to get to me. I didn't even know who they were. I didn't…have any idea what was going on. And then I saw her there and she was all sorts of wounded and…and…"

"You lost control."

"Yeah. Yeah…I did and…I killed two people."

"Two? How many of them were there?"

"Three. Three and I let one go. I…I never knew I could do what I did. I didn't think…"

My father sighs, and I hear the burning of the paper that wraps around his cigarette as he takes a deep breath in.

"You did what you had to do."

"But…they…they almost _killed_ her."

"And that's why you need to go with her. Because you need to protect her."

I look at him, and I run my fingers through my hair.

"It…it wasn't just that…that made me so angry, though. There's…more to it."

He sighs, deeply, and stands up. He makes no motion to leave, or to keep walking, and instead just stares at me. His stare, for the first time, doesn't scare me. It doesn't make me feel small, or unimportant. Instead, when I look back at the man I've come to know as my father, I feel comfort and safety. As if the parental bonds I was never able to have as an infant are suddenly given to me, and the man in front of me is the giver. I may be twenty-two, past the age of adulthood, and yet I still struggle with childish immaturities, questions, and struggles. I bow my head, as I drag my cigarette. Images of Dizzy flood my mind, and the memory of her in pain makes my stomach churn.

"…You don't…understand what it's like…to see her like that. To…see her in pain like that. They…she…she called for me and I _wasn't_ _there_, dad. I…I almost…didn't make it…and…"

Tears and silent sobs stop my sentence. I look at my hand, and realize it's wet. I feel my father's hand on my shoulder, and I lift my head. I don't feel like less of a man, for crying in front of him. I have a feeling, he's cried in front of my mother many times.

"I do understand…how it feels to not be there, when the one person you're close to need you. I understand it more than you can know, son."

"…Do you know how it feels…to know everything you've felt is wrong?"

"Yes, I do."

"What do I do then, dad? I don't…I don't even…know what I'm feeling. I don't know anything…about…this."

He squeezes my shoulder, and gives me a pained look. Behind him, far off in the distance, the sky lights up like fire. Somewhere, someone blew something up. We hear no sound, until a few moments later. My dad turns to see, and his hand falls from his shoulder.

"…That is something I can offer no advice on. You have to do, whatever makes you happy."

"Have you ever…felt…"

"I've felt many things, Cain. I've felt things I had no idea I was even capable of feeling, but the bottom line, whether I liked them or not, was that I felt them. Despite what may come to be, what may happen, take pride and comfort, in the fact you felt them."

I stand up, knowing my father can't give me any more advice than he already has. We stand eye-to-eye, head-to-head. Same everything, I am his exact copy. He looks at me, with familiar eyes. The same eyes I see whenever I look at myself in the mirror.

"You are me, in more ways than you understand, but you are still your own person. You control what happens with the life you are given. It doesn't matter, how you were made, Cain. Only that you have one life. And it's yours to live."


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, mom and dad leave for town. They have business to attend to, and plan on coming home later this evening with supplies for mine and Dizzy's excursion into the Wasteland. Tonight, will be the last night we eat as a family, and when it's done both of us will head out into the never-ending vastness that our parents stalked so many years before. Last night, when I told Dizzy that I was going to go with her, she didn't react like I initially thought.

At first, I was expecting some sort of tantrum. Expected her to continue to argue with our parents about it, even though it was very late by the time dad and I returned home. But she didn't. She sat on my bed with me, silent as ever, and thought about it. When she was done thinking, she looked at me and smiled. She said, that with all she'd heard in a single night, she was happy I was being forced to tag along. Because then at least she'd have someone to talk to, and confide in. I didn't tell her I wasn't being forced, and instead let her believe I was. I'm not sure, what's really worse in this situation. Me being happy about spending more time with my sister, or knowing that time will ultimately be my downfall in the long run. I don't know how it will be, but I can just simply feel it.

As for right now, I'm smoking a morning cigarette I flinched off of dad before he and mom left for the day. It's a warm morning, as most mornings are in this desert-like climate. I don't want to leave my house, and I don't want to really do anything. It'll be the last time I see home for a while. Not sure really, how long that while is, but it'll be more than a month I know that. Dizzy, on the other hand, is still sleeping. She can't sleep like this in the Wasteland, but, I figure I'll let it slide today. Tonight she won't have a bed to call her own.

I should be pretty excited right now. Should be happy, to be going out into the Wasteland with my sister, with no supervision, no parents, and the world at our fingertips. Dad says it's an experience that can't be compared to anything. That…whatever happens out there will ultimately bring Dizzy and I closer together. Yet…here I am, lump in chest, wondering why I'm not leaping for joy. Maybe it was last night, and the talk I had with my father. His tone was monotone when we started to walk back. As if he was disappointed in me. As if I had done something horrible. It could be the onset of homesickness, knowing soon I won't have my mother, father, bed or roof over my head.

"Cain?"

I turn my head to my left, where the stairs are. Dizzy stands in her Raider armor, a tired and worried expression on her face. I thought she was going to sleep in, soak up the essence of a warm bed for the last time. Looks like I was wrong about that.

"Hey. What's up?"

She comes and sits by me, putting a pack of cigarettes on the table just as I poke my own one out. Dizzy lights hers, and puts her head down in the crooks of her elbows.

"…I'm scared."

Dizzy says it so openly, so plainly, I nearly have to close my jaw with my hand. Hiding her face, she smokes her cigarette with her mouth close to the table. I lean forward on my elbows, curious.

"Of what?"

"Leaving home."

"What? Diz, you should be excited."

"I know, I know but…I'm just scared that…things will go bad. And I'm scared of how big it is. And of the dangers. And the Raiders…"

"You went out fine before."

"Yeah well, that was _before_ we got attacked. Cain, it was never like that for us. Out there we literally have _no one_. Here we have mom and dad, and they protect us. But out there…people can be missing for miles and miles and even more and more miles. What if we run out of radiation? Or really, really hurt? Or bullets, even?"

Her worrying makes me worry. She has every rhyme and reason to be scared, but it's just not like her. Maybe because the Dizzy I'm so use to is closed-off, brazen, bratty and impulsive. Getting to re-know the Dizzy with insecurities and fears is a little hard, and moving fast.

"I'll be with you, and you won't have to worry about any of that."

Picking her head up, Dizzy takes a drag of her cigarette and raises a perfectly-formed eyebrow at me.

"You sure are sure of yourself."

"Well…it's my job. To keep you safe."

"Why?"

"What?"

What exactly is she asking me, again?

"Why is it your job to keep me safe? You've always said it's your job, but _why_?"

I never thought of it that way before. Mom and dad always told me, since the day Dizzy was born that it was my duty to keep her from harm's way. After hearing it for so long, so many times, I just took it as the norm. I'm older, and she's younger, there's really not much else to it. But, the way Dizzy asks me, makes me think there is. That somehow mom and dad have this secret hidden agenda for her, or for me even, both of us, and I was never to know about it. Thinking of it that way makes me realize how stupid and silly it sounds. I shake my head at my thoughts, and feel my hair against my brow.

"Because I'm your brother, I guess. I don't know. Mom and dad always just…sort of told me to keep you safe. Probably because I'm older."

"And a lot like dad."

"What do you mean?"

Dizzy leans back in her chair, a mischievous glint in her eye. Since forever she's gotten that look whenever she knew something anyone else didn't. I used to think it was funny, especially when her and I would team up against our parents. Now, though, it worries me.

"Well…you're a lot like dad. You're the same height, build, eyes, face I'd even go far to say. So…where does mom fit in?"

I shrug, and try to play this one off coolly.

"I don't know. You look just like mom, you know."

"No I don't. I look like _both_ of them. I can't see any of mom in you."  
"How do you know that? How do you know what dad looks like aside from a ghoul anyways?"

Dizzy shrugs, and sticks her tongue out at me.

"I have no idea what he would look like, but I'm guessing you. I look at mom a lot, and you have nothing of her at all. Not even like, your ears."

"Mom changed a lot over the years. You have her mother's hair."

"Yeah well, that's a genetic thing. What? Are you saying you look like mom's dad?"

"I could. You never know."

"Yeah well I'm just saying. It's fishy that you're just like dad."

"It's fishy that I look like our shared parental unit and took on some of his genetic personality traits?"

I think Dizzy realizes her stupidity in asking me questions. Granted, knowing the truth, she was right. But I can't let her know that, and the only way to end the argument is to be one-step up from her. Which trust me, isn't easy most of the time. Usually it's…a pain and I end up losing. When it comes to protecting a deep secret, though, I can be pretty good.

"Yeah, you're right. I think this whole finding out about mom and dad's renegade past thing has my head all fried up. Can you believe mom and dad fought the _Brotherhood_? I mean, I only ever heard of them, but still."

I've had a lot more time to digest the story of my parent's escapades. Dizzy, however, hasn't. Her amazement isn't misplaced, because I was just as shocked when they told me for the first time, too.

"You've only ever heard of them because mom and dad got rid of them."

"And the Talons?"

"Gone."

"Outcasts?"

"Gone."

"Enclave?"

"Gone."

"They really fought all of them? And took down all of them? Big, organized military people?"

"Sure did."

She has a look of shock, appreciation, and admiration on her face. One time, forever ago, I asked my father how all of it was possible. How two people, with only one having formal training, take down the largest organizations in the Capital Wasteland and escape with their lives? They didn't tell Dizzy about the facility below the Citadel Ruins, and for good measure, but it's another military clan break-up to add to their list. Anyways. When I asked dad, he smiled at me. Said that when two people love each other a whole lot, even the impossible is possible.

I was really young when I asked that question. Now I understand what he meant by it. A lot of people didn't agree with them, because they were symbols of sorts. You know, symbols of freedom in the Wasteland. Without any restraints on the land or themselves. The bases and people they abolished all wanted to create organization in laws, where anarchy had prevailed and proven good, for once. In the end, they went after mom and dad in their own personal ways. Both my parents, not wanting to lose the other, fought until they were broken and weary. I can see how they did it. Two people are a lot harder to find and catch, than a large base of operations. They had stealth and surprise on their side. Can you picture my mother doing any of this with a plan? No, I didn't think so.

"Then…maybe we shouldn't be so scared."

Dizzy says, staring at the ceiling and still leaning back in her chair.

"What do you mean?"

She shrugs again, stubbing out her cigarette after a last drag.

"With all the baddies gone, me and you really have nothing to worry about out there. Except the natural dangers. And the Raiders."

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have gotten mixed with them."

Suddenly serious, Dizzy looks at me. Even though she has my mother's oval-shaped face, it's the jaw muscles that scare me. When she's serious, she clenches them exactly the same way my father does when he's mad. Exactly the same way I do.

"…It wasn't me they were after that night, you know."

"What?"

Leaning forward, she gets closer to me.

"It wasn't me they were after, they told me. It was you."

"Me?"

"Yup. They didn't tell me why, only that 'pretty boy Cain' can tell me the truth. But…I don't get it. You never ran with Raiders, and I did. Why…would they want you?"

Dizzy was really out of it during the confrontation I had with them. Hearing her question these things puts at ease my fears of her hearing too much. So I play stupid.

"Probably since you hung out with them, they know that a way to hurt you is to get to me. Or they have a grudge against dad. I don't know."

Accepting my answer, Dizzy stands up. She stretches, yawns, and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Well, alright I guess. I have things to do and people to berate one last time before hauling ass out of this dead end town. I'll see you tonight at dinner."

She heads towards the door, but I call out to her.

"Wait, Diz."

Dizzy turns, facing me with her hand on the doorknob.

"Do you have your gun? Just in case, I mean."

Pointing to her hip, I see the .44 Scoped Magnum there. My fears diminish slightly, and she smiles at me.

"I got my own back, hot-shot. Don't always need your rescuing, remember that one."

"I will. I'll hold it against you when we run into trouble."

Sticking her tongue out once more at me, Dizzy is off to the land of people and Megaton. God knows what going-away trouble she's going to cause, and I'm hoping it's not too severe. Shaking my head as I hear her excited footsteps turn down the hill, my eye catches something on the table. Dizzy left her smokes. Usually they're attached to the palm of her hand like an extra limb. I smile, knowing why she probably left them. It wouldn't be hard for me to go out and trade for some, or spend some caps and get my own, I just haven't left yet. I think this is her way of saying thanks, for whatever it is I've done.

Getting up to find my boots and put them on, I light a cigarette from Dizzy's pack. It tastes exactly like mine, but when she smokes them, they smell so different. Maybe it's just my own mind playing tricks. Finding my boots in the living room near the couch, I sit down to put them on. My hair brushes against my eyebrows, and gets in the way of my vision. Before I go maybe I should get it cut. Dad always said his hair was the same length, like someone forgot to cut his hair back to military style, and it just grew.

As I'm finishing lacing my boot, someone knocks on the front door. Getting up, I don't think twice. With mom and dad back in town, anyone wanting to come here and start trouble is too scared to. I open it without checking who's there, and I'm surprised.

"Erica?"

The shock almost makes me drop my cigarette. She looks up at me, her green eyes wanting sympathy. I look, but there's not much left in me.

"Can we talk?"

It's the words I'm sure every guy fears, and every girl eventually says. I didn't think there was room for talking. Her flipping out and leaving abruptly didn't really give me any reason to go and try to 'talk' with her. Why she's here now I can't figure.

"Uh…what?"

"Cain, I have to talk to you."

I lean against the doorway, letting her know that I'm not about to let her come in my house. It's my house, and I don't _have_ to let her in. Besides. She…actually hurt me.

"I'm listening."

"It's about how I acted the other night. Look. I heard your mom saying she was buying things for you and Dizzy."

"She is. Both my parents are."

"To go out into the Capital Wasteland?"

I nod as I smoke my cigarette. Erica sighs, and shakes her head at me.

"…Do you know…how dangerous it is out there?"

Turning away from her, I walk into the kitchen. Leaving the door open for her is a basic invite for her to walk in. She waits till I'm at the sink before she invites herself in, closing the door behind her.

"I was made for danger. Literally, if you remember."

"…That…may be true, but you've never left before."

"I did, once a few days ago, with Dizzy. Didn't turn out well."

I turn to face Erica. She has a worried and confused look on her face. Putting out my first cigarette, I light another one. The women in my life cause me to smoke far more than I usually do. Erica remains silent, and for some reason this makes me angry. Just looking at her makes me angry. I can't pinpoint why, but…all the things I've ever resented come to the surface when I see her face.

"What the hell did you come here for? To look stupid?"

I snap when the silence gets too much to bear.

"Cain? What? No I came here to talk to you."

"Than fucking talk already!"

"I don't want you leaving!"

It gets silent. It kills me, and I look around. There's no one here to help me, and even if there was, it wouldn't turn out good.

"It's none of your business. And you shouldn't care. You left me, remember?"

"…I didn't want to leave. I just…didn't know what else to do…"

"And how do you think that made me feel? Not even Dizzy knows what I am! You expect me to be open and close to people, to you, when this is the reaction I get?"

"Cain…don't…"

I hit my fist against the table. It shakes, as my anger takes hold of me. I'm not like my father. I can't control the slew of emotions that come at me. I can't control my anger.

"Get out. Get…out…"

Erica backs away slowly. She made me feel as if I wasn't a person. As if I truly was the nothing, the freak, that they created. But with her leaving, my anger stays. I stare at my hands, my father's hands. A cheap copy, of an imitation. My father was the same as every other boy in that place. He was only special because of the skills he honed and learned. How many times can you copy something, before it loses worth? How many times can you…can you want to give life, before having life becomes meaningless?

Storming out of my house, I walk down the crater in search of my father. There's things I have to take up with him. Things…I can't figure out on my own. With each step, the anger in me rises, and I shake. My mother…my father…they're not my parents. I'm a freak. The adopted freak. They took me in out of what, pity? I remember the look on my mother's face when she saw me. When she found out who I was. She looked at me like I was…was some sort of divine creation. And I'm not. I'm not anything. For all I know, I could have a cellular breakdown and dissolve into nothingness before their eyes at any moment. I'm not made of sperm and egg, I'm made of cells, plasma, and blood.

Noise passes by my ears, and all I hear is the impending silence of the outside world. From the corner of my eye, I see Dizzy's silhouette heading over the cliff to the right of Megaton. Someone bumps my shoulder and breaks my concentration.

"Watch where you're going!"

The resident says to me, and I lose all control. I attack him, in the middle of the crater, where the puddle and bomb once were. He's smaller than me, as most people are out here. It's not hard, to bring him down to the ground. Not hard to raise my fist, and even easier to ignore his own attacks on my body. A small crowd gathers as we scuffle, and I find I want to hurt him. Really, really hurt him. Before I can, I feel strong and familiar hands wrapping around my wrists.

It's my father. Charon. The one I was meant to surpass. Urges I've never felt before bubble and toil inside, and I'm not strong enough to fight them off. So I try to do, what I was made to do, and be better than the man who raised me. As he pulls one of my arms behind my back, using his weight to push me off of the citizen, I use my own, equal weight against him. Pulling free with my left hand, I hit him in the jaw. The crowd gasps. My father's eyes meet my angry ones.

"…This is how it's going to be, Cain?"

He says in his gravelly, rough, and accented voice. I narrow my eyes and nod at him. Without anymore hesitation, my father skillfully knocks me off of my feet. Pinning me to the ground, I kick and squirm. I'm not like his other opponents. We're perfectly matched in height and weight. He forgets that, and I'm able to toss him off of me. People in the small crowd start jeering, start throwing things at me. They don't like me, attacking their protector. It makes me feel like an animal. Like I'm truly nothing to them.

"Stop it…stop it…stop it…"

Memories of the home I came from, the place I was created in, come back to me. I remember the older kids, and how they'd torment me. How us younger ones would have to band together, to avoid the abuse we'd receive by those who we were supposed to look up to. I cover my ears with my hands.

"Cain!"

My father shakes my shoulders, and fearfully I look at him.

"Cain! Tell me, what's wrong? Cain! Are you in there?"

For the first time, my father is worried about me. I can see it in his eyes, those eyes of his. I can see it. Worry, for me, for only me and not for my sister. Not for my mother. But for me. If he's worried about me in the past, I was never able to see it. But I see it now, and the jeering from the crowd falls on my deaf ears. The silence doesn't kill me. I need his help.

"Cain!"

He shakes my shoulders again, and I start to tremble. I want to make my own choices. I want to forget these urges, this anger, the reason I was created. I want to be normal, that's all. I want to forget, the Raiders came after me, and got to me through Dizzy.

"…Dad…"

"Come on, talk to me, come with me…come on!"

He pulls me through the crowd, and I tear away from him. Tears well in my eyes, and I stare at him. He looks back, confused, and hurt. Did I hurt him?

"You made me! You made me! Do something! Do something about this!"

"About what?"

Charon…acts like he doesn't know. I punch the nearest thing, a filled trash barrel, and it leaves a dent.

"This! This! Do something about this! I was made because of _you_! Tell me what to do! _Tell me!_"

Staring at me, as my fist throbs, and feeling like I'm nothing, realization washes over my father. Looking past me and at the crowd I've attracted, he walks back over to my side, and whispers in my ear.

"Calmly come with me."

Still shaking and trembling, I feel his arms wrap around me. In a way, that would make almost anyone feel safe, secure, protected. Gently, his feet begin to move, and I'm led back up to the house. Step by step, inch by inch, we walk up the crater's side. With each step, my anger slowly vanishes. Why? Because somewhere in my mind, I know for the first time someone is going to listen to me. My father, is going to hear what I have to say, and instead not be concerned with the people of Megaton, my mother, or my sister. He's going to take the time, for me, and I've never gotten such attention. I've only ever received training, and last night's advice. I want to remember everything he ever said to me. I want to remind myself, maybe, he does care for me.

Getting inside the house, my father releases his grip. It's only then I realize he was keeping me from flipping out. Standing in front of me, I see the ghoul I would be.

"…Help me…"

I say to him, hoping he hears the desperation in my voice. Hoping, that all these urges, feelings, wants and desires…won't stay cooped up for long.

"You're changing."

"…How? How, dad, tell me!"

He backs away, and lights a cigarette. Handing it to me, he motions for me to sit. I take the cigarette, and shaking, I sit.

"…You were created to fight. To listen, obey, and follow out commands. That is in your genetic makeup. That is the difference between us. You are not a product of human nature, but of science."

"How do I _fix it?_ I need attention! I need someone to drill out all these unknown urges! Dad I _hit_ you! Dad!"

I'm a small child, crying for my father. Crying, for someone to fix and bandage whatever it is that's wrong with me. I need my father, to give me the attention, I was never given as a child. Attention, I never would ever think I needed.

"Calm down! Listen to me! I'm trying. I'm trying…to quickly figure out what it is you need…"

"I need…I need…I don't know! I'm a mess!"

"How did this happen? Calm yourself. Tell me."

"Erica…Erica came over she…she said she wanted to talk…"

"Talk?"

I shake my head, stressing, I take a drag of my cigarette.

"We…we were dating. She left me, because I told her what I was. And she came…she came here to talk, and it made me so _angry_. I couldn't…stop it I just…lost it."

"And then, after that, what happened?"

"I left. I left and I went looking for you. I couldn't find you right away, but I saw Dizzy…"

"You saw Dizzy?"

"Yeah, on the cliff, over there…and…I was looking at her, and then someone bumped into me, and I lost control."

I lift my head to see his eyes. He takes a deep breath in, and folds his arms. Shaking his head, he seems to…know something.

"...I want you to know, that I do love you as my own son. That I have never thought…this would happen, and I am sorry. Had I been aware, rather than in denial, perhaps I could have taken the steps to prevent it."

"Dad?"

"You…expressed your concerns to me last night, and I brushed them off. For that, I am sorry. I learned a long time ago, from your mother, that you need to take responsibility for the harm you cause others. No matter, if it's indirect."

"…What are you talking about, dad? What's wrong with me?"

"…Nothing is wrong with you. Your mother was right. It's simply time for you to go."

"Go?"

He sits down across from me. I'm not making heads or tails of any of this.

"Out into the Capital Wasteland. Out, to find your purpose. Your outburst today, will be one of many if you do not find your outlet."

"Outlet?"

Nodding his head, my father lights his own cigarette.

"Without direction, without purpose…a creation like you will only react violently. As was wanted, by those who created you. I had thought this, and given you the task of watching over Dizzy. I'm sorry I was mistaken, in thinking that was enough."

I understand now, what he means. I was created to obey, and to fight without any question or objection. Now that I'm older, now that emotions are triggering it, I'm starting to act out without that direction.

"…You weren't wrong, dad. Maybe…I just need to go out there, and get…get this aggression out. You're right, that I need to leave. But I don't want to leave Dizzy behind. I still want to protect her, dad."

"Then perhaps I wasn't fully mistaken. Maybe under the right circumstances, you will find an outlet, and be able to release this anger appropriately."

"Did you…did you ever feel this way?"

"Yes. Many times. Yet each time I did, was because someone had harmed my employer."

"Mom?"

"Precisely."

Leaning back in my chair, I feel calmer now. At ease, that my father is caring, and I can see that. I can see he's taking the time, and that he's genuinely worried about my well-being. I hope one day, he won't have to worry.

"…So…so your purpose? Your outlet?"

"Was your mother. I felt peace, in knowing she was safe. It calmed me, despite the newfound emotions I was feeling at the time. Yours, perhaps, will be similar."

"I just…I just don't want to feel like I'm not a person, because of how I was created."

"Like I said last night, despite how it was given, it is still a life, Cain."


	11. Chapter 11

By nightfall, mom has a pack all ready to go for us, and a dinner on the table. Inside the pack is mostly ammunition, food and stimpacks. Some gauze, and fresh and irradiated water. There's two sleeping mats, cigarettes, and lighters to spare. Despite it's content, I can carry it easy. Dizzy arrived home just as the sun was setting, as I was trying on the pack, and insisted she get the chance to try it on as well. I let her, and instantly she stated I would be the pack Brahmin. I figured as much anyways. Mom and dad got a laugh at how easily I accepted my role, while Dizzy spent the time setting the table. There's an air of sadness looming, as we all sit down to dinner. Tonight, mom made some Iguana Bits, Salisbury Steak, Sugar Bombs, and a few bowls of I'm not sure what.

"So, Dizzy, what did you do today?"

My father asks, with suspicion in his voice.

"Bid farewell to some old friends, and spent the day harassing the kind citizens."

"Funny, I didn't see you around town."

"That's because I'm a ninja, dad. Not even you can match my ninja-like speed and reflexes."

Mom chuckles while I shovel food in my mouth to keep out of this conversation. I said earlier how Diz likes to push dad's buttons, and this is one of those instances.

"You weren't by chance mingling with a certain group of Raiders now, were you?"

Dizzy gasps, and puts her hand over her chest.

"Why father! How could you think such a thing?"

"Because it's happened quite frequently in the past. You should know by now, Raiders aren't to be trusted."

"Neither are traders but you trust them."

"To bring supplies that Megaton needs."

"And I trust my friends to be nice to me."

She sticks her tongue out at dad and turns to me. Suddenly, I become her target.

"So I saw Erica today."

The room falls quiet, and I feel dad staring at me. Dizzy has no idea of the freak-out I had earlier.

"Yeah? That's nice."

"Yeah she said she dropped by and you flipped. But then you kissed and made up."

I drop my fork in shock.

"_What_?"

Dizzy nods, eating and chewing. As soon as she swallows she's back to talking.

"Yeah she said you guys kissed and made up and things are better. What the fuck are you thinking, getting back with her?"

Dizzy's tone turns malicious.

"Dizzy, don't bring up Cain's love life at the dinner table. It is interesting, though. Wait. When did you start dating Erica? Charon did we ever give him the sex talk? Cain you need it?"

"Mom, shut up! I mean, no I don't, I mean…"

"So you've fucked, then, right? You're twenty-two so I can't act like it hasn't happened. If it hasn't, didn't, I'd be worried."

"Mom…"

She shrugs like it's nothing.

"What? Concerned for my child is all. Don't want grandchildren when I can't even manage my own kids half the time."

"So, why the fuck you do it, Cain?"

I stare at dad while Dizzy and mom stare at me.

"Can I get some help here, please?"

Dad shrugs and eats his food.

"Staying out of this."

Thanks for the support, dad. It's appreciated, really. I look at Dizzy and sigh, knowing she's the easiest to answer. Mom'll have to wait.

"I didn't, Diz. She's lying."

"Why would she lie about that?"

"I don't know! Ask her!"

"We're not on good terms. She told me she didn't want me going with you into the Capital Wasteland."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know and I don't give a fuck."

"If you're drilling me about it you obviously give a fuck."

Mom coughs awkwardly but no one listens. Dad watches the scene unfold, getting some sort of comedic relief out of it.

"No I'm not. I just think it's stupid."

"What's stupid, Diz? Enlighten me."

"You. For taking her back. And…"

"And what?"

Silence. She looks around the room, biting her lip and wondering what to say next.

"Did it even matter to you?"

She shoots at me, angry. It takes me a bit, to realize what she's talking about. I second guess myself for a minute, and then I see it in her eyes. There's no mistaking it at this point.

"Dizzy, don't talk about that."

"Why not? Huh? Because it was stupid? Because I'm stupid? Or are you stupid for taking Erica back?"

"No one is stupid!"

"Then why'd you do it, huh? It wasn't like it was doing anything for my medical condition at the time!"

"I don't know, alright? I don't. You need to drop it and never talk about it again."

"Why? Because of Erica?"

"It has _nothing_ to do with Erica will you drop it?"

"No!"

Suddenly my father slams his fist on the table, shaking it and distracting me and Dizzy from our petty argument. I feel bad for her. I have to make her believe it was nothing, that I kissed her and that's that. But, even if she shows signs of returning anything for me, I can't let it happen. Can't let it grow. Because even still, we're related. It's wrong, and…I just…can't.

"That's enough out of you two. Now, if you've had your fill of food, I suggest now is the perfect time to be heading out."

Dad didn't stop the fight because he got angry. He stopped it, so that I wouldn't get angry. Rightfully so he's scared I'll have another freak out. It's possible that Dizzy can make me that mad, but I don't think I would have gotten there right now. Mom looks at dad, and back at us. Her eyes fill with tears and it just makes me feel even more guilty. About what, I don't know.

"He's right. You guys can bicker out there where no one can hear it. Actually, we've been looking forward to the peace and quiet. It'll be a nice break. But we'll still miss you, and stuff."

And stuff, she says. Typical of my mom. Dizzy and I get up to clear our plates, I wasn't that hungry anyways. Even though dad ended the argument, the anger is still residing below the surface. Mom and dad stand up with us, and dad puts his arm around mom. He kisses her head, and she smiles up at him with tears still in her eyes.

"They'll be fine, Dezbe."

"How do you know?"

"They're our kids. Does it need anymore explanation?"

Mom shakes her head, smiling. As quick as the tears came, they're gone. Dizzy goes over and grabs her gun where she dropped it, near the pack. Hooking it to her waist, she sighs and looks at me.

"Ready?"

I nod, and pick up my own gun. Holding it in my hand, I sling the pack over my back first, and then my gun. Dizzy taps her foot impatiently.

"Can we _go_ now?"

Raising an eyebrow I fold my arms over my chest and look over at mom and dad.

"She's being a brat again, if you hadn't noticed."

"She's eager to leave, Cain. Dizzy come here."

Obediently, Dizzy walks over to mom and gives her a big hug. It's love all around, and dad lectures her last-minute on good survival skills. Not trusting strangers, not leaving my side, don't try to pet the Yao Guai, and don't try to bring one home as a pet. Also, Super Mutants are enemies, not friends, no matter what they try and stammer to you. It's as if he's talking to a two-year-old and I'm glad I don't get that treatment. Still, Dizzy seems to be soaking it up just fine and well. She smiles at dad, and I know she's really going to miss him. They're pretty close, and dad's always had a soft spot for her.

When both of us are done saying goodbyes, it's off into the Capital Wasteland. Mom and dad stand on the porch to watch us leave, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I want them to go inside, and just deal with it, but I understand their concern. My last image of my parents before setting foot, is seeing dad holding mom as close as he can. For a second, he looks away from us leaving and down at her. The love on his face is unmistakable, and I hope one day, I can love like that too.


	12. Chapter 12

"Daaa…da da da daaaa…da da daaaa…"

We've been out here two stupid hours, heading towards the city at night and without running takes more time than I thought. You can't see your hand in front of your face out here, even with your natural night vision. Plus, Dizzy has been singing some stupid song since we got out of earshot of Megaton. It's getting annoying.

"Daaaaa….da dummmm…."

"Dizzy, what in the world are you doing?"

"Singing."

"I know that, but singing _what_?"

She shrugs, and smiles at me. My duster jacket blows in the wind, and Dizzy shudders. Mom didn't pack warmer clothes for her.

"It's our adventure theme song. Can I have your coat."

Smirking back at her, I shake my head.

"Not unless you stop singing that tune."

"Alright, fine."

I hand over my jacket, and no sooner does she have it in her possession, does she start singing again.

"Dum dum daaaa! Da da daaaaa dum!"

"Dizzy!"

She starts to laugh, and I like hearing it. It makes me warm inside, even though it's a chilly night. All we hear is our own footsteps. You know, you never realize how big and wide this place is, until you take the time to look at it. For miles there's nothing, and above us the stars and moon cast down a dim light. But there's clouds in the sky tonight, which makes it seem darker.

"Come on, aren't you excited in the least about being out here?"

"I guess, Diz. I'm just tired."

"Yeah, you had a big day with Erica."

Without our parents near is, I feel like it's time to set things straight with Dizzy about Erica.

"Listen, Diz, whatever Erica said isn't true. I didn't patch things up with her. In fact, she left after I got so angry."

"I don't care. Why are you explaining it to me?"

"You…never mind. Forget I said anything."

Whatever she accepts in her mind as the truth, is the truth. Even if she's wrong, which she is right now, it doesn't matter to her. We walk in silence, the dim light of the moon through the clouds allowing us to only see what our eyes focus on. I realize this is a danger. We could very well walk into an animal, or Raider, or even Super Mutant. I don't want to be caught off guard, so I suggest to make a camp. Dizzy agrees, and I think she's a bit fearful. Otherwise, she would have argued to push onwards. At least this time around, she's being agreeable.

Tossing my pack on the ground, I open it to pull out the sleeping mats. Dizzy makes no movement to help me, and sits herself down across from my pack. She lights a cigarette, her head turning around to look at every little detail. Tossing her a sleeping mat, I decide it might be a bit too late to start a fire.

"It's cold."

Dizzy says, which goes against my want to simply sleep. Looking around for some brush, I start to gather what's needed for a fire. Dizzy, on the other hand, sits there looking at rocks. Literally.

"Mom said it was dangerous out here. Aside from Raiders, there's not much danger."

"We've been out here a short time, Diz. There's been no time to find danger."

"Why would you want to find danger?"

"You know what I mean."

"You're being cruel."

Looking at her as I crouch down to use my lighter to make a fire, I raise an eyebrow. She nods in defiance.

"Yeah, you're being cruel."

"_How_?"

Shrugging, she lays down on her mat and stares up at the sky, smoking her cigarette. Smoke leaks slowly from her lips as she plays with it, and it dances in the temporarily still air. It's white, against the midnight blue background. Once I get the fire lit, I unroll my own mat and lie down a few feet from her. My gun less than an arm's reach away, we warm ourselves by the fire.

"…You know, Cain, I was thinking about how we've gotten distant over the years."

"Yeah?"

"It's not all my fault. You made yourself scarce."

"What do you mean?"

Turning my head to look at her, she's still staring at the stars.

"I used to wait for you by the door every evening. Every time, I wished you'd take me upstairs and play games with me. But you never did. You just walked in, ate, and went to your own room. Eventually I just stopped, because I figured you were too old to play with me."

I'm sorry I hurt her like that. It never…really processed in my mind that those small instances bothered her. I guess, since we've been apart, I just accepted her as an uncaring bitch, without bothering to look deeper. I watch her in silence, as she puts her cigarette out in the dirt.

"…I didn't think it bothered you."

It's the only thing I can think to say. Apologizing now, wouldn't fix or change the past. All I can really do, is continue learning, and make sure I don't make the same mistakes again. I never knew, Dizzy really did care, and always has.

"I just wanted you to know, it wasn't just me being the bitch. Because…if it was, I would have said something sooner."

"When you got older, you stopped paying attention to me, too."

She looks at me, and her eyes meet mine.

"There's enough blame to go around. We can spend all night, putting it on each other. Like maybe how things might've been different if…if you gave me the time of day when I waited by the door. But it's useless to do that."

"Yeah…I guess it is."

Dizzy's quiet for a bit. For a minute, I think she's sleeping, with her deep breathing. Just as I'm about to close my eyes, with the fire crackling beside me, she speaks.

"I met a boy."

I look at her again, her eyes are closed, and her face is pointed towards the sky.

"Oh yeah?"

Nodding, Dizzy smiles and turns her head towards me. Opening her eyes, I can tell by the look on her face, this isn't just any boy.

"Yeah. He's…he's really nice."

"Is he a Raider?"

"No. No, he's…he's not from Megaton, though. He has a little campsite just over the cliffs. He's a bit older than me, and…we've been hanging out. I think I like him. Ya know, _like_ him."

I think of what this guy could look like. I think of him getting to know Dizzy, and making moves on her. The thought of it, makes me angry. I clench and unclench my hand to keep myself calm.

"Oh? That's good. Is he nice to you?"

"Yeah he is. He thinks I'm really pretty."

"Well, you are but that can't be the only reason he likes you. If it is, he's bad news."

"No he says he likes my character. And I think dad'll really like him."

"Why do you think that?"

"Don't know. Just because he's a nice guy. Wanders around really, and dad likes people who can survive out here."

"Yeah, but it's an entirely different matter if that person is making the moves on his daughter."

Dizzy shrugs and looks back up to the sky.

"You have Erica, so I figure maybe…I can have someone, too. Someone, who isn't a Raider. If I do, maybe I won't feel so lonely."

Rolling on her side, Dizzy faces her back to me. A lump of sadness wells in my throat and chest. Trying to exhale it out doesn't work. Staring up at the stars, I try to collect my thoughts. All I can think about, is Dizzy.

"You don't have to feel lonely. You have me."

"Not in that way, Cain. You know what I mean. I want someone to hold me, and kiss me, tell me I'm pretty."

"I do all those things. Maybe not kiss you in the same sense, but I hold you if you're sad, and I tell you you're pretty. Hell I just did."

"You can't have sex with me. You can't…chase my dreams with me."

"What are your dreams?"

I hear her sigh, and the sound of a lighter flicking. Dizzy rolls back onto her back, and stares at the stars with me. I wish I had the words to say, to make everything go away and disappear. I wish Dizzy would just believe in me.

"I don't know yet. But doing this, being out here with…the ability to do anything I want…makes me happy. I want to walk all around this place as much as I can. I want to fight bad guys, just like mom did. I want…I want to make a name for myself."

"That's more of an aspiration than a dream."

"What's the difference?"

Nothing, I guess. We see a shooting star in the sky, and for a minute neither one of us say anything as we make a wish.

"I can follow you around the Wasteland as much as you want…just like dad followed mom."

"Which by the way I have no idea how he did. Wouldn't he get tired of it?"

"No, he loved her. He was happy to just be around her, and keep her safe."

"Yeah, I want that. I want…someone to do for me, what dad did for mom. It's a real love story, you know? Well, you know it better than me. I'm still digesting it all."

Mom and dad, they do have a real love story. Even I can't believe all the things they endured together, and still at the end of it all, loved each other just the same.

"…Dizzy, I know…I know we're just beginning to build our relationship again, but I want you to know I will always be there."

Curiously, she turns her head. I reach out my hand to her.

"I will be. As long as you…want me to be, I'll stick around."

She slips her hand in mine, and it warms my entire body.

"Yeah?"

I nod.

"Yeah. Whenever you need me, I'll be there. And if you find someone else to…fill the needs I can't, he better be good. Because if he slips up, I'll be there."

"Why do you care so much all of a sudden?"

"I always cared, Diz. I've always loved you. I always kept an eye on you. I know…I wasn't around in the past, and you probably needed me, but…I'll make up for it now."

"You were there for me. You saved me from those Raiders. Which by the way, you haven't told me how I can repay you for."

I squeeze her hand, and she squeezes back. I want to move closer to her, but…I don't think it would be a good idea.

"Let me try. Let me follow you, and do what dad did for mom. I'm not as skilled as he is, and I can't control my anger sometimes but…I can keep you just as safe."

Dizzy looks back up at the stars and the clouds above us.

"Dad…really loves mom, doesn't he?"

"He does."

"And mom, really loves him back. Even after all this time…"

"She was only a bit older than you when she met him."

"I want that, Cain. I want…a love that doesn't die over time and arguments. But, I think I know why they love each other so much."

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because of all they went through together. No one, not even us, can ever match up to that. Mom can never talk to someone about it, the way she can with dad. And dad can't compare any woman to the things mom did for him. I think that's what makes them stay in love. Because they endured, and saw things, no one in this whole big, wide, enormous world will ever relate to."

"I think you're right on that."

Dizzy looks over and smiles at me. She squeezes my hand, and puts her fingers between mine.

"No matter who I end up with, you know, you'll always be my big brother."

Still holding my hand, Dizzy closes her eyes and lets herself fall into a deep sleep. I don't have the balls to tell her, that I don't want to simply be her big brother. That even though these feelings are wrong, my urges are wrong, I want to be the only man in her life. The only one to be there when she's sad, in need of comfort. I want to be the one to brighten her day, make her happy, and love her. No one will know my sister as well as I do. There's a lot more to learn, about Dizzy because we've been so distant for so long. But, she'll tell me, she'll open up to me. In ways…no other man can understand. Even as she sleeps, I can still hear her voice, her laugh in my mind.

There has to be a way, to make right of this wrong. Looking at the fire, I keep her hand tightly in my own. Is there no way, to undermine our blood relation and make it so we _can_ be together? A way to somehow argue it, explain it, and disprove all theories? I don't know. Maybe…maybe someone made a mistake in creating me. Maybe I'm not as much as my father as I think I am. I know that's stupid. I know…that's wrong. Because the scientists who worked there, rarely ever mistook their work. I am…exactly what they told me I was. I only wish I wasn't. Is there truly no way, to go about this? It's going to kill me, when we return to Megaton and Dizzy runs off to see this boy that she's so infatuated with. To meet him, and know he's the man that'll take my sister away from me.

Letting go of Dizzy's hand, I decide…maybe, it's time to give up on this. For all I know, it could be a phase. Something that will pass in time. I should start to disconnect myself with her. At least in this emotional way. My life will be a lot shorter than hers, so…at least for tonight, let me enjoy it.

Getting up I move my mat right beside hers. Without giving any warning, I lie down and wrap my arms around her. The sudden touch and movement wakes her, and I feel her resist as it sinks in. Once she realizes it's me, she stops, and relaxes in my arms. Time is short for me. I can't waste it, playing stupid games.

"Cain?"

"Quiet."

"What're you doing?"

I squeeze her tighter. My father is right. No matter what it's a life. A life, that I want to make the most of, and live. What's a life, without taking chances? Dizzy has no idea, that I'll be dead in forty years, maybe fifty. That's nothing to her. That time, is like a day in her lifespan. She knows this. Mom told her as soon as she could understand, how long of a life she's going to have. She's going to see this world change before her eyes. And I won't be there, to watch it with her.

"…Just let me. Let me hold you."

"But I'm not scared."

"I am, Dizzy. I'm scared."

Her hot breath bounces off my collarbone. Her arms that were pinned against my chest work their way out, and wrap around my back.

"What are you scared of?"

Dizzy isn't use, to hearing me admit my own fears. She isn't keen on it, and doesn't know what to do. But her concern, just knowing that she's there, makes everything feel alright. If only for a short time. I don't know, how to tell her all the things I fear, in a short sentence. So instead, I keep silent. I keep my mouth shut, and eyes tightly closed, as I hold her and wonder why only a kiss, could make me feel this way.

I had wanted to forget it. Wanted to dismiss it as an impulsive thing, but I know better. I know, it was a lot more than impulse. It wasn't only a kiss. It was everything to me. It means even more, knowing she kissed me back. Thinking of someone else, holding her and kissing her, makes my grip around her tighten just slightly. The image inside my mind kills me, takes control, jealousy for an unknown man makes me so angry. But, isn't it the price I have to pay, for feeling the way I do?

"Talk to me, Cain. I'm a real good listener. I swear. I won't interrupt once. Promise."

When we were younger, we would pinkie-promise. Can any other man in the world say he shared that with her? No. They can't. They can't because they weren't there. I want to open my eyes and look at her, but I know it'll kill me. As much as I want to, as much as I desire, I can't. Love…love belongs to desire, and desire is always cruel, isn't it?

"Just be quiet. Be quiet, and let me hold you."

I press my face against the top of her head. She smells sweet, like a candy I've never tasted before. I hold back my urges, my words, and save them for another time. Maybe, another woman altogether. The fire snaps, crackling behind me. I feel her lips on my bare skin, brushing with the closeness. It makes my heart beat faster, and I know I have to let her go. I have to let her go, or else commit one of those mortal sins of the past my father sometimes talks about.

Pulling away from her, Dizzy lifts her head. She looks at me, and I outline her face with my fingertips. I'd do almost anything for her. I'd do it all, anything she asked.

"You don't have to be scared, Cain."

She says to me, her innocence in her own right moving me. Water forms in my eyes, and I want it to go away.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because. I'm here. And no bad guys want to mess with me."

"It's not that kind of fear, Dizzy."

Smiling a bit, her eyes soften. I always want her in my life. I want to fix the past, and see what today would be like, if we never grew apart. Every dream I have, is of her and me.

"What kind is it then?"

"The kind on the inside."

Childish. That's what Dizzy is. But…it's endearing.

"When I was little, and I was hurt, you'd put gauze on it and kiss it better."

"Yeah…I remember."

With that, she kisses my collarbone. It makes me shudder, and freeze up. Gently, she kisses my neck, and then my chin.  
"You would tell me, that once you kissed it, it would go away. And it did."

"…Because there was radiation on the gauze…"

"But I didn't know that then. I thought, you could fix anything. So maybe, it'll work this time, for you."

I don't have the heart to tell her, feeling her lips pressed against my skin just makes it worse. Instead, I blink away the tears, and pat her head.

"Yeah. It helped."

She smiles, and puts her head on my chest.

"Try and sleep. I'll lay here with you all night."

Her efforts, make me warm inside. No woman will do such childish things for me, even if they are useless. It's the thought that counts. Kissing the top of her head, I listen to her advice. I try to get some sleep, and hope she's still here when I wake up.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, I open my eyes to see Dizzy poking at a dying fire. The sun is rising over the horizon, warming things with its light as it slowly rises in the sky. Against the backdrop of the rising sun, Dizzy looks like…she belongs out here. Like she was _meant_ to be in the Wasteland, just as our parents were. Even though, she looks sad, and tired as she pokes at the burned sticks, to me she's perfect. Each breath she takes, as her stomach that's confined in the holds of her shirt rises and falls. My mother in her time, once dawned armor just like that. But, my mother is adorned with scars, and bare muscle. It doesn't take away from her beauty, but I wonder if by the end of this, will Dizzy have her own set of scars? I think, she'll have her own story to tell. Just as my mother does.

"What're you doing?"

I ask, sleepily. I'm happy, that she's the first thing I see when I wake up. Dizzy shrugs, and gives a sideways smirk.

"Playing with fire."

"I see that."

"Then why'd you ask?"

Her smile, as she looks at me, tells me she doesn't mean that as rudely as it sounds. Sitting up, I yawn, stretch, and rub the sleep from my eyes. My back is sore from the hard ground, and I'm colder than I usually am. At home, though, I have blankets to protect me from the pre-morning chills. Dizzy still wears my Duster jacket, as she sits in front of the fire.

"So, you ready and excited to head off into the great unknown?"

Surprisingly, Dizzy just shrugs and looks away from me. She doesn't seem at all excited, and I sense something is wrong.

"Diz? You alright?"

Biting her lip, she shakes her head at me.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry. So I woke up to look for food. Then I realized, I don't know how to get food. And then…then…I really miss dad…"

"Dad?"

She nods, and pouts while patting her stomach.

"Yeah, dad."

"Why dad? What about mom?"

"I miss her too, but I miss dad more."

"Why?"

"Remember when I thought there was a monster under my bed? Dad would come in every single night, and pretend to fight the monster. Then he'd tell me he killed it for the night, so that I could sleep as late as I wanted. I heard noises last night, and I realized out here, the monsters are real, and dad isn't here to fight them."

Dizzy and our father are close. When she was little, he'd always pick her up and play with her. He'd fight the monsters, and scared everyone stiff of messing with her. Once this creep tried to see under Dizzy's dress. Well, that's what she came home saying. She said some 'big, tall, mean man' had tried to take her dress away. Of course, she didn't understand it. Only that someone wanted her precious dress. Dad, on the other hand, completely lost his mind. Mom couldn't even calm him down.

I remember following him out, because he demanded I come with him. Maybe because he wanted to teach me a lesson: do not let anyone mess with Dizzy. But anyways, he grabbed his gun, and with me in toe, went to find the guy. Dizzy had told him he was the new man, and I didn't know what she meant, but dad did. We went right to his house, and needless to say he was shocked to see the mayor and sheriff of Megaton at his front door. He didn't know Dizzy was his daughter.

Dad nearly blew his head off. Ended up firing a bunch of rounds into the roof and it was loud enough to notify everyone in town. Scared the guy shitless, and ended up beating him to nothing more than a pulp. That's just one small example, of how protective our father is over his family. Especially Dizzy. She's his little girl, and she wears that title with pride.

"If it makes you feel better, the monsters out here are no match for me."

Suspicious, Dizzy raises an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah?"

"Diz, dad fought pretend monsters. I saved your ass from Raiders. You're just a bit homesick. There's food in the pack. Relax a bit and let's head over to the monument when you're done eating."

Dizzy smiles at me, and pulls something out of my Duster jacket. It's a folded piece of paper, and I recognize it as the map I copied down from mom's Pip-Boy.

"I want to go to a new place, Cain. A _new_ place."

"New place?"

I say as I begin to dig food out from the pack. Dizzy can't eat as much as she did back home. We have to save our food, because the one thing dad failed to teach me was how to catch the animal, before skinning and cooking it.

"Yeah, here, right here."

Dizzy gets up and shoves the map in my face. Her finger points to the Citadel Ruins. Confused, I look at her.

"Why would you want to go there?"

"Because it looks cool."

"Dizzy, it's on a map."

"I'm going whether you like it or not. Follow me or not, I'm going. I'm also hungry."

She snatches the Sugar Bombs from my hands and starts to chow down. I have no choice in this matter, I can see that. I mean, I had wanted to go to the Citadel Ruins but…I guess not so soon. And for Dizzy to pick that one location, out of over hundreds, is a bit strange to me. But I figure it isn't anything important. Maybe for some reason, it sparks her interest. Killing two birds with one stone won't be too hard to do. I can't say I'm not suspicious, but what is there to be suspicious about? Dizzy wants to go to the Citadel Ruins. I can't stop that.

The next few hours, we follow the river. Dizzy and I make small talk, laughing as we enjoy the company of each other. Even though we're having fun, I can't shake that something about Dizzy is off. It could her homesickness, but it doesn't seem that way. Every once in a while mid-conversation she'll stop and look around. Even if she's laughing, when she looks the happiness drains from her face, and she gets worried.

After about five hours of non-stop walking, something happens. We run into trouble. In front of us, Super Mutants yell and shout at one another. Neither Dizzy nor I have ever really seen one this close before. Sure, dad showed us a nest of them forming just outside Megaton, through his sniper scope, but that was it. Now, they're bigger than both of us thought, and a lot closer. Stupidly, Dizzy and I stare at them.

"So…do we shoot them?"

She asks, pulling her gun out.

"I guess. I mean, before they start shooting us."

Suddenly, Dizzy isn't the girl I know her to be. With courage, and foolishness, she runs ahead of me and starts to aim and fire her weapon.

"Dizzy!"

I call after her, as her bullets hit their targets. It doesn't do much damage, dad says it takes a good amount of bullets to take down Super Mutants because of their thick skin. Pulling out my own weapon, I catch up to her and start firing. The mutants get pissed, there's two of them, and one charges with a board in his hand.

"Look out!"

I say, pushing Dizzy down. She falls into the dirt, unharmed, as I dodge a misplaced swing.

"Leave my brother alone! Stop it!"

I see a rock hit the side of the Super Mutant's head, and his attention is taken away from me. The other one starts to fire a Hunting Rifle, and Dizzy is oblivious to this as she lets bullet after bullet hit the mutant coming towards her. Eventually, she runs out, and the rest of her ammunition is in the pack. That is on my back.

"Die, human!"

The mutant screams, and I ignore the one shooting. A bullet hits my arm. Have you ever been shot before? I sure as hell haven't. The pain is sharp, burning really, and I feel my arm twitch and bleed. I let out a cry of pain, and drop my weapon. Dad may have trained me, but no amount of training can compare to the real thing.

"No! You die you mutant!"

Dizzy yells back at her assailant, and I reach back down for my weapon. With my right upper arm injured, I know I won't be able to deal with the recoil. But then, I think, I go into shock. Dizzy picks up a large rock, and hurls it at the mutant's head. It does little to him, and he hits her full force with his board. She cries from pain, as she flies a few feet form him.

"No!"

I yell, and the mutant takes Dizzy's still body as a sign of death. I hope to god he's wrong. Ignoring the pain in my arm, as I see red all around me, I begin to fire my weapon at him. Bullets pierce him, and ultimately, I bring him down quickly. The other one, gets angry at seeing his cohort fall, lifeless. Letting out an angry cry, he rushes at me. My magazine empties before I can bring him down, as I didn't bother firing much at him. Right now, my weapon is useless, but I have one last defense.

Two nights ago, when I talked to my father, he gave me his precious combat knife. He told me to keep it strapped close to my waist, and use it in battle only as a last resort. Well. This is a last resort. Pulling it out of its sheath, I hold it in front of me. I may be tall, but this mutant is much taller. Figuring I can land a good wound on his abdomen, it's what I aim for. He reaches me, and I'm able to pierce his hard skin. But it does nothing. His large hand wraps around my neck, and I feel the air escaping my lungs while he lifts my feet off the ground.  
"Dinner!"

He screams as I struggle. I try and stab at his hands with my knife, but with a free hand the mutant pries it from my fingers and tosses it aside. Kicking, hitting, struggling, it doesn't help me. I can't breathe, and I feel my insides churning and shutting down.

"Leave him alone! Let him go!"

Dizzy's voice sounds so far away, and bleary I see her struggling to get up. The mutant looks over at her, distracted just long enough for me to lift my foot and kick him right in the diaphragm. At least, where I think it is. Either way, right or wrong, it works. The mutant drops me like a sack of yeast.

"Human girls taste better!"

He paces towards Dizzy while I cough on the ground. I couldn't get up now, even if I tried my hardest. Which I'm doing. My body simply can't recover quick enough. I catch a glimpse of blood running down Dizzy's side, and I realize there was nails in the board. I try to call out to her, but instead I end up coughing even more. Pitifully, I watch as the Super Mutant gets closer and closer to my wounded sibling.

"You can eat me if you can kill me, asshole!"

What is she doing? She doesn't have a weapon and you can't go toe-to-toe with a Super Mutant. But, then I see dad's combat knife laying just inches from her feet. Dizzy waits until the mutant is right on top of her, and then with strength and skill I've never seen in any other woman before, she grabs the knife, and uses his size against him. Wounded, Dizzy can still move quickly, whereas the mutant is too big and stupid to move his large body so fast. Getting behind him, Dizzy plunges the knife into his back, and lets her weight work as a lever. Dragging the knife down, she leaves a clean and fierce cut. Blood oozes out, as the mutant screams in pain. If there's other mutants around, they're going to find us.

The victory is short-lived, as the mutant grabs hold of Dizzy. Finally able to stand, I don't care that I have nothing in my hands to defend myself. I rush towards him. He holds Dizzy high in the air, over his head, and throws her to the ground. The sound of breaking bones echoes in my ear, and I freeze on the spot.

"…No…no, no, no…"

His laughter, the mutant's laughter, at Dizzy being injured sends me into a frenzy. I don't think. Just like I had with the Raiders, I let my impulses blindly lead me. The mutant is distracted, pleased with his work, and I jump on his back. Blood, his blood, soaks me. Figuring my right arm is already injured, there'll be no harm in injuring it more. Grabbing hold of the cut on his back best I can, I do the most vile thing. Inside his flesh, everything is warm. I do what I have to, to kill him, so that I can help my sister.

The mutant falls easy, from both blood loss and the pain I inflict on him. He doesn't have a swift death, and really I don't think he deserves one. His painful moans fall on unsympathetic ears, while he curses all humans under his breath. Not wanting to waste time, I run over to Dizzy, memories of the Raider attack flashing in my mind. Her leg moves, and she shakes her head back and forth. She isn't dead, and the weight that held me back is lifted.

"Dizzy…"

I say, crouching down beside her. Pain flashes over her face, and she hisses.

"It _hurts_."

"What hurts? What is it?"

I'm scared to touch her, because I know something is broken. I just don't know what.

"Radiation. Get it. _Get it_."

She says to me through clenched and angry teeth. Right, I forgot. Getting up, I run over to where my pack fell when the mutant grabbed me. Digging through it with my good hand, I find irradiated water. Mom took the time to write a big 'R' on it, so I wouldn't get confused. Going back to Dizzy, I unscrew the cap with my teeth, and hold it to her lips.

"I'll get you, human!"

Temporarily, I forgot about the second mutant. Scared, injured, I look over and see him running away. Why…I can't tell you. Maybe seeing his friend killed so mercilessly scared him away. Or maybe, he's just going to find another weapon. Either way, he's gone, and I put my attention back on Dizzy.

"Drink, drink…"

I know it'll all be okay, I'm just rushing from adrenaline and worried. Rightfully so, too. She could have easily died right then and there. Gulping down the water, I see her eyes roll back in pleasure. I wonder what it's really like, to be healed so easily and so well by a simple chemical. Obviously it doesn't hurt, and from the times I've used radiation on her, her skin gets a comfortable warm temperature. When she finished the bottle, she lays there for a minute as I throw the empty plastic thing aside.

"Much…much better."

She says, and I smile at her.

"Good…good."

And then, we start laughing. Laughing at the near-death moment, and laughing at how dumbfounded we were when we first saw the mutants. Dizzy sits up, sore, but healing. In her happiness, she smacks my arm. I hiss and pull back in pain.

"Careful!"

I snap at her, cradling my arm. Dizzy's face falls, as she looks at my mangled, and bloody arm.

"Cain…oh… oh shit, stay here."

"Dizzy, wait!"

I don't want her to get and waste her radiation. She looks back at me, and I swallow hard.

"Radiation it…it doesn't work."

"I know. I know, mom packed medical supplies."

"Do you know how to clean and dress wounds?"

Neither one of us thought of that when leaving home. Now, we're too far to turn back.

"Yeah, mom showed me how. She showed me lots of things. Growing up, I mean."

Dizzy doesn't wait any longer. She digs through the pack and finds an old lunchbox. It's beat up, old, and worn with time. Coming back over to me, she kneels down, smiling.

"Mom said, this is what she used to keep her supplies in before she was immune. Here. It'll help."

Pulling out a stimpack, Dizzy bites the tip off. She helps me take of the jacket she gave back to me earlier, and begins to dress the wound. It hurts when she stabs the stimpack in, and hurts even more to feel her poking around inside my arm with tweezers. But I take the pain. I know the sooner it gets out, the sooner it can heal. Grabbing a bottle of pure water, Dizzy begins to clean it after fishing out the bullet. Soon, it's healing up with the aid of the stimpack, and Dizzy begins to wrap it in gauze.

"There. Just…be more careful next time."

She tells me like she just saved me. I guess, actually, she did. If she hadn't distracted that Super Mutant, I could have very well died. Dizzy, saved my life today. I don't know how to act, or how to thank her. Instead, I just stare at her, stupid and letting the pain in my arm subside.

"…You saved me, you know."

I tell her, feeling sheepish and shy. She smiles, and stands up. Offering me her hand, I take it, and she pulls me to my feet.

"Payback, for saving me."

Dizzy carries the pack as we continue to follow the river to the Citadel Ruins. She claims it's because she wants to help, but really I think she's looking out for me. I can't express to you, the gratitude, and the waves of emotions I feel right now. All this time, I thought I'd have to protect myself along with Dizzy. And…now I realize, she's looking out for me, too.

As if the Super Mutant attack never happened, we continue onwards, laughing and giggling like ten-year-olds. Dizzy and I reminisce about the past, about our parents, and how everything turned out alright so far in the end. Throughout all of this, I keep my emotions in check. Refrain from kissing her. Refrain from pulling her close, and begging her to run away with me. It's an idea I thought of last night. That…maybe somewhere, there's a place for her and I. A place, where Dizzy and I could somehow…somehow be together. The feelings I feel for her, I know won't happen with any other woman. I don't think, I could love someone as much, as I've come to love her. I know it's wrong, but my father's words ring so loudly in my head. That I have one life, and it's mine to live. That…the ultimate sin, is denying the desires I have.

As night falls, we run into a trader. Dizzy swaps some of our lesser supplies, like our sleeping mats, for a big bottle of whiskey and we head on. I don't object, because maybe it's alright for us to lose sight of the big picture for the night. Lose sight of the dangers, and let loose to be free. She…she deserves, to feel the feeling of freedom, and I think… I deserve it, too.


	14. Chapter 14

We build a big fire that night. Tomorrow morning, we'll be at the Citadel Ruins. We could have very well reached it tonight, but Dizzy said she wanted to wait. I don't know why, but she does. I told her shelter was at the ruins, but she didn't want to hear it. It was almost as if she was scared of something. But, I didn't bother to pry. Instead, I made a fire, cooked some food, and when all was said and done, let Dizzy open the fresh bottle she obtained earlier.

"This is…so fun, you know that?"

She tells me, before taking a quick shot of the liquor. I smile at her, and look at the bloodstain on her side. I don't know why, but it makes me angry and sad at the same time. Dizzy catches me looking at it, and her smile disappears.

"I'm alright, you know. There's no more wound."

Reaching towards her, I feel the dryness of the stain. I frown at her, wishing I could have prevented it altogether.

"I know…it's just…"

"It's alright, really. Don't worry."

Dizzy sits beside me, her head against my shoulder. I cradle my injured arm, looking down at her. She takes a bigger sip of the whiskey, and I take it from her.

"Sharing is caring, little sister."

I tell her, taking an equally as large gulp.

"Hey, Cain?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't call me that."

"What?"

"Don't call me 'little sister' anymore. It bothers me."

I stare at her as her hands reaches for the bottle. Putting my good arm around her, my hand strokes the dried bloodstain. I wish there was a way, for me to keep her perfect. For me to never let harm touch her. I think these thoughts, are just the booze talking.

"Why? I've always called you that."

Lifting her head, her eyes meet mine as the bottle meets her lips. I think, for both of us, that bottle is going to give us liquid courage to say things, we could never say sober. Shrugging as she puts the bottle down, Dizzy puts her head in my lap, and lays over me. In the light of the fire, I can't take my eyes off of her. The shadows of the flames dance around her body, illuminating it, making it that much more perfect. If there ever was a more perfect.

"Because I don't want to see you as my brother right now."

"Huh?"

Reaching for my hand, she takes it, and holds it close to her face.

"You're the only thing I really like about myself."

"Diz, there's a lot to like about you."

"Yeah?"

"Well, that boy you're interested in seems to think so."

The mischievous smirk fades from her face. Looking away from me, she stares into the fire. Still holding my hand, Dizzy sighs and shakes her head. Her fingers play with mine, and I think the liquor is starting to hit her. Her face becomes more relaxed, more open. Her blue eyes, shine like they never have before.

"…Sometimes… I think people like the idea of me, rather than me."

Her tone is sad, lost and hopeless. I turn her face to meet mine. I want to look at her while I talk. The whiskey, is working its own magic on myself. Taking the bottle, I gulp down another shot to help myself with words.

"What do you mean?"

I ask her, hoping to urge her into the conversation. Maybe then, with help of the whiskey, I can say what I've always wanted to say. Then, tomorrow, if things are bad, I can blame the whiskey.

"I think people like the idea of me. You know. Daughter of the two most famed people in the Wasteland. Even if I didn't know it, they did. And because of that, they must think I'm some badass femme fatale, like mom is. But I'm really not. I'm just a stupid kid who doesn't know any better. Then they get to know me, and realize…I'm nothing what they thought. And then, they don't like me anymore."

"If this boy doesn't like you for who you are, then he isn't worth it."

"That's easier to say than do, isn't it? It's easy for you to walk away from emotions. You're just like dad. You never say what you're really feeling, and keep it all inside."

Raising an eyebrow, I take one last sip as the effect take hold on me. Putting the cap on the bottle, I set it down. Dizzy is right, though. I never really say what I'm feeling, especially with her. Instead I do keep it inside, in hopes it'll all go away.

"Are you talking about Erica?"

I say, confronting her. Dizzy nods, not saying anything. I smooth her short, choppy, dark brown hair with my palm, and smile at her as she lays in my lap. Her big eyes stare back up at me, and a breeze makes the fire smoke blow in our faces. We hold our breaths, trying not to inhale it and make a coughing fit. As soon as the wind changes, we take deep breaths in. Feeling her back extend over my lap, sort of excites me. But like Dizzy says, I hold it all inside.

"Erica and I didn't get together, Dizzy. We're not together right now. In the past, we were. But I didn't take her back. She didn't even ask to be taken back."

"But you love her, right?"

"No, I don't. I…don't really love anyone."

"Except me?"

"Yeah. Except you."

Getting up, Dizzy makes me dizzy. In my mind, I laugh at the statement. She stumbles around the fire, and I grow a bit concerned.

"Hey, careful."

She laughs at me, and from across the fire, begins to sway her hips.

"I want to _dance_…"

Closing her eyes, she sighs, and it's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen half-drunk in my entire life. Stupidly, I smile at her as I feel the full effects of the whiskey. It's stronger, but then again, it's also been a while since I drank.

"What are you dancing for, Diz? You can't dance for no reason."

Thinking about what I said, Dizzy puts a playful finger on her chin. The straps that hold her top around her neck look like they're about to break, as she takes a deep breath in.

"For you. And…for realizing all men, except you, are useless."

"Oh, really? What about if you fall in love?"

"Who needs that? I have you, remember?"

Smiling at her, I feel a bit egotistical. Laughing, Dizzy stumbles over her own feet. All around, tonight is a relatively good night. We're laughing, having fun, enjoying ourselves. Innocent fun, with the inclusion of liquor. She laughs, and I laugh in return. Her balance is off, her speech slightly slurred, and I raise the bottle of whiskey to her.

"Dance to…to us!"

I say, and Dizzy laughs even harder. You know, no one ever really laughs, like she does. It lights up the clear night sky, and reminds me of sun. She has a wide, white, toothy smile. With her high cheekbones, whenever she smiles, her eyes are forced to slits. It makes her button nose crinkle, and a tidbit only I know, is that when she really wants to, she can wiggle her ears. The strap around her neck, the one that holds up her shirt, or lack thereof, moves with her neck when she laughs.

"Do you like my dancing?"

Dizzy asks, pretending to be shy.

"That I do, miss. That I do."

Without further complications, Dizzy begins to dance to a beautiful beat. I can't hear it, only she can, but I can see it. See it, as her bare hips bounce and move. Her arms, creating magic in the air, while her legs do complicated footwork to keep it all in sync. She moves against the flames of the fire, almost, in opposing rhythm to them. It's beautiful, erotic, like nothing I've ever seen before. Not in the saloon with its dancers, or in the Brass Lantern with its entertainment. Maybe it's because I've stayed in Megaton so long, but, I think Dizzy and the way she moves, is the most beautiful thing in the world.

As the flames lick at the night sky, her arms reach up, and her fingertips seem to touch the stars. Out here, with our parents blessings, we are free. Free to travel to the moon, free to fly together, and free to do whatever it is we please. I see this, all of this freedom, inside of Dizzy's trace-like dance. Her eyes, against her body's movements, stay focused on me. As she turns, showing me the small of her back, I hear the fire cracking, as her feet hit the ground in perfect rhythm. The stars…don't shine nearly as brightly, as she does.

Beads of sweat form on her body, and I notice it makes her look like she's shimmering. With the bottle of whiskey clenched in my hand, I take another sip. I can't explain, the emotions and feelings running through me, as I watch her move. Her face turns pink, with excitement at her own steps. I want to hear the beat she has in her head, so badly. I want to know what it is, that drives her to be so passionate about something. I never want her to stop, but…she does. She stops, and stares at me, sweaty and breathless. Her cheeks are reddish, and she licks her lips.

"Did you like it? I danced."

I smile at her, and outstretch my arms.

"I liked it this much."

Dizzy laughs, and walks over to me. She falls into my lap, her fingers grazing my bandaged arm. Staring up at me, as her chest moves up and down, Dizzy smiles.

"You know what?"

"What?"

I reply to her, and it feels like she's telling me a beautiful secret.

"Mom says that one day, the _entire_ land will be green, like Megaton is."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. She told me once, when I was really little, that there'll be gardens all over the desert. That one day, there's going to be grass and flowers as far as the eye can see."

Putting the bottle down, I realize how possible that is. But, I may never be able to see that. I may never, be able to share in that excitement, that Dizzy holds so dear to her.

"When it happens, you'll be there, right?"

The smile fades from my face. She reads my mind, without even knowing it. I won't be there, to see the Capital Wasteland fertile and green as so many people want it to be. I won't be there, to hold her hand, and watch as the land we were raised in changes. Tears form in my eyes, as Dizzy stares at me, still hopeful. I'd give anything, to live half as long as she will.

"…Yeah…I'll be there."

What'll happen, when she finds out the truth? What'll become of us? Dizzy trusts me. I'm the only person she has to confide in. So…what will she say, when she finds out I'm lying to her?

"Tomorrow, we'll go to the Citadel Ruins. We'll swim in the river, and we'll have lots of fun. Won't we?"

Her cheeriness sounds forced, as the tears in my eyes grow. I notice, Dizzy is crying, too. Does she know the truth? Impossible. There's no way she could have figured it out on her own, and yet…here she is, feeling just as sad as I am. What happened to our happiness? What we were feeling just moments before?

"Yeah…we'll have all the fun in the world."

"And then…a hundred years from now, we'll still be here, right?"

"Yeah, we'll still be here, and this place, will be our place."

She sniffs, holding back tears, holding back sobs. I'm doing just the same. I didn't come here, to lie to her. I didn't come here, to deceive and keep things from her. I came here, to spend time with her. To show her how much she meant to me. Is it possible, that I can do both at the same time? Will I be capable, of loving her and keeping myself at a safe distance?

"…Tell me, in the end, everything will be alright."

She begs me, the source of her sadness unknown to me. Wrapping her head in my arms, I look up at the sky. Some people, they believe in an ultimate being. A God of sorts. The Son of Atom, whatever you want to call it. And I want to know, if there is someone up there, what does he want from me? What pleasure, does he get, by allowing me to feel this way, and knowing there's nothing I can possibly do about it?

"Yeah. Everything…everything is going to be alright."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

No amount of liquor, can shake the feelings of despair that plague me and Dizzy. It's as if we both know the truth, but neither want to admit to it. Looking back down at her, I brush her eyebrow with my thumb. Tears fall from the outer corners of her eyes, and I smirk down, forcing it.

"Why are you crying, Diz?"

"I don't know…I guess I'm just crazy, huh?"

"That makes two of us."

She reaches up, and strokes my face with her hand. Her hand, is smooth and soft. It doesn't know, the efforts of work. She has no idea, what'll happen to her perfect skin if she stays out here. With time, and fights, she'll grow hard and calloused. She'll have more scars than she can imagine, inside and out. Even though being out here brings her joy, I don't want her to go through it all alone. I don't want her to have to fight Super Mutants or Raiders, without me there beside her.

"Diz?"

"Yeah?"

My hand moves to the dried bloodstain on her side. I feel her skin against my lower palm, and her ribs beneath the Brahmin-like fabric of her shirt.

"If you stay out here, this scar…will be one of the lesser injuries. You're going to get hurt, badly. Just like mom did."

"But mom had dad, right? She had dad, when she was out here."

"She did…"

"And I have…I have you so, it'll be alright."

"Yeah, it will be."

I feel her fingers tangling in my hair, and she smiles.

"I wish…people would tell me the truth, you know. I wish…somehow, there was a way for everything to be okay. But there isn't. And I know that. I just don't want to accept it."

I don't think, after the Great War, there's room inside Heaven or Hell, for people like me and Dizzy. I think instead, we're going to end up in limbo. I can smell the liquor on her breath, as I let my face get close to hers.

"There's nothing to cry about, Diz."

I whisper in her ear, nuzzling my face against hers.

"There's _everything_, to cry about, Cain."

I don't know what she means, but the warmth of her face against mine, as I hold her in my lap, erases all my worries. It erases all my concerns of the world. There's no words I have to offer, that'll comfort her, and work.

"Cain?"

Her hot breath bounces off my cheek, and a shudder crawls up my spine. If I was sober, I'd never let myself get so close to her. But at least, I can blame the liquor, if nothing else.

"Yeah?"

"Will you kiss me again, like you did before?"

I pull away from her, her eyes glossy with tears.

"…You…want me to?"

Nervous, she bites her lip, and nods.

"Is that wrong?"

Shaking my head, I feel strands of my hair brushing against my forehead. The fire that warms us, is like ice compared to the heat of Dizzy's lips against mine. I kiss her, as her nails gently scratch my head, as she holds on to my hair for dear life. My mind is empty, and I feel nothing except for her warmth, and the urges being fulfilled. She tastes like stale cigarettes, sweetrolls, and a trace of whiskey.

As the kiss ends, I can't help but want more. I open my eyes, and Dizzy opens hers. She takes in a deep breath, and stares at me. I don't know what to say, so I kiss her again. Her arms fall around my shoulders, and I can't even feel how cold the breeze is. If anyone sees us out here, they're just going to think we're some star-crossed lovers, wandering the Wasteland in search of the homeland. They'd never know, that we were raised together. That Dizzy and I, are closely related. No one out here, would judge us. They'd never berate us, or call us freaks. Instead, out here, we'd be accepted. I think perhaps, out here, is the only place, for people like us.

Dizzy takes in a deep breath of air, as she climbs to straddle me. I don't want to…want her to think that this is sexual. Of course, there's lust but…but kissing her is more than enough for me. My father, he said that in pre-war times, people would talk about the final judgment. That when people die, they're taken before Death and God and other patrons and saints, and judged on where to go. I wonder, if kissing Dizzy, is worth spending an eternity in hell? Feeling her warmth, though, I think it is. I think, right now if I died, it wouldn't matter much to me because I was able to do this so openly. My hands are firmly on her hips, while she holds on to my shoulders. I feel her lift a hand, and brush hair from my forehead. Opening my eyes, I see the moon behind her. She pulls away, her face heated with…passion, I suppose. Stupidly I smile at her.

"What's so funny?"

She asks me, as I rest my head on her chest, wrapping my arms around her back.

"Nothing. I'm just…smiling."

Her hands fall from my body, as she shoves them into her pockets. I kiss her collarbone, simply because it's there.

"Cain?"

"Hmhm?"

She puts her hands back around my shoulders, and I look up at her as she lifts herself up with her thighs.

"…Tell me everything will be alright?"

Curiously, I look up at her. Her eyes, once again, are filled with tears. It confuses me, and I feel something sharp in her hand, scraping against my neck.

"Dizzy…what're you doing?"

"I never wanted to see you unhappy, you know. And I thought you wanted the same thing for me…"

I go to grab her wrist, but I'm too late. She stabs me, with something small, sharp, and something injects inside of me. Toppling off of me, Dizzy lays on the dirt beside the fire, watching me as tears fall from her eyes. Pulling it out, I notice it's a needle, about the size of a Med-X dispenser.

"What is this?"

I demand, and Dizzy shakes her head.

"…I'm sorry."

"Dizzy!"

I go to stand up, but my legs drop from beneath me. Dizzy watches me, sitting up on her knees. The world spins around me, and my heart starts to speed up.

"…D…Dizzy…"

I say as my vision begins to blur, going in and out of focus.

"I can't do _any_thing without you! I can't do _any_thing when you're here!"

There's no response I can give, because my body simply won't work. The only thing I can do is breathe and look at her. I try to communicate with her through my eyes, but it does no good. She just stares at me, crying.

"You're not dying, don't worry. But…it feels like it, doesn't it?"

She lights a cigarette. As if…none of this matters to her.

"I…didn't realize _how_ dependant on you I was. I didn't realize any of that. And then one day I wake up and realize 'oh shit, this is my _brother_'. How'd you think that made me feel, huh? You want me to be happy? Well I _can't_ be with you around. Because then I'm reminded _constantly_ of you, and…"

She doesn't finish her sentence. Instead, she reaches and lets her fingertips brush mine. Somewhere, I don't know how far, I hear something moving. Dizzy takes her hand away, and stands up. She looks down at me, as the fire shadows her mercilessly.

"Just close your eyes. When you open them, you'll be safe. I promise."

Bending down, she kisses my forehead, as the urge to just sleep washes over me. I can't fight it, but I don't want to sleep. I want to know why she did this, and where she got whatever she shot me with. My breathing becomes deeper, as Dizzy stands over me. I feel droplets of water, tears from her eyes, as they fall onto my neck. There's a sweet sadness in her eyes.

"Can't you just let me be? Close your eyes."

I refuse. Even as my vision blurs, and blackens, I force myself to stay awake. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Dizzy bends down once again.

"Sleep."

She presses her lips against mine, and even though she did this to me, I'm still mesmerized by her.

"I won't ever, _ever_ forget these emotions. I promise…okay? I promise…"

She tells me, pressing her forehead against mine. Even with all this, all I want to do is comfort her. But I can't raise my arms to wrap her in them. I can't do anything, except sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

I feel sick. Nauseous. My stomach churns and even with my eyes closed, the room spins. Taking deep breaths in, I try to suppress the urge to puke. It helps, and I keep my eyes tightly closed.

"Ugghh…"

I moan, another attempt to not lose the food I ate. Did I even eat? Last night…what happened? I try to lift my hand, to rub my eyes, but I feel it being held back. The sound of metal clanking together gets my immediate attention. Opening my eyes, it takes a second to adjust to the lights, to the softness I feel beneath me. Am I in a bed? My palms feel the same softness, as I press them down. No, not a bed.

My eyes fixate themselves on my surroundings, and I feel a strong sense of familiarity. I'm in a cube-like room, big, and padded all around. There are no windows, and only one door. Metal chains bind my hands to the wall, the only thing not padded. I see the bedding on the walls was ripped, to install this. It's a new addition. There's nothing else in the room, nothing to use to break them off the walls, nothing to help me.

Pulling my arms up, I realize the chains are too short for me to even stand. Whomever made this, made them for the averaged-sized wastelander. Not, someone like me. The cuffs around my wrists scratch, and it's not long before I feel sore. How…how did I get here? My head pounds, and I slowly recall last night. The fire…dancing…whiskey and then…then Dizzy. Opening my eyes, I remember it was Dizzy who…who knocked me out. Well, not in that sense but it was _her_ who put me to sleep. She said I'd be safe when I woke up. I don't call this 'safe' per say, but I'm not harmed. Not that I can tell, anyways. I don't even have my boots, I realize.

But _how_ was I brought here? My weight…takes more than two average men out here to lift. Especially if I was unconscious, then I'd be nothing more than dead-weight. Looking around, I try to find some hint, a clue, as to where I am. Never being out into the Capital Wasteland before, I know I could be just about anywhere. But, I have a logical mind. Dizzy and I were closest to the Citadel Ruins when I blacked out. There's only what, a few more locations surrounding that area? If that. So…whomever brought me here, took my boots, my jacket, my weapons, had to be nearby. Looking up, I see an area where the padding fails. Where it's torn from someone here before me. Behind it, I see a shining metallic wall. My heart drops to my stomach. I'm inside the ruins. Back, to where I came from.

My mind flashes to the Raider attack when Dizzy and I first left Megaton, whilst our parents were in Rivet City. They were after _me_. They went after Dizzy, to get to me. I let one go, and that was the biggest mistake. They knew me. They knew who I was, and had been watching me. Dizzy had spent the day before looking around…and I remember how she was awake before I was, and how tired she looked. No…no way. There's no possible way that Dizzy…

But she was the one who put me to sleep. She was the one…that told me she couldn't live with me around. Did she…did she plan this? Did she really go over those cliffs the day we left, to meet with some new boy or was she meeting with the Raiders? How can…how can she do something like this? My denial that she was ever able to do something like this, my trust for her, was my ultimate downfall.

As I think this over, shocked and in disbelief, the door across from me opens. I look up to see a Raider, clad in Painspike Armor. He has a ragged face, but can't be older than me. A crooked nose from one too many hits to the face, and a green mohawk with matching green goatee. He has brown eyes, and a muscular frame. If I stand, I know he's shorter than me. He makes sure not to get too close, but I watch him.

"Well…well…well…"

He says, leaning against the wall beside the door. I narrow my eyes at him.

"It's about time I get to see you up close."

"Who are you?"

I ask through angry and gritted teeth. My fingertips can graze the top of my rusted cuffs, and the Raider lights a cigarette. He seems nonchalant and uncaring, but he gets pleasure out of this.

"Oh, sorry I forgot to introduce myself. Names Scab."

He waves at me, and I see Psycho track marks on his forearms. Raiders are simply junkies, who bother the hell out of people in the Capital Wasteland. Hardly organized, rarely protected with armor, I understand now what my father meant, when he said they were nothing but a nuisance he wanted to rid of the Capital Wasteland. This one, standing in front of me, is the one Dizzy had claimed hurt her. The leader of the band.

"But, I'm sure you've heard about me, yeah?"

"Where is she?"

My stupid, impressionable sister, was just that. Stupid, and impressionable. Whatever these Raiders promised her, she believed they would deliver. I was taught, to never trust them. They will lie, cheat, steal and step on anyone they can to get ahead in their own rights.

"Oh, who?"

"You know _exactly_ who."

Scab laughs, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"Don't worry about her right now. Instead, what happened to formalities?"

"What formalities?"  
"Cain, is that how you treat your old friend? Roommate?"

Are all of them, the kids I was with during the first short five years of my life? What do they want with me?

"I see by the look on your face, you remember. Well, I'm surprised you didn't forget. With all you were given, it would seem as if you'd block out all the bad things. The bad times."

"What do you want from me?"

He laughs, flicking some ash from his cigarette onto the floor. I notice he doesn't get close to me. He knows I'm strong, he knows if he comes even within a millimeter of my reach I'll make swift history of him.

"I haven't quite figured that out yet. But, you know, it really…ate us up inside. Do you remember what happened, after you left?"

"No, because I wasn't _there_."

"Exactly. You weren't there. A bunch of kids, alone in an unknown world, whilst you got it nice and comfortable. It was safe and easy for you, while all of us watched from the sidelines."

"I had _nothing_ to do with that! What's this all about? I can't fix what happened to you!"

"We know that, Cain. We know. We just don't think it's fair, that you got it oh so easy and we had to watch as some of our closest friends died, watched as they were _murdered_."

"Life _isn't_ fair!"

Scab narrows his eyes at me. He named himself, because if he was, who I remember him to be, at the time we all escaped, he only had a number.

"Your family took the only home we ever knew! The only place we were ever safe!"

"Then why didn't you just _stay_? Huh? Come back for shelter and food? If you didn't, that's your own fault, and I have _nothing_ to do with it."

"We couldn't. It was _destroyed_! We only found out after, that there were very _few_ areas of it that withstood the damage. We couldn't return to it for _years_ because of the systems, because of the security. All of it, was because of you."

"No it wasn't! I had nothing to do with anything that happened! The same thing would of happened to me if no one told them who I was!"

Scab walks over and crouches in front of me. I know without even trying, he's too far for me to reach.

"I guess it doesn't matter much now, huh pretty boy? You're a lot like that daddy of yours, aren't you? If I recall, you're his _exact_ copy, am I right?"

I spit in his face. Unfazed, Scab laughs as he wipes it with the back of his hand.

"Your _daddy_ took our home. So what if he was the best soldier to come from here? It doesn't matter to us anymore. I'm sure, he'll do anything, when he finds out _exactly_ who we have in our possession."

"My father won't believe you."

"Oh. I think he will. Especially since we not only have your sister, but your weapons, your pack, and _his_ combat knife."

"If you harm one hair on her head I swear to god…"

"You'll what? Spit at me? Bleed on me? There's nothing you can do. And, to be honest, she agreed to work with us."

My eyes widen. My suspicions in the beginning, were right. But…_why_?

"…What did you do to her?"

"Oh, nothing. She did it all of her own free will. Her loyalty, in exchange for the truth."

"The truth? Dizzy knows everything! She knows who our parents were!"

"No. She didn't know _every_thing. And really she was quite torn up about it all. Imagine, finding out the person you trust most, is nothing but a liar and a cheat."

"I am _not_ a cheat. I lied to _protect_ her."

"From what, Cain? Your carnal desires? Obviously, that didn't work."

He throws his put-out cigarette butt in my face, and laughs. Standing up, the door opens as he gets closer to it. His body blocks my view, but Scab looks back, and smiles at me.

"Speak of the devil! Here she is now!"

Dizzy walks in, and Scab puts an arm around her. She doesn't lean into him, instead she looks away, at the wall to her left.

"I'll let you two sort out your differences. Remember Dizzy, _no funny business_."

The tone he uses with her angers me. Even though I know I'm here because of her, it doesn't matter. She's stupid, she's impressionable, she'll believe anyone anything tells her so long as it fits whatever her mindset is. It's the one thing my parents couldn't teach her not to do. In her search for a life, for something more than what she had, Dizzy's mind stayed soft to the pressures of other people. I can't blame her, when really, she did it because I didn't tell her the real truth. Maybe if I had…neither one of us would be in this situation.

Scab leaves, and Dizzy and I stare at one another in a stiff silence.

"…What've you done?"

I ask her, all hope from my voice gone and lost. Dizzy lights two cigarettes, and walks over to me. She hands me one, as I sit up against the padded wall. She looks away from me, not answering.

"Dizzy. Look at me."

With her eyes, she does. But her head is turned away from me, so she sees me only from the corners. I would have done anything for her, even told the truth, if she had just _asked_. I take a deep drag of my cigarette, as Dizzy balances on her feet, with her knees to her face. She looks like a scared child, and I realize, that's all she is.

"…I told you, you'd be safe when you woke up."

"That doesn't matter, Dizzy. Do you know the extent of the damage you've just done? Do you know that you've just put mom and dad in danger?"

The look on her face, tells me she doesn't know. She shakes her head, and then shrugs.

"Mom and dad'll be fine. They always were, right?"

"They didn't have _kids_ before, Dizzy. We're here, and you _know_ dad is going to do all he can to ensure our safety."

"So the Raiders let you go, and let me go, no harm no fowl."

"No, Dizzy. No. They have it out for dad."

"Dad's strong."

"Not against numbers. He's _one_ man, Diz. _One_."

"No he's not, he's _two_."

She falls on her butt, and stares at me while she smokes. I see the hurt and pain in her face.

"…That has nothing to do with what you've done."

"That's why you're not immune to radiation, isn't it? That's why you got sad, when I asked you if you'd be here forever with me, huh? Because you _won't_ be. Because…you're not from mom and dad."

"Dizzy…I know right now it's really hard to accept the truth. I know right now you're really confused, but trust me when I say this _isn't_ the way to go about things. This…this is not the solution."

"How can I trust you, when all that I've known you to be was a lie? How do you think it felt, to believe for so long you were my brother? With all these feelings, these emotions for you, and then I find out you _lied_…you're not…you're not my brother."

"We have the same DNA, it doesn't matter! We're related in some sense!"

She shakes her head, blinking away tears. I finish my cigarette, and hand it to her to put out. She does so on her boot, and does the same for hers.

"Did you…did you ever really see the information? The records of _how_ you were made?"

I shake my head at her, curious as to what information she obtained. We're back at the facility, beneath the Citadel Ruins. I know, that here, information is preserved. Any information you want, on any of the soldiers taught here over time, is available. No matter, how destroyed.

"…Then you don't know, that…"

"That _what_?"

"You only have a small amount of dad. That the rest of you was created from falsified and created genetics. That…that…you're…"

"I'm what, Dizzy? _Tell me_!"

My heart pounds in my chest, eager to know the truth about my own past.

"Why? Why should I tell you anything, when you didn't tell me?"

I stare at her, dumbfounded. Selfish, childish…the traits I find endearing are now working against me.

"Because I need to know. Or else…I won't know how to handle myself. Dizzy, if you've ever cared about me, you'll tell me."

"You're just a creation, Cain. They used dad as a blueprint, and the rest…the rest is all, mush. The best way I can describe it, is that you're the best android ever, only, you have real insides. But they're not really real, they're created. Ya know?"

Androids out here, often come from Rivet City. They're built to be security guards, and only have a short lifespan. Inside, they're machine. If you cut one, they won't feel it, and you'll see wires and technology. But I've been cut, injured. I bleed, I feel, and my lifespan is however long I live. What Dizzy is saying, is that…I was simply molded after my father. Everything else…everything else was really created in a lab. They wanted me to look like him, share his height, share his strength, but…they didn't want me to _be_ him. Discovering…discovering the truth of my existence, as far as I can believe, causes me to slump over. I'm not…_human_. I am, I can feel and see and touch, taste and smell, but inside…I wonder, what I would look like.

"…You're as real as it gets, as real as me or mom or dad. But…you were never a baby, Cain."

"My earliest memory…I was…I was…"

"Three. That's not a baby. That's…a toddler. No one taught you to walk, no one taught you to speak. It was already there. You came out of the tube, as a toddler."

"Dizzy, how do you know this."

She sighs, and curls up into a ball, her knees hiding her face.

"They showed me. When they got you here, Scab held up his end of the deal. He brought me downstairs, and showed me the room you were made it. He gave me complete access to all the files, records. Cain, I _saw_ the tube. I saw it. It was really there. Everything…made sense."

"What made sense?"

"Why radiation didn't work. Why…I never felt…like we were _really_ brother and sister. There was always something, telling me it was okay to…to…"

She stops to wipe her face. I hear her sniff her nose, and I let my face fall.

"If you let me out, Dizzy, I won't be angry. I won't…I won't get mad. We have to tell mom and dad. We have to…we have to tell them."

"I can't, Cain. I can't do that. I'm here, now. This is my home."

"And you're going to let mom and dad die? Let them give their lives, to save us when they're just going to kill us in the end?"

"…It doesn't matter, if they hurt you, because any good mechanic or doctor can fix you."

"What?"

She points to her head.

"You'd need a mechanic _and_ a doctor, and no matter how dead you seem, you can come back. Unless they don't bother."

"But you said…I'm _not_ a machine."

"You're not, but someone has to fix the machines that grew you, so then you can grow again."

Tears form in my eyes, and I feel like I really am a machine. A machine, that just discovered the truth about themselves. I guess I'm no different. I was grown, every part of me, grown for me. I am an abomination. Letting my head fall, I don't try to hide the pain. I don't try, to hide anything anymore.

"…You know, this whole time I always believed I was an abomination. But at least then, I believed I came from _someone_. Now…now I know I didn't come from anybody."

I lift my head to look at her, and in her face, I see she's far more lost than I am.

"So you're right. It doesn't matter, if I die here. When you see mom and dad, at least…at least tell them you love them. They'll want to hear it, and if you can…tell them the truth about me."

"Don't they know?"

"No. They…they thought the same thing I did. That someone…simply cloned me from dad. They have no idea…that I'm nothing more than a high-class android that the scientists in Rivet City would envy."

Dizzy didn't know this, and I see her face fall. She stares at me, and gets on her hands and knees like she's crawling.

"I thought…mom and dad knew. I…thought…they did."

"…No, Diz. They know…as much as I did a few minutes ago."

The shock is temporary on her face. In her mind, she finds an excuse to justify her actions.

"It doesn't matter, anyways. Being what you are, I'm sure that…nothing you feel is real, anyways."

"It _is_ real! When I got shot it hurt! When I comforted you I felt sympathy! When I…"

"When you kissed me you felt nothing."

"No! No that's _not true_! I felt…wrong…because I had thought…"

"We were related."

"Yes."

"Well we're not."  
"Aside from that I felt things that your selfish mind couldn't even comprehend!"

"Shut up!"

"No! You shut up! You've been putting others in danger for _years_ with these Raiders! You finally did it, Dizzy! You've gotten the truth! Now mom and dad are going to come here, and they're going to _die_ because you don't have the ability to see the bigger picture!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

"No you _listen_! Look around at what you've done! You drugged me! You put me in cuffs! And you know what'll happen after mom and dad lay down their lives? Do you know?"

"I said _stop it_!"

"They're going to _kill_ you too! They don't need you! They're using you and you were stupid enough to buy it!"

She starts to sob in front of me, angry and defeated. She's not mature enough, though, to try and fix her mistakes.

"_You_ don't know the bigger picture!"

Stuck in her ways, she tries so hard to pin the blame and guilt on me. When, really, this is all her fault.

"Yes I do! I do!"  
"Then what _is _it?"

"Not this that's for damned sure!"

I raise my hands to show her the redness around my wrists that the cuffs are making. She stops sobbing just long enough to see them, and it makes her cry again. I pull at the chains, trying to reach her.

"Come here, Dizzy."

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me! I _hate_ you!"

"I know, I know. I know you hate me, okay? It's okay, you can hate me all you want, alright? But come here. Come here, _please_."

Tears are streaming down my face. I realize, she _can't_ understand. Her sheltered life is working against her. Youthfully stupid, without the advice and training from our father, Dizzy has no idea…how to accept and deal with this. Accept that she fucked up severely, and that these emotions are perfectly normal. It's normal, for her to hate me, because she has no other way to express anything. Like a pre-teen girl who feels she's smarter than the rest of the world. Dizzy can't understand, why even though she says she hates me, why even after she did all this, I still want to comfort her. I guess…it's because…knowing what I do, I just love her even more, because now…it's okay to love her.

The noise of my shackles scares her. She starts to hyperventilate, just out of my reach. If she just leaned forward, maybe I could help.

"Dizzy…Dizzy please, calm down, _please_…"

"You…you…you…I…_hate_…"

"I know, Diz, it's okay. It's okay…We can fix this, just come here…"

I see she's going to. She's going to come, and sit with me, but then behind her…the door opens. Through strands of my hair, I see Scab walking in, a smug look on his face.

"Well, I see this reunion turned out well considering."

He takes Dizzy's hand, and helps her to her feet. I watch as he wraps his arms around her, and begins to lead her away. But she doesn't lean on him for support, she doesn't cry to him. Instead, she stares blankly at him, with fresh tears pouring down her face.

"Wait! Wait!"

I cry, trying to stand, but my restraints pull me back.

"You've had enough time."

"I'll give you all the information you want for ten more minutes!"

Scab stops just before the doorway. Both he and Dizzy turn to look at me.

"Listen, Scab, Dizzy spent all her time with you. She would leave home, and go do whatever it is you guys did together. But _I_ didn't. I was with my father. I was being trained. I can tell you more than she can, about anything you want to know. Just give me _more time_."

"How much time, and how much information?"

"I can tell you every weak point my father has…_and_ my mother."

Scab thinks this over. It feels like ages go by. Ages, where I remain silent, and wait for his answer.


	16. Chapter 16

"…Let me comfort her. Let me talk to her, and calm her down. In return for that time, I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"And all you want, is more time?"

I nod my head, hoping within the time allotted, I can make a plan.

"What's the catch?"

"More time, more information. It can be over one day, or over several days, but you don't _have_ time."

"What do you mean?"

I play on a complete bluff. But, my father always taught me, to be one-step ahead of your opponent. And even if you're wrong, then you know that's not an option, and can play on others. The process of elimination. If A and C don't work, than it's either B or D. Having two, is better than four in this case.

"You've sent scouts out by now I'm sure. Because you know time is _against_ you. You want to tell our parents as quickly as you can. They're going to be here, and be here fast. You're going to need this information. Think about who you're dealing with. You weren't alive, when they were in their prime."

"They're old now, Cain. There's no way they can be as dangerous as the rumors say."

"Or so you think, Scab. But my parents, are _very_ youthful, and _very_ well-connected. Leave Dizzy here, and I'll tell you. An hour with her, gives you an hours' worth of information. As much as I can tell you, within that hour. Do we have a deal?"

"I think you're bluffing."

I smirk at him, and look at Dizzy.

"Let her go for a minute."

He does because he trusts her. Because as long as I'm chained to these walls, despite how she feels, she has to listen to him. Or risk me being hurt. I may be nothing more than a complex system of scientifically grown organs, but I have my own mind. And, I have my father's size, strength, and advice to rely on.

"My mother and father fought against and disbanded the top military bases in the Capital Wasteland. To them, you and your gang of Raiders is like shooting Molerats in a dead-end tunnel."

He's probably never heard the truth about our parents, because Dizzy was unable to tell him. Because _she_ didn't know. My parents in wanting to keep her sheltered, for once, did some good. I see Scab's face fall, as I relay this bit of information to him.

"What else?"

"Give me an hour, and I'll tell you. This information is gold, because if the Brotherhood had it, I assure you they wouldn't have fallen, to the hands of _two_ people."

Scab, like everyone else, has heard of the Brotherhood. They still have working factions in New California Republic, so their works there travels to here. I'm sure the thought of why they don't come here, has crossed Scab's mind a many times. Now, he knows the truth, or a bit of it.

"You have_ one_ hour. If you do _anything_, I swear I'll kill you _both_."

Scab says, before grabbing Dizzy's face with his hand. I want to kill him as I see this, but I keep myself in check.

"Remember, girl, your place."

He tosses her moist face from his hand, and leaves the room. Dizzy starts sobbing again, loudly, and it hurts my ears.

"Dizzy, calm down, alright, calm down."

She falls down, and shakes her head.

"What…what…did…I…do?"

Her hands cover her face in shame. It dawns on me, that the realization of reality hit her. For the first time, she has to take responsibility for her actions. Pulling at my shackles, I feel them tug against the wall. I can't reach her.

"Come here, come here Dizzy, we can fix this."

"No…we…_can't_!"

Then, I realize that maybe…I'm going about this the wrong way. An hour may seem like more than enough time for some people, but in this situation, it's simply not enough.

"Goddamnit Dizzy! Get your ass over here and stop acting like a brat!"

I yell at her, and she suddenly stops her sobbing. Tears still fall down her face, and as much as I want to smile at her, I force myself not to.

"You created this mess, and now you have to fix it! Get over here!"

"What'll that accomplish?"

"Fine! Be difficult! I don't have time for this!"

I look down at my wrists, and put my hands close to my face. The cuffs made them red, and raw. This is going to hurt me, but it's the only way. I notice big padlocks keep them on, and there's nothing for Dizzy to use to pick them open. Not that she's in the state of mind to, but either way, I realize the sacrifices. The sacrifices, my mother and father made, to keep one another safe. The scars on my mother's body, are a reflection of all the bullets, people, creatures and beings she went up against, to make this world what it is now. Anything good, is worth pain and suffering.

Wrapping my left hand around my right cuff, I start to twist it. The pain is nothing compared to what it soon will be. My right hand is my dominant one, so I have to get it out first.

"Cain?"

I ignore Dizzy, as I rub harder and harder. The rusted metal scrapes painfully against my skin, and soon, blood.

"Cain! Stop it!"

Dizzy rushes over and tries to pull my hands away from one another. I look up, angry.

"Stop it! Sit down! I'm fixing this!"

"…Cain…"

She says, sitting down just as I told her. I flinch in pain, as the blood begins to leak out more and more. I have to be careful not to rub deep enough to scrape my veins, but rub enough so the blood can be a lubricant. When my palm is moist, I test it. The blood acts as a slick oil, and I'm able to slide the cuff up to my thumb, where it meets my palm. Without help, I won't be able to get it all the way off. Holding my hand so my fingers point towards the ground, I let the blood drip off of them.

"Dizzy, I need you to do something, okay? Can you do this?"

Her face is horrified at my actions, but I pay no mind to it.

"Dizzy!"

"…Yes. I…I think so."

"I need you to pull this cuff off of me. I need you to ignore any cries of pain I give, can you do that?"

She nods her head, and I give her my bloodied hand. Her small fingers wrap around the cuff, and I outstretch my legs.

"Put your feet against mine. When you pull, I'll push."

Placing our feet together, I let her eyes meet mine.

"One…two…three!"

Working with and against one another, Dizzy pulls the cuff. The pain I feel, hurts more than being shot. Because it's a slow pain, as the cuff inches slowly over my thumb. Finally, not soon enough, it's off. Dizzy falls as the cuff slides from her fingers. With my right hand free, I flex my fingers, and wasting no time, get to work on the other one.

"Stop it! I won't let you do that again…I…I won't…"

I stare at her, her hands stained with my blood.

"There's no other way."

"Yes, there is."

She stands up, and takes my ruined hand in hers. I can only stand at a slouch, but I think I see where this is going. Dizzy lets go of my hand, and wraps her hands around the chain that bolts me to the wall.

"…If we both pull, we can break it off the wall."

"But I'll still have the cuff around my wrist."

"Cain, we don't have weapons. Think about this."

I do, and I laugh as I realize where Dizzy's mind went. Without a weapon, against a few with weapons, Dizzy saw the ingenuity in keeping at least one cuff and chain on my wrist.

"There aren't many guards near the exit, because apparently this place isn't well-known. Our stuff is in a footlocker on the way out."

"How do you know this? When did you get so smart?"

"I _am_ the product of the two best killers in the Capital Wasteland, Cain. And Scab told me, in case someone infiltrated. Because I convinced him I only know how to shoot my own weapon."

"How'd you do that? Even Gob knows that's complete bullshit."

"A man will believe anything with a good set of tits hanging in his face."

For once, I'm proud of her. Proud of how she used her womanly assets to gain information.

"You…sly dog. Wait, did you…did you know all along that…"  
"That I'd be switching sides? Of course not, but mom always told me to prepare for _anything_. So I did. And…once I realize that…despite all I knew about you, I still cared about you, and mom and dad, I knew I didn't want to be responsible for their deaths. Or…for you hating me."

I smile down at her. We both know now, neither one of us are related. Despite what I am, Dizzy just admitted she still loves me, or at least cares, just the same.

"Knowing what I am…Dizzy you…"

"We won't tell mom and dad the truth right away. Right now, we need to get out, and tell them about the Raiders. There's a lot more than I thought, and if they launch an attack on mom and dad without them knowing then…well, Megaton is fucked."

"Still can't comprehend how you did all of this. Did you go into this wanting information, to help mom and dad?"

"No I'm not that selfless, stupid. I…wanted to know the truth. Now that I do, and knowing you don't hate my guts and mom and dad really knew jack shit, I have no reason to stay here."

"Why not? Don't you like Scab?"

"He's revolting and bathes like, never. I'd rather fuck you instead, even if you smell sometimes, too."

We laugh, and Dizzy shakes her head.

"I'll explain everything, best I can cuz my mind is a bit insane sometimes, _after_ we get out. Deal?"

"Yeah, deal."

"Okay, on the count of three, we both have to pull really, really hard. They just put these in, and they're not the best workers in the world. Both of us should be able to rip it out."

Dizzy, surprised me. Here I was thinking I'd have to hold her hand and cradle her every step. But, I don't. She's thinking on her own, she's planning on her own, and it only reinforces in my mind…that she truly is the product of both our parents. She…has both their minds into her one. If there was anything mom and dad couldn't do, Dizzy sure as hell can.

"One…two, three!"

We pull together, using all our strength and utilizing our energy. We hear a loud creaking noise, as if the cubicle room is yelling at us.

"One more! Go!"

Pulling again, we use all of our efforts. The already loosened bolds snap free, and we fall on the floor in a heap. Dizzy's body topples on top of mine, and she rests for a minute, taking deep breaths in and out.

"Right. Now, we have to plan."

"Plan?"

She points to the door, and I want to rush out. As I go to stand and run, Dizzy pulls on the chain that's still attached to my wrist.

"Wait a second there."

I look back at her, and she sits on the floor. Confused, but willing to listen, I sit down with her.

"That door only opens from the _outside_."

"But Scab opened it earlier."

"No he didn't, _I_ did, remember? Look. When he comes back, we're going to have to get him _before_ that door closes. If not we're trapped in here. Now. He usually has one or two guys with him, standing outside the door so that way they can open it. That's three against two. Following?"

"Yup."

"So after we get out, we'll instantly have two other people ready to attack us. After we take care of them, there's another two at the exit. But all this will have to be done really, really fast because if anyone else hears the commotion they'll all come after us, and we're not mom and dad. We can't take on a full-scale riot."

"And do they all have weapons."

"Yup, but they're really bad."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they're not taken care of. They jam a lot, and most of them don't know how to aim for shit. Why else would they attack in groups? Because _none_ of them know how to shoot."

I nod my head at her. Dizzy knows a good amount, because of all the time she spent with the Raiders. I have to admit, they definitely could use her to their advantage, and knowing all of what she knows, Dizzy would make quite the dangerous Raider. But I can tell, she doesn't want to be one. If she did, she wouldn't have helped me escape.

"You seem to have thought about this."

"No, I didn't. I just know because I was dumb enough to hang out with them."

"Oh, so you're a good guy now?"

She shrugs, and lays down on the padding.

"I didn't say that. I just said I don't want to be a Raider."

"Why, anyways?"

"Because they'd kill you. And I don't want to have a lot of fun here, without you there to have fun with."

I'm about to say something, when Dizzy suddenly sits up.

"We need to look like you're still chained to the wall when Scab walks in."

"Huh?"

"If he sees you sitting in the middle of the room, we're both gonna get locked in here, and then we're both screwed. Mom and dad, too."

"Right so I'll sit against the wall. But, the door could close if he gets too far in."

Dizzy thinks about this for a bit. She chews on her lip, and then comes to a conclusion.  
"I'll wait by the door. I don't have weapons, but if I can get out, I can snatch one off of one of his guards. You keep him in here, and I'll come back for you. Kill him, Cain, you _have_ to."

"Won't his guards hear?"

"No. Scab said this room is soundproof because of all the padding. Once the door closes, make your move. I'll make sure the guards suspect nothing."

"How?"

Dizzy smiles at me, and grabs her breasts in her hands.

"In ways a woman can, stupid."

"No, don't whore yourself out like that."

"I won't. But have you _seen_ the Raider girls? They're all scabbed up and junked out. One that isn't is a rarity."

"Alright, whatever."

I say, and getting up I go slump against the wall I was just chained to. I don't really agree with Dizzy's plan of distracting the guards, but, there's not much else she can do. I have to stay in here, and handle Scab which won't be too hard as long as he things I'm still stuck. Plus, you do what you must for freedom. My bloody hand is proof of that.

Dizzy picks herself up, and crawls over to me. She lays down with her body stretched out in front of me, and her head in my lap.

"But I'm not giving back this outfit. I like it way too much."

"You seem calmer now."

She shrugs, and lifts her head to look at me. I haven't had time to fully digest the information I was given about myself. I know there's time for that later, but I can't help thinking about it now.

"Because… I know the truth now. And…I know it'll be okay."

"Dizzy, how can you think that when…when you know the truth?"

Stubbornly, she lifts herself up using her hands. She looks at me with her eyes defiant.

"I still care about you. You're a real human being. I don't care how that came to be, I only wanted to know why I felt what I did and thought what I did. And our new mission, as soon as we haul ass out of here and talk to mom and dad, is to go directly to Barrows."

"What? Why?"

"You _will_ be immune to radiation. I don't care what it takes."

"Dizzy…"

"You're not going to die before me! I won't let it!"

She's back to acting like a child again, but somehow, this…this really moves me. She's so adamant on not losing me, that she's really willing to double back home, and turn around to Rivet City to find out a way to make me immune. If there is a way, Dr. Barrows would know about it.

"What if…because of how I was created…I _can't_ be? I may be human, but I'm a…a human in other sorts."

"Cain, if you want, I'll steal the documents. You _can_ be. You _are_ real. You're not some Rivet City android, you are really real. You look like dad and have his traits because they wanted that, but your DNA and his, is entirely different."

"How?"

"DNA is pretty complex, you know. You really can't make a copy of it like you can copy a map. It's different. Which means, no, we hold no semblance to one another. You only look like him because that's how they wanted you to look."

"But I act like him…"

"Probably because you spent a lot of time around him, and believed you were him for a really long time. It's really difficult, and we can argue it all night."

"So, you find out the real truth and all of a sudden aren't interested in Scab or Raiders, huh?"

She waves her hand dismissively.

"Hey, they're double-crossers. They should have known when they were being double-crossed."

Dizzy says it so nonchalantly. I wonder if her mood swings are healthy? Rolling onto her back, Dizzy smiles at me upside down. I smile back at her. Against our situation, against her own faulty actions, I'm glad we can still smile. She reaches for my hands, and I let her take them. One still shackled, one bloody, she holds them over her head, playing, like she would when she was just a baby.

She's grown a lot over the years. Not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally. It's hard for me to believe, that she's in the same exact skin now, as she was when she was a baby. Maybe…because she's a girl, is why my parents treated us differently. Boys, we're strong. We continue onwards, and our limits constantly tested. But I know, that if it wasn't for my mother, I'd never be half the man I am today. Her unconditional, unfaltering, never-ending care helped create me, just as my father's training did. Those skinned knees and elbows, weren't healed by training. Instead, it was my mother's soft touch, and kind words, that helped me get back on my feet to continue the training. One day, Dizzy will be a mother. She'll be that nurturing, warm and safe outlet, for a little boy or girl.

As her smiling face stares back at mine, I close my fingers around hers. I wouldn't love her half as much, if she never gave me the time of day growing up. If she didn't chase after me, begging me to play with her, to hold her hand, to keep her safe. Doing those things, at such a small age, helped me learn lessons. Helped me feel sympathetic towards others, and fuels the protection and care I have for her now. I know, if I'm sad, it'll be my mother, or Dizzy I turn to. Because the warmth of a woman's heart, is really what keeps men going. At least, that's my philosophy. My father, told me that, so many years ago. He also told me…that to Dizzy, I was everything. I was her weight, her support, and all the things she could ever need. In return for being that for her, he said, I can go to her for anything. Women, he said, always want to help. You just have to ask, or else…they won't know.

"Hey…Cain?"

Dizzy's voice is soft, as she squeezes my hands.

"Yeah?"

"Are you…are you going to use this against me? Hold it over my head?"

"No."

"Why?"

"People make mistakes. You're…to be honest you're really easy to fool and kid. You just got fooled."

"I wouldn't have if you told me the truth."

"My truth, was different than the truth you discovered."

"Yeah, but I would have accepted it."

I shake my head at her, still smirking.

"No, you wouldn't have. I know you, you would have wanted to find it out on your own. Even if the information had matched, you still would have sought it out."

"You really do know me, huh?"

"I grew up with you, Diz. I know you better than anyone else."

She nods, letting her hands fall. She brings them down to her stomach, and rests them there, with mine still tangled in.

"Yeah…I guess you do. So, what do we do, until Scab arrives?"

I shrug, not knowing what she has in mind.

"We can talk. We can, sit in silence. Go over the plan once more?"

"No, we know the plan. And I can't keep quiet for very long."

Looking at her arms, I notice a large bruise. It wasn't there the other night. Lowering my head, I look at it more closely. Pulling my bloody hand from hers, I match it up to the bruise. There's four fingers, and a thumb.

"Diz? Who grabbed you?"

Lifting her head, she glances down at it.

"Oh, that. Scab grabbed me."

"Why so hard?"

She shrugs, and sits up. Turning around, she faces me as she crosses her legs.  
"Dunno."

It makes my blood boil, to see that bruise. To know some deadbeat Raider, gave it to her. For no real reason, either, apparently. Dizzy sees the anger in my face, sees my jaw clenched, and tries her best to distract me.

"Hey, you know what?"

I blink, and look at her.

"What?"

"After this, when we get back to mom and dad, we can tell them that we escaped all by ourselves. They're gonna be proud."

"Yeah. Yeah whatever you say, Dizzy."

Really, I think they're going to be quite pissed off. We're not out here a week, and already we found trouble. Or, rather, _Dizzy_ found trouble. Which probably won't surprise them much, since Dizzy is a part of mom, and according to my dad, if I may quote 'That damned woman could find trouble even if it was locked in Fort Knox'. I'm not sure what Fort Knox is, but it sounds mighty secure.

"I want to dance!"

"There's nothing to dance about, Diz. Nor is it really the best time."

"Yeah…I guess you're right. But, you liked my dance last night, right? You weren't lying?"

"The only thing to make it better, would be if I could hear the music to go with it."

She smiles wide, as if I've just given her the elixir of life.

"I'm glad you liked it. I was a bit worried you wouldn't."

"Why would it matter, if I liked it or not?"

"Because I want your approval on things sometimes, sort of. Not really. But still."

I sigh, and shake my head. Running my fingers through my hair, I think I'll get it cut soon. Just a trim. Should I really be thinking of that right now? Boredom sets in fast, and with time to spare, I guess I just let my mind wander. Dizzy moves a bit closer to me, putting her head on my shoulder as she sits beside me. I mess her hair up a bit, in a gesture of endearment.

"This whole thing is exhausting."

"What is?"

I ask her, curious about what she's talking about.

"You know. This whole…running around the Wasteland and stuff. How'd mom do it?"

"I have no clue. I'm sure though in her first few days, she didn't get herself into this much trouble."

"No, probably not. But she was reckless. I've always wondered where she got all her scars from, especially the one across her face. I guess now I know."

"There isn't anything now, you _don't_ know. Except some of the more personal aspects of their life, but even I don't know that. Nor do I want to."

"That's disgusting."

"Exactly."

Putting my arm around her, Dizzy sighs and yawns. She's tired, probably because last night she didn't get much sleep. I'm not sure what time it is, but it can't be too late in the day. Probably morning, or mid-afternoon. Definitely not evening.

"We'll have to beat the scouts back home. Or we'll miss mom and dad and they'll run into trouble."

"That won't be hard."

Dizzy says to me, and I look down at her.

"Oh yeah? How do you know?"

"Most of the time, the scouts don't get there in less than a week. Mainly because they're busy getting high and messing with people along the way."

"You know a lot about them."

"I spent a lot of time hanging out with them. Hey, what about Erica?"

"What about her?"

She looks up at me, her big eyes seeming a bit bigger.

"You gonna take her back? Ya know, I mean, we're going back to Megaton so you're bound to see her."

"Yeah, you're right on that one."

"…Did you ever love her?"

I shake my head, and rest it on top of hers.

"No, never. I was attached, but, nothing like love."

"…Why'd she leave you?"

"Because I told her what I really was."

"That's stupid. And then she comes back to you? And then tells the whole damned town you two are all lovey dovey?"

"I guess so."

"…She's fucking stupid."

"Dizzy?"

Pulling away from me, Dizzy stares at me, defensive and angry. Where on Earth did this come from?

"You _don't_ mess with someone's feelings like that. It's wrong. You know what? Her mother was a Raider whore, how's that? I know _all_ about her mother, and how she fucked anything with a dick and a pulse. I think the whole town would love to hear the stories I have to tell."

"Dizzy don't bring her personal issues into this. In fact, why are you even involved in this?"

"Because she hurt you. And I won't forgive her for that."

"But she's your friend."

"No. I don't _need_ friends, and I don't _want_ friends. They're useless."

"If you say so."

Dizzy nods, and I think her anger is because she knows Erica hurt me. I can't figure any other reason. But in the midst of my thinking, Dizzy suddenly gets anxious.

"…I think Scab is coming, Cain. I think so."

"How do you know?"

"I just…I don't. I'm nervous."

Because of her nerves, we spend the rest of the time on opposite ends of the room. I look like I'm still chained, and she looks defeated and sad. If she looks bright and happy when Scab walks in, he'll instantly know something is up. I give Dizzy the GNR award for her acting skills. She really knows how to put on the sad face. I think that's from giving it to dad, though, when she really wants something and he won't give it up.


	17. Chapter 17

Eventually, the moment of truth comes. The door opens, and Scab stands just below where it'll close. He looks at Dizzy, who gives him big, wet eyes.

"Times up."

Dizzy shudders her bottom lip, but nods and slips out. As Scab steps out from the doorway, it closes behind him. He walks over to me, out of what he thinks is arms reach. Dizzy and I have to be in sync, because if that door opens and Scab _isn't_ dead, we're going to have a fortress of Raiders with weapons on our backs. That, won't be easy to handle in the least.

"I believe you owe me, an hour's worth of information. You know, I wonder what you adoptive parents would say, if they found out both their children turned against them?"

I shrug, smirking.

"Well, I guess they'd say we're pretty smart."

"Smart?"

"For tricking you."

He raises an eyebrow and crouches down. Raiders aren't the brightest bulbs in the box, because he does _exactly _what I want him to do.

"What're you getting at? What the hell did you tell her?"

I shrug, and keep the smirk on my face.

"How stupid and pathetic Raiders really are."

Without anymore words or hesitation, I use my shackled wrist to give me leeway. The force of me swinging it allows the chain to wrap around his neck. Grabbing it with both hands, I use my weight and bulk to knock him off of his misbalanced feet. It's easy, to pin him down, while he struggles and gasps for air below me.

"I saw that bruise you left, Scab. I saw it, and I swear…if you did anything else to her, anything I will come back here, and tear your rotting corpse to shreds."

I whisper in his ear. The threat to him doesn't matter. He's too busy struggling and trying to pull the thick chain from his neck. But it doesn't matter, it's of no use. There's no way he'll be able to pull the heavy chain off, because I'm the person holding it there. I want a silent, and quick death, even though he deserves neither. For hurting Dizzy, I want him to suffer, want to hear him scream. But I can't trust that this room is completely soundproof, nor can I trust that I'll have the time.

As his body falls limp, his engorged tongue hanging from his mouth and his rotted teeth framing it, I loosen the chain. I know when someone dies, it's something my father taught me to see. Standing up, I untwist the chain from around his neck, and stand by the door. I can't hear what's going on, on the other side, so instead I wait patiently.

With one chain attached to my wrist, and the other firm in my hands, I know I have deadly weapons. Anything, can be a weapon, with the right mind. Dizzy, has that right mind. Not that I wouldn't have thought of the same thing, but she thought of it quicker. The wait isn't long for me, because as soon as the door opens I see Dizzy against the left wall, where I assume the door latch is.

"You guys _really_ shouldn't be this close, I was only kidding. And someone might get _really_ mad."

She says, a playful tone in her voice. The two Raiders that acted as guards block her against the wall. She sees me between them, as I step out and turn.

"Oh, Scab won't mind, will ya buddy?"

One of them says, turning to me. Their faces drop, as they realize, I am not Scab.

"I do mind. Very, very much."

I know what they wanted to do to her. I know, and it infuriates me. Quickly Dizzy fixes her top, and takes their distraction as an opportunity. She punches one of them square in the side of the neck, as hard as she can. Strangulation is the best way to fight them, with the weapons we have at hand. Plus, it's quick and silent. The two of us each take one, as I toss her my spare and unchained chain. Together, we subdue and rid ourselves of them. As soon as I nod my head, since she doesn't know how to tell when someone is dead by strangulation, we set off, with me following her.

"Good timing. Any longer and my clothes would have been nonexistent."

"I wouldn't have let that happen."

I say as I keep up. She hears the anger in my voice, and glances back at me.

"You're really protective, aren't you?"

"Yup."

She shakes her head, as we come to a familiar set of stairs. There's no guards, and Dizzy seems a bit shocked by this. There is, however, the footlocker.

"There."

Pointing to it, she moves aside for me to lift the lid. Sure enough, our weapons are there. I grab my gun, and the pack, and toss her own weapon to her.

"Raiders aren't very reliable, so I guess it's not surprising they're not here."

"Makes it a lot easier for us."

"Sure does, Cain. I'd call you 'brother' but, you're not."  
"Point taken."

We're rushing to reload our weapons. Dizzy drops the spare chain, and I wish I could do the same. But with it being padlocked on, I'm stuck until either we get home, or she finds something to pick it with. This isn't the basis of our worries, though. We still have to get _out_ of this place, and if I remember there's two levels to go up before that happens. Clipping in my magazine, I ready my weapon to fire. At the same time, I hear Dizzy close the chamber to her Magnum, and look at me.

"There's never Raiders upstairs. They want to keep this place secret. We can run right out into the open."

"How much of a radius do we have?"

"They never watch the outside. Like I said, they're smart enough to know activity causes attention."

"Right, let's go."

This time, I lead her. I feel a tug around my wrist, and for a quick second I think it's snagged something. I look back as we head up the stairs, only to see Dizzy holding on to it. She looks at me, innocent.

"So we don't get separated."

Smart on her part. If someone were to grab her from behind, cover her mouth, I wouldn't have any idea until it was too late. At least now, if someone dares try that, the chain will tug or fall and I'll turn around. Later, when we're safe, I'll praise her for her quick thinking. Under stress, it seems she can be smart. Tactical, and level-headed. Maybe more of my father rubbed off on her than I gave her credit for. I never would have thought of half this shit, anyways.


	18. Chapter 18

We don't waste time in getting to the exit. I remembered when I was inside here, so many years ago, you needed a password as a last-ditch security effort to open the doors. For a while, as we jog through the narrow and rusted-steel corridor, I'm worried it'll still be there. If it is, we're screwed, because I never knew the password. Coming to it, I make sure not to hesitate and scare Dizzy, who still holds fast to the chain around my wrist.

Luckily, the door opens up. Dizzy and I get out, nearly unscathed.

"Where to now?"

Dizzy asks, but I don't answer. Instead, I turn away from the ruins. Leading Dizzy up and out, stomping through the twisted and broken steel of the Citadel Ruins. I feel safer as we get closer to the river. Even as we get to the edge, I don't stop.

"Cain!"

I know she calls my name, but I pretend not to hear her over the splashing. I know Dizzy doesn't want to follow, but she does. Resistance on the chain tells me she's still there, holding on. She follows me, until we pass beneath an old, broken bridge. Dizzy coughs, while I swim and lead us both to the shore. It's somehow…safer here. Not completely safe, but safer than being so close to the ruins. I don't know why, but I just feel it. Dizzy coughs, as our feet touch solid ground. She drops the chain, and the weight of it falling into the water pulls against my wrist. Standing up, we catch our breaths as we wade out to the dirt shore.

"What the hell was that for?"

Dizzy demands, dragging herself from the water. Collapsing on the dirt, she leaves her legs in the water just enough to soak. Closing her eyes beneath the hot sun, she covers her face with her palm. It's alright, for us to rest for just a bit.

"We had to get away."

I tell her, as I sit beside her.

"We could have _ran_."

"Swimming was easier. Faster. Shortcut."

Dizzy shakes her head, groaning and keeping her palm over her face. Resting my weight on my palms, I lean back and look upwards towards the sun. It's warm, hot really, and it'll dry me off quick. Glancing down at Dizzy, I watch as her stomach rises and falls with each deep-catching breath she takes. Curious, I lift my hand and see that the water cleaned away all the blood. All that remains now is a jagged, red and angry gash on my wrist from the constant chafing I did to get the cuff off. My other chain, the one still attaches, hangs halfway in the water. I know there's creatures in the river, but dad said that was a long time ago, and since it's fresh now, they're probably all dead. Either way, I'm not worried.

"Do we go home now?"

My head turns to face Dizzy. She stares at me, her palm blocking the sun from her eyes. They're open, wide, and crystal blue.

"Yeah. We go home, and tell mom and dad."

"They're going to be so mad at me…"

"We don't have to tell them the truth, Diz."

She shakes her head at me, rubbing her temples.

"No, we have to tell the truth."

The tone of her voice, how serious she is, surprises me. For a minute, I stare at her, blank and shocked. Dizzy blinks and shrugs, as if it isn't a big deal. To her, I guess it's not.

"Lying won't do me any good. At least if we tell the truth, mom and dad can be proud about that if nothing else. After all, when have I ever really owned up to anything?"

"You're right."

She's trying I'll give her that much. Usually, Dizzy would opt for the easy way out. The one with the least confrontation and least trouble from our parents.

"Come on, let's get going."

I say to her as I stand. Readjusting the pack on my back, I lower my hand to Dizzy. She takes it, and I pull her to her feet. A sloshing sound comes from her boots, and she looks down at them. I start to lea her towards home. In the same way we got here, we begin to walk, following the river.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

Dizzy catches up to me, and matches her pace with mine. Since I'm so much taller than her, it takes a lot for her to keep up. I try to slow my pace for her, but it doesn't work.

"Why aren't you mad at me? I'd be pissed if I were you."

I shrug, uncaring.

"We're alive, aren't we?"

"Yeah…"

"Alright then."

"It just seems you're taking all of this way too easy."

Shaking my head, I sigh. I'm really just exhausted.

"No. Just no sense in getting worked up over things I simply can't fix or improve."

"You really are like dad, you know that?"

Dizzy…you know, though, she's right. But how am I _supposed_ to act? Cry? Scream? Be angry? If I did any of those things, what would it really improve? What would it do? Nothing. I can't do anything, about what happened back there. I can't do into the past and stop Dizzy from being fooled and blinded by Raiders, nor can I stop her from discovering the truth. And, above all else, I can't stop myself from knowing the truth about how I was made. In the long run, at least I'll know. I know now, that it's okay, and that I wasn't a real freak for feeling the things I feel. In a different sense now, though, I'm an abomination. I've been dealing with that my entire life, though, so the change isn't too great.

I look down at Dizzy, expecting her to be cautiously looking about like she did on the way here. She isn't, though. Instead, she's biting her lip and staring off towards the horizon. This trip was shorter than expected, but with the newfound freedom I'm sure we'll be able to continue with it once the Raider situation is dealt with. If anything, Dizzy is feeling scared of how our parents will react.

They've never hit us, or anything like that. But we know when we disappoint them, and it bothers us when we anger them. Even before Dizzy knew the truth, she respected both our father and mother greatly. I could tell by the way she looked, when one of them would scold her. She knew, back then, there was something different about them. Something that demanded respect, even if the reason was unknown. Disappointing them now, after knowing the truth about everything, would be really hard on her. But, she has to learn somehow.

"You think they'll come after us?"

The fear in her voice causes me to walk a bit closer to her.

"Yeah, probably. But we've got a head start, and left their leader dead. They have distractions."

"Someone else is going to take over. I don't know who, but it's not hard to claim power there. It's really all stupid, if you ask me."

"What'd you see in him, anyways? He stank."

She laughs, and I like her laugh. I'm not in a bad mood, but I'm not in a good one either. Hearing her laugh like that brings me up a bit.

"Yeah he did. I didn't really see much of anything in him, except an opportunity."

"Opportunity?"

"Yup. Get ahead without making any commitments. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a full-blown woman, Cain. I can hustle and swing anything I want from guys so long as they're under the impression they'll get in my pants."

"You sound like mom."

Dizzy turns her head. Was she even listening to their story or hearing only the gory parts?

"What you mean?"

"I mean mom did that, too. She could swindle and take anything she ever wanted. Not that she did a lot with dad around, but on her own, she was self-sufficient."

"Mom's real pretty, isn't she?"

"That she is."

"I bet she had tons of guys drooling over her."

I remind myself Dizzy is still seventeen, and that guys make up a good portion of her mind. I wonder, though, is there room for me inside that mind of hers?

"I have to ask you something really serious."

Dizzy says, and I look down at her. For her age, for who her parents are, for everything that she is and has become, when Dizzy is serious, the entire world stops.

"Alright, shoot."

Her eyes avert mine, as she looks down at her feet. She's lucky that there's no poles sticking out of the ground, or she'd walk right into them.  
"It was okay…that…we kissed because…we're not really related, right?"

The question is serious. It hits me hard, and in a short amount of time I have to come up with a suitable answer. Saying it is alright, would open doors of unspeakable emotional opportunities. I'd be able to fulfill my urges, my wants, if she would let me. It wouldn't be wrong, because we have no relation to one another. Every fiber of my being wants to tell her it's okay. But, I can't. Because...even though it's alright, in so many ways, it's still wrong. And as much…as much as she wants me to be beside her out here. Keep her safe, protected and give her company and conversation…I don't know if I can. I don't know if out here, in the Capital Wasteland, is where I truly belong.

"It is okay, but I don't think we should let it happen again."

It's the most responsible and denying answer I've ever given in my entire life. I look away from Dizzy, as I feel her eyes burning into me. I try to keep my mind focused, and straight ahead at the simmering desert-like terrain in front of us. Heat causes the distance to look like it's moving, and as tired as I feel, I want to focus on that.

"Yeah…you're right."

Hearing those words, although enforce my right choice, kills me. Dizzy is right. I should be angry. I should be distraught at discovering the truth about myself. Furious with her, for pulling that stunt. And yet, I'm not. I'm not because, against all those things, Dizzy looked at me like I was still a person to her. I guess, the best way to explain it, is when dad told me mom treated him like an equal, despite everything else.

When I don't feel her eyes on me anymore, I look down. I never wanted to see her unhappy, you know. I never, wanted to be the cause for her pain, or for the sadness that I can see in the corners of her eyes. If liquor wasn't involved the other night, I could swear somewhere inside that head of hers, Dizzy cared for me in a strange way, too. But for our parents, for our reputations in Megaton, for everyone else, there is no way we could ever have a normal romance, or life, together. It would upset our parents. Upset the town. And word would travel across the Wasteland faster than the river rises with the rains. I know Dizzy's solution would be to run away, and find another land to live in, but I can't do that. Because I don't know if the Capital Wasteland is the place for me. I don't know anymore, due to what I am, if there's room for me to stay here after we help mom and dad. So, instead of filling her head with empty promises and hopes of the future, I say a silent goodbye to her. She was almost my lover, but, it wasn't really meant to be, anyways.

Mom and dad, told me a lot about this land. They entertained me late at night, with bedtime stories of their adventures and triumphs out here. Being out here now, I realize it's not the way they described it. Some things, are missing from their tale. Like, the loneliness. For miles and miles, there could be no one. Not a soul, not an enemy, not even an animal. Alone, you feel isolated, and insanity could easily set in. Yet, as strange as it sounds, I think you feel lonelier when you're traveling in silence with someone. When there's so much between you to say, but saying nothing is the best option. When you feel as if, you're drifting further and further apart from the only friend you have out here, even though you're walking right beside them.

I want to open my mouth and speak, but what can I say? After her question, and my answer, what words can I offer to comfort her? Entertain her? There's no real words to say anymore. I don't know if our relationship will be the same as it was, or as we wanted to repair it. All I can bank on, hope for, is that we'll make it to Megaton with no more hassle. And, hope that in her long future and life, she'll find happiness.


	19. Chapter 19

_Lupus7, I read your review on a different Dezbe story, but I'm addressing it here. Hopefully you stumble across this, because I would love to read whatever you have to publish on here. Just let me know when you do, and I'll be the first to click on it :)! I appreciate your review as well, and am very happy you've enjoyed the series so far! I hope you enjoy this one just as much!_

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We arrive in Megaton just as the morning sun starts to warm everything. The night before, Dizzy and I spoke little, ate even less, and slept none. For a while, I stared at the dying fire last night, wondering what the months ahead will bring. It's sort of lame, but I always mark days where I think of the future, and then when the future comes, I think back to those days. I don't know why I do that, it's something I've just started doing. Maybe it's because of all that's happened to me, in this short time, that makes me think of the future.

As we get closer to our home, I know that our parents will be there. Dad doesn't usually leave until noon, and mom only leaves when she has something to do. Most of the time, she stays home. Unless she goes out with dad. Either way, an impending shadow of doom looms over me, with each step we take. I think maybe it's because Dizzy will tell them all that happened, and I'm not sure of what our parents will do. They're not the screaming type, but I know the events we have to tell them about are definitely worth screaming over. The thought of my father raising his voice sends shudders up my spine.

"Cain?"

Dizzy's voice is weighted down, exhausted. She didn't sleep last night. I know because when I went to wake her, she didn't fight me or argue. Instead she stood up and silently we started walking. I look down at her, the front door to our home getting closer and closer.

"Yeah?"

Her big, almond eyes stare up at me like I have all the answers to all the questions she could ever ask. I hate this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm not sure if it's from her soon telling mom and dad of what happened, or that I may soon have to say goodbye to her.

"They're gonna be mad, aren't they?"

"Yeah. They're gonna be pissed."

We get to the front door, and Dizzy hesitates. For good reason, too, so I don't hold it against her. Instead of wasting more time, and having either mom or dad open the door to see us stupidly standing in front of it, I reach out and push it open. In the kitchen, mom turns around to see us. Dad is on his way down the steps, and Dizzy and I are greeted with looks of confusion and surprise. They didn't expect us back so soon. They know instantly, something is wrong. Because neither one of them act out in happiness.

"Dizzy? Cain?"

My mother says as she turns around, he pre-war dress dirty from the past I wasn't alive to see. Dad makes his way down the steps, his eyes watching us, suspicious, as we step inside. Dizzy closes the door, and the silence between the four of us is near killing me.

"…We have…we have something to tell you. And maybe, you guys should sit down for it."

Dizzy wastes no time in getting to the point. Mom, dad and myself all sit down, while Dizzy stands at the end of the table. She wants to tell her story, she wants to own up to her mistakes, and it's hard for her. I get shifty gazes from both our parents, and against my better judgment I say nothing. Dizzy has to do this on her own. I can't always be there to save her, or to clean up her messes. There's certain things, people must do on their own. This is one of them.

"Don't be mad. At any of this."

She tells everyone, and this worries mom, and makes dad light a cigarette. No one says anything, Dizzy has center stage. I hold my breath while she takes in air, to begin her story.

Mom and dad don't react like I thought they would. Instead of jumping to conclusions, getting angry, or even trying to interrupt, both of them sit there silently, listening intently. Dizzy slurs her words and sentences together, into one big slew of a paragraph. She tries to expel as much as she can in one breath, without leaving any details out. I notice, really, the only details she leaves out are the more intimate ones that her and I share together. My eyes focus on mom and dad, their faces set in stone and concentration. Dizzy talks until she's blue in the face, and even more after that. My palms sweat with nerves, as I run them over my pant legs.

As her tale comes to an end, she's shaking visibly. Again, I have to push back the urge to comfort her and offer support. I regret not helping Dizzy more in the past, and letting our relationship fall apart again, but I know I won't regret letting her grow up. Letting her do this, admit her mistakes, all on her own. She has to grow, she has to learn, and I can't always be there for her. Even if, when she leaves me for the adventures she'll have alone in the Wasteland, the stars won't shine as bright.

"And…that's all."

Dizzy says, summing up the entire ordeal as if it meant nothing. I know that's just her pitiful attempt at hoping our parents don't blow their heads off at her. Surprisingly, though, they don't. Instead of saying something, mom and dad leave the silence stale, and look at one another. Mom raises and eyebrow, and dad nods. Without another word, without any word, mom gets up and heads upstairs while dad lights his fourth cigarette, and leans forward, elbows on the table.

"…Well."

He begins, looking at me and then to Dizzy, who still stands.

"Sit down, Dizzy."

Dizzy obeys, and sits so fast for a second I think she's putting out a fire. Dad takes a deep inhale of his cigarette, his eyes narrowing behind the smoke.

"You got yourselves into a lot of trouble out there, but I think you know that."

We hang our heads, saying nothing as we prepare ourselves to be scorned.

"But you're also not children anymore. Mistakes now, are handled in very different ways."

"Dad?"

Dizzy says, almost childish and begging. Our father glances at her, as water forms in her eyes, but he doesn't show much sympathy.

"As I was saying. Mistakes are dealt with differently. There will be no punishments. From this, I hope you can learn a valuable lesson. What that lesson is, I'm not going to tell you, since you should know it on your own."

"What're we going to do?"

Dizzy asks him, and he sighs.

"You and Cain will accompany your mother and I into the Wasteland. We will deal with this how we see fit, and ensure that this Raider tribe will no longer bother my town, or my children, again."

"That's it?"

It's almost as if Dizzy wants dad to yell and scream and ground her. I guess the way adults treat things is going to take her some getting use to.

"After that, you will continue to travel the Wasteland, and hopefully have a wiser head about things."

"Why do you want me out there? Don't you worry?"

"Dizzy your mother and I worried a lot. However, we both feel time away from home is exactly what you, and you, Cain, need. Without it, neither one of you will be able to grow. This is just a minor mistake, and there are many more and possibly more severe ones, to come. This is also the last time, your mother and I will help either one of you in this sort of situation. If anything like this happens again, I expect both of you to deal with it accordingly."

"Dad?"

Dizzy says, as he stands up.

"I did not raise cowards."

There's disappointment in my father's voice, as he turns and heads up the stairs. I'm not sure what it's from, or why it's even there, but Dizzy and I both hear it. Mom and dad are disappointed in us, even though they're willing to help us. It would have been better, I think, if they simply yelled. Yelling is a lot more easier to handle, than hearing that disappointing tone.

"Well that turned out better than expected!"

Dizzy's sickeningly happy tone confuses me, and I look at her as I hear my father slam his bedroom door.

"What? Are you nuts, they're pissed. Worse than that, they're disappointed…"

"Cain, look. Mom and dad may be pissed or disappointed, or whatever, but the fact is they're going to help us."

"We should be old enough to handle it on our own, like dad said."

"Well, we should be, and we are, but Cain we're not experienced enough."

She gets up and grabs some bobby pins off the counter. I put my hand on the table, as she begins to pick the lock on the cuff around my wrist. Feeling it release off of me makes me feel freer than I have since escaping the Citadel Ruins. As if it really is behind us, and we can focus on fixing whatever problems lie ahead.

"I'm not sure I can share in your cheeriness."

I tell her, as I rub my reddened and sore wrist. Dizzy smiles at me, but I can tell it's an empty smile. She goes back around to the other side of the table, and sits down. Resting her head in her hands, Dizzy puts her elbows on the table and sighs at me. Looking at me like that, I see the hidden innocence on her face that was lost to age and maturity.

"You're not the least bit excited to go out into the Wasteland with mom and dad?"

I shake my head at her, yawning. Even though neither one of us got sleep, Dizzy's energy level skyrockets and is fairly contagious. I want to smile, and even feel the corners of my mouth twitching, but I hold it back.

"Not really, no. I…would have rather handled it on my own. On our own. Like dad said we should."

Dizzy shrugs and yawns, her long fingers covering her mouth before she replaces her hand on her cheek.

"You're too mature sometimes."

Her comment makes me raise an eyebrow, but I know she's just doing it because she has nothing better to do. When she's bored, her favorite pastime is to annoy the hell out of me. Usually, it works. She gets a rise out of me, and I feed into her stupid game, and she leaves laughing. That or we end up in an argument. Today, this morning, I don't have the energy to do either.

"Yeah."

It's all I say back to her, and she's obviously upset by this. Instead of fighting it, or pushing the issue, Dizzy drops it. Upstairs, we hear mom and dad's bedroom door open. As my gaze shifts to the top of the second floor, Dizzy's head turns, and both of us are shocked at what we see.

Usually mom wears pre-war garb. She doesn't bother to put on armor, because rarely she leaves. Even if she does leave with dad, she still wears some dress or something, claiming her survival skills are so great, she doesn't need protection. This time, it's different. Both me and Dizzy stare with mouths agape as mom comes down the steps, in front of dad, clad in her Vault 101 suit. Her Pip-Boy is on her left arm, glowing green with life. Brown fingerless gloves adorn her hands, and black high-laced boots protect her feet from wear and tear. Mom's completely covered, from neck down in her outfit. But it's not just her outfit, or how her Pip-Boy glows, or even how her sawed-off shotgun rests on her hip that makes Dizzy and I so entranced. Instead, it's the air around both of them.

They're angry, but somehow, that doesn't phase us. We know they're angry, and acknowledge that, but it's overshadowed by the life. The air of excitement, suspense, the thrill of a new adventure that engulfs us. I've never seen mom's face so calm, and yet in her eyes so unmistakably excited. Dad stands behind her as they reach the bottom of the steps, and his face is monotone and unexpressive as it always has been, but he too shares the same air and lust for adventure that mom has. Behind their empty expressions, are two people thrilled to have another whirlwind event enter their lives, as if they've missed it.

For a few minutes, I let this shock me. Let the image of them being so happy to leave Megaton surprise me. Then, I remember, that it's the one thing they loved most. The one thing they always did. Fight the bad guys, in the name of family, love, or the land they both came to claim as their own. When they met me, when they took me in, a newer and more tame adventure unfolded for them. Now that both myself and Dizzy are grown, mom and dad are simply bored. A part of me, feels proud to have brought all this trouble upon them. Because if you could see them right now, ready and willing to leave Megaton in a blaze of glory, after seventeen years of staying put, you'd feel a bit proud, too.

"So, you two accidents ready?"

Mom says, her sarcasm dripping from her words as she lifts her arm and looks at her Pip-Boy. Dizzy doesn't ask what it is, supposing that it's just another object from their past. Instead, both Dizzy and I stand up. We're a bit shocked to be moving so quickly, but it's not really much of a surprise. Since we were kids, dad and mom have always been kind of 'do it now and get it over with' parents. Their outlook is you do it, and do it right the first time, and you won't have to go back and do it again. I'm sure dad's thinking of that right now, and how he should have just attacked the Raiders with a mini-nuke first chance he got. Or maybe, that's mom thinking that.

"Are you guys sure you want to leave this fast?"

I say to them, already knowing the answer. I'm not sure why I even asked, but I guess I felt I should say something.

"Positive. We'll fix your mistake, show you two how it's done. Then, you won't have an excuse for doing it again and not finishing the job yourselves."

"You really think we're gonna be alright without you two?"

Dizzy asks as mom and dad lead us towards the front door. Mom looks back at Dizzy, shooting her a stern and serious look, topping it all off with a slight nod.

"Yes. I have full confidence in both of you."

"Why?"

Dizzy needs to learn to accept things as they are, and not question them.

"Because you're my daughter, and you are his son. There's very little you can't do, if you stop being so stupid about things. Hey, Charon?"

"Hm?"

"Wanna make a bet on who gets hurt first?"

"No. Not particularly."

"I say Dizzy."

Mom and dad look at us as we leave the house, and Dizzy feels trapped. I can't help but smile.

"I would have to agree with that, Dezbe."

Mom chuckles as Dizzy begins to proclaim how wrong the two of them are. Really, I'm on their side. Dad would say mom used to get hurt all the time in the Wasteland. Dizzy and mom are a lot alike, even if a lot of Dizzy's personality is dad's. I know it doesn't seem that way just yet, but when Dizzy gets serious, and really notices things, her and my father share the same facial ticks and thought process. It's one of those things, I suppose you have to see to understand.

"It won't take us long to get to the Citadel Ruins. We can be there in under a day."

Mom says, as Dizzy and I stay a good distance behind her and dad. I don't know why we do this, perhaps it's a pack mentality?

"Wait, mom, did you say under a day?"

Mom looks back at me, confused.

"Yeah, I did. Your father and I have made this trip so many times, we hardly stop to rest."

"Yeah but…"

I don't finish my sentence. I let my guard down, and for a slight moment let myself worry about Dizzy. Mom catches this, catches my sideways glance at Dizzy as she lights a cigarette and cranes her neck to see the white fluffy clouds of the morning. There's a stale silence, and I don't like it, because I can feel mom's eyes burning into me.

"But we'll rest for a night. I'll make sure to walk slow. Just make sure you two keep up."

"What?"

Dizzy pipes in, realizing mom is addressing both of us. But instead of answering, mom just turns around and keeps walking. I look at her, only to catch a glimpse of dad staring at me over his shoulder. I feel like he wants to talk to me, and as his walk slows down, I know he does.

"Hey, Diz, why not go talk to mom? I have to talk to dad for a bit?"

Dizzy looks at me like I'm an alien, but doesn't bother to argue. She picks up her pace, as dad slows his, and soon their places switch. For a moment, it's awkward and stale between my father and I. A voice inside my mind, tells me to tell him the truth about myself. Even if, I don't really want to. Taking a deep breath in, I prepare myself by lighting a cigarette.

"Dad…there's…a lot more to Dizzy's story than what she told…"

The words all taste bad, as if I've eaten stale Squirrel Stew. I want to spit them out, and stomp them into the dirt but I can't. Taking a drag off of my cigarette, I can only hope the taste of the stale nicotine can chase away the lip-smacking feel of disgust in my mouth.

"I figured there was something on your mind."

He says it so carelessly, even though there's no tone in his voice.

"How'd you figure that?"

"Because you have the same worried look in your eyes as I do, when something is troubling me."

"…Yeah…"

Hearing him say that, hearing him compare himself to me…makes me feel disgusting inside. I haven't even had time myself, to fully digest the information I recently learned. Maybe that plays a role in this whole thing. You know, it being difficult to say.

"What's on your mind, son?"

I used to love when he called me that, because when he did, I felt like I was really his son. Now…I'm not sure how it feels.

"…Dizzy…while she was with the Raiders…found out information on me. On…on how I was created."

"You know how you came to be, Cain. And now, your sister does. How did she take it?"

"Dad it isn't that simple."

His head turns to me, and his eyes meet mine. We're the exact same height, and I can't help but look down at my feet. We even walk the same.

"Oh?"

"Dad…I was…I am…alright. I was grown, you know this. But all my organs, all my veins, they were grown _for_ me. Like those androids that run around Rivet City. Dad, the only reason we look alike is because they wanted us to. Everything…everything else…was just coincidence."

"Do you dream of electric sheep, then?"

"What?"

"Nothing. A pre-war joke. It wasn't good, and quite dry."

I blink, disbelieving his calmness about this. My father has never been an emotional person, but this information…it isn't something one can brush off lightly.

"Dad, are you getting what I'm saying? I was never a baby, dad. I was _made_. You know? I'm like, a new-age model of android. I'm…I'm a human but…but nothing about me is really organic…and…"

"And how is this important?"

"What?"

We look at one another, as laughter from my mother and Dizzy fills our ears. They're lost in their own world, speaking the secret language of women that us men will never learn. In return, us men are speaking our own secret language of understanding.

"You are my son, as far as I can see. How you came to be that way, does not matter to me. I understand its importance to you, but it is makes no difference in my eyes."

"…Dad…"

"Deal with it however you wish. Do with it what you will. However, don't think you can simply resign from your role as my son, and your mother's. It simply does not work that way."

I'm warmed by my father's words. He's lived a long life, and probably seen things I even still think impossible. I know there's nothing left that can bother him, but I want to know, where he learned such acceptance.

"How can you…look at me the same? Did I not explain it right? Dad?"

"You explained it fine, Cain. I simply do not care, because of something your mother taught me."

"Mom?"

"Yes. Over the years I have been around her, I have learned that family ties are just that. Just as your uncle Gob has no relation to you, and yet you refer to him as 'uncle'. Perhaps it is me, who did not properly explain things to you, if you feared that by knowing this, I or your mother, would disown you."

No, no…he…he didn't do anything wrong in raising me. I guess, when you hear something like this about yourself, you get tunnel vision. You really only see what you want to see, and nothing more. Or instead, you see what you fear most, and don't accept any other outlooks or viewpoints even if they are more possible than the vision you have.

"…No, dad. I…understand. It's just…I haven't had time, I guess, to really think about all of this."

"Well, there is time now, if you wish to have it."

Looking up at mom and Dizzy, I see them laughing together. I watch them, taking mental notes on their similarities. Then, I look to my right and see my father, and note our similarities. Even though I am only created to look at him, to have his size and strength, I am not his exact copy. And yet, I share his traits. I share certain personality aspects, similar outlooks, mannerisms, and I realize…all of these things, are learned. I spent more time with him, than most anyone else. It's only natural, that I would come to mirror him. Dizzy, once again, was right. I can't help it. I look at her, and smile to myself.

"You know what I am curious about, Cain?"

I glance back at my father, as his eyes are set straight ahead. In his vision, he can see my mother, Dizzy, and any enemies that try to get near them. Since as far back as I can remember, he's always watched them with those eyes. That protective and overbearing sense that bad guys can feel for miles, and in turn stay away.

"What?"

"…What was it…that made Dizzy mature and see the error of her ways? Someone like her, would not do such a thing without…some sort of push."

Shrugging, I jam my hands into my pockets and look where my dad is looking.

"I don't know. I yelled at her. Talked to her. After that, she kind of…I don't know, changed? Maybe she's more of you than you give her credit for, you know? She can really solve things and think clearly when she has to. I think…anyways."

"Hm. Perhaps. Her mother is a different person, than she was when she began out here. It may be the same for Dizzy. Once she gets outside experience, she will not be so spoiled."

"It's your fault for spoiling her."

"She is my daughter. I had no choice."

"Yeah…"

As the conversation between my father and I settles, mom and Dizzy's just begins. Howls of laugher grow louder, and Dizzy stops to hold her stomach from laughter. My father and I catch up to the two maniac women, wondering what's so funny. Neither one of us ask, though. We both figure, it's something in their secret language and they wouldn't tell us anyways.

I watch, as dad calmly slides an arm around my mother's waist. She stops her laughter, and looks at him, still smiling. But out here, there's a sparkle in her eye. One I haven't ever really seen before. They look at one another, as if nothing else exists or matters. My mother smiling, and my father smiling back, and behind them the boulders, mountains, ruins and off-green colorings of the Capital Wasteland. Dizzy stops her own fit, and stands next to me, watching them with me.

"…They really love one another, don't they?"

She whispers, as mom reaches up and hugs dad, her eyes closed, and smiling wider than ever. Dad puts his arms on the small of her back, and lifts her into the air a bit. It makes her laugh, and it's a laugh I've never heard before.

"Yeah…they really, really do."

Dad sets mom down, and kisses her forehead. I wonder, how long its been since their storyline began. For them, I hope it never ends, and goes that way forever. Because I can't imagine, mom or dad, loving anyone else as much as they love each other.

"Come on, let's let them be."

I don't want to stand here, gawking at them like they're some sort of sideshow freak. Grabbing Dizzy's arm, I give her a light pull and we start to walk in the direction of the Citadel Ruins. After a few short steps, I hear mom and dad behind us, speaking softly to one another.

"What's with you two?"

Dizzy asks, rather rudely, as she turns to face them and lights a cigarette. I turn my head to see the reactions on my parents' faces, expecting anger, but instead both of them are smiling. Well, my father smiles as much as he can, and to anyone else it isn't much, but to him it's a lot.

"It's been a long time, since your father and I had an adventure like this. So it's sort of…refreshing."

Mom explains it to Dizzy, in the way mothers explain things to children. Dizzy notices this and crinkles her nose.

"Aren't you guys sick of adventure already?"

"Not one bit, Diz. Not one bit…"

Mom has a whimsical and airy tone to her voice. Maybe this is the reason why neither one of them exploded on Dizzy and I. Because now they have a chance to leave Megaton and do what they do best. Which in my opinion, is protecting the land and fucking with everyone's plans.

"Hey, dad, aren't you going to like, make sure nothing happens to us? Like keep watch up ahead?"

Dizzy doesn't know how mom and dad are out here. Then again, neither do I. But I've had a lot more time to think about their stories than she has. However mom and dad act out here, is how they act, and nothing can really stop that.

"Don't worry Dizzy. Everything is fine. No one will bring you, or your mother, harm."

"What about Cain?"

Dizzy points to me, and I shake my head.

"Cain can manage on his own. I'm sure of that."

My father has confidence in me. He shows that a lot, especially recently. I'm not sure why, really. It's more than just the training, and the lessons and the advice he's given me. He sees something inside of me, I think, that I have yet to discover on my own.

"Whatever you say, dad…"

"Dizzy it is you I am worried about. You have proven to be too trusting, and brazen, as well as impulsive. Out here, you cannot do those things. Anyone can kill you, and some will without hesitation."

Dizzy smirks at dad as she walks backwards. Mom still has the whimsical look plastered on her face, as if she knows something secret and isn't going to tell anyone about it.

"So, I'm just like mom, aren't I?"

Dad isn't sure what to say to this, and the look on his face causes both mom and me to chuckle. After all, what _can_ he say? Dizzy is right, and she knows it. She turns around and looks to me for approval. I don't necessarily give it to her, but I don't really deny it, either. I let her see the smile on my face, as I look away and towards the horizon. She steps closer to me, still smiling, as if she's won some great prize. She's the flower that's gonna be placed on my grave, I swear.

"One day, someone will love me as much as dad loves mom."

She whispers, and I look down at her. My hair falls in front of my eyes a bit, and I brush it away.

"I don't doubt that one bit."

Someone already does love her, as much as dad loves mom. Only, it's not the kind of love I can show her. It's not the kind I can give to her. We both made a mutual agreement, a silent agreement, to forget any feelings we have outside of sibling for one another. Even though that's the case, it doesn't mean I wouldn't do anything for her. It doesn't mean she's not the brightest star in my sky.


	20. Chapter 20

As night falls, mom and dad start slowing down. I can tell neither one of them want to rest, and both of them are more energized than I could ever imagine. But with me and Dizzy being new to all of this, they decide it's best we rest. At least then, there's less of a risk. So dad builds a fire, while mom lays in the dirt, looking up at the darkening sky. The stars are starting to come out, and I figure I should help dad make his fire.

"Here, you do this. Your mother and I will go and find food."

Dad says, handing me a handful of brush. It's almost like he's eager to get away with mom, for a few moments alone. I don't object, because I understand this is a renewal of youth for them. Especially dad, who is far too old for his age. I wonder if he ever really feels it, though? Getting mom's attention, dad starts to lead her away from our small campsite, over a hill to my left. I start to build the fire, and Dizzy sits across from me, her legs folded under her.

"Isn't that dad's job?"

She asks, watching them vanish in the night.

"Yeah, but they went to get food."

"I don't think they went to get food…"

"I don't either but let them enjoy themselves."

"It's like we're the parents in this situation."

"Mom and dad have been cooped up for a while, Dizzy. Let them feel young again."

She leans back on her palms, and looks up at the sky.

"I think they're youthful enough. Why not let us run away like that?"

"Diz, they're coming back. And we could, but…it'd be odd. I mean…you know what I mean."

I get a spark, and the spark turns into a bright orange flame, that soon engulfs the entire pile. It begins to burn fast, and burn hot. Which is good, due to the cooling temperatures of the night. Sitting down beside Dizzy, I yawn.

"Don't yawn you're gonna….make…me…yawn…"

And she yawns. I can't help but smirk, as she stretches and lies down. We didn't sleep, and spent the whole day walking and adventuring with mom and dad. Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. Laying down beside her, I feel as if the weight of the galaxy has been lifted right off of my chest. Since we kept walking and didn't rest at all today, my legs are sore and stiff.

"Think they'll at least come back with food?"

Dizzy asks me, and I turn my head to her. I'm so tired, I can hardly keep my eyes open. Her eyes are already closed, but she's facing me. For a last-ditch effort in finding comfort, she curls into the fetal position.

"Yeah, I mean, maybe…I don't know…"

It's not long before the two of us fall asleep. Both of us are tired beyond measure, and getting a good night's sleep out here is near impossible. What sucks, for me though, is while Dizzy snores quietly and peacefully, I'm woken almost instantly by the sound of my parents returning. At first, I want to pick myself up and tell them to be a bit more quit, but soon decide against it. Dizzy eavesdrops on our parents all the time. Maybe, I should have a go at it.

"Charon, they fell asleep."

My mother says, as they get closer to the fire. I hear something heavy drop to the ground, and I can only guess it's the food they set off to find.

"It does seem that way."

In her sleep, Dizzy throws an arm around me and mumbles something not English, and not entirely understandable. It sounds like baby-talk. Words and sounds bunched together to form a half-assed polysyllable meaning.

"Charon…who do they remind you of?"

I hear them sit down, though I'm not sure where or how far away. Instead of risking getting caught, I remain still and silent.

"Who?"

"Us. Charon, you can't deny, they look like us."

"Of course they would, Dezbe. Don't be stupid."

"That's not what I mean and you know it. Cain takes after you, in more ways than one."

There's silence, and I recognize it's the silence that comes when my father is thinking deeply about something. Even with my eyes closed, I can feel his eyes burning into me.

"I can't deny it, Dez. You're right."

"Dizzy is safe out here with him, like I was safe out here with you."

"Perhaps safer, since Cain was not raised in the same way, and understands human emotions and nature."

"Cain understands a lot more than I expected him to. He's still young."

"Yes but remember where we were at their ages."

"I don't particularly want to, to be honest."

My father sighs, as my mother falls silent.

"Dezbe, Cain and Dizzy are smart, and yet sheltered and naïve. They have much to learn."

"I know. But, it's better than being thrown out here, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

"Better than being forced to work as a bouncer in Underworld, and…you know, those other jobs you did for Ahzrukhal."

"That is a name I have not thought of, in a long while."

"We haven't talked about the past much, or thought of it."

"Perhaps there is reason for that."

"Maybe, I don't know. It feels like a big dream, doesn't it? Like, looking back on it, it seems too crazy to believe…"

"Yes, it does."

"Think those two…will have similar adventures?"

"Cain's life is not as extended as yours, mine or Dizzy's. In his time, he will have adventures, but not as much."

"…Charon, is there…is there a way to fix that?"

Again, my father sighs. There's a knot in my stomach, and I feel Dizzy press herself against my back.

"I don't know, Dezbe. I don't."

"Look, isn't that cute."

Two pairs of eyes burn into me. I feel them watching, and I stiffen up hoping that my act can fool my father. I probably won't know, until the morning.

"Yes. It is cute. She dreams of him."

"Charon, how do you know that?"

"She would not cling to him that way, if she was not."  
"Yeah…I guess you're right. They're closer than they let on, those two renegades."

"Just as we once were."

"…Given the circumstances, Charon, would it be wrong for them…"

"For them to what?"

"Follow in our direct footsteps? I'm asking because you're a lot smarter than me on these ethical questions. Because, I don't know."

"You sound like Dizzy."

"Yeah. But, answer me."

He takes a deep breath in, and my heart freezes in my chest.

"…In my eyes, I see no wrong, in them falling in love. I see nothing immoral about it, because of how Cain came to walk this Earth. However anyone in Megaton wishes to take it, is of their own business. As far as I can see, they are my children. They mean the world to me, and I will love them both equally regardless of who they wish to love."

"How do you feel about it?"

"I feel there is no better man for my daughter, than the man who has cared for her, her entire life. One I have trained, and one I regard as my son, in the same way I have come to see Gob as my brother."

"You've changed a lot, Charon."

"We both have."

"I'm proud of you."

"I am proud of you, too, Dezbe. We have received all we could have wanted."

"You know…I wouldn't mind it, either. Because, I trust Cain as much as I trust you. Alone out here, Dizzy wouldn't last long. Because she's like you and I, only worse. She has all of my traits I would want her to have, except, she's sheltered. And that's our fault, but, as long as Cain is beside her, I have no worries."

"No. No neither do I. And we have their impulsive and stupid behavior to thank, for allowing us to feel young again."

"I feel young all the time. As long as I have you and the kids around."

"Yes."

There's a silence, and the sound of lips smacking together. It doesn't bother me, because mom and dad always kiss around us and stuff. They're not the kind of parents, to simply do dirty things when their kids are sleeping right there. Instead they took off for that, and trust me, I am thankful for their manners. After a few more sounds of movements, and lips touching, I hear mom sigh loudly.

"This world is so big, and vast. We've had the privilege of wandering it, and seeing it. Yet, we sheltered that from our children. Were we wrong for doing that?"

My mom asks, a sad tone to her voice. I hear my father cough to clear his throat.

"No, we weren't wrong, Dezbe. We wanted to protect them from things we saw ourselves. And we did just that. Cain and Dizzy, are raised without prejudice for ghouls and humans, and despite some of their more questionable actions, they are good children. Their naïve attitudes may cause trouble, but a life without trouble, is a life no one wishes to lead."

"Yeah…yeah I get that. I just hope they have a strong bond, you know? Like me and you have. No matter what, Charon, you were there for me. I hope that even if they take different paths, they'll always have one another."

"There's no need to worry. I've spoken to Cain. He…cares very deeply for his sister. And Dizzy, I can assume, feels the same."

"How do you know? That Dizzy won't run away from him, like I did so many times to you?"

"I don't. In fact, I expect her to. But Cain is strong. Cain understands her, and they have a close-knit relationship we may never have with them. But he will chase her. If he knows she is in danger, he will chase her. If she is safe, he will wait. Just as I waited and did not follow you to New Vegas."

"Yeah…Charon, you really have a lot of faith in them."

"They are our children. It would be unwise, for me to truly doubt them."

As mom and dad fall silent, and their breathing deepens, I open my eyes and roll on to my back. Above me, billions and billions of stars light up the night sky in a way tonight, that seems comparable to none. I can't explain, how truly beautiful they are, against the midnight black and blue backdrop of the sky. How smooth and silky, the wispy and thin clouds look. And I can't explain…just how majestic and mysterious, the full moon is, as it overcasts and overshadows everything around it.

Holding my hand up to the moon, I feel like I can grab it. I can't explain, what's going through my tired and wry mind. My father surprised me, and my mother was sincere. They have no idea I was awake and listening, and yet still, they know I'd do the right thing. That is, if the right thing was ever revealed. To secretly know, your parents believe you, and trust you against all doubts, is a feeling that…is better felt, than told about.

I am a complex machine, an android, really. But then again, aren't we all? Aren't we all machines? A complex system of mechanisms and gears and wires all working towards the same goal? I think now, I understand what my father was trying to tell me earlier. That it doesn't matter, how I came to be. Only, that I simply am. And I have a family behind me, supporting and loving me, despite how I feel about who I am. I still, don't know, who I truly am. I never have the right things to say, to make everything perfect like it once was, when I was only a child and not knowing any better. But, I know that somewhere inside, I can still find the strength to come to terms with it. To become stronger, and do what I feel I must do.

Taking my hand down, I wonder, if I was created only to chase dreams. At first, created to chase the dreams of others. Of men much more powerful than me. But out here, that power means nothing. It's my own life now, and has been since my mother clasped her hand around my tiny one, and made the world I know it to be fall into place. It's my own life, to chase my own dreams.

Rolling back on my side, I face a sleeping Dizzy. Her mouth is slightly parted, and her head rests on her arm. Sleepily, I put my hand over hers on the hard ground, as a dying fire offers the last of its warmth to us. I have to be good to her, kind. I have to be strong. My father once told me, that to a woman, the man she loves is everything to her. He, is the weight of her world, and he is the one she will run to. I can't deny he's right. Dizzy, is a maze, and I can never figure her out. Once I think I have her understood, something changes. But maybe…maybe that's how it's supposed to be. I doubt my father, completely understands my mother. But still, he is good to her. He is good to her, and Dizzy just the same.

Dizzy is going to blossom into a beautiful lover, and one day, a mother. She is going to be just like our mother is. A fighter, strong-willed, independent to a point, and…loving like no other woman can love. I don't know a woman, aside from mom, who can love and smile, even when the world she's in is so destroyed. The fact, that in all my parents went through and endured, my mother still loves and never gave up, is unbelievable to me. I don't think, I would be the man I am today, without the warmth of that woman's good heart.

It's the least I can do. I can look after Dizzy, and love her, and protect her. I can be the support she so needs, when all the world crashes down around her. And in that position, I can hope, to find my own dreams. Or maybe, just being beside her until the ends of time, is my dream. I don't know yet, but as I fall to sleep with my hand on top of hers, I feel her fingers squeeze mine.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, mom and dad waste no time in waking Dizzy and I at the ass-crack of dawn. Needless to say, the task isn't easy. Although I comply without complaint, my sister-by-name complains and groans through the entire process. Although, it is rather funny.

"No! No!"

Dizzy yells, rolling over onto her other side as if it has any effect on our father, who stands over her poking her with the butt-end of his shotgun.

"Dizzy, no games. It is time to rise."

"Fuck your games I'm sleeping!"

Mom laughs at this, as she stands next to me watching them bicker. Mornings, even in the Capital Wasteland, aren't too different from the ones at home. Usually mom and dad are up and about, and I wake with them, while Dizzy sleeps half the day away. I find it's especially hard to wake her if she's dreaming about food.

"She's a lot like me."

Mom says as she lights a smoke, while Dizzy curls into a tight ball to avoid further prodding.

"Oh, yeah?"

I ask, even though I know the truth. Mom nods, blowing out smoke from her mouth.

"Yup. Dizzy took my personality and got it down to a science. She's a lot like your father though, too. At least, she seems to be."

"What makes you say that?"

"Her fight. She has a fight in her, that I've never been able to find in myself."

I look at Dizzy on the ground whining and begging for more sleep, and wonder if my mother has truly lost her mind.

"You sure about that, mom?"

"Positive. But you know, you turned out a lot more like your father."

"Yeah, so I'm told."

"And I trust, that when your father and I leave you two out here again, you'll keep your sister safe."

I want to say something to her. I want to tell her she's right. But instead, as Dizzy finally stands and glares angrily at dad, I keep my mouth shut. Mom goes over to my father, and takes his hand in hers. He doesn't avert his eyes from Dizzy, but I see him slightly squeeze her hand. Finally, Dizzy sighs, and folds her arms across her chest.

"Why so early? It's too early. The sun isn't even awake yet. Mom can you be on my side on this?"

"Afraid not, Dizzy. Early mornings out here are a norm. Last thing you want is a Raider or other baddie coming by and taking advantage of you in your sleep."

Dizzy groans in defeat and slaps her hands against her thighs. Without anymore argument, mom and dad begin to lead the way towards the Citadel Ruins. Dizzy doesn't follow right away, and neither do I. Instead, I walk over to her, and silently we watch the figures of our parents begin along the trail they've walked so many times before us. Yet, while she looks at the, I look at her. There's so many things, I want to tell her. So many things, I want to make her listen to. No woman, can make me feel so confident, and so insecure, by just being in their presence, as Dizzy can. Licking my lips slightly, I realize, I can taste just faintly, what I can never have. I can never, in my life, have Dizzy. We agreed on that, nights before. But, I can still dream, and I can in some ways, hope.

"We should get going."

Dizzy says, snapping me from my own mind. I nod, as her eyes meet mine.

"Yeah, come on."

She takes the lead, while I trail behind her, watching her. Against the frontier, her form, and my mother's, are exactly the same. Although Dizzy has the appearance and face of a perfect mixture of both mother and father, I see this whimsical glint in her eye. One, that although I don't see in my mother's, I know is there. But, for my mother, that glint was before my time. Before Dizzy. In a world, that we still don't understand. To know what my mother was like back then…to truly know, I think I'd give anything. Because if I knew what my mother was like, I know, I could handle Dizzy. I could handle whatever she throws, whatever she does. But all I know is the stories, and verbal communication, only says so much. Stories and events, are so much more fruitful, when you can see, hear, taste, and smell them.

"Mom?"

I call, catching my balance as we walk up a small hill. Dizzy walks in the middle, ahead of me, behind our parents. The four of us stop walking, and everyone looks at me.

"What is it? Cain?"

Her voice has the hint of a mother's worry. What I wouldn't give, to hear her voice as it was, so many years ago, when this world was as new to her as it is to me. Maybe then, I'd have a better understanding, of how to read my sister. Maybe I should stop calling her that. In due time, I guess.

"Mom, can I…can I talk to you?"

Mom looks at dad, and gives him a nod and a pat on the arm. Dizzy jogs ahead, and jumps on our father's back. You know, they need time, too. Dizzy and dad get along so well it's almost…weird. My father, as unemotional as he is, really lights up around her. Mostly due to the fact that Dizzy is his little girl, and despite how old she gets, he'll always see her as a child. When mom reaches me, she has the look of a concerned parent in her eyes. The only kind of look, a mother can give to their child. It breaks my heart.

"What is it, Cain? Sweetheart, is something wrong?"

The difference between my mother and father and how they treat me is simple. My father talks to me like a man, while my mother always will talk to me like a child. Not in a condescending way, no, but in a nurturing way. As if I need to be reminded constantly, she is my mother, and will provide me with anything.

"No, no nothing is wrong, mom. I just want to know something."

"What is it?"

We're all walking again, and Dizzy and dad are up ahead, chatting and arguing playfully.

"What were you like before? I mean, when you were Dizzy's age?"

"You know how I was."

"No, mom, how _were_ you? Like, really?"

She looks at me, with those dark, deep eyes. They hide so many secrets, and tell so many memories. I know there's things about my parents that they don't tell me. It's understandable. But, the mystery is what intrigues me.

"…I was a scared, insecure, selfish, and sad little girl inside."

"Mom?"

"When I met your father, I was two or three months fresh from the vault. I had lost my father in the Wasteland, and had no companions. I never did. I was completely and utterly alone and yet…I never felt lonely."

"You didn't?"

"No. Not until…"

"Until what, mom? Are you okay?"

She nods her head, as tears form in her eyes while she looks at the darkened silhouette of her lover in the rising sun.

"Until I spent time away from your father. Until…I understood, the reason behind why people did things that before, I saw stupid and unnecessary. I never…told your father this, and I hope you won't, either."

"What is it?"

"At the age of nineteen, your father's mere presence in my life, helped me understand why my own father couldn't ever love me, like I wanted him to love me."

"Why?"

"Because he loved my mother, and missed her, that it was his mission to her…to finish Project Purity. But before your father, I never knew such a love existed."

I look down at my feet, as my mother holds my hand. Her fingers remind me of Dizzy, as she squeezes mine.

"Dizzy, is exactly the same way. She's lonely, Cain. She's lonely, and it's the kind of loneliness that no amount of love or care from me or your father can cure."

"…Yeah…I figured that."

"I hope…I hope in your time out here, you can do something about that."

"Mom?"

Our eyes meet, and I see that her tears clean the face that dust dirtied. Beneath the clear rivers, are faint freckles. Ones, that my father would often kiss when I would spy on them on moments alone when I was younger.

"She doesn't know, the depth of her loneliness, or how badly it can destroy her. You, are the closest friend she has."

"…I suppose."

"No Cain, you are. She cares for you, albeit she doesn't show it worth a damn."

"Did you ever, you know, fight with dad back then?"

"Oh yeah, all the time. Always. We were pushing one another's buttons to no end, and the two of us detested one another."

"So…how'd you become so close?"

"Because the both of us, really needed a friend."

"But I don't need a friend."

My mother smirks as she drops my hand. Wiping her face, she keeps the sarcastic look.

"Imagine this for me, will you?"

"Alright, mom, what?"

"Imagine, her alone. In danger. Imagine her injured, with no one, at the mercy of whatever enemies you may encounter. Cain, what do you feel?"

I take a moment and picture it. I remember the night in the tunnels, when the Raiders cornered her, me, and took her. Anger, and pain, worry and a power I'm too scared to recognize flows through my veins. Looking back down at my mom, I clench my jaw tightly.

"Angry, enraged, and…"

"And you never want to see her in pain, you never want to see her lonely, you never…want her to be without you."

As if I'm being shamed, I hang my head and let my hair fall over my eyes. As strong as I may look on the outside, I'm truly nothing but soft on the inside.

"…Yeah…how'd you know?"

"I can tell. It's hard, to not see it."

"See what?"

"Your father, inside of you. And it's hard, to not see myself in Dizzy, or her father for that. Especially when she's angry. But, I know because of that, everything will be alright."

"Mom?"

She smiles at me, and it's one of those wise ones. One that tells me, I won't quite understand just yet, even if I do think I'm an adult. Truly, I'm just as naïve as Dizzy.

"In due time, Cain, you'll see. And you'll see just fine."

Mother leaves no room for me to reply. Instead, she runs ahead, and wraps her arms around my father's waist. Dizzy sees this as funny, as she stops walking and watches. But, she can't see, what I see. I see the wet eyes, my mother hides in my father's back. The face of a woman, who truly loves the man in her arms. Who wouldn't, in a million years, trade him for all the treasures someone could offer. I watch, still and calm, as my father turns around and looks at her. He places a hand on top of her hair, and she lifts her head.

They look like children. Children who just discovered love for the first time. Innocent, carefree, and so involved with one another, the whole world is oblivious to them. To them, the other is simply perfect. It warms my heart, in a way not even the desert sun can.

"They're acting like fools."

Dizzy says, as she falls back to me and we continue to walk. My mother's words ring true, as I stare at them. I don't want to look away, as my father holds her close with their steps and pace matching. One day, I want to be half the man my father is. I think, then I would be happy.

"They're in love."

She lights a cigarette as I look down at her. She has our mother's uncaring expressions. She doesn't have her freckles.

"Cain, you're hopeless."

"What're you doing, Diz?"

"What?"

I stare down at her, as she turns her head to face me. Her short, dark hair frames her face perfectly. As if it was simply made to fit her. As if, she was born that way.

"After this is said and done, where in this world are you going?"

She hadn't thought about that. Hadn't thought about what may lie ahead of her, or ahead of us. Instead, as always, she's stuck in a preverbal time-warp. A moment that doesn't last, but doesn't end, either. A foolishness I wish I could have. The corners of her mouth twitch, as if she wants to frown. Instead she scratches the side of her dirty face, and shrugs her shoulders.

"Anywhere, I guess. I hadn't thought much of it."

"Mom and dad are going back home. You won't be okay on your own."

"Sure I will!"

"Dizzy…"

We let our parents drift away. We let the world around us, take a backseat to our lives. In stillness, Dizzy and I look at one another. She doesn't believe her own words, and she knows I don't, either. She knows, the mistakes she'll make, and knows very well that if she was left alone, she'd die. She's not ready, to do what mom did, and survive on just the land and what she can kill.

"…You said, that…"

"Whatever I said, Dizzy, doesn't matter."

She thinks, that on our return to Megaton, I had hinted that we couldn't travel together. At least, that's what I suspect.

"Cain, you're stupid. Come on."

She starts to walk, and I don't stop her. I take pace, right behind her. Our parents aren't too far ahead, but truthfully, it isn't them I'm watching. As Dizzy walks, every few steps, she'll glance back at me. It's a swift look, and I can tell she hopes I don't notice, but I do. I notice. And I notice, that she's looking, to make sure I'm following. I'll always follow her.


	22. Chapter 22

We arrive at the Citadel Ruins by high noon. The sun is hot, and directly above us. Beads of sweat travel down the side of my face. I'm not use to the extra hot days in the desert. Usually, the shades of the buildings in Megaton would save me. But I am not in Megaton now. Instead, I am standing once again where both my father and myself come from. Where just beneath our feet, a nesting mound of angry Raiders resides. The only people not taking this matter seriously, are my mother and Dizzy. Although, my mother understands the severity of the situation, Dizzy does not.

"Dizzy! Where I can see you!"

My father calls, angrier than usual. He isn't angry at Dizzy, simply angry towards her. He wants to see her, to keep her safe. Any parent would also understand his situation. Mom stands closest to the ruins, looking at it as if it's a familiar friend. I wonder what's going through her mind right now. What is it, she's seeing? Memories of hers about this place, can they truly plague her like they plague my father?

As if she knows I'm thinking about her, my mother turns around and looks right into my eyes. I respect my mother, and at times like now, fear her. I swallow a hard lump in my throat.

"Charon?"

She says as her eyes drift away from me. Her hair blows in a cool breeze, and my father who is keeping a watchful eye on an overly-energetic Dizzy, slowly walks over to her.

"What is it?"

"…It's been seventeen years, since I've been here. Since…we've been here."

"It brings back memories."

"More for you, than for me I know."

My father nods slow, and solemn. I glance to my left at Dizzy, who picks up the energy of our parents like a dog. She stops her bouncing around and looks at them.

"I'm going to look like mom one day, aren't I? Covered in battle-scars, and toughened from the elements."

Dizzy says to me, in a serious tone she rarely ever uses. I see her in a different light right now. I can't quite explain it. I see her, standing there with a stern and focused look on her face. Inside, she's raging and turmoil bubbles. Adrenaline at the thought of the impending violence sends waves of twitching through her hands.

"If you survive, yeah."

I tell her. She narrows her eyes, and her eyebrows crinkle. The gears turn in her head, as she takes a step forward. Mom and dad glance back, and see us both moving towards them. Silently, the four of us walk across the ruined grounds of the Citadel Ruins.

"Mom?"

Dizzy calls, her tone now more childish. Mom looks back at her, and I glance over. Dizzy looks like a frightened child.

"There's going to be a lot of blood, isn't there?"

Mom nods, clutching her gun tightly.

"And there's a chance we'll get hurt?"

Again, our mother nods. Dizzy swallows hard, and I expect her to call for our father. I expect her, to run to his side and take his hand like she would as a child. I thought, she was going to ask him to protect her, to keep her safe with his precise training, and keen senses. But instead, I feel her hand slide into mine. I feel her fingers squeeze my palm, as she looks up at me.

"…Don't let me die in there, alright?"

Memories of our childhood run through my mind. It was my father, who finished the battles and fights she got into as a child. But, it was always me she ran to first. Me, she cried to. Me, she begged to make it all go away. In my father, she found a different protection, than she did in me. She knows he would lay his life down, for the safety of his little girl. And yet, she hasn't ever seen him do that. She's never been in that position with him. But with me, she has been. I squeeze her hand back.

"No one, is going to die, Dizzy. Especially you."

I tell her, leaving out the part that there may be grievous bodily harm. I think she knows this, though, because she's still nervous. Through that nervousness, she nods, as we walk through the doors to gain access to the lower entrances.

She doesn't let go of our hand, as our footsteps echo and bounce in the emptiness. Ahead of us, my father holds my mother's hand tightly. Dizzy steps closer to me as we walk, nearly on top of me. As we get closer and closer, my heart begins to beat faster and faster. I refrain from letting myself shake. I want to hide the fear, of knowing this will be my first confrontation of a large mass. It isn't even a large mass. It's nothing, compared to my parents, and what they did in their lives.

I feel a bit shamed, as my mother opens the lower door and we begin the descent. Dizzy's hand holds mine tightly, and I can sense the fear, the adrenaline. The two of us are frightful of this, when my parents, faced much larger and more severe opponents. How did they do it? How…were they able to face it?

"Mom? Dad?"

Dizzy says, suddenly. Her voice echoes down the stainless steel hall, and our parents turn to look at her. She's visibly shaken, and a bit green in the face.

"How'd…how'd you do it? How'd you walk into things like this all the time?"

Sometimes I seriously wonder if Dizzy is telepathic with me. Or instead, if she can simply sense the things I cannot say. My father looks at my mother, letting her answer. Half of me expects mom to smile. To you know, give us a hopeful look. But, she doesn't. Instead, mom closes her eyes for a quick minute. The three scars across her face, give her look a more serious tone. I hold my breath.

"…I don't know, really, sweet heart. We…just did. We…"

"We knew the price, if we ran."

My father finishes her sentence, as my mother loses her words to caution. She looks up at my father, and nods her head. There's a smile, hidden beneath her tough exterior. Dizzy holds my hand a bit tighter.

"Your father is right. We knew the consequences for us, and for the people of the Capital Wasteland, would be dire if we ran."

"And didn't you fight them? In the Pitt? The Raiders?"

My mother frowns, as we stand in the middle of the narrow corridor. I can tell my father is listening intently, because of the way he looks around.

"Dizzy, those Raiders were _very_ different. They weren't the ones you're familiar with. They were warriors, hardened, and sober with a clean shot. The ones we're fighting today, are child's play. I understand you two must be nervous, but you're wasting your time. This, is more of a fun game, of cat and mouse."

Mom stops for a minute, and thinks about something. Then, she turns to our father.

"Say, Charon, you never told me what a cat or a mouse was anyways…"

Dad looks at mom with comedic disbelief, as a smile spreads wide over her face. Dizzy chuckles, and I do as well. Because neither one of us, know what a cat or mouse is, either. Three of us look at my father, as he sighs in frustration.

"A cat was a furry thing, like a dog. Only much more of an annoyance and hardly beneficial. A mouse was like a Molerat, but can fit in the palm of your hand, and covered in fur."

"Was everything covered in fur back then?"

My mother asks, a childish undertone in her voice. Dad looks at her, and shakes his head. The two of them begin to lead Dizzy and myself down into the underbelly of the Citadel Ruins. Down, to where just not too long ago, I was held captive. To where Dizzy somehow fixed a complete mess. One, might I add, she created.

As we reach the lower chambers, Dizzy's breathing softens. I look at her, as she echoes in the silence. It's not the kind of breath you get, when you're scared. There's something in her eyes. Adrenaline, nerves, fear? I don't know. Silently, without moving her head, her eyes fall on me. Although she's much smaller than me, and hardly a threat to myself, I find that I'm a bit scared of her.

"Diz?"

I whisper as we walk through the dirtied steel corridor, the silence eerie. Dizzy says nothing, but looks away, her gun clutched in her hands tightly. Worried, I wrap my hand around her wrist and pull.

"Don't you dare do anything stupid, ya hear?"

I hiss at her, more fierce and serious than I've ever been with her before. She blinks at me, but behind that fake bravery I can see the cowering child she still is.

"Cain."

My father calls me, his voice gravelly, deep, and bellowing. I let go of Dizzy's wrist and join my father at his side, as we come to the Vault's entrance. My mother falls back with my sister. Dad hesitates on opening the door, and looks at me.

"You keep her safe, Cain. Keep her _safe_."

My father hasn't ever been emotionally there. There's rare moments, where he's laughed and smiled and other such things, but only enough to where I can count them all on one hand. But, as I look into his eyes, the same eyes that I have, the same that Dizzy has, I can see he's worried. For the first time, his family is in danger. Dad knows that he and mom can do just fine, but he doesn't know about Dizzy, or myself. Despite all he's taught me, he worries. I glance back quickly at my mother, and see that she has the same look on her face. Neither one of them, wanted Dizzy or I, to see the horror they did. I wish I would have realized that point a lot sooner.

"I will, dad. I will."

Like women have their secret language, men also have one. In a silent understanding, my father nods his head, and hits the key on the terminal. The loud noise of the gear door prying itself open echoes mercilessly throughout the underground corridors. I feel my mother and Dizzy getting closer behind me, and soon enough my mother takes her rightful place beside my father. Both of them have their guns drawn, ready. I look over my shoulder, and see Dizzy trying so hard to be brave. But, the gun in her hand shakes, and slaps against her thighs.

We walk into an eerie silence. Our footsteps echo, and lights all around flicker on and off. As if without Scab, this place has all but gone to hell.

"We're not alone."

My father says, glancing, looking, listening. He cocks his gun, as shadows move. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, as I ready my own weapon.

"How do you know?"

I ask him, speaking in hardly a whisper.

"Listen."

We all listen, and sure enough, moving shadows and slight noises give way to people. We just can't see them. Raiders. It's my father who takes the first thundering steps. Leading the way over the creaking catwalks, suspended by unmaintained wire.

"Alpha, and Omega…"

My mother says an old prayer she's always recited. I don't know if it's from fear, or out of comfort. I let my guard down, I suppose, because the echoing sound of my father's gun going off scares me. A dead Raider falls from somewhere I didn't see. Blood pours and pools around him, as his eyes dart in one last ounce of life.

"Perhaps, this is not something for you two to see."

My father says, seeing Dizzy's paling face against the flashing lights.

"I can do it, dad!"

Dizzy yells in protest. My heart jumps to my throat, and instinctively, I pull her close to me. Mom sighs loudly, her trigger finger twitching.

"We're outnumbered, Charon."

My mother says, and Dizzy squeezes my duster jacket.

"We've been outnumbered before. This is nothing for us, but for them…"

"They're going to see death one way or another, be it here, or out in the Wastes."

"I did not want them to see it here. I do not want them to see that their parents...are killers."

"They already _know_, Charon."  
"Seeing is different than knowing."

"Stop talking like we aren't here!"

Dizzy yells, her voice bouncing an echoing. There's a maniacal laughter somewhere in the bowels of this place, and it takes us by surprise. But once it passes, all attention is on Dizzy. There's fresh tears in her eyes.

"Stop…talking about us like we're still kids. We _know_ this world is bad, and dangerous, okay? We know. And…it's better we see it with you than alone. That way…that way we can learn, and you can protect us. Dad…I…"

Turning into a small child, tears fall from the corners of Dizzy's eyes. My father, in the heat of the moment, turns soft. His expression goes light, and he walks over to his only biological daughter. His fingers, run through her short hair, as he wraps a protective arm around her.

"Hush, Dizzy. Hush…"

Comfort at a time like this probably isn't wise. But, dad has always had a soft spot for Dizzy. Often forgetting more pressing matters, like the one we're in, to comfort her or help her. Against all odds, somehow, the moment seems still. My mother has a wry look on her face, and I realize…she's sad.

She looks at me, and Dizzy, with sadness in her eyes. As if, she never…never wanted us to see what's about to happen. For some reason, I feel responsible, and I look down. Guilt is written on my face, and peering up, I see my father giving my mother a stern look, as Dizzy collects herself and steps away from him.

"Mom, dad…"

I begin, words catching in my throat. The three of them look at me. I feel right now, as I stand before them, holding my gun, that perhaps now…is my time to show them…I'm no longer a child.

"It's alright. We can do this."

"I have no doubt in your abilities, Cain. It's that I didn't want you to see this."

My mother tells me, and somewhere in the distance, a gun is fired. It works as an alarm, for all of us. Waking the four of us, there's no hesitation when we raise our weapons, in four different directions. Stealing a quick glance at Dizzy as I search the dim and destroyed underground bunker for life, I see…something, someone, entirely different.

The scared child is gone. Her face is hardened, and shows no signs of foolishness.

"Dad…"

She says, finger itching to squeeze the trigger. We all look to where her gun is pointed, and sure enough, a Raider.

"It's about damned time the fun began."

It's the last thing I hear my mother say, before I'm deafened by the sounds of bullets littering the air.


	23. Chapter 23

The Raiders were exactly as mom and dad said they'd be: child's play. It wasn't hard, to finish them off. Hell, if anything, it was fun. I never in my life, got to see mom and dad in action. Now, I saw it first hand. Of course they fell back, and let Dizzy and I take control of the situation, but still. Their aim, their movements, their accuracy, it was all so amazing to my eyes. Probably because after growing up and hearing their stories, I finally got to see it in real life. It was nothing, like the tales they told me of taking down organized crime, but it was still new to me, and inside, I felt like a small child again.

Dizzy, however, was not as precise nor careful. Instead after she fired her first shot she ran up and down the rotting catwalks like a Raider on Psycho. She was hardly quiet, and got a bit too much enjoyment out of the whole ordeal. Mom laughed at this as we made our way out, claiming Dizzy is more like her than ever before now. To be honest, though, I don't quite agree.

Dizzy is calculating. She's like my father, in a way. She'll do something, to cover and hide something else. Her running like a madwoman probably distracted the Raiders. She didn't miss her targets, and in her eyes I saw someone cold, someone planning. As if almost, she knew what she was getting into from the very beginning. I'm sure in time, I'll know why she pulled the stunt by running around with a Molerat with no head.

As we emerge into the Capital Wasteland once more, I take with me from the excursion a bit more knowledge about the people, the land. It's easy to die out here, and much easier to kill. Dizzy and my parents are behind me, she's being scolded for her actions, and lectured on the fact that stealth is always the best option. Although, from what my father told me, my mother was never stealthy.

They're lost, in their own little world, as I lead the way back to Megaton. It doesn't bother me in the least. I'm also lost, in my own thoughts. My thoughts, on what comes next. Dizzy spoke of going to Rivet City, to see if the doctors there could possibly help me. Help me, to be immune to radiation and be as immortal as my mother and father are. I haven't brought the subject up myself, because really, I'm not sure if I want it or not. Seeing Dizzy in there, and how truly capable she is at surviving when presented with the situation, made me see things differently. Made me wonder…if perhaps, she truly does need me. Seeing all that blood…makes me wonder, about many different things. Things…I'm not sure I ever thought of before.

Glancing back, I notice the tone of their conversation has changed. All of them, my father included, smile happy. As if…they're proud of something. I'm too far to hear what they're talking about, and I find myself curious. Curious, as to what can make Dizzy smile and shine, as bright as she is right now. Sadness overcomes me, as I realize that maybe…she's going to leave. Leave, without me, since she's proven although noisy, she's able to survive. Stopping, I wait for them to get closer.

I only see Dizzy, as they walk. I only see her, laughing, smiling, shining. I don't think, she needs me anymore, after going through what she did. I was there, beside her, but to her, she was alone.

"Hey Cain, guess what?"

She runs up to me, grabbing my arm in excitement. We continue walking, and I look down at her.

"What?"

"Mom says we're going to get home in time for the celebration, and that I can go to The Pitt all by myself!"

The celebration she's talking about is one the citizens of Megaton have every year. No one knows where it came from, only that one day people just started to have an annual party. Dad hates it, because people get drunk and violent and his job gets harder. Mom and Dizzy love it, though. They always have fun. Truthfully, I'm a bit more preoccupied with Dizzy going to The Pitt all by herself.

"What? Really?"

She nods at me, still beaming. The sun is going to set soon.

"Yeah! They said I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Without thinking I turn and face my parents.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

I demand, tearing my arm from Dizzy's touch. I don't mean to be so angry. In fact, I'm not even sure where it came from. Dizzy going alone anywhere in the Capital Wasteland or not, is stupid and insane. Just because she shot a few Raiders doesn't mean she can live out here on her own. What the hell are they thinking?

"I think you better handle this."

My mom says to my father as they come to me. Mom goes up, and leads Dizzy ahead of us, so that we can talk in private. My father stops walking in front of me, his eyes meeting mine. For a silent moment, we stare at one another. As much as I want to prove I'm stronger than him, better, wiser, _anything_…I know I'm not. I know deep down, my father will always surpass me in everything I try to do. So instead of challenging him more, I look away, and we begin to walk.

"…Dad, are you insane?"

I ask, running my fingers through my hair. I feel so frustrated.

"Dizzy needs this."

"Needs what, dad? Impending death?"

"No. She needs to see a bit of the world on her own."

"And what's that going to do?"

I yell a bit too loud. He looks at me, the shotgun on his back shining in the late-afternoon sun. Lighting two cigarettes, he hands me one. Reluctantly, I take it.

"…Dad I…I just don't want her…to be alone out here."

"If she asks you to go with her, than go. If not, I suggest you stay."

"What if she dies?"

"She won't. I know my daughter, and I know my son."

He says nothing more, before dropping the subject. There's no room for argument. No room to prove a point that doesn't exist. I stop walking. I stop walking, and let everyone else go on ahead, as I stare out at the sparkling river.

Dizzy…alone out here…without me. I'm not sure, what bothers me more. The fact that she'll be alone, or I will. Looking down at my hands, I feel as if we've just gotten it all back. Gotten the connection we had, the secrecy, the everything we once shared so long ago. And now, all of a sudden, it's gone. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. Knowing Dizzy…I know she won't ask me to go with her. She'll take this as a personal challenge, and go off on into The Pitt without me. Thinking, in her stupid and idiotic mind, that she can do it.

But Dizzy isn't mom. She _can't_ do it. At least, not alone. She just thinks she can, and there's a big different between those two things. Especially when your life hangs in the balance. Mom did it, because she had to. She didn't have anything else, no other choice. And mom back then, didn't have people…like Dizzy does. A family. If mom died back then, out here, I don't think anyone would have noticed, because no one knew her. If Dizzy died out here, everyone would notice. _I_ would notice.

"Cain?"

I jump, and look to my right. Dizzy stands there, looking up at me. Mom and dad continue on ahead, and I say nothing.

"They said they'd meet us in Megaton. I'm gonna leave a day after we get back, so, if you wanna, we can sit and talk for a bit."

Silence. It's warmer, when Dizzy is near me. Although these feelings I bear are shameful, and I can never act upon them, I still feel obligated to keep her warm, safe. Protect her, from all I can. Sometimes, I feel that Dizzy, is the only thing I really like about myself. When she isn't running rampant and screaming about inane things.

"Yeah…yeah let's sit here, and talk. We…have a lot to talk about."


	24. Chapter 24

(Dez)

"How long has it been, since this storyline began, Charon?"

When you have children, the entire world changes. You're no longer first in your own life. All of a sudden, you love something with more care and conviction, than you've ever felt for anything in the past. You hold a small bundle of a person in your arms, and a wave of protection, fright, anxiety and love overpowers you. That bundle, means more than all the riches in the world. You want nothing more to protect it, keep it safe, and love it as if you've never loved before. I never understood, the strength and power, of a mother's love, until I became one.

When Dizzy was a child, just hardly walking, a baby if anything, I saw a lot of myself inside of her. She is undeniably her father's daughter, and it shows when things get serious. But, in every day life and events, Dizzy held my personality traits. She's rebellious, strong, hotheaded, charismatic, and stubborn. Traits I once believed to be the core of the very fiber of my being. Traits…I had to learn, that one can often times, do without.

I felt more protection over Dizzy, than I did Cain. Not because one is my own and the other is adopted, no. As far as I'm concerned, both are my children. Yet Dizzy…Dizzy was strange. As much of me as there was inside of her, there is an equal amount of her father. She's frail, delicate, in a way. I see this when she's hurting, and doesn't speak of it. She holds it inside, as if she's trying to prove to everyone she's as strong as they are. Truthfully, it's an act, and one any mother can see through. And it hurt me, when she became a teenager and skinned knees quickly became wounds both emotionally and physically.

A mother, can easily tend to a skinned knee. A kiss and a hug, and there is no more pain. Cain never bothered with emotions, much like his father. Dizzy, much like her father could have been, took them all to an extreme. One myself never knew possible. When she was hurt, everyone hurt with her. Though her silence kept it inside, the air around her radiated it. To this day, she believes she hides it well, and perhaps to herself she does. But to me, and to her father, we see it clear as day.

We also see, more than we let on to them, too.

"Many, many years ago."

Charon says to me, as I hold his arm. We walk back towards Megaton, leaving Cain and Dizzy to sort out their unspoken emotional issues.

"Do you think…they'll finally open up?"

I ask him, because to this day, Charon is still all-knowing, and ever-right.

"No. Not now, anyways."

I'm not sheltered, or blinded. My children cannot fool me, though they believe they can. That loneliness Dizzy tries so hard to hide, is softened by Cain. I'm not sure how, exactly, or even positive how it happened. Only that it did. Only that, the two of them mean more to one another than they'll admit. In many ways, they remind me of Charon and myself. Back when the two of us were in similar situations. Although, Charon and I didn't have conflicting emotions of possible incest. Though they're not related, they were raised as though they were. To them, that must make a world of difference. However, Dizzy needs a constant in her life, and Cain needs her just the same. I can't tell you, how I know this. Lately, I file everything under 'Mother's Intuition'.

"When, then, Charon?"

"When Dizzy returns from her adventure."

"She won't ask him to go?"

"No. No, I feel Dizzy will do this alone, and in Cain's absence realize things she didn't before. It will be beneficial, upon her return."

We gave Dizzy three months to venture out alone. Not because we don't trust her, but because we're parents, and we want her safe. If she doesn't return, we'll send Cain out to find her.

"You think…she'll realize it?"

"Maybe, Dez, it depends."

"Depends on what?"

"On how much she has to suffer alone, before coming to her senses."

Charon feels the same way as I do about those two. They don't see it, but they mean a lot to one another. It's a sad feeling, a sad and tragic romance. They may fall into it, they may not. All of that, depends on them.

"I hope, our children can be happy."

"All parents hope for that, Dezbe."

"Are you happy?"

I ask Charon. It's been years, decades, we've been together. He's changed in so many ways, from the man he once was. In the same light, I have changed, too. Having children, does that to people.

"Yes, Dez. I would not trade my life, for anything."


	25. Chapter 25

(Cain)

We sit on the side of the riverbank. The water, reflects the sun, and it makes everything shimmer. Dizzy draws circles in the dirt with her finger, as the silence continues. Neither one of us, say anything, even though there's so much to say. Although I chose to not pursue the feelings I harbor, I can't help but feel the pain that comes with her departure. Looking at her right now, kills me.

"You know, I'll be alright out there."

She says to me, soft and quiet.

"…How do you know that?"

"I don't know, I just do. Because…it feels like, I can finally find my place. You know, the place I belong. I can wander off, and figure everything out."

"There's nothing to figure out, Dizzy."

"There's a whole world out there, Cain. Aren't you the least bit curious as to what it holds?"

Turning my head, I look at her. Her eyes, are filled with sadness and excitement over the future. I hurts me, but I don't look away.

"Sometimes, I am. But I would never venture it alone."

"I have to. I have…to find out what I'm supposed to be."

She's supposed to be with me. She's supposed to come to me, laughing, smiling, and never sad. Never sad, because I would never make her sad. When she's here, the sky shines so much brighter.

"I can't really say anything against your wishes, Diz. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. Your opinion matters."

"But would it change how you feel about this?"

She closes her mouth. Her naturally pale pink lips touch one another, and she swallows hard. Breaking her gaze on me, Dizzy looks out towards the river. I watch as she brings her knees to her chin, and sighs.

"…No, I guess, it wouldn't."

"Alright then."

I tell her, standing up. She looks at me, like she's just lost some sort of game.

"Where're you going?"

"Home. We have to get home, Dizzy."

"…But…"

"What?"

She looks away, and stands up. The things left unsaid, hang in the air. I don't like how this feels.

"Nothing."

I go to lead her, walk ahead of her, so that way I'm not tormented and congested by the way she makes me feel. As I walk, though, I feel her hand grab my wrist. She holds me back, and I turn my head to see her. Her eyes, are filled with tears.

"What is it?"

I ask, colder than I initially intended.

"…Will you be home, when I get back?"

"Where else would I go? I have no drive to leave home. We've only ever left, because you wanted to."  
"That isn't my fault. You chose to follow me."

"Because you wouldn't have survived without me."

"It was still your choice."

She's right. Damn. I hate when she's right. As we stare at one another, I feel her hand drift down, and her fingers intertwine with mine. It makes my heart beat faster at first, and then slower. Feeling her hand compressed into mine, feeling the warmth of her hands, makes the entire world around me vanish. But I know, I can't act. I have to move on and accept the situation we're in.

"Come on, Dizzy. We should try and get to mom and dad before they get too far ahead."

"We can take our time. We know…how to get home."

She squeezes my hand. I don't squeeze back.

"Come on."

"Cain I really can't do this without your approval."

I raise an eyebrow, and let my hand fall limp. She holds my hand, but I don't hold hers.

"Oh? Why?"

"Because I need you. Stop…stop being so stupid. Stop acting like what happened between us didn't really happen. Because it did. It did and we both enjoyed it. Stop…stop pretending…that I don't matter."

The tone in her voice breaks my heart. She has no idea that if I had it my way, in my own world, I'd never let her go. Not for anything. Not even the world.

"Ever since we were kids…I always wanted your approval. I always…wanted you to just…like me. But it always felt like you were just taking care of me. Don't you understand any of this?"

I want to tell her I do. And that I feel the same way. But instead, I hold it inside.

"What happened between us was fueled by liquor and poor judgment."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

I meet her eyes with mine, and give her a stern look. Pulling free of her grip, I don't think I've ever felt so much hurt before.

"Stop it, Dizzy. It's time to go."

Suddenly, I feel her arms around my waist. Her face, presses into my back. My entire body freezes, as I feel her quietly sobbing into the back of my jacket. I stand still, straight, and move only when Dizzy moves.

"Stop…stop…."

She pleads with me, and it takes every ounce of strength I have, not to comfort her.

"Dizzy…don't do this."

Her small hands grip at the front of my shirt, tugging, pulling, pleading with me to just look at her.

"Liquor…doesn't make people…feel that way…"

I have nothing to say, no explanation. Sighing, I shake my head, and feel strands of my hair brushing against my eyebrows. Dizzy shudders, still sobbing. Her movements, make me sway a bit. People, might see love as a pink or red color. The way I see it, it's blue, black, like a bruise. My skin starts to crawl, and I look up to the sky. Ignoring her pleas like this, is completely out of character for me. But…I know it has to be this way.

"Please…please…"

She grips me tighter. I look down, fighting back my own tears.

"Dizzy, let go. Stop this. Grow up."

"Just _listen_ to me!"

"What do you have to say?"

I pull from her, and turn around. Her tear-stained face is quickly hidden by her arms attempting to wipe away all the excess fluids. She looks like a child. Not someone who is going into the Wasteland by themselves. I can't look at her for very long, because it hurts me to see it. Hurts me, to see her in so much pain. Pain that I caused.

"…If you just…just…talk to me about it all…"

"There isn't anything to talk about, Dizzy. I'm…I'm sorry what happened, happened but you need to grow up now. If you want to go off to The Pitt alone, then start acting like someone who can handle that."

Moments like this, won't kill her. They won't haunt her for years, or make her lose any sleep. Instead, they'll make her stronger. If she wants to follow her dreams, she has to take the good with the bad. Take the broken heart, with the laughter. She has to stare these lies in the face, accept them as truth, and move on.

"Come on, Dizzy, let's go."

I begin to walk, and she follows slowly behind me.

"You can't talk about it, like it won't happen."

She says to me, as she keeps her distance.

"Like what won't happen?"

"That if you're mean, I'll stay. Regardless of how you say goodbye, I still plan on going to The Pitt."

That wasn't my intention. But…subconsciously, was it? I don't know. I just know, I've never felt more worse, than I do now.

"I know, Dizzy. I know that."  
"Then why are you acting like this?"

I turn around to look at her. Her face is moist, but the tears have ceased. There isn't anything on her face, no emotion, except…there's a look in her eyes, that wasn't there before.

"Because it's time we grow up, Dizzy."

"…Can you just tell me, one day, it'll be alright?"

"One day, it will be. When you're older, and wiser, it will be."

She takes a silent comfort in my words. Defeated, Dizzy looks out at something I can't quite see. Suddenly, I feel as if the way I've acted, was wrong. That maybe, she's more scared than she's ever been, and I've simply interpreted everything the wrong way.

"…Hey…hey come here."

I walk towards her, and wrap my arms around her. She buries her face in my chest, and I sigh.

"I'm sorry, Dizzy. Look, come on, wipe away those tears. Everything will be alright one day, you'll see."

I'm afraid of my feelings. Terrified of them, and I'm in need of love, too. But, there's nothing I can do, now. Nothing, except try and help her through this. Help her understand, that she'll get over these feelings. And maybe, I will, too.

"Nothing is right, when we're not together."

"We'll be together when you get back. We live together, Dizzy."

"You don't understand."

No. No I understand completely. It's just…I have to be mature. I have to simply file these feelings away, push them deep down inside. All I can do anymore for her, is support her, like a brother should. Not a lover, but a brother. But, lately, I'm not doing a very good job at that.


	26. Chapter 26

By the time we make it home, mom and dad were already there. The town is in a frenzy, setting up for the yearly celebration. During this time, every cooks food, helps string lights across the center and around the town, and make instruments from dried Brahmin leather. In the years past, it has been filled with excitement, laughter, and celebration. People come from all over, to join in the festivity. Dr. Barrows and Nurse Graves came last year, and I can only expect to see them, before the sun sets and the party begins.

This year, it feels different for me, though. Tomorrow, Dizzy will leave for The Pitt. It'll be her last night here in Megaton, and no one will see her for three or four months. On our walk back home, she told me that's how long mom and dad gave her, before they would look for her. It's enough time I think, for her to try and find herself. In just a few short weeks, Dizzy has learned a lot more than she should have. It'll take time, for it to sink in. Time, that she needs to spend alone. I don't agree with her going by herself, and I don't want her to go, but I have no say in the matter. All I can really do, is accept it.

After our small fight by the river, I was nicer to her. I realized, being mean only because I have caged emotions, isn't the way to go. Not acting upon them, doesn't mean I have to sacrifice the platonic relationship we're trying to rebuild. Simply having her in my life should be enough. Asking anything more, is selfish. For the most part, though, Dizzy seems to have forgotten all about our argument. Halfway here, she started to sing obnoxiously and fight creatures that weren't there. It made me smile inside, to see my sister laugh and smile, like I remember.

I was right, too. The cruelness I showed her, although short-lived, made her stronger. You can't really see it, but it's there. Almost like a sense. Dizzy will take things differently between us, now, and she's so far proven it. She kept herself distanced. She didn't try to hold my hand, or walk unusually close to me. Hopefully, she's accepting and learning that…it simply cannot be.

I retreat to my room, not long after informing mom and dad of our arrival. Busy as busy can be, mom didn't really notice. She and dad always get stressed. Dad gets stressed because of the people he has to monitor, while mom stresses over what kind of liquor she's going to drink. Her preparation includes counting how many bottles of irradiated water we have, and basing the severity of her hangover the next day on it. Dizzy started to help her, but I'm sure she'll grow tired of that, and hopefully begin to pack a pack of food to bring with her tomorrow. I doubt that, though. She's not always smart.

Flopping down on my bed, I'm happy to have the softness of it beneath my back. People really don't appreciate, how lucky they are to have such a simple thing as a bed. But once you spend time out in the Wastes, sleeping on the hard land, you do. As I begin to take off my boots, I wonder, how mom and dad did it for so long. I'm sure after a while they got use to it, but, it isn't something you really get use to. A knock on my door causes me to look up, as I kick off my boot and stretch my foot out.

"Yeah? What's up?"

I call, and my mother pokes her head in. She's all smiles and excitement. Once the sun goes down, the celebration begins. My room is filled with the scent of cooking food coming in from the outside. It smells delicious.

"Hey, I just thought I'd let you know Gob's expecting Zack back tonight."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. He told Gob he'd be back in time for the celebration."

"That's great! Maybe I'll talk to him, it's been too long."

"Give tonight to Gob. You can see him in the morning."

Zack and I are close. I'm not sure, how that came to be. Maybe it's because, although he's older than me, he simply took a liking to me as a child. He was always around, helping my mom and dad, spending time around the house. Eventually I began to go to him to talk or just bullshit. I've missed him, but haven't thought much of him. Really it's been Gob who was worried. But, not too worried. Often he'd claim he had nothing to be concerned with, since Zack was trained by both of my parents.

Mom leaves, closing my bedroom door behind her. I hear her light footsteps heading down the stairs, and I take this time to lie back and relax on my bed. You don't know how comforting it is, to lie on a soft bed and smell the sweet scent of fresh food being cooked. I think really, it's a comfort only home can bring. I can't enjoy it for very long, though, because soon there's another light knock on my door.

"Yeah?"

This time, it isn't mom or dad, but Dizzy.

"Hey I got news."

Everyone has news these days, huh?

"Oh yeah? If it's about Zack, mom already told me."

Dizzy shakes her head, smiling.

"No, it's about Barrows. See he's coming. He got here yesterday, he's been staying with Gob. I thought you might like to know."

"Why's that?"

Her face falls, as if I've forgotten something important. I raise my eyebrow to her as I put my arms behind my head.

"I thought you wanted to talk to him."

I think, but I can't remember anything quite off the top of my head.

"Was I supposed to?"

"About…about your radiation, Cain."

Oh, I remember now. Yeah. The air grows stale, and stiff, as Dizzy removes herself from the situation at hand. She closes the door like mom did, letting me finally relax and mull over my thoughts. All I can really think about now though, is the possibility of becoming immune to radiation.

Barrows can do it, there's no real doubt about that. He's a genius, and his specialties have to deal with radiation. Thing is, I don't want something to go wrong, and end up really being dad's exact clone. Imagine, how confusing that would be to mom and Dizzy. There's too many mistakes to be made in that scenario. Then again…though, I could live forever. If everything worked out well, I wouldn't have to worry about aging, or about leaving Dizzy before I'm ready. Mom is pushing fifty-something, I think, but looks and acts like she's in her late twenties. Dad is even older, three-hundred something, and still has the same body he did when he was ghoulified. Dizzy, isn't an exception. Barrows said her aging will stop around the same time mom's did, and she'll live a long and healthy life.

As kids, Dizzy and myself both saw Barrows quite often. Because he truly is the best in the land. Church is alright, but he's really old, and his apprentice isn't that great. Plus, Church isn't as smart as Barrows. Barrows has a specialty, and a lab, and research he's proven. Church on the other hand, is just like a Wasteland doctor. You go to him for stimpacks or to help with an addiction or injury, and that's about it. Everything else or worse you either deal with or take care of yourself. You could go to Barrows, but unless you're a friend he'll really make you work for his services.

I close my eyes, trying to relax a bit more, and force the thoughts of everything else away. People laugh outside, talk, cook. They're filled with excitement. I don't want to hear their joy, though. I don't want to hear their instruments, and the noise they call music. Rubbing my face, I groan a bit, trying to just ignore and block it all out. Yet another knock on my door interrupts my relaxation.

"Yeah what is it?"

I call, looking over. My door opens, and my dad steps in. He has a bundle of something in his arms, and looks…worried. I sit up, knowing this is a bit more serious than I initially thought.

"Dad? Hey, dad, what's wrong?"

He closes the door behind him, and sighs. Opening the bundle in his arms, he pulls out a pre-war suit. I've never, in my entire life, ever seen my father wear anything aside from his leather armor. I mean, there were times when it was being cleaned and repaired and he'd have to wear Wasteland clothes, but he wasn't too thrilled about that.

"The hell you have that for?"

My dad clears his throat, still holding up the white suit. It has thin black lines on it. There's even shoes to match, black ones, I can see them at the bottom of the sack.

"Would this look decent on me?"

"…What?"

"I'm just wondering, man to man, how would this look?"

I stare at him like he has six heads. He looks at me, though, waiting for my approval. Did my own father finally lose it?

"…Uh…well I mean…I don't know. I've never seen you in anything other than armor. Why not ask mom? Or Dizzy? They're better at this than me…"

"I can't. Dizzy would tell your mother, and it's a secret. Mention this to no one."

"A secret? Dad, you feeling alright? Really, I'm concerned."

He puts away the suit, gently might I add. Once the sack is closed tightly, he sighs again, running his hands over his face.

"Cain…you have to understand I grew up in a very different time."

"Yeah, and place, mind you."

"Right. Many…many things back when I was human, were different. We went, the people rather, went by different customs. When…when a man loved someone, often times he would marry her."

"There's no use for that out here."

"I know, but…"

My face falls. I see the worry in my father's eyes. And fear. I don't think I've ever seen him scared of anything. Not a Deathclaw or Behemouth could strike fear in him. He was the strongest, most bravest man I knew. Now, he stands before me, worried and nervous.

"Dad, you're going to ask mom to marry you?"

His silence and stiff nod is enough of an answer. A part of me wants to laugh at it, mainly because it is pretty inane and useless out here. Whereas, another part of me, wants to be overjoyed for him. And mom. Because…they've been together for decades, and through a whole lot more. Maybe, they deserve it.

"Wait, when are you doing this?"

I ask him, lighting a cigarette. I hand him one, lord knows he needs it more than me. It's not mom's answer that scares him, since we all know she's going to say yes. I think it's the act of doing it that scares him.

"Tonight."

"At the celebration?"

"Yes."

"In front of everyone?"

"Yes."

"Dad, you hate that kind of attention."

"This isn't about me, Cain. This is about your mother, and we both know she loves to be the center of attention."

"Yeah. Wow, sorry I just…this is hard to digest."

"Do you have arguments against it?"

"What? What, no. Dad, it's…not going to make much of a difference."

"To me, it will."

I inhale on my cigarette, and blow smokes into the air.

"Why?"

He plays with his hands, while his cigarette rests between his teeth. He has yet to light it. I think right now, that's the least of his concerns.

"Because it was what I once knew. It will…help make everything feel a bit more…normal."

"You mean pre-war?"

"Yes. Slowly…this world will no longer be 'pre-war'. If I am alive for that day, I would like, to enjoy it as such."

I smile at my dad, and stand up. Patting his shoulder, I nod my head.

"I think you're going to make a great husband, dad."

He smiles at me, hearing the sarcasm in my voice. The titles don't make a difference, but to him I suppose it does. Hell if it makes them happy, I'm going to support it. At least someone in this family can be.

"Right, well, I need to help the townsfolk prepare. Mind, holding on to this for me? I'll just put it on later."

"Sure, that's fine."

He leaves, and the suit remains on my floor, safe in the sack it was brought in. Wow. Mom and dad are going to get married. I know, it doesn't matter much out here, but still. Whether it matters or not, it's still a step. Showing, at least, they won't ever really leave one another. As if their past didn't prove that enough. I think dad just wants to make mom as happy as he can, and this is kind of the only way he knows how to anymore. Sure he does nice things, he always tries to anyways, in his own strange ways. Like I've seen him a few times letting mom catch him doing push ups, or pull ups, because she likes seeing that kind of stuff. Maybe it's just weird to me, though, because they're my parents.

"Charon! Charon!"

Through the thin walls, I hear my mother in the next room calling for my dad like a crazed woman. She's always called him like that, though. Not too long after, I hear my father's heavy footsteps going towards her. Whatever she's freaking out about, probably isn't important.

Laying back down on my bed, I roll to my side after taking off my jacket. It'll be a bit, until the celebration starts. It's been a while since I've had a decent sleep, too. There's time for a nap, I think. That is, if people can cease with the knocking on my door.

"What now?"

I call, and hear my door open and close. Someone is inside my room. It can only be one of three people.

"Watcha doin'?"

Dizzy.

"Trying to nap. Can you alert the house to leave me alone for a bit?"

"What's in the sack?"

She completely ignores me, and I roll over to look at her.

"I don't know, leave it."

Nudging it with her toe, she makes a face of disgust.

"It's probably your nasty underwear. Or worse."

"Worse?"

Her eyes shift side to side, and she leans down. Putting her hand to the side of her mouth, she whispers. It reminds me of our childhood.

"Man-juice rags."

"That's disgusting, Dizzy. Get out of my room."

"No, you having a sack of that is disgusting."

I roll my eyes at her. This _really_ reminds me of our childhood.

"Whatever, just go I want to nap."

"Can I nap too?"

"What?"

Dizzy yawns, and stretches.

"It's been a bit since either one of us slept in a bed. Yours is big enough, it's bigger than mine."

"Because I'm bigger than you."

"Push over."

"What? No, go to your room."

She doesn't listen, and as she maneuvers out of her shoes, she wiggles on to the bed with me.

"Dizzy, stop it. Go to your room."

"Come on push over."

Reluctantly, I do. I suppose…there isn't any harm in letting her get this close. After all, it is her last night here. After this, it'll be a while before I see her, let alone stand close to her, or share a bed with her.

"Fine."

I act more hesitant than I really am. To be honest, inside, I just want to grab her. Hold her, and never let her go. Never, let anything come to hurt her. Keep her safe, keep her happy. But I think this way, and it makes me feel like I'm viewing her as my personal pet, than a person. Than…a sister.

"I haven't slept in almost two days…"

Dizzy sighs, getting under my thin blanket with me. She rolls onto her side, the one that faces me.

"This reminds me of when we were kids, you know."

She tells me, as if I could forget. When she was little, she'd crawl into bed with me, claiming nightmares. I never minded. I liked having her there. I felt brave, when I could make her forget her dreams, and fall back asleep.

"Yeah…I can remember."

"They called mom the Lone Wanderer, you know."

Dizzy says, closing her eyes. I lie on my back, with my arms behind my head. Faintly, I can see strands of my hair at the tops of my eyes.

"Well, because think about it. Mom…mom was thrown out of her home, lost everyone she knew, lost her dad, didn't have a mom to begin with. Then, everyone started to hate her for the wrong reasons. She was Lone."

"…How did she mentally survive that? I can't imagine…losing my family, you or mom and dad like that."

"…I don't know. I think just the thrill of being somewhere new distracted her long enough. Then, she met dad. And, really, she wasn't alone anymore."

"Yeah. She had dad. He really…helped her."

"You know the story now, why not just ask them?"

She moves closer to me, thinking I don't notice. I notice, but I choose not to mind. For once, I don't want to.

"Because I don't know if mom is okay talking about it."

"She is. She loves it. She…had a lot of fun back then."

"Doesn't seem like fun."

"She had dad with her, and they made fun."

"How do you know that?"

I shrug, and close my eyes.

"Dunno, I just do."

Dizzy rests her hand on my stomach. I feel it, small, delicate. Those hands of hers have yet to experience a fraction of what mom's did. I wonder, if just because Dizzy took out a few Raiders, if she's ready to be on her own.

"I'm kind of scared."

Dizzy tells me, her voice soft with sleep.

"Of what?"

"Being alone. But…I feel like I have to do it. For myself."

Reaching down, I take her hand in mine. She's warm to the touch, and her fingers, smooth and soft. If I hold them too hard, I might break them.

"You won't be alone for long. You'll come home sooner than you know."

"…Still. It's going to be weird not having you there to annoy."

"Pretend we're fighting."

"No, that won't work."

She sleepily grips my fingers.

"Will you be different when I come home?"

"I'll be the same as I am now, Diz. More awake, but the same."

Her head finds its way into the crook of my arm. Instinctively, I wrap my arm around her shoulders, holding her close to me. I love her, more than she can ever imagine. I wish I could tell her this, because if I could, she may not feel so alone.

"I'm going to miss you, Cain."

"Yeah…I'm going to miss you, too."

With every fiber in my being, I want her to stay. Want things to stay just as they are right now, like this. With the noise of preparations outside, with my parents busy doing their own things, Dizzy and I are completely alone, free to do what we please, and talk of whatever we wish, within the confines of my own room. Everything I want to talk to her about, everything I want to tell her, should never escape my mind. I want to tell her we belong together. That against all the odds, it's what needs to happen. But, that's only seeing the world in black and white, and we live in such a gray area.

"Hey, Diz?"

I hope she isn't sleeping, but at the same time, I hope she is. Because then I won't have to say, what I want to say.

"…Yeah?"

She's awake. But, just barely.

"Come back…come back in once piece. I won't leave Megaton, until you do, alright?"

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

I kiss the top of her head, and don't regret it afterwards. There's nothing wrong, with that. No hidden motives, no hidden agenda. Simply comforting her. Closing my eyes, I can faintly hear my mother singing in the room over. She only sings that song, when my father asks her to. It's about a secret chord, about finding hallelujah, and about the sadder side, of love. My mother's sultry voice, fits in with the somber feelings that fill my room. I hold Dizzy a bit tighter, hoping, we have a brighter future.


	27. Chapter 27

When mom comes in to wake us up, it's night, and the celebration around Megaton has already started. Music floats in through the cracks of the house, and dances in my tired ears. Beside me, Dizzy sleeps, still and quiet.

"You two going to come out? Come on! This one's the best yet!"

I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. Dizzy moans and rolls over, as I feel the exhaustion deep within my bones.

"You say that every year, mom."

Opening my eyes, I look at her. Mom. She smiles, and she holds a bottle of wine in her hand. But, there's something off about her. Almost as if she's forcing her cheeriness. I raise an eyebrow as Dizzy begins to stir and wake.

"Mom? Are you alright?"

Mom looks paler than usual. Most of the time, all of the time, she has a nice tan from being in the sun. Now, it looks almost as if she hasn't been out in a few days. But I know that isn't true. Mom never stays in the house for more than a few hours.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

She seems out of breath, too. Which is also really unusual for mom. Her and Dizzy are two balls of endless energy, leaving dad and I in the dust and struggling to keep up.

"You look off, mom, you sure you're alright?"

I maneuver over Dizzy and stand in front of mom. She looks at my tired face, and lifts her hand. Grazing my unshaven stubble, she smiles.

"You…are so much like your father, you know that?"

There's softness in her voice, and a gentle look in her eyes. As if she's looking at a past she can't remember. I smile at her, a bit concerned by her actions.

"Yeah, mom, I know."

Her hand falls, and she sways a bit. Before she falls, she catches herself. Brushing it off, mom smiles, as if I'm not supposed to worry.

"I'll see you and your sister outside, alright? It's going to be a beautiful night."

Before I can say another word, mom leaves my room and shuts the door behind her. Dizzy moans again, and I hear her sit up behind me.

"What's up with mom?"

She asks, yawning. I stretch my arms and back before answering her.

"I'm not sure…were you awake for that?"

"Kinda. She seemed a bit different."

"Yeah, I thought so too. She seemed tired, didn't she?"

I look back at Dizzy as she nods, yawning again.

"Yeah but not like, tired like we are. Almost mentally tired."

Looking back at my bedroom door, I sigh. Mom has a particular way of acting and doing things. Usually, when that way is out-of-sorts, there is something wrong. It's only been wrong a select few times, and that was because her and dad got into a small fight. But fighting with mom would be the last thing on dad's mind right now. And it didn't seem as if she was angry at anyone, or even sad.

"Maybe it's nothing and we're just delusional from being tired. And stressed. Mostly tired."

"Yeah, Diz, that could be it."

"I just want to _sleep_! I don't even want to go to this stupid party."

I smirk at Dizzy, and pull the covers from her.

"Come on, it's your last night in Megaton. At least go out with a bang."

"I guess you're right. I'm just so exhausted…"

"We all are, Diz, but come on."

Sitting down, I throw on my boots as Dizzy wakes herself up. The music goes on outside, followed by cheers and laughter from the citizens, and others. I hear Gob's familiar voice just outside my window, and Zack's deeper one. I'm glad he returned okay, and maybe I'll get the chance to talk to him later. For now, though, I need to concentrate on staying awake through this all-night party.

As Dizzy and I make our way down to the kitchen, our parents are unsurprisingly, nowhere in sight. Dizzy lets out another loud yawn, before grabbing a bottle of irradiated water off of the storage shelf.

"To wake me up."

She tells me, even though I wasn't going to ask.

"Yeah I can see that."

I go to sit down at the table, but instead my eye catches something. It's long, and almost transparent, and it sits on the table. At first I think it's a thin piece of paper, but I see quickly that it isn't.

"Diz? Did you burn and peel somehow?"

"What?"

Picking up the strip of flesh from the table, I hold it up for her to see. It is skin, at least it was. It almost looks like when you get burned, and your skin peels. But, hardly anyone burns out here. You get use to the sun, and your skin tans from it. Dizzy crinkles her nose at me, at the skin in my hand.

"Ew, no. Where'd you find that?"

"It was right here on the table."

"Cain, if I was shedding like that, the last place I would leave it would be on the table. That's disgusting."

"You're telling me."

I'm worried now. First mom acts strange, and then I find this. I know there's probably no correlation between the two, but it worries me.

"Maybe it's from dad, ya know? He's a ghoul and all. Losing skin is part of his everyday routine."

"Yeah but Diz he's already ghoulified. Why would he keep losing skin?"

She shrugs, finishing her water and not as concerned as I am.

"I don't know. Maybe he's going feral?"

"Impossible."

I toss the strip of peeled skin into the trash can. Dizzy brushes it off as if it's nothing, and I can understand why. Dad is a ghoul, and him losing skin shouldn't be uncommon. I don't know why I'm so worried about this. Sighing, I decide maybe it's best if I just ignore it. After all, it's probably nothing anyways.

"Come on, let's get out there and socialize."

I say to Dizzy, and she nods. I don't like going to this yearly thing, as fun as it is. Maybe it's just me, but I never really enjoyed large groups of people. My father is the same way. But we're sort of obligated to go. Dad and mom run Megaton as a pair, and we're their children. Going and meeting with the locals and passer-through people is something we have to do. As if it's this large, important unspoken rule. Which I'm sure it is.


	28. Chapter 28

(Dizzy)

It's my last night in Megaton. I know that I should be enthused. I should be happy, rejoicing at the fact that I get to go out into the Capital Wasteland and fulfill this wanderlust I've been keeping buried inside. A part of me, I guess, is a bit excited. But mostly I'm just feeling lonely. As Cain and I leave our house to go take our place in the celebration by talking and mingling, there's this big, dark cloud that follows me. There's a pitfall in my stomach, every time I look at him. Or my father. Or my mother. Everyone in town, really.

People change when they grow up. They become too involved with everything, hormones and whatnot, and the little things don't hold much importance to anyone. Most of the time, people simply grow out of it, wrongs are forgiven, and things go back to the way they were. I wish I could say I'm a prime example of that, but, I'm not. If I could change it, though, and turn back time…I'd do it differently.

As a child, I was so happy. I had both my father, and Cain watching over me. Above all, I was a daddy's girl. I remember, being so little, and my high-pitched voice echoing over Megaton whenever I lost him. To me, he was a hero. He was everything and anything I wanted him to be. In my eyes, still, my father does no wrong. Back then, even now a bit, he treated strangers with hostility, and judgments. But, with me…he was different. He was so lovingly gentle. People often stopped to watch us play together, because it was cute, I suppose. I would make him play teahouse with me, and we'd sip fake tea out of imaginary cups. And dad played along with it, too. He never broke his role from Mrs. Fathington. Whomever she was.

But when something went wrong, when I got hurt, or bullied, or strange men asked me strange things, he was there. My brother was always there first, but it was different. I wanted to be Cain. Be accepted by him, follow him, and do everything he did. With my father, I could just be me. I could be Dizzy. As much as Dizzy as I could be at that young age. Whenever something happened, my father would scoop me in those large arms, and hold me in one, with his gun in the other. I knew when that gun came out, and he held me close, no one would dare try to rip my pretty dress.

Dad would let me ride on his shoulders, too. I'd ride on his shoulders, and be taller than anyone in the whole world. Taller than Cain, even. It meant so much to me back then, to have their love. Their acceptance. My mother and I were always close, but I never felt that I could open up to her. For my entire life, I felt they were hiding something from me. And turns out, they were. That secret, though, is what kept my mother and I from really bonding. Of course I love her, she's my mother, and I know she loves me. Together, though, we act more like friends or sisters, than mother and daughter.

Then things changed. Cain hit puberty. Dad decided it was time to teach him how to defend himself. Night after night, I'd be alone. I wasn't mad that I wasn't with them, I was mad that both of them were gone at the same time. Often, they wouldn't come back until I was asleep. Mom would carry me to my room, and usually I'd wake up in the middle of the night. I'd creep downstairs, sometimes, to see if anyone was awake. There were times when my dad was. He would be reading a pre-war book someone found, or just tinkering with his gun.

He'd call me over, and I'd sit with him.

"Dizzy,"

He'd say…

"You're going to need a gun one day, so you better start thinking about which one you want."

And I'd point and smile and go…

"Yours, daddy! I want your gun!"

And we'd laugh for a bit, as I played with the empty shotgun. He always emptied it before letting me play.

"My gun is far too powerful for you. You're a small girl, you need a small gun."

"But I'm strong, daddy. I'm going to be just like you, and just like Cain."

Dad always had a big grin on his face when I'd say that. Those moments alone with him, late at night when we should be sleeping…I hold them close. Because…everything…changes.

Pretty soon, it was me who hit puberty. I stopped caring about my parents, and by then given up on Cain, who was far too cool to be seen with me anyways. It wasn't like my home life was bad, or anything. It was great, and I was a happy kid. Thing is, though, that acceptance I longed for from my brother was never given. Although dad always says how much I remind him of himself, Cain never said it. Cain…was different.

From a young age, I knew he was strange. There was always something off about him. As he grew, and I grew, I began to see how little of mom there was in him. He didn't take on any of her traits, looks, or moods. Instead he was a mirror image of my father, and grew into it fast. By the time he was seventeen, Cain was as big and broad as dad. Zack at least, holds semblance to Gob. But Cain…you can tell, he wasn't my mother's child. So I guess, that's where the feelings began, too.

Since I knew something was off, although we were raised as siblings, I began to see him differently. My father was my savior, but Cain was something my father wasn't. Cain was interesting. He was mysterious, intriguing, and offered me comfort that my father could never give, due to his role as a father. I felt safe with dad, but I felt like a girl with Cain. He'd tell me all the time, how pretty I was, when all the other boys laughed at me. When he held my hand, it made me warm inside. It wasn't something a sibling should feel for their other.

I realized when I got into my teens what I was feeling. I saw him as handsome, and since he looks exactly like my father, I knew it was wrong. So, I sought rebellion and comfort in the Raiders. I wanted to prove to myself I was normal, and the feelings I held for Cain could be given to some other boy. I tried so hard, but nothing ever did, or does, compare to what I feel for him. When the inevitable truth of everything came out, it didn't make me feel better. When Cain kissed me, it made me happy, but it scared me, too. I felt like I was kissing my dad. He's a perfect replica of him, and it didn't sit well. It still doesn't. Inside, I feel like a freak.

I hold no strange feelings for my father. I love him, more than any man because he is my father. And he's great to me, and he loves me. But it's a paternal love. With Cain, though, I feel awkward, because I look at him, and see my dad. And thankfully, he's been doing all he can to avoid those feelings I seem to be radiating. I don't want to be a freak anymore. I want my family to love me like they did.

They think I'm an annoyance. A burden, sometimes. Because I stuck with this attitude that I hate. I know I can change it, and there are days when I desperately want to. But, I can't. Because this is the Dizzy they're use to. If I said something smart, or calm, or didn't overreact, they'd think it was strange. They'd think that I'd gone off the deep end. The last thing they would think, is that I'm not who I pretended to be. They don't know, I only acted that way because I wanted to be normal. Because I wanted to prove I didn't love or care about my brother in this way. Even though, late at night, he'd be the only one I wanted to see. Because at night…it gets lonely, knowing you have no one to talk to. No one to confide in. I can't even go to my father, because he too, is use to my outward attitude. Being me, gets lonely.

But there's hope. Because this whole 'Dizzy going out into the Wasteland' thing is the perfect excuse. It's an excuse for me to go out, and come back completely different. Come back as the real me, and blame the change on the adventure. Because right now, if I were to be who I am, there wouldn't be an excuse and no one would believe me. But going out alone, is all I need.

"Hey, where's mom and dad?"

I ask Cain as we head into the crowd. All we really have to do tonight is make an appearance. Usually I'd go off with the Raiders and spend this night drunk and disoriented. Tonight, though, I don't want to do that. Not that I still run with them, but still. Tonight, I just want to do what I've always wanted, and hangout in Megaton.

"Dunno, off doing their own thing probably."

Cain walks close to me, and people move out of his way with ease. His size and muscle, along with the cold look in his blue eyes puts fear in those who don't know him. It's the same exact way with my father.

"We should find them. It _is_ my last night after all."

See that right there? That's the selfishness they've all grown accustomed to. The selfishness that isn't really Dizzy.

"Ah, yeah, in a bit."

We find a nice clear area in front of the giant fire. On a cold night like this, the heat feels nice. Like the perfect temperature you can never get beneath a hot, desert sun. Around us, people laugh, talk, joke, and play music. It's loud, but, if you try, you can tone it out. And when you do, you're left with a giant fire burning in the middle of the Capital Wasteland, and a sky filled with a billion tiny stars, and a feeling of peace that matches none.

Cain and I don't speak, we relax and get lost in our own words. I wonder if, these feelings I have will ever vanish? I hope, because I know Cain and I can never truly be together. Everything is so…fucked because of circumstances. It's all a mess. Had we been two strangers as it should have been, then…maybe…there'd be hope.

As I stare at the stars, I feel Cain's fingers brush mine, and it jolts me from my thoughts. I look over at him, the fire reflecting in his eyes. He's handsome, you know. The perfect picture of a man any woman would desire. Perfectly chiseled features, created to be…the best soldier. Better, than my father. But, no one is better than him.

"Sorry."

He mutters, and gets a look on his face. It's a look that I recognize, because he had it a lot when he'd keep secrets from me as a child. The music slows a bit in the background, giving the performers a chance to rest.

"What's on your mind, huh?"

I ask him, poking his arm. He looks away from the fire, and at the crowd. His hair blows in a cool breeze.

"…I just…am really going to miss you, is all."

"Yeah, how can you not?"

"Dizzy, be serious."

"Sorry."

And I am. I hate when I'm sarcastic like that. I think I get my underlying serious tone from my father. I only act dramatic, because it's expected.

"Diz, I want you to know, that the things I say when I'm upset…I don't mean them."

"What do you mean?"

"Like when I'm mad at you, and say mean things. I don't mean them."

"I know you don't. Why are you telling me this?"

"I have no idea."

I smirk at him, and he looks at me. I like, when he smiles back. Cain has a nice smile. I don't get to enjoy it for long, though. Because suddenly the music stops, and the people grow quiet. Cain and I look around, and see worried expressions on everyone's faces. Odd. Worries are usually forgotten on this night. We stand up, giving one another confused looks. After all what could possibly have happened?

People begin to crowd around one small area. Cain takes my wrist in his hand, and pulls me towards the crowd. We push though, and in the middle, is my mother, father, Gob and Zack. Only, my mother isn't standing. She's on the ground, with her eyes closed.

"Mom?"

I say over the whispers and hushed voices. Cain drops my wrist as we move closer. I notice my dad is in a pre-war suit, which is very odd seeing as how he's never worn anything except his leather armor. But right now this is a small detail, because mom's unconscious in his arms.

"Dad? Dad, what's wrong with mom?"

Cain starts to make everyone move away, and I kneel down in front of dad. I notice mom's skin is peeling really badly, and I'm scared to touch her.

"I don't know, we have to get her home."

Dad tells me, as he lifts her off the ground with ease. Even after a lifetime of seeing his strength, it's still astounding to me. Cain, Gob, Zack and I all follow in a line. Watching the way my father carries my mother, makes me see him differently. Almost as if a switch in my head went off. He doesn't carry her, like some sack of potatoes. Instead, he's careful, delicate, and looks in every direction before taking another step. The citizens of Megaton, and even those just passing through, know to stay away. It's this energy he's putting off. I see now, why my father is so respected, and so feared.

We get mom onto the couch of our home. She's breathing, and everyone crowds around. My father is very concerned, and rightfully so.

"She would only lose skin if she was ghoulifying…"

Gob says, and we look at him.

"No, no it's not ghoulification. The process was permanently stopped. Why begin again after so many years?"

My father asks, while Cain and I remain silent. This is something for Zack, Gob and dad. Not children.

"What else could it be, Charon?"

There's stiff silence. My mother's skin hangs on, in clear strips. There's more underneath, but mom has a lot of scar tissue. There's even places on her that have only bones and muscle. My dad smoothes her hair, and a clump of it falls out in his hand. His eyes grow wide, and he stands up.

"It's Trog."

He states, and everyone looks around at one another.

"Dad? Dad what's that? Is mom going to be alright?"

I love my mom, I don't want her to be in danger. I don't want her to be in pain.

"…It's a disease from The Pitt. Your mother contracted it thirty some-odd years ago. Twenty, maybe, I'm not sure. She made a full recovery, but these are the signs."

"If she made a recovery, why does it start now? Is there a cure?"

My brother asks, concerned.

"Perhaps age, and the Capital Wasteland is growing open. Someone from The Pitt could have possibly given it to her. She was never given the cure, and it could be that without it, it will act."

"So there is a cure then. Where is it?"

I look up at my brother, at the worry on his face. Is it wrong of me, to still call him 'brother'?

"The Pitt. For now, all we can do is rest, and make sure she is safe. Tomorrow I will make the trip. Dizzy, Cain, in my absence, you must care for your mother. She may say things, do things, and act violently. Do not, under any circumstances, let her leave this house."

After my father finishes his lecture, he sends everyone away. The celebration outside goes on, but inside, it's stopped. Gob and Zack return home. I didn't even get to speak with Zack. Cain and I are banished upstairs, while my father busies himself with my mother downstairs.

We listen, obedient. Mom never gets sick, with anything really. It's rare, since aside from Cain we're all immune to radiation. I've never seen dad so worried before. He looked…he looked almost scared. But mom's overcome a lot worse, hasn't she? Maybe since it's been so long since they've had to overcome much of anything, dad's forgotten what it feels like. I don't know. I just know, that I have no idea what Trog is, how mom got it, or if she's going to be okay. This family works as a unit. Without mom, we'd be broken.

I follow Cain into his room, not wanting to be alone. I think he notices this, because he doesn't kick me out. Which is his habit these days. It's understandable, though. He sighs, sitting on his bed and running his fingers through his hair. Outside, people continue on as if nothing happened. They probably think mom drank too much, as most people do on this night.

"…We can't let dad go."

Cain says, as I lean against the wall. I look at him, confused.

"What?"

He lights a cigarette, and shakes his head. I take one from him, and light it myself.

"We can't let dad go, Diz."

"Why not? He's perfectly capable of getting there and back. And he knows what to look for."

Cain stands up and starts to pace. He's always paced, when he's thinking and planning. It's kind of cute, actually.

"But are we perfectly capable of dealing with mom? We don't know what to expect, and we don't know how long dad'll be gone. What if something happens to her? Dad won't ever forgive us, kids or not you know that as well as I do."

"Apparently not, because I'm not his genetic clone…"

Cain pauses for a minute, thought registering on his face. He sighs, and takes long drags of his cigarettes.

"…Dizzy dad…dad was brought up in a way where…they became very protective of whom they were with, let's put it that way. For a really long time dad's only had mom. Following?"

"So far…I guess."

"Alright now think, if the person you were loving, protecting, sharing memories with for thirty some odd years just dies right before your eyes. Dad…may be normal on the outside, but there's deep emotional and mental scars in him. Trust me, Diz, he cannot lose mom."

I don't get what Cain is saying, but there's this look on his face that tells me he isn't being sarcastic. I take a drag of my own cigarette, and wait for him to continue.

"Alright, so what do we do?"

"We go ourselves."

"What?"

"Dizzy, you heard me. This is the adventure you've been waiting for, right? You and I are young, fit, we can do this. We know we have to get to The Pitt, and I have a map."

"You have a map?"

"Yeah but that's not the point. Look, dad can stay here. He'll make sure nothing happens to mom, and we can head out. We're looking for a cure to Trog, and it's in The Pitt. That's more than enough information."

"And you just think dad's gonna let his only biological daughter saunter off with her not-really-big-brother to help their ailing mother when he himself is perfectly capable of doing it himself? And probably been there before, might I add."

Cain gets a mischievous smirk on his face. It's one I haven't seen in a long while. One I've missed terribly.

"No. Which is why we don't tell him."

"You're suggesting we sneak out?"

"Exactly."

It feels like the roles have switched. As if I've become responsible, and Cain reckless. He sees the worry on my face, as I smoke my cigarette and run my fingers through my short, short hair.

"Cain…"

Stepping close to me, Cain looks down. I'm about two inches taller than mom, if that, and Cain is the exact same height as dad. I almost reach his shoulder.

"Dizzy, trust me. Please."

"…Why? All of a sudden…you want to leave when you wouldn't go with me when I thought I was going alone."

"Because you can still do that, but with me."

"You didn't want to go before."

"I didn't have a choice, Diz. You had to do it alone, but, given the circumstances…"

I reach up and smack him over the top of his head.

"You're delirious. Go to bed. Let's discuss this in the morning."

I turn to leave, but Cain grabs my wrist. Turning around, I look in his eyes. There's something new there. Something fresh.

"Dizzy. We can have our own adventure. We can do this."

Call me crazy, but, for some reason…his words give me a bit of hope.


	29. Chapter 29

(Charon)

It's definitely Trog. Dez's skin peels like it did the day she first returned to me in Underworld, fresh from The Pitt. Of course, it looks like a horrible sun burn right now, but I can only assume with time it will progress and ultimately worsen. She never went into detail, about what exactly happened when one turned into a Trog. Only that they hopped on all fours, and had no hair or gender. Similar, to that of a feral ghoul.

I had planned to propose to her, in an act of pre-war romance. If anything, it would have made her smile. After thirty years, I still feel the warmth I felt when we first met, when she smiles at me. She sleep now, just as I should be doing. But instead I cannot. I woke a few hours ago, a dreamless sleep, and saw the sunrise. Over Megaton, with sleeping, drunken bodies passed out from the festivities before. The celebration isn't my idea of fun, but Dezbe enjoys it. At least, she did.

Today, hopefully, I will begin my travel to The Pitt. Finding a cure isn't what worries me. It is time, that worries me. I do not know how fast this disease moves, or the effects. Only that I am entrusting two young adults with the task of caring for a mother, with a disease they know even less about than me. It is something that does not rest easy with me. There are so many things, that could possibly go wrong. On both my end, and my children's end. It is worse, however, to simply sit and wait for a miracle.

Standing up from the floor, I am careful not to wake Dezbe as I climb the stairs. Knowing Dizzy, she will have slept in Cain's room. Their relationship grows stronger, closer, and at times I remember when they were children. It was not my bedroom, Dizzy ran to when she was scared of imaginary monsters. It was Cain's. She has kept that tradition alive throughout the years.

My eyes are heavy, and tired. With the time spent here in Megaton, much of my routine has changed. No longer to I spend long nights, waiting for an enemy that may not come. I no longer rise at dawn, and I no longer watch everything with a keen eye. I have let my guard down. Yet it rises, when need be. I will never lose my skills, only Megaton puts them to rest. My body is tired, not use to being up all night since Dizzy was a baby. Caring for a newborn, is worse than fighting a Deathclaw. Although it has its rewards, I'll admit.

My boots are heavy against the floor, but I pay it no mind. Dezbe, and everyone else, is a heavy sleeper yet will rise at the drop of a bullet casing. It is simply the way things work. Before I open Cain's door, I knock a bit to make sure I'm not intruding on whatever it is young men and women do these days behind closed doors. It could be from anywhere between sex, or a tender heart-to-heart. I'm too tired, to care about which I walk into, as I open the door. Not surprisingly, there is no answer to my knock. They have a reputation, for sleeping late. Just as their mother does. Without thinking twice, I open the door.

"Cain, Dizzy. It is time to get up. I am…"

I look around to find nothing. There is no trace, of either my son, or my daughter. My skills kick in, as I quickly observe Cain's room. No shoes, no jacket, no weapons. He has left. Perhaps, though, he did not take Dizzy with him. Hurried, I make my way towards her room and throw open the door. I find the same results. They would have had to be very quiet, or else their departure would have waken me. I was not in a deep sleep. Going back to Cain's room, I find how they escaped.

Hanging from outside Cain's window, is a rope. One, they shimmied down. Fresh footprints are at the bottom, and they are deep from what I can tell. Knowing they are deep from the second floor, means they jumped halfway down. The footsteps vanish soon, telling me they rushed, lifted the dirt as they ran, and the wind cleared their trails. I see Gob heading towards my home from Cain's window. There is no time.

Downstairs, Dez still sleeps, her breathing deep and shallow. Loading my gun, I strap it to my back. Last night I changed back into my leather armor, in case anything happened. The suit, anyways, didn't suit me. It wasn't comfortable. I didn't feel like myself. Glancing over at Dez, as I pause my motions of getting ready, I can't help but feel worried. She has been injured, and near death so many times in the past. But never, has she fell ill. Always, it seemed, she was in good spirits. Healthy. Unless she was wounded. I've never had to quite deal, with Dez as being sick. She simply never was. Her immune system, for someone who was raised in a vault, was astounding. In time, it only grew with her immunization to radiation. But now, the Trog may take her over. It may consume her, if I cannot find the cure fast enough.

Before I am able to leave my home, Gob walks in. Good. I won't have to leave Dez's side and go looking for him. It saves me time. He notices the look on my face, and I notice the look on his. He is calmer, more subdued. Perhaps Zack's return has something to do with that.

"I must speak with you."

I say, grabbing his arm and pulling him outside. Dez needs her rest, and our words may wake her. I shut the door silently behind me, giving Gob a glance in the process.

"What's up? Is she gonna be alright?"

"I need you to watch over Dezbe for me. Until I return."

"What? Charon, return from where?"

Sighing, I light a cigarette. This morning has not gone as planned.

"Cain and Dizzy snuck out last night. I do not know where they went. I must find them, send them home, and reach The Pitt before Dez's condition worsens beyond repair. I cannot leave her alone. I trust no one here, except you."

"Whoa, whoa slow it down, Charon. What do you mean the kids left? I know Dez is sick and all but…could you elaborate?"

Gob's questioning tries my patience, and my time.

"I woke this morning, to say goodbye to the kids. I was planning on leaving them here to care for Dez until my return. But in the night, they snuck out and vanished. Where, I do not know, but I know I must find them."

Gob listens to me. To my surprise, he chuckles and lights his own cigarette.

"What do you find so funny?"

I question him, wanting to know where the humor lies in all of this.

"Charon, the kids ran off to The Pitt."

"How do you know this?"

"Where else would they go? They heard us talking last night. I'm sure it's where they went. Hell, they're smarter than you think."

"Gob, I still do not understand."

He turns to face me, and our eyes meet.

"Charon, those kids know they can't care for Dez. If she does have Trog, and you've explained it to them, then they know they're unable to handle it. You, on the other hand, know Dez in a different way. You are her lover, they are her children. You understand how to handle her. They probably figured it was easier for them to take off, and you to stay here. But they also knew, that you wouldn't listen if they tried to argue this."

A sadness washes over me. Knowing, my children feared speaking to me. Knowing, that I wouldn't listen. But still it does nothing to change my mind.

"It doesn't matter, Gob. They are my children, and they are alone out there. It is not as if they are staying in the Capital Wasteland. They're heading to a place they don't know."

"And they don't know the Capital Wasteland, either."

I toss him an evil glare, as time begins to slip by. I cannot risk any more of it.

"Gob, you must watch her for me."

"Charon, stop for a minute. Dez is sick, and she needs you. Your kids…Cain and Dizzy, they were going to go off on their own anyways. At least now, they have a direction."

"And if something happens?"

"It's a chance you have to take."

"They're my _children_."

Gob swallows hard, and thinks over his thoughts, before thinking them.

"And you have to let them go."

"I was planning on that. But now…Gob you do not understand. I cannot lose both my children, and Dezbe. At least, if I went, there would be a chance. I am positive I would return with the cure in time. Cain and Dizzy…they have no idea."

"Have faith, Charon. I know, that it's hard to let children go. Especially in this world. But it's something you have to do. Trust that they'll be safe, and they'll return safe."

"I know my children, Gob. If they don't return together, they won't return at all. Cain would die before letting harm fall upon Dizzy, and in turn…"

"…In turn Dizzy would die, knowing Cain is dead."

"Yes."

The silence that follows allows the thought to solidify in my mind. I imagine my son, dead and bleeding. I imagine my daughter crying out, for someone to help her, someone to save her. And no one will come. Because this world isn't kind. It isn't kind, like Megaton is. People passing by would only take advantage of her. They would hurt her, and she would be hurting enough to let them. I would not be there, to protect my daughter, my children, as I have their entire lives. The thought of all this, enrages me.

"They need this, Charon. They'll be back, and on time at that."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because they are you. Cain is your genetics, as is Dizzy. I know, that Dizzy isn't as stupid as she pretends to be. She's smart, witty, tactical. Her mother may run blindly into things but Dizzy…Dizzy is a bit more manipulative than that. Like a bomb. She waits before she blows up. That is something she inherits from you."

"And what are you basing this on?"

"Paternal instinct. Faith in the offspring of the saviors of the Capital Wasteland. No one, aside from a Raider, would dare touch the daughter of Charon and Dezbe. Not only because their son would defend her, but also because you're just as respected, as you are feared, Charon."

"And what makes you think they need this?"

"They need to find themselves. Just as you and Dezbe, found yourselves."

Gob is right, although I hate to admit it. Tossing my cigarette to the ground, I stomp it out with my boot. It's early morning, and the sun has yet to rise fully above the horizon. He holds valid points. I can care for Dezbe better than Cain and Dizzy combined. And they do need to venture off and find themselves. Yet, time runs short. It is not as if they can enjoy themselves out there. Their mother's life is at stake, along with their own. Neither Dez nor I have ventured back to The Pitt since settling down here in Megaton. We do not know how much it has changed for the better, or the worse.

"You're right, Gob. Dez will get worse in time, but if they're not back soon enough, and she gets sicker, you will need to watch her. I will then have to save, both my children, and my wife."

"And really, Charon, there's no better man for the job. You did save the world, after all."


	30. Chapter 30

(Cain)

Dizzy and I somehow got out. I thought my dad would have woken, and caught us, but he didn't. We're a few hours into our trip, and didn't really stop to sleep. We wanted to get as far away from Megaton as we could, heading North according to my map, in as little time as possible. That way if dad followed, we'd have a bigger head start than he thought.

"Man, this is really tiring."

Neither Dizzy nor I have ever walked so far. In reality, the Citadel Ruins aren't very far from Megaton. This trip is further than that, plus we're on a time schedule, and on top of that, we're heading to a place neither one of us has been. It has all the makings of a great adventure.

"Yeah, this isn't going to be an easy stroll in Megaton."

"But at least we're together, right?"

Dizzy says to me, moving closer. Out here, we're alone and nobody knows us. The only thing holding me back from wanting to do all that I want, is my own mental blocks. I think, though, they're there for a reason.

"Yeah, I guess you're right on that one."

I tell her, putting space between us. Dizzy…Dizzy doesn't yet understand, that no matter what, I will always have to be her big brother. I can't be her lover, her confident. All I can be, is who I've been to her our entire life. I know…that she wants more. She wants it, as badly as I do. But despite our wants, we're still related in a way. We still have genetic makeup that matches. Although…it's not much, but, it's just enough to keep us apart.

"Say, Cain?"

"Hm?"

My feet are tired, and my mind is even more exhausted. But, the further we move without resting, the lesser chance we have of dad finding us. And then probably skinning us alive.

"You think…we'll be able to do it? You know, get mom the cure?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't we? I mean, we're the offspring of the two greatest people who ever walked the Capital Wasteland. It's in our genetics."

I make it a point to remind her of our relations. But a subtle reminder.

"No, Cain. _I'm_ the offspring of the two greatest people who've ever walked the Capital Wasteland. You're just a clone."

"Rub it in why don't you."

"Does it feel different? You know, being a clone?"

I shrug, and wiggle my fingers. My rifle is strapped to my back, and Dizzy's gun to her waist. We're not all that prepared, or even paying attention. I'm hoping this trip doesn't take as long as I predict. Or else, we very well may be screwed.

"I don't know. I mean, how am I supposed to feel? I feel like a normal person, if that's what you're asking. However a normal person is supposed to feel…"

"I thought it like, felt different I guess."

"Emotionally, I thought it would feel different. You love mom and dad, right?"

"Dizzy of course I do. Just because I didn't come from mom, doesn't mean I don't love her like my mother. She saved me."

"How'd you take that, anyways? You know, being saved and all."

No one's ever really asked me that. So, really, I've never gave it much thought. Thinking back to that time though, it makes a lump in my stomach. A pitfall kind of feeling. I grab the front of my shirt, to try and ease the memories.

"I was scared. One day, I wake up and I'm in the same place I had always been. Then, as the day goes on, alarms go off. People shove us kids into our room. They lock the doors, and we waited. It wasn't soundproof. We heard the screams, the gunshots, the explosions, all of it. All of us were scared. Some of us had just moved into that room, so they didn't know what to expect. Others thought it was another test. Then mom opens the door, and then all the kids point to me. I remember, thinking she looked so scary. But then I saw her eyes, and I…honestly I never wanted her to go. When she took my hand, and put me on her back…I felt safe. She was warm, and sweaty. When I saw dad I was mortified, but I didn't say anything. Then they took me out, and asked if I wanted to live with them. I agreed, because…I felt…safe. Scared, but safe, with mom and dad."

"Did they name you?"

"Yeah, dad did. He said it meant 'son of the fighter'. He called me his own, even still after you were born. I was his son, and he was my father. Dad…dad never made me feel like I didn't belong."

"What about when you got older? Didn't you ever ask dad about…you know, being part of the family?"

"I did. Once I had gotten in trouble. I did something stupid, and you were just a baby back then. Dad and mom grounded me, but, I got scared. So I cried. When dad came in my room later, and I was still crying, he asked why. I told him I was scared they were going to send me back. And that I'd lose all the great things they had given me. Then, dad said, he'd die, before letting anyone take me back there. That I was his son, and there was nothing I could ever do about it, like it or not."

"From what little I know about dad, his life started out really rough. But, you know, he's a great dad."

"He is, Dizzy. You don't even know the half of it."

We pass a small abandoned shack to our right. I can tell Dizzy wants to go explore it, but her fatigue prevents that. We should find a place to rest, and sleep, soon. I know that we'll be far enough away from dad's reach to do that soon, so I begin to scan the area.

"What do you mean?"

Dizzy asks me, and up ahead I see an abandoned building. It has a second floor, even though it's half-exposed. It'll be good hiding, from the dangers this land has. There's few of those dangers, but, I don't want to take the chance of being caught off guard.

"Dad would die, before letting anything happen to us. And of course, mom. His family comes first, and he holds us in high regard. Most fathers or mothers will leave their children out here. I'm not sure why, but it happens. Erin's mother used to leave her alone in Megaton all the time. But mom and dad…they wouldn't dare think of that. Sure they go out, but they come home. They love us. And dad, as emotionless as he seems, has a lot of love. Especially for you."

"Me? No way. Dad took you out to shoot. He never did that to me."

"He was teaching me how to protect you. He always talked about you, still does, and worried. You, really, are his only child."

"But you're his clone. So, there's another part of him around."

"No. Not in the same sense. He created you. People, scientists, created me."

We come to the broken home, or building, whatever it was. It doesn't look like a place of business, and it's too oddly shaped to be a house. It looks like it might have been some form of place of worship. Dizzy looks around, with newfound curiosity, as I lead her towards the old, wooden and broken stairs that will take us up to safety.

"Come on, Diz, we have to get up here."

"It's early, though."

"Doesn't matter, we've walked a lot in such a short time. Our bodies are useless if we're exhausted, no matter how much ammo we have."

At first she seems nervous, and looks around the Capital Wasteland. There's no real standing walls here. There's one, which is the main support. I know this place could collapse, but, if it did, there isn't enough to it to kill us. Maybe give us a few uncomfortable bruises, but not kill. There's no one around us, as I join in her scanning. No people, wanderers, or threats. The regrowth that Megaton gives to the land, with help from the G.E.C.K hasn't spread this far into the Wastes. It won't in my lifetime, either. It hardly goes beyond two miles of Megaton, and even then, all there is, is soil instead of the hard sediment we're walking on now.

It's change, nonetheless. Dad use to tell me stories of pre-war, and how he and mom hope to live to see the world just as green as it was back then. I have no doubt they'll live to see that. As old as dad is, he's strong. Ghouls his age die out quicker with each day, just due to their age, and whatnot. But dad is different. He has mom and Dizzy to continue to take care of and worry about. Plus, Dr. Barrows gives him special pills. He doesn't know that I know about them, but I do. Dr. Barrows told me, they helped with his aging. Slowed down the process by more than half, so long as he took them every day. I know he does, too, because dad has too much to live for these days. Death, takes a backseat on dad's list of things to do.

Getting to the top of the stairs, I see on the second floor there's a sleeping mat near the wall that we'll be resting against. It provides cover from the sun, as well as enemies. Unless they're looking, they won't see us up here.

"Wonder how mom got use to sleeping in such strange places?"

Dizzy ponders, walking over to the sleeping mat and sitting down. She takes her gun off of her hip, and yawns loudly.

"Do something enough, and you get use to it."

"Yeah I suppose. Hey, you know what?"

"What?"

"I think we make a good team. If dad trained you to protect me, then I have nothing to worry about."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I know you. You'll die before anything happens to me. Just like dad."

"Sure would. Dad would kill me if I didn't."

I sit down beside her, as I take my gun from my back. I didn't realize just how sore my legs were, until I stopped walking.

"Man, walking this much is painful."

I tell Dizzy as she puts her arms behind her head, laying down. She stares up at the sky.

"You said mom found you?"

Dizzy asks, and I look down at her. She's obviously exhausted, but doesn't want to sleep.

"Yeah, mom found me. I don't know why her and dad were there, but, they were. They said something about closure, a long time ago. Since then I never really asked about it."

"When I was born, were you happy?"

"What? Of course I was, Dizzy. I was very excited back then. I had a new home, parents, a great life. Dad and mom did all they could to make sure I didn't feel outcasted when you were born. In fact, when Gob took me in to see you a few hours after you arrived, mom said 'Cain, this is your child as well as ours. You must keep her safe. Protect her.' And I have."

Dizzy stares at me for a long while, strong, and silent. She seems like she's thinking things over, what those things are, I'm not sure of. It seems like an eternity passes, before she says anything.

"I'm happy, when you're with me."

I say nothing to her, as she sits up and leans against me. Her head rests against my shoulder, as her arms wrap me in a warm hug. Quietly, for the moment, I close my eyes and keep silent. I'm happy, too, when she is with me.  
"Cain?"

Turning my head to look at her, our matching blue eyes meet. Her lips are round, and plump like our mother's. She has this lost look of innocence on her face. Suddenly, I don't feel too worried, about boundaries and circumstances.

"Out here, nobody…nobody knows us and…and I think…we should take advantage of that."

"Dizzy…what're you getting at?"

Dizzy picks her head up, still watching me. I follow her movements, as she goes from sitting beside me, to on top of me. Straddling me with her thighs. Red flags, warnings, they go up in my mind and flash at me. But, I can't shake her point. Her objective thinking, in knowing that out here we can be anybody we want. That out here, is the definition of pure freedom.

"It's alright, as long…as long as we're out here."

I can't describe what happens next. I can't fully express it to you. My mind seems to block everything out. The possibility of threats, the time of day it is, where we are, everything. In fact, the only thing I can truly focus on, is Dizzy. Her scent invades me, and her touch warms me. I feel something wake inside of me, that I've never felt before. It's strong, undeniably so, and powerful. As her lips meet mine, and I don't pull away, that feeling only grows. With each second, it gains power. With each touch, taste, kiss, it intensifies. I know it isn't lust, or love, because I feel both of those already. No, what I'm feeling now, is deeper than that. Stronger. A dependency on Dizzy. It makes my heart race, to where I feel it whirring, instead of beating.

"We…shouldn't…"

I try to tell her, from somewhere in the recesses of my mind. But she doesn't hear me, and I realize that I never said it aloud. That I only thought it. In the midst of it all, I've forgotten how to speak. I've moved Dizzy to the wooden floor, and positioned myself on top of her. There's so many things wrong with this. So many things, that I'll regret and fear when it's over. Everything, everything goes against this. And yet, all at once, none of that seems to matter. This emotion, feeling, call it what you will, it grows inside of me. It will prevent me from tearing her clothes off, but keep me from ever letting any harm come to her. This…sensation is…blinding.


	31. Chapter 31

(Charon)

My children have been gone from me for days. Dezbe gets weaker and weaker, with each passing hour. Her hair, has begun to fall out. At first, it was small strands here and there. Now, I cannot smooth her head, without pulling a fistful of hair out. When she woke, after the children had vanished, I moved her upstairs. To where I know she is safe, and cannot escape. There are moments and times, where Dezbe forgets who she is. Who I am, even, and goes into a blind rage. I had to cover our window, so she could not break loose. At night, when the rages happen, I hear her pounding against the door over and over again. It kills me, to listen to it. Kills me more, to speak with her after the rage has passed. Listen to her helpless pleas of wanting me to end her life, watching her tears flow and fall to the ground. I try to tell her it'll be alright, that a cure will be brought here soon, but, my words fall upon death ears. Ears, that are becoming pointed. I do not know, if Dizzy and Cain are safe. If they are even alive. All I know, is that I am at a high risk, of losing everyone I have ever cared for.

Had it been me who had travelled to The Pitt, I would have been back by now. Perhaps that is because I would have been faster, knowing the way and terrain. Dizzy and Cain do not know any of that, and blindly ran off. I have hardly ever been scared in my life, and yet, I find myself crippled with fear.

Dez's cries of sorrow echo down from the upstairs. I want to comfort her, but I cannot handle seeing her. I cannot make it alright for her. I cannot fix it. Inside, it rips and tears me apart. She cries and wails, like a wounded and dying animal. The citizens must hear her, in the dead of night. No one comes to the house, and I have not left. There are times, though, of clarity for her. Though they are short, they are there. She knows, help is coming, in some part of her mind. It is just…most of the time, that part of her mind is silent, and restrained by the madness eating away at her. Dez once told me, when she killed the Trog denizens, they whispered a 'thank you' to her. A 'thank you' for putting them out of their misery. If it comes down to it, will she also thank me?

Shaking my head, I light a cigarette to try and clear my mind of such things. I have to remain strong, and confident in my children. They are mine, I raised them, loved them, taught them and learned from them. There is no reason for their failure, and yet I worry still. Worry, simply because it is what parents do. No matter how grown your children are, you always worry. Exhaling smoke, I hear that Dez grows silent. Tired from her antics, she must be resting. I wish, this was all just a nightmare. A terrifying dream. It is not. And I am reminded of that every time I make a move, or exhale smoke.

When there is a knock on my front door, I make a slight jump. Unsure, if it was a knock or Dez, I listen again.

"Charon open up! It's Barrows!"

Barrows? He should have no business coming here. Unless…unless perhaps he has found a cure? No, no Barrows would know nothing of Trog, let alone know that Dez is affected by it. It is a contained disease of The Pitt. Even the residents of Megaton do not know what ails Dezbe. Still, I rise from my feet, curious as to what brings him here. For the moment, Dez is silent.

"What is it?"

I ask him, opening my front door. He stands, exhausted, which is unusual for him. In his hands, old, yellow papers mixed in with new ones. He is short of breath, and seems rushed. Pushing his way inside, Barrows throws the papers onto the kitchen table, as I close the door behind him.

"What's the meaning of this? It's not a good time, Barrows."

I growl at him, holding my cigarette in my teeth.

"Charon, I don't care. Where is Cain? More importantly, Dizzy?"

I'm confused by his question, but answer it anyways.

"They went to find a cure. Dezbe is sick. They're travelling to The Pitt together."

"They're not separated?"

"No, not to my knowledge. Why? What is the purpose of this? What are these papers?"

His inquiries about my children worry me. Since when is it an important detail, if Cain and Dizzy are alone or together? His body language tells me all is not well, as he shuffles through the papers.

"Look, I'm one of the few people who know where Cain comes from."

"I am aware of that, but you have yet to answer my questions."

"I'm getting there, Charon, listen. Anyways. Graves and I heard you liquidated the facility he was created in. Curiosity took over us, and thank heavens it did. We went there, and gathered as much research on Cain's creation as we could. Wanting to study and know more about it. Anyways, here."

He hands me a yellowed piece of paper, one from ages ago. The writing is old, faded, yet I can still read some parts of it.

"What does this mean, Barrows? You are not making sense."

"…Cain was meant to be exactly like you, Charon."

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Only, _different_."

"Again, I know this."

"Yet…Cain was not meant to be the last of his kind."

Barrows sits, and lights a cigarette. I sit across from him, placing the paper down and continuing to smoke mine.

"What are you getting at? Answer me."

"Cain was designed, to be better than the best. Your perfect abilities, with none of the trouble."

"I do not follow."  
"You were contract bound, and brainwashed. The creators wanted to eliminate the contract part altogether. In Cain, they did that."

"Excuse me?"

"They wanted mercenaries, but not like you. You were easily passed on from employer to employer. Cain, however, and those who they wanted to come after him, would not be so expendable. They wanted to create one solider, mercenary, for one person. A bonding, lasting pair."

"And how is this achieved? One cannot fully bind a person to another without emotion or loyalty. In my case, contract."

"But they can. And they did. Cain is a machine, made to mimic a man. He is a man, due to his organic tissue, but a machine created him. His cells, his organs, all created by a complex system of coding, it's all right here."

"I do not understand…"

There is a dangerous tone in my voice, as I try to follow Dr. Barrows' words.

"Inside of Cain's very cells, is a failsafe. The creators planned to train Cain and others just as you were. However, they planned to introduce their future and permanent employers during the training. A form of…mechanically emotional bonding, if you will. Cain, and is successors, would be forever bound to that individual. If that individual died, as would the mercenary. It's all here, again, in these papers. Are you following?"

"Slightly. But I do not understand how one can be bonded that way."

"Charon, it's biology, really. Similar to how women in the same home will eventually begin to menstruate on time. Cain is sensitive to the chemicals within the person who he is meant to protect. To be employed by. Without having a person, Cain would simply cease to exist. Without the chemicals, pheromones, and other secretions of another human, Cain's very life would cease to exist, as he can only function if with other people."

"You're telling me, that my son is bound to us by chemicals?"

"No, Charon, not you. Not you or Dezbe, but Dizzy."

"Dizzy?"

"Yes. Precisely. Cain held Dizzy from a young age, a rare thing. He is simply a prototype, but because of that he was an exception. The chemical bonding began too soon in his own body. Had he not cared for Dizzy as they grew together, and adapted to her change in hormones and body, he would have bonded with you or Dezbe. They planned to eliminate this with later creations, yet you took Cain before they could even remove it from him. Cain has been with Dizzy far too long. If he is parted from her, for more than a few days, perhaps pushing it weeks, he can die."

"How? I still do not comprehend all of this, Barrows."  
"Because he is dependant on Dizzy's chemicals. Her serotonin, her pheromones, her adrenaline. Each one fuels his own, keeps his heart beating. I know they're close, Charon, but…have they had any…sexual relation?"

I purse my lips at the suggestion. I know, there is a noticeable and strong bond between them. With Barrows' findings, I seem to understand a bit better, as to why they were so close. It was not because Cain wanted to consciously, but because he had to be subconsciously. If perhaps that makes any sense. Dezbe and I admitted, due to circumstances, we would be okay with them having relations. It seems, looking back now, Cain and Dizzy were always calmer when the other was closer.

"I do not know. Perhaps. There is much I am unsure of about those two."

"If they did, or even kissed as you and Dezbe kiss, then Cain can never, _never_, be parted from Dizzy."

"Why?"

"That is a physical swapping of chemicals. His mixed with hers. Cain would have died quietly, in his sleep with no pain, if Dizzy left and they did not kiss. However, if they did in fact do any of the acts, Cain has sealed his fate. Parting from her for too long will cause agony, pain, a torturous death. Because, not only is there a chemical involvement, but an emotional one."

"…I don't wish to believe a word of this. Yet, thinking back, I see instances where your theory can be viable."

"It is not a _theory_, it is written down here!"

He angrily motions towards the papers on the table, as we poke out our cigarettes.

"I came here, to tell you if anything happens to Dizzy, the same fate will happen to Cain. That if they part, Cain will die, in a painful way. You are a good friend of mine, Charon, and I could not live with myself without informing you of this."

"Cain was meant to be better than me, and more advanced than anything the facility had to offer. I do not have a hard time believing this, it is rather…I see him as my son, Barrows. Hearing, that my son is a machine, and has no choice in his fate or future, angers me."

"I know what you're going to ask next. There is nothing you can do to stop it. Cain will exist alongside Dizzy, for however long she lives for. He will not age, he will not grow weak. His cells will constantly regenerate, rebuild. He was created, to live and die alongside his employer. A person, he was chemically bonded to. When Dizzy's time comes, be it natural or not, he will die, too. And if they had any form of physical relation, his death will not be peaceful."

There is a strong silence. Barrows says nothing, and I say nothing, as I digest all of this information. My son, my only son…is in a danger I cannot protect or save him from. I understand, he and Dizzy are very close. But Dizzy is fickle, and both are unaware of this. A fight could ensue, she could take off. He could lose her. And in turn, he could die. There is no way for me to tell this to them. No way, for me to notify them and make sure they stay close. I do not even know, if they are still together.


	32. Chapter 32

(Cain)

We made it. I don't know how, but we did. We're finally here, The Pitt. After all that walking, all that fun, we've finally reached where we need to be, for mom. But, I say fun, because…after the night we spent in the abandoned building together, Dizzy and I have become…inseparable. As if…as if I need her around me. A few times on our way here, she wandered too far off. I felt a worry and a fear that I'd never felt before. Usually I'd just holler, and she'd come. This time, though, I got scared. Terrified. When I found her just a few hundred yards away, it was like someone poured water on my overheating body. The relief I felt was immense. Although, we didn't sleep together, we did go fairly far. We did test the waters, boundaries, and limitations of one another. I'm not sure even today, what stopped us from completing the act. Only that we did stop, and we fell asleep, half-naked, beside one another.

Since that night, Dizzy has changed, too. She became calmer, more subdued. Not in a bad way, but rather an improvement. As if finally, she was able to feel calm. I'm not sure yet, how I feel on the matter. All I know, is that I feel an unyielding sense of protection and care for her. One that was not there beforehand.

"It stinks here."

Dizzy says, as we finish crossing the large bridge over into The Pitt. The trolly ride here, whatever you may call that thing, was frightening. In a dark tunnel with no light, we were unsure of our direction. Luckily, it was a straight line, and the end of the tunnel wasn't too far off.

"Yeah, we have to hurry. We've wasted enough time."

"I know, but it still stinks here."

Her hand grazes mine, and I smell the air. She's right. There's a sulfuric, pungent smell that invades your nostrils and makes your eyes water. What it's from I don't much know, or care to know. I just want to find the cure, and get the hell out of here. I want to get back to mom and dad, and make sure everything is okay.

"You think mom is okay? I mean, do you think we wasted too much time?"

Dizzy asks me, as we step into The Pitt. Everyone stares at us, but not in a rude way. With the smell here, and the heat, you'd think people would look meaner. But no. Everyone here looks calm, cool, nice, and friendly. They look at us, knowing we're outsiders, but also not chasing us away because of that.

"I dunno, keep close."

I don't mean to pass Dizzy's question off so quickly, but I'm not use to people opening their doors for others. Putting my arm around Dizzy, I make sure she's close, and can't be snatched up or run away. For the most part, once people get a good look at us, they go back to what they were doing. I don't know where to begin here, where to find a cure. Before I can ask anyone what it is I'm looking for exactly, someone comes up to me.

"Can I help you?"

She's about my age. Tan skin, dark skin. She has deep brown eyes, and looks from me to Dizzy. I tower over her, and I make sure to look as intimidating as possible.

"My mother is sick. There's a cure here for it. It's called Trog, and we need it, quickly."

"Impossible. The only way Trog is still around, is if it left The Pitt. No one has come in or out of here in decades."

I narrow my eyes at her. She's haughty. I keep my arm around Dizzy.

"She came here decades ago. She contracted the disease. It's laid dormant until recently. I need to find a cure, and get home, quickly."

The girl in front of me purses her lips at me. She bites them, and begins to get nervous. Dizzy stands closer to me, a bit shaken up, a bit worried.

"You need to see my father."

Her tone is serious, and Dizzy and I share a quick glance at one another. We have nothing to lose, we're armed, and this isn't our territory. The best thing we can do is listen to her, and if all else fails, shoot up the place, and run as fast as we can back to Megaton.

"Alright."

I tell her, and she leads the way. All around us, people stare for a quick moment. They take in our different clothes, the way we look, and go back to their own business. The air is thick with smoke, and the people have sweat and grime covering them. In some areas, the ground is hard and unmoving, whilst others you have to watch your step. Dizzy slipped once already, but I have a strong hold on her. For some reason, and I feel guilty for it, my mother isn't the first thing on my mind. It's instead, Dizzy. To make sure no harm comes to her. I'm not sure what made this change. When this whole thing began with us sneaking out here, it was all about mom, and helping mom. It still is, too, but right now Dizzy seems to be the more important woman. I eye each and every man who stares too long, challenging them to come forth and try to take her. Try, to pry her from beneath my arm and take her away. They don't stand a chance. People here are shorter than me, as they are most places. Some, even shorter than Dizzy. It seems the chemicals I can smell might have an effect on that. I'm not sure.

The girl leads us to a tall, imposing and if not intimidating building. Dizzy and I look up at it, shocked and in awe. It rivals that of Tenpenny Tower, and around it a moat of red. Almost like it doesn't want anyone getting in, or out.

"I know it looks scary. The Pitt always does to outsiders. But we're nice here, and we mean no one any harm. The building is a home for some of the families here. My father, and myself, included.

How this and Tenpenny Tower withstood the Great War, I have no idea. My father told me of it. Of the fires that reached to the clouds. Of the smoke, radiation, the terror of it all. Very few things are left from that war. And I'm still amazed things even still exist, let alone stand. We enter the building, and in a soft silence the girl calls for an elevator. I only know what it's called, because I've been to Tenpenny Tower before once or twice in my life.

"…We don't get outsiders often. Usually they're dying, and find their way here by mistake. They die here. There was only one person who came in, and left, aside from my father. It was…when I was just a baby, though. Twenty years, maybe more. I was a newborn."

She falls silent, and I look down at Dizzy.

"It was mom."

Dizzy tells me, even though I already know the answer. It was mom, and I nod my head.

"She's right. It was mom."

The girl's eyes widen.

"It was _your_ mother? Do you have any idea, what she did here?"

"I hope it's nothing bad, but no, I mean…not a lot."

The elevator doors open. At first the girl is too shocked to step in, but eventually she gets herself together. Dizzy and I follow her through, and it's the only time I let my arm fall from her shoulders. Everything seems to relax a bit more, without everyone watching.

"Your mom…she did a great thing for the people here. She's…she's sort of like a local hero. But my dad, my dad should tell you."

"We can't stay. We came to only get the cure, and that's it."

"…My dad has scouts out. I'm not sure why, but they're out of The Pitt. Maybe some are nearby your mother?"

"We're from the Capital Wasteland."

"I don't know where he sent them to…"

The elevator stops moving, and the doors open. We're at an empty floor, and I don't feel the need to keep Dizzy as close. We're almost alone here, and there's no visible threats. Still, I'm prepared for threats, even if I can't see them.

"My dad should be in his office, come on."

Dizzy pulls on my jacket sleeve as we start walking. I look down at her, but she doesn't say anything. She just looks up at me, with worry in her eyes. Reaching behind, I find her hand, and give her a reassuring squeeze.

"Dad?"

The girl calls, before stopping at a door and opening it. Dizzy and I follow her through as she steps in. An old man, with long, graying hair sits in front of an old radio. My parents have one, but I've never seen them use it. He wears old clothes, and an eye patch.

"Maria, what brings you here? And who are they?"

He says, as his eyes fall upon Dizzy and I. Dizzy stands close to my left side. I guess the girl's name is Maria.

"They're from the Capital Wasteland, dad. They came here looking for a cure."

"A cure?"

"My mother is sick with Trog."

The man stands, he's shorter than me. He comes over and looks me in the eyes.

"You look…familiar…have we ever met?"

I shake my head, as I feel Dizzy's hand cling to my wrist.

"No. We haven't. But my mother, Dezbe, you might know her."

Realization, shock, crosses his face.

"Your mother, her name is Dezbe?"

"Yeah."

"She…yes, I know her well. She came here. She did…great things. You say she's sick with Trog? But how? It was…decades ago…"

"I don't know. But she is. We need to find a cure, and dad said it was here."

"Sit, please."

"I'm afraid we can't. We have to find it, and hurry."

"Where is your mother located?"

"Megaton, a city in the Capital Wasteland."

The man goes over to his radio. He picks up a microphone, and starts to speak into it.

"Report, all scouts. Respond, closes scout to Megaton in the Capital Wasteland."

My dad told me about this. Radio waves. It's how the music plays through my mom's Pip-Boy. I didn't know people used it for communication, though, too. There's silence for a bit, before a voice starts to crackle on the other side.

"That'd be me, buddy. I'm starin' at the structure right now, it's massive."

The man picks up the microphone again, and speaks.

"There is a woman in that town by the name of Dezbe. She needs the cure you're carrying. Bring it to her this instant, and have her speak with me over the transmitter as soon as she can."

"My father. My father won't let him in, he has to explain who he is. And it'll be my father who talks to you."

The man nods, as he puts the microphone down. Dizzy and I, take a seat. Inside I'm happy, overjoyed and full of relief. Mom is going to be okay, and my god this is a stroke of luck. I can't help but laugh aloud a bit.

"My name is Wernher. Your father…he…is a large man, isn't he?"

"Do you know him?"

Wernher shakes his head. Dizzy is quiet, and I think a bit scared of this place. Maria, the girl, seems to have gone off in another room.

"There was a man with your mother when I first met her. He couldn't come back to The Pitt with us, because your mother had to be undercover. It would have thrown off everything, and ended horribly. It looked like he was horribly burned, but I couldn't tell. It was night. They seemed…very close."

"That's my father. Charon. He's a ghoul."

"You have his eyes. His height. His presence. Everything about you, reminds me of him. To be honest, I was scared of him."

"Why?"

"Because…if anything happened to your mother when she was here. Had she died…I feared him coming back for my head. He seemed…so protective of her. Like…you're protective of her."

Wernher motions to Dizzy, as she clings to my arm. Not out of fear, anymore, but I think instead out of sleepiness. She won't ever admit it, but she misses home. As much as she wanted adventure and action, to live like mom and dad did, she's not made for it. She's brave, and strong, and when push comes to shove, fight back. But the stamina it takes to make it out here, she doesn't quite have. Maybe it's just the new feeling of it all, though. I could be wrong, and Dizzy could just get use to it all, and maybe do everything mom did and more.

"Did my father…did he ever come back here?"

Wernher smokes his cigarette, and leans back in his chair.

"No, actually. Your father, I never saw him again. But your mother came back here. Something had happened. An enemy of hers had taken your father away. How, the details are foggy. She was sad, for a time, but then…it seemed like she had a mission. As if she knew what she had to do. She left, as quickly as she came, but the people have always remembered her."  
"What did mom do?"

Dizzy asks, as she fishes for cigarettes in my coat pocket. Wernher smiles at Dizzy. A warm smile.

"You know, little lady, you look so much like your mother. But, there's something else to ya, too. A power, resilience, that your mother didn't have. Perhaps you get that from your father?"

A resilience? Dizzy? I look at her again, and you know, maybe he's right. Dizzy hasn't been out here long, she's more or less been in Megaton her entire life. But for the few days we've been travelling, there is something different about her. Her skin is darker, more tanned. Her eyes shimmer, because she's covered in dust and dirt. Her armor doesn't do much, to protect against that. Her features are slightly hardened, although neither one of us has found any danger. Maybe it's the anticipation of danger, that makes everyone grow hard out here. Paranoid, will keen eyesight, and better hearing. It makes me wonder…did I change at all?

"Dizzy. My name is Dizzy. And this is Cain."

I forgot to introduce myself. Getting caught up in the story, in finding the cure, I guess names just slipped my mind.

"Pleasure to meet the both of you. It makes my heart warm, to know Dezbe is alive, and has raised outstanding children. Has age been good to her?"

It hits me. Everyone mom and dad encountered so many years ago, is aging or dying. They don't look as youthful as mom and dad do. They're going to die, and they're going to age. I wonder if mom and dad ever thought about it? If they ever sit with Gob and Graves and Barrows, and feel a bit sad that all the people they've met won't be able to see time like they do. It must…it must be incredibly lonely…

"Actually my mom's immune to radiation. Like my dad. They don't age, so she looks just like she did when you met her, I think. I mean, she doesn't look aged. Cain?"

I nod my head in agreement with Dizzy.

"My mother and father are kept young by radiation. This gene was also passed down to Dizzy. Unfortunately for her, she's stuck looking like this for a few hundred years…"

Wernher sits up, attentive and shocked. I haven't seen any ghouls out here in The Pitt, so I'm guessing they've never seen one. Let alone heard of them, or their longevity.

"A couple _hundred_? How old are your parents?"

"My mother, she's I think in her fifties. We don't really celebrate birthdays. But my father is over three-hundred years old. He…he's a pre-war ghoul."

"Pre-war? And in…he was around to see…"

"To see the bombs fall, yes."

Wernher takes a moment to soak it in. He looks around at all his worldly possessions in his room. Dizzy and I shift uncomfortably, as I put my cigarette out, and she lights her.

"…You know, when I saw him, Charon, your father…I knew…he was different. He…has this way about him. Very…mysterious. And although I feared him, I admired him."

"What did mom do here? You never told us."

I elbow Dizzy a bit, to prevent her from being rude. Before Wernher can answer her question, the radio behind Wernher crackles to life. The voice on the other end…it's my father's.

"Hello? Hello? Does this damn thing work?"

Before Wernher can reach over and grab the microphone, Dizzy rockets out of her seat and dives for it. She holds the button down, and starts talking, as tears well into her eyes.

"Dad! Daddy! Daddy!"

"Dizzy? Is that you? Oh thank Atom you're alright. Do you know what you've done? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? I almost went out myself for you! Dizzy! How foolish can you be!"

Dizzy sobs, sitting on the floor and clutching the microphone. A sudden realization hits me.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry daddy I'm sorry…I'm so, so, sorry…"

She misses him. She misses him more than anything. The change I saw in her, the hardened expression, wasn't in preparation of danger, but in fear of disapproval. How would it feel to her, if our father didn't approve of how she handled things? Her entire childhood was spent on mine and my father's coattails. Following us, wanting to be like us, and having a special and strong father-daughter connection with him. But she's always, always wanted the connection that I have with him. My father, sees me as an equal. While he sees Dizzy, forever, as his child that will always need protecting. Not because she is weak, but because she is a female, and she is his daughter. All this time, Dizzy's simply wanted dad, to tell her he approves of everything. I feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner, but, as I watch her cry and plead with dad, I think maybe, she'll soon accept her role in his life. As forever his daughter, and his love.

"Hush, Dizzy don't cry, it's alright, Dizzy, it's alright."

My father's voice on the other end chokes and tightens. I know he'll blame it on the radio, but truth is, he's on the verge of tears. Dizzy hasn't cried to him, in seven or eight years. She's been so busy trying to prove her adulthood since she was about ten, that…she simply forgot what it was like, to be a daddy's girl. And dad, forgot what it felt like, to be reminded that he will always be the most important man in Dizzy's life, no matter what else happens. Dizzy, will always love dad, more than any person in the world. He is her savior, her protector, her provider, her teacher, and her safety net. I know, to her, I am those things too. But, Dizzy was given to me, by dad. In her eyes, he is the man that brings the sun, the rain, and the moon. If dad, hadn't given Dizzy to me as a child, and directed me to care for her, I never would have. I would have done what other kids do, and forget their younger siblings. Until now, I didn't fully realize, what dad had done for us. For both me, and for Dizzy.

"I miss you so much daddy. I miss you. I miss you come get me I miss you. Please, I want to come home. I'm scared."

I raise my eyebrow but say nothing. Dizzy is either a really convincing liar to me, or to dad. I think, though, Dizzy just didn't want to admit she was scared. But in dad's presence, she turns into a child.

"What's wrong? Dizzy, where is Cain? Are you in The Pitt? Are you alone? Do you need my help I can come right away. Your mother will be fine, Gob can care for her as she recovers. Dizzy, are you hurt? Answer me!"

"No, no daddy. I'm not hurt. I'm okay. It's so big out here. The Pitt is dark, and smoky, and it's scary. It's too big. I…I'm not ready to do what you and mom did. I'm not ready to leave home yet, dad please let me come back."

"Dizzy you are _always_ welcome, and I never left you to begin with. You're in The Pitt? Are you with Wernher? _Where is your brother?_"

"He's right here, daddy. He's kept me safe. But I'm still scared. Cain isn't as tactical as you. He's not as strong, daddy. Come get me, _please_. I want to play teahouse again. I want you to carry me on your shoulders. I want to be a kid, daddy _please come get me…_come…get me…"

I resent that last statement. But Dizzy seems to simply be crying out her fears and worries. Dad listens, as good fathers do. He lets her cry, and tries to calm her with empty words.

"Dizzy, if Cain is with you, then you're safe. You're safe, sweetheart. Listen to me, Dizzy, don't cry. It'll be alright. I know you're scared, I understand, Dizzy. Do not let this get you down. You have a lot of love around you. Stay close to Cain. Are you listening to me?"

"Yes…I just…miss you…"

"And when you and Cain return home, I promise I will pick you up, and make you strong again. But right now honey, you need to be strong on your own. I cannot make it alright right now, but I will, I promise, when you come home."

"Don't make me leave again, daddy."

"I never made you leave in the first place. But Dizzy you've saved your mother. You don't have to go anywhere, if you don't want to. Be strong for me, Dizzy. You are my daughter, I know you can. I know you're hurting, but Dizzy, you are a part of me. There is strength in there. Do not be scared."

"I love you, daddy. I love you."  
"I love you too. Come now, Dizzy. Be strong. Let me speak with your brother."

"Okay…okay he's here, daddy. He's here."

Dizzy hands the microphone to me, as she dries her face. As I reach for it, my father's voice crackles through the speakers once more.

"I am so proud of you, Dizzy. So proud of the both of you."

"Hey dad. It's me."

I say as Dizzy smiles wide, and proud of herself. Dad approves, and I think, that's all Dizzy has ever wanted to hear. Wernher watches us, close, and a soft smile spreads across his face.

"Cain…I am relieved, to hear your voices. I was worried, that your sister and you had gotten separated. That…something had happened. I could not stand losing my entire family this way. The relief it brings me, to know you two are safe, is indescribable."

"Yeah, we're…we're alright, dad. It's been fun out here, but, we're just new to it. And The Pitt isn't much of a welcoming sight. It's different from home. How's mom? You said she would be okay?"

"Yes. Yes, your mother will recover just fine. She was administered the cure. She will be fine by the time you two get home. You are coming back home, right?"

I look over at Dizzy, who nods furiously, still patting her eyes dry.

"We'll come straight home, dad. We'll leave right now if you want."

"Are you in a safe place?"

"We're with Wernher."

"Rest and stay for a couple of days. Come back, when your body is able to. You both must be tired, sore, and hungry. I am so sorry, for making you feel as if you had to do this."

"No, dad, it was my idea. It was mine. I dragged Dizzy along because…I know, you can't be away from mom. I know, dad. And…I just didn't want…mom to be without you."

Dad's silent on the other end for a long while. A family can tell one another they love each other all they want. But rarely in a lifetime, is it proven. I think at this moment, my father is quiet because Dizzy and I proved to him, how much we care for the both of them. He has proved countless times to us, that we are most important in his life. And now, we returned the favor.

"…Your mother and I have been together for decades, and never, has anyone loved us, as much as you two. I am proud, to have you as my son, and Dizzy and my daughter."

"You raised us, dad. You raised us this way, so, it's all on you."

"And believe, I cannot stop smiling, son."

Dizzy comes over to me, and presses her face into my chest. I wrap an arm around her, as water fills my eyes. The love a father or mother has for their children, isn't noticed, until it's needed. When Dizzy and I get scared, although we're adults, we will always pine for our parents. And our parents, will be there for us. I hold Dizzy tight against me, and we both know if our parents can't be there, we'll be there, for one another.

"Cain, for now I have to go and tend to your mother, but you must promise me something. And I will explain it to you when you return, but in the meantime, you must trust me."

"What is it?"

"Do not let Dizzy stray too far. Do not let anything happen to her. I know I have said that a million times before, but it is different this time. Trust me."

"…Alright, dad. I promise. I won't."

Dizzy reaches up and grabs the microphone again.

"I love you daddy! I love you! We'll be home soon!"

"I love you too, get back safely. Don't get into _any_ trouble, or else I'll come looking."

"Dad, you always save the day. I don't think…anyone in their right mind, would mess with your offspring."

"I hope they know that, too, Dizzy. Relax, and eat. Come home soon."

"We will dad. Bye! I love you!"

"I love you too. Both of you."

I set the microphone down, and hold Dizzy. She clings to me, trying to not sob anymore.

"Hey, Diz, it's alright. Mom is safe, and dad is waiting for us."

"I know."

We hold one another for a strong, and silent moment. Wernher smokes and drinks quietly in the background, and I press my cheek against the top of Dizzy's head.

"Your mother…liberated this entire land, and gave the people here, freedom."

He says, causing Dizzy and I to pick our heads up. We part, and stare at him, entranced. Mom told me small summaries of The Pitt, but neither one of us have heard the story in detail. Wernher motions for us to sit, and we do, like curious children.

"I found your mother in the Capital Wasteland. I had escaped, to find help. Back then, this place was run by Ashur, and Raiders. We were slaves, forced into labor. Forced to work towards a greater future of lies, and deceit. My people, died in piles every day. Most turned feral. Some fell victim to Trog. Ashur had the cure all along. He hid it from us."

Wernher pauses, to take a seat himself.

"I had found a way out, and your mother offered her help. Against, at the time, your father's wishes. She left him behind here, in order to help a civilization she knew nothing of. She rose in rank quickly, Ashur and the Raiders alike, paying attention to her every action. Eventually, she was chosen to fight in the Hole, and earn her rank as a Raider. Yet, she was wounded. Wounded horribly. We did not know if she would survive, but somehow, she did."

"The winding scar, on mom's side. You've seen it, Dizzy. She said she got it, here."

Dizzy nods at me, remembering the crater-scar mom still has today.

"She was nearly in half, and somehow, she recovered. She recovered enough to steal the cure from Ashur while the Raiders and citizens fought one another. When she brought it to me, she was still injured, and losing a lot of blood. I had never seen a human so determined to survive. To carry on. Yet there she was. Before she collapsed in front of me, she said you can survive just about anything, if you're stubborn enough. It took almost a month, for her to be able to return home. I suppose, she fought so hard, so she could go home to your father."

"…My mother…liberated people, she didn't even know?"

I ask, curious.

"Yes. She saved this entire city. Because of her, is why we're able to live as we do now. Because of her, there is no more Trog. She…put her own life at risk, for people, who did nothing to deserve her help. And in return, we have always admired and loved her from afar. As her children, I open my home and city to you. You are welcome to stay as long as you please, eat and drink what you will, and have free liberties to come and go as you please."

He is silent, as he remembers what my mother did for him. Really, I had no idea, her actions meant so much to them. Growing up in Megaton, Dizzy and I never heard the stories from anyone else's point of view. Usually, I only heard it from Gob. Or mom and dad. No one else, has really expressed such gratitude. But, hearing it from Wernher, I realize that mom…is more important to people, than I initially thought.


	33. Chapter 33

(Charon)

By nightfall, Dezbe is almost back to normal. She has no memory of the fits or outbursts during her illness, and can only recall the small instances where the disease was not eating away at her mind. We sit in our bedroom, as I brush through her hair. It comes out in clumps still, but her hair is so thick, it makes little difference. Right now, we are trying to simply take off all the loose strands. From the Trog, Dezbe's ears have slightly pointed. It is obvious, but she seems to like the added effect. She also doesn't mind her slightly sharper teeth, either. That, is not as noticeable. It is more her canine teeth. She claims, it makes her feel more different.

"You know, Charon, I don't think I could have asked for anything more."

"What do you mean?"

Dezbe sighs, and lights a cigarette as I bring the brush through her hair once more.

"Look at us. Remember, where we once were. Our children…travelled to The Pitt. They saved my life. They…they're just like…they're all I could've ever hoped for."

I stop, and look at the back of her head. Letting the brush fall, I wrap my arms around her waist. When it is only Dezbe and I, there is nothing we cannot do. Now, I feel when it is the four of us, together again as a family, impossible is nothing. Her hands rest atop mine, as I hold her close.

"I want them to be together."

I tell her, feeling her head turn towards me. I loosen my grip on her waist. I have yet, to tell her about Cain. To tell her of the danger he is unknowingly in.

"Who, Charon?"

"Cain, and Dizzy."

Dezbe stands up, looking at me as if I have finally lost my entire mind.

"Be together? As in…yeah. We talked about this."

"Dez there is more at stake, than I have let on. While you were sick…Barrows discovered something about Cain…and it puts him in danger."

Dezbe listens intently, while I talk and tell her of Barrows' proven theory. The papers he brought still lie on the downstairs table in the kitchen. Waiting to be read over. Waiting, for Cain to return. Water forms and molds into tears, that stream down Dezbe's face, as I finish telling her. I am not sure, how I feel towards it. Not towards the romance, but to…Cain. How…must it feel like, to be a machine?

"…It was only…only a kiss, Charon."

"What?"

I stare at her, as she cries like any mother would, at hearing this news. Cain, as far as she is concerned, is her son. She loves him, and has raised him as her own. Just as I have.

"A kiss, it was only a kiss. A kiss and it turned…it turned into…"

"How do you know what they did? How? Are you sure?"

She nods, and the tears stop.

"A mother knows a lot more about her children than she lets even their father know. I'm not stupid, Charon, I can see how he looks at her. I see how she…runs to him."

"And how is that?"

"Like I would run to you. Like…the night in Megaton, after my father died. That's…how she runs to him, for everything. And he opens his arms to her, just as you did to me. To Dizzy…Cain is everything. The only man greater than him, in her eyes, is her father. Is you."

I am silent, as Dezbe smokes her cigarette. If they did kiss, which I am sure they have, Cain is forever stuck to Dizzy. Losing one, would ultimately mean, losing the other. As parents, our worries just doubled.

"I never would wish this on anyone."

She says, and I reach over and take her hand.  
"Although I was not as bound to you as Cain is bound to Dizzy, I was still there for you. For everything. Even before, I burned my contract. There is no doubt in my mind, if Cain is anything like myself, that he will not fail at being there for Dizzy."

The moonlight streams in, and Dezbe steps into my open arms.

"You've been there for me, since I was nineteen. Even when you weren't near me, I could still feel you."

"Cain…Cain must be even more careful, than I was. He mustn't leave her, for even a day. To be constantly close to someone…it must…I cannot imagine it."

"What about the nights when she was gone? When she wouldn't come home? Charon, he was fine then, wasn't he?"

Her eyes plead with me to look for an exception. But I cannot. Stroking her cheek, I kiss the top of her head, in hopes that it will bring her some form of comfort.

"That is an empty hope, Dez. We both know when Dizzy would not return, he was fatigued, sickly, and you remember it as well as I."

Knowing this information now, I recall how when Dizzy would vanish, Cain would seem to…lose strength. Although at the time we did not make the correlation, it is understandable, now. He truly needs her. Without Dizzy, Cain will die.

"Charon, go get them. Bring them home. Let's both go. Let's…let's go get our babies back…Charon…"

I wrap my arms around her, as her cigarette falls to the steel floor. Dezbe cries into my chest, a mother, worried for her children. I feel water rise in my own eyes, as it begins to sink in.

"…They are no longer babies, Dezbe."

With small fists, Dezbe hits my chest in bottled-up anger.

"They're _my_ babies…my _babies_…I'm their _mother_ they _need_ me!"

"They do not even know, of the danger that is in front of them. I have not…had a proper chance to tell them."

"Charon…"

To feel helpless for yourself, is one thing. To feel helpless for your children, is another. You as a parent, are meant to love, nurture and protect your children. When you cannot, it is a feeling of failure and despair unmatched by anything else.

"What if…what if…they're our _children_! What if an enemy finds them? Hurts them? Charon! They're my _children_!"

Anger replaces sorrow, as Dezbe thinks of the newfound dangers in depth. I grab her hands in mine, and squeeze them tightly.

"You would have to be a fool, to attack our children, Dezbe, and _everyone_ knows it.

She looks into my eyes, and I look into hers.

"…You really think, anyone who hates us, wouldn't hurt our children, when it's the perfect way to get at us?"

"Yes. I do."

"Why?"

"Because, I have very few things I treasure in this world. You, and my children. Anyone, who has harmed you is dead. Anyone who will harm them, is dead. They simply do not know it, yet."

"You're like a Yao Guai when it comes to us."

"You have no idea, Dezbe. I have yet to meet the man brave enough, to come near my family."

I hold her close, as I think about the future. Wonder when Cain and Dizzy will return home, and wonder if perhaps, everything for them will be alright. It is the only thing we can do now, is sit, and wait, and wonder.


	34. Chapter 34

(Cain)

Wernher gave Dizzy and I a room in the large building that rivals Tenpenny Tower. It's a small room, I told him we didn't need much. After all, we're only staying a night or two. To get our bearings and rest up before heading home. There's a large bed, and a bathroom. That's all it consists of. He gave us a good meal, and told us about our mother. The story of how she saved The Pitt, only more in depth this time. Wernher, and his daughter, Maria, are kind people. They really don't mean anyone any harm, and just try to get by like everyone else in this world. Maria wants to take Dizzy and I out later, but Dizzy opted out, wanting to rest instead. That's not like her, but I figured it was best not to question it. I'm curious about The Pitt, and want to see what it consists of. Even though it's hard to breathe, and a bit hotter here than back home.

"I'm so tired…"

Dizzy says, as she flops on the bed. She presses her face into the pillows, and I sit down beside her. Her head makes its way into my lap, and I look down at her, smiling.

"Yeah, you look tired."

"All this walking is killing me. I don't know how you can go out later."

"I want to see the area, meet the people. Maria seems nice."

"Oh, yeah. _Nice_."

The tone in her voice causes me to raise an eyebrow. I play with her hair, as she sighs up at me, closing her eyes.

"What's that tone for?"

I ask, and she waves her hand at me.

"I saw the way she was looking at you, that's all."

"Dizzy…"

"You're a handsome man, and she wants you."

I remember the first night we slept together in the Capital Wasteland. It didn't include much sleeping, and that's putting it mildly. Things between us, are foggy, and strange. I'm not sure where we stand, or what she expects. I don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. I just know, that when we're alone together, intimate and close, that it's the only thing I've ever wanted in my life. The only thing, I think I'll ever want. I know how wrong it is, and I know there's a place in hell for people like me but…the feelings I felt, when we kissed, when I felt her. Calling it 'lust' or 'passion' is just insulting. It was far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. To be honest, when this began, it all started out, as a simple kiss. I don't know what to say to her. What's the right thing to say? Her blue eyes, stare up at me, perfect, almond. I think, against the red glow of The Pitt, and the black smoke that engulfs everything, they shimmer.

"How do you know?"

It sounds stupid, as I say it. The room is dimly lit, and the setting sun shines in through the windows. Crimson red blankets make up the bed, and there's stains on them. From what, I don't know. Death, probably. It's smoky in here, but not as bad as the outside.

"I'm a girl and I know when other girls want my things."

"I'm yours now?"

Her eyes narrow, but then she looks up. At the cracked ceiling, at the decrepit walls. This world seems to be falling apart everywhere. Except, on the luscious green grass of Megaton.

"…I don't…I don't know. Because…what happens, when we get home? What happens now, even?"

Dizzy asks me, and…I don't have an answer. I shake my head, as I run my fingers through my hair. Her hand reaches up, and touches the stubble that never seems to grow.

"You know…"

She trails off, and I kiss the top of her head. I don't know what she was going to say, but I do know, that at the end of the night, I just want everything to be alright.

"We can't…continue on like this, Dizzy, and we both know it."

"But we both want it."

"Our feelings, don't much matter, in the bigger picture. How would mom and dad feel?"

Suddenly I remember how mom told me to take care of her, and how dad gave his mysterious blessing. Dizzy doesn't know of this, and I don't know if it's right to tell her. Her hand falls from my face, and I smooth my hand over her hair.

"…Yeah…I guess…we should move on then, right? I mean…I don't know."

Dizzy sits up, and I realize how much the passing of time has hurt us.

"Dizzy, don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Don't…I don't know."

"Just go meet with Maria. I'll…I'll be here when you get back. I have to rest. And think."

"Think about what?"

"I don't know. Everything."

It's a stale silence, one you can't really break. So I figure, that all I can do is listen to her. Getting up, I leave my gun on the bed, and look at her.

"I'll be back later."

"I know. It's okay."

Leaving the room, is difficult for me. I don't know why, but despite the atmosphere, I just want to be with her. I want to be with her, and not give anymore fucks about anyone else or the world. I just want to be with her. Just her. Before I close the door, I take one more look at her. She stands, looking out the window, with her back to me. The curves of her petite and slender body, outlined by the final rays of the setting sun. Accented, by the smoke, and glowing from the red. She's beautiful. She's everything, anyone could ever want. She's…still my sister. And I have to close the door on her.


	35. Chapter 35

_While browsing DeviantArt, I found a picture of a Lone Wanderer that fit my image of Dizzy too perfectly to ignore. The only difference would be in the hair color (brown/black) and armor (Paingiver) I figured I'd post the link up here, to draw a better picture of 'Dizzy'. Just, remove the spaces._

http:/dragonslover1. deviantart . com /art / Fallout-3-Star-141451124?q= boost%3Apopular%20fallout%203%20female&qo=39

_Also, I found another picture. I've accepted this as a very accurate image of what Charon-human would look like, and in other words, 'Cain'. Except with a bit more girth/muscle. Also found on DeviantArt and love this artist's work._

http:/windfreak. deviantart. com/art/ I-belong-to-no-one-150347224?q= boost%3Apopular%20charon%20fallout%203&qo=174

* * *

Maria ends up showing me a few bars around The Pitt. Apparently, they're more recently built, and the citizens are just getting use to it. Bars and liquor are so common in the Capital Wasteland, that it's cheaper than water. All the rounds have been on her all night, and she hasn't been letting up. I don't know how many drinks I've had, or how late it's gotten. Only that I'm sitting here with this new person, and laughing. Laughing, like I haven't laughed in years. Being around Dizzy and around Megaton, is like carrying a dark cloud with you. Always, I'm worried about something, or someone. It's never about me. And Maria, is interested, in only me. It's a change, I think I needed.

"What else did you do growing up?"

Maria says, laughing at the same time. I try to think clearly, and when I do, I realize how drunk I am.

"Fuck. I don't…remember I am way…too drunk. What…time is it?"

"Why? Do you have somewhere you need to be?"

"Dizzy."

"You're dizzy?"  
"No, no Dizzy. My…my sister."

Maria looks at me as we try to stand. At first I can't figure out how, and the entire bar spins. Eventually I get my bearings, and we laugh about the difficulty.

"She's your sister? I thought…she was your girlfriend."

I laugh at the statement, even though it isn't that funny.

"No, no, no…she's…my half sister. Half. So. Half of me. A quarter."

"You two seem…close."

Maria leans on me for balance and support as we walk out the bar. I don't want to talk about Dizzy.

"No more talk. Walk. I have to get back."

As we make it outside, the streets, if you call them that, are empty. Building rise up all around, small ones, big ones. This place is too condensed. I don't like it. It makes me sick, and everything around me spins.

"What's the rush?"

Maria says, as she stumbles between two buildings. I go to catch her, but fall with her. We laugh, as we lay in the gravel. It's warm, and relaxing. I close my eyes, but I have to open them because the world spins.

"Ah…this feels nice."

Maria tells me, and I feel her presence becoming closer and closer.

"It's warm."

"So you don't have a girlfriend then?"

I shake my head at her, holding back the urge to throw up.

"No…"

Dizzy's image flashes in my drunk mind. And saying no, for some reason, hurts.

"Why? You're really handsome."

"Dizzy. I have to take care of Dizzy. No time."

"Maybe you should make time."

I feel Maria's lips against mine. At first, I want to push her away. But as the seconds pass, I find myself…enjoying it. I'm not sure why. But, I do. I enjoy it, and I like it. When she pulls away, I see a smile across her face.

"You should stay here, for a bit longer."

"I have to go home."

"But stay, let Dizzy go home."

"Maybe."

I say, as I try to stand. Kissing Maria, although felt good, brought me back to my senses a bit.

"I have to go."

I tell her, stumbling away. I've never been a drinker. Never really had an urge to drink. I suppose that's just another triad I get from my father. Maria, will end up being just like Erin. She'll run away and flip when she finds out what I am. I am not human, really. I'm just…a really well-built terminal. But the kiss felt good. And I do tire of the emotions I get from Dizzy. And sometimes I don't like to deal with them. Like now. Alone, and stumbling back to wherever the building is. My night is cut short, because of Dizzy. But I can't put all the blame on her, because it's partly my fault, too.

Standing in front of the door to my shared room with Dizzy, I can't figure how to open it. I don't know if I even want to. But…an invisible force drives me to. Light from the outside shines in, although it's still night. It makes the room a bit easier to look at, since the bright hall lights of the building made my eyes hurt. I lost some of my supper in a trash can not too far back.

"Cain? Is that you?"

I hear Dizzy say, sounding like she's half asleep. Which I'm sure she is. Looking at the bed, as I still stand in the doorway, I notice she's only in her bra. Whatever's comfortable, I suppose.

"Yeah. Yeah it's…me."

"It's late, Cain. And…wait, are you drunk?"

"So what if I am? Shut up."

I slam the door behind me and stumble over to the bed. Sitting down, I try and take my shoes off, while Dizzy watches quietly. When she notices I can't much do it on my own, she gets up to help. She unlaces them for me, and I realize, she only has her underwear on.

"Come on, I'll help you to bed."

She says when she's done getting my boots off. I don't waste time, and get my duster jacket off as quickly as I can. Finding the pillows with my hand, I rest my head on them.

"Cain?"

"Uh?"

"Is…is that blood?"

Before I can respond, Dizzy grabs my face and looks at it in the light shining in.

"What _is_ that?"

I think of what it could be, and then remember. Maria had met me with paint on her face. She said it was makeup. That people wore it in pre-war times.

"Makeup. Something Maria wore tonight."

"What the hell…I don't really want to know but…wait. How'd it…"

Dizzy doesn't finish her sentence. She lets go of my face and lets me rest in peace. Her silence bothers me though.

"Don't guilt me. I can do what I want, Dizzy."

"…Yeah, I know. Sorry."

No argument. Which isn't like her. I get mad at that for some reason, and sit up. It makes the room spin again.

"Why do…why do you _always_ have to…annoy me? Don't I watch you enough? Do enough? Fuck, Dizzy, just…let me move on already!"

She stares at me, saying nothing. Tears don't even form in her eyes. Her face is set and expressionless.

"I…didn't ask you to do anything you didn't want to. I didn't mean to make you feel obligated."

"Well, you did."

"…I'm sorry."

"Good."

And nothing more is said, before I fall back down, and go to sleep.


	36. Chapter 36

When I wake up the next morning, I have a pounding headache. Nauseous, dizzy, I open my eyes. The sunlight burns them, as I clench them closed again. Memories of last night fall blank, as I try to remember what happened.

"Dizzy?"

I call, my voice hoarse. She doesn't respond, so without opening my eyes, I reach over for her. She isn't there.

"Dizzy?"

I say again, sitting up a bit too fast. I feel sicker than I thought I would. Opening my eyes, I see the bathroom door is open, and Dizzy isn't in there nor beside me. Her clothes are gone, her gun is gone. She left it on the small table before I went out last night. Out. I went out. Where did I go? With Maria, to the bar. But, what happened?

I try to remember, as I search for my boots on the floor. The room spins, and sharp pains shoot through my stomach. It's an empty feeling of nausea. Finding something to puke in would be useless, because there's nothing inside of me.

Grabbing my gun and putting my jacket on, I force my body to move even though it doesn't want to. There's something else missing, and I can feel it. It isn't just Dizzy, or food. I use to feel this way the mornings when Dizzy didn't return home, too. Just not as bad, but the alcohol of last night probably made it worse.

"Dizzy?"

I call down the hall as I open the door. There's a few people around, but no Dizzy. Maybe she went to see Wernher? Figuring that to be the most probable suggestion, I head to where he lives. Knocking on his door rattles my brain. It hurts to even think at this point. Now I understand why dad didn't ever drink. It horribly impairs you, and he'd be useless the morning after. I'm sure his employers wouldn't like that too much. I don't know how anyone, can do this all the time. It hurts.

Wernher finally opens his door, and smirks while he looks at me.

"Had a good night? Maria's still in bed."

Actually, I can't much remember last night right now. It's a bit too hurtful to do so, and I'm already in enough pain from this hangover. I don't tell him that though. I just think it.

"Is Dizzy here? She wasn't in the room when I woke up."

Wernher shakes his head, staring at me like he's analyzing something.

"No, she isn't here. But, you look a bit worse for wear. Is everything alright? You seem sicker than just a hangover."

"I'm fine. Really. But, Dizzy isn't here? Do you know where she went?"

"Not to my knowledge. Maybe she went back home?"

"Dizzy doesn't…"

Before I finish the sentence, I remember a snippet of last night. Dizzy and I got into some sort of argument. She has a nasty habit of taking off when you least expect her to. Usually after arguments.

"What is it?"

Wernher asks me, and I shake my head.

"I think you're right. Thanks for the help. I should be heading back."

I try to keep calm and make sure Wernher doesn't suspect anything. I simply just don't trust people, and I have no idea why. My father always taught me to be wry, and although Wernher was kind and admires my mom, I still don't know him very well. And mom's had admirers backstab her plenty of times. I'm sure they're good people though.

"Anytime. See you around, kid. Be safe."

I wave at him, as I walk away. My head pounds and thuds and with each pulsate makes everything blurry. I don't know how I'm going to make it all the way home feeling this way, but I have to give it a shot. Dizzy wouldn't run anywhere else, and something in my gut tells me the Capital Wasteland is exactly where she is. If not, then where she's heading. It's…almost like I can see it. Mentally, I mean. I can see the images of her on the trolly back, almost, and make out the faint light of the ending tunnel, with the Capital Wasteland just beyond that.

It's strange. This whole thing is strange. Everything is, really. Our relationship, the powerful and overprotective feeling I get regularly for her, the…sensing where she is, when I don't even know where to begin looking. I feel like I _have_ to be near Dizzy. Like some celestial being created me just for her.

I am a creation, though. I am a creation not of two people loving one another enough to prove their love, but a creation of a few mad scientists in hope to redefine warfare and personal security. I don't feel like an android, although I'm not sure how androids are supposed to feel, exactly. I suppose I feel like a regular person, even though I don't know how they feel, either. I just feel like myself, I guess you could say. I don't tick like a terminal, or whir and beep like mom's Pip-Boy. I breathe, talk, and sigh light every other human being. But I'm not human. Fuck how long is this going to last?

I get to the tunnel, and discover the trolly is gone. Great. Well, at least I know where Dizzy went. I look behind me, over the bridge, and see people of The Pitt staring at me. They've made their own happiness here. I envy them, as I turn my back on them. I envy, that they can live in peace, in harmony, and do whatever it is they please. The Capital Wasteland, isn't much different. But for people like Dizzy and I, it is. It's a very different world, when you love someone you were never meant to love in the first place. When you're one of those people. Like me.

Walking down the dark tunnel, my eyes adjust quickly to the dark. I have good vision in the dark, I suppose from my creation. I think about Dizzy, and how…I wish there was a place for us. A place, where…we could laugh. Somewhere over the mountains on the horizon of the Capital Wasteland, and where all the roads are empty. A place, where Dizzy and I could just talk, laugh, and be honest. There'd be flowers, like the ones my father would talk about. Pre-war ones. Hell there doesn't even have to be that. It doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to exist. A place, where Dizzy and I…could be. Could be in love, could be together, safe, and have nobody know anything about us.

Although vast, mom and dad have covered and made their names known all over the Capital Wasteland. People here know they have kids. Anyone who's seen them, and sees Dizzy and I, will make the connection. We like to fool ourselves into thinking that there's nothing out here that can hurt us, and nobody that knows us, but so many people pass through Megaton. So many people know we're the offspring of Dezbe and Charon, that it isn't even a question anymore. It protects us from enemies, because no one wants to piss either one of my parents off, but it hurts us. Because we can never be free. Not even the night, gives us freedom. I want a place, where it's just her and I. Where all else, is nothing. Nobody, would be able to understand how hard it is, to look at the person you love, and know…you'll never be able to kiss them, hold them, and show you love them, without being called a freak or monster.

My head pounds, and instead of getting better, I start to feel worse. It gets harder and harder to walk with each struggling step I take. What keeps me going, is the thought of finding Dizzy, and the stories of survival my parents told me about. How hard was it for them? Harder than a stupid hangover, that's for sure. How hard was it for dad to look at my mother, and know she didn't even know who he was when she lost her memory? How hard was it for mom to think my father was dead, that she killed him, when in truth he was still alive. They spent five years apart, thinking the other was in pain, or not even on this earth. My sickness, hardly compares, to what my parents went through.

In a sense, their situation is the same as Dizzy and I. With dad being a ghoul, and humans not liking ghouls, it was hard for them to be together. Without prejudice, that is. But they did it. Basically because they had no one else, and their friends accepted them. They didn't…care, really. But I care. I care on how it will look on them. And I care about the repercussions of my actions. I don't want, to disappoint them. They say, they're okay with it, but I don't know if they really are. In my head, I hear one hundred million angels screaming at me to lay down and rest. But I can't rest. I have to get back to the Capital Wasteland. I have to find Dizzy.


	37. Chapter 37

(Charon)

In the middle of the night, I wake up. Something woke me, but there is nothing here. I am drenched in cold sweat, and stare up at the cold ceiling above me. Movement on my left side, causes me to look over. Dezbe sits up, staring straight ahead. She senses me, and looks down. Her eyes are bright, against the moon.

"Something's wrong."

She tells me, and I sit up. I am hot and cold all at once. My shirt is on the floor, my boots, armor and gun beside it. Dez's hand touches my bare arm, and I sigh.

"Yes. Something is wrong."

"Charon…we have to find them."

What wakes us is a mutual thing. Something, perhaps, every parent has. The silent knowing, something is wrong with your children. That they are in some form of danger, and need you. Dezbe and I waste no time talking of it. We get out of bed, the moon high in the sky, and begin to dress and prepare. It cannot be past midnight. I only spoke to the children two days ago over the radio. What danger, could be so severe, that it would cause us to wake? Dezbe and myself are not easily scared or unnerved. We have never felt this feeling before. Our children, have never been away for this long before. It is new, and it is frightening.

Strapping on my armor, I make sure my gun is locked, and loaded as I strap it on my back. Dezbe clips her sawed-off to her hip, and looks at me in the moonlight.

"You feel it too."

"Yes."

I tell her, leading the way out of our bedroom. We walk down the stairs, and don't bother to grab anything else but our guns from the house. The front door closes behind us, as we head out into the Capital Wasteland.

"…I'm scared for them, Charon."

"As am I."

"They need us…"

"We will find them, rest assured, Dezbe."

She looks at me, with the sorrow and fear of a worried mother present on her face.

"What if we're too late."

"Thinking like that is not healthy. We will get to them."

"Charon…we both know…sometimes…"

"No. We will find them."

We stare out at the night, at the horizon. There is a million places they could be, and somehow, we walk, as if we know. As if we're being driven towards them.

"…Charon, you're part of Cain. You're…what he was built on. Like a twin."

"What are you getting at?"

"Find him Charon. Your connection to him, is stronger, than mine."

She is right. I am, connected to Cain. A symbiotic relationship, where Cain and I can simply understand one another, when no words are spoken. A deep trust, a deep knowing. One, perhaps, only identical twins can relate to. Dezbe is right. Cain, is my twin. And I must play on that, to find him.

"This way, is the only way I can figure to walk."

"What if they got separated?"

"That is what I feel happened."

I hear something in the distance, so I take out my gun, and prepare myself for the threats of the night. Dezbe and I stare, guns drawn. It turns out only to be a Molerat, which has never been a threat to us. Dezbe lowers her gun, and looks at me.

"We're never this skittish."

I know she is right, as I turn away from the Molerat and continue on, gun in hand.

"Charon, something…it…this isn't right."

"I know, Dez."  
"…How come you didn't go instead?"

"Cain felt it was a great idea to take the responsibility himself."

Dezbe smoothes over her arms, where the skin has peeled off. Her arms, almost match mine. She sees me looking at them in the moonlight, and looks away.

"Years ago, Wernher said that it takes years to get sick from Trog. That lesions are the only side effect, if you get away from the area."

"We have discovered, plenty of times, that due to your immunity to radiation, sicknesses can be worse for you."

"Yeah, a blessing and a curse."

"You are unique, Dezbe. Which reminds me, what was the cure for it?"

"…A baby."

"A baby?"

She nods her head, memories of the past reflecting in her eyes. Back then, it was a difficult time for the both of us.

"A baby, born with the immunity to Trog. Wernher was raising her as his daughter, the last time I saw him. Her name is Maria. She was the real savior of The Pitt. I only helped."

"I see."

I am short, because my mind is distracted. As we walk onwards, I fear what we may find. Or rather, what we do not find in time. Our children…are in danger. Due to circumstances, however, I wonder, if Cain can still be considered our son? We love him, as a son, but…can we continue to call him our own? Or instead…see him, as…something else?


	38. Chapter 38

(Cain)

I can hardly move. I can hardly breathe. My skin breaks easy, I can't explain why. As each hour passes, my legs grow weaker and weaker, and my weight cripples them. I fall to the ground, and my skin opens and bleeds with each impact. I feel the blood trickling down on my face, as my heart works overtime to make up for it. There are stains on my outfit from the blood beneath them. My sides ache as if I've somehow broken ribs, and still, I walk on. Still, there are no signs of Dizzy. I know if I stop, I won't begin again, so I've been walking for a whole day and night. The sun is rising over the Capital Wasteland, and damn, it's beautiful.

I did see some traders, who asked if I needed help. Their free stimpaks did nothing, but they did tell me they saw Dizzy. Or at least, someone of semblance to Dizzy. In Paingiver armor, heading towards Megaton. The general direction, south. It gave me a fluttering hope that I may find her soon. I can't stop and think about myself until I do, because I can't stand the thought of her in danger. Ironically, the thought of her in danger, is the exact thought that makes me continue on, despite the sickness and pain I'm in.

This isn't a hangover anymore. Nor do I blame the liquor. Something tells me it's much worse than either one of those combined. A part of me thinks I caught something from Maria, or someone in The Pitt, but a sickness like this wouldn't spread as quickly. It gets harder and harder to breathe, and I practically gasp for air. It feels like I'm swimming to a surface that's too far away, and my lungs are about to burst. I don't know how much longer I can last, I just know I have to get home. Get to Megaton, where things will be safe. Where everything will turn out okay. But as time ticks by, I start to feel, as if this might be my last day here.

It makes me wonder, if it was my last day, what would I regret? Would I regret keeping my feelings from Dizzy? Regret the liquored-up argument we had? What about mom and dad? Would they know what happened? Would they come and look for me? I've been thinking it over, and…I decided that if I get to see Dizzy again, I'll tell her everything I ever meant to say. That beside her, is where I feel my purpose is. That it's all I ever wanted. That I'll stick by her, no matter what trouble she finds or what endeavors she seems to embark on. That…I love her, and only her, and I'd spend the rest of my life proving it to her.

I'd ask her, to run away with me. Somewhere far, where no one knows us. A secret place, for her and I to find our own adventures. To be reserved versions of mom and dad. Mom…dad…I wonder if they're worried? If Dizzy and I told them what happened between us, how would they react? Would I still be calling them my parents, or instead by their names? I know, due to how I came to be, mom and dad would want my happiness, and approve of Dizzy and I. But, I wouldn't want anyone to know. I would claim to be an orphan, and Dizzy is very close to me. Or simply say they adopted me, which in fact, they did.

Shit. Why do I have to be so close to dad? To his genetic makeup? It would make everything easier, if I was just…some random person. With no connection to Charon whatsoever. But I am, and I can't change my genetics.

I've been trying to remember my earliest memory, to pass the time. Mostly it's after I've met the other kids in my bunk. But, I've been seeing other things to. I can remember a blue-green liquid, and the feeling of weightlessness, as I was suspended in that liquid. An umbilical cord ran from my stomach, to the top of the tube, where I gained my nutrients from. An artificial womb and placenta. There were men in white coats, with clipboards, staring at me. Their lips moved, but I can't make out their words. It reverberates around me, and I remember, I learned the feeling of 'fright'.

I can't remember coming out of the tube, or much of what happened before being introduced to the other children. I remember being told I was special, and that's about it. For some reason, I have this urge to tell this memory to dad…Charon. To tell him that I remember where I come from, and that I'm not birthed by him, or mom. That it's an accident I came to be his genetic match. And it shouldn't stand in the way of Dizzy and I being together.

Sweat drips off of my hair, as it dangles over my eyes. I don't have the energy to produce sweat, but my body has it's own priorities. I look ahead of me, as the sun continues to rise. And I wish, with my whole aching body and soul, if I have one, that Dizzy was here to see it with me. Stopping for just a moment to soak it up, I feel my heart beating furiously inside my chest. The earth beneath my feet feels like it's moving, and I realize, that stopping probably wasn't the best idea. Suddenly, I find myself on the ground, and the pain from standing is replaced by the pain from the new and old cuts adorning my body. I fall on my side, and I feel comfortable. As if this bed of sediment, is the place I'm meant to lie forever.

I don't know what happens when you die. I don't know what you're supposed to see, or if you see anything. Before my eyes, I see Dizzy. She's laying beside me, and her warm hand covers mine. She smiles at me, with her short, dark hair blowing gently in the wind. There's not a worry in the world, when she's in front of me. My mind is clear, and I feel a painful smile creep across my face.

"Dizzy…"

I sigh, feeling sick, painfully sick. As soon as she appeared, Dizzy vanishes. I'm left staring at a rock, while my cheek presses against the small rocks and dirt of the Capital Wasteland. The pain is too intense for my weak body to react to, and all I can manage to do is close my eyes and wait for it to pass, while tears leak from the corners of my eyes. Breathing hurts more than I ever thought it would, and pain vibrates my entire body. Still, I wonder where Dizzy is. If she's safe, if she's alright.

Rolling on my back, I know I can't stand. Trying would waste any energy that I may need to stay alive. The sky above me is light with morning, and as tired as I am, something tells me to stay awake. Something, in the back of my mind, pleads with me to keep my eyes open. A part of my chest feels warm, but not with blood. With instead, hope. What I'm hoping for, is really foggy and unclear. Hoping to find Dizzy, hoping to get up, hoping for something, anything. It doesn't matter, because it's simply hope. It'll keep my heart beating, even after I close my eyes.

They feel so heavy, but closing them causes a sharp migraine, until I open them again. As if my own body wants to torture me one last time, before releasing me into sleep. It won't let me sleep. I haven't slept in…in twenty-four hours. And yet, as tired as I feel, I can't sleep. I don't know if I'll wake up, as I feel blood trickle from the back of my neck. Since when did my skin become so easy to slice? I hear whirring, and ticking, from somewhere in the back of my mind. And then…I feel alive again. I can taste…I can taste the sky. It's…it's raining.

Rain trickles down lightly, and into my open mouth. Replenishing me, just a bit. It gives me no energy, but it cools me down. The ticking and whirring in my mind can't be blocked. Is the machine that I was built as, overriding the man that I became?

"Dad…"

I say softly, feeling my fingers digging into the dirt, and blood, where small, sharp rocks pierce my weakened skin. A shudder travels down my spine, as I grip to reach the edges of my duster jacket. I blink my eyes slow enough, to keep the migraine away, and give myself a few short moments of sweet release. The dirt around me, is wetting, turning to dark mud. It was clear, just moments ago.

A cough tickles my throat, and forces my body to propel forward as it erupts. Blood comes from my mouth, but why? Why do I feel like this? What's so wrong with me, that even the smallest rock causes the deepest cut? What's happening to me? And…more importantly, more importantly than my own health, where is Dizzy? Dizzy, her name. Her name, and the memories I have, make my heart slow. Slow and quicken, as if I'm supposed to do something about it. But there's nothing for me to do, I can hardly breathe let alone move.

"…Dad…mom…dad…"

I breathe in and out, and try to close my eyes. Fighting the pain in my head, I focus only on the whirring and ticking of my mind. Focus on the comfort a sleep will give me. A rest. Maybe, I need a nap. A nap, and then, my strength will come back. And I can find…I can find her.


	39. Chapter 39

(Dizzy)

You can't really call me running off an act of anger. I wasn't angry with Cain. Strangely, I understood. Understood how he probably felt free, after his first drunken night, and understood that maybe him and Maria got close and frisky. To be honest, it didn't bother me too bad. Cain and I…we can never be together, anyways. I know I can use the excuse of how he came to be, in order to justify the feelings I've harbored my entire life, but, there is a point. A point in which one must give up, and move on. We are still genetically alike. We technically are a quarter of one another, you know? Or, half. I mean, he is one-hundred percent dad, and I'm one-half. So, together, that's seventy-five percent. Which is related. There's no more room for justification, so instead, it's better this way.

I don't intend to make him worry. Give him time to sober up, fix his hangover, and get home. I'll meet him there, because I really don't have any other place to go. And frankly now, I'm scared. Scared really, to venture off alone. Cain was with me this time, and I realized during our trip how vast and empty this world is. It isn't something I want to experience by myself. In my head, I admitted, that mom is much stronger than I could ever be. Because simply put, I can never do half of what she did. I'm not as brave, or as driven, as mom was.

Cain and I have to move on. Whether he harbors love or lust for me doesn't matter. What matters, is that we're simply incapable of being together. It wouldn't work, and would only cause a lot of people to have a lot of negative results. I've brought enough stress and worry on my family, and I don't want to bring anymore. So, maybe it's mature, for me to…just…grow up. I don't know.

It was terrifying to leave The Pitt of my own accord, and get home. But it wasn't that bad, once the trolly ride was over. Once my feet were on the Capital Wasteland, I didn't feel as if I needed anyone, really. I only wanted someone, and there's a difference in that. Being home, in a place you're somewhat familiar with, makes a world of difference. Megaton isn't that far, either. So all I did was walked as far as I could, and then found shelter when the sun set.

Night was terrifying, really. Because every little sound woke me up. You don't really know what real silence is, until you spend a night away from any form of civilization. In the middle of The Pitt and Megaton, the silence goes far beyond anything I could have ever dreamt of. Plus, I was also worried about Cain. I know I should have left a note. Telling him I'd be in Megaton, and not to worry. That I just needed to get away and clear my head for a bit. Like I said, I'm not mad at him, I'm just…hurt. Yeah. Hurt.

Cain's always been there, so, sharing him with another woman will be a hard pill for me to swallow. I'll…I'll always love him, but, I know in reality it'll never be. So when time comes, and he finds a woman worthy of his love, it'll be hard…to see them together. To see them happy. By then, I know, there'll be no more room for me in his life. He deserves, to live a normal life out here. Like mom and dad have. God, I miss dad. I miss, my mom.

I can't think of that right now, though. Because by tomorrow we should all be together, and feelings aside, everything should be alright. It's early morning now, and the rain is starting to come down pretty hard. I know out here, so far from the green soil of Megaton, the ground gets dangerous and uneven when the rains come. Mom always worries that the mountains in the distance will fall or cause a landslide when it rains. Me? I like how it feels against my bare skin. It cools me off, and mats my hair against my head. It gives me, a warm and soothing sensation. Like, I'm really alive. Like I'm really, real.

I look around while I walk. There's a gang of Raiders I don't recognize, which means it's probably a smaller faction. They're somewhere to my right, and they're around something. Laughing, kicking, whatever or whoever it is they're bullying, they probably did something to deserve it. I still look like a Raider, but I'm not. Shit to be honest I never even wanted to be one. It was just a way to rebel. I turn my head from them, I always thought they were disgusting folk, anyways. Quick to turn their backs on their own kin, and even quicker to stab you in the back. It was a group effort though. One to distract you, one to stab you, and one to turn the blade. Pettiness I wish now, I was never a part of. It seems so miniscule, in the big picture of life.

The world isn't fair, and it'll eat you if you let it. In the rain, I stop to try and light a cigarette. After a few tries, I succeed. While I smoke, and use my hand to block the rain, I watch the Raiders. They're only a few yards away. They're having a grand ol' time, too. There's only three of them, so a small band. They also don't have the markings of any organized Raider gang. So, for all I know, they're just some kids playing dress up.

"Pretty gun…pretty face…pretty man…"

A girl's voice echoes over to me. I guess one of them is a girl. I can't tell because I'm too far away. I can see her bending down and picking up a gun, while she coos to the body on the ground. My mother, at nineteen, probably would do what I'm doing now and not care. But, my mother later in life, as she is, would probably help. I can't come to my own conclusion. The Raiders are probably tweaking on Jet and Psycho, anyways. The girl's voice sounded a bit deluded.

"Pretty red hair, so pretty…you are going to be my pet. My pretty, pretty, pet."

Huh. Well. Whatever drugs that girl is on, makes me want to ask for some. Because I've never thought anything was 'pretty'.

"Hey c'mon no way! No!"

A guy Raider says to her.

"You're being loud and obnoxious!"

I yell to them, and I don't know why. They weren't even really bothering me. I guess I just felt like drawing some of the attention off of the beaten body. They turn to face me, the source of the outburst, and I flinch at the pile of a body they're standing around. I want to tell that body, that I'm sorry. I don't know why.

"Hey! Who you think you are!"

The second male Raider yells to me, as they advance on me. Figuring it's time to put my gun to good use for once, I take it off of my hip and walk to meet them halfway.

"Dizzy."

I reply, with confidence I didn't even know I had. I feel strange. Like, I'm not myself. Like I know I can hurt them. With my immunity to radiation, I am stronger than the average Capital Wasteland female. But, it's something else. Maybe, the genes my father gave to me, are beginning to work. The confidence, the strength, I know it's in me. The ability to fight, after watching Cain and dad do it my whole life, I know I have.

"Dizzy? That's her name, huh?"

Says the female, as we get closer. I glance behind them, and see the body they had been kicking roll on their back. My eyes widen, in terror, in horror, as I see their profile.

"Cain!"

I lunge my body forward, with speed I didn't even know I had this early in the morning. I get to the Raiders, and try to run past, but one grabs my arm.

"Hey, hey!"

Jerking my arm from him, I look him in the eye.

"Don't touch me."

"Come here we want to talk. Come here, pretty, pretty."

I raise my gun, and put my finger on the trigger.

"You're in the way, and my finger is on the trigger."

"Pretty lady wants to fight."

They take the weapons off of their backs, and I look over at Cain. It was _him_ they were kicking. _Him_ they were hurting. Rage, and anger, fills me like an infection. An infection that spreads and surges at an unstoppable rate. My entire body trembles, and shakes, and I wonder…is this how dad feels, when someone hurts mom?

"You…you…"

I say through grit teeth, as I move my eyes back on the Raiders.

"What, pretty?"

I shoot her. With no hesitation, without a second thought. I shoot her, and the rest soon follow. Close range, with my scoped .44 Magnum, they're practically disintegrated. I've never really shot anyone with this gun, so I'm at first shocked at the damage. The entrance wounds leave them wondering for a split second, and the exit…the exit wound is where the death and damage lies. It rips them open, and blood mixes with rain. They wait too long, wait to respond, and by the time they do, they're too close to death to fight back. I realize, they're just like me. They weren't real Raiders, but some young and dumb kids dressing up as them. A real Raider, wouldn't have gotten so close. Would have recognized my uniform, would have charged me without question. I don't feel guilt. I don't feel anything, towards my first kills.

Looking over at Cain, I'm quick to holster my weapon once again, and run over to him.

"Cain! Cain! Cain!"

The rain makes it muddy, and I slip a few times before getting to him. I'm dirty, wet, but I get to him. I'm stunned, by what I see. The handsome, clean face I knew is covered in blood. Blood from his mouth, his cheeks, his scalp. His hands curl against his torso as he lays on his side, bloody. I touch his upper arm, and pull away instantly again.

"…Cain, did…how did this happen? Cain?"

He's stronger, than to be ambushed by three make-pretend Raiders. Something else must have happened. Something worse, but, what? What could cause, the second most strongest man I know, to hurt like this? Against the loud rain, I hear an even louder whirring and ticking noise. I don't know where it comes from, but I don't care.

"Cain come on, sit up this isn't funny!"

He doesn't respond. I shake him.

"This isn't funny! Get up! Get up right now!"

When that doesn't work, I hit him with my puny fists, against his duster jacket, with the rain washing away the mud.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just wake up! Wake up! I'm sorry! You're not allowed to die! You're not allowed to die!"

"Dizzy!"

Someone calls my name, and I look over, with tears streaming down my face, and mixing in with the rain. In the distance, I see mom and dad. It doesn't cross my mind, as to what they're doing out here. Once I register that they're not a threat, I go back to Cain.

"I said wake up! Wake up right now! You're not allowed to leave me! You're not allowed to! Wake up!"

I hit him harder and harder, and I don't stop. Even when I feel my father's hands around my waist, I flail and kick.

"No! No! You have to wake him up! Let me go! I have to wake him up! He's broken fix him! Fix him! He's _broken_!"

My mother looks at me, and then rushes to Cain's side. She hears the whirring, too. I try to fight my father, and punch at his strong hands.

"Let me go! Let me go! Right now, let me go!"

I kick and punch until I feel him drop me. Feeling my feet on steady ground, I rush back to Cain, and jump over his body. I want to see his face. I want to see him. Grabbing his cheeks with my hands, I lift his head, and the whirring rings in my ears.

"Wake up right now! This is a bad dream so _wake up_!"

I scream at him.

"Dizzy, stop it!"

My mother yells and I look at her. I cling to Cain, and pull him on my lap.

"No…no he's mine. He's _mine_! You're not taking him away!"

"Dizzy?"

My mother reaches towards me, but in my anger, my worry, my sorrow, I hit her hand away.

"_No! He's not your son! He's mine! He's mine! He's not yours! You can't take him away from me!"_

I take deep breaths in. Cradling his head, I cling to his hair, and feel the dampness of it. Looking at my dad, with bleary eyes, I plead with him.

"Don't…don't take him away from me…Don't. I'll do anything, daddy. Please. Please, bring him back."

My dad swallows hard, and looks away from me. He can't stand, to see me in pain. To see me cling to my dying brother.

"…I can't."

"No! You can do anything! You can do anything! Bring him back!"

Mom rests her hand on Cain's shoulder, and closes her eyes.

"But we can't bring him back, Dizzy."

She says to me, and I look down. Blood stops flowing from him. Dad says, you only bleed, as long as you're alive. That once you die, your heart stops, and so doesn't the blood.

"But…but…there's magic and…there's radiation and…there's…doctors…"

"And we, are not magicians, or radiation, or doctors."

Mom says, sad, sorrowful. Her hands close around his jacket, and we look at my dad. As if he has the answers to the universe right in the palms of his hands.

"Daddy…please…"

Dad says nothing, as he walks towards Cain. Mom and I move away, and she comes over to me. I hug her, and hide my face in the nape of her neck. I cry, as her arms wrap around me.

"I know…I know…"

Peering out, I see that with strength my father rarely shows, he lifts Cain's body in his arms. Cain's limbs and head hang lifelessly, as dad turns to face us.

"I can do nothing, but bring him home."

"…You're supposed to be able, to do anything, dad…"

The rain begins to slow, and I let go of my mother. Cain is my father, identical in every way, and yet…my dad stands, holding him like he's no heavier than me.

"I cannot do the impossible, Dizzy. I wish, I could."

"Do it for _me_. Daddy, please, do it for _me_…"

He exchanges a pained look with my mother, who nods her head. Dad bends down, and lays Cain on the muddy ground. I kneel beside him, and cry harder than I think I've ever cried before.

"…Do it for me…daddy I…I…"

They wait for me to finish, and I look up at them.

"I love him. I love him. Please…I love him…"

They know without asking. They know, and understand, that the love I'm speaking of, is not the love siblings share for one another. That it's a deeper, and more powerful love.

"…I'm scared…"

I tell them, and they say nothing. There is nothing to say. Wrapping my hand around Cain's, I feel the rain stop. Curling beside him, the mud trickles into my pants and shirt. I forms to my body, and I press my head close to his, and I don't care, who sees me.

"You have to come back…because…you can't…leave. Who else is going to be there? Who is going…to laugh with me? Who else, will love me?"

"Dizzy…"

I hear my mother's voice, but I ignore her, and close my eyes as tight as I can.

"You don't have to be alone anymore. I won't ever leave you alone. I won't ever leave you. Make it stop whirring, make it stop…come back. Come back…Cain, come back…"

I never realized before, how empty, and how lonely, the world is. Never realized, how much Cain truly meant to me, until…he's taken away.

"I have so much I have left to say, please. You can't go, until I've said it all."

I open my eyes, but, Cain's remain closed. I cry, and wail, and yell as I wrap my arms around him. I cling to him, as if…as if without him, my own life, has no meaning.

"If it's been too long, he won't wake up."

I hear my father say, and I silence myself. He stares at me, with those eyes. Those eyes, that Cain has. Those eyes, that bring me so much comfort.

"Why not?"

I sniff, still laying, still clinging to Cain.

"…Because he was designed to…pass on, if not with the person, he was to…protect."

There's more than they're letting on. I know this because they're here. Why else would mom and dad leave, if not for an emergency? If not, for something they weren't telling me? But, what dad must mean, is that Cain being a machine, he must be dependant on something. Something, that I can't begin to understand. Something that has to do with me.

"How much time?"

I ask them, and mom shakes her head.

"Two days."

"But it's only been one! It's only been one! I only left…"

Two nights ago. I left after Cain passed out, drunk. But…but no. No that was the very early morning. Yesterday's very early morning. It had to be. That means there's hours left.

"There's time! There's time! There has to be…"

"I don't know what else to do, Dizzy. He's not waking. You're near him."

"We can take him to Rivet City! They can fix him! They have androids there!"

I yell to my mother, even though she's right in front of me.

"The only thing we can do, is take him home, and hope for the best in the meantime."

"You're going to bury him, mom. You're going to take him away."

My father looks at her, at me, as I cling to Cain still.

"He will not decay as humans do. We can…perhaps, let him lay in Megaton, in his room, and see if time possesses any change."

Dad says, and I nod.

"Please. There's time."

"I can do, that much for you, Dizzy."

My father tells me, bending down to pick up Cain. Mom offers her hand to help me up, and I accept it. Wiping my face as I stand, I feel my heart beating and hurting all at once. If there's any hope, any chance, I'll take it. I can't lose him. I don't know what I would do, without him. Without the man, that I always wanted to be next to.


	40. Chapter 40

(Charon)

As my family and I walk back to Megaton, I explain to Dizzy the findings that Dr. Barrows brought to me. She listens, with silent tears falling down her face. Dezbe holds her hand, but, I can tell it brings her little comfort. If her eyes are not set ahead, they are on Cain. I wanted, to protect my children from this. Wanted to keep them in Megaton, so that this very situation could have all been avoided. I never intended, to allow them to feel even a fraction of what Dezbe and I did. I feel, as if I have failed them.

Cain's body is lighter, than what I would expect. I glance down at him, in breaks between explanations and silence. I can hear the whirring, that everyone knows is present, but does not wish to speak of. I can hear it, just as loud as if he was talking to me. His lightness, the mechanical noises…they do not point towards hope. My daughter cries for him, and as a parent, knowing there is nothing I can do, kills me inside.

"Charon?"

I look over at Dezbe. Dizzy walks with her head down, and face as hard as stone. Her eyes concentrated on her feet. I know that look, because I have had it upon my own face. She is planning. What she is planning, I cannot begin to imagine. Dezbe and I are invisible to her right now.

"Yeah?"

Dezbe aches, too. Although she did not birth Cain, she loved him just the same. Loved and cared for him, as her own firstborn son. To Dezbe, losing Cain, is the same as losing a child. I share her outlook on that. Inside, I am hurting, too. But, I have a family to be strong for. A daughter, my only daughter, to support and pillar. A woman, wife in all but law, to hold close and comfort when the sun sets. Myself, is comforted, by being there for them.

"Do you remember, how when I began to…when things got hard, and you lost yourself…do you remember that?"

"That is many instances."

"I can't pinpoint the one. But I was in an underground tunnel. I told myself, I wasn't with you, that I had been through it all. And still there were things I hadn't felt. But, each hardship, made me stronger. Made us stronger. I think, this is one of those times, moments that will bring us down. But, it'll…it'll make us strong."

"Or tear us apart. The Capital Wasteland, is not a place, for our children."  
"He's not your son."

Dizzy says, and Dezbe and I look at her in shock.

"He's not. He's not your son."

"Dizzy, it doesn't mean we don't love him like one."

"He's not yours! He's…he's…"

"He is yours, Dizzy. He is his own person, and he is every part yours."

I tell her, knowing where she is coming from. Knowing what she needs to hear, what she is saying. Dezbe looks at me, and we share a knowing look. She is not offended by Dizzy's outbursts, and like me, understands. Dezbe and I have suffered enough, to have such empathy. To have such conviction, and knowing for our children. Our child, Dizzy.

"…If he wakes up, I won't leave him again. Even if we fight, and I want to run away. I won't. Because…I don't ever want to feel this way again."

She reminds me so much of her mother. But her tone, the looks, the ruthlessness she has no idea she is capable of, are all from me. Dizzy has not experienced the Capital Wasteland to the full extent yet. She has yet to be placed in such a life-or-death situation, and let the strength I passed on to her come out. Her tactics, her way of making plans last minute, even her skills of manipulation, are a stronger version of both Dezbe and myself. Dizzy simply has no idea, the power she possesses. The strength, and determination, she is capable of. Yet, despite all these positive traits, I worry. She is emotional like her mother. I worry, because I do not wish to lose both of my children. There is no doubt in my mind, that Dizzy will act impulsively, out of pain, if Cain cannot be saved. The future, does not look bright.

When we arrive home, I bring Cain to his room, and lie him on his bed. All of us are tired, and want to rest, but there is no time for it. Dizzy busies herself, unlacing his boots and taking them off while Dezbe and I watch.

"In case he wakes up."

She tells us, monotone and blank. We decide to leave her be, beside Cain, where she should be. Dezbe and I close the door behind us, and head downstairs.

"What do we do now, Charon?"

I sigh, and light a cigarette, and Dezbe and I come to the kitchen. We turn on the lights, it is late at night. The papers Barrows brought to us, lie still on the table.

"We read what we can, and hope to find something."

"And what if we don't find anything?"

"Then we give it three days."

"And after that?"

I exhale smoke, as the events in my mind take a turn for the worst. Seeing Dezbe, and Dizzy, cry and mourn as they will…angers me. Yet I have no one to be angry at. For the first time, there is no rightful blame to place. This happened, because of unknown information, and miscommunication. There is no enemy, only ourselves.

"…There is nothing, after that, Dezbe. Only…"

I cannot finish my sentence, as I look into her eyes. Those deep, brown and sorrowful eyes. I cannot tell her that…we will have to bury Cain. I will have to dig the grave, and place his body inside of it. Cover him, with the soft soil of Megaton, and hope, that my family can recover from it.

"She won't…she won't recover from this, Charon. He's…her first love."

"I know, Dez."

"I'm scared, Charon."

Dezbe steps into my arms as I put out my cigarette. I entangle my fingers into her hair, and hold her close.

"I am, too."

Kissing the top of her head, I know there is no more comfort I can offer. There is nothing more I can do for my family, except find a solution.

"Let's read."

I say to her, and she steps away from my arms. Nodding, Dezbe walks over to the table and sits down. I follow her, as we begin to pour ourselves into the yellowed papers and files.

"If all else fails, tomorrow we will bring Gob and Barrows here."

Barrows is still in Megaton. He said he would stay with Gob until Cain and Dizzy returned, in case they had any questions. I glance up from a piece of paper with diagrams of Cain's design.

"Why? Charon what good would a doctor do? Cain…human as he acts, bleeds, and is, he isn't."

"No, but he is a man. And Gob is a machinist. He can help."

"Gob doesn't even know about Cain, Charon."

"Then I feel we should tell them. A doctor, and a machinist, can accomplish great things together."

"It's worth a shot. I just don't want to give Dizzy false hope. She's hurting enough as it is."

"I'm aware, Dezbe, but we have to try."

Shuffling through papers, I separate the diagrams and text into two different piles. Gob may need the diagrams, and Dezbe watches me.

"You're hell-bent on helping this family, aren't you?"

I look over at her, the stress apparent in her still youthful face.

"Of course. You are my family."

"So when does it stop? You've protected and provided for us, our entire lives. For me, even longer."

"It never stops, Dezbe. Even when I am gone, it will continue on. It is what a family does."

"…I never knew, what it was families were supposed to do. There was always something more important."

"Now, you are my priority. The children, are second. It is cruel of me to say, and I understand that. But, it is simply how I feel."

"Given the choice, who would live, me or Dizzy?"

"Both."

"Charon you can't pick both, and I want Dizzy to live."

"Both, because I have done the impossible before to save you. I can do it again, to save my family."

She smiles at me, and reaches over. Her hand rests on mine. Even after so many years, when I look at her, I wonder how such a beautiful being can still love a monster like me. I am not a monster inside, but I know outwardly, I look like one.

"Even if you can't save Cain, it warms me, knowing you're trying so hard. I love you, Charon."  
"I love you, too. My daughter asked me to do the impossible. It is going to take a while."

"You're planning, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

Dezbe sits back in her chair, and starts to sift through the papers. I go back to reading the one in my hand. She has a precarious smirk on her face. One that tells me she knows the inner workings of my mind, more than she lets on. Dezbe is a smart woman, and she knows that I will exhaust every idea in my mind, before admitting defeat. That, and the love that I hold for my family, is what makes her smile.


	41. Chapter 41

(Dizzy)

He doesn't move. Or talk. Or even twitch. I can't tell if he's breathing, but I don't think he is. I don't think he has to. In my head, I tell myself he's in some sort of failsafe mode. You know, like if a terminal crashes it'll still back up important data and isolate things before you're ready to fix it. Or, something like that. Because the fact that Cain is a machine, and reminding myself of that small detail, is enough to give me hope. I don't care if it's false hope or not. I don't believe in false hope, because it's still hope.

Curling up next to him on the bed, I try to close my eyes and sleep. But it doesn't work. My body is tired, and my mind is drained, but still, I can't sleep. So long as Cain is like this, sleep is going to be near impossible. Outside, the late-night noises of Megaton echo. Some people leaving the saloon and Brass Lantern laugh loudly. I want to laugh, too. I want to share in their joy. But, not without Cain. Putting my arm around him, I bury my face in the crook of his neck. He's a bit muddy, and there's dried blood on him, but there's nothing I can really do about that.

"Dizzy?"

I hear my mom's voice as the door opens. Picking myself up, I rub my eyes. Tired, sleepy, I just want Cain to wake up, so he can hold me while I sleep.

"What're you doing?"

She asks, sitting down on the end of Cain's bed. She's hurting, too, and I feel bad for saying Cain isn't her son. I was angry, and wanted to justify and remind them I wasn't a freak for loving him. I think, mom and dad, understand.

"I was laying down. Maybe, if I went to sleep, I could wake up, and he'd be awake, too."

Mom smiles a bit at me, and we look at Cain.

"Hey, mom?"

I say, not taking my eyes off of Cain.

"Yes?"

"…Have you ever fallen in love with someone, you weren't supposed to?"

"Yes, I did."

"What happened?"

"Well. It turned out, to be quite the adventure."

"Does dad know about him?"

"Your father, is him."

I give her a confused look, as my hand finds Cain's.

"There is prejudice, between ghouls and humans. You weren't raised that way, with your father being a ghoul, and you and I carrying the gene. But, there is. People hated seeing me love your father. They hated even more, when he would protect me. No one, could touch me back then. Even now, the safest place I could ever be, is close to your father."

"He's stronger than you tell me, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. He is…a special man. Like Cain."

"So why…why can't he bring him back?"

"Believe when I tell you, Dizzy, he's doing all he can."

Tears well in my eyes, as I stare at mom. I only know a summary of their life and adventures together. For the first time in my life, I realize mom and dad went through everything together. They went to hell and back, and their love survived it. I'm a product, of that love. Mom and dad, are two of the strongest people in the world. Together, I don't think, there's anything they can't do.

"So…where do I fit, mom? If dad is all yours, where am I?"

"Between us. Where it's doubly safe."

She looks at my hand, as I clutch Cain's. A small, soft smile grows on her face, and she looks back at me. The mobile plane above Cain's bed makes shadows in the room.

"But, now I think you know, beside Cain, is the safest you could ever be. For the times when your father and I can't be there."

"Cain is strong, like dad?"

"He was built, to be better, Dizzy."

"No one is stronger than dad."

"Maybe not, but Cain and him, are equal in a lot of things. Your father has much more extensive training, so he would win in a fight. But, for you, Cain is fitting."

"I don't want him to die, mom."

"I know, honey. I know."

She leans over and hugs me. I don't let go of Cain's hand, but I lean into mom, and let her try and comfort me. My silent tears, turn to silent sobs, and mom holds me tighter.

"No matter what happens, everything will be okay."

Mom says, and I close my eyes tight.

"How do you know?"

"Because I've been there, Dizzy. Everything, will be alright."

My hand still squeezes Cain's, and still holds on, even when mom lets go. Yawning, I lie down, and press myself against him.

"He doesn't have a heartbeat, mom."

"…We're trying, Dizzy."

"What can I do?"

"Be near him. Maybe, that could be what saves him. He may not have a beating heart, but it doesn't mean he's gone."

"Because he's…part machine?"

"Yes. So, even if it isn't true, hold on to that fact, Dizzy. I don't want to see you give up on him too soon, before your father and I can try everything."

"I won't give up, mom, no matter what."

Mom's hand smoothes over my cheek, and she gives me a knowing look. There's tears in mom's eyes, and I don't know why. I don't. I wish she wouldn't cry. I wish she wouldn't be sad. It'll all be okay, so why is mom crying? Why…why can't things, be just like they were a few nights ago? Why all of a sudden, did things have to change?

She ends up leaving after a few short minutes. I'm sort of relieved to watch her go, because I don't like seeing her cry. She's mom, you know? She isn't supposed to feel that way. She's supposed to be strong, brave, and courageous. Looking down at Cain, I know I'm responsible for all of this. It's guilt and worry, that prevents me from sleeping. If I just stayed, and went back with him, then none of this would have happened. But I didn't. I ran away, because I guess…I wanted to prove I could get home okay without him. That I was brave and strong on my own, just like him. Cain…has always been so brave. At least, to me. To my impressionable younger self, Cain was…everything. Next to dad, anyways. Mom was my playmate, and nurturer. Dad was my adventure and educator. Cain, was and is, my protector. The person, who would be first to sacrifice himself, if it meant to save me. I know dad would think, hesitate, and look at mom. It's okay with me, because I understand. I don't know how, I just do. But Cain, like dad said, is every bit mine.

His face has cuts all over it. He doesn't bleed anymore. I'll face the devil in my sleep, if I have to, to save Cain. He was, the only one, who believed in me when nobody else did. When I pushed my parents away, Cain was still there. Sometimes, the weak, like me, can become the strong. Cain knew that, and he…he kept pushing me. I never had the right things to say to him, to make everything okay. To make the bad things go away. Now, it seems, when I can't say them, they're all I can say.

"I'll give you a million caps, if you wake up for me. I'll give you more than that, you know. I'll give you everything. Even me, if you still want me. But you have to have me, now. If…if you wake up."

I never felt independence before. I always felt like I was an extension of my mom and dad. Like an arm and a leg. But, now, sitting here, I realize that's not the case. It's my life. My voice. My choice. And I can be with whom I choose to be with. Maybe if I realized that sooner, we wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe if Cain knew that sooner, he wouldn't have pushed me away when things became heavy. He, too, could have chosen to accept his emotions, be whatever they may be. We have this whole world, and granted we can't survive very well, the world is still there, and ours for the taking.

I lay beside him, and hold his arm against me. Tears stain the pillow, as sleep becomes too powerful for me to fight. Rain lightly patters against the steel house, and I remember when I was little, I would get scared of it. The thunder, the lightning, and I would crawl in bed with Cain. It feels like, I'm that little kid again.


	42. Chapter 42

(Charon)

I wake with my head against the table in the kitchen. Papers stick to the side of my face, as I pick myself up. Blinking, I wipe sleep from my eyes. Exhaustion must have gotten the best of me, because I have no idea when I fell asleep. Across from me, Dezbe also sleeps. Sun shining in, tells me that it is morning, and I know there is business to attend to.

Wasting no time, I rise and leave my home. It is still early, and the sun is low in the sky. Still, this cannot wait. Gob is needed, and I know Barrows is staying with him and Zack. I am still tired, and not highly alert. It does not matter. Right now, I can think of only one thing. I cannot let Dizzy down. Let Dezbe down. I cannot fail my family, and allow Cain to remain in a suspended state of sleep. That is how I've come to coping with it. By wrongly convincing myself, he is only in a stasis, and not truly dead. Truth be told, I do not know if he is alive, or not. The whirring we hear near him could be an indicator of a failsafe system, or a system failure. But I cannot let my daughter down. It kills me inside, to see her cry. She is my flesh and blood. The product of the love Dezbe and I have for one another. To know, I couldn't measure up to her standards of 'daddy can do no wrong' hurts more than I could have ever imagined.

I knock loudly on Gob's door, stifling a yawn and lighting a cigarette. The nicotine helps my body waken, if not impairs it a bit. The first cigarette of the day is always the hardest. It makes me lightheaded, disoriented, dizzy. As I stare at the sign above Gob's shop, he opens the door. I look down at him, and know like me, he has just woken up.

"What is it this early? Wait…are the kids alright?"

Gob's alert when he mentions the children. I take a drag of my cigarette, and sigh.

"I need your help, and I need Barrows. It is important, and immediate."

"Charon what's wrong? Everything okay?"

"Wake Barrows and bring Zack for all I care. I need you at the house."

He invites me in without further questioning. He notices the tone I use, and understands. I don't have to wait long, in the lobby of his shop, before Zack and Barrows come downstairs, followed by Gob. Barrows, knowing more about Cain than either of them, senses something is amiss.

"What went wrong?"

Barrows gruffs, and I put my cigarette out.

"Cain needs your help. A doctor, and a mechanic."

"A mechanic? Charon what the hell would you need a mechanic for if you need a doctor?"

Gob asks, as I try to rush them from the house. Eventually, I succeed, and they begin to follow me down the steel ramp and towards the hill of my house. The grass is wet beneath my boots, and I shake my head.

"Because you can rebuild and repair things, Gob."

"Yeah but, this has to do with Cain."

"And he may need rebuilding."

There's a silence, and I realize…the person I have raised and loved as a son his entire life, may most certainly be dead. The feeling of dread looms over me, as the sun vanishes behind a dark storm cloud. Barrows takes over the conversation, as I get lost within my own mind.

"Cain is…a highly evolved android. Putting it mildly, Gob."

"What? What? What the hell are you talkin' about? What?"

"Precisely what he says, Gob. Cain is an android. The short version, is that he was created by the people who trained me. Human organs, created by machines and programming, to create a person."

I tell him as we near my home. He's still trying to wrap his mind around it, while I grow impatient with details.

"Charon, why didn't you tell me? I…I don't even know what to say…Does Dezbe know? Dizzy?"

"They know, Gob. Understand, Cain is a man in his blood, organs, emotions and mind. But a machine made him. A machine runs him. His cells, instead, are programs, putting it mildly."

"I can't believe this…"  
"And I need you to help him."

Gob can't wrap his mind around it. I lost my calm for a minute, and turn to face them.  
"He needs Barrows to study him, and he needs you, Gob, to rebuild him if you can. I will not let my wife and daughter mourn if there if a chance to save him. If there is any possible solution to cure him, goddamnit I'm going to take it. I refuse to let my daughter, know what it feels like, to lose the one you love."

I tell Gob, and his face falls. He tries to connect the dots, as we stand outside my home. Silently, his mind works, and he looks at me.

"…I knew there was more to them, than they let on. Fuck. Of course I'll help you. I don't…want to see Dez or Dizzy sad, either. But you have to tell me why he won't wake up."

Barrows and I go into an explanation so Gob can understand, and Zack can know. If there's any extra knowledge he picked up in the Wasteland, and can use, it's best he knows the back story. They seem to follow, as we explain the chemical coding, binding Cain to Dizzy until one dies. Gob doesn't pass judgment, on Cain and Dizzy for their close relationship. Gob cares too much about them, to be angry or prejudiced about it. In reality, there is no real reason to be angry with them. Had they perhaps, been true siblings it would then be upsetting. But they're not, and Gob knows this. It eases the shock. It makes everything easier to swallow.

"I'll do what I can, Charon, but I'm no android builder. If I can't do anything, then promise me something?"

"What?"

I ask, as I open the door to my home, where Dezbe still sleeps.

"That you'll take him to Rivet City with Barrows. There are people there, who can fix him, if we can't."

"That was going to be my next move."

And it was. If Gob and Barrows could do nothing, I would take Cain to Rivet City. Because as long as that whirring is present, there is hope.

"I'm going to need some papers…"

Barrows says as he makes his way to the table, ignoring Dezbe, who soon wakes.

"Charon…what…what's going on?"

"Exactly what I told you would happen last night."

She looks at Gob, Zack, and Barrows. Nodding, Dezbe sits up so Barrows can look at the papers beneath her resting head. When he compiles a small pile of them, he nods at me.

"Where is he?"

I point upstairs, and lead them. As we reach Cain's bedroom, I knock the door lightly.

"Dizzy? Dizzy I'm coming in."

Inside, Dizzy sleeps. She has herself wrapped around Cain, and in her sleep, tears fall from her eyes. I squeeze the doorknob, as I see my daughter clinging to Cain, crying, and even in her sleep, hoping for a miracle. Hoping for something that…perhaps, may not come true.

"Dizzy."

I walk towards her, and shake her gently. She moans, but gives no protest to opening her eyes.

"Daddy…"

Reaching up, her arms warp around my shoulders. I hug her back, as she buries her face in my neck.

"I had...a dream but…it wasn't a dream, was it?"

"No, Dizzy. It wasn't."

Her grip around me tightens, and I hold back tears. I hate, to see her in this pain. I wanted to protect her from this. I wanted her, to never have to feel this way. It's my failure.

"Barrows and Gob are here to help, Dizzy. They're going to do everything they can."

Gob and Barrows murmur behind me, and I hear the shuffling of papers.  
"I want to stay with you, dad."

I nod, and lift her up with ease. She grips my shoulders like she would as a child, and hides herself in my neck. In her mind, she is a child right now. I don't wish to treat her like one, but my instincts tell me, she needs it. She needs the gentleness and sensitivity one would give to a child.

"Alright."

Moving her as she holds me, I sit down at the end of the bed, making room for Barrows and Gob to do what they can. The first thing Barrows does is check Cain for eye stimulation. Opening his eyelids with his fingers, he looks to see if his pupils dilate or have any reaction to light.

He shakes his head, as he lets go of Cain's eyelids. I make sure Dizzy isn't watching as I hold her. She's smart, and would know…that…hope doesn't shine as brightly as it does, in the stories I would tell her, of princesses and princes. Gob looks over the papers Barrows gave him, his eyebrows furrowing, while Zack sits in the background, silent. Rain soon sprinkles the window, as Barrows checks for pulse, heartbeat, and other signs of life.

"…Nothing."

He shakes his head, letting Cain's wrist fall. I feel Dizzy move her tired head, and quickly start to stroke her hair. She can hear, but perhaps, I can keep her from seeing the hopeless looks.

"I want to see, dad."

"No, you don't."

With Gob's help, they remove Cain's wet and dirty jacket and shirt. The cuts that he suffered from…from something, illuminate his body. Looking at him, reminds me of myself. Not because he is what I would look like, but because he is just as scarred.

"Here, look."

Gob says, pointing to something on the piece of paper in his hand. Barrows looks at it, and they read it over.

"Hm…perhaps."

"Perhaps what?"

I ask them, eager for any shred of good news.

"Perhaps…no see here, that wouldn't work."

Any shred of good news is broken by the logic and common sense of Barrows. A small detail, overlooked by Gob. Dizzy pries herself from me, and turns around. She sees Cain, shirtless, wounded, laying there with no response to life. Her expression is blank, as she shakes her head.

"…Just admit there's no bringing him back."  
"Dizzy, they just got here."

I argue, but she looks at me, with tears in her bloodshot eyes.

"It doesn't matter! There's no bringing him back! You're just trying to…trying to drag it out so me and mom don't feel this way! He's not coming back, dad! I've accepted it, so why can't you?"

I stare at her, at my daughter, as she bares her teeth in frustration and looks at me in sadness and anger. I remain calm, although seeing her like this, is agony.

"Because you have not accepted it, either, Dizzy."

"Yes I have!"

"Then why do you still cry?"

"Because! Because…because…"

She looks at Cain, and before I can stop her, jumps on him. She brings her hand down on his face, open, and the impact shatters my ears.

"Wake _up_! Goddamn it I _need_ you! I need you, you stupid fuck! We're not supposed to be like mom and dad! You're never supposed to leave me! You're never supposed to leave! Wake up…wake up…wake up…"

She hits him, sobbing, until I can pull her off of him. Until Gob, Barrows, Zack, and myself can subdue her. She struggles and fights us, every step of the way. She gnashes her teeth, scratches, kicks, punches, and even bit my gloved hand. Her anger makes her stronger, and her conviction drives her. When we finally pry her away, and push her into a corner, the whirring of Cain's mechanical mind silences her, and she looks at him, with tears pouring down her face.

"…wake up…wake up…wake up…"

"Dizzy! Dizzy! Calm down!"

Zack yells, and she looks at him.

"I know! I know it hurts! I know you're angry but calm down! I know what it feels like…so…calm down…please."

Dizzy listens to Zack, we all do, and release Dizzy. She falls to the floor, a defeated pile of flesh and bone. I have to leave the room. I cannot…bear to see her in such distress.


	43. Chapter 43

(Zack)

I know what she's feeling. That pain, that's so far inside, nothing in the whole world can cure it. It burns inside of you, makes you cry of anger, cry of rage, makes you want to burn everything in the world, because it hurt you so badly. She looks up at me, like she once did when she was a child. Begging to know the secrets of the world, begging and pleading silently, for everything to be okay. Dad, Barrows…they watch me. I hear my uncle leave the room, and I know why he did. Nobody else noticed, how much it hurt him, to see Dizzy in so much pain. He doesn't want to show her his sadness. He left, to hide his emotions, so she can always think, he's the strongest person in the world. But, even the strongest person in the world, needs to cry. Even they, feel frightened, alone, and sad. Charon is afraid for his family, he feels alone, and like a failure, because in his head, he could have prevented this. Over the years, there's a lot you can learn about people, by watching them.

"I know, Dizzy, I know. And it's hard, and you don't want to accept anything, I know. But if you interrupt, then there's really no hope of anyone finding anything. Instead, if you want to walk with me, we can give my dad and Dr. Barrows time to find something, anything. At least, there's hope in that."

I offer her my hand, and she pouts at first, but takes it eventually. Wrapping my fingers around hers, I pull her to her feet. Cradling her in my arms, like I'm going to protect her from the rain and the sun, I lead her from the room. Dizzy says nothing, while I shield her from looking at Cain, from seeing her father cry against her mother, from seeing everything that is sad in the world all at once.

When we get outside, I feel one of her small hands grip the inside of my shirt. Looking down at her, as the rain is quick to drench us, I see her bottom lip quiver. She wants a distraction, any distraction. She wants to pretend, that this is all a bad dream.

"Did you know that your mother saved my life?"

It's a conversation to keep her mind off of Cain. Off of the pain. I start to lead her around Megaton. With the rain, comes the emptiness. People hide in their homes when it rains, and there's not many shops open. But it doesn't matter. It's a warm rain, and there's no harm in walking around in it. Dizzy shakes her head at me, but doesn't say anything.

"She did. I was a baby, so the story was told to me by my dad. Underworld, an old ghoul city, was raided by enemies of your mom. They killed my mom, and took me from her. Dezbe, and Charon, they came and got me. She carried me all the way home, and gave me back to dad safe and sound."

She nods, and I see the story about her parents isn't entertaining. Nor is it really taking her mind off of things. I watch carefully at how she looks at everything around her.

"…My throat hurts."

She says, walking aimlessly beside me. I shrug and look at nothing.

"Probably from yelling."

"I miss my dad…"

"Maybe you should wait, before going home."

"Why?"

"Your dad…might need time."

"Why?"

Persistent girl, isn't she? Her face is serious, and a bit hardened. At seeing pain, Dizzy seems to have matured.

"Dizzy, think about it from his eyes. Charon just saw his daughter screaming, crying, over something he can't fix. Dezbe is destroyed by the loss of a child, and he can't fix that either. Charon, he's always been hell-bent on protecting his family from everything. Imagine the sense of failure he must be feeling."

Quiet for a while, Dizzy seems to take in what I'm telling her.

"…I didn't know, that…about dad. I guess I didn't take the time."

"It's not your fault. We kind of have this image of our parents that we really don't want shattered."

"What about Cain?"

"What about him?"

Her blue eyes look right through me, when she lifts her head. I never noticed how powerful her emotions could be. I almost want to cry, with her.

"Is he ever going to wake up?"

Running my fingers through my wet hair, I shake my head, and then shrug.

"I got a glimpse of the papers dad and Barrows were looking at. Cain can't really, technically die. He's…well a highly advanced android, in all sense. So…he's more in a suspended sleep-mode. Like broken terminals go into. Eventually you can repair them, but…"

"But they'll never work like they did."

"…Yeah. I mean, I could have overlooked something, since I only glanced at them, but, if there's a way to help, dad will find it."

"Not Barrows?"

"Nah, he's too detached. Dad, on the other hand, won't really give up until he's helped in some way. He'll tinker and study until he finds something."

Dizzy nods, and looks at her feet.

"I want my Cain back. Not some deleted file. Not some machine. _My_ Cain. The person. The real person."

"He's a person, Dizzy. It's just ah…well, think of it this way. He's a human, built by a machine, following?"

She nods as we stop walking so I can help clear her mind.

"And because he was made by machine, it gives him mechanical qualities that he probably doesn't know of. A system integrated within him, at the time of creation. So, he is man, but with a mechanical undertone."

"And if he wakes up?"

"His mind, brain, isn't a terminal. It's a human mind. It'll…be alright, I hope."

We start to walk again. We have no real destination, and don't know where we'll end up in Megaton. I just want to keep her away long enough to give them time. Time to figure something out, or come to a final conclusion. I don't know if my analysis on Cain was right, only that it helped to soothe Dizzy. With Charon's genes, I'm a bit scared to see what would happen if she flips out again.

In the rain, we light cigarettes, as we stand under the ramps that lead up towards the old saloon and other homes that outline the perimeter of the crater. Since the walls are down, Megaton is basically where any of the grass grows, and for the most part, it's a fairly large settlement. Together, we quietly smoke, as the wind takes the smoke from our mouths. I don't think I ever recall Dizzy being so quiet, and subdued. Her eyes are glazed over and bloodshot from crying, and from disbelief.

"If Cain never wakes up, I don't know what I'll do."

I look at her, her black and wet hair matted against her face. In the rain that drips down between the cracks, I can't really tell if she's crying or not. I want to help her, somehow, but I can't even begin to figure out how.

"I know, Dizzy."

Turning her head, Dizzy looks up at me.

"I want to go home, Zack. I want to be there, with him. Being away from him caused this. I don't want to do any more damage."

I can't not agree with her. We toss out our cigarettes, and begin walking across Megaton. Dizzy is right, but, I feel she needs to stay away for a bit. Just to let everyone collect themselves. I don't know if our stroll was enough time. I'm worried about her, very worried. She grew up beside me, as did Cain, and I have a sense of family around them. Them, Charon and Dezbe, and dad. As if we're this totally dysfunctional and fucked family. But, we're a family, and that…means the world to me. I'm bothered by all of this, too. But, someone has to keep a cool head. If uncle Charon can't, I can at least, try.


	44. Chapter 44

(Dizzy)

In my head, there is a place. A place that exists, because it is in my head. There's really nothing of importance in this place, and it lacks a lot of detail. But Cain is there, and I'm there, and in my place, that's all that matters. Because Cain and I are there, and we're happy together, and there's nothing wrong with anything whatsoever. And in that world…in that world, anyone can come in if they want. They can walk right in, and they'll be happy forever.

When Zack and I get back home, mom is sitting in the living room by herself. She sees me, and I know instantly she's been crying. She's smoking cigarette after cigarette, the ashtray in front of her slowly filling. I want to comfort her, but I don't know how.

"They're all still upstairs."

Mom's already coarse voice, is even worse. From the crying. From the smoking. There's never been this much sadness in my house before.

"Is there any news?"

Eager, and hopeful, I ask. But mom slowly shakes her head, sadness inside her. She puts out the cigarette in her hand, and instantly lights another one. I don't want to look at her, because of how much it bothers me. So pushing it way deep down, I put on the strongest face I have, and climb up the stairs.

Each step is harder than the last, and I can feel my heart beating with each and every climb. When I finally get to Cain's bedroom, I hear the whispering talks of dad, Gob, and Barrows. Zack is still downstairs, talking to mom, and trying to help. I don't knock, before I open the door.

"…I miss dad."

I say, and everyone looks at me. I notice a machine is on Cain's arm, and I look directly at my dad.

"Your mother's Pip-Boy. To help us determine…his status."

I don't ask, and walk over towards them. Instead of standing and getting in the way, I walk around everyone. Climbing on the other side of the bed, I watch. They look at the Pip-Boy, and it makes a noise.

"…He's…he's not dead."

Dad says, with more relief than anything.

"He isn't? Dad? Daddy?"

He looks at me, and nods.

"No…no he's…it's not reading what's wrong, but, he's alive."

"As alive as one can be for his state."

Gob says, staring at the screen. I don't know what they're looking at, and even if I did I wouldn't know how to read it. But together, they determine Cain is in some sort of coma. How to get him out is the real challenge. But I don't hear their words, I'm too busy, feeling the sadness dripping away.

"But it's temporary. If we don't figure it out, the failsafe mechanism keeping him alive will wear out. The whirring we're hearing, tells us he's alive. That there's brainwave functions. That's about as far as we've gotten. When the whirring dies…Cain will, too."

Gob tells nobody in particular. He's just kind of talking to himself, really. I put my hand on Cain's bare arm, and rub him up and down. Because he feels so cold to the touch. His eyes are closed like he's sleeping, and the cuts all over him aren't healing.

"Dad…let me go to Rivet City, please? If I go, I can bring someone back."

"Absolutely not."

"But it'll help Cain!"

"No. Out of the question. You will stay here, where you are safe."

"Why? Dad, why?"

"Because I'm not losing another child!"

His anger and loudness surprise me, but it gets the point across. I nod, obedient, as he stares at me menacingly. Dad is really worried, and upset, like Zack said. I guess I really didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to see dad as a person, but instead the hero he's always been in my mind.

"…there has to be something, I can do, to help."

My voice goes unnoticed, as I stare at Cain. Dad use to tell me stories. About princesses, and princes. I don't know what they are, but the stories made me smile. Most of the time, it was a kiss that would wake the princess or something like that. I know it won't work, but I give it a shot.

Kissing Cain's cold lips, I wish and hope with everything in me that it works. But when I open my eyes, nothings changed. Everything is as it was, except everyone is staring at me.

"It worked in the stories. Right, dad?"

"…Yeah, in the stories."

Something beeps, and everyone looks at the Pip-Boy thingy.

"Huh. Dizzy, you might have done some good there."

Barrows says, and I feel my heart begin to race.

"Magic?"

"No, no not magic. Science. Chemical bonds…saliva…no that wouldn't work. There was a jump in the readings, but, that's it. If the chemical bond could wake him, it wouldn't be prejudiced. Be it saliva, or tears, he would have woken. Dizzy has been with him since returning?"

Barrows asks, and I nod even though his question isn't directed at me.

"Right, then, tears would have done something. It's a chemical."

It doesn't look, like there's any hope left to have. Everyone tries different things. Barrows takes his blood, even though he can't find any at first. Gob tries everything from small electrical currents, to suggesting we try and connect him to a terminal. In the end, everything is the same as it was this morning, and everyone feels defeated.

"…If you want, Dizzy, I will bring him to Rivet City."

Dad says, while everyone starts to leave. I look at dad, my hand still on Cain's bare arm.

"Why is it up to me?"

"Because you love him."

Looking down, I nod. I love Cain. I do.

"…Not right now. It's too much. I know time isn't on our side, but, as long as he whirrs then…"

"Then there is time."

"Yeah."

Dad hugs me, and goes downstairs. I've kept calm and quiet all day, since coming back from my walk with Zack. But now, I don't think I can hold it in any more. I didn't even know it was possible, to cry this much, in such a short time.

"I love you…I love you…I love you…"

I say, quiet, crying. My face buries into Cain's chest. I thought, that when you're in love, nothing could go wrong. But it's not true. When you're in love, everything can go wrong. All at once, in a split second.

"…Please…anything, I'll give anything, if you just come back. If you just wake up."

But he doesn't. He just lays there, and after a while, the only thing I can really do is lay with him.


	45. Chapter 45

Dad's loud voice wakes me up from my nap. It jolts me, and I sit up, looking around as he slams open the door to Cain's room.

"We have to move, now."

"What? What's going on?"

Sleep is still present in my mind, and everything is really foggy. Mom appears next to him, and she reaches for my arm.

"We have to _go_, Dizzy!"

She yells, pulling me off of the bed. I can't feel my legs just yet, but I stand, and try to pull myself from her grip.

"Mom, wait! Wait! What's going on?"

"There isn't time, we have to go!"

Dad pushes me while mom pulls, and I struggle.

"Wait! Wait! What's going on? Let me go!"

I'm able to get out of mom's hold, but dad catches me as I try to run back up the stairs. He's far stronger than mom, and hoists me over his shoulder. No amount of punching or kicking will make him put me down, I know this from being a kid.

"Are you ready?"

Dad says to someone in front of him.

"Let's go, there ain't time."

It's Gob. Gob's here, so that means Zack is here, but why.  
"Dad what the _hell_ is going on?"

"A storm, Dizzy. A very big, and violent storm. The house may not hold up, and we have to get to shelter."

A storm? Since when does the Capital Wasteland have storms? Especially ones people are afraid of?  
"Wait! Wait what about Cain?"

"We can't bring him, we have to go!"

Dad yells, as he puts me down and ushers Gob and Zack and mom out the door. I know this is serious, and I know I should obey, but it's Cain. I can't leave him behind. Then again, I can't really stand up to my dad when he's like this. It's all business with him, so a bit scared, I listen. If I don't, I know the consequences are going to be dire.

Stepping outside, I know instantly what dad means, by not having time. By the storm being scary and dangerous. Winds whip against my face, and mud gets sprayed on my face. I use my arm to protect my eyes, but it doesn't help. I can hardly walk, with the wind pushing against me.

"Dad! Dad!"

I yell, knowing mom is up ahead with Gob and Zack. Feeling dad's arm around my waist, I feel my feet leave the ground, as he carries me through the strong winds.

"Hold tightly!"

We have to yell because the noise out here is so loud. Metallic bangs tell me things around Megaton are falling. Pressing my face against dad's armor, I open my eyes a bit, and see a bolt of lightning light up the sky. More bangs, as more things fall down and hit the ground.

"What about Cain!"

I yell, holding fast to my dad's armor as the wind picks up. He pushes on, his grip on me, tightening. Up ahead I hear my mother calling for dad. His pace quickens, and soon I feel her hands close to my legs.

"Hold on, both of you!"

Dad tells us, and I look over to see mom holding on to dad's pants. He walks behind Gob and Zack, making sure if they fall, he can pick them up.

"Where're we going? Dad! Dad we have to get Cain!"

"We can't, Dizzy! Put your head down!"

I don't know how dad can walk in these high winds, but somehow he does. Mom said he was a lot stronger than I knew, so I guess this is a display of that.

"Keep going! There's the path!"

Mom yells, and echoing bangs from Megaton and pieces falling to the ground overplay the noise of the wind in my ears. But what about Cain? We can't just leave him there, we can't just walk away. But we are. We're leaving him back there, with the things falling and the high winds. What'll happen to him? Is he going to be okay? I know better than to jump from dad's hold and try to run back. Because there'd be no going back for them. They'd leave me in Megaton to deal with the possible downfall of our house. But would that be so bad? Morbid as it is, would it be so bad to join Cain, and perish beside him?

No, Cain is not going to die. This is just a rare, bad storm. He'll stay there, and the house will be fine, and he'll be fine and then when this passes I can go back to him.

"Hurry! The wind is picking up!"

Dad yells, and I feel a third body press close to us. Picking my head up, I notice dad pushing Gob and Zack up a path with his legs. The dust and mud flying everywhere makes my vision hazy and blurry. I don't think I could see an arm's length away, even if I tried. But here dad is, pushing a group of people, with nobody helping him. He's just moving up and on. I hide my head, as more wind starts to hit us.

It seems like forever, before the wind stops hitting me, before the rocks stop smacking against my arms, and the noise is silenced. When I realize it's safe, I pick my head up as I feel dad putting me back down.

"Dad? Mom?"

I say, as they look at me. We're in a dark place, and the smell of earth is all around.

"It's alright, Dizzy. Just stand still."

My eyes aren't adjusted, and I frantically feel for someone, anyone. Eventually I find Gob, and cling to his arm.

"It's alright, Diz. Just relax."

Gob says, and I hold his arm tighter.

"Where are we? What about Cain? Dad you have to go back and get him!"

"I can't, Dizzy. It's too dangerous out there right now."

There's a sad undertone in his voice. I try my best not to think of it right now. Try my best to think that everything will be okay. Squeezing Gob's arm, I push down all the turmoil, and I hold back from running back to Megaton. Even though I know I would probably get lost, and then get hurt in the wind.

"Alright, done. Everyone ready?"

No one says anything, and in the dark I try to find mom. She mutters something, so I know she's ahead of me, and soon I hear a loud noise. Like air leaking out of something. It isn't long after, that light floods where we are. Turns out, we're in a cave. A man-made one, because it's really circular. In front of me, a giant gear turns and makes an opening, to something brightly lit.

"…What…?"

Dad looks at me, his face illuminated by the light coming from behind the gear-door.

"This is where your mother is from. Where it will be safe for us, until the storm passes."

"Holy shit Dez…I've never been inside here before…"

"Not many people have, Gob. Not many people leave, either. They might be hostile…"

Mom grabs her gun, but dad grabs her arm.

"You're fifty years old, Dezbe. The citizens you once knew, are probably retired. Their children are in charge, now."

She nods, and frowns.

"Then lets hope we don't have to kill them."

With mom leading the group, dad makes sure I'm in the middle, and well-guarded, as we step into the vault. At least, that's what I think this place is. Both of them said where mom came from was called a vault. I've never been inside one, just heard stories about them. They smell nice, and clean. The lights are bright, but dim enough to sleep in. It's all steel, and our feet tap against the floor. Everything is clean, and everything seems to have a life. Like if the walls could talk, they would tell amazing stories.

"Wow…you lived well here."

Gob says, looking around with as much curiosity as I have.

"We lived sheltered lives here, Gob. It's not all as crisp and clean as you see."

We enter a big room, with other rooms coming off of it. A sign above the door says it's the Atrium.

"We are born in the vault, we live in the vault, and we die in the vault. It was a motto almost everyone lived by. Everyone here, was so brainwashed to thinking that the Overseer was the only voice of reason. I'm not sorry I left. I hated it here. The safety it offers comes with a price."

Mom tells everyone, as her hands touch the walls lightly. I want to think about this place, and about how mom grew up here until she was nineteen. There's posters around, encouraging procreation. Did mom have to read these signs, too? There isn't much time for thought, because a voice from down a long hall booms at us.

"Who are you?"

I jump, and hold dad's hand. He looks down at me, and back ahead. In front of mom is a man in a jumpsuit. He looks about my age, but maybe a bit older. He stares at mom, a pistol in his hand. She takes out her own gun, and dad stays still. I think he knows to let her reason with her own people.

"Are you the new Overseer?"

"I am, but who are you? And how do you know our terminology? You're not from here!"

He raises his pistol, but my mom holsters hers. What? Is she mad? I look at dad, who squeezes my hand to calm me.

"My name is Dezbe. I lived here decades ago, my father's name was James. He was a physician."

"No one has ever left the vault! I'll shoot! Who are you people? What is that?"

The man points the gun at dad, who doesn't seem phased. He looks away, more interested in the interior of the vault, which after a while, seems dull and mundane.

"Amata Almodovar was the last person to leave this place."

"How do you know her?"

Mom knows a lot, and I want to go get Cain. I'm still worried about the gun in the man's hand. And what's an 'Overseer'?

"I'm from the vault, I told you this. There's five of us, and one of you. We've lived on the outside, and your pistol doesn't scare me. If you look in the records, you'll find me. If you don't want to give us shelter until it's safe to us to return home, we'll take it by force."

Mom's words are powerful, and I can tell they scare the man threatening her with his gun. Thinking her words over, the man eventually holsters his pistol. Is everyone here asleep? There's nobody around except him. Everyone seems to breathe a sigh of relief, except dad. He lets go of my hand, and takes his rightful place beside mom. I see them together, and I feel sad.

Before I really know what's going on, though, dad lunges forward, with his knife out. He has the man against the wall, knife to his throat. Mom stands watching, her hands on her hips, and a really childish look on her face.

"Drop the vile."

Dad growls, and something falls from the man's hands. It's a needle, a glass one, and it has something in it. Mom picks it up and puts it in her pocket. She sees me watching, and smirks.

"Your father knows best."

Mom has lost it. Dad has lost it. Gob and Zack don't even bother to stop him. They just look around. Has dad always been this crazy? What was in that vile? How did he even see it? Eventually, after making the man plea for a bit, dad lets him go. Mom walks over and wraps herself against him. Has everyone forgotten about Cain?

"Let's go."

Dad says, pushing the man forward with his shotgun. Mom's still all sorts of into him, and we all follow without argument. The man leads us to a big, bright room. There's an eating place, and two bedrooms. A terminal is in one of the rooms, and mom makes her way towards it.

"Everyone is going to be sealed inside until we leave, but if you're good, my husband here won't kill you. Understand?"

She says, and the man nods as dad gives him a reinforcing smack over the head.

"What about Cain?"

I ask, my voice echoing as the doors around me seal. A sad look goes across mom's face as she clicks and types on the terminal.

"We have to wait. We can't bring him here."

"Why not?"

I ask her, and she looks at dad. He's busy watching the man mom called the 'Overseer' while Gob and Zack busy themselves in another bedroom.

"Because…we will die, if we leave. Cain can't be carried in here. It would risk everyone's safety."

I can't believe mom's words, but I can't fight them, either. Defeated, I sit down in a chair and hang my head. I don't even really know what's happening outside, to my house, to Megaton, or even to Cain. Fighting back tears is hard, but I manage.

"…Can someone just tell me what's going on outside at least?"

Looking over at dad, I see he's taken the pistol from the Overseer man and made sure he has no other weapons. He hands me the pistol, since my gun was left at home, and sits beside me.

"A strong storm. One from pre-war times. It was too dangerous to stay in Megaton. This was our only option."

"…I want to go home. I want to see Cain."

"You will, when the storm passes."


	46. Chapter 46

Dad didn't lie. He was telling the truth, even about the storm. Mom, Gob, Zack, him and me all stand on the outskirts of what was once Megaton. Right now, it looks like a disaster area. People stand, homeless, looking at the wreckage. Some found shelter in other caves, some simply survived outside. But homes, most of them, were reduced to nothing. The signs above Gob's store fell and crushed the ramp leading up to it, and the platforms that resided on stilts caved in. Dr. Church's clinic survived, somehow, and so didn't a few areas within the crater. The ones on the edges of the crater fell in, and demolished themselves. Flat homes and trading areas that housed the vegetables and smaller families received the least amount of damage. Only the large structures suffered. My house, where Cain was, is missing the top half. The kitchen and living room stand, but the upper walls, the sniper perch, everything else, is gone. We all stand in horror, and I wonder…what happens next?

"…Rebuild, restore, and move on."

Dad says, and mom nods. They act like this sort of thing happens all the time. The citizens of Megaton seem unaffected by the destruction, as they begin to move in and start cleaning up the debris. No one cries, no one mourns, they simply continue on. Am I abnormal, for feeling this way?

"But everything is _gone_!"

I tell my parents, and they look at me.

"No, it is repairable."

Dad says, and I stomp my foot.

"And where's Cain? Where is he? Our house is gone! His room is gone!"

He shakes his head, walking past me.

"This is the life out here, Dizzy. Things are destroyed, and things are rebuilt. We cannot waste time in mourning."

"Bullshit! That's bullshit and you know it! Dad! This storm took everything! I know you want to rebuild our home so we can be safe again, but please, dad, please…help me find Cain…"

Mom leaves with Gob and Zack to help them figure out a way to get up to their home. Figure out a way to rebuild the platforms, while I get to sit and stay and deal with dad.

"…There are many bodies, amiss in the debris, Dizzy."

"Help me find him, dad. Please. I…"

"You love him. You love him, and wish with every fiber in your being, that he's somehow okay. But Dizzy, you cannot dwell on it, if he is dead. If he cannot be found. This…this is what your mother and I, have strived to protect you from. Knowing now, we cannot, means we must teach you to move on. Become strong, and hardened. Promise me, if this turns out to be as terrible as it looks, that you will find strength in it."

My whole life, they kept their past from me. They kept their adventures, and struggles, hidden by secrecy and lies. Standing on the edge of where my home is, and watching my dad stare at me, I finally understand why. Looking up, the sky is clear, and blue, and warm. They lied to me, to protect me. To prevent me, from hurting, as they did. To make sure I never felt an ounce of sadness, or anguish, that they did. And somehow, all their efforts to keep it a secret, backfired. I find myself, in the exact place my parents tried to keep hidden from me. Tears form and fall, as I think of finding Cain dead and gone. If not in horrible condition. But I know, my parents must feel such a sense of regret and failure, at letting this happen. They must blame themselves, for letting Cain and I wander off into the unknown. Dad, especially.

Taking a deep breath in, I slowly exhale. A weight, of some sorts, is lifted off of me, and I look my father in the eyes.

"…I will be as strong as I can be, dad. But I have to find him, please. At least, let me say goodbye."

He nods, and offers me his hand. There's no debris on top of Megaton, only inside the crater. Everything fell in there, piles and piles of steel. Dad's hand wraps around mine, as we walk down the unsteady slope to the center. Getting closer, and joining the others in clearing the rubble away, I can feel my heart forcing its way through my chest. Like it wants to burst. Before we can even reach the bottom, mournful cries of the citizens echo out. They're finding the loved ones they left behind. They're mourning, too.

Mom says she can't help, because it's too much. Dad nods, and I nod, and she walks away with Gob and Zack. She's raised Cain as her son, so to her, it's like searching for her dead child. I know it feels the same for dad, too, but dad promised he'd help me. And I don't think, dad wants me to find Cain on my own, either.

Together, we lift steel planks, and move them into a separate pile, away from the center. Other citizens begin to collect random pieces, to help rebuild their homes. The Brahmin that lived here are gone, run away or dead. The vegetables everyone grew are torn up from their roots, and the grass is slick with mud and blood. Every time I lift a new piece, and look down at the ground, I feel relieved and sad. Relieved because Cain's body isn't beneath it, and sad, because we haven't found him yet.

Pausing to wipe sweat from my forehead, I feel dad's hand on my shoulder.

"If he is not here…"

"Then he's somewhere, dad."

Mom's voice drifts up from the top of the crater. She sings a sultry tune, one that dad would often ask her to sing late at night when they were alone in their room. It talks about a king, and a word called 'hallelujah'. Mom's actually a really good singer, and I always liked when she would sing me to sleep. But, when we hear her voice drift down, intentional or not, we feel sad. It makes me feel funny inside, and I don't like it. It makes my insides feel sad, and warm, and hopeful but torn up all at once. Looking at dad as he works to clear away more steel, I can tell that he feels the same way, too.

"Daddy?"

Dad lifts his head, and he looks at me.

"…Did you ever…wait too long, to tell something to mom? And then, realized, you couldn't anymore?"

He stands up straight, and tosses a small piece of steel away.

"Yes. Many times."

"…Did you ever tell her?"

"No. Not everything."

Looking up, dad watches mom sing on top of the crater, smoking a cigarette, while she takes a break from helping repair the ramp ways.

"Why?"

"Because that time in our life is over. We are together now, and there is no need."

"You should tell her anyways. Because…because one day you won't get to. And then, you'll want to."

"My daughter, should not give me advice. I should already know this."

As I start to move more pieces of steel, I hear dad's voice.

"You'll learn soon, love, is not the fairy tale you once believed it to be."

"Then what's it like, dad?"

"Painful. Agonizing. It worries you, hurts you, and yet…I understand, why it is revered and why so many people, have fought over it."

"It's hurtful right now."

"But, before this, you were happy beside Cain."

"…Yeah…I was."

Tears fall, but I ignore them, as we get back to work. My father doesn't say anything, and mom stops her beautiful singing. But the words ring over and over in my head, as I remember Cain and I laughing together. Our childhood. Our recent events. The times we were so close to being intimate and consummating everything. I don't think I'll ever get them back, and there's a million and one things I want to say to him right now. But I know, that I can't.

Absentmindedly, I lift a small and light piece of steel. By chance I glance beneath it, and see a hand.

"Dad!"

I yell, tossing aside the slab in my hand effortlessly. My heart beats and beats and goes faster and faster. I start to push as many pieces as I can away, until I can't anymore. Dad comes to help me lift it, and sees the familiar arm that I've uncovered.

"Dad! Help me! Dad!"

Crying, I try to get a good hold on the plank, and I feel my mom's eyes watching me from far away. We toss it aside, and notice the under layer is charred, black, and twisted.

"Lightning."  
Dad tells me, reaching down to grab another slab of charred steel. Before he can, it shifts, and his hands jerk away. We look at one another, stunned, and my vision blurred by tears. Waiting, we watch it shift again, and before we can move to help, a yell emits from below it. The steel planks lift, and fall, as a bloodied and shirtless Cain rises.

The shock makes me fall, as he stands and yells in anger, in pain. But it's not a yell I've ever heard before. It sounds like a human cry, and the whirring of a terminal starting up. His hands turn to fists, as he starts pulling sharp fragments out of his arms and chest. Dad, myself, mom and everyone else watch in shock and horror, and with each steel fragment removed, blood trickles. He pulls at them, until they're all gone, and when they are, he stops. He simply stops, and looks around.

Everyone watches him, and it looks like he doesn't recognize anyone. He looks at mom, at Gob, at Zack. Finally, he looks at dad, and then at me.

"Subject…subject…"

"Subject Codename Cain."

Dad says, and I look at him from my place on the ground. Cain turns his head away from me, and stares at dad.

"Unrecognizable."

He advances towards dad, and dad balls his hands into fists.

"I will kill you to protect my family, Subject."

He says, and I jump to my feet.

"No! Dad no!"

"Subject Cain unrecognizable."

"Subject Cain stand down!"

Dad yells, and I run towards him.

"Don't hurt him! Dad don't hurt him!"

"Dizzy! Stop!"

Mom yells as she runs down the slope. I stop running and look at her. The wild and worried look on her face tells me I should listen. Hurriedly, I look back at Cain and dad. They stare at one another, equal in size, height, and girth.

"Subject presented is not Subject Cain. Identify yourself. Subject 0001284936, present."

Who? What do those numbers mean? What's Cain saying.

"I am 0001284936. I give you the order to _stand down_."

"Subject created, from Subject 0001284936. Subject not created to take orders from Subject 0001284936."

"Subject Cain created to protect human Dizzy. These are your standing orders. If you do not comply, I _will_ use deadly force."

Dad talks like he's in the military. Like he's had some…some special…no. It makes sense now. It makes sense. Dad…dad is so much stronger, because before Cain, he was there. Before Cain, dad was the best in the world. And Cain…was just a clone. Cain, is a warped version of dad. And mom's right…dad…dad can and will kill him.

"Unconfirmed. Human Dizzy is unknown to Subject. I am prepared to defend myself."

Cain raises his hands, and prepares to fight with dad. Ignoring the warning to not get involved, I rush forward, and throw myself between them.

"Dizzy!"

Dad yells, and my appearance coupled with dad's reaction makes Cain react. I feel his fist connect with my jaw, and it propels me off of my feet. I fall down, and pain like I've never felt before travels through my body. Landing on the steel, I feel it piece my arm, and the blood trickle out. My hand clasps over my cheek, and I hiss at the pain.

"Ahhh…ah…."

I cry, my legs freezing up as a shadow blocks out the sun. Opening my eyes, I see Cain standing over me.

"Interference with orders. Human."

"Cain…it's ah…it's me! It's _me_! It's Dizzy!"

It hurts so much to talk, to move my jaw, but I have to. I see dad take careful steps forward, and I know he's going to attack Cain from behind. I know dad, and I know he'll kill him. He'll kill him if I can't stop it. And I can't let that happen. I can't let dad do that.

"Stop! Stop! You're not a machine! You're not a machine! You're Cain! You know me, you know me…"

All the things, I've ever wanted to tell him comes rushing out of me.

"I love you, Cain! I love you and you loved me, remember? Remember? It's me! It's me! I'm the one you're supposed to protect! Me! Cain!"

He bends down and wraps his hands around my neck.

"Unidentifiable."

"No! No I'm not! I'm Dizzy, Cain…I'm Dizzy…please…please don't…"

His grip slowly tightens, and I hear dad's footsteps growing closer and closer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I did this to you, Cain. I'm so sorry, please. Please remember…remember please. I love you. You're not a machine. You're not…you're mine. You're mine…"

His grip stops. Dad's footsteps stops, but I can see dad right behind him. Cain looks at me, his eyes analyzing things I can't comprehend. My tears fall down my cheeks, and land on his wrists.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

Lifting my hands, I put them on his wrists.

"It's okay…it's okay…"

Cain's hands fall away from me, and his body slumps over. He sits on his knees, his head hanging. Dad watches, gun in his hands, waiting.

"Subject…subject unresponsive…fault in system…system…"

"No, no shh…you're not a machine. You're not…"

I put my hands on his cheeks, kneeling in front of him. My face throbs and hurts, but I can't think of that right now.

"They don't know, they don't. It's okay. They see now. They see and it's okay. We can run away together…Cain it's okay…it's okay."

"…Harmless…harmless…it all seemed harmless…"

"It is, Cain. It is harmless. It's okay, I promise. We're together now. You'll be alright."

Everyone watches us. The citizens, our parents, everyone. They watch us, but I don't care. I can't care anymore. All I can care about, is Cain.

"You can do it, Cain. Remember, you can remember."

"Subject…I…"

"Yes, yes, see?"

"I…"

He falls away from me, and holds his head in his hands. His whole body seems to shake, and I crawl over to him. The world falls silent, as Cain struggles. I don't know what happened. I don't know what made him wake up, but even now I'm glad he did. I can't begin to explain how he came to be responsive, how he came to open his eyes, but none of that matters. All that matters, is that he's here, and he's alive.

Cain lifts his head, and he looks at me. Our matching eyes meet, as a still and cool breeze brushes against my skin. My mother appears aside my father, who stops her from interrupting. Taking Cain's hands in mine, I press them against my lips.

"Please, remember…do you really want to make me cry anymore? Please, Cain. I'm trying."

His fingers close around mine, as he blinks slowly.

"…It all…"

What's he trying to say? What can I do? My tears don't let up, as I hold his hands tightly.

"Just say it, Cain. It'll be alright, remember? It'll be alright…"

"…Too much…"

His body shakes, and his fingers release mine. In an instant, Cain falls down with his eyes closed.

"No! No! No you were here! No wake up!"

Dad and mom rush forward, and dad replaces his gun on his back. Mom wraps her arms around me, as dad bends down to examine Cain.

"He's breathing. He's breathing. He's alive, Dizzy. He's alive."

"…Make him come back. Make him wake up."

"I can't, not right now. It's too much for him to take. Give him time. Here, let's find a safe place for him. Dezbe, can we make it up to Gob's?"

"Yeah, if you walk around the back."

Dad nods, and lifts Cain in his arms. He's alive. And he's breathing. He's alive, and soon, he's going to wake up.


	47. Chapter 47

Gob says it was the lightning. That it probably struck steel he was next to, and travelled over to him. The strong electrical current was powerful enough to reboot the system in place of his mind. After that, Gob says, it was a matter of outside stimulus to wake him. He thinks that me being nearby helped a lot, and jolted him awake. I don't know if the last part holds any truth, because Cain looked at me like he didn't recognize me. He didn't remember me, or dad, or anyone. He talked like he was in some sort of organization, like he was back at the place that made him. Mom, who is an expert in terminals, says Cain reminded her of a terminal after a complete system wipe. Just bare programming and coding, with no real inputs. Dad, on the other hand, is much more suspicious and on-edge.

For a few hours, he wasn't leaving. Gob's letting Cain and me stay in his room, because his house was left standing somehow. Dad stood quietly beside me, with his shotgun ready for anything. As if Cain was going to wake up and attack me. I don't think he's going to, though. Attack me, I mean. Before he passed out, it was almost as if he remembered. Not fully, but remembered something. Mom looks at it like a terminal, and says sometimes files, or in Cain's case, memories, can be stored in different parts and brought together. But bringing them together takes time, because the terminal has to look in different areas. I'm not sure if she's right, or if anyone is really right. There's only one way to tell, too, and that's when Cain wakes up. It's unanimous between everyone, though, that we're happy he's alive.

He's sleeping right now, and I'm rubbing his face down with a cool, moist cloth. He really is sleeping, too. His eyelids flutter, and he breathes, and he even has a heartbeat. Sometimes, he even jerks and jolts around. When he wakes up, I will tell him we can run away. That he and I can slip out under the cover of night. We can promise only to be honest to one another, and make sure nothing stops us. When we're over the mountains, and beyond the clouds, there'll be nothing but laughter.

I don't think anyone is opposed to us, but, I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to have to worry about dad, if Cain snaps. It's not going to be easily forgotten, and dad won't hesitate to squeeze the trigger to save me or mom. Even if it is from Cain. If we ran away, and Cain shut down, at least then I'd be there. I'd be the only victim. Somehow, it seems better, than letting dad do it. Cain and I, in our world, could do everything simple. Nobody would know a thing about us. They wouldn't know about our genetics. About how he was made, and how I was born. Does that, even consider us siblings? I don't know. I'm not sure of anything anymore.

The sun begins to set, as I watch it through Gob's bedroom window. Outside, after a day of everyone working together, looks entirely different. The smaller homes are rebuilt, and everyone is working on the ramps and upper homes. Most of the Brahmin, the ones that lived, have returned, and their cries echo. At some moments, you can hear laughter, too. Like the citizens are really okay, and they're really moving on. To them, to the older people here, this was just another thing that happened. Gob, dad and mom are use to disasters. Maybe not natural ones, but disasters nonetheless. I've never lived through one. So, I guess, I'm not bright in that field.

Cain groans in his sleep, and I look down at him. His fingers twitch, and I take his hand in mine.

"You're dreaming."

I tell him, calm, and he seems to stop. His breathing regulates, and his chest doesn't rise as quickly. When I hold his hand, even if he doesn't really know I'm holding it, I don't feel as lonely.

"Everything alright?"

Dad says from behind me. Turning around, I see him in the doorway, eyeing Cain suspiciously.

"Yeah. He's still asleep. How long until he wakes up? My butt hurts from sitting."

"Can't say. Why don't you come outside? Get some fresh air?"

I shake my head at dad, and sigh.

"I don't want to. I want to be here when he wakes up."  
"Might not be a good idea."

"Dad, he won't hurt me."  
"Again, that isn't a good thought."

"Can you just trust me for once? I'm not…I'm not as stupid as you think I am."

Dad's face softens, and his shoulders slump a bit forward. I know he's older than time. I know he's seen more in his life, than I could ever hope to see in mine. And still, he has no idea about his own daughter. No idea about kids. Sure he's a wonderful dad, but he has trouble letting go. I don't hold it against him, I just get sick of it from time to time.

"I never thought you were stupid, Dizzy."

"It'll be alright, dad. No matter what happens, it'll be alright."

"I don't like that tone."

"Me neither. But you know I'm right."

Dad sighs, and says nothing as he leaves. The door closes behind him, and I look back at Cain, my hand still holding his. You know, the relation we have, goes two ways. If I die, Cain dies. If Cain dies, then I know, I'll die too. Because without Cain, who do I have? Who can I run to? For the longest time, we weren't a part of one another's lives. I regret that, more than I do anything else. Because we could have been so different now, if we just stuck together. But, even during that time, Cain comforted me without even knowing it. Just knowing he was a room over, made it easier to sleep at night. In his own small way, Cain always made sure I felt like I belonged somewhere. Without him, where do people like me fit in? That's like, asking mom where she fits in, without dad. Nowhere. Everything, just seems so dull, and unimportant. Empty, and vague.

I don't want the world. I don't want caps. I could live without adventure, and can do without the murder of the Capital Wasteland. I just want Cain. That's all. Him, and a place for us to go. Closing my eyes, I try to envision that place. There isn't any pain, there's only smiles and happiness. Everything, in that place, is right. Absentmindedly, I squeeze Cain's hand, as I think of this place. When I feel his hand squeeze back, I open my eyes and look at him. He's looking right at me, our blue eyes meeting. I'm too shocked, to say anything, to move, as he stares at me with a stone-cold expression.

"…Dizzy."

It's a statement, not a question. I nod my head, a bit nervous. Trying to take my hand away, Cain holds tighter and tighter. Instead of making him mad, I stop struggling. Not wanting dad to worry, I make sure to keep quiet.

"Yeah, I'm Dizzy. I mean, that's my name. Remember?"

His expression stays cold and unfamiliar, and my heart starts to race. Looking at someone, knowing they don't recognize you, is something I haven't ever had to deal with before.

"…Yes…I…think I…"

Letting my hand go, Cain sits up, and puts his head in his hands.

"I…my head…"

My first reaction is to get him radiation, even though I know it won't help. He lifts his head, and looks around the room. Silence is thick, like it's our second language.

"…Are you okay?"

What? I stare at the back of his head as he stares out the window, bringing his knees to his chest.

"Y-yeah. I'm okay."

"Good. I was worried."

He remembers. Cain looks at his hands, and then at me.

"You remember?"

I ask him, and he nods.

"I remember everything. I remember Gob, and Dr. Barrows and dad trying to fix me. I remember, making you so upset."

"No, no Cain, you didn't make me upset."

"…I couldn't say anything. I wanted to. I couldn't move. But I could hear everything."

"It's okay now, it's okay, because you're here."

Against my better judgment, I throw my arms around him. I press myself against his bare chest as best as I can, and bury my face in the nape of his neck. His strong and scarred arms wrap around me, and I've never been happier to smell anyone in my entire life.


	48. Chapter 48

(Cain)

It was so surreal. I was, hearing everything. I could feel everything. From Dizzy's tears, to dad picking me up. But I couldn't move. I couldn't function. I could only think, and the voice in my head, the voice of my creator, yelled at me. He screamed, calling me a program, an android, and such complex emotions were not allowed to register. I heard, as dad explained to Dizzy, what happens when we're apart for too long. And as everything went along around me, I kept thinking, that made so much sense. And even though I could say and do nothing, I felt okay. I felt…everything was going to be okay.

Because it made sense, why I was so driven towards her. Why I wanted to be around her. Why I cared so much about her. The voice in my head, told me I wasn't meant to feel, only do. But I told that voice it didn't matter. I had grown. I told him I was built a machine, but grew into a man. He was angry. Furious. He said he'd never let me wake up again. For a while, I was scared he was right. That somehow he would succeed. And then…I woke up.

I guess it was a storm. Because I remember hearing Dizzy yell and scream that they had to come back for me. I could hear the wind hitting the house, and feel myself falling from the bed, and slamming against the crater of Megaton. After that…it gets fuzzy. The voice said I would die, that I wouldn't ever wake up. But then something happened. It was this powerful surge of electricity. It silenced the voice, and slowly, I could feel. I felt all the weight on me, and I know I couldn't move. Then, when I was finally able to, I couldn't remember anything. Nothing. I think…I tried to kill Dizzy.

After I went out again, I heard so many voices. There was mom's, and dad's, and Gob's and Dizzy's. They were all talking about me, and how they should deal with me if I woke up in a frenzy again. I screamed at them in my mind, that I was okay, but just so exhausted. A few hours of sleep, and I promised them I'd be okay. Even though they couldn't hear me, I knew someone could sense it. Someone had to have believed deep down, I wasn't going to hurt anyone.

Dizzy…she cried for me. She stayed with me, all that time. I can remember her cries, and when I do, I hold her tighter. She was so hurt, and she yelled such cruel things at mom and dad. She said, she loved me. Loved me, and that I wasn't mom's son. And I remember thinking, that I loved her, too.

Lifting my head from her, I look into those eyes. I don't think we share the same ones, anymore. Because hers are from dad. Hers…are from real genetics. Mine, are made. Created from a machine. Tears stream down her cheeks, but she's not sad.

"…Everything is going to be okay now."

I tell her, and she nods. Using the back of my hand I wipe her tears away, because it's all I can do.

"I missed you so much…"

Dizzy cries, throwing her arms around me again.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  
"It's not your fault…it's not your fault…"

"I'm here now, everything will be okay."

"I love you…I love you…please don't leave…please stay with me."

"Ow, careful. I'm sore. And…I have to stay with you, don't I?"

One of her fingers scratches a scab on my back. Dizzy lifts herself up, and takes in a deep breath. She nods at me.

"You're stuck with me now. Forever, dad says."

Strangely, I'm okay with this.

"…Maybe when I'm better, if you want…we can go find a place where, it's okay. Where nobody will look at us funny."

"Cain, we're not very good at surviving."

"Sure we are. We just, got separated."

Dizzy nods, trying not to cry again. I lie back down, sore all over from being unconscious. The feeling in my legs and some areas of my upper body hasn't really returned yet. Dizzy watches me, a sad smile on her face.

"It's so hard to talk, when you're around me."

She says, as I make myself comfortable on the pillows.

"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. But…I guess, you already know everything there is to say."

Kicking off her boots, Dizzy scrambles on the bed, and lays beside me. Her black and brown hair tickles my chin, as she puts her arms around me.

"I need you more than you need me."

"That's a lot, Diz, considering I need you for survival."

"Yeah, but I need you, because I love you. You only need me, because you have to survive."

She's sad, and doesn't believe that I return the feelings. Do I tell her? Should I right now? Doubt, worry, and fear sets in my mind. I can take her somewhere, and along the way try to come to terms with it, but once we got to wherever we were going, what good would it do? I'd still be so indecisive. So insecure, and unsure of everything. I love Dizzy, I know I do. But, how can I? How can I love her, when we've been raised like siblings our entire life? When we share just…half, of our genetic makeup? When she is one-half, of what I am? Looking down at her, and how she holds me close, I think I realize, she's right beside me. In all endeavors. In everything.

"…Don't let me go, okay?"

She says, holding on tighter. It hurts my sore body a bit, but I let her. I let her, because I've always let her. I've always let her crawl into bed with me, when she woke from night terrors. Always let her run off, even though everything in my body told me to chase her. Gave her the adventure she so craved, and let her cry when she needed to. And in return, Dizzy didn't give up on me. She stood by me, when even dad was ready to put an end to my miserable existence. I would have felt it to be a mercy killing. Because no one who thinks they're a man, wants to live as a machine.

"Yeah. I won't."

Someday, one day, I think Dizzy and I will be alright. Right now, it's too soon. I just woke up, and I have to think of how to process all this. How to feel something so complex. Why…why was I able to have sex just fine with Erica, and not feel half of what I feel towards Dizzy? Why Dizzy? Was it because Dizzy was the first thing I felt a purpose for? When she was just a baby, dad told me I was to protect her, no matter the cost. That was my first objective, so I suppose, my 'programming' told me that this was the person I was meant to be beside. But if Dizzy was born a boy, would I have these feelings? No. No I wouldn't. What makes me love Dizzy, isn't because I have to. It isn't for survival. Until I can figure out why I love her, I can't admit to her I do. Until then, in my head, it's still wrong.

Dad told her, I was simply built to protect. That I need her to survive. Yet I was able to feel something for Erica. It wasn't love, but, I liked her. I liked the sex. Hell, everyone does. I wanted to protect Dizzy still, even with Erica, so…just because I'm bound to Dizzy, doesn't mean I have to love her. So why? Why?

The door opening interrupts my thought process, and I see dad standing there. He looks at me, and Dizzy lifts her head.

"He's awake, and he's okay. I told you so."

It seems she's back to her old self. Dad looks at me, and I understand.

"I have to talk to dad. Go play outside."

I tell Dizzy, and she nods without protest. Alright maybe she's made some significant changes. Usually she wouldn't protest. But if she's eavesdropping, then I take that statement back. She's still Dizzy, if she does back. Dad steps aside, to let her pass through, and closes the door behind her.

"You should know, I came here to kill you."

Dad says without hesitation, setting down his shotgun.  
"I figured. I heard everything, I just couldn't respond. Like a coma. I wouldn't have held it against you."

"I know. I read your papers."

"Right. Papers. I have those."

"I knew you could hear after the first day. I knew you were aware."

Dad sits down, and I sigh, shaking my head.

"Then why tell Dizzy, I might not wake up?"

"Because I will protect my daughter from any pain. No matter the cost."

"Does that make us rivals now, dad?"

We're silent, as he thinks everything over.  
"No. It makes you a liability. And me, the bad guy."

"I know. But I won't hurt her, dad. I don't think I can. Knowing what we do now, I have a feeling Dizzy is going to be close to me."

I see shadows move from under the door, and I point to it. Dad turns around, looking.

"Get your ass outside or I swear you won't sit for days!"

He'd never hit her, but it scares her enough to send her running. We hear the noise of her bare feet pattering down the stairs, and the door slam. It makes us chuckle.

"That seems to be the case. You know now, how she feels. What about you?"

"I don't know, dad. I don't know…how I feel about anything anymore."

Dad shrugs, lighting a cigarette. He waits for me to continue on.

"What I don't understand, is why Dizzy? Had she been born a boy, I wouldn't have these feelings. Yet, I understand, my feelings are of my own will. I could still have a normal relationship with someone else. I'm not restricted to loving, just Dizzy."  
"And I can't tell you why I love your mother. Wait. I can, but I can't tell you what made me love her. I simply did. At the time of it all, I kicked myself in the ass for it night upon night."

"Mom was a lot like Dizzy…"

"Worse. Your mother had me running all over this place, doing shit, talking to her. But, strangely, at the end of the night, even before our relationship became something mutual, I cared. I didn't know why, I still don't. I just felt a connection with Dezbe, that no one had made with me before."

"She treated you like a person, dad. My situation is a bit different, and hard to swallow."

"It is, but the point of that is, we don't know why we love someone. We can name reasons, but, those reasons weren't there, when we fell in love."

I look away from him. I'm still worried, and scared. And confused.

"Give yourself time. There isn't any rush. Think about it. But know, you have to stand by Dizzy. You can't take off, neither can she. She loves you, Cain, and always has. You love her, too."

"It's that obvious?"

"No. But parents are smarter than their offspring. I understand, your hesitance. Make sure Dizzy doesn't think it'll be forever, either. It is possible, to not love someone one day."

"Have you ever not loved mom?"

"No. I've always loved her. I always will. We are connected deeper, than love."

"I didn't know that was possible."

"Because you're still young."

He leaves after that. Probably to get Dizzy. I let his words sink into me, but they don't chase away the fear I have. What's holding me back? I love her, I know that, but something is telling me not to. Something is keeping me, from enjoying her, from making the most of this situation. It wasn't there, when we gallivanted in the Wasteland heading towards The Pitt. It was overruled by feelings of lust and excitement. Maybe, the hesitance I feel, is the stress of social norms placed upon me. I don't know. I just want to see her.


	49. Chapter 49

Over the next few weeks, things pass in a dreamlike haze. Eventually, I regain feeling in my body. It felt weird to wake up that morning, and feel my feet against the ground. Walking was hard, for a time, since I couldn't tell what I was stepping on, or even if I was lifting my feet. You'd be surprised how much we rely on our sense of touch. But then when you do realize it, it's probably too late. Dr. Barrows said I was lucky. Very, very lucky.

He's been running tests on me every other day since I woke up. He claims I sustained more damage than I was designed to take, and the fact that I can remember anything is another lucky miracle. He says if you look at me from a software/hardware point of view, my system should have crashed. But being a man, a human, is what saved me. Since I was raised normally, I didn't get the training I was required to receive. As far as I knew, I was a man, and not a machine. I knew I was made by man, rather than nature and love and emotions, but not to the extent that it really is. Claiming I convinced myself, I was more man than machine, is what saved me. My brain developed to be more organic than not, and well, I guess that's the most simplistic way to describe it. I got lucky.

Dr. Barrows also found a working formula for Dizzy and I. He knows not even mom and dad can be around one another every second of every minute of every hour of every day. People need quiet time, and alone time. It doesn't matter the time Dizzy's been gone, but the distance. The further away she is, the harder it is for me to refresh myself. My body shuts down, because I can't make the chemicals that I get from her on my own. A dependency that was chosen, before either one of us knew any better. The more distance between us, the sicker and sicker I get. So long as she stays within say, the town of Megaton and its perimeters, I'll be sluggish, but fine. We can stay on separate ends of a place as long as Rivet City, but only for a few days, because the chemicals she provides me with, biologically, need to be remade so to speak, every few days. When you see the diagrams Dr. Barrows made, it makes sense.

Despite this, though, and all the good revelations everyone, including myself, has been discovering due in part to me being a scientific experiment of marvel, Dizzy stays close. She knows she can wander, and have time for herself, she simply chooses not to. From time to time, she will socialize with Megaton citizens and travelers for a few hours, but never more than four or five. She made a new friend, and I'm glad she's branching out and being social. Dizzy, really, has made an entire personality change.

I can't say why, but, she did. She's not as dramatic, or as bratty as she use to be. She's more serious, like dad, and quieter. Her relationship with both our parents has improved significantly, as well as with Gob and Zack. I can't say I dislike the change. I miss the tantrum-throwing Dizzy from time to time, but she has changed for the better. Although, the relationship between us, has been stuck at a stalemate. Neither one of us push for anything, and deep down, I know it hurts her. I know, every time I look at her. She wants me to admit it, wants me to embrace it all and go off to some imaginary place with her, but, I can't. Not yet, anyways. I simply…don't know why. But, until I know why it's Dizzy, I think it's going to stay at a stalemate. Of all the people I could have felt anything for, it was Dizzy.

Right now, she's off with her new friend, Joe, James, Jacob, something with a 'J'. I don't remember, but I do know he has feelings for her. She does, too, and often complains about it. Instead of venturing out, I opted to stay home. I have to talk to mom about things, that I don't particularly like speaking about. Feelings, really, and the ins and outs of them.

Heading down to the kitchen, where mom is tinkering with guns and busying herself, I feel a lump in my throat. Tip-toeing around the subject is out of the question, so asking outright is a better approach. Especially with people as blunt as my mother. I sit down across from her, and she doesn't even look up from the weapon she's cleaning.

"What's up?"

She sounds like Dizzy, and I shake my head.

"I have a serious question."

Mom doesn't look at me, she continues to stare at the gun in her hand, but she raises an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

"How…how did you fall in love with dad? I mean, did you want to? How, really, did it happen?"

It takes a while for it to register in mom's head. Slowly, calmly, she places the gun down and looks at me. For a minute, I think she's going to speak, but then she looks away. Off into space, lost in her thoughts as she remembers events that took place decades upon decades ago. Almost four decades, really. Well, three, or three and a half.

"…Hm. That is a serious question."

"Can you answer it?"

I don't mean to sound eager, but, I am. Maybe if I knew a bit more about mom and dad's personal relationship, rather than their public one, it would help give meaning or insight to my own personal feelings. Maybe, even terminate them forever, if the answer is logical.

"In a way, I suppose. Things of a heart, of a woman's heart especially, aren't always simple, or formulated, or something to be worked out in a mathematical equation."

"Well, try, please?"

Mom sighs and lights a cigarette. The stale smoke drips from her mouth as she exhales slowly, and looks still at things I can't see, but glimmer in her eyes. My mom is an exceptional being.

"Alright. You know, that I was alone for the first three months I came out of the vault. What you don't know, is that I was alone even before then, too. In the vault, my father had little time to spend with me. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the other children didn't take to me, because I was an 'outsider'. I wasn't born in the vault, and they didn't want me living in the vault. I had no friends. Anyone who was kind to me, or cared, did so because…they wanted something."

"So you were alone for your entire life?"

"Yeah, for the most part. My life back then, anyways. I had grown accustomed to it. Even enjoyed it over the company of others. When I came out of the vault, things and people didn't change. Only the scenery. When anyone was kind to me, it was because they wanted a favor or ten. At first, I was fine with it. Mainly, because I was terrified of the Capital Wasteland."

"I would have been, too."

Mom nods, blinking slowly and ashing her cigarette in the ashtray in front of her.

"I wasn't prepared to find your father. I had in my mind, accepted I would soon die from something out here. That my existence wouldn't be missed, and I'd be another person dead. It happens every day, even now. I walked into Underworld, high as a kite on Jet, and looking to score more. Your father's employer at the time, was a cruel man. There was a disagreement between us, his employer and myself, and your father was ordered to kill me."

Mom's told this story to me so many times before. But now, it's different. Because she doesn't play up the laughter, adventures, and hard times her and dad once had. Instead, this version, is her own. Emotions of the past seep through her voice, and I listen, hanging on every word.

"And yet…he didn't. It bothered me, as I left Underworld. Why didn't he kill me? He disobeyed a direct order, and later on I would learn how difficult it was for him to do that. Why? Why didn't this ghoul, who I had never met before, kill me? What made me, special enough to spare, when even my own father would throw me to the dogs?"

"Did you ever find out?"

She smirks, and shakes her head.

"It's another mystery of our relationship. We can give you theories, but, we still don't know. Anyways, I went back and purchased your father's contract. He came with me, and…I wasn't alone anymore. It took a lot of time, for me to accept how I began to feel towards him. In time, I did, and in a longer duration of time, he returned my feelings."

"So you love dad, because he made you not lonely?"

"No, it's much more complicated than that, Cain. I knew and understood that your father was with me at first due to the context of his contract. That he had no emotions, and certainly none towards me. But I felt something. I still do. It was a sense of feeling, and acceptance. That no matter what, this person would never intentionally bring harm to me, but instead work at correcting all the wrongs anyone had ever done to me. It was, and still is, an unexplainable feeling."

Her story is based on emotions, not logic. I know sometimes logic isn't logical, but, I want it to be.

"I protected you. You saw a comfort in me, that although employed through my services, no one else gave you. You grew to depend on me, Dezbe."

I jump at the sound of dad's voice. Looking behind me, he's sitting on the steps. Even though he's large, he can be silent. I could never measure up to his movements, his stealth. When dad wants to be quiet, he is. You'd never know he was even ever there. I glance at mom, and she smiles at him. A soft, hopeful, and sad smile.

"I did. For emotional support, protection, love, nurturing…everything my childhood didn't have."

"Dependence, turned to love. If you're asking your mother these things because of Dizzy, it's useless. Dependence will almost always turn to love, when it's positive. Your mother depended on me, and her natural need to nurture took over to compensate for my employment. A symbiotic relationship. Other than that, beyond that, it is not explainable. It simply is, and we accept that. Although…sometimes I wonder."

Mom laughs and throws something small and round at dad. He knocks it away, giving her as much of a smirk as he can give. Dad knows most of my thoughts these days are about figuring out the how's and why's of my feelings towards Dizzy. They both know how Dizzy and I feel, but they don't press the issue. They know in time, things will work out. Everything does for them, anyways.

"I just want to know why Dizzy. That's it. Why Dizzy, and not Erica or some other person?"

I ask them, and light my own cigarette as mom puts hers out. She sighs, and shakes her head. Dad stands up, his boots still silent on the steel and wood floor, as he walks over to her. His hand rests on her shoulder, and she smiles.

"I don't know, Cain. Maybe your father's right. Dependency on her? Having her as your first priority for most of your childhood? Being raised in the same home, constantly together?"

"Mom, we were raised as siblings."

"But you knew you weren't. Knowing that, even subconsciously, makes a difference."

I frown and inhale on my cigarette. I hate to admit when mom's right, because it shows I lack wisdom. But, they have years and decades and in dad's case, centuries on me. They worked hard, and suffered, for their wisdom. Even if mom is brash, crass, impulsive, loud, and violent…she's smart. She's right. She's mom, and she's never wrong.

"Stop fighting it, and accept it."

Dad says, shrugging and gripping mom's shoulder tighter. It's his subtle signal that they want alone time. I still haven't met two people, so in love, after so much time, as they are.

"I can't. Not yet."

Poking my cigarette out, I run my fingers through my hair.  
"She won't love you forever, Cain. A woman can only love a marble statue for so long, before giving up. We're strong, us ladies, but we have a breaking point. Eventually, she'll find someone who will return the feelings and gifts she has to offer."

"Maybe she should, mom. It might be better that way…"

"She talked about leaving here, soon. You'll have to go with her. If you truly don't want to feel anything but sibling emotions towards her, that's your choice. Focus on meeting new people, then."

Wait. Dizzy never mentioned anything to me about leaving Megaton. And why are mom and dad okay with this? With her taking off, I mean. Because last time, things didn't go so well. I know they want to be alone, but I have to press the issue.

"What? Where does she want to go?"

"North. Somewhere. In her head, there's some magical place of eternal happiness. I once thought the same thing. Your father and I talked about it, and we decided to let you both go when you want. After all, it wasn't the threats of the Capital Wasteland that harmed anyone, only the stupidity of two kids. Which, you still are, despite your protests."

I can't argue with them anymore. They're right, so I give them the alone time they suddenly want. They don't worry about me dying before them anymore, because of my dependency on Dizzy. I'll live as long as she does, and will age with her. If she ever gets old and gray, I will as well. Until then, I'll stay youthful. Knowing this, when a while back I was scared I wouldn't see the world change with her, warms me inside. I can see everything I want, alongside Dizzy. I can protect her, comfort her, and offer anything I can to her. But, I can't give her love. The love I wanted to give her before. Because now, I suppose, I'm simply scared to.


	50. Chapter 50

Outside, the air is cooler. Maybe not, but, being inside made me feel stuffy. Megaton looks the same, after the storm. The platforms are more efficient, using less steel with better engineering. The extra steel is being held for emergencies, per dad's order. We even gave some steel from our own house, which is the biggest in Megaton. When rebuilding the second floor, mom and dad kept their room the same, but didn't rebuild Dizzy's. So instead, there's two beds in my room, and it's slightly bigger. The house juts out at an odd angle now, and looks a bit off, but, it's nice. Megaton is nice.

Walking around for a bit, I wave to Gob while he tinkers with things alongside Zack. I see the citizens, and I nod at them. Erica comes into my view a few times, but there's nothing left to say to one another. New girls from other small settlements nearby, staying at the common house, look at me and smile. I'm handsome enough to have any one of them. They'd take me, and bring me in. Care about me for a bit, and maybe even fall in love with me. But, it wouldn't be the same on my end. Even the thought of sex makes me shake my head and feel sick. I don't know why. I loved sex, hell I still do. Thinking about it, drives me insane, though.

Stopping near the base of the crater, I decide to sit down. The Brass Lantern is busy today, and Megaton is filled with the happy chatter and noise it's usually filled with. You'd think life has been this way since the dawn of time, and that really there was no such thing as pre-war. People get along well here. They survive, and with the G.E.C.K, grow crops and make trade. But, there's no strive for new technology, or efficiency. Everyone's really adapted to the work. Really, I think it's the freedom out here, that no one wants to give up. The freedom to shoot someone, defend yourself, or run off and have nothing to worry about. A lawless system. Dad calls it anarchy. He said it was hell on Earth, when the bombs first fell. People were scavengers, cruel, and did anything to survive. But, over time, when they realized there was no end to the desolate waste, they started to work together towards a common goal. There'll always be Raiders and enemies, but, people work together now. I don't want to live in pre-war times, anyways. I wouldn't know how.

Up near the crops, I see Dizzy. The crops grow where the wall once stood, behind the restrooms, atop the crater. They reach a few hundred yards out, and stop at the Brahmin field. She's up there, sitting in the sun, in the grass, like I am. She's with that boy, too. They're laughing, and smiling. Good. Dizzy needs friends, and to be more social. I love her smile. She lights up, glows, even. When I was younger, and found out about Glowing Ones, I tried to feed Dizzy as much radiation as possible. When mom asked why I was doing it, I said it was because I wanted her to glow in the dark, so we'd never lose one another. I smile at the memory now, at my childish ways, but at the time, I was so sad when she told me that was impossible. Because to me, it meant I would never have to worry, because all I would have to look for was glowing Dizzy. Due to recent events, I suppose that wouldn't have been such a bad idea.

"Cain?"

I hear a woman's voice behind me, and I look up. Erica. Without saying anything to her, I look away, and back at nothing. I don't want to stare at Dizzy anymore. There's no man good enough, and it makes me mad that she's having fun with some idiot whose name isn't even important enough for me to remember.

"Cain, can I talk to you, please?"

"You've caused enough trouble."

I have nothing to say to her. There's nothing to say, as I watch the sun cast shadows on everything.

"I don't want to cause trouble. I just want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. Cain, we have a lot of history together and…I don't think we should throw it all away."

"We didn't. You did, and history means nothing. It only means security."

She sits down beside me, even though I didn't invite her to.

"…You have history with Dizzy."

"She's my sister."

"There's more than that to it, and I know it."

I look at her, while she runs her fingers over small blades of grass. How does she know? What's she getting at?

"Yeah? You think so?"

Erica nods, and looks up to where Dizzy and that idiot sit.  
"She's trying to get away from you. She'd never waste her time with someone as stupid as Travis."

So. The idiot's name is Travis. I thought it was John or something, but I suppose I was wrong. He didn't leave a lasting impression.

"So her hanging with him, means she's trying to get away from me? You don't make any sense, Erica."

I get up to leave, maybe even to walk up to Dizzy. But I can't see her right now. I'm ashamed to face her.

"I always knew you loved Dizzy more than me. You'd choose her over me, any day of the week."

"She's my sister."

"It was an unhealthy devotion you two had. Sure you were both distant, but it was there."

"Stop it. You're making up false and crazy accusations. I don't want to hear it anymore."

She says something else as I walk away, but I choose not to listen. Instead, I focus on singling out Dizzy's laughter, as it travels through Megaton. It's been a long time, since I've made her laugh like that. Dealing with someone else, another guy, make her laugh is hard. But I know it's for the best. I know that if she moves on, then there's no worry. Because I'll have no choice to. If there was a way, for us to be okay, believe me I would take it. But in my mind, there isn't.

"Cain!"

This time, it's Dizzy who calls me. I turn around to see her running towards me, smiling, with that idiot behind her. She comes up to me, out of breath, but smiling.

"Travis is coming with us!"

I raise an eyebrow, and look down at him. He gives me a small smile, and shrugs.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know yet. North. Somewhere. I want to…be _free_."

"Another mouth to worry about isn't good to bring along."

"But another gun is."

"I doubt he can shoot."

When Dizzy is near me, my body is faster, lighter, stronger, and all around better. I'm not sure if it's all from my dependency on her, either. Travis, the idiot, looks at me sheepishly.

"I can. My dad taught me how. Everyone out here can shoot a gun."

He tells me, and I fold my arms over my chest.

"Doesn't mean they can aim that gun."  
"Cain, stop being mean."

Dizzy's hand drops from Travis' wrist. I look down at her, and shake my head.

"Bring who you want, but you know the risks."

Turning I walk away from her. I don't expect her to follow me, because I'm not even sure where I'm going. Home isn't an option, since mom and dad want to be alone, and I can't really leave Megaton. But still, I walk past my home and a bit away from it. Without the gate or walls, it's easy to leave the boundaries. Even if it is only a few yards, it feels much further.

"Why do you act like this?"

Dizzy says, and I turn to see her right behind me. I guess she did follow me. Alright.

"Do what?"

She shakes her head, and lights a cigarette.

"You act cold towards me, and get mad when I try to…when I try…when I try to…"

She gives up and puffs on her cigarette in short, angry bursts. My face softens at her. I didn't mean to make her feel that way. Still, I can't tell her. I can't let her on. This is the curse I was born with, and it doesn't mean she has to come down with me.

"Dizzy it's not like that, alright? I just…have a hard time accepting there's a man out there good enough for you is all. You know, like dad. He probably has that issue, too."

"I love the way you lie, Cain."

"I'm not lying."

She looks at me, her eyes filled with tears and hurt. There's a boy in Dizzy's life, and more than anything, I want her to be happy. If I can't make her happy, than the idiot has to. Someone has to.

"Everything that happened between us…"

She trails off, and I sigh. This is going to be a difficult life to lead, if this is how things will play out.

"Hey, look, let's…let's forget that, alright? You can…go play with Travis and soon we can leave Megaton together. We'll go wherever you want."

It's like I've just said something completely insane. Dizzy throws her cigarette to the ground and points a menacing finger at me.

"_You_ might be able to forget it but I _can't_! It's _my_ fault that it all happened! You almost died because of me! I would have given anything in the world to bring you back! And now…you want me to _forget_ that? You want me to just…just forget it? Cain how inane can you be? _How_?"

"I didn't mean it like that, Dizzy. Just, calm down, okay? Stop yelling."

"No! No I won't! You didn't…you…you…"

Her cries break through her words. She stands in front of me, defeated, hurt, and it's all my fault. Once again, I turn my back on Dizzy emotionally, when she needs me.

"Come here."

I pull her into my arms, and at first, she fights me. Eventually, she lets me hold her, and quiets down. I want to tell her I didn't mean it. That everything will be okay, and the two of us can run off somewhere and do whatever we want. I know, that when I was sick, all I wanted was one more moment with her. I know my own feelings. I know, they're wrong. They're wrong, and I have to do all I can, to not fall for them. I can't believe, I'm telling her that I'd lay it all on the ground. That I don't care. It kills me, to know that's how she said it.

"…You're supposed to be stuck with me…"

"Not in any emotional sense, Dizzy. Only…chemically."

"Emotions are chemicals."

I let her go, because she's right, and I fear I won't hold back. Maybe it's the devil in me, doing all this. But, the devil doesn't make anyone do anything. They just blame him. We stand apart, and she sighs. Wiping her face, I know she'll never forgive me if I tell her outright that it can never be. Then I'll be terrified to wake up alone every day.

Looking past her, I see mom and dad leaving the house. Their alone time has ended, and I sigh with relief. I want to go home and lay in my bed. All this stuff today has taken quite a toll.

"Dizzy, go see Travis. If you want him to make you happy, then that's okay. I'm not mad, really."

She watches me walk past her, and says nothing. Soon I hear her footsteps behind me, and the rhythm of our feet comforts me.

"If it was just me and you, Cain, I wonder what we could do together."

Nothing good. Nothing good, will come of Dizzy and I being alone. Maybe it's good, that Travis the Idiot comes with us.


	51. Chapter 51

(Dizzy)

I don't really like Travis. He's fun and all, but, he's not what I want. I just like the company, because I know Cain's been off since waking up. He's distant, and sometimes cold. I haven't been pressing anything, because usually it'll end in tears or something of equal sadness. It hurts, to know we can't talk about anything, and to know that he's changing, but I know it has to. I just wish it didn't hurt so fucking much.

I'll always love him, I think. But there is a point. I mean, I get to leave now. Anytime I want. I can go off and find myself. I can go and follow in mom and dad's footsteps. But, the thing is, I'm not sure who I am. Knowing who mom and dad really are, has kind of bothered me. In the back of my mind, it picks and eats at me. I'm scared, that I can't measure up.

Now I know, why people look at me funny, too. They always use to, as if I was some special messiah. They would say I was a special child. I never understood it, until mom and dad told me what they did. For everyone. For the Capital Wasteland. And for one another. They have such big shoes to fill. When I was younger, my father's shoes could never fit my feet. His boots were so large, and my feet, even now, are too small. There's a lot of room for growth. A lot of room for change. But thing is, there isn't anything else to change. The world is fine, and there's no real threats. So, what can I do? Where do I belong? Maybe those are questions everyone asks, but for me, they mean a bit more. Look at my mom. Look at my dad. Those standards, are pretty high.

After the argument with Cain, we kind of just went different ways. We're leaving for the Wasteland soon, but, I'm not excited. He went back home, and I stayed out here. Just on the outskirts of town. Because really, it's calming, and helps me think. Although my thoughts are racing. And my heart hurts. And sometimes I can't really breathe that well. Mom and dad fell in love effortlessly. They found their place, and they're happy. And I want that, too. It just seems, everything is more difficult for me. Because there's no way to prove I'm as good as them. And people seem to expect me to be some…something like my mom, I guess. They expect me to be a part of a plan, that I don't even know the blueprints for. That I can't even see. Cain doesn't even see eye-to-eye with me anymore. It seems, our adventures made us closer, and then forced us further apart than we ever were before.

Sitting on a boulder, I watch the sky. It's blue, and a twinge of yellow. Mom says it's had the yellow tint since forever, because of all the radiation. She says, even though radiation is scarce around here, there's places that still have an abundance of it, and the sky is forever. I want to see the world. I want to touch the sky. I want to do what mom and dad did, and be close to someone, and never feel scared or alone. But I don't know how.

The Wasteland goes on and on, with mountains and cliffs on the horizon. The Washington Monument stands tall, and beyond that…beyond that is a world full of adventure and things I can't even begin to imagine. But, will I ever get to it? Will I ever be, half of what mom and dad were? And will I ever get to feel even a fraction of the emotions, that my parents still hold for one another? I don't know. I guess I'm still just a dumb kid. Mom and dad are so old and wise. But, I guess, that's because they've got life experience. And that isn't something you can get staying in Megaton your whole life. Megaton, is my Vault 101.

I hear footsteps coming from behind me, and wrap my fingers around my small gun. I'm too close to Megaton for there to be any real threats, but, I still have to be sure. The only time I ever hurt anyone was when Cain was in trouble with those Raiders. Since then, I've gotten a bit more careful with who I let get near me. Seeing that, made me realize sometimes, adventures aren't fun.

"What are you doing?"

It's my dad. I hear his familiar voice, and let my gun go as I turn around to face him. He has the same expressionless look on his face. One that never really seems to change. I shrug, and sigh at him. I know better, than to try and hide things from him or mom anymore.

"Thinking, I guess."  
"About what?"

Something's up. Dad isn't one to be open and talk. He's usually one of those 'well if you say you're okay, I'm not going to pry' guys. He leans against the boulder that I'm sitting on, staring off at nothing on the horizon. Folding his arms in front of his leather armor, he waits patiently for my response.

"I don't know. Everything I guess. You and mom. Cain. Where my own life will go."

"I see."

"Yeah, that boring stuff."

"…I don't know, if I want to…I don't know, dad."

"Want to what?"

He looks at me, and his blue eyes, the same ones I have, soften. I rub the back of my neck, too ashamed, and not good enough, to look him in the eye.

"If I can be me, and still fill your shoes."

Dad blinks, and looks away at the world. He says nothing, so I decide to elaborate.

"It just feels like, because of what you and mom did, I have this predetermined fate. Like, I have no choice in the matter. I don't…I can't even get Cain to talk to me anymore. I'm not even sure, of who I am."

"It takes more, than seventeen years, to find yourself and who you are, Dizzy. Some people, go their entire lives, without finding their purpose, or whom it is they're meant to be."

"That's depressing, dad. And you and mom know. You guys know, and did all these things and I can't even…I can't…"

I hang my head low, defeated and tired. It isn't even evening yet, just maybe late afternoon, and already I feel like I spent the day running around.

"It took many years, Dizzy, for your mother and I to figure out who we were, and what we wanted. Everything that happened in between, was simply a learning experience."

"But you changed the Capital Wasteland!"

"It was not our choice, until later. In the beginning, much of our adventures were forced upon us, or stumbled upon."

It doesn't matter. Back then, there were enemies. Something to fight for. Something is better, than the nothing I have. At least, if I had someone like the Brotherhood or Enclave or even Talons, I would have someone to fight. A victory, I could bring home. Something for them to approve.

"Perhaps, if you had a better understanding of everything, it would be easier to understand."

Dad says to me, and I look at him. He has a calm look on his face, and he glances down at me.

"You told me all there is to be told, dad."

"No. Not everything. Your mother and I told you a summary, due to the pressures of time. We failed, to go into detail."

I sigh, and light a cigarette. Pulling my knees to my chin, I let the warm wind flutter my short dark hair around.

"What more things, amazing things, did you and mom do? Because…you know, there's no way I can ever measure up."

Looking up at him, he smiles down at me. Reaching over, dad puts an arm around me, and kisses the top of my head.

"The amazing things you speak of, came with a price. As you grow, and learn, Dizzy, you'll begin to see there is so much you have yet to understand. You're young, very young, and have decades to learn."

"Learn what, though?"

"Learn about everything, and the first thing you should know, is things sometimes do not go according to plan. There are setbacks, and disappointments in life, that will seem impossible. Make you feel, as if you wish to give up and never move on. But, if you can learn from them, you can become stronger, and discover things about yourself you never knew before."

"Is that what your parents told you?"

This time dad sighs. He lights his own cigarette and sits down beside me. We're silent, for a while, watching animals off in the distance do their animal things. There's something in dad's eyes, that wasn't there before.

"You're old enough now, to know the truth. To know, where your bloodline comes from. It will be a good starting point, in finding yourself."

"I want to leave this week. In three days. I want to go now, dad."

He sighs again, and we take drags of our cigarettes. The silence between us is thick. As if dad is holding back something.

"I was never able, to meet my parents. Dezbe and I…were maybe not the best parents, due to our lives and where they brought us. But know, that we tried. Know, that despite what you and Cain do, we will stand beside you two, with love, and pride."

"What do you mean? Cain and mom said you were in a facility. The same place Cain came from. They said you were trained. Didn't your parents know?"

Dad shakes his head, and I take the conversation a bit more seriously.

"I was orphaned, Dizzy. I spent, my entire life, in a facility learning only to obey, and to fight. To be the best mercenary one could ask for. Before I met your mother, I was in all rights and purposes, blinded and bound to a contract. I was the best in the arena. The best my makers could have wanted. It was by the orders of those who trained me to kill, that murdered my parents. With me, at the base of the gun. You are already aware, that I am pre-war. I have been around now over three-hundred years. Saw the after-effects of the war, and spent the rest of my time in Underworld. It no longer exists, but it was where I resided, until Dezbe came."

"…So…you're really, the most deadly thing in the world, aren't you?"

"Yes. I still am. For as long as I exist, I suppose. And yet, I still have not discovered who I truly am. But that is where you come in. And Cain."

"Me and Cain?"

"Yes. By seeing, how you two act, reinforces personality traits I never knew I had. Because I see myself in you, Dizzy. You are a part of me. One, that, until your birth, I never knew existed. So you see, Dizzy, it can take a long time, to fully find yourself. And being so young, you should not worry. I have no doubt you will live as long as I, or longer. There is time now, to take advantage of what you have."

"What do I have?"

"You have parents who are feared and respected throughout the land. Resources and allies, because of that, you have not met. Ones who will help you along the way, in your adventures and endeavors. You have our love, and our hope. And, in the background, you have Cain. And when you leave, he is to take on the roll of protecting you. The roll I had, when I met your mother."

"But you said…it was a contract?"

"Which your mother obtained. And I was to protect her, at all costs. In due time, it became an emotional thing. When I began to learn, to feel, as normal people do. But your mother and I, did not meet and fall in love. It was a time-sensitive thing. Very, time sensitive."

"So…you had to protect mom because a contract told you?"

"Yes."

"…But I thought, that, you and mom met, and it was some romantic love that made you protect her."

Dad exhales plumes of smoke, and I feel like I have tons more respect for him, than I did before.

"It was, eventually. When it became that, your mother was untouchable. There were instances in which we were compromised, but, for the most part, she was protected. And Cain, will take that roll, too."

I look at my dad as I toss my cigarette down. Mom and dad's life seems so much more complicated now. And more in depth than there's time to hear. But I feel really sad for dad. He never, let anything hint, that there was once a time where he was not himself. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I hold back tears. He throws his own cigarette into the dirt, and wraps an arm around me.

"He…we can't even talk now, without it being a fight, dad. How can you be so sure? If I die, Cain dies, so…so how do I know he won't protect me, just to keep himself alive?"

"Because there is more of myself in Cain, than he wants to admit. It will take something, to rouse him and make him see. But I know him more than he thinks I do. He cares. He loves. And he is one of the most dangerous individuals around. He may not have the training I received, but our protective instincts are just the same. Together, you two could be more unstoppable than your mother and I. Because you two, are stronger, than us."

"How, dad?"

"Because you're the product, Dizzy, of both your mother and I. There's more potential and power in you, than you know. And Cain, is simply, brute force."

"So, I'm the beauty and brains, and he's the brute force?"

"Mildly. Although I wondered if your mother was truly wise in her time, or simply insane."

We laugh, and dad hugs me. I know there's a lot more about them now, than I didn't know before. That their story runs a lot deeper. But just the same, it made me feel better. It makes me feel okay, with being simply seventeen and not knowing my ass from my elbow. I know it's hard to imagine my mom an idiot out here, but, she was. And I know this because dad wouldn't have had to protect her if she wasn't.

And maybe, dad's right about Cain, too. As dad and I start to head home for some food, I think it over. It took something dire, like Cain getting injured, for me to realize how deeply I felt for him. Although Cain has already see me hurt, maybe it isn't enough. He's better with controlling his emotions. Dad says, while we walk, that he denied any feelings for mom in the beginning, too. That it took a lot for him to come to terms with it all, and in the same sense, so isn't Cain. Dad says, he doesn't know how to deal with them, because he thinks they're wrong. Dad, at one point, he tells me, believed all emotions to be wrong and unjust. And that was his struggle. Cain's struggle, is that we're raised as siblings. But…dad says, if we met by chance in the Capital Wasteland, there'd be no moral holding him back.

I think dad, although he doesn't want to admit it, has this outlook. Like there is one person for one person. A soul-mate. And when they meet, it's only a matter of time, before they fall in love forever. Because the way he talks, knowing how deeply Cain is bound to me, makes it seem that way. And I think dad's right. He says I'm able to look past moral and standards, and see Cain not as my brother anymore, but as a man. Because, we're not related. He has dad's DNA, but, is that a relation? And, does it matter? Because Cain was raised to see me as his sister, he's battling his sibling emotions with his 'man emotions' towards me. He still sees me as his sister, and dad says, when he can see me as a woman, it'll all change. And according to dad, there's no better man, than one he's raised and watched his entire life. One, that dad knows, and trusts. One built, to model after dad's very being and existence. And when dad's done talking, I can't tell you, how much better I feel about everything that's happened lately. As if this giant weight has been lifted and sent flying away. Or instead, as if, dad took the weight away, and carries it on his own back.

"You know, dad, I want to tell you something."

I say, as we near our home. The sun is just now beginning to set, and really, Megaton never looked so beautiful before.

"What is that?"

"I love you. And, you're the best dad in the world. Because I don't know, any other parent, who would stand by my side, by Cain's side, after everything that happened. Anyone else…any other parent out here, would have left."

From nowhere, I feel my dad's overly strong and powerful arms wrap around me in a childlike hug. The kinds, a proud parent, gives to kids, when they shoot guns in the house, and know they did something wrong.

"Because, you are my daughter, and we are closer than words can say, Dizzy."

I press my face into his leather armor. It smells just like it did years and years ago, when he'd carry me in his arms, or on his shoulders. No one in the world could hurt me then, and no one in the world can hurt me now.

"You'll always be there, right dad? Even if I can't, be anything like you and mom?"

He hugs me tighter, and I feel my feet lift off the ground. He holds me in front of him, effortlessly, by the waist, so that I can see him at eye level.

"I am with you, forever. When you are hurting, when you are happy, when I am gone. And I will be there, when your journey into the Wasteland begins, giving you the courage you need, and the wisdom, that you have yet to obtain."

He sets me on the ground, and smiles at me, messing up my hair.

"You will understand it all, one day, Dizzy."

"When you are gone, dad, you'll still be with me. I don't think, when people die, they leave their loved ones behind. I think, even now, your parents are with you, and mom's parents are with her. Because it's an endless job. You know, to be a parent."

"And sometimes I think that you have more wisdom than I."

My dad is one in a whole billion. There may be so much I don't know, and a lot I have to learn, but I'm sure that there's only one dad like him. And I'm even more sure, that my dad, is the best. When we get home, mom's sitting at the kitchen table. She's drinking a beer, and offers one to dad. Cain is in the living room, and there's Iguana Bits ready for the taking. I know I'm leaving soon, but when I come home to this, it makes me not want to. But looking at Cain, as he tinkers with his gun, I know I have to leave. Because it'll be the only way, to make him see, we're meant to be. And when that happens, there better be happy ending music.


	52. Chapter 52

We all end up leaving a few days after I talked to dad. Travis comes with us, even though Cain doesn't seem too happy about it. To be honest, Cain and I have hardly spoken. We sleep in the same room, and live in the same house. We're around one another for a good part of the day, but I don't think anything more than a few sentences between us has been said. Probably, because there isn't much more to say.

"We could go to New Vegas?"

Cain mutters, looking at the crudely drawn map in his hand. It's only a map of the Capital Wasteland, so I have no idea where he got the New Vegas idea from.

"Why'd you want to do that? We're Easterners. Besides mom says that place is way dull."

Cain looks at me, and sighs. I sigh too, and light a cigarette. Mom did say that, though. She said New Vegas was like pre-war, albeit she's never been pre-war. But still.

"You talked to mom about it?"

I huff and puff on my cigarette, and give Cain a sideways glance. Travis is too busy looking around at everything. He's not from Megaton, but he says it's been a while since he's left.

"Yeah before we left. Last night, I mean. I asked and she said it was lawful when she was there. Lots of fun, with gambling and whatnot, but she said it was this whole 'fight for power' incident and she didn't like it much. I guess there's strict laws in some places. And lots of gangs. Seems overpopulated."  
"You're talking like you've been there. You've hardly been into the Wasteland, Diz."

"Yeah but I like it out here better. Less people, ya know?"

Cain shrugs and gets back to reading his map while we continue on aimlessly. At least we're heading to the city. Even though it's early, the sky looks threatening. It'll probably rain later, so we should find some form of shelter. On the horizon, the monument looks over everyone. It's kind of mocking to me. I can't figure why. The ruins of the city still stand, and I can see broken buildings off in the distance. I've never seen anything relevant to pre-war, but, I'd still say this was more beautiful than anything.

Sighing, I ash my cigarette and listen to the silence between the three of us. Before we left, Cain expressed his feelings to dad on Travis coming with us. Dad didn't have anything much to say, except that it was something he had to deal with. It took a lot for me to walk away from my mom and dad, believe it or not. After talking with dad, I realized how glorified my mind had made their adventures. When, in reality, it was probably very hard and painful. A measure of pain that I don't think I could ever think to feel. Although I don't know it all, I still have a deeper respect for mom. And for dad. And for the relationship they have. If anything, I still envy them. Because, I really hope, Cain and I can have that kind of happy future.

Looking over at him, I see that he's put his map away. We have no destination. We're just walking. Walking into our own adventure, in the hopes we stumble over something to do. Other than that, there's nothing. Mom said last night, there's plenty of people in the city for us to run into, and many places to explore. I know she's right, it's just finding the people that's the hard part.

"You haven't danced in a while, Dizzy."

I hear Cain say, and I turn my head to the side a bit.

"Yeah well, there's nothing to dance for, I guess. Haven't felt the need to."

"You dance?"

Cain and I look over at Travis, and I nod.

"Yeah I like to dance. I mean, sometimes. I just haven't in a long time. Not something you really start doing in the middle of Megaton."

"You should show me sometime."

I shrug. I don't know what I hope to gain from Travis anymore. He was fun at first, and a welcomed distraction. But, after hearing dad's words, I'm more determined to get Cain to overcome his issues. Travis, really, seems more like an annoyance than anything. Cain hates him.

"Do you even have a gun?"

Cain asks him, and Travis pulls out a small pistol. This doesn't please Cain, but it suffices. He nods and drops the argument.

"I wish Zack came along…"

Cain mutters, and I shake my head. Before leaving, Cain asked Zack if he wanted to come along. But Zack said no, because he'd already gone, and found his place was alongside his dad. Really, Gob and Zack have a very close relationship. Zack even has a close relationship with my parents, too. I think his lack of a mother made him extra close to Gob, but I don't think Gob minds. He gets to teach Zack how to build, invent, and fix things. I like Gob. As far as I know, he's my uncle, and he and dad and mom go decades back. Centuries if you're talking about just him and dad.

"You have Travis to talk to, you know, since my company isn't your cup of tea lately."

I say to Cain, particularly snide since we've been on edge for a few days. He looks over at me, and I try my best to keep eye contact.

"I could say the same about you, Dizzy."

"Let's not argue guys, okay?"

Travis pipes up, trying to stifle an argument as more dark clouds begin to cover the Wasteland.

"Why don't you keep your nose out of personal business?"

Cain says, and I figure I should lay low on this one.

"How is it personal? You're talking right next to me."

"No one asked your opinion. Remember the only reason you're here is because of her. That's all."

"Look buddy, you may scare a lot of people around Megaton, but you don't scare me."

Cain walks over and tries to intimidate Travis with his height. It doesn't work, because Travis is stupid and just folds his arms in front of his chest. They bicker and banter back and forth, their yelling growing louder to nearby travelers, but softer to me as I continue to walk away. Eventually, they'll figure out I'm not sticking around and stop their stupidity.

"It's going to rain, guys. We should probably find some shelter."

I call back to them. It's then they realize I've been walking on, and like predicted, leave their argument behind to catch up to me. Cain reaches me first, and looks up to the sky.

"Grayditch is closest."

"What? You memorize the map or something?"

"Look, it's the closest place, we can almost see it from here. You know how dangerous it is during rain when we're outside of Megaton."

"I sure am going to miss the grass there."

Grass is soft, and the dirt out here is really hard and painful to walk on, almost. But Cain is right. Out here there's a big risks for landslides and sinkholes during the rain. Plus, we don't know if another big storm will blow through. Lest we relive the events of a few weeks ago.


	53. Chapter 53

(Cain)

She brought that annoying piece of shit with us. I can't believe her. She really did it. I'm not sure if she brought him along out of spite, or if she actually likes him. Although I can't figure what she sees in him, dad says a woman's heart is deeper and more vast than the Capital Wasteland. Good luck figuring it out.

Another thing dad told me, before leaving, bothers me. It clogs my mind as we enter Grayditch, and in a haste to avoid these huge fire-breathing ants, find an abandoned home to reside in. While Dizzy sets her pack down, and Travis looks around, I take a seat to let dad's words of the morning sink in. Since leaving it's sort of been go-go-go, so there's been no time to think. Dad told me, that eventually Dizzy will move on. I mean, he didn't say it so bluntly, but that's what he meant. I wanted to tell him that's exactly what I wanted, but I did well in keeping my goddamned mouth shut.

Maybe that's why Travis is with us, though. Because Dizzy likes him, and wants to move on. It's hard, to move on when the person of your interest is constantly around, but, that's how it is. For her entire life, I'll be with her, and she with me. If I die, though, Dizzy lives on. For the past few days, I've been thinking maybe that'd be best. If I died, and all. Not that I'm suicidal or planning to off myself anytime soon, but in general if I died in fight or something, would it make everything better in the long run? I mean, Dizzy wouldn't have to worry, and she could lead a semi-normal life without me. For a while, I thought that was a grand idea.

But then I thought of her sad. I remembered…how upset she was, during the time I was 'broken'. For lack of a better term. It kills me to remember her voice. I could hear everything, feel some things, but I couldn't respond. The pain in her voice, the sincerity…it bothers me. I mentioned it to mom and dad last night, but, they said it was because Dizzy truly cared for me. Immature in her ways and actions, she has a lot of growing up to do. Mom says that's normal, but also says Dizzy's infatuation is more than just puppy love. I think they encourage the relationship so much, because of how hard it was for them to be together. They want Dizzy and I to know, that we can be together whenever we want. That we have freedoms and liberties they didn't. I'm not sure. I don't know.

Looking at her, while she pokes and prods every nook and cranny of the house, I feel warm inside. But it's a painful warmth. Because I know how dependant she is on me. I know how she truly feels, and how she hides it just as well as I do. I'd give anything to be with her, I would, but…I'm not sure if it's my own fears, morality, or something else that holds me back. In the meantime, I have to do all I can to push her away. To make her fall in love with someone else. Even if that thought bothers me to no end.

Rain starts to fall heavily outside, but in the abandoned home, we're save. Hissing sounds from the fire-breathing mutant ants stirs us, and we look towards the boarded-up windows. We can't see through them, but the hissing sounds tell us that the rain bothers them. Well, they do breathe fire, and the rest is left up to logistics.

"When is this rain going to stop?"

Dizzy whines, as she makes her way to the front door. Like a dog she sits in front of it. I know she's eager to go off and find some whirlwind adventure. She's been waiting forever to do it, and it seems the rain is a temporary setback. She's sad, and disappointed. Her hands lay on the door, while her head hangs. Her pants are low enough, so when she leans over I can see her lower back. Still wearing that same tank-top Raider getup, I shake my head at Dizzy.

"It might be all day. It's not so bad."

I say to her, trying to just be a bit nicer. She sighs, and the smell of nicotine soon fills my nostrils. Didn't she just have one?

"Says you. You didn't even want to come out here."

"Hey guys! This bed is huge!"

We ignore Travis, well I do. Dizzy just chooses not to respond.

"Look, I never said that."

I tell her, rubbing my temples. I hear Dizzy get up and rummage through her pack. Opening my eyes, I see she has a bottle of vodka in her hand.

"Hey where'd you get that?"

"Mom gave it to me. Shut your face I don't care how early it is. I'm going to drink until the rain stops."

"Dizzy…you can't go into the Wasteland drunk."

A loud clap of thunder echoes overhead.

"We're not going anywhere anytime soon, idiot."

Travis comes back downstairs as Dizzy takes a swig from the bottle. His eyes light up and he goes over to her. She hands him the bottle, and they begin to pass it back and forth. When Travis goes to hand it to me, I shake my head and push it away.

"He doesn't want to drink because he's a stupid ninny."

Dizzy says, while I lean back in my chair. I didn't sign up to come with this circus. But I have no choice in the matter. Even if I did, I'd probably still come. Because there'll be a time, when Dizzy needs me. And then I'll have to be there for her.

"I'm going upstairs."

Removing myself from the situation is better than dealing with it as a whole. I know in pre-war homes, the upstairs holds bedrooms like the homes in Megaton do. I waste no time in finding one and laying down. Although I'm not tired, I feel exhausted. Staring at the ceiling has been my favorite pastime these couple of nights. Even though we're out of Megaton, I feel like I'm doing just what I did back home. Avoiding Dizzy, while aimlessly staring at nothing, and doing nothing. More thunder echoes outside, and laughter carries up from downstairs.

"We _can't_!"

Dizzy laughs, and I can only imagine what's taking place below me. I don't even want to imagine it. I don't know if Travis and Dizzy have slept together, and I don't want to know if they did. Maybe if he wasn't here, things between Dizzy and I wouldn't be so strained. We'd only have each other to talk to, and eventually we'd have to find a common ground. The problem doesn't lie with Dizzy, though. It's with me, and my hesitant nature to avoid talking about what she wants to talk about.

"Hang on! I have to talk to Cain!"

Dizzy yells. That's sort of a telltale sign she's tipsy, when she yells instead of talks. I hear her feet slamming up the stairs, and down the hall. Eventually her head pokes through the open door of the bedroom I'm in. Our eyes meet, and I feel my heart race. I hate when this happens.

"Hey watcha doing?"

Raising an eyebrow, I sigh at her. She pokes a cigarette out on the door.

"Laying down. Go back downstairs, Dizzy."

She ignores me, and comes in, closing the door quietly behind her.

"I don't want to. I have to talk to you, and…know something before I make a mistake."

I sit up, wondering what's causing the serious tone in her voice.

"What is it?"

I ask her, as she stands at the foot of the bed.

"…You've been avoiding me since…since you woke up. And I want to know…if…anything has…if…"

This talk was inevitable.

"Dizzy, just go downstairs, okay? Have fun with Travis."

"I'm going to sleep with him if you…if you don't answer my questions."

"Wait, why?"

"Because _someone_ out here has to love me."

"Dizzy, love and sex are two completely different things."

"I know that, stupid. Look, I mean. What I meant to ask you was…I know we're stuck together, but I have to know, are we going to be stuck together like this, or will something more ever…"

She trails off. I have a short time frame to think about this. In my silence, Dizzy sits down, and starts to talk again.

"We could run away together. I know, you still see me as your sister. I've stopped seeing you as my brother, because, you're not. But, if you can tell me that there's a chance, I can just leave Travis here and you and I we can…we can run away, you know? Make…make some sort of pact and run away. Find a place, where we can be happy. Over the mountains. Somewhere."

"I don't know how to answer you, Dizzy."

And I don't. Thinking of her with Travis, with any man, makes my blood boil and stomach twist. But she's right. I do still see her as my sister, and that's probably what's holding me back from…doing such things.

"Was what happened between us…nothing? Was it just lust? Because…I thought I knew the difference, between sex and love. But if what we had was just lust, then, I don't know anymore."

"We didn't have sex, Dizzy."

"We almost did."

I sigh, and suddenly feel like throwing up. I love her. I love her more than the sun loves the moon and all else in the world. But I can't tell her. I can't overcome what's holding me back.

"…I don't know what you want, Dizzy. What you want from me. Just…just go downstairs. Have fun with Travis. Do…whatever makes you happy."

"But…"

She has nothing else to say, and I can't think of anything else, either. Standing up, Dizzy looks at me, and shakes her head. Rain falls hard against the walls of the house, and I notice she's hiding tears.

"We've got our entire lives together…and it's not looking so good."

"We can do this, Diz. We just have to figure out a way to make it work."

"You don't want to make anything work."

She's wrong. I want to make everything work. If I could, I would be with her. I would do everything I wanted to do, and everything she wanted me to do. I just can't, though. I don't know why, but I can't keep her in limbo, either.

"…Travis was right. You haven't danced in a while."

I want to keep her in this room as long as possible. I want to keep her away from Travis. Maybe, if I do that, we can make it off of square one and get some sort of decent relationship going. And, I don't want her being with another man. I can't give her what she wants, as much as I want to, but I can't stomach her with someone else right now.

"There's nothing to dance for. And that's not the point of this conversation. If…if there's nothing between us, then I don't understand why I'm here. You…you probably just didn't want me going back to the Raiders. Or something."

"That's not the case. What the hell are you talking about?"

"What happened between us. It wasn't once, Cain. If it was once, I could understand that, but it wasn't. And then you go off and lie to me and yourself about everything. What the hell is wrong with you? Just…talk to me. Tell me the truth, please?"

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"Do you still feel the same way? Was it…did it mean anything?"

I close my mouth and look away from her. I can't answer her. She takes my temporary silence as a resounding 'no' and I hear her leave the bedroom. I watch the door, in hopes it'll open again, but it doesn't. These past few weeks, feel like one big bad day.

Standing up, I make my way towards the boarded up windows. There's nothing to see out of, I know that, but I just want to imagine. Imagine a life, a world, where Dizzy and I can simply be together. Where there's nothing holding her back. Downstairs, something slams against the floor. A table or something, I don't know. As much as I want to go down there, and stop whatever's taking place, I can't. Because what would I say? What would I do? Dizzy would demand an explanation, and I can't give her one.

After a few long moments of self pity, the noise from downstairs bothers me. It makes me angry, as if giant waves are ripping me apart. I want to scream and under my breath I curse the facility that made me. Mom told me, up north, there's a place called the Institute. That it's in Massachusetts, a pre-war state. She said they make androids like me there. Only, I'm probably the most advanced thing in the world, and they'd only enslave me. They wouldn't be able to tell, unless I told them, but still. She said there was a place, and maybe if I went there, I could get information about myself. Maybe even, find a cure to what bonds me to Dizzy.

"No…don't do that."

I hear Dizzy say downstairs. Hearing her voice, strained in pleasure, makes my stomach churn and hurl. I may not be able, to tell her how I feel. I may not be able to give her what she desires, but there are more men in the world, than Travis. Someone better, someone more deserving of her. Someone who'll treat her right, with smarts and wit about them. Not…a bumbling idiot. My mind tells me to stay, so I'm not sure, what's telling me to go.

Prying open the door, I walk loudly down the stairs. I reach the living room to find bare-bottomed Travis atop bate-assed Dizzy, but nothing really taking place. Dizzy's hands are on his chest, like she's pushing him away. It might not be true, and probably isn't, but the thought of him taking advantage of her sends me into a frenzy. I don't hesitate to grab him, and pry him away from her.

"Hey!"

Dizzy yells, while I do my best to avoid looking at her naked body as I hold fast to Travis' arm.

"Get out."

I tell him, stern. He smirks at me, that cocky bitch.

"What? You upset over something, huh?"

With more anger than logic, I pull him to the door.

"You can be dinner to the ants."

Opening the door, I shove him out, naked, and slam the door behind me. Outside, he laughs and tries to get back in, but I hold the knob and put my weight against it. Soon his laughter stops, and his voice turns from sarcastic to serious, as hissing grows louder.

"Cain! Stop it! Stop it! Let him in!"

Dizzy gets up and runs at me. Her bare body a distraction, but not one enough to make me move. Her small fists begin to pelt me, but I know she's holding back. If she wanted to, she could easily pry me away from the door. It confuses me as to why she's doing this. Why she's acting this way.

"Go get dressed!"

"If you didn't want me to fuck him you should have told me so!"

"I don't care what you do!"

"Then why are you doing this?"

Her voice is more pained than angry. I realize, for the first time, I'm seeing Dizzy in the most vulnerable way. She's naked, a bit drunk, with nothing to hide behind. She shows no shame in having her breasts and thighs out for the world to see, but her mind isn't set on that. There's tears in her eyes, and she searches my face for some sort of answers. The pain across her face causes me to let go of the door, but it doesn't matter. Travis' footsteps can be heard running through the mud and dirt miles and miles away.

She's beautiful. A scar here and there, from minor injuries add personality to her skin. Her skin that's becoming tanned. She's petite, but perfect. Damn near perfect, with curves in all the right places, and an air of innocence about her. Her eyes are wide, tearful, and I look away from them.

"…I don't know."

I reply, letting my hand fall from the knob. Maybe, I'm just as vulnerable as her.

"We're alone now. I have nobody to…to keep me distracted from you…"

She says while silent tears fall to the ruined carpet below her feet.

"I know."

Nervously I run my fingers through my hair. I want nothing more than to kiss her. To wrap my arms around her and finish what we started on our journey to The Pitt. But instead I stand still, embarrassed and ashamed. I should have stayed upstairs.

"I don't care about the rain. I'm getting dressed, and we're leaving. I'm going…I'm going to find someone to come with us. Someone to keep me away from you. Because…I know, why you're here."

"…Why?"

"So you don't die. If you had it your way, you'd be back home with mom and dad. You wouldn't have come here."

That's not true. Nothing about that statement is true. But no amount of talking with convince her otherwise. I know this, and she knows this. Even if I wasn't forced to be with her, I still would be, because it's where I want to be. It's…it's where I feel I have to be.

"You should wait until you're sober."

I tell her as she turns her back to me.

"I'm sober, Cain."

"Dizzy just stay until the storm passes. Then…we can find Travis."

"I don't want to."

"We'll find whomever you want, Dizzy."

"It doesn't matter if we do. You won't like them."

She picks up her pants, and shakes them out. I walk over to her, and pick her shirt up for her.

"I'm sorry."

I say.

"No, you're not."

Yes I am. I'm sorry, that I can't be who she wants me to be. That I can't tell her how I feel, and that I've chased away someone who could have made it easier for her. But she wouldn't understand, the anger that blinds me, when she's with someone else. When she's in trouble. When she needs me, and I'm not there to protect her.

"Just give me time, Dizzy."

"You've had enough time. Dad was right. He was right."

"What did dad say?"

Dizzy slides on her pants, and starts to put her top on.

"That you're a coward."

"Dad didn't say that."

"No, he didn't, but compared to him, you are. Because dad went through so much more to be with mom. He went through everything horrible and imaginable, and you…you won't even try."

How she came to realize that about her parents I don't know. I can't call them my own parents anymore, if I want to make any progress with Dizzy. In my mind, they're always going to be my mother, and my father, but I can't address them as such anymore. Because Dizzy is right. I am a coward. But I can also try.

"I…I'm sorry, alright?"

"I didn't grow up alongside you, feeling okay with my feelings about you, Cain. It was hard for me, too. But I accepted them. And this is where it got me. But at least…I want something. At least I'm not still running from them."

I say nothing. She finishes getting dressed, and her eyes burn holes in me. Dizzy takes a few steps closer to me, and her scent fills my senses.

"It's…it's going to be alright, Dizzy."

Trying to comfort her…it fails. She looks up at me, the tears gone dry.

"No, not for us."

"Let me make it alright."

"You wouldn't know how if it slapped you in the face."

That's probably true. Dizzy pushes past me, and puts her hand on the doorknob.

"Are you coming?"

Grabbing her pack and the bottle of vodka, I nod.

"I have no choice."

She nods and opens the door. The rain still falling hard. It doesn't matter to her, though. She presses onwards, our feet sinking in the mud. We say nothing, as I walk behind her. She's heading towards the city, and with each step the pressure in my chest deepens.

Hoping the rain will lighten, I say nothing as I follow Dizzy to the river. It hasn't lightened, and is down pouring.

"Shit."

Dizzy says, and when I catch up to her, I realize why. The river is high, rushing. We're only a few feet from it's rising current, and Dizzy backs away, a bit scared.

"We should head back. It's cold, and raining bad. The river is too violent to cross."

She ignores me, and slips a bit in the mud. Fearful, I grab hold of her arm and pull her back up. She isn't a strong swimmer, and falling in at this point is certain death.

"There's got to be a way across."

"Dizzy we can't! It's too harsh! Look we have to go back."

"You're not the boss of me!"

Pulling away from my arm, Dizzy takes a wrong step, and it all goes wrong. I can't catch her in time, and the mud is too slippery and thick to move quick enough. Before I can prevent it, she slides in, her nails gripping at the mud. It falls in her hands, as the current pulls at her body.

"Cain!"

She calls, and I reach towards her, taking advantage of the precious few seconds. Our fingers graze, but I lose my balance on the incline, and fall backwards as my feet slide from under me. Before I can regain my composure, Dizzy is being swept away.

"Cain!"

The current is smooth, but fast. She tries to get closer to shore, as it pulls her along downstream. Gathering myself, I run after her along the shore. I keep one eye on her, and one eye ahead, hoping to spot something she can grab on to. But there's nothing in sight.

"Help me!"

She screams, before going under. Mirelurks. I remember their existence, and decide running isn't the best strategy. With nothing ahead, Dizzy has a small chance of crawling out. Making a split second decision, I dive in.

The water is icy, and I wouldn't mind if the sun was out. But we're being pelted with chilly rain, and as soon as I surface I feel the cold wind hit my face. The current is strong, but I'm stronger. I can make it to Dizzy, as her arms wave above her head. There's a slight bend in it up ahead.

"Swim to me!"

I yell as the current pulls me closer. I see she tries to kick against the current, but it doesn't do anything, and drains her energy. Holding my breath, I push myself under the water and swim with the water. Opening my eyes, I see her legs kicking violently to keep her afloat. I know I'm close, because it's too murky to see very far away.

Surfacing, I reach forward, and feel my fingers touch the strap of her tank top. With no hesitation, I grab it, and pull her close. Panicking, she wraps her arms around me and holds on for dear life. Coughing, sputtering, she tries her best to breathe.

"Hold on, Dizzy."

I start to swim diagonally towards the shore. Although we're being pulled, and Dizzy's added weight makes it harder, along with my clothes and pack that I didn't think to leave behind, I can do it. Kicking, stroking, I finally feel the soft sand beneath my feet, and drag us onto the mud of the shore. Dizzy lets me go, and crawls away from the river, spitting up water and catching her breath.

"I told you."

I tell her, angry at her choices. She shakes, as I stand. Staying on all fours, her eyes are closed as water drips from her mouth. The rain still persists, with no sign of letting up. Defeated, Dizzy looks up at me.

"This is why you're here, isn't it? To protect me?"

I frown at her, and push down the anger I feel. After all that, we're still on the same side of the river we began on. A bit further from Grayditch, but not too far.

"Come on, get up. You're a mess. We're going back to wait out the storm."

Walking away, it takes a few yards before I hear her sloshing footsteps in the mud. She could have easily drowned back there, I know it, and she knows it. Still, she stupidly holds on to her anger and spite. A simple 'thank you' would have been nice. Something to at least show some appreciation. She was calling my name in despair moments ago. I guess, no matter how angry I am at her, or how upset we are with one another, I'll still do anything I can to save her.


	54. Chapter 54

(Cain)

For the next two months, Dizzy and I do nothing but explore the Wasteland. Between the city and the desert, I get lost as to what she has more fun doing. So far, despite all the people we've met and fought, she's asked no one to join us. After saving her from the river, and returning to Grayditch, she's changed. It seems, that she cares less about her internal battles, and more about the world around her. She shows kindness to some, and anger for others. We haven't spoken about anything, but it doesn't mean I haven't thought of it. For the most part, we've grown closer, and the habit of calling mom and dad 'mom' and 'dad' is broken. Dizzy understands this now, and responds when I say Dezbe or Charon.

I've been thinking a lot, too. Between Raiders, Super Mutants, and meeting people, there's a lot of time to think. Long droughts of silence sometimes plague us, when there's nothing to talk about, or when Dizzy sleeps beside me. I've been thinking about everything that's happened. The incidents between us. With each passing day, I find more and more reasons to be with her. More and more reasons, to look past our upbringing, and tell her to me, she's beautiful.

She hasn't been feeling attractive, due to a new array of small scars. Nothing like Dezbe, but Dizzy is vain, and they affect her. She doesn't want to look as battered as Dez does. She wants to look how she feels. Which, I'm not sure about, really. Either way, the words are always on the tip of my tongue. There just never seems to be a right moment. And when there is, either she falls asleep, or I chicken out. It's frustrating, but I'm patient. I keep her safe in the meantime, by sunlight and moonlight. On more than one occasion, he gun has run out of ammo, and she's sought safety and comfort within my arms, as I finished off what remained of the enemies.

I can't tell you, how right it feels, to hold her. How I feel my purpose is to be with her, to protect her. I understand I am designed to protect an individual, in this case, her. However, I'm not designed to feel anything for them. I've given up, on why I love her. I can't tell anyone, not even myself, why. I've just accepted, that I do. That Dizzy possesses something no other female has. At least, in my eyes. At night, sometimes with the help of liquid courage, she says when she thinks of me, she doesn't feel alone. I would tell her she's not alone, and never will be, and she always replies saying that it's okay with her. That she'd have it no other way, even if we weren't bound by the way we are.

A downside, to all of this, is that Dizzy convinced herself, that I'm only so caring, because I have to be. Because she has to stay near me, or I'll die. It isn't true. I'm with her because I want to. Because I love her. It doesn't matter to me, that without her I'd die, and to be honest I never think of it. I only think of her, and how each night when the stars kiss her to sleep, how much I want to take her in my arms, and make her my own. I hardly remember my life before. Remember what it was like with Erin, or anything. I only remember her. She hasn't held my hand like she once did, and I'll admit, I miss it. I miss the closeness, we once shared, unknowing and naïve.

Right now, we're closing in on the Super Duper mart, just south of Megaton. Dizzy wants to go home. She wants to see her parents, and stay there for a bit. She talks of going to New Vegas, after meeting traders from there. Dizzy has it in her head, that she's going to be some crime-lord-New Vegas-gangster. The traders filled her head with glamour and wonder, and I don't want to argue it. Before she was so against New Vegas, and now it's like a child chasing after a dream. I'd feel guilty, arguing against it.

I'm okay with going home. At least, for a bit. Out here holds so many wonders and freedoms that Dizzy and I had no idea existed before. However, I know my time limit is running out. We've been close these past few days, with no arguments. Finding a tender moment is easy, and I know once we get back home there'll be no time to be alone. Since Dezbe, Charon, Zack and Gob will all want to hear of everything. They'll hog us, until we venture off to New Vegas, and by then Dizzy will be too tired to want to hear anything. It's just trying to conceive a perfect moment, and the perfect words. To tell her I'm sorry. That I'm a complete idiot, and will spend the rest of our lives together making up for the mistakes I made, if only she'd let me.

As our feet carry us past the Super Duper Mart, I sigh heavily in the silence. Dizzy looks at me, and in the back of my mind, I know it's now or never. A leafless tree dies in the background of the night, and I know, I have to take this chance.

"Dizzy?"

She's still looking at me, when my eyes meet hers. I look up, and the stars seem…just a bit brighter, on this moonless night.

"What's up?"

I watch her light a cigarette, and take it from her. I need it more than her. Nonchalantly, she lights another one for herself.

"You know…you'll never be alone, right? Because I'm beside you."

"I know. What else is new? We're stuck with one another for forever and ever."

A shooting star passes above my head, as I stare upwards. But walking, is a distraction. So I stop, with my back to Megaton I face her, dropping our small pack to the ground.

"I have to talk to you."

It comes out faster than I can process it. Dizzy cocks an eyebrow, and nods.

"About…?"

"About us, Dizzy. I have to tell you…things."

"Well if they're bad things can they wait till we get home? We're almost there and I'm really tired."

I shake my head, and stop her from walking past me.

"No, Dizzy they're not bad. Please just listen."

As I collect my thoughts, and try to apologize, try to say what I've always wanted to say, Dizzy's eyes peer off and look at something. She has a strange expression on her face, and I try to ignore it as the words in my mind, form a paragraph of things to say and more. I have to summarize it, somehow, anyhow. I just know I have to say it.

"Hey…Cain, what's that?"

Dizzy says from nowhere, raising her arm to point. I turn around and look. In the near distance, an ominous orange glow emits towards the sky. Smoke billows out, like thick black clouds overhead, and I frown.

"…Fire…it's fire, Dizzy."

"That's…that's Megaton! That's home! Cain! Mom and dad! That's _Megaton_!"

There isn't room for argument or words. She's right. It is Megaton, and it is home. Coming back to reality, and out of shock, Dizzy and I begin to run as fast as we can towards the glow. What happened? What happened to Megaton? It's all I can think of, as we race towards it, not thinking of anything else except arriving.

When we reach Megaton, the citizens are all crowded away from it. Fire and flames reach up higher than I've ever seen before, as people stare in shock and awe. My home is on fire, and I feel numb. Looking over at Dizzy, I see terror and horror across her face. She looks at me, pained.

"Who did this? Where's mom and dad?"

She yells, and people look at us. Quickly realizing who we are, the crowd begins to chatter. I shake my head, telling Dizzy I have no idea and I don't know anything. I know as much as she does, as my eyes scan the crowd looking for her parents. Looking for anyone, a familiar face.

"Cain! Dizzy!"

Gob's voice echoes over the crowd of horrified people. I turn around behind me, and see him staring, wide-eyed and exhausted. Zack isn't too far behind, and I can tell something is wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.

"Where's my mom and dad?"

Dizzy asks, tugging at Gob's arm. He looks at her, and then to me. I know it's bad. I can feel it.

"Mercenaries came from Littlehorn and Associates. They came, and set fire to everything. They took Dezbe, and…I don't know…I don't know where Charon is."

Littlehorn and Associates? Who are they? What are they? What do they want with Megaton? With Dezbe? All of these questions can't be answered. Dizzy looks at me, scared, before running off, yelling that she has to find dad. She runs towards the flames of Megaton, pushing through the crowd. I go to chase her, but decide to plan it out first.

"Gob! I need water!"

I say, tossing him my duster jacket. He nods, knowing it's better to let us go, than try and stop us. I follow him to his truck, which is parked near a small, irradiated puddle. Radiation burns me, but it won't kill me. With no hesitation he soaks my jacket in the puddle, and tosses it to me.

"Bring the truck as close as you can. If we find Charon, he's going to be inured. We need a way to transport him."

Gob doesn't flinch at me calling him Charon instead of 'dad'. I know it's not the time or place to think of this, but I can't help it. Thinking about everything else, except what I'm doing, while I run towards the fires is all I can do. I can't see Dizzy, but I know where she went. The only reasonable place to look at this time of night, would be home. Would be the burning building that once was home. The heat is bad before I even get close to anything, so I throw my jacket over my body and mouth. Using it as cover, and filter, I'm able to breathe, but barely see where I'm headed. Sight, doesn't matter. I was raised here, I know it like the back of my hand. Finding Dizzy won't be hard. I can feel her all around.

As I reach the house, my eyes burn in the thick smoke. The door is open, as flames spill out. I can't call to her, she wouldn't hear me, but I know she's here. It's like I've walked into hell. As if I've done something terrible, and this heat is my punishment. But I can't turn back now. Charon, and Dizzy need me now more than ever. My jacket is still wet, but it's drying quickly. As I enter my home, all I can think about is if I'm given one more second chance, how right I would make everything. How I wouldn't waste it, being scared and pitiful again.

"Dizzy!"

I call, coughing on smoke as I remove my jacket sleeve from my mouth. Through the hot steel that melts my boots, and the noise of falling planks, I hear a small cry. It's in the living room, the stairs are burned away, too hot to climb.

"…Daddy…"

I hear, hardly able to see. I almost trip over Charon laying on the ground, and slip in the blood coming from his head. Dizzy lays next to him, under the smoke, crying and scared.

"Come on!"

I yell, tossing my jacket over Dizzy. She stands, with tears and smoke fogging her vision. Pressing the cloth to her face, I make her breathe before reaching down and grabbing Charon's arm.

"Go tell Gob!"

I choke out through the thick smoke. Dizzy nods, running out of the burning home. With all my strength, I lift Charon up, his arm around my shoulders. He's heavier than me, with all of his leather armor on. His side is hot to the touch, and I know the leather armor probably worked against him.

"Come on Charon, you can do this help me!"

Some of his weight is taken off of me, as he comes to, using his feet best he can. I remember how Dezbe would say 'that's an order' whenever she wanted him to do something. I remember where he came from, where I came from, and something clicks.

"Let's go soldier! Let's go that's an order! You cannot fail! Move, move, _move_! On your feet!"

As if he's a machine, his life comes back to him, as his feet shuffle with mine over the burning floors of our destroyed home. Through the smoke, I bark orders at him until I can breathe. There isn't time to stop, but I take in giant gulps of air as if it's my very life. Charon still hangs on to me, but walks on his own. I know if I let him go, he'll fall and not get up.

"Cain! Cain!"

I hear Dizzy calling me over the crashing noises. Over the crackling fire. As we emerge from it all, she rushes towards me with Gob and Zack.

"Get him into the back of the truck!"

Gob orders, as the three of us work to support one man's weight. Successfully, we lay him down, and the crowd cheers. This isn't a time for celebration, as I jump in the back with Dizzy.

"Dad! Dad! Wake up! Dad!"

She yells, crying, covered in soot. Charon's eyes open, just barely. He breathes, shallow and quick. His neck is burned badly, while his head bleeds violently. It kills me inside, to see the man I call 'father' in such a condition.

"Dezbe…Dezbe…"

He says, his eyes rolling around in his head.

"She's not here, Charon! She isn't here! Stay with us!"

"Where's my mom? Where's my mom?"

"Not now Dizzy! Gob! We have to get to Rivet City!"

Gob and Zack nod as they get into the front of his truck. Standing up I close the back, so Charon can't slide out. Gob starts the engine, and the truck moves. People watch us, as we pass them. They move out of the way, as we leave the burning remains of Megaton behind, and hope to get to Rivet City quickly, and safely.

"Who did this…who did this…"

Dizzy asks, and I shake my head, wrapping Charon's head in my jacket to put pressure on the wound.

"Gob said someone called Littlehorn and Associates. They took mom. I don't know why, Dizzy, but this isn't the time to panic. We have to stay calm."

She shakes her head at me, crying silently, while she holds Charon's hand. He breathes, he's alive, but I don't know for how long.

"I know them! I heard of them! They're in the Scrapyard! That's just north of here!"

Dizzy, what are you thinking? She looks around, and I fear the worst. Reacting before her, I hit the top of Gob's truck. Zack looks back at me, I point to Charon, I point to Dizzy, he nods. He says something to Gob, who slows down just enough, and just in time, as Dizzy jumps out. I have no choice. As much as I want to stay with Charon, I have to follow her.

Hitting the ground hurts. We roll in the dirt, our faces and bodies scraping against the hard ground. Gob doesn't slow down, but instead speeds up, and I know it's the right thing for him to do. When we're able to regain ourselves, we stand, and without any explanation Dizzy is off. Heading north towards the Scrapyard. We've encountered it before, only passing by, but it was enough for her to remember it.

"Dizzy wait!"

I say, running to catch up to her. She doesn't slow down, and makes me walk beside her. Her face is set in something I've never seen before. A strange, and twisted determination that lacks any unreasonable thought. It's a look Charon would get, when asked what he would do, if his family was in danger. I know that look all too well. And it scares me.

"We have to get mom. They took her there."

"How do you know? Dizzy we have to stay with Charon!"

"We have to get mom! I just know!"

There's nothing to argue about. Dizzy is going to go regardless if I try and argue it or not. With her determination and anger on high, there's no stopping her. There's no slowing down, or even preventing anything.

"Cain, I saw the strongest man in the world crumpled on the floor. In the middle of his burning home. Dad wouldn't…dad wouldn't have gone down that easy. Someone had it out for him. Someone purposely waited this late at night to do it. Someone wanted mom."

They had a lot of enemies, but I thought most of them were taken care of.

"As rational as that sounds, Diz, how can you be so sure they…they planned this?"

"Because they knew where mom and dad lived. Nobody else was hurt, Cain. Everyone got out. Dad was the only one left to die."

She's right. He was laying there, unconscious, and if not for her would have burned to death. I don't want to admit it, but it's true. All of it. I shake my head, as my heart continues to race as my adrenaline hasn't worn off. Or, maybe it has, and I'm just working off of what Dizzy's feeling.

"What do we do when we get there, Diz?"

She shakes her head, balling her hands into fists. I wish we could stop, just for a moment. I want to comfort her, make everything somehow alright. But I know that won't happen. I know that we won't stop, because Dizzy won't stop. She's on a mission right now. She's never been more serious about anything before. I feel bad, for whomever we run into out here.

"We get mom back, and hope dad's alive to see her."

I hadn't thought, that the possibly of Charon dying, was high. But it is. He could very well die in the back of Gob's truck. It hurts me, to think of such a great man dying alone, in the back of a pre-war vehicle. But he isn't that weak. He'll hold on as long as he can, and Dr. Barrows is in Rivet City. He and Charon are good friends, and I know he'll do anything to save him.

"I'm with you on this."  
Dizzy nods at my words, not hearing the sincerity.

"You have no choice. You have to jump, if I have to jump."  
"That doesn't mean I wouldn't anyways."

My tone is a bit more stern than usual. Dizzy senses this, and looks over at me. We don't stop walking, but we slow down a bit. I guess in her mind she figures Dezbe isn't going anywhere, and we'll get to the Scrapyard one way or another.

"You say that, but you don't mean it."

"Diz, I don't think this is a good time to pick a fight."

"No it's the perfect time! Goddamned Cain! Mom and dad are in trouble the last thing I need is you…is you fucking with my head. Just shut up. Shut up."

I don't know what I did, but I listen to her. She's right. They are in trouble and we're the only ones batshit insane enough to help them. Then again we're probably the only ones that can help them. After all they've done for us our entire lives, it's the least we can do. If it all ends well, if by some miracle there's a happy ending, maybe Dizzy and I, can find a place for ourselves out in New Vegas.

I shouldn't be thinking of things like this at this time. The sun is going to rise soon, and exhaustion will quickly set in. But with how Dizzy's going, I don't think that'll matter much. I think it'll just be a slight annoyance to her. Dezbe said she had a nasty habit of blowing things up when she was angry. However Dizzy is a product of both Charon and Dezbe. Her reactions, are going to be much, much worse. A tactical strike. Dizzy won't plan it out, she'll plan it as she goes. But her mind is more twisted than I've ever realized.

Out here, I learned that. She would laugh manically, killing people. Torturing them, almost. Her methods were slow, painful, but very effective. It was like by instinct she knew what she was going to do, and how to do it. When I asked her, she simply said she killed in whatever way she felt fit. It was never quick. It was never painless. Granted she never killed anyone innocent, yet, she was still harsh on the enemies. Be it Raiders or Super Mutant. One mutant she crippled his legs, and blew off his limbs one by one with her small gun. It was almost as if she enjoyed it. But I suppose that's a mixture of Charon and Dezbe. Wanting to cause the most harm, and knowing how to cause the most harm. Sick as it is, out here, you can't say it's something you've never seen before.

"…Are you alright?"

I ask her, realizing that…she must be upset. Her entire life, she'd always thought Charon was some invincible being. That nothing could hurt him, or bring him down, or anything. Now she's just seen him half-dead, and I wonder, what's going through her mind.

"…I just found my dad dying, Cain. I'm not really a big ray of sunshine."

I walk closer to her, wanting to offer some sort of comfort.

"You know, he's going to be really proud, and really pissed when he gets better."

Playing it off like the chance of him dying is slim to none is probably the best thing I could do for her.

"Why in the fucking hell would he be proud, Cain?"

"Because his daughter saved his life, and her mother's life. That's something that would make him proud. And he's going to be pissed because someone messed with his family. You know how he gets."

"Your casual tone isn't helping. I know dad's near death. Don't pretend like he isn't."

"I was trying to help. Charon's…he's a lot stronger than you know, Diz."

She shakes her head, wiping tears away from her face. Her entire body is covered in dust and soot. When she wipes at her face, the wet tears make a clean mark, and she looks spotted.

"I _know_ that! But it's still scary, Cain. It's still…he's my _dad_!"

Dizzy was closer to Charon than Dezbe growing up. To us, he was playful, and Dezbe was simply 'mom'. We loved and respected both of them differently. Dizzy, never really expected anything to happen to them. We both didn't. As dumb and naïve people, sheltered, we thought everything was okay and there was nobody left to hurt our parents. I guess that kind of belief system is what got them hurt in the first place. Everyone simply got too comfortable.

"Dizzy I want you to know, that even if something does happen to them, nothing will happen to you."

She looks up at me as we walk, ignoring our sleepiness. Confusion falls over her, and she looks away from me.

"What the hell do you mean?"

"I will die, before I let anything happen to you. Losing them is too much as it is. I won't lose you."

There's determination in my own voice. She hears it, and looks at me.

"You really mean that, don't you?"

"I do, Dizzy. I mean…everything that I say."

If right now was perfect, I would tell her everything. But it isn't the time or place to. I can't distract her, or put my emotions on the frontline. Right now it's about saving Dezbe. It's about making sure she gets to Rivet City, to be beside Charon, where she's always been, and where she's meant to be. Just as Dizzy, is always meant to be next to me.

Stubbornly, I grab Dizzy's hand, and squeeze it. Without looking at me, she squeezes back. Her black hair coated with dust, she sniffs her nose.

"Just breathe, Diz."

I hear her sigh, as we press onwards. If there's any threats in the area, we pay them no mind. My hand holds hers tightly, and I hope she understands. I hope this silence is an understanding. That I'm with her until the end, until there isn't anything left to explore. And not just because I have to be, but because I want to be. Because she's the only one, I want to fight the world with.

"I want dad to be okay…"

Dizzy pulls her hand from mine. I don't know why that sends me over the edge. Jealousy, anger, lust, love, frustration, adrenaline, it all just boils up inside. I just watched the only home I know of burst into flames. Helped drag one of my primary caregivers out of a destroyed building. Leapt from a truck travelling to Rivet City, after being away for weeks chasing my partner into the city and desert. I just can't take it anymore. Grabbing Dizzy's shoulders, I pull her close to me, and press my face close to hers. Not in romance, or lust, or anything, but in seriousness. So she knows I'm wearing thin. So that she understands, you cannot blindly and stupidly run into something like this. Especially, when you've never done it before. She isn't her mother, and she isn't her father, and she needs to remember that.

"Just. Stop. Walking."

I seethe at her, before letting her shoulders go. She listens, looking up at me, a bit scared. Running my fingers through my hair, I light a cigarette to try and calm my nerves. The moon is full and bright tonight, but it gives me no comfort.

"Cain?"

"You can't listen can you? Dizzy you just…you just can't do these things without thinking about them. How hard is that really to understand? How? Can we just stop for one fucking minute and talk about this?"

Her eyes widen as I talk with smoke coming from my mouth. Dizzy has never seen this side of me. But she's never really been in this situation before. She has to think it out. I hate to be so mean to her, but it's the only way she'll listen.

"…What's there to think about? Dad's injured and mom is kidnapped. We have to go get her, Cain. Dad might die."

"I know that! I know…okay? Look. Just stop and think. This…this obviously is what whomever took Dezbe wants. If not, they would have left her to die with dad."

"How do you know?"

"Dizzy is that so hard to get? They could've killed Charon then and there while the raid was going on but they _didn't_. They left him barely alive. Obviously someone wanted to send a message. They want Charon to come after mom. The whole thing is a trap. And we're not going to do any good getting ourselves caught in it."

She's quiet as she mulls over my theory. It might be a lot for her to understand, looking at the situation from an objective point of view, but for the most part, she seems to understand where I'm coming from.

"What do we do then?"

She asks me, and I sigh as I inhale on my cigarette. Shaking my head, I look around at the dark and barren Wasteland.

"I don't know, Diz. I really don't. But heading in there blindly, isn't going to get us anywhere. We'd more than likely get caught up in it ourselves."

"But we can't just stand here waiting. We don't have many options."

"You're right, we don't. But we can rest. If we're tired, our reactions and senses will be dulled. We know nothing of Littlefield and Associates. Not who they are, what they are, or what they do. Only where they are."

Dizzy seems to give up. She sits down in the dirt, folding her arms in front of her chest. Tossing my cigarette to the ground, I sit across from her.

"I'm just saying we should make a plan."

I tell her, feeling tired, stressed, and overwhelmed.

"A plan? About something we don't know? How?"

"I don't know, Diz. I don't."

"…Fine."

Angrily she lays down, her back to me. I know that's the end of our conversation, the end really of anything we're going to say to one another tonight. Dizzy has a way of just shutting down. Of shutting people off. Tonight is one of those nights. I know deep down she's upset over everything. Anyone in their right mind would be. She just doesn't want to talk about it.

Laying down myself, I decide it's best not to press her any further. I know, that Dizzy is a complicated woman. Most of the time, to get anything out of her, you have to pry. Try to rip the words from her mouth. This time, though, it's different. This is something new. Something we've never been faced with before. Something I'm not sure she's good with dealing with. It's been a long night for both of us, though. Tomorrow, we can wake up refreshed, with a better idea of things. Tomorrow, we can go get Dezbe.


	55. Chapter 55

(Dizzy)

Cain is probably the most stupid and insatiable person on this whole world. Not to mention confusing, asinine, cynical, and unadventurous. Sure this time together has been great, but in my head he's still a coward. Neither one of us has spoken about anything really important. Nothing about us, anyways. Which is exactly what I want to talk about. I mean, before it was. Now, I don't really care. There's a lot more going on, than just our silly emotions. Right now, mom is somewhere in the Scrapyard, with some weird company, without dad. And dad is dying in Rivet City, without mom.

I don't really think it's all hit me yet. I think I'm still in shock. Dad's supposed to be the biggest, meanest, strongest guy in the world. He's not supposed to get hurt. But he did. I don't know what happened, really. There wasn't much time to get the full story. All I heard was that there was a raid on Megaton, and they came in, took mom, and left. That's it. And set the entire town ablaze. They took mom from dad, though, and that isn't supposed to happen, either. Mom and dad are never supposed to be apart, because they're meant to stay together. Not like Cain and I, but still. Dad is supposed to keep mom safe. He isn't supposed to let anything happen to her.

I've never seen dad like that, either. I've never seen him hurting, bleeding, or unresponsive. It scared me. Because, if someone can hurt dad, then what's stopping them from hurting anyone else? Dad to me, is invincible. He's a pre-war superhero. But he got hurt, and mom got taken, and now it's up to me to help them. It was supposed to be up to be and Cain, but Cain thinks we need to rest. He thinks that we should plan something, think it through. I know that's probably the best thing to do, but I can't. I can't just lay here, pretending to be asleep, when I can't sleep. When I can't even relax, because all I can think about is the safety of mom and dad.

Cain falls asleep fast, though. It isn't long, before his breathing goes shallow, and his soft snores echo over the sleeping Wasteland. We've adapted to sleeping on the ground in our time out here, him better than me. There's been a lot of good times out here, too. They definitely outweigh the bad. But he still doesn't get it. He doesn't understand how important this is to me. How important it is, for mom and dad to get back together before it's too late. There's little I can do to convince him, so I don't even bother trying. When I know he's asleep, I move as quietly as I can, and use the cover of night as my own personal camouflage.

He's a heavy sleeper, and facing the wrong way, so getting away is easy. I just have to be quick, in case he wakes up from something else. Which, I am. My body is exhausted, and I'd kill for my bed back home to sleep in, but I couldn't go to it even if I wanted to. Because it isn't there anymore. Whoever took mom, and hurt dad, is responsible for taking my home away. They didn't just tear apart a family, but they took our home, too. They took it away without a second glance, and that isn't sitting well with me. Anger, overrides exhaustion and the need for sleep. It overrides everything, really. I've never felt so angry before. It isn't fair.

I know life out here isn't fair, though. I know there's wins and losses and cheaters. But I didn't know mom and dad still had enemies. I didn't know there were still people out here, who had something out for them. My real question is, why didn't they come after me and Cain? Isn't the best way to hurt a mom or dad by taking away their children? Cain doesn't regard mom and dad as his parents anymore. I don't know why, and didn't bother to ask. I've just gotten use to him calling them by their first name. It doesn't bother me, really, it just makes me wonder.

When I woke up today, I had the idea of going to New Vegas fresh in my mind. I wanted to go home, see mom and dad for a bit. Rest up, hang out with Zack and Gob, see some old people, and eat all I could. Then, I wanted to take Cain with me to New Vegas. Because…I figured that it was far away enough. Far away from home enough to the point where…maybe…something could happen. As angry as I am at him, as much as I want to punch him in the face, deep inside, I still have hope. Hope of a place, where there's a lot of laughter, a lot of voices, and a lot of people who have no idea who we are. That to those people, we're simply two dumb kids travelling together. Maybe, to them, we're star-crossed lovers on a whirlwind adventure and we call one another pet-names and have deep, intellectual talks at night. To the people we haven't met out there, we could be anybody. And that would open so many doors for us. So many doors, and opportunities.

Earlier, our crossroads were empty. It was just him, and me. There wasn't anything else. We didn't have to come back to the Capital Wasteland, if we didn't want to. Everything was right there, perfect, precise. It was too perfect, though. I should have known, something would have fucked with my plan. Something, would happen to prevent me from the dream I want. A free life, with Cain, somewhere nobody knows us, so that if we wanted, we could sit and have sex all day in a rented room if we wanted. And nobody, would question anything. Nobody.

It's all different now, though. It all changed when I saw the orange glow of Megaton on fire in the distance earlier this evening. As we both ran towards it, I saw all my hopes shattering. Because…we're stuck here. If mom loses dad, I know leaving her would be the last straw. We couldn't do that. I know if we can't get either one back, and it's too late, then we'd be too sad to leave Gob and Zack. Our obligations will tie us here, no matter the outcome. I feel…I feel like I got ripped off. Like someone was in my head, knew what I was thinking, and did the worst possible thing in the world to prevent me from going. From having what I want most. I may be cold towards Cain, but it doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn't mean, I don't still love him.

When I find the person who did this, and face him, I don't think he'll live very long. Or she. They. They won't. They took my dad from me, and my mom. You don't do that. You don't take my dad, and you don't take my mom away from my dad. That isn't how their story works. They're supposed to stay together forever and ever, and watch as Cain and I go off and be big kids all on our own. They're not supposed to die. They're immortal. They're going to live forever. At least, that's what I thought.

Cain is going to be really angry when he wakes up. But at least he knows where I went. At least I didn't just blindly run off. He knows very well where I'm headed, and should have known I'd take off. I guess with the time we've been spending together, he figures he can trust me. But he can't. At least, not with this. I can't just sleep peacefully while mom might be in danger, and dad might die right now. He has good points, but I don't want to listen to him. I'm too angry to listen. I want to go, and take care of this as quickly as I can. I want everything to go back to normal. Out here, though, I learned fast, that it doesn't matter what I want. If I want it or not, it's going to happen. My voice has no meaning, no leverage. People will not hesitate to kill you. I guess, I always underestimated the dangers out here, because I was never really able to experience them. I know a bit now, not everything, but a bit. The chances of me getting mom back are slim, but the chances are always against me.

Stopping in my tracks, I remember something I should have never forgotten. Looking around, the moon is still high up in the sky, and a wave of fear washes over me. I don't know how far I've travelled. I don't know how many steps I've taken. I don't know, how much distance I put, between myself and Cain. In the midst of my anger, I forgot that the further apart we are, the weaker Cain will grow. The Scrapyard is still a ways away, I think, and by the time I get there it will be morning. The distance might be too much. Should I double back?

Cain's words, about this being a trap, run through my mind. He's right. I know that. But…is this what's supposed to happen? Was I supposed to get so angry, that I momentarily forget that Cain and I can't be too far away from one another? And then by the time I reach the Scrapyard it's too late? If there's an army waiting, they'd kill me. Cain would be dead, or too weak to fight, and they'd kill him, too. Dad…would be alone. If he lives. In thirty minutes, my whole world has changed again. If I survived the Scrapyard, got mom out, I would still be without Cain. It would be me, without my other half. Who do I choose? My mother, or my potential lover who relies on me?

Staring at the sky, at the path leading back to Cain, my heart races. What can I do? Maybe, there's a way, to get both. A small shot, but I have to take it. Cupping my hands over my mouth, I know how easily sound travels out here. I shout and holler Cain's name. I yell loud enough for anyone within a few miles to hear. I can only hope, that Cain wakes up. I even fire my gun for good measure, but I know I can't waste time. It's best to travel by night, because it's much harder to see me.

Yelling again, as loud as I can, I hope he can wake up. I hope he can hear me. If he wakes up and follows, knowing where I'm going, then maybe he won't be so weak. Maybe…maybe he can get to me in time. Going back would waste time I don't have. It would waste time mom doesn't have. I know this sounds coldhearted, cruel, but I can't let dad be without mom. I can't let them not be together. They've lived so much longer, and for so much more, than Cain and I ever have or will. If I lose Cain in this, than at least it was for something worth it. Something noble. Something worth fighting for.

My voice hurts after a bit, growing hoarse. Deciding that, I've stood and done all I could, I continue on. Because I can't stand there all night, hoping he gets to me. I'm only a half an hour away. On foot. Going rather slowly. So, maybe not even that far. Maybe if I ran…no. No I can't turn back, because I have to go and save mom. But what if mom's dead? What if I did all this for nothing? Then nobody wins. Dad dies, Cain dies, mom dies, and I'm alone. No. That isn't how my family works. It takes a lot to kill mom and dad. This certainly won't be the thing that does them in. They're stronger than that. Braver. They're meant to live for so much more than…than this.

I have to try. After all mom and dad have been through, the least I can do is try. I don't know their history in detail, but I know more than once they've put one another at risk. Who am I to be selfish, and cling to Cain like a baby? My life has been so easy until now. I can't run away, because of a hard choice. I have to do all I can to just…to just push forward. But I still feel sad. I feel sad, and alone, and scared. Did mom ever feel this way? When she wasn't with dad, was she afraid, too? I feel funny without Cain. As if a part of me is missing. I know that's cliché but it's true. It's true, and I can't figure out what else to do. I want someone right now, to be with me, and tell me it'll be alright. I've never felt so scared before. I want Cain here, beside me, supporting me, and protecting me.

Tears well in my eyes, and I can't shake them away. I might lose my entire family, and it hits me, as the shock dwindles. Losing mom, losing dad, losing Cain…all in one night. I…I don't think I'll be able to handle something like that. I don't think I'll be able to deal with it. My tears fall down my cheeks, and somewhere in the distance, I hear laughter. I'd give anything, to go back to tomorrow. To be carefree like I was. I guess you never really realize how lucky you are, to be free, until you're not anymore. Everything changed so quickly. Is this how life always is? Changing so fast, you can hardly catch your breath in between? I don't know. All I do know, is that I don't like it. That I want nothing to do with it. It isn't fair. It isn't right.

In the back of my mind, I wonder if maybe, this is how it was meant to be. If maybe mom and dad are meant to outlive everyone, and lose all their friends and family? No. No that's cruel. That's too much of a punishment, for even the most vile person. So…why must mom and dad suffer? Why? I'm younger, and I have a lot to learn. Can't some of their suffering, make their way to me? I guess, though, they've sheltered me from any suffering. From any hurt. From any sadness. That's what parents do. Despite their own hard lives, moms and dads will go to great lengths, to make sure their kids have a worry-free life. They keep them safe, while instead condemning themselves to more pain and hurt. All in the name of family.

I wish…I wish mom didn't do that. I wish dad didn't baby me. I wish they were meaner to me. So then right now, maybe I wouldn't be so scared. As I walk, with each step, if I had it harder, I wouldn't be so worried. Because I'd have it in my head that I can endure anything. At one point, I thought I could. I thought I could take on the world and shrug everyone off. But, being out here, being away…it teaches you things. It changes you. It…it helped me see that, without dad and mom, and especially without Cain, I never would have gotten this far. And then, when I realized that, I got scared. Because then I wondered, if I would ever be okay on my own. I don't know. Maybe I will be. I guess, right now, is a really good test.

It was only a kiss, that started this epidemic between me and Cain. That's it. Just a kiss. A passion-filled, spur of the moment, heat of the tide, kiss. Before then, I had only ever tried to rely on him as a brother. Purposely made myself far and distant to him. And then in one silly, dumb, moment, I couldn't anymore. I couldn't be distant from him. Because, really, all I wanted was him. I felt…I feel, high as a kite, when Cain is with me. As if I'm the strongest woman in the world. Nothing can stop me, when Cain is beside me. Which makes me think. Because I have to wonder, what am I alone? Am I strong? Or am I so dependant on him, that…even the most menial task is difficult?

Lifting my head, I wearily see the sun coming up over the horizon. I realize suddenly, how much I want a cigarette, and how bad my feet hurt. I've been walking non stop. But close, is the Scrapyard, and therein Littlefield. Pausing, I figure, maybe I should watch it rise. Watch the sun rise high up in the way high sky and cherish it. Because I don't know what the next hours will bring. I don't know if walking into that place will be the death of me. I don't know, that even if it isn't and I get mom out, that I'll ever see Cain again. There's a lot I don't know, but there's one thing I do know, and that's that the sun will rise again tomorrow.

I light my cigarette, and watch, as the night sky, slowly brightens. One by one, the stars fade out. They're still there, they're there all the time, but they're hidden by the sun. It's too bright, to see them, but you probably already knew that. As I inhale my cigarette, and exhale smoke, I realize that tears stream down my face. I guess, it's because deep down, when I watch the stars without Cain, my soul…it kind of cries. And I miss him. And I'm so worried about him. And yet, even deeper down, another feeling hits. Assurance, I think it's called. Assurance, that Cain heard me, and the aching I feel inside is only temporary. It could be right, and I hope it is. But most likely, it's just my mind, trying to make me feel better. Minds do that to everybody, on lonely nights and sunrise mornings. You know, I'm not a mean person inside. I don't want to be mean. I can't be mom, and I can't be dad. I can't be anyone, except who I am. And I hope that's really okay. I hope, everyone, especially Cain, understands that. Most of all, if Cain didn't hear me, I hope in the least, he understands, and takes pity on me.

As I walk towards the small shack inside the courtyards, I hear something in the recesses of my mind. I hear, a lovely tune. Someone, plays a song, that's so beautiful it makes me want to cry again. And yet, it's so warming, that it gives me the comfort and strength I need, to mask these feelings, and open the door. Cain…where are you?


	56. Chapter 56

Walking into Littlehorn & Associates, I'm shocked. Because when I open the unlocked door, there's people sitting at desks, doing random things. Of course it takes me by surprise, because really, I expected something more than this. I guess, I thought it was some sort of mercenary group. Or something like Cain and dad came from. Not a bunch of people typing randomly and doing other seemingly useless tasks. Nobody even looks up at me, as I stand in the dimly-lit shack. In front of me, on the far wall, there's a picture of something. I don't know what it is, but it intrigues me. I stare at it for a while, because nobody even bothers to glance up at me. Enough time is wasted, though, and I remember dad dying in Rivet City. Clearing my throat, I try to get someone's attention. But nobody even cares.

"Excuse me…?"

I say, and only one person looks up a me. A man at his desk to my front left. He looks tired and annoyed. I fold my arms in front of my chest.

"Do you need something?"

He asks, and for a minute I wonder if I've gotten the right place.

"Is this Littehorn?"

I ask him stupidly, and he nods in annoyance.

"What do you need?"

There seems to be no sign of mom. There's a door near the painting, but that's about it. Do I tell this person why I came here? I guess so. I mean, I don't know what else to do.

"My mom. My mom is supposed to be here. Where's my mom?"

The man looks at me like I have six heads at first, but then something clicks in his mind. He stands up, and by instinct I place my hand near my gun. Nobody else bothers to look up from their jobs.

"Let me go get Daniel."

"Daniel? Who's Daniel?"

The man raises an eyebrow at me, a bit unsure if I'm serious.

"Daniel Littlehorn. The man that runs the place. He'd know."

I nod my head, acting like I knew all along what I came here for. But the man isn't convinced. Still it makes me feel a bit better. He goes off, disappearing in the back room near the painting. While he's gone, nobody talks to me. They don't care to, I guess. So I stand there, twiddling my thumbs like an idiot and trying to find something to look at that isn't dust. Eventually, though, the man who spoke to me returns. At first, I'm shocked. I expected Daniel Littlehorn to be some big, badass mercenary or something. Maybe even a bit like dad. But he's not. Just like this place isn't at all what I expected. Did Gob maybe get the wrong information? I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"Hello, I am Daniel Littlehorn. Can I help you with something?"

Daniel says. He's an old man, very old. He walks a bit hunched over, and his face has wrinkles I've never seen before. Usually anyone this old is a ghoul or like mom, and don't show signs of age. He, does though. To live to be his age out here is a miracle. Or, he's highly guarded. Something clicks about that, as I talk to him.

"My name is Dizzy. I was told my mother is here."

"And who might your mother be, child?"

He seems so harmless. Dad told me before I left, though, not to be trusting of anyone. That looks can be very deceiving. On this, I decide to listen to him.

"Dezbe. Dezbe Fossum. I need to know where she is."

His eyes light up. At first with worry, but then slowly, it seems, an idea creeps into his mind. Who is this strange, little man?

"I had no idea, that the lady had a child…"

What? With all of mom and dad's fame, you'd think everyone would know. I mean, how often does a Hero of the Wastes come along and save everyone and have babies? Or, rather, baby.

"She does. I'm her daughter. I need to know where she is."

"Clam yourself, she is here. She is safe. At least, she is out of harms way, I mean. Come into my office, Dizzy. We can discuss the matters at hand."

With no other choice presented to me, I remain calm and follow Daniel. As he leads the way into the back room, he motions towards the painting that hangs.

"Dante and Virgil in hell. A representation of the times, don't you think? Ah, it's from a pre-war book. You wouldn't know of it."

That may be true, but I wonder how he himself knows about it. Only dad or Gob know anything about pre-war. Maybe, dad knows about the book, too? Regardless, I follow him into the room. It's small, an nothing short of an office. Behind me, Daniel closes the door. I watch him as he humbly walks around to his desk, and takes a seat behind it. The desk, like him, has seen better days.

"So you claim to be the daughter of Dezbe?"

"I _am_ her daughter. I need to know where she is, and why you took her."

I want to tell him my father is dying in Rivet City. But if he knows mom, then he knows dad. If he's an enemy, knowing that dad is dying probably isn't the best thing in the world.

"Don't worry, don't worry. As I said, your mother is out of harm's way. But before I tell you anything, you must tell me something."

"What?"

"How did you know she was here?"

I sigh, and look around. There's nothing interesting here. I just want to find mom.

"Citizens in my hometown told me it was you who burned it to the ground, and took my mom, leaving my father for dead."

"Oh, did they? And how did your father come out?"

"He's fine. Waiting for me."

Which is a lie but he knows about dad. If you know about dad, you know he's worse to cross than mom sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes.

"Hm. So. You came here in search of your mother, while your father waits idly by? That isn't the reputation your parents have, Dizzy. In fact, history shows that your father often chased your mother."

"Not this time."

He nods his head, and twiddles his fingers.

"So it seems."  
"Why did you take my mom? Whatever price you have, I'll pay it. I have to get her back."

"Relax, relax, we will get to that. First I must ask if you know anything of the Talon Mercenaries?"

Talons? I think vaguely, mom and dad mentioned them in their story to me.

"They were a group of renegade mercenaries."  
Daniel scoffs, and shakes his head. A small smirk creeps across his wrinkled face. I want to kill him, but I know if I do, the hopes of finding where mom is exactly will be against me.

"They were hardly renegades, Dizzy. You see out here in the Wastes, there is an unspoken order. The Regulators, as you must be familiar with, kill the bad. Whilst the Talons, killed the good. Now, without one, the other prevails. With no Talons in the area, the good run free. Too much of one thing can be bad."

"You're not telling me what that has to do with my mom."  
"Patience, patience. As you can see I am an old man. I have seen much in my time here, and I had hoped to pass this business down to my son. As you can see, I have not."

"Why?"

I play along, because it's the only way he'll tell me about mom.

"Because you see, Dizzy, my son was murdered. He was the leader of the Talons, your mother once knew him as Commander Jabsco. God, did she hate him. Hate him enough, to kill him. I was too old then, and sterile due to the radiation, to do much of anything. Lucky for me, my son didn't die in vain. He left a babe. A young baby boy to pass his genes onto. For years, I have waited until he was ready. Now that he is, it was not me, who took on kidnapping your mother, but my grandson. An eye for an eye, a parent, for a parent. Oh Eric is such a joy. He'll be taking on the business, soon. But your mother is not who we wanted, no. She was just easier to apprehend. It's your father, we sought after. In hopes of keeping her here, we wanted him to come. It seems, however, he sends you, instead."

This man, this creepy, old, decrepit man, is responsible for my dad being hurt. He's responsible for my mom being missing. And his stupid and idiotic plan is just beginning. A part of me thinks everything is complete bullshit, because we're not the right family to really mess with. While, another part of me, is terrified. Obviously, mom and dad, will do anything for me and Cain. I think, Daniel knows that, because he's staring at me as if he's plotting something. His long fingers stroke his old and pointed chin as he leans in his large chair.

Thinking of Cain's name brings shocks through my body. I hadn't thought of him until just now, and since getting here, my main objective has been finding mom. It still needs to be, but I can't help but worry about him in the back of my mind. Daniel remains silent, dressed in a creepy pre-war black suit. It's old, worn, and definitely seen better days. I know time is running out, and I have to think, and think fast.

"You seem like a business man."

I say, holstering my gun. Daniel looks at me, his eyebrows raising.

"Yes, that I am."  
"Then how about we make a deal. A business deal."

"Do, go on."

He intertwines his fingers, and I swallow hard, hoping I'm brave enough to do this.

"You take me. Take me, instead of my mom or dad."

"And why would Eric and I do that?"

"Because you were once a parent. Why kill a person, when you can keep their child? Hit them where it hurts, right? My mom and dad would be destroyed if anything happened to me. It would ruin their lives. If you take me, you'll do a lot more damage to my mom, than you ever would if you took my father."

Daniel thinks of my half-assed plan. He strokes his chin again, and stares off into space. My heart pounds in my chest, and nervous drops of sweat start to form on my forehead. Lifting my arm, I wipe it away, and Daniel looks over at me.

"You arise a strong and interesting point. Let me speak with Eric about this. Oh, and if you leave, my associates will make old news of you, young child."

Daniel gets up and walks past me, out of the small office. I feel trapped. I wonder if mom's ever felt this way. I wonder if there's any other solution. I know I'm not as smart as mom, and not as quick-witted as dad, but I have to have something. Mom and dad are meant to be together. They can't be without one another, and I understand that completely. But…but what about Cain? If he's alive, then…what'll become of him? Mom and dad are strong but…to lose the both of us? For what? At what cost?

No. No I cannot think of that now. Right now, the short-term goal is to get mom out of here. No matter what. From there, I'm going to have to play it by ear, and hope someone gets some sort of happy ending out of it. I can't make myself a nervous wreck and worry in the meantime. The more nervous I get, the more they'll see I'm scared, and then they'll see they can do what they want. But if I pretend to be brave, if I act like I'm strong, then they'll think I'm impossible to break. Even if they do break me, I can't let them know. I have to pretend that all they possibly do has no effect on me. Until now, I never really knew what mom must have felt in the past. What I'm feeling now, must have always been ten times worse for her. I just hope, if both Cain and I lose our lives over this, mom and dad can forgive me.

It feels like hours before I hear two pairs of feet heading towards Daniel's office. Holding my breath, I try to count his paces, and the paces of who I suspect to be Eric. The longer I count, the slower they'll get here. At least, that's what I believe. It just brings me comfort. Daniel arrives eventually. Only, it isn't Eric with him. It's mom. It's my mom, and she looks tired, and is covered in soot.

"Mom!"

I yell, not holding back, and throwing my arms around her. She hugs me back, and I notice, she's unarmed.

"Dizzy…I was so worried about you."

She holds on to me tight, and I feel like a baby again. I feel like I'm clinging to my mother, for the protection mother's are supposed to give to their children.

"I would feel bad, if you two never got to say goodbye."

Daniel says mockingly, and I feel mom pull away from me. My mind screams at her not to, but she does. She gives me a look, as if to ask where Cain is, before turning to Daniel.

"You're in big trouble, old man. This isn't the family to pick feuds with."

Mom has a dangerous undertone to her voice, and Daniel reaches over and takes my weapon.

"I'm the only one armed now, Dezbe. I suggest you take your leave quietly. Your threats will go unheard. Come back with an army, if you wish, but your daughter won't be found. Amazing, how the choices you make in your past, can so drastically affect your future."

To my utter shock and dismay, mom says nothing, and leaves. She leaves, and I call for her. I try to chase her out of the office, but the people who once didn't pay me any mind, are now blocking my way. They wrap their hands around my arms, as I call to my mom, like a pitiful child.

"Mom! Mom! Mom come back!"

But she doesn't listen. She just keeps walking, and slams the door behind her. For the first time in my life, I feel the deepest sense of hopelessness I've ever felt.


	57. Chapter 57

(Cain)

My body is weakened, but nothing like the time at The Pitt. I'm slower, and feeling sick. As if I'm going through withdrawals. My heart pumps blood faster and faster, with each mile I walk, and it's not from exhaustion. I know my body, and I know what's happening.

I awoke to echoes of Dizzy's voice, from somewhere far off in the desert. Somewhere, she was calling me. She needed me. And I can't find any trace of her. The only place I can look, is the place where Gob told me they took Dezbe. I've been walking all night, and watched the sunrise from the corners of my eyes. I'm short of breath, and feeling flu-like symptoms. I don't know how much longer I can go, without Dizzy near me. Without being next to her. Without having her to talk to. But, in the very near distance, there is a shack. Something inside tells me it's Littlehorn and Associates. Something tells me, Dizzy is there.

I practically jog the rest of the way. I want to run, but my body is weak and starved. Not in the hunger sense, but for the chemicals I need to survive. The microscopic substances that allow my heart to work and beat. It's hotter out today than most days, and I feel angry that Dizzy up and left. Why in the hell would she do such a thing? Hasn't everything we've seen been enough? Why make this situation worse? She's unappeasable, and eventually going to get the both of us killed.

Nearing the shack, I see the front door begin to open. Slowing my pace, I make sure I watch everything carefully, and remove the gun from my back. With all the strength in my body, I hold back from showing I'm weakened. It has to be Dizzy, it just _has_ to be. She's here, in there, possibly coming out. I can feel it in my bones, in the very cells that crave her presence.

"Dezbe?"

I say in shock, as she closes the door behind her. Lowering my weapon, I rush towards her, the woman I've called 'mother' for so very long. She looks tired, dirty, and there's mischief and anger residing in her eyes. What happened? Where's Dizzy? Dezbe looks up at me, and lights a cigarette, as if everything in the world is dandy. What the hell?

"I was wondering where you went to."

She says, blowing smoke out of her mouth. I say nothing, but stare at her in confusion. Dezbe shrugs, and looks behind her.

"Your father is going to be pissed, you know that? Really, really, pissed."

Dezbe shudders as if she's just thought of something creepy and gross.

"He isn't my father. Where is Dizzy?"

Dezbe seems to ignore my comment, and shakes her head.

"She's inside. She's safe, for now. There isn't much time, though. Where's your father? You look tired, are you alright, Cain?"

"…How can you be so calm? Your daughter is in trouble! Wait, _you_ were in trouble! What the hell happened? Do you even know what happened to Charon?"

Dezbe cocks an eyebrow at me.

"Calm down, one thing at a time. Trust in the fact, your sister is safe for the time being. I can't do anything with no weapon, and a weakened son. We're going to need your father, and I need to know where he is."

How? How can she be so calm about this? She stares at me and smokes her cigarette as if she's queen of the goddamned Capital Wasteland with nothing in the world to worry about. Anger rips through me, but I know I have to keep my temper, and preserve my strength. She's right. Dizzy is alive, and for the time being, safe. If she was dead…I'd know it. I don't know how, but I would. Shaking my head, I put my gun on my back, and let out a sigh.  
"I'm not your son."

I say to Dezbe, and when I look up at her, she doesn't seem too shocked. Her eyes urge me to go on, as she wipes her face with the back of her hand. It only smears the soot around.

"I am not your son, and Charon is not my father. In all rights, you are, but, as far as I'm concerned…you can't be anymore."

"Stop right there."

I listen to Dezbe, because even though I no longer call her 'mom', I still respect her as one, and an angry mother is terrifying. Taking her finger, she draws a line in the dirt at my feet.

"This is the line you never should have crossed. You never should have, yet you did. And it was exactly what you needed to do."

Growing up, she loved to use metaphors on me. It doesn't mean I understood them, or even do now, but I know there's a meaning.

"Charon and I can only rescue Dizzy. It's you, who decides if she lives, or if she dies. Do you understand me?"

"…I think so? Charon's dying in Rivet City. You need to get there, and fast."

"Dying? From what?"

"He was hit hard in the head. He inhaled a lot of smoke. He…wasn't doing so well…"

To my shock, Dezbe laughs. She laughs and throws her cigarette to the ground as if it's the funniest thing she's ever heard.

"What's so funny? This is serious!"

Dezbe holds up her hand, and stops laughing. A cold wind blows, and the sky above although sunny, feels threatening.

"Listen, Charon and I have been in worse situations. This is child's play. A bump on the head, will not kill him, when his woman and child are not present. You don't give him enough credit."  
"You didn't see him!"

"I've seen him wake up from third degree burns, and survive the most severe of bullet wounds. There is next to nothing, that can bring that man down. Now, are you going to listen to me, or not?"

I stare at Dezbe, the woman whom I once considered my mother. Her face is set in stone, stern, secure. There's not an ounce of worry or fright in her eyes. To her, this may not be such a big deal, but, to me, it's everything. It's my life. Dizzy's life. The life of our small, broken little family as it is.

"…Are you even worried about Dizzy?"

I ask her, feeling defeated and hopeless. Inside that shack, is Dizzy, and I'm sure of it. But, I just can't go barging in. I know that, Dezbe knows that, but I just can't grasp it. When I ask Dezbe, if she's worried, her eyes flash over. It's only for a quick second, but they do. She looks up at me, and backs away. Lighting another cigarette, she stares at the sky as if time itself has frozen. When, in fact, time isn't on our side.

"I'm…terrified for her. I'm worried, they'll hurt her before…Charon and I, can return. You alone, with no experience, won't be able to defuse this situation. I know this, and I accept this. I'm scared, that while I'm gone, you'll act rashly, and try to rescue her. When…you can't. You can't barge in there. This has to be calculated. Out here, Cain, you have to learn, and learn fast, that you can't show your enemies any fear or concern. They'll end up just using it against you in the end."

Dezbe looks back at me, and sighs as smoke drifts from her mouth.

"Promise me, you'll just wait. I know, you'll grow weak, but I'll be back. With Charon. Regardless if you see us as your parents anymore, to me, you're my son. And I'll worry about you just the same."

"Megaton was burned. I don't know what's left of it."

Saying that right now probably isn't the best thing, but I can't think of anything else to say. There's nothing left to say.

"Megaton can be rebuilt. Wait here. Stay undetected. They don't know about you."

It's all Dezbe says before she takes off running. Running towards Charon, and Rivet City. Towards Gob and Zack, and the doctors who wait for her. Everything right now, is again, on her shoulders. Her eyes looked tired, as if she didn't want to return to this. As if this aspect of adventuring wore her out.

After a lifetime of saving everyone, she must be tired of it. She must grow wry, and exhausted, with always having someone after her. The Raider base was fun, since they're simply Raiders. But, this, is different. This time, her family is broken apart, and in shambles. I hope she can do this.

I watch Dezbe as she vanishes over the horizon. Only when she leaves, do I take a deep breath of air, and let my body collapse and fall to the ground. Laying down, beneath the hot sun, feels so warm and peaceful. As if nothing is wrong, and the world is right. I want nothing more than to sleep and rest, but I know napping out in the open isn't the best thing for me. I have to stay as close to the shack as I can. I have to be as close to Dizzy, as humanly possible, without risking anyone's safety.

Lifting myself up, I find a shady place behind a pile of scrap metal close enough to the shack, that I can see if anything happens, but they don't see me. Dizzy must be so scared. She must be worried, and she's all alone. The thought of that makes me both angry and sad. I want to rush in there, and help her. I want to tell her that I'm here, and we won't waste anymore time. That everything will be alright. Even if she doesn't believe me anymore, I just want to tell it to her. I just want to say it.

She hasn't believed much of what I've had to say lately. She's stopped caring. She's stopped thinking that, there could ever be anything between the two of us. At least, that's what I think. She's simply stopped. When I would talk to her about the future, she'd just shrug it off. I have to at her side, forever. She knows this, and I know this. But, she seems to see me now, as an annoying assistant, rather than anything else. I know that's all my fault, for waiting so long, but how does one go from being brother to lover? That transition isn't easy, nor quick. It's hard, at least for me.

Rubbing my eyes as I lay against the metal and dirt, I hear voices and the noise of a door opening and closing. Peering over, I see two men walking across the Scrapyard. Where they're going doesn't matter to me, since they don't have Dizzy with them. I turn back around, continuing to rest. Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere fast, and I can't do anything about the situation right now. The only thing I can do, is plan for the future, and make it a bright one.

In the future, Dizzy and I will go to New Vegas. We'll get there, and make a name for ourselves. Maybe, start a business, or something. Open up a casino, even. We'll have adventures getting there, both good and bad. Life can't be all good, or else you'll lose appreciation for it. There has to be hard times and rough patches, so when everything relaxes, you can appreciate it and live in the moment. But, together, Dizzy and I will pull through those rough patches. We can start over, and rewrite our lives together.

Then, the two of us, can start something that I shouldn't have put off. I can finally tell her I'm sorry, and that…there isn't a reason to why I love her. That I simply do, and even if I was another person, with a different life, somehow our paths would've met. Destiny or fate, whatever, Dizzy and I were simply meant to be. I would have fallen for her just the same, had I been another other man in the world.

Taking in a deep breath of air, I open my eyes, and watch the sun above me. It blurs, and I raise my hand up to block it. Dezbe's metaphor swims around in my mind. My entire life, I could never figure out, what any of them meant. Now isn't a time to think of it, but what else can I think of? Can I think of Dizzy in trouble? About what'll happen to her if we're too late? No, I can't. I have to think of anything but that.

Dezbe would always give me metaphors. They'd always be so inopportune, too. I never understood them, never thought I would understand them, and still don't. What did she mean by that? She would always…do this and it drives me insane. Last time she gave me a metaphor, she said that I was going to watch myself fall apart. At least, it seemed like she meant it like that. I think. She said…forever ago, that I needed to stop. That I was losing it. Or something…I can't quite remember.

Sitting up, I groan, frustrated. She called me a garden, once. Said that Dizzy and I had better tend to our personal gardens, before they rotted, and wilted away. Dizzy and I had been fighting over something back then, and after Dezbe said that, we started fighting about how we didn't have gardens. Then, Dezbe pulled me aside, and said I needed to stop being 'bedrock'. She didn't reiterate, she just left it at that. For a whole week, too, she called me 'bedrock'. Charon had to explain to me that it was a very hard sediment. I hadn't known that. I don't even know why I'm remembering all this right now.

But maybe…maybe there's something I'm not seeing. She said, Dezbe, that the beauty of this world, is that it isn't there. That some things are beautiful, because you don't realize them, or realize them too late. I feel weak, but with my fingers, I draw in the dust. As if the metaphors of my life, are coming alive right before my eyes. A timeline, I suppose, I don't know. The drawings mean nothing, but they help me think. Think about what, I can't say. My mind is a flurry of millions of things at once, and at the center of it all, is Dizzy. Just Dizzy, only Dizzy. But there's more. There's more, around Dizzy and my own thoughts. There's…something about myself, that I haven't found yet.

And suddenly, it hits me. Everything all at once, hits me. As if I'm remembering some horrific dream, I lie back down and breathe out. My body finds strength, from somewhere I hadn't ever known existed before. That line, that I never should have crossed…I crossed it, and I can never go back. Is what I'm feeling, acceptance? Acceptance of…of what? Hate and dread and regret all fill me up at once. I'm…alone. For the first time. I'm alone, with no parents, no Charon, no Dizzy. And it makes sense. Everything, finally makes sense.

My entire life, I've been with Dizzy. My entire existence is because I'm programmed, to just be beside someone, to protect them. But external forces changed it all. Emotions became a part of me. I've been locked inside myself, dying to get out, and I never could until right now. Right now, I know what I have to do. I'm meant to save her. To protect her. That line I crossed, is the line of boundaries. I've crossed it. I cannot go back. I can never let Dizzy go. I cannot let myself go. What Dezbe says, what Charon says, holds nothing to me, because it's not supposed to. It's all a test. And I don't intend to fail. I'm sure, it'll become more clear as I figure it out.

Getting up, I steady myself and look around. Mounds of scrap metal that can be used to rebuild Megaton lies all around me. None of it is important, but I have to know my surroundings. There's nothing holding me inside. There's noting to define that this is the Scrapyard. Which is good, because if I want a clean getaway I can't have any obstacles in my path. Turning, I face the small shack that holds Dizzy. There's nobody around it, and I take my gun from my back, and walk towards it.

I want to run, but I can't because I have to preserve my strength. The day is still very young, and it looks as if a storm is coming. If I'm caught in a storm, without Dizzy, I know it'll probably be the end of me. Mainly because rainstorms around here can really mess with everything. But you probably already know that. Nobody appears from the shack as I near it, and nobody is around to enter it. Somewhere far away I hear the noise of some rogue band of Raiders. But they're too far off to be of any issue.

I get to the back of the shack, and I examine it. Wood and steel hold it together. It's not strong, and someone like me could easily break through it. I want to, and get Dizzy out, but I don't know who or what is inside. I have to be careful. There seems to only be one way in and out, which can be good or bad depending on the situation at hand. But as I'm trying to scope everything out, I hear something scraping near my feet. Through the thin wall, I hear a small voice. A voice I'd know anywhere. It's Dizzy's voice. Bending down to where I hear the scraping noise, I see a small hole. One big enough to fit my arm through, but small enough to where I couldn't put my entire forearm in. I place my weapon beside me, and kneel down. Dizzy is on the other side of this wall. I can just feel it.

"Dizzy?"

I whisper through the hole as shadows inside move. Something blocks me from seeing through it, but then that something moves, and is quickly replaced with a big, brown eye. Dizzy's.

"Dizzy!"

I say, happy, overjoyed. I hear her laugh behind the wall, and a hand reaches out to me. I take her small fingers in mine, and my body responds to it instantly. It's like I'm alive again, as if I've woken up from the best sleep. Listening, I can hear her voice clearly through the wall.

"Cain! Cain! I'm so happy! You're safe! You're alive!"

She's crying, I realize. She's crying, not because she's scared, but because she's happy to see me. I squeeze her fingers, holding them tightly.

"I'm here, Diz. I'm alright. Are you okay? What's inside there? Can I get you?"

Her fingers wiggle as she tries to squeeze my hands back.

"I…I don't know. I mean, there's an old man, and four people and…some guy."

"Some guy? Dizzy, who?"

"I don't know! This place has this underground place, I saw it, kinda. There's an underground place and I don't know how many people are inside. It's where they kept mom. Cain, the guy here, he wants to kill dad."

"Nobody is going to kill Charon, Dizzy. Just calm down, and tell me what's going on."

"That's all I know! I'm locked in this stupid room, and there's no way out except a door and it's locked. Where's mom? Did you talk to mom?"

"She went to get Charon. She said she'd be back."

"She didn't even act like she was happy to see me."

I sigh, and let go of her hand. She pulls it inside and looks at me through the hole as I kneel on the ground.

"She did that so they wouldn't hurt you, Dizzy. You have to understand that."

"I do, I guess. I mean, I just…I just want to go home."

I hear her slump against the wall, and her muffled cries. Dizzy and I weren't meant to be in this situation. We always thought, being out here was some sort of fun fantasy. Together, we've learned, it isn't. It isn't fun, and it isn't as glamorous as Dezbe's stories make it out to be. But Dezbe's stories, weren't fun when they were happening, either.

"I'll get you out, Dizzy. I promise."

I see her arm wave in front of the hole, as if she's dismissing me.

"I'll just wait for mom and dad."

"Dizzy!"

She hits the wall in anger, and I realize…she's lost it. She's lost all hope that I'd ever save her. That I'd ever be the hero to her, as Charon was to Dezbe. I know why she believes this, and it's my own fault. It's my own fault, but I don't want her to.

"Dizzy, listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that…I fought you. I fought you, in the same way you fought me. And I regret every minute of it. Do you hear me? I regret it. I was only trying to save myself and I was being selfish. I know why you're mad. But please, Dizzy, just let me show you."

"Show me what?"

Looking around, I make sure nobody is around. I make sure that I am the only human being in the area, before putting my hand through the hole.

"What're you doing?"

She asks me, and I shake my head, forgetting she can't see me.

"I'm getting you out, Dizzy."

Pulling with all my might, I break away the flimsy wood and thin steel, enough to make a hole large enough for Dizzy to crawl through. She looks at me, astonished and back at something behind her.

"I have no gun."

"You don't need one. Come out, and let's go to Rivet City. Come out, before someone finds you."

She's hesitant to come with me. She looks at me, and it breaks my heart.

"…This isn't the time or place! Just…come _out_!"

Reaching in, I grab her arm and pull. She listens to me now, and squeezes herself through the hole best she can. When her entire body is out, I don't hesitate to lift her up, and wrap her in my arms. Her scent, the feel of her, everything sends my body into overdrive. I'm angry at whomever is in the shack, and I'm thankful to have her safe. But I know, the danger is close.

"I'm sorry."

I tell her, feeling her arms at her side.

"…It's fine."

She says, cold, not hearing what isn't being said.

"I came here for you, Dizzy."

"Death was your only other option."

"You know _exactly_ why I came, so let's not play stupid."

Lifting her head as I step away from her, Dizzy watches me. I was blinded, stupid, and sheltered. But now I see it all. I see what this was meant to be.

"Dezbe left me here, not because I can't leave, but because she _wanted_ me to get you out. She wanted me to not listen, and to prove that I could protect you."

"Cain, you're sounding stupid. We both know you're strong and skilled."

Shaking my head, I know she doesn't understand it. As I get my gun, I grab her arm and start to hurry away from the shack. Right now we have to wait for Charon and Dezbe. Because I want them here to see what I can do. Because I want them to know I'm not a complete idiot, and I finally understand what they've been trying so hard to tell me.

"They wanted me to prove, that I would do this for you. Not to listen to them, but for you, Dizzy. And if you don't see that by the time they get here, you're an idiot. And maybe that's my fault, but you have to try to understand."

Dizzy stares a me. A bit confused, as we walk away from the shack and find safety behind a large pile of steel. She's quiet, mulling over everything I've told her. Since I don't fully understand it myself, I'm hoping she's not asking for an explanation. I'm hoping that she'll just…figure it out on her own. Or that maybe together we'll come to realize something.

"…So what do we do now? It's not like…we have a home to go home to."

She asks, and I sigh. I guess sometimes, you have to put everything else on the back burner.

"We wait for them to come back. Megaton will be fine, and the house can be rebuilt easily. We're survivors out here, Dizzy."

Dizzy sits down, looking lost, and looking around.

"Are we? It's not like we know any other life. Mom and dad, they're survivors. They grew up in different places than this. Especially dad. But us? We're born and bred here, Cain. We don't know any other life. We don't know what life was like in pre-war, with all the privileges they had. So, are we really survivors?"

She raises a good point. Sitting down beside her, I sigh.

"I don't know, Diz. We have to fight to live out here, so…maybe."

"You and I, have hardly had to fight anything to survive."

"We're inexperienced. I'm sure that doesn't lessen the value of life."

Dizzy grows quiet, as she looks around at the mounds of twisted scrap metal. It's quiet, and it must be quiet for miles, since sound carries so well out here. The sun vanishes behind a gray cloud for a moment, before appearing again. There's definite signs of a storm coming, and I can only hope Charon and Dezbe get back here soon.

"That old man in the shack, he has a history with mom and dad."

I look over at Dizzy, as she wraps her knees to her chin.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But I'm not scared of him, or his grandson. I'm sure there's worse people out here, than someone who has a decade-grudge on my mom."

"More than a decade."

"A forever-grudge, then."

Smiling at bit at Dizzy, I reach over and take her hand in mine.

"Hey?"

She looks at me, at my hand, and then back at me. Her short hair and big brown eyes shine in the light.

"Yeah?"

Dizzy asks, curious, quiet.

"After this, how about you and I get together and go off to New Vegas? I know you want to, and maybe it's more fun over there."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'd have to come along with you and make sure you don't get into any trouble, but the trip might be fun. Getting there, at least."

"You know very well I can take care of myself."

"Because you never see how I have to clean up after you."

We laugh softly for a bit, as the air around us cools and a warm breeze floats in. Whatever storm is coming, is going to be a big one. But for now, it's calm and quiet. Dizzy and I lie on the ground, hand in hand, while we wait for her parents. The people I once considered my parents. We wait for them, because Dizzy's right. There's no Megaton to go home to for us, and even if we did, Charon and Dezbe wouldn't be there to greet us. Thinking of that, kind of depresses me.


	58. Chapter 58

It isn't long, before the first rainfall hits my face. A small droplet, but one I'm quickly aware of.

"Dizzy?"

I say, trying to rouse her from her sleep. The two of us have been drifting in and out of sleep for an unknown amount of time. I'm not sure how long it's been in between naps and waking up, we're both exhausted from the recent events. Waking her was never easy, but this time she opens her eyes slowly. They find me instantly.

"What is it?"

She asks, her hand squeezing mine. For a minute, she seems scared.

"It's going to rain. We have to get up."

The sun is gone behind a mean cloud. A cloud that covers the sky for as far as I can see. Standing up, I let Dizzy's hand fall from mine, as I try to scope out my surroundings and get a bearing on everything. It's warm still, but not as warm as you'd expect for the Capital Wasteland.

"Cain, it's just a bit of rain."

I turn around and face Dizzy. She stands up, dusting her pants off and reaching for her gun, only to realize, it isn't there. Luckily I still have mine.

"You and I both know what rain can do out here, Dizzy."

"But what about mom and dad? What're we going to do?"

The trip from here to Rivet City isn't an easy one. It's long, and probably has a bit of enemies along the way. I didn't think Charon and Dezbe would be back before nightfall, or even tomorrow morning. Sure enough, they're not. Looking around, I try to figure out the best plan. It'd be easiest to track down to Rivet City, and run into them on the way, so they'd know we were safe. We can let them deal with their issues here with Littlehorn, while Dizzy and I double back to Megaton and see what we can do there. Problem being, we have to cross in front of the shack to get on the path towards Rivet City. The same path I'm sure Dezbe would be taking. By now, I'm sure, they've noticed Dizzy's absence. The fact that nobody's gone looking is both a relief and suspicious.

"…We're in trouble."

I say, as I pull her close to me and draw my weapon. We can't see over the pile of steel, but we can see behind us.

"What? What do you mean?"

"They've noticed you've gone by now, Diz. Nothing woke us up from napping. They know where we're hiding."  
"How do you know? They could think I ran off or something. They don't know about you."

What? They don't know about me?

"What do you mean?"

I ask her, while she rubs her eyes. Sometimes she takes things a bit too nonchalantly. It's quite annoying.

"I mean, they didn't know mom and dad had me, for starters. You're just a big whole kink in their plans. They have no idea you even exist."

"How stupid are these people? Should we even be afraid of them?"

Dizzy yawns and shakes her head. She shrugs, and looks around some more.

"Nope, probably not. I mean, a little old man and his grandson isn't much of a threat to us. Or to mom and dad. And I have their genes. You're just a freako and we know that. If mom and dad can take down military operations, two people aren't much of a hassle."

"You're right on that one."

"The old guy knows dad, though. So if he sees you he'll probably run the other way."

I raise an eyebrow at her as the droplets of rain turn to a light drizzle. Grabbing her hand I start to pull her from behind the scrap metal.

"How would he know Charon and I are one in the same? The family resemblance is hardly noticeable."

"How many six-foot-seven two-hundred something pound men are there in the Capital Wasteland, Cain?"

I shrug, looking around. So far, everything is clear. The shack stands a handful of yards away, looking desolate and lonely. The gray sky looms overhead, and it sends a shudder down my spine. The entire atmosphere right now is far too overbearing, and foreboding.

"Exactly, two. Meaning, that the only two out here have to have some sort of family thing going on. At least some sharing of genes. So, he's going to be scared."

"Your logic terrifies me sometimes."

"I do what I can. Hey, where're we going?"

Dizzy walks closer to me, and I wrap my arm around her waist as I let my hand drop from hers.

"Rivet City. With the rains coming we need shelter, and we can't miss Dezbe and Charon. We have to take the path they'd take to get here."

"Oh. Makes sense, I guess. Hey think there's a real pretty place out somewhere? Like with grass like Megaton has? And mountains? And that white shit dad used to tell us about?"

"Snow?"

"Yeah, that."

"I don't know, Dizzy. Now really isn't the time to talk about it."

It isn't, either. Keeping one eye on the shack, and another around us, I'm trying to make sure we're safe. Dizzy looks around as the rain starts to wet our clothing, which will make travel that much more uncomfortable. Out here, a light rain isn't bad. A warm rain, that is. But when it gets cold, and warm, and starts to rain, things tend to get messy. Landslides are common, and river flooding, as well as mass hysteria. I'm not sure why, but everyone seems to act a bit crazier as the rains come.

I stare at her as we walk, silently, creeping past the shack that holds unknown enemies. Behind her curious face, I know she's scared. Dizzy can pretend all she wants. She can lie, fake it, and laugh it all of as if nothing phases her, but, that's not the truth. She's terrified right now, and unarmed. I don't know what happened in the time she was in there, but I know it wasn't anything severe. It was enough, to scare her, though. I can see it in her eyes. Dizzy can pretend all she wants, but she isn't Dezbe. She's nowhere near Dezbe. And likewise, I'm nothing like Charon. We're our own people, and we need to stop walking in their shadows.

To my amazement, getting past the shed and out of the Scrapyard is easy. It's almost too easy. I figure by now, they've realized Dizzy's absence. But they're probably smart enough to not chase after her. Whomever took her, or took Dezbe, must have decided it was in their best interest to keep back. With both Charon and myself, confronting these two women is near impossible. All we can do now, is continue on the long route to Rivet City. From there, we'll regroup, and head back home to Megaton. Or, what's left of it. After that, though…I'm not sure.

Dizzy, wants to go to New Vegas. And I sort of do, too. But, what about Megaton? And am I really ready to swallow my upbringing and stand beside Dizzy, not as her bodyguard, but as something more? The thought of us together gives me hope, but it scares me back into submission. As much as I want it, as much as I think I'm ready for it, I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can bring myself to move past what we were raised as, and to be something more to her. I want to be, though. More than I can show, or ever say. Absentmindedly as we walk, I feel her hand slip into my own. I'm always bending her. I'm always toying with her mind, her emotions, by doing simple things like this. Like letting her hold my hand. I don't know how much longer it'll be until she finally breaks. I don't know how far I can continue to push her. My commitment to her, is more than just willing to bleed for her, it's survival. It's physical, and emotional. It's every aspect a human form can take. A human mind. And in the back of my mind, I'm reminded, that I am more machine than man. But by now, that shouldn't matter. Dizzy, cares for me, regardless. Yet how can I care for someone else, when I cannot think of even caring for my own being? Or seeing myself as something more than just a machine?

"Cain?"

Dizzy says, as the rain lightens up a bit on our backs. It isn't more than a light drizzle, and I'm hoping the storm is just passing through. Looking down at her icy blue eyes, I feel my insides warm and melt. She squeezes my hand, as fear shines in her eyes for a second. I squeeze back, trying to offer comfort, while my own thoughts race.

"Is everything alright?"

She asks me, when I don't say anything to her.

"Yeah. Just thinking, is all."

"About what?"

About everything. About how it might not be the right time. Or that I might not be the right one, but how there's something between us. Something neither one of us can deny. Something that's there, deep inside, pulling and straining at the both of us. It tells me, I need her more than anything else in my life, and that I love her more than anyone.

"Nothing, really."

I say to her, looking ahead at the fog and mist that spreads across the Capital Wasteland on this early afternoon .

"Mom and dad are safe, right?"

Dezbe probably isn't even in Rivet City yet. She's probably just a few miles ahead of us, trying to get there as fast as she can. Then again, she knows a lot more shortcuts than we do.

"Yeah, they're alright."

"I'm worried about dad…"

"Diz, it takes a lot more, than a bump on the head to due him in. You know that."

"No, not about that. About…I don't know. Don't you think they want a quiet life now? After all they've been through?"

I shrug, letting her hand go, I light a cigarette. She motions for one, and I give in.

"…I think they'll be fine. You're worrying too much. Dez and Charon are perfectly capable of handling themselves."

"And what about you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Do you want to come to New Vegas with me?"

"I really don't have a choice."

Dizzy gets quiet. We smoke cigarettes in silence as we walk, neither one of us knowing what to say next.

"You do, though. Dr. Barrows has all the information on you. You could…probably find a way to get away from me. Then, you could live on your own."

Her idea makes sense. They would have created some sort of failsafe, if anything. But, thinking of not being around her, bothers me. And it's not just because that I have to be for survival, either. It bothers me on an entirely different level. Thinking of no longer being needed by her, hurts. I look down at her, her small body walking and soaked in the rain. All I can think of, is how much I just want to take her away somewhere, where she'll always be happy. Where there's no sadness, no fear, and together we can live peacefully. A place, where she can have her adventures, but still stay safe. A place, with me, and nobody else.

"I want to stay with you, Dizzy."

I tell her, determined.

"…If you stay with me, then how am I supposed to be with anyone else?"

I almost break my neck from turning it so quickly. I stare at her, but she stares at the ground. Stopping, I let my cigarette fall from my hands, and it hisses in the mud.

"Do you want to be with anyone else?"

I ask her, and she stops walking. Turning to face me, Dizzy shrugs. Her hair is dark from the rain, and matted down to her head. The slight rain drips down her oval face, and falls from her chin. If she was crying right now, I wouldn't be able to tell.

"…Someday. Someday, I want to fall in love. And I want that person, to love me too. But, with you around, I won't be able to do that. Don't you think, we deserve to love someone? To live somewhat freely?"

"I never thought of it that way."

"I did. I think about it all the time. I think about…what it would be like…to have someone love me as much as dad loves mom."

She tosses her cigarette down, and suddenly, I feel like I've failed her. That I've failed in showing her I can love her, and that I want to love her. I think, I did.

"If there's a way for me to leave, I don't think I'd be happy with it. Not being around you, when we've been together since birth, is hard to imagine."

"But it'd be something new, wouldn't it?"

New, and unwelcome.

"If it's what you want, I can't stop you. But don't be disappointed, if there isn't a way to get what you're asking."

"No…no I won't be. But it wouldn't hurt to try."

I was supposed to tell her. Before all this crap happened, I was going to. I was ready. I wanted nothing more than to tell her. Tell her everything that was in my mind, and everything that was in my heart. Everything that was there, and that still is. What happened, between now and then? What changed in me? Why can't I muster up the courage to let her know now? I don't know. I don't know why I can't. It might not be the right time. I might not even be the right one, but there's something there. There's something between us. Something, you can't deny.

We continue walking in the rain, in the silence. Inside, my stomach churns. The thought of being away from her, makes shakes and tremors all throughout my body. How did Charon do this? How did he admit to Dezbe his care and love? I don't have any of the brainwashing he did, and I still can't share my secret. I still, can't tell Dizzy, that I need her more than anything in my life. That I want her more than anything in my life, and that I'd miss her more than anyone in my life, and I love her most. I love only her. Knowing…knowing Charon and Dez, though, it was probably Dez who initiated everything. Dez, who started it, and let Charon be free. I wish Dizzy would. Just one more time, and that way, all this pressure would be done with. But she won't. I know her, and I know when she's given up. Just like I know when she's scared, and when she's sad. I know her, better than anyone else.

"…If you find someone, they won't know you like I do."

I say, a bit louder than I had wanted. Dizzy hears me, and from the corner of my eye, I see her turn her head.

"They'll get to know me."

"Yeah. But you won't share old memories with them."

"We can make old memories."

"That's not the same."

"Cain, what the hell is your problem?"

I stare at her as we walk, my hair getting in the way of my eyes. Her blue eyes focus on me, and not on where she's walking. Shaking my head, droplets of rainwater spray everywhere, mixing with the drizzle coming down on us.

"Nothing."

"Well that's a lie and a half because you're being all butthurt."

"Butthurt?"

"My new word."

Right. I say nothing to her, and we keep walking. I have nothing else to say to her. I don't want to talk, anyways.


	59. Chapter 59

(Dizzy)

If he doesn't admit it, then I won't accept it. Waiting isn't in my agenda. I have big dreams, and high hopes. After we get mom and dad, we're gonna go to Megaton, and after we help out there, I'm going to New Vegas. I want to see the world. I want to travel to all the places this world has to offer, and I'll be damned if I'm stuck with him the entire way. Because…because how can you ever make headway with someone as stubborn as him? How can you ever get over a love, when they're always next to you? I've tried, I have. I've given him chances, and he's always ran. He's always let me go. There's only so much a girl can take, before giving up. And I mean, I know he loves me, I know that because I can feel it. Feel it way deep down inside my guts where you get those kinds of feelings. But that's not enough. I want him to admit it. I want him to kiss me, to hold me and love me like people in love do. I want…someone to look at me, the way dad looks at mom. I want someone to love me like that, so badly. Because when you grow up with parents, who are so utterly in love, you too, learn to want it. When mom and dad were together, and it was late in the evening, before bed, you could catch them. Catch them being in love. Dad would hold mom really close, and some pre-war song would be playing, and they'd stand in the kitchen, just swaying together. They've been together for like, half a millennia it's like. I know it's less than that, but still. Decades. When you're together for decades, you'd think the love would fade. But it didn't. Not for them.

And then I'd see them from time to time, being in love. Dad looks at mom, like she's the most beautiful woman in the world. Mom looks at him like she's a small kid, and he's the man who hangs the sun and moon. As much as they loved me and Cain, I always knew, mom and dad loved each other more. I want that. I want that, in the worst possible way. And I want that with Cain. I just want to be the one he loves. But at this point, I don't know if that's possible. I'd have to blow the planet up and kill everyone for him to feel comfortable enough to admit he loves me. Even then, though, I don't think he would. Cain still sees me as a kid. A little sister. He'll never see me as a woman, or an object of lust and love. I'll always just be, his sister in name only. Because, we both know, that's the only thing we have in common now. For seventeen years, we've shared parents. And that's it. He's just mad because he's adopted and I'm not.

Folding my arms in front of me, I follow him and mentally lash out at him. I picture us arguing, and me winning with wit and sarcasm. It makes me less angry, but then it just makes me angry again, because I know I could never win like I want. All our arguments end in passionate love-sex. In real life, they'd just end. There's no kissing and making up. It's just an apology, and it's unfulfilling.

Watching the back of his head, I shudder. He's tall like dad. He is dad, really, in looks and height. Doesn't he realize how hard it was for me to accept my feelings for him, when the semblance he has to dad is so on-spot? It's creepy to love someone who's just a clone. A clone of your father. But you do. You sort out the confusing feelings, and know they're two very different people, and find ways to deal with conflicting emotions. I did it. Why can't he? Why can't he just…accept it? Accept it and let me run away with him? Because he's stupid. But it doesn't matter. Because Dr. Barrows has to know some way to break this bond, some way to make it happen, so that I can go it alone, and he can do whatever his stupid face wants. I can never not love him, if he's always near me.

Cain turns his head to look for me. When his eyes meet mine, I angrily look away and at my feet in the mud.

"You look cold."

I shrug as I keep walking. I end up walking right into him. It makes my heart go 'boom boom boom woosh', but, I swallow hard, and make sure it doesn't show on my face.

"Why'd you stop walking? I want to see mom."

I push past him and keep going.

"At least take my jacket."

He says, taking off the wet Duster coat and holding it out to me. It's soaked, and heavy with water, but his intentions are sincere. I stare at him for a minute, before I accept the weighted-down garment and throw it over my shoulders. It warms me from the inside out.

"Thank you."

I say to him, as he buttons it up, with my arms folded over my chest inside, while the sleeves dangle armless. I wonder, if he still feels the same way? He does, I mean, I can feel it, but…does he? Backing away, Cain gives me a half-assed smile, and motions for me to follow.

"Come on. We have to find a place to rest for the night."

"Cain? If we rest, mom and dad will miss us."

"No. No, they'll be fine. I'm sure if we do miss them, they'll just meet us back home. We can rest up a few days in Rivet City anyways."

"We have to talk to Dr. Barrows."

I remind him, wanting him to yell at me. I want him to yell at me, and tell me his place is with me, and nobody else. That he doesn't want anyone else, and that it's always going to be me. Instead, Cain just nods. It makes me mad, but there's nowhere to run. It's dangerous out here, in the rain, and I have nowhere to run to. When the whole land is flat, at least in this area, he'd know where I was running. And he'd find me. He always finds me.

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

I pause, letting myself catch up to him, so we're walking side-by-side.

"…What was that song, mom would hum to dad?"

Cain looks around, before answering me.

"It was a song about hallelujah. I don't remember the words, really."

"Why'd she sing it to him? There's still a lot I don't know."

"Charon told me it was his favorite pre-war song. That he showed it to Dezbe when they first met, and I guess, they both took a liking to it."

"It has to mean something, right? I remember it was…kind of a sad song."

"Yeah. A sad love song. I guess, in all intents and purpose, it's their song."

"…I wish…someone would love me like that."

"You've said that before."

"Because I want it bad enough."

We stare at one another, defiant and stubborn. If it's one gene we share, it's that we're both too hotheaded for our own good. Stubborn to the core, and never knowing when to admit we're wrong.

"One day, you'll find it."

He says to me, and turns away. I want to yell at him, but instead I yawn and stretch. I didn't get much rest at all. I've been up for almost two days now, and give almost anything to have a warm bed to sleep in. A warm and dry bed, that is.

"Can we find a place to sleep? I'm sort of exhausted…"

"There's an abandoned Raider shack up ahead."

I look over at him, raising an eyebrow.

"You sure do know the land well."

"I can see it."

I feel stupid as he raises his hand and points. Sure enough, he's right. An old home, once occupied by Raiders, stands not too many yards away. You can tell the Raiders aren't there anymore, or else they'd already be after us. Most of the time, there's a look out. If not, then well, the place is vacant. I don't think there's a lot of organized Raiders left, anyways. The Capital Wasteland is pretty barren now, and there's little to fight. Which doesn't bother me a bit. In the city, there's a few Super Mutants, but they're decreasing steadily. Mom says there were ten times as many when she was around my age. She says they can't reproduce, and since there's no place for them to study humans, they can't repopulate. I don't fully understand the workings of Super Mutants. I just know they're fun to fight if you're equipped enough.

"Why don't you and I get there fast? I'm really tired."

Cain looks down at me, and I think he notices my exhaustion for the first time. I've been pushing myself to take the next step for miles. I'm not use to not sleeping, maybe mom and dad are, but not me. Without saying anything, Cain stops walking. I stare at him, getting angry.

"Cain, I'm _tired_. Why're we stopping? The house thing is right _there_."

I whine like a brat. You would too, if you were up for almost a whole day and night. Well, two days. Or one. I don't know anymore.

"Come on, hop on, I'll carry you."

He turns his back to me, and crouches down as he removes his gun.

"What?"

I ask, because I'm confused.

"Come on, hop on my back. I'll carry you. I didn't think you were exhausted."

I don't argue. It's a free ride, and a chance for me to rest. Getting on Cain's back piggy-style, I rest my head in the crook of his neck. He smells like rain, and musk. My eyelids feel heavy, as I feel him lift me from the ground, and the steady pacing of his steps begin. I can hear him breathing, and it relaxes me. My arms hold fast to his shoulders, and my legs grip his waist. If we really do part ways, I'm going to miss him so much. So much, that even just thinking about it hurts inside. But I know that I have to. I have to let him go eventually. I can't keep waiting, and hoping, and wasting my time. I know that I'll live as long as mom and dad, if not longer because I'm immune to radiation, and that provides longevity, but still. I want my forever, to be with someone I love. I want it to start now, and I want to keep it forever. I'm spoiled.

"Hey don't fall asleep there, we're almost to the house."

Cain's voice echoes in my head, and I open my eyes.

"I was just watching the inside of my eyelids."

"Very amusing."

He sounds just like dad. So much so, it kind of scares me. Dad use to say that to mom, when she'd do something childish and immature. It makes me think, and makes me scared.

"Hey, Cain?"

"Yeah?"

"Think that…over time, your mind, will develop like dad's?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know. You'll start to talk and act like him?"

He shrugs, which jolts me.

"I don't know. It's possible. I am him, after all."

"No you're not. You're your own person."

"To an extent."

I tighten my grip on him, and put my head back down.

"You sure are stubborn like him."

"And you sure act a lot like mom."

"That's because I'm her daughter."

"And I am Charon's twin, Diz."

Do you believe in destiny? Or fate? Do you ever wonder, if sometimes, history is meant to repeat itself in some way or form? Because I do. I think, that Cain and I are meant to be together. Follow in the footsteps of my mom and dad, and be like them, to carry on their legacy even when they pass. I think, Cain and I are destined to be together, just like mom and dad are, because we're exactly like them in a lot of ways. We're mirrors of them, a small, broken economy of what they are. I can see that, but I know, Cain doesn't.

"Hey, we're here."

Cain says, and I open my eyes, and lift my head. He puts me down, and opens the door to the old house. Inside, it's warm and dry, with no sign of Raiders. When the door closes, it grows dark. There's an upstairs, and I know from staying in other pre-war homes, that upstairs means a warm bed.

"Here."

I say to Cain, unbuttoning and handing him his wet jacket. Without saying anything, he takes it and lays it on the floor to dry. Our clothes are still soaked, and together we head upstairs to find something to dry off with. Searching the dressers, we find worn pre-war clothes, and go to different rooms to strip, and dry off. A part of me is tempted to put on the pre-war garb, but, I don't. Instead I take off my Raider outfit, and use the cloth to dry my skin best I can, leaving my bra and underwear on. This is a smaller house, and there's only one bedroom. Cain's in the hall, doing exactly what I'm doing. The bed behind me, has never looked more inviting.

When I finish, I toss the pre-war dress to the floor and go to the bedroom door. I hesitate. I want to open this door, and walk into him. Walk into his arms, and have him hold me and tell me everything will be okay. That he and I can run away to New Vegas, and start a new life. A life of love, adventure, gambling, and drinking. Mom says New Vegas is perfect for the person who likes to have fun. A person, who wants to gamble, and play in the casinos. That there's nothing but games, sex, and drinking. Land is cheap, drinks are cheaper, and sex is free. I want to go there. I want to go there so badly, and waste all the money I earn to cards. I want to open my own casino, with dancers, and doormen. Where everyone wears pre-war suits, and I'd dress in the most fashionable outfits. Cain could run it, and I could be his main girl. There'd be lots of women, throwing themselves at him, but it'd be me he always came home to. No other woman would be good enough, and he'd tip his pre-war hat to them and say 'Not tonight, ladies' in this suave voice. But, as much as I want that, I know it probably won't happen. I know, it'll probably remain a fantasy, and I'll end up in New Vegas all alone, with nobody there beside me. Being alone, terrifies me to no end. But I can't let him see that. I can't let anyone see that. Because I'm suppose to be brave. I'm the daughter of Charon, of Dezbe. Their only shared child. I have a lot to live up to. I have a façade to uphold.

Opening the door slowly, I close my eyes so I don't see him naked, if he is.

"Are you decent?"

"Yeah. Yeah I have boxers on."

I open my eyes, and see that he's hung his clothes over the bannister. Never, have I seen such a perfect representation of a man before in my life. His body is fit, toned, and tall. He tosses the pre-war outfit he used to dry himself to the floor, and sighs.

"Why not give me your clothes? They'll dry faster, if they're hung up."

I nod and turn to retrieve them. Handing them over, our fingers graze, and it feels funny. Like neither one of us want to touch each other, but at the same time, we want nothing more. Nothing more than to finish what we started months ago, and put an end to the games we play. It makes my body tense up, and I shudder.

"You alright?"

He asks me, worry in his voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, just tired. A bit cold."

"Go rest in bed. If you get sick, there's no radiation around for miles. You'd be stuck here until I could find some."

Getting sick in Megaton isn't a big deal, even to the people who aren't immune to radiation. Megaton and Rivet City have a good supply of medicine, and even in the Capital Wasteland on the trade routes, there's a caravan to get some medicine off of. But we're off the trade routes, and the nearest one is about three or four miles away. Megaton and Rivet City, even further. I would in fact, be quite stuck.

"Where will you sleep?"

Please, say with me. Even if nothing happens, I just want to feel him close to me. I just want to feel safe.

"I don't know. Downstairs? I'm not that tired."

"Oh. Well, what if someone comes in?"

"I'll be down there to get them. Since, you're unarmed."

"And if they overpower you?"

"Unlikely."

He's cocky sometimes. But we have a right to be. With Charon as a caregiver, who wouldn't be? Dad's the biggest, meanest, and baddest person in the Capital Wasteland. A strong fighter, nobody would think twice about picking a fight with. You'd understand, if your father was as awesome as mine.

"Well, but hypothetically, what if they do?"

"Dizzy, nobody is going to hurt you. Just go get in bed, and get some rest."

"But I don't want to be alone."

It comes out of my mouth and then it's done. I can't stop it. It's there and he definitely hears it. All of a sudden, I want a stiff drink and a cigarette in the worst way. But I know we don't have any liquor on us. Cain looks at me, and his eyes soften. He tries to be hard, like I try, but neither one of us can really be hard to one another, unless we're mad.

"Alright. I'll lay with you. But once you fall asleep I'm going downstairs to keep watch."

I nod, and hang my head low.

"Don't worry, I'll leave the bedroom door open when I go."

"Can I have a cigarette?"

He nods, and points behind me.

"I'll get you one if you get to bed. You're looking pretty worse for wear."

I listen, and head towards the big bed. It's really big, too. And dry. When I get to it, my exhaustion overpowers me. I feel like I could sleep for days, as I get beneath the warm blankets. They're old, and a bit ruined, but I like them anyways. Cain comes in the room, and closes the door behind him. He has two lit cigarettes, and hands one to me as he sits on the edge of the bed. I can hardly keep my eyes open, but the nicotine in the cigarette keeps me awake enough. Cain moves under the blankets with me, and our bare legs touch. I ash my cigarette on the old end table, and watch the smoke curl in the air.

"I'm tired."

I tell him, the sleepiness heavy in my voice.

"Then you should sleep."

"I don't want to yet, I want to finish this cigarette."

Our voices are soft, as if we're kids again, and whispering to one another. We use to do that, late at night, when our parents slept. My parents. I would sneak in his room, and we'd make a blanket tent, and tell scary stories. His, were always better than mine. Sometimes, we'd share silly, childhood secrets. Most of them obvious, but sometimes…they'd mean something.

"Well, finish it fast. You need your sleep."

"Cain?"

"Yeah?"

My tone is serious, and soft. I play with the cigarette between my fingers.

"…If Dr. Barrows can separate us…what'll you do when I leave?"

He sighs, and I watch him exhale smoke. I never want to see him unhappy. I thought, he wanted the same to me. Doesn't he understand, I'd be unhappy without him?

"…I don't know. I'd…stay in Megaton, I suppose."

"You wouldn't adventure?"

"No. Not without you."

My heart skips a beat, and suddenly, I don't feel so chilly. Putting my cigarette out on the table beside me, I pull the blankets up to my bare shoulder. Cain looks at his feet, silent, thinking. I look at him, laying on my side, as he puffs his cigarette deep in concentration. Moving, I press my head to his arm. He lifts it up, and lets me lie on his chest, in the crease of his arm, where it meets his chest.

"Tell me something?"

I ask, as I fight off sleep, the touch of his clammy skin warming me.

"What do you want to know?"

He puts his own cigarette out, and lays down. I feel his breath on my forehead, and I put my arm around his bare chest. He's my almost lover.

"Tell me, what you'll do, when I leave."

"Wait for you in Megaton."

"And if I never return?"

"Then…I'd stay there. Until I went to find you."

"And if you never found me?"

"Then I'd never stop looking."

"Without me, you'll live a normal life. You'll age, and you won't have time, like I do."

"There's a way to fix that."  
"How can you be so sure?"

"If Dr. Barrows can break what makes me stay close to you, then he can make me immune to radiation, too. You said it once yourself."

I can't wake up in the morning, without Cain on my mind. If we separate, it'll kill me inside.

"He can. He's a miracle worker."

Cain pulls me closer to him, his arms wrapping around me. I can hear his heartbeat, as my eyes flutter closed. What I wouldn't give right now, to hear him say he loves me, too. But almost lovers, always bring you heartache.

"Dizzy?"

His fingertips dance along my skin, and it makes me shudder.

"Hm?"

"I want to go to New Vegas, too."

"I want to go alone, I want to find love."

"I want…to go to New Vegas, Dizzy."

I feel his lips against the top of my head. It wakes me up a bit, and I look at him. His eyes are full of sadness, of something I can't read. Something I know that's powerful. That's brought on by our closeness. He always gets that look, when we're close like this. As if it overrides every rational thought in his mind. As if…something inside his build, tells him to forget all the common sense he's learned. I know, because I can feel it, too.

"You can't come with me, because if you're with me…how can I…find anyone else?"

My hair is still damp, and he runs his fingers through it. Droplets of water drizzle on my face, but I don't mind. I can't let him come to New Vegas with me, if he doesn't let himself love me. If he keeps playing these mind games, then he has to stay. He has to stay here, and come find me on his own. When he's ready, to love me, like I love him.  
"You can't go without me. What if something happens? What if you get hurt, and I'm not there for you?"

"I don't think you fully understand what I'm telling you, Cain. You can't come with me, because if you do…then…"

"Then you won't be able to give a goddamn about anyone else and that's how it needs to be. That's how, it _has_ to be."

I'm shocked, and a bit taken aback by his response. I stare at him, in confusion, in hope. He looks down at nothing, avoiding eye contact.

"Cain?"

He looks at me. His blue eyes, his strong jaw, his dark red and brown hair. I don't know what to say, I didn't think this far ahead. Outside, the wind hits the house, making it rattle. Lifting myself up, I look at Cain as I hover over him.

"Say something."

I tell him, and he blinks slowly.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. Say that…"

I trail off, as his hand strokes the side of my face. I want him to say that he loves me. That I'm the only one for him. That he'll be here, beside me, forever. That there's nobody made for me, except him. That together, we can do anything. His hand rubs my neck, my shoulder, my arm. He's silent, we're both silent. The air between us is thick with unanswered questions and unknown answers.

"We can run away together. We can go to New Vegas. Nobody there, will know anything about us. We can…be together there."

I tell him, hinting, and hoping he gets my hints.

"We can…and we…can be together, here, too."

My heart almost stops. I stare at him, wanting to hear more. I beg him with my eyes to go on. Beg him to say all the things he's never said before. We're alone here, with nothing and nobody, except ourselves. But he doesn't say anything. As if it's caught right in his throat.

"We can be together, wherever you want."

I tell him, urging him not to stop talking. Wanting him to say more.

"We don't need to whisper."

He says, as I bend my elbows, and go to lie down again.

"I know, but that's what makes it fun."

"We're alone here."

"Yeah, we are."

"And we're not in any real rush."

"Nope. Just me, and you, whispering in the dark, like we use to."

"Telling stories, and secrets."

I look at him, not yet ready to lie down, and break the connection. It feels like my heart is going to rip right out of my chest.

"We can nap, and when we wake up, we can take our time getting to Rivet City."

I say, smirking a bit.

"We can stay awake, and not worry about anything."

Cain smirks back, and it makes me smile, and feel mischievous. I feel like I'm in for it now.

"Dizzy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He shrugs, and I yawn. I don't want to sleep now. I want to stay awake. I want…to make this last forever. Leaning close to him, I smile, and press my forehead against his.

"I'm tired."  
I say to him, feeling his hand on the back of my neck.

"Dizzy?"

Closing my eyes, I take in his touch.

"Hm?"

"You're not allowed to be with anyone else."

"What?"

"You're not allowed."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not. You're mine."

"That's a bit possessive."

There's playful sarcasm in our voices, with my forehead touching his.

"I don't care. It's the truth."

"What if I am? What if I decide I'm tired of waiting and playing?"

"Impossible. You never get tired of the chase."

"Cocky bastard."

I say, before mustering up all the courage and strength I have deep down inside, to just kiss him. To just fucking kiss him. And I do. I kiss him, and he kisses me back with more intensity and passion than he ever has before. I think, finally, the switch in his head is turned off. For the moment, it's all about us, and I don't want it any other way. His lips, his tongue, everything about him, drives me completely insane. His hands pull me closer, on top of him, and I don't argue. I don't fight it. It's everything I've wanted, and I can wait until he can say he loves me. I can wait, so long as he's mine in the meantime. So long as he's all mine. And in return, I'll wait. I'll wait forever, if I have to. Because we have that kind of time.

Pulling away from me, Cain looks at me, his eyes glossy and filled with the same exact emotion I'm feeling.

"Are you sure?"

He asks, and I nod my head. I'm not stupid. I know what happens, when two people kiss like this, half naked in bed. And I crave it in the worst possible way.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"There's no turning back if we go all the way, Dizzy."

"I know."

"Do you? Do you know what'll happen?"

I shake my head, just wanting him to shut the hell up and kiss me again.

"I'm serious, Dizzy. I'm an advanced machine, android, human."  
"What'll happen?"

I ask, genuinely curious.

"There's no going back. I'm not meant, to feel any of this, and I am. If we do this, I can't imagine, how much worse it'll make our situation. How it'll affect…what I'm programmed to do."

"It can't make it worse, only better. Right?"

He smirks, and nods. Bringing me close to him again, it's like the whole world stops. There is no time, there is nothing we have to worry about. It's just him, and it's just me. I've never in my entire life felt anything like this before. As if finally, what's suppose to happen, is happening. He shifts me below him, and the soft pillows rest beneath my head. My heart beats so loud, people miles away can hear it. The kissing intensifies, as passions grow. It's different, than the encounter we had on our way to The Pitt. It's stronger, more powerful, raw emotion. As the clothes vanish, inhibitions follow. Neither one of us, really gives a shit anymore, about the mental barriers that were placed upon us.

Pleasure, lust, desire, those seem like such trivial things. Such trivial words, to describe what I'm feeling. Not even love, is a strong enough word, to describe what's flowing through me. It can't be described, only felt. It's something you feel, when you know you've found the one for you. When the one for you, loves you, and when you can finally show them that love. Our heavy breathing, and the gasps and moans of pleasure are the only noise for miles and miles. The rain splashes heavily against the house. I'm terrified of what will happen tomorrow, scared if he'll go back. I'm worried, that maybe this will have a negative affect on him. But right now, I can't seem to think about anything, except what I'm feeling.

"Cain…wait…"

I breathe out, scared, nervous, but wanting him to ignore me.

"What is it?"

He asks, kissing my neck, stopping his movements.

"…No…don't stop."

I don't think, anyone in the whole wide world, can ever imagine what this feels like. I don't think anyone knows, what it's like, to finally be loved in return, by the person you love, too. It's something that…only few get to feel. And I'm so sorry, for those who never get to feel it. Everyone, at least once, should feel the way I do now.


	60. Chapter 60

_Sorry for the late update. My old computer died, and I lost job and boyfriend within the same week, and crashed my car. It's been one hectic month, but happily I have a new computer and backed everything up, so I can write. I'll have tons more chapters tomorrow, but I wanted to upload this now, so that way everyone reading this would know that it's almost over, but not quite. Thanks a bunch to everyone who PM'd me and was patient!_

* * *

(Dizzy)

I fall asleep in his arms, and it's the warmest I've felt. It's the most calm, my mind has been, and inside my chest, as I drift to sleep, my heart pounds and pounds. But it isn't the kind of pounding that keeps you awake. Instead, it's the kind of pounding that sets you right to sleep. It makes everything feel okay. That feeling, where if the world ended all over again, it would be perfectly okay. Because you feel, like you'd be okay. Even if it killed you, you'd be okay. That's how I feel, here and now, almost asleep in Cain's arms. In the recesses f my mind, I can hear my mother and my father humming a sultry tune.

When I was a kid, mom and dad would have 'private time' after Cain and I went to bed. Most of the time, Cain and I would sneak from bed, and watch them from atop the steps. They'd almost never catch us, and if they knew we were there, they hid it well. Mom and dad, at night, would quietly hold one another, and dance around the kitchen and living room. There was never any music, and I guess because mom was scared it would wake us. But, mom would hum this tune, and she would close her eyes. Every night, eventually, dad would start to hum with her, and for what seemed like hours, they'd dance together. It was usually dark, too, only a lone candle for light. So, it was really romantic. Cain and I would quietly spy on them, and my head would be filled with hopes of one day, loving someone the way mom loved dad. I saw how dad looked at her, and at a young age, I wished with my whole heart, someone, one day, would look at me like that, too. If you had told me, back then, that it would be Cain, I would have laughed. But deep down, I would have been so happy. Because even then, I loved him. Even then, I had this feeling way deep down inside.

His arms wrap around me tighter, and his soft snores rush in my ear. I think, this is probably, the moist peaceful I've felt him. Usually there's anxiety around him. A certain kind of nervousness. But now, he seems so calm, so sleepy, so…at ease. Outside, the rain softly hits the house, and my body shudders at the thought of it. I don't know why, but it does. I remember the chilly air, the cool breeze, and I push my sleepy body into Cain's even more. We're still naked. But, I don't think that matters. When we wake up, we'll finish getting to Rivet City.

I want to tell mom. I want to see my mom more than anything right now. I think, she left me, because she had to. Because it was for the best. Mom wouldn't just…she wouldn't just leave me like that of her own accord. Maybe I thought that before, but right now, the world just seems to have cleared up a bit. I can't explain it, but I feel like I understand almost everything so much better now. The girl inside of me, wants her mother. I want to talk to mom, and tell her what happened between me and Cain. I want to tell her, that I'm happy, that I'm in love, and that she never has to worry about me ever again. That I'll always be safe, because, I finally have the one I hoped for. I finally have the one whom I've always wanted. It was Cain. It's always been Cain. I want to tell dad, too. I want to tell dad, that he never has to worry, either. Because like him, Cain would die, before letting anything bad happen to me. Just like dad would act around mom.

Smiling to myself, I open my eyes, and look around the dark room. I'm so tired, but I don't want to sleep. I don't want to sleep, because I'm so scared that this is a dream. If it is, I never want to wake up. I never want to move. I want to stay here, forever, undisturbed. It's the most…calm I think I've ever felt in my entire life. I don't want to give it up. I don't want it to end. I wonder, if this is how mom feels for dad? If what I feel, can even compare? I think it can. I think, mom and I, are two very, very lucky people. So lucky, that nobody in the whole world, will ever love like we love.


	61. Chapter 61

(Dez)

"They should be here soon, Charon…"

I say, quietly, sultry, as Charon's hot breath hits my neck. He's not dead, Cain just underestimated him. A bump on the head, a small fire, is far too little, to stop this man. Given what we've lived through, you'd be surprised, how much it takes to bring him down. Especially at this point in his life. Charon has a family now. He has a little lady, and a daughter, to come home and take care of. There isn't time to die, with two important women in your life, and a son, who isn't your son anymore. Gob and Zack are here, too. They're in another room at Vera's. We're waiting for Cain to arrive with Dizzy, so that we can begin the drive back to Megaton. So that we can go back, and start rebuilding it. Doc Barrows of course, will want to check in on Cain and Dizzy before we leave, though. He's already fixed up Charon, but that isn't hard to do. A little radiation, goes a long way.

"And how do you know they'll show?"

Charon asks me, kissing the side of my neck. Together, we lie on a small cot rented from Vera. It hasn't been a long time, since we were here. But right now, as we wait in the darkness, it feels like a lifetime. I feel nineteen again, as the ship moans and groans with steel scraping against steel.

"Because Dizzy is my daughter, Charon. And I provoked Cain a bit. I know they're coming. It's a mother's intuition."

"Yes. I agree."

"You can feel Cain when he's close, or when something is wrong, can't you?"

"Sometimes. It is hard to describe."

I sit up, and light a cigarette. Charon sits up beside me, and takes it from me, helping himself. Used to this, I light another one with no argument.

"Do you think I should get my scars removed?"

Barrows told me of a doctor nobody knew about. An old one, who helped fix androids forever ago. Barrows is the only one left in Rivet City who knows of him. He said that he's the best plastic surgeon around, and cheap, too. That he can fix some of my scars, if I want them fixed. Barrows says his name is Horace Pinkerton, and he suspects he's been around a lot longer than he's letting on.

"I think you should do what makes you happy."

Charon has no opinion on the matter. When I first asked him about it, he said he didn't care what I did, because he loved me for who I was. Which is great to hear, don't get me wrong, but I re4ally want his input.

"I want this removed."

I tell him, my hand touching the torn muscle at my neck. It's the ugliest scar I have, the only one I want to get rid of. The only one that bothers me. It's from the Deathclaw that almost killed me, years and years ago, when Charon was a human. It's the one that changed my voice.

"Well, when the children arrive, we can travel next door to see."

By that, Charon means the broken bow of Rivet City, where Barrows told us this doctor lived. He said since it was infested with Mirelurks, nobody had ever bothered to investigate it. That by chance, he had met Horace Pinkerton. Chance or not, I consider it lucky. Even if the good doctor can't fix me, I want to ask. It wouldn't hurt, after all.

"It feels like forever ago…"

I mutter, quietly as I ash my cigarette on the floor. Charon slides an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"What does?"

He asks, and I yawn.

"Since we had alone time."

Charon is quiet for a minute, his grip on my hip tightening. Looking up at him in the dark, I see the whites of his eyes. I see him slowly inhaling his cigarette, and exhaling smoke.

"Charon? What is it?"

He shifts uncomfortably. Throwing my cigarette on the steel floor, I let it put itself out. There's nothing flammable in the room, what with it being you know, metal.

"Cain."

Remembering that Charon and Cain have that freaky twin sense, I stand up and look at him while he remains sitting.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

If Cain is hurt, Charon will know. And we will have to go find him. Because he is with Dizzy, and that is my daughter. I know in my heart, strong as she pretends to be, she cannot survive out here alone. Not yet. She needs Cain. Charon blinks, slowly, and then tosses his own cigarette to the ground. His eyes meet mine in the dark, and I swear I see him smirk a bit.

"No. Nothing is wrong. But…"

"Charon, you're worrying me. Do we need to get them?"

"Dez, they're perfectly okay. But, Cain will never, survive without Dizzy now."

I raise an eyebrow, and feel Charon's hand touch mine. His fingers wrap around my hand, and he pulls me onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around me, he lets out a long, exhausted sigh.

"They'll be perfectly okay. We have nothing to worry about, ever."

"Charon? You're talking nonsense…"

"They're together, Dezbe. Neither one of us, will lose sleep over Dizzy and her safety again."

I look into Charon's eyes. I don't doubt what he's telling me, but I want to know how he knows this.

"How do you know?"

"I can't describe it, Dez. I just…feel it. I feel when changes occur within Cain. And I feel it now. It feels…the same as when I first realized, I cared for you."

"It could be the hormones. We did just have sex."

"No, Dez. Trust me. They're safe, and they're together. They'll be here soon enough."

"And what about the people? The ones who set our home ablaze and took me?"

Charon hugs me, and lays me down on the cot. He lays beside me, kissing my cheek.

"In time, Dez. We should wait, until Dizzy leaves."

"Leaves?"

"She will go to New Vegas. When Cain and her depart, I will deal with that man. Until then, I want my daughter safe. I want her out of harm's way, before going and starting trouble."

"Really? Because I think it would be great bonding to go slaughter that man together as a family."

"No, Dezbe. This is a happy and confusing time in both Cain and Dizzy's life. We must make it as easy for them, as we possibly can.

When I was younger, I wanted a son first. I wanted a boy, with dark hair and blue eyes. I wanted him to look just like Charon, and be a lady killer. When Dizzy was born, I was ecstatic to have a little girl. She was everything I wanted, with tanned skin, blue eyes, and my mother's black hair. Since Cain was in my life, I didn't feel as if I was missing out on having a son. Childbirth hurts, too, so I made the choice to not go through it ever again. Although, I may want to once Cain and Dizzy leave. After a while, it'll get boring with just Charon and I. I mean, we're going to have a blast when those two finally get the hell out, but it'll get old, as do most things with our extended life do. Maybe when that happens, Charon will be for the idea, of bringing another baby into this world. Maybe, he'll even think of it first.

"So when they show up, we act stupid?"

"Yes. I don't think they would understand how I know. And I want to keep our parental knowledge out of their way. It would be another thing for them to rebel about, anyways."

I laugh, and curl into Charon's body. He's right, on a lot of different levels.

"Charon?"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember when you brought me here when I was sick?"

"How could I forget?"

I smile, as my nose touches his bare chest.

"I just wanted to know if you remembered."

"I do. I remember everything about us, Dez."

"You do?"

"Yes. I never want to forget. I never, want to forget, like I once did."

Charon to this day, not only kicks his own ass over when he was human and a total dick, but also still over the welts he gave me when we first began this adventure together. His memory is so good and detailed, that sometimes I make him tell me stories of us. He remembers the smallest of things, and I love hearing it. It helps keep the romance alive in our relationship. Although without the stories, I don't think our relationship would lack much. We're still just as in love as we were decades ago. If not more. I feel extra lucky to be alive these days. Extra lucky, and extra happy.


	62. Chapter 62

(Dizzy)

I'm not sure what was more fun; the night Cain and I spent together, or the adventure to Rivet City. The whole way there, it felt like this big weight was just lifted. We ran, tossed pebbles at one another, laughed, joked, and just goofed off. I can't remember a time, minus our childhood, where we had so much fun. The feelings of forbidden lust are gone, and we don't feel as burdened anymore. Cain dreaded coming here, to be honest. He said he was unsure of what our parents would think. When I asked him how they would know, all he said was that dad knew, and if dad knew, mom knew. I'm not sure how, really, and I didn't want to ask. It seemed to make him uncomfortable.

"We made it."

I say as we arrive. Rivet City. The last time I saw this place, I was a little kid. Back then, it seemed a lot bigger. The sun is slowly setting behind the ship, making it look all sorts of flashy and dramatic. Dad says there used to be these things called 'movies'. Mom talks about them too. She showed me some from the vault, although I didn't know they were from the vault at the time. Something about 'duck and cover', in case a bomb hit the earth or something. What good that did. Anyways, it looks like that. Not like 'duck and cover', but really this whole 'movie' thing. I'm not sure how to describe it. Definitely cooler than the Vault-Tec ones, though.

"Yeah, pretty surprised about that. Was fairly certain you were going to get us killed."

Lightly, I punch Cain in the arm. To be really honest, though, we hardly ran into trouble. There's no more feral ghouls, really. And the Raiders are really lacking. The only things we had to worry about were the big bugs, and creatures, and what have you. Super Mutants don't lurk in the tunnels, which I'm pretty thankful for. Cain and I have had a hard time dealing with them in the past.

"I'm not _that_ irresponsible."

We begin walking up to the bridge that opens and closes. Mom used to mention that it's open most of the time now. I wonder how long it'll be until the grass in Megaton, reaches here? That is, if the fire didn't burn it all out. Thinking of that fire makes me sick. Even more sick than when I think of that crotchety old man who tried to kidnap me. I must really like my home.

"That's to be decided. Come on, I bet Dez and Charon are having some sort of mental breakdown over us."

"I don't think so. If they were, don't you think they would have come get us? I _am_ their precious child after all."

"No, it's the males who carry on the family name."

"You're adopted."

"It's still a good argument."

"It holds no radiation, Cain."

We laugh together as we enter Rivet City. It's all sorts of shiny. I remember as a kid, they were in the process of cleaning it up. When I asked mom why, she said it was the new hope the land was given after she planted the G.E.C.K. She never did tell me what G.E.C.K stood for, and frankly I don't care to know. Really I'm just happy I wasn't around when mom was growing up. She said it was pretty bad and dog eat dog. When she first said that, I imagined people actually eating dogs. The smaller version of me didn't have the best rationalizing skills.

But back to Rivet City. So, it's all shiny, and chrome-looking. I'm use to places having a Megaton sort of feel, you know. Everything kind of thrown together on a whim. At least, that's what I've seen while out of Megaton. Even in The Pitt, things seemed to be just slapped together with steel. Rivet City, it's different, though. It's an old ship, so they had the interior built for them. Pre-war, I'm guessing. How it survived the war, I can't say. When I asked dad how the world was even still living after something like that, he would just tell me that life always found a way, no matter what. I guess, he was right. One day, I'd really like to hear about his past, in complete order.

"Think dad'll ever tell me his life story?"

Our feet take us on autopilot, as if we've walked this place many times before. People glance up from their conversations in the halls, but quickly look away. Not because they're suspicious, only curious as to who is coming in and going out.

"I don't think so, Diz. You've heard of it, but…you don't want to hear him say it. Know what I mean?"

"I guess."

I really don't, but there isn't much time to argue it. Pretty soon we're in front of Vera's, and there's a robot ready to greet us. But we don't need the robot, because Gob and Zack are standing outside chit chattering with mom and dad. It's mom who sees me first, and I think the smile she gives me is burned into my retinas forever.

Mom gets to me first, then dad. Together they wrap me in a giant hug, obviously happy to see me alive. I mean, who wouldn't? Strangely, they don't say how worried they are. Actually they don't say anything. Just hug. And when they're done, mom gives me this look as if she definitely knows something is amiss.

"I need to talk with you. In private."

Mom doesn't say anything else. Dad gives me a look, as Cain nods. It wasn't like I wasn't going to follow her into the room, but I guess I just needed some silent reassurance.

When we're inside, mom shuts the door. It's a small room, about the size of my own in Megaton. There's a single cot on the wall, and nothing else, except the silvery steel walls. I sit down on the cot, happy to rest my feet, but mom stays standing.

"You know…before you were born, I wanted a boy with blue eyes, and black hair."

I raise an eyebrow, and smirk at her.

"Yeah but you got me. I'm worse. I'm a girl."

Stressed, mom rubs her temples and closes her eyes.

"That I know, trust me. I'm happy, that I got you, I'm just trying to figure out how to start this conversation."

"What conversation?"

"The conversation to help you in life."

I raise my other eyebrow in equal confusion.

"What?"

Mom sits beside me, and I can see in her eyes she's still confused.

"Dizzy, you and Cain…look. There's going to be a lot. A lot that I can't protect you from. And things, things are going to get hard. But you can't leave him. And it's not because of any reason other than how you feel. I've left your father, and he has left me. Some relationships work that way, but sadly, you don't have the privilege to do that with Cain. I want you to understand this. "

"Mom, I do get it. I know it's going to be hard. You're worried. You're supposed to be worried."

"And why's that?"

"Because you're mom."

She laughs a bit, and we both light cigarettes. Mom seems to relax a bit more.

"I'm happy you're safe."

"You should tell me about you and dad."

Leaning back, I feel sleepy.

"What about me and your father?"

"You just said you left him. Were there other women?"

Something stirs in mom. She looks like a sick mixture of hurt, and uncomfortable. I'm about to say she doesn't have to answer when she opens her mouth.

"Diz, there were only two. And honestly, I'm not sure how I got to be that lucky. I suppose, even if there were, though, I would still take him back."

"What? Why?"

"Because we were young and foolish back then. At least I was. Your father…a bit later on. But love, Dizzy. Love is a very powerful drug. Even more powerful than Jet. When you're in love with someone, no matter how much they hurt you, you still just only want to care for them."

That's pretty deep words for the Wasteland. Really, I can't imagine Cain staying very loyal. I haven't thought much about it, but then again there hasn't been time. I've been so busy enjoying the moment, I haven't thought about the future. Maybe that's a good thing, though. Cain doesn't seem like the type to be disloyal. Then again, I thought the same thing about dad, too, and look what happens.

"Either way, Dizzy, there will be hurt, and love. Everything has to balance out. Take the bad, and remember the good."

"Mom, why are you so worried, anyways? If Cain is like dad, I don't have to worry."

"I'm worried about your survival, but mostly, I'm worried about how you're going to be in an argument. I can't lose the both of you."

I can't really argue that, so I hug her. She hugs me back, and it's probably one of the most tender moments mom and I have had together. When we pull apart, she smiles at me, and rubs her fingers through my hair.

"I am so proud of you."

Those words…I had no idea, they would make such an impact. It takes everything I have to keep myself from crying. I don't know what she has to be proud of, but, still. Mom smiles at me, rubbing my cheek with her soft, smooth hand. Pretty soon, the door opens, and dad and Cain walk in. Dad smiles at me, and I can't hold myself back. I hug him. He's my daddy. My one and only. I know there are girls out there, with no dad, or no parents. I feel lucky, to have both of mine. To have them both love me and forgive all the bad things I've done. In fact, I couldn't ask for a better set of parents.

"Diz, what's gotten into you?"

Dad asks, as I squeeze him tighter.

"I just really missed you."  
Which is true. I have missed my dad. A lot. Being with Cain is great, and I was happy, but in the back of my mind I was worried if dad would be okay. I knew he would be, but still. It's scary to see one of your parents like that. All unconscious and whatnot. Plus there was a lot of blood, and…the whole thing was just stupid and worried me.

"I missed you too."

Letting go of dad, I take a step back into Cain's chest. I feel his elbow resting on my shoulder, all casual-like. Glancing up at him, I catch a sideways smile. It makes me sideways smile back.

"Barrows will want to see the both of you. After that we have to go see Horace Pinkerton. From there, we'll go home."

Mom says, suddenly badass and ready to fight someone. Mom's like that. She's either really goofy, or really serious. Dad's always really serious. But they're my parents and I love them.

"But mom, I'm fine. Why do I have to go see Barrows?"

I whine, really not wanting to go. Barrows was always hanging around our house growing up because of Cain. It got annoying. I don't mind seeing him as a friend, but as a doctor it's weird. I guess I just grew to see him as an uncle, and having my uncle give me shots and examine my body is weird. Although he's actually a wonderful guy. I just hate checkups and doctors. Radiation, all the way.

"It's more Cain than you, Dizzy."

Dad says and I smile. That was almost too close for comfort. Cain lifts his elbow off of my shoulder, and I look up at him. He's not at upset at going to see Barrows as I am. Mainly because he's use to it.

"Alright, which way?"

Dad leads us all in line out of the room. Gob and Zack tell dad that they're going to stay behind for us, and when we're done we'll begin the drive back to Megaton. With all the rubble that I saw, though, I wonder how anyone could drive. I've never seen anyone drive anything before Megaton caught fire. Gob was always fixing things, it was destiny that one day something would work. But maybe there's this pathway I don't know about that brings you straight from Megaton to Rivet City with no rubble. Or vice versa, whichever way you're going.

"It's just down the hall."

Mum tells me, but she lied. We ended up taking a lot of turns, and taking stairs down to Dr. Barrows' office. Nurse Graves was with him. I've always liked her, she has this kind, gravely voice. One that really makes you feel like they care, and that you're safe. Although nobody is really safe anywhere out here. Super Mutants could come any minute and try to take over Rivet City and leave nothing behind. But Super Mutants aren't that smart.

Barrows and Graves turn around when we enter. There's no a lot of room in here for all of us.

"Why haven't you moved down to the old lab yet?"

Mom asks Barrows. He puts his clipboard down, and shrugs.

"We're in the process of that. The old lab is where patients rest, up here is where I treat them."

His eyes wander over to Cain, and whatever stress he had sort of dissipates. It's like Barrows was worried about him, or something.

"I'm happy to see you're holding up just fine."

Cain nods.

"Yeah, well, things are…different."

"How do you feel?"

"Same, but different."

"Good or bad?"

"Good."

He shines some light in Cain's eyes, and looks at his teeth. I don't know why, but he did.

"Horace Pinkerton would probably be better suited to see Cain at this point. With no visible injuries, there's nothing I can do. But maybe he would have some words of advice."

Horace Pinkerton? Mom and dad nod knowingly at Barrows.

"Can he be trusted?"

Dad asks, and Barrows shrugs.

"I can't say. I don't know him too well. But I doubt he's dumb enough to pull one over on you two."

With that we leave the room. Cain looks at me, a bit worried, and I take his hand. Squeezing it lightly, as mom and dad walk ahead of us, I give him a look that says everything is going to be okay. Even though I don't know where we're going, or who Horace Pinkerton is. I guess we're about to find out, though.


	63. Chapter 63

(Dizzy)

I'm not sure what was more fun; the night Cain and I spent together, or the adventure to Rivet City. The whole way there, it felt like this big weight was just lifted. We ran, tossed pebbles at one another, laughed, joked, and just goofed off. I can't remember a time, minus our childhood, where we had so much fun. The feelings of forbidden lust are gone, and we don't feel as burdened anymore. Cain dreaded coming here, to be honest. He said he was unsure of what our parents would think. When I asked him how they would know, all he said was that dad knew, and if dad knew, mom knew. I'm not sure how, really, and I didn't want to ask. It seemed to make him uncomfortable.

"We made it."

I say as we arrive. Rivet City. The last time I saw this place, I was a little kid. Back then, it seemed a lot bigger. The sun is slowly setting behind the ship, making it look all sorts of flashy and dramatic. Dad says there used to be these things called 'movies'. Mom talks about them too. She showed me some from the vault, although I didn't know they were from the vault at the time. Something about 'duck and cover', in case a bomb hit the earth or something. What good that did. Anyways, it looks like that. Not like 'duck and cover', but really this whole 'movie' thing. I'm not sure how to describe it. Definitely cooler than the Vault-Tec ones, though.

"Yeah, pretty surprised about that. Was fairly certain you were going to get us killed."

Lightly, I punch Cain in the arm. To be really honest, though, we hardly ran into trouble. There's no more feral ghouls, really. And the Raiders are really lacking. The only things we had to worry about were the big bugs, and creatures, and what have you. Super Mutants don't lurk in the tunnels, which I'm pretty thankful for. Cain and I have had a hard time dealing with them in the past.

"I'm not _that_ irresponsible."

We begin walking up to the bridge that opens and closes. Mom used to mention that it's open most of the time now. I wonder how long it'll be until the grass in Megaton, reaches here? That is, if the fire didn't burn it all out. Thinking of that fire makes me sick. Even more sick than when I think of that crotchety old man who tried to kidnap me. I must really like my home.

"That's to be decided. Come on, I bet Dez and Charon are having some sort of mental breakdown over us."

"I don't think so. If they were, don't you think they would have come get us? I _am_ their precious child after all."

"No, it's the males who carry on the family name."

"You're adopted."

"It's still a good argument."

"It holds no radiation, Cain."

We laugh together as we enter Rivet City. It's all sorts of shiny. I remember as a kid, they were in the process of cleaning it up. When I asked mom why, she said it was the new hope the land was given after she planted the G.E.C.K. She never did tell me what G.E.C.K stood for, and frankly I don't care to know. Really I'm just happy I wasn't around when mom was growing up. She said it was pretty bad and dog eat dog. When she first said that, I imagined people actually eating dogs. The smaller version of me didn't have the best rationalizing skills.

But back to Rivet City. So, it's all shiny, and chrome-looking. I'm use to places having a Megaton sort of feel, you know. Everything kind of thrown together on a whim. At least, that's what I've seen while out of Megaton. Even in The Pitt, things seemed to be just slapped together with steel. Rivet City, it's different, though. It's an old ship, so they had the interior built for them. Pre-war, I'm guessing. How it survived the war, I can't say. When I asked dad how the world was even still living after something like that, he would just tell me that life always found a way, no matter what. I guess, he was right. One day, I'd really like to hear about his past, in complete order.

"Think dad'll ever tell me his life story?"

Our feet take us on autopilot, as if we've walked this place many times before. People glance up from their conversations in the halls, but quickly look away. Not because they're suspicious, only curious as to who is coming in and going out.

"I don't think so, Diz. You've heard of it, but…you don't want to hear him say it. Know what I mean?"

"I guess."

I really don't, but there isn't much time to argue it. Pretty soon we're in front of Vera's, and there's a robot ready to greet us. But we don't need the robot, because Gob and Zack are standing outside chit chattering with mom and dad. It's mom who sees me first, and I think the smile she gives me is burned into my retinas forever.

Mom gets to me first, then dad. Together they wrap me in a giant hug, obviously happy to see me alive. I mean, who wouldn't? Strangely, they don't say how worried they are. Actually they don't say anything. Just hug. And when they're done, mom gives me this look as if she definitely knows something is amiss.

"I need to talk with you. In private."

Mom doesn't say anything else. Dad gives me a look, as Cain nods. It wasn't like I wasn't going to follow her into the room, but I guess I just needed some silent reassurance.

When we're inside, mom shuts the door. It's a small room, about the size of my own in Megaton. There's a single cot on the wall, and nothing else, except the silvery steel walls. I sit down on the cot, happy to rest my feet, but mom stays standing.

"You know…before you were born, I wanted a boy with blue eyes, and black hair."

I raise an eyebrow, and smirk at her.

"Yeah but you got me. I'm worse. I'm a girl."

Stressed, mom rubs her temples and closes her eyes.

"That I know, trust me. I'm happy, that I got you, I'm just trying to figure out how to start this conversation."

"What conversation?"

"The conversation to help you in life."

I raise my other eyebrow in equal confusion.

"What?"

Mom sits beside me, and I can see in her eyes she's still confused.

"Dizzy, you and Cain…look. There's going to be a lot. A lot that I can't protect you from. And things, things are going to get hard. But you can't leave him. And it's not because of any reason other than how you feel. I've left your father, and he has left me. Some relationships work that way, but sadly, you don't have the privilege to do that with Cain. I want you to understand this. "

"Mom, I do get it. I know it's going to be hard. You're worried. You're supposed to be worried."

"And why's that?"

"Because you're mom."

She laughs a bit, and we both light cigarettes. Mom seems to relax a bit more.

"I'm happy you're safe."

"You should tell me about you and dad."

Leaning back, I feel sleepy.

"What about me and your father?"

"You just said you left him. Were there other women?"

Something stirs in mom. She looks like a sick mixture of hurt, and uncomfortable. I'm about to say she doesn't have to answer when she opens her mouth.

"Diz, there were only two. And honestly, I'm not sure how I got to be that lucky. I suppose, even if there were, though, I would still take him back."

"What? Why?"

"Because we were young and foolish back then. At least I was. Your father…a bit later on. But love, Dizzy. Love is a very powerful drug. Even more powerful than Jet. When you're in love with someone, no matter how much they hurt you, you still just only want to care for them."

That's pretty deep words for the Wasteland. Really, I can't imagine Cain staying very loyal. I haven't thought much about it, but then again there hasn't been time. I've been so busy enjoying the moment, I haven't thought about the future. Maybe that's a good thing, though. Cain doesn't seem like the type to be disloyal. Then again, I thought the same thing about dad, too, and look what happens.

"Either way, Dizzy, there will be hurt, and love. Everything has to balance out. Take the bad, and remember the good."

"Mom, why are you so worried, anyways? If Cain is like dad, I don't have to worry."

"I'm worried about your survival, but mostly, I'm worried about how you're going to be in an argument. I can't lose the both of you."

I can't really argue that, so I hug her. She hugs me back, and it's probably one of the most tender moments mom and I have had together. When we pull apart, she smiles at me, and rubs her fingers through my hair.

"I am so proud of you."

Those words…I had no idea, they would make such an impact. It takes everything I have to keep myself from crying. I don't know what she has to be proud of, but, still. Mom smiles at me, rubbing my cheek with her soft, smooth hand. Pretty soon, the door opens, and dad and Cain walk in. Dad smiles at me, and I can't hold myself back. I hug him. He's my daddy. My one and only. I know there are girls out there, with no dad, or no parents. I feel lucky, to have both of mine. To have them both love me and forgive all the bad things I've done. In fact, I couldn't ask for a better set of parents.

"Diz, what's gotten into you?"

Dad asks, as I squeeze him tighter.

"I just really missed you."  
Which is true. I have missed my dad. A lot. Being with Cain is great, and I was happy, but in the back of my mind I was worried if dad would be okay. I knew he would be, but still. It's scary to see one of your parents like that. All unconscious and whatnot. Plus there was a lot of blood, and…the whole thing was just stupid and worried me.

"I missed you too."

Letting go of dad, I take a step back into Cain's chest. I feel his elbow resting on my shoulder, all casual-like. Glancing up at him, I catch a sideways smile. It makes me sideways smile back.

"Barrows will want to see the both of you. After that we have to go see Horace Pinkerton. From there, we'll go home."

Mom says, suddenly badass and ready to fight someone. Mom's like that. She's either really goofy, or really serious. Dad's always really serious. But they're my parents and I love them.

"But mom, I'm fine. Why do I have to go see Barrows?"

I whine, really not wanting to go. Barrows was always hanging around our house growing up because of Cain. It got annoying. I don't mind seeing him as a friend, but as a doctor it's weird. I guess I just grew to see him as an uncle, and having my uncle give me shots and examine my body is weird. Although he's actually a wonderful guy. I just hate checkups and doctors. Radiation, all the way.

"It's more Cain than you, Dizzy."

Dad says and I smile. That was almost too close for comfort. Cain lifts his elbow off of my shoulder, and I look up at him. He's not at upset at going to see Barrows as I am. Mainly because he's use to it.

"Alright, which way?"

Dad leads us all in line out of the room. Gob and Zack tell dad that they're going to stay behind for us, and when we're done we'll begin the drive back to Megaton. With all the rubble that I saw, though, I wonder how anyone could drive. I've never seen anyone drive anything before Megaton caught fire. Gob was always fixing things, it was destiny that one day something would work. But maybe there's this pathway I don't know about that brings you straight from Megaton to Rivet City with no rubble. Or vice versa, whichever way you're going.

"It's just down the hall."

Mum tells me, but she lied. We ended up taking a lot of turns, and taking stairs down to Dr. Barrows' office. Nurse Graves was with him. I've always liked her, she has this kind, gravely voice. One that really makes you feel like they care, and that you're safe. Although nobody is really safe anywhere out here. Super Mutants could come any minute and try to take over Rivet City and leave nothing behind. But Super Mutants aren't that smart.

Barrows and Graves turn around when we enter. There's no a lot of room in here for all of us.

"Why haven't you moved down to the old lab yet?"

Mom asks Barrows. He puts his clipboard down, and shrugs.

"We're in the process of that. The old lab is where patients rest, up here is where I treat them."

His eyes wander over to Cain, and whatever stress he had sort of dissipates. It's like Barrows was worried about him, or something.

"I'm happy to see you're holding up just fine."

Cain nods.

"Yeah, well, things are…different."

"How do you feel?"

"Same, but different."

"Good or bad?"

"Good."

He shines some light in Cain's eyes, and looks at his teeth. I don't know why, but he did.

"Horace Pinkerton would probably be better suited to see Cain at this point. With no visible injuries, there's nothing I can do. But maybe he would have some words of advice."

Horace Pinkerton? Mom and dad nod knowingly at Barrows.

"Can he be trusted?"

Dad asks, and Barrows shrugs.

"I can't say. I don't know him too well. But I doubt he's dumb enough to pull one over on you two."

With that we leave the room. Cain looks at me, a bit worried, and I take his hand. Squeezing it lightly, as mom and dad walk ahead of us, I give him a look that says everything is going to be okay. Even though I don't know where we're going, or who Horace Pinkerton is. (Cain)

Things resume like nothing ever changed. It's strange, but comforting. I can't remember, any point in my life, where things were this calm. Dezbe and Dizzy laugh and talk, as if they're best friends. They were close before, but now, it feels like everyone is just a bit closer. In this family, I no longer feel like an outcast. Perhaps maybe, it's because Dizzy and I did our own thing. I finally feel like there's a connection to these people now, other than the sympathy Dezbe showed me years ago. Charon says nothing, but every now and again he'll glance back at me. I know he knows. It's this strange , biological connection we share. There's no need for us to have words, to understand one another. Maybe that's why I was closer to him growing up, than anyone else.

In a world where everyone talks, moves, goes, fast-paced, killings, defense, everything…there was Charon. And within that fast-paced environment, if something happened, he knew. I knew. Time would cease, and we'd share a knowing look, and continue on. Sometimes a silent understanding is a lot better, than words and flapping lips. But he hangs back, letting Dezbe and Dizzy lead the way out of the city. He walks beside me, our height matching, our build the same. I have always felt inferior to him. As if I'm this genetic mistake, based on his achievements and greatness. But now, walking beside him, silent, I feel something different. I feel like…I'm his equal.

"You know now, Dizzy is your responsibility."

He says, not asking. I nod, keeping my eyes set forward.

"I do."

"Can you handle it on your own?"

"Could you handle Dezbe?"

"It took learning."

"This will too."

We keep it short. A soft pat on my back tells me this man who raised me like his son approves. But I'm not his son any longer. I am my own being, in a sense. I belong to Dizzy, because without her I will die, but this self-awareness, this feeling of finally no longer standing in Charon's shadow, is the most powerful thing I've ever felt. My life is similar to his. I have Dizzy, he has Dezbe, and yet, the similarities end there. When Megaton is rebuilt, Dizzy and I will go off to New Vegas. Something Charon and Dezbe never did. We will adventure, just the same, but they'll be very different ones. Charon had a lot of time to gather information about the world, before meeting Dez, and creating their story together. Dizzy and I, have little knowledge of the areas beyond The Pitt, our survival skills need great improvement, and who knows how we're going to stand one another for such a long time? Without being able to get our own space until we reach New Vegas, things will be tough. But there's also something inside, that tells me I'll appreciate those hard times. They'll make us stronger, closer, but never tear us apart.

I foresee nights spend alone, angry at one another. I can tell there'll be angry and heated arguments, paired with passion that could burn the hot desert sun. But those moments, we'll in time come to laugh at. And the good we'll share together, the bad, we'll have to endure. It's what everyone out here goes through. Those lucky enough to go through it with somebody else, that is. Dezbe and Charon have a love story that nothing could ever measure up to, but, Dizzy and I will make our own. And it will be something big, in its own right.

The sun is almost gone when we leave Rivet City. Dezbe and Dizzy still talk together, about things men don't understand. Charon and I keep our silence, knowing that our conversation is in watching the surrounding areas.

"Charon? Is that the broken part?"

Dezbe turns and points to the broken bow of Rivet City. Charon stares at her, a bit dumbfounded.

"Yes."  
She smiles at him, a wide-toothy grin. He chuckles in tolerance, and we make our way over. As we get closer, guns begin to come out, and I hear the familiar cocking of Charon's shotgun.

"Cain, Dizzy, there's Mirelurks in there. Mirelurk Kings are much stronger than Mirelurks. They use a supersonic attack, for lack of a better term. It can cause severe headaches, and distortion. So be on your toes."

Charon tells us, as Dezbe opens the door. It's dark, but soon a light emits the walls in a dull glow. It's only then I realize, Dezbe put her Pip-Boy back on her arm. It suits her. As if she was simply made to have it.

"We're gonna have to take a swim."

Dezbe says, standing on top of stairwell. The whole bow is lopsided, and walking crooked gives me an uneasy feeling. Dizzy taps my shoulder, holding her small Magnum.

"This might be fun."

"Or dangerous."

"Which is fun."

I shake my head at her and we follow Dez and Charon down the steps. Charon steps into the water first.

"It's up to my waist."

He calls, which means on Dizzy and Dez, it'll be close to their chest. But that doesn't seem to bother either one of them, as Dez jumps right in, and Dizzy pushes me forward.

"Be careful."

Dezbe warns us, and soon enough I hear the screech of what can only be a Mirelurk King. Nobody gets alarmed, or scared. Everyone simply draws their weapons. Pretty soon, there's bullets flying, and creatures coming up from the water as we navigate the dark and flooded halls.

"Watch for ricochet bullets!"

Charon yells, even though there's no place to really dodge an oncoming bullet. Soon enough, we make it to a dry area. The Mirelurks, Kings and not, are dead. A door in front of us possibly leads to the mysterious Horace Pinkerton. It's Dez who opens the door, and we all step in.

I'm not sure what I expected when I heard of Horace. A doctor who can fix androids and give facial reconstruction reminds me something of Dr. Barrows. But the man who stared at us as we barged in, was nothing like Barrows. He's short, and old. Older than I've ever seen anyone before. I felt just getting too close to him would make him turn to dust. Everyone put their guns away when they saw he was nothing but a harmless old man. Except for Charon. He kept his tightly clenched in his hands, aimed at the ground. His eyes follow Horace closely. Something tells me, this man, isn't at all what he seems. And Charon feels the same thing.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?"

He asks, an old, gruff voice. Dezbe steps forward.

"Dr. Barrows says you fix scars, and androids."

"How the hell did you find me?"

"It wasn't that hard. I'm Dezbe. This is my partner Charon, my daughter Dizzy, and her partner Cain."

Horace stares at Dezbe, but when she says Charon's name, he doesn't hesitate to look. He stares at him, their eyes meet. An uncomfortable silence fills the room, as they stare down one another. Charon doesn't flinch, and eventually, Horace does.

"I see no android here."

Dezbe motions towards me.

"He's an advanced…uh…I forget the word. But he's an android. I mean, built by machines. His organs look and feel real, but they're all synthetic. His mind is like this computer, thing. And I have this scar I want removed, too."

"You think you can barge in here and demand my services?"

Horace is angered, and yells. Charon and I step forward, in front of the women. He stares at both of us, our matching height, our faces, eyes, everything. I feel like I'm back in the Citadel Ruins. Back underground, being poked, prodded, and examined under giant microscopes. He staggers back a bit, raising his arm, his face turning to disbelief.

Just as quickly as the disbelief sets in though, he hides it. I glance at Charon, and he glances at me. This isn't an ordinary man. He's hiding something. We came here seeking help, and found something a bit more disturbing.

"Alright. Alright. I'll take a look at your scar."

Dezbe pushes through us, excited.

"It's this one right here."

Behind us, I hear Dizzy tinkering with tools and surgical supplies lying around. As long as she doesn't break anything, she should be fine. Dezbe shows Horace the scar on her neck, and Charon watches carefully.

"Easily fixable, will have to put you under, though."

"I'm immune to radiation. You're a doctor, that should be useful information."

"It doesn't matter."

Horace turns away and goes behind a white curtain. Pulling it aside, there's an operating table, with a monitor, and other such machines. It reminds me of Doc Church's office, and Dr. Barrows. Dizzy creeps up behind me, and takes my hand.

"I'm scared."

She whispers. Charon follows Dezbe to Horace, and I look behind at her.

"Why?"

I whisper back. She hands me a small piece of paper. It's dated from pre-war, and extremely delicate. On it, a small sketch of someone strongly resembling myself. Only this person has a lost, vacant look in the penned eyes, and they stare off at something. They're wearing a white tank top, and the bottom half of what looks like pre-war leather armor.

I glance up from it to see Dezbe laying on the table, Charon keeping a watchful eye on everything. Walking over, I get Charon's attention, and silently slip the paper into his hand. He feels it, and looks down. It feels like a lifetime, as he stares at it, examining the age. Some pieces of it fall off, worn with three, or four hundred years of age. It's yellowed, and stained. He looks up at Horace, and points his gun at him just as he's about to put Dezbe under.


	64. Chapter 64

(Charon)

"Don't move!"

It's the eyes. The eyes always, always give people away. Horace looks at me, fearful when he sees my gun, and steps away from Dez. Smart man. In my peripheral vision, Cain also has his gun raised. Dezbe rolls from the table, and finds Dizzy, confused. I don't expect her to know, or to understand. Horace raises his hands in the air, palms facing me. I step forward, he steps back.

"Wh-what did I do?"

My gun is already cocked. I hear Cain slide the safety off of his. The noise echoes in the small room.

"Who are you?"

This man before us, he is not from here. He is from another time. He is from my time. His eyes tell me everything I need to know about him, except who he is. A pre-war man. A very rich, pre-war man. Enough money to somehow…expand his life, without ghoulification. But…why? Why on earth would anyone want to exist past the war? Most of us that have did not choose to, but instead it was forced upon us.

"I am Horace Pinkerton."

"Who _were_ you, rather?"

I growl. Over the years, it is not uncommon for people to take on new names, and new identities. Life grows so wry for most ghouls, that it's simply a part of their life. Graves did so many times, before settling down beside Barrows. Horace lowers his hands, and I make sure to keep a close eye on what he does with them.

"It's good to see your intelligence hasn't dwindled over the centuries, hm, Charon?"

I narrow my eyes at him, and feel Dizzy slide between me and Cain. Horace shoves his hands in his pockets. Cain tries to shove Dizzy back.

"How do you know my father?"

Dizzy yells, trying to attack Horace with her small fists. Cain holds her still with one arm, his finger still on the trigger of his gun. Dizzy tries to claw at Horace, but she's too far away. The anger is there, still. Horace chuckles, eyeing each of us, as Dezbe takes her place beside me, gun in hand.

"Four against one, but your guns aren't needed. I mean you no harm, Charon. I never did. I had hoped you wouldn't figure out anything, but, you were always the brightest around. It was ill of me to allow you all into my home if I wanted to remain underground."

Lowering my weapon, I watch Horace pace. Dez goes to say something, but I place my hand on her shoulder.

"And you've got a family now. Who would've guessed? You have Barrows to thank for that, I presume. You know, at first, I didn't believe it was you. I first saw you here decades ago. You were arguing with the woman, there, Dez, you said? Right, well, you were arguing with her. I watched her throw herself off the deck, wanting to die just as millions before have. But you, Charon, you didn't let that happen. You saved her with a determination I had never before seen in you. It was…refreshing to see. And now, here you stand before me, free of the constraints of a contract and training people spent their entire lives to create. Freedom, Charon, and I couldn't be happier for you."

Dezbe looks at me, worried, scared. My daughter tugs on my sleeve, nervous, and I glance down at her.

"Dad…"

"Living free, Charon, brings sorrow, when one cannot be what they wish. It seems, that's not your case. A wife, a daughter, and…is this the experimental android they were working on? I can't imagine they made him advanced enough to survive the war. A newer one, perhaps? Recently made, within the last ten, fifteen years, yes?"

It's Cain's turn to worry. I see, his fear of going back to a place that no longer exists still terrifies him at night, just as it did to me years ago. I turn back to Horace, and I can sense there's fear in him, too.

"It's been a long time, John."

I say, placing my gun on my back. Dezbe gasps, loud enough for the entire Capitol Wasteland to hear. Cain and Dizzy do not know this part of my past. But I have seen enough. I can't doubt, John would have found a way to survive. I know my employers were planned now, but still, I hold no anger towards John. He never harmed me. He was the one employer, who saw me as an equal. Aside from Dezbe.

"Charon, it _can't_ be!"

Dezbe says, staring at Horace/John. I nod my head.

"One can change greatly over the years, Dez. But one, can never truly hide what they were born as."

"After you left the vault, Charon, it was my money that saved me. Money, connections, and doctors. I am, at this point in my life, no different than the experiment that stands beside you. It was painful, excruciating at times, but worth it."

"Why would you want to live for such a long time?"

I ask him, genuinely curious.

"That's a difficult question. Many reasons, I suppose. Perhaps the main reason, is that I simply wanted to see how life would exist past the war. I wanted to truly see, how the human race would survive. Remember what I told you, before we entered the vault? That we are not done evolving. That humans, as we were, were only the link between what we are now, and what we will be. And you can see, now, how much humanity has changed. The people are today, are stronger, more resilient, more resourceful, than those who walked into the vault alongside us. I wanted to see this change, study it, capture it. And in my own way, I have."

"Is this why you helped androids escape?"

"That, and because I am one myself now. Everything in me is artificial. It's the only way I would be able to survive. I felt a sorrow for them, a sort of connection. But enough about me. Come and sit. Tell me, about your life. Enlighten me, on how you've managed to break free from those that control you."

"There is nobody left."

"So I can see. They would have never let you survive like this, had there been."

Everyone is confused. I will explain it to Dizzy and Cain at a later time. Dezbe is awestruck, as she remembers the first time I mentioned John at Tenpenny Tower. But, without question, they follow me as I walk with John to a small sitting area behind another white curtain. Dezbe sits beside me, close, clutching my arm as Cain and Dizzy take silent seats on the floor. John sits in an old, pre-war recliner, as he lights a pipe.

"So, Charon, where did it all begin?"

I lean back on the old sofa, letting everyone know, they can relax. John means us no harm.

"Centuries ago, after I left the vault. You forced me to go, if I recall. But there isn't time now to tell you how it all came to be. Just know that it did, and it wasn't easy."

"I don't suspect it was easy. Nothing worth it, like love or freedom, is. But the short version is nice. After these years, Charon, I care about you still, just as I always have. You must know by now, you falling into my hands was planned. However, I had no intention of treating you like a dog. You…were similar to a son to me, and still are. Now, I want to know, how my son is doing."

"How did you know I would even survive after you forced me from the vault?"

"I didn't. I just knew you would find a way, and trusted in that. It wasn't in your genetic makeup to die. Even before those people got their dirty hands on you, the instinct to survive was strong. It's something, no amount of training can erase, only improve. Like I said earlier, I only first saw you when you were with Dezbe at Rivet City, and saved her. Were you under contract, then?"

Dez's hand clutches mine tightly. She's no longer scared, but there's a childish curiosity around her. It was her, after all, who first said John may still be alive. Even now, she's right. I presume I won't live this down if she remembers.

"I was, yes. Dezbe was my first female employer."

"And how long after that until you broke free of the contract? I presume you still had it then."

"I did, and about a year, maybe half. Time now…blurs together."

"Dad? Dad what's he talking about? Who is he?"

Dizzy asks, worried. Cain I can tell doesn't fully trust John yet, and that's smart of him. He holds Dizzy's hand tightly, as she looks up at me.

"Your daughter has a remarkable resemblance to what you use to look like, Charon. And the android, he is perfection in your image."

"Cain. My name is Cain."

Dizzy looks at Cain, then back at me. I sigh, not wishing to tell my daughter my own history.

"You know I am pre-war, Dizzy. You know little of my own past, though."

"Dad…"

"I was a trained mercenary, to put it lightly. You're aware of this, don't play coy. But when I first met your mother, I was under contract. The details are too much for right now. Later, your mother can explain it to you."

I feel a light punch in the arm from Dezbe. She's annoyed I have dropped the responsibility on her, but she must understand. After this, I won't wish to talk of my past. It comes back, positive or negative, it does. I grow tired of it.

"…I don't trust him."

She gets up and storms away, Cain following. A door slamming tells me she has left the area, and that is fine with me. She won't go far, and Cain is with her. Dezbe chuckles, as Dizzy reminds her of herself.

"She has your distrusting nature, it seems."

"And her mother's wild ambitions."

John laughs, tapping his tobacco pipe.

"You say that with dread, young Charon."

"You have no idea the things I've had to put up with, with two women."

"Hey!"

Dez hits my arm again, harder. John laughs again. His laugh is the same as it always has been.

"She has many scars. They must have fascinating stories…have you been present for most, Charon?"

"Painfully so. Pulling her out of trouble, only to have to find her way back into it without a moment's notice."

"Charon, may I remind you I was there when your contact fell into the wrong hands? Time, and time, and _time_ again?"

Our banter is playful, as if age and family hasn't changed who we once were. It hasn't. The only thing that's really changed is the world around us. John seems to get nervous, with Dez mentions my contract.

"Charon…your contract fell into wrong hands?"

I take my eyes from Dez, and sigh heavily.

"I'm not sure, if it was the intention of my creators to have it happen or not. But more than once, my contract fell into the hands of Dez's enemies, and more than once, I have been used against her."

"…No. No I do not think that was their intent, but rather an inconvenience. What…I am curious about, Charon, is how you handled that. You listened to nobody, except me, when I held your contract. As if to you the world around you was nonexistent."

"…That is difficult to answer. The first time, I was…pained to hurt her, yet I followed through. The second, I did my best to offer her assistance within the confines of my contract, and the third…I didn't even know her. I knew nothing. The forced me to forget."

"An order like that…you were trained…well. For lack of a better term. From a scientific standpoint. You know as well as I, morally, I am completely against what happened to you."

"Yes, I understand. But yet, even when I first met Dez, I refused the order to kill her."

John coughs up smoke, and I feel Dez's head rest on my arm. She remembers our first meeting, just as well as I do.

"You refused an order? Against someone you had never met? Impossible."

"Possible. I did. To this day, I am unsure why. I like to think it was your words that helped. You know, as well as I, that harming a woman was never presented to me before. Although I am not bias, the situation had never presented itself. We were taught, women were sexual beings, sought to destroy our training, even though women trained alongside us."

"And…tell me how you acted the last time. When they forced you to forget."

"I helped her escape. I did not know her, at least, as far as I knew at that time. But something, inside. A feeling, told me I had to help. That there was no other option. She came back, like she always did, and from then on…I was never again confined to a contract. You see, I had destroyed my own. The Outcasts simply made another, aware of how deep the training went."

John is silent as he thinks things over. Dezbe leans up, and kisses my cheek softly. Her hand squeezes mine, and I look down at her. The years of staying in Megaton have softened her face. He hands are rough, and blistered from holding her gun, yet they're tender and soft, from being a mother. I feel I owe a lot more to Dezbe, than I initially believed.

"…Love is a powerful chemical, Charon. People claim it is nothing more than that, and only humans gave it meaning. But, loyalty, is something not just seen in the human race. "


	65. Chapter 65

(Dizzy)

"Who the _hell_ is that man?"

I yell at Cain, as if he has all the answers. Well he should, right?

"How do I know? Obviously someone from Charon's past."

"And how did he know you? What you are? How?"

"Dizzy, I don't know. Maybe…he was someone involved? But Charon says he's trustworthy."

"And you believe him?"

"Don't you?"

I eye him really angrily, my gun still tight in my hand.

"No. Because…lots of people tried to hurt mom and dad in the past. I don't ever want to see it. Hearing about it, is a lot different, than actually living it."

"I understand that, but you also have to understand that there's no safer place than with me and Charon."

"I don't _want_ to! This is _my_ family, and everyone else needs to get out!"

Cain doesn't catch me in time. I push right past him, and storm back into the stupid lab. Lights from an x-ray viewer light the path, and a skeleton lies near where mom was about to get surgery. I turn my nose at it, and follow the sound of chattering voices.

"Dad!"

I yell, storming into the small sitting area. Dad looks at me, his arm around mom.

"Dizzy."

He responds, all sorts of cool and calm.

"Dad who the hell is this? You can't just go around trusting people! Isn't that what you told me? Dad! We should go _now_!"

To my surprise, he laughs. Dad laughs. I don't think I've heard him laugh more than a handful of times in my entire life. He didn't even laugh when we played tea-party together.

"Dizzy, relax. John is someone I once knew, as I said before. He means us no harm. Come and sit."

"No!"

"She has your stubbornness."

That stupid man says and I turn right to him.

"I don't know who you are, or what you intend to do, but this is _my_ dad! He's _mine_ and you're not going to take him away! I'll kill you myself!"

I raise my gun, but before I can do anything else, I feel Cain's arms wrap around me, and my feet lifting off the ground. Dad stands up and takes my gun from my hand. With a bit of a struggle, that is. He empties the bullets, and hands it back to me. John howls with laughter.

"Only you would have to deal with the sufferings of raising a daughter, Charon."

"Her stubbornness comes from her mother, and she's quite the handful."

"I can imagine boys knocking on the door, trying to break it down to get to her."

"They weren't that stupid."

Cain sits me down and I sigh angrily. I still don't trust this man, but the look mom is giving me tells me to behave.

"Dad kept me on a short leash."

"You're still on one, Dizzy."

He sits back down, while John's stupid face smirks in amusement.

"Daughters are a lot more difficult than sons, that's for sure."

He talks like he has kids himself. I cross my arms over my chest, and give Cain the death glare.

"Are you two together?"

John asks me, and the question kind of knocks me off my feet. Mom and dad really didn't ask about us, even though they both knew. I swallow hard, and nod my head, sort of afraid of the reprimand from my parents. Even though it won't happen.

"I see. And Charon, you stated Cain is adopted? That Dezbe found him?"

"No. Charon is not my father, Dizzy is not my mother. They raised me as their son, but I'm not. I am only tied to them now by Dizzy."

Cain blurts in, standing and brave.

"And your connection to Charon."

"I was _based_ off of him. I am _not_ him."

"Regardless of what you wish to believe, know that I designed the original blueprints for your creation. I know a lot more about you, than even you do."

"Yeah? Prove it."

At this point, Cain is more confronting than me.

"You have a connection to Charon, as it was designed that way. When something happens to either one of you, the other knows. Not only that, but the pairing bond is quite strong."

"…Pairing bond?"

I look over at mom, while John and Cain have their stupid tit-for-tat.

"I explained to Charon earlier. Had you been in the room you would also have heard. Yes a pairing bond. The main reason men and women were kept apart during training and even after, was because due to their training, had they worked for someone of the opposite sex, the loyalty to that person would be unbreakable. Life, and emotions, find a way even in the darkest of moments, and even in the most brainwashed person. Since Charon, was so alone and broken, without a mother, he is forever loyal to Dezbe, despite straying. He associates her, with safety, and care, things that nobody before him had been shown. Your bond, is much deeper than that, since it is artificial, not psychological."

"Without Dizzy, I will die."

"Precisely."

"But I already knew that, and I'm sick of people reminding me!"

Cain slams his hand down. My dad and mom are stuck together for life. I bet mom can move on if she wanted, but dad is kinda stuck in the mud on this one. Cain's issue is a lot more pressing, and I decide to keep my head down. For a minute.

"Charon, the boy is so much like you."

John says. It's not mocking, or cruel, more like an obvious statement. Cain looks away, angry now. I stand up and keep my arms folded. I don't like John any more than Cain does at this point.

"We don't even know who you are, or what you meant to my father, and you're sitting here passing judgment on us. I'm his _daughter_, and damn if nobody has taken that lightly."

"Dizzy, calm down, child. I can understand why people would rather run from you, instead of towards you. Your father is a powerful, unstoppable force when angered. I have seen so firsthand. Have you?"

All of a sudden, I hate to admit it, but John's right. I've never seen my father entirely angry. I've never seen the passion of him caring so much, that he'd tear apart towns to protect my mom. I've never seen it, but I want to. I don't know why.

"No."

"I have."

Cain says, and I look at him, confused.

"Before you were born, Dezbe was pregnant. Like, _big_ pregnant. Raiders attacked Megaton, and I was too little to fight then, too. But Charon…the things he did to some of them. Anyone who got near Dez was killed almost instantly. And what he did to the Raider that almost shot her right in her stomach…"

Cain shudders and trails off. I look at my dad, and he nods his head.

"I'm not proud of what I do, when threats come close to my family. But I do what must be done, as anyone would."

I know my dad is strong. He's a killer, a mercenary, and powerful. To me, he's strongest in the world, and Cain is second. But to picture him hurting people so badly, it makes Cain shudder, is hard. I get why he did it, I don't think less of him, I just think of how close I really came to pushing him over the edge with all my antics. What if someone, a friend or something of mine, really got hurt?

"It's just hard to imagine. We played tea-party together."

John laughs at this. While my family is use to my dad being soft with me, he obviously, isn't.

"Did you answer a fake phone when it rang and she handed it to you, too?"

John asks my dad, who shamelessly nods his head.

"When your child does something like that, no matter how big you are, you answer it."

I'll admit it, it made me smile too. To think back to when I had a pre-war phone, taken from some rubble. I would hit the broken buttons, and play with the broken piece. Whenever dad walked by I would make this annoying buzzing sound and hand him the face-piece. I'd say 'For you! For you!' and he would take it, and pretend it was someone very important on the other line. They'd give him orders, and together, we'd execute this very intricate mission. Although it always ended with me going to bed. Or nap. I hated naps.

"I remember that, dad."

I tell him, giving him a soft smile.

"Being a father…is one thing I never expected from you, Charon. A normal life, yes, but to go as far as to make a child…"

"It was hard to envision what I once was, transforming into who I am now. I understand."

It's hard for me to see my dad as anything other than my dad. I can't imagine him being a ruthless killer, though I don't doubt that he ever was. It's just maybe, since I'm his daughter and grew up with him always loving and caring about me. I rarely, even now, see him angry.

"Your daughter…she reminds me of pre-war…"

John says, and everyone looks at me. I light a cigarette and jut my jaw out. Mom does it too when she's mad.

"I'm _not_ pre-war."

Between you and me, I have this deep-nested hate for pre-war. Mom would show me the clothes and pictures and whatnot. It seemed so dull. So boring. What I could get from Gob growing up, was that pre-war had these things called 'taxes' and 'law'. Megaton has rules, and that's fine. Step outside the boundaries though and you're free as a Mirelurk in the open sea. Gob said it wasn't like that. That there were rules even in the open sea. I don't like the clothes. I don't like anything about it. The only thing I do like is possibly putting an awesome twist on pre-war when I get to New Vegas. I can picture those ladies mom showed me holding guns and looking all sorts of badass classy. That's the kind of stuff I like. None of this stupid, pre-war lawful bullshit.

Absentmindedly, I rub some dirt off my face. I glance at the back of my hand to see the smudge. I can't picture my mom coming over and making a fuss over how dirty I've gotten. In pre-war, moms did that. I don't want that.

"How so?"

I hear dad ask, and I look over at John.

"The short hair. The blue eyes. She has this…Charon, you remember them, right? They ran the streets at night?"

"The hoodlums?"

"Ah, yes. You see I never saw them as lawless, though. They were always free in my eyes. A freedom I still can't obtain. That's who Dizzy reminds me of. One of those wild and free children."

"My mom was one."

I say blowing smoke. I still do not like this man one bit. I toss a backwards look at Cain, asking with my eyes if we can please just go home and meet the parental units there. To my anger he looks away. As much as he's disowned mom and dad as his parents, he misses them just the same. Dumb boys.

"Dizzy, you have no idea what I was like."

"Are you going to tell me, in real detail?"

Mom gives me a smirk, and flips her hair back in this real smug way. I think this is the most time we've spent together in one room, all of us I mean, without someone trying to rip someone else's head off.

"I was _wild_…"

She says it like she's talking about sex. Weird as that sounds. I'm not too good with words. Dad rolls his eyes, and I eagerly listen as he looks at me, then John.

"Dezbe was a character back then."

"I still am."

"Regardless. Dizzy, it's hard to describe really, what your mother was back then. It was something, you'd simply have to see."

"Your father isn't the best on telling moments when he wasn't there."

I cock an eyebrow, and sit at their feet. Cain sits beside me. Although he's known their history far longer than I have, this part…is new to both of us. Mom and dad have three people, eagerly listening for their unedited version of one another. All they do, is sit a bit closer to each other.

"Before I met your father, I had two or three months to myself. Fresh in the Wasteland, I didn't know how to survive out here. But I had to learn fast, or die. I became…more or less a one-woman Raider gang, with a slight Jet addiction. The silence and solitude caused me to develop an independence, yet dependence on myself, that I didn't have in the vault. I was…am, free, in a much different sense than you are, Dizzy. You have parents who love you, and worry. My mother died before I was born, and my father at that time was off working on Project Purity. I was completely, and utterly alone."

"What about when you met dad? Did your freedom change?"

Mom shook her head at my question. It seemed for a minute, tears were going to come out.

"No, my emotions did, though. I suddenly found myself dependent on your father. There was a time, where…you see, Dizzy, your father had terrible flashbacks. It would control him, and he became someone else. During one such moment, he attacked me. I had to defend myself. I believed, for five years, that I killed him."

"You and dad were separated for _five years_?"

She nods, looking at the ground.

"I spent those five years in a town far south. Alone, not talking to the townspeople, not wanting to. Eventually, I returned to Megaton. During this time, your father was dealing with his own demons. To protect me, from him, he hid that he had survived the fight between us. But, fate would have it, that we both return to Megaton at the same time. Shortly after our reunion, we found Cain."

Chatter emits from John, dad and mom. Cain is quiet, and I poke my cigarette out on the ground. I knew my entire life, that my parents loved one another in a way that nobody else could compare to. But, to hear that their love, was strong enough to survive five years of being apart, saddens me a bit. I mean, how many couples do you know have no communication for that long, and then suddenly pick back up again? None. What mom and dad have…I don't think I'll ever feel that way about anyone.

Standing up, I smile at my parents.

"I'm going to wait outside. I want to go back to Megaton tonight. Or at least try to. Is it okay if I wait outside and relax?"

Asking permission to do something at this point in my life is redundant. Still, I find myself doing just that. Dad and mom simply nod their heads in my direction, as they're distracted with John. It's best to give them time to catch up. Dad seems close to this old man. I don't know why, or how. Frankly, I don't want to know, really.

Cain follows me out. Through the deep water, up the stairs, around the lopsided platforms, and out the door. Our clothes weren't fully dried from our entrance, but the air outside is warm enough to keep us comfortable. Together we find a small, secluded spot to sit. We can see the door carefully, in case mom and dad walk out. They'll wake us, if we fall asleep. Worse to worse, we all just head back to Megaton and meet up there.

Sitting down, I put my gun on the ground and stretch out my legs. Cain does the same, and above us a million, billion stars litter the night sky.

"What's on your mind?"

He asks, lighting his own cigarette. I sigh, and lie back with my arms behind my head.

"Mom and dad."

"What about them?"

"Cain…that's something unbreakable they have. It's…almost unbelievable. I know they've been together since forever, but knowing that they're so much in love, that five years of no contact meant nothing…it…puts things into perspective."

"It must have been hard for both of them to be without the other, though."

"Yeah but aside from that, think of the reunion. How wonderful it must have been."

Cain shrugs, puffing smoke from his lungs.

"Charon told me the story. It wasn't as romantic as you're making it to be."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"Dezbe was sad. Distraught. Five years had taken their toll, and it wasn't like she took care of herself. Charon said when he first saw her, she was skin, bone, and sunken eyes. He felt so much guilt for what he'd put her through in their time together, that at first, he didn't even want to renew the romance."

I sit up, as if I'm hearing my own love story.

"Really? What happened?"

"Dezbe took some old, pre-war medicine she found. It made her sick. Charon had promised to bring her here, to Rivet City, so she could have tests done. Between that is when she took the medicine. She got sick. Charon said that during their time laughing and joking, he just fell so much back in love with her that he didn't want to hurt her anymore. So when he knew she was safe, he left."

"…Dad left mom again? Then what happened? Do they get back together?"

I don't realize how stupid that sounds until Cain looks at me. For my own sake, and probably out of fear of what I'll do to him if he doesn't continue, Cain ignores my stupidity.

"Dez went back to Megaton. To wait. And she waited, but someone from that southern town came around looking for her. Charon went to escort an old man and a Brahmin back to The Pitt. I guess the old man had some good advice, because all of a sudden, Charon realized he was letting the woman he loved go to someone else. He felt guilty for hurting her, but I guess the guilt of hurting her in the past, didn't compare to the pain he would cause her if he didn't go back. So, he did. And then, they went to the Citadel Ruins, broke a bunch of shit, found me, and lived happily ever after."

I hang on his every word. I know they live happily ever after, I was a big part in that. But still. I guess you never really realize just how much moms and dads go through until it's all explained one day. And then all explained again. And so on and so forth.

"…You think, we could ever love one another like that?"

Since we've already seen one another naked, and done naked things together, I don't feel the need to tiptoe around him anymore. Once you see someone naked, there's not much else to be embarrassed of.

"No. I think what they have is special in its own way, and what we have is special in our own way. We haven't even started our own adventure yet, Dizzy. We don't know what the future will hold."

I shrug, displeased.

"I guess you're right but…imagine being so in love, that…nothing in the world could compare…"

"Imagine the suffering that comes with earning that love. Nothing worth it is easy, Dizzy. Even in this world. If it was, it wouldn't be worth it."

I want to argue him, but I know he's right. Instead I turn my head away and look up at the big, yellow moon. Well really tonight it's silvery, and blue-ish. I feel Cain's hand wrap around mine, and the roughness of his fingers.

"We're going to have fun, in New Vegas."

He says, almost as if he's actually excited about going. I look over at him, making sure he can't let my hand go even if he wanted to.

"You sound excited."

"I am. It's our life now. Ours. Nobody in the world can tell us what to do, how to do it, or anything. Nobody will know us there. We can even make new names for ourselves. Develop whole new identities."

"I like my name, and my identity."

"I'm just saying, it's a possibility."

I smile, and nod my head. I know what he means. While he's excited to get out of dad's shadow, I'm more excited to start my own adventure with him. I want to dance. And feel alive. People who've been to New Vegas either love it or hate it. Mom says there were too many laws for her, and she got into far too much trouble, too easy. Dad says he never went, and doesn't want to go. Something about the moral standard, or whatever.

It isn't long though, before we hear the steel door of the broken bow open up, and mom and dad walk out. They're all in this world together. So engrossed with what's going on between them that they hardly notice me and Cain walking up. We could have very well been laying there dead and they wouldn't even have noticed. I don't really blame them for that, though.

"Ready to head back?"

Mom asks me, and I give her a smile. As much as I can't wait to leave home, nothing can replace the feeling of going back to it


	66. Chapter 66

(Dizzy)

"Who the _hell_ is that man?"

I yell at Cain, as if he has all the answers. Well he should, right?

"How do I know? Obviously someone from Charon's past."

"And how did he know you? What you are? How?"

"Dizzy, I don't know. Maybe…he was someone involved? But Charon says he's trustworthy."

"And you believe him?"

"Don't you?"

I eye him really angrily, my gun still tight in my hand.

"No. Because…lots of people tried to hurt mom and dad in the past. I don't ever want to see it. Hearing about it, is a lot different, than actually living it."

"I understand that, but you also have to understand that there's no safer place than with me and Charon."

"I don't _want_ to! This is _my_ family, and everyone else needs to get out!"

Cain doesn't catch me in time. I push right past him, and storm back into the stupid lab. Lights from an x-ray viewer light the path, and a skeleton lies near where mom was about to get surgery. I turn my nose at it, and follow the sound of chattering voices.

"Dad!"

I yell, storming into the small sitting area. Dad looks at me, his arm around mom.

"Dizzy."

He responds, all sorts of cool and calm.

"Dad who the hell is this? You can't just go around trusting people! Isn't that what you told me? Dad! We should go _now_!"

To my surprise, he laughs. Dad laughs. I don't think I've heard him laugh more than a handful of times in my entire life. He didn't even laugh when we played tea-party together.

"Dizzy, relax. John is someone I once knew, as I said before. He means us no harm. Come and sit."

"No!"

"She has your stubbornness."

That stupid man says and I turn right to him.

"I don't know who you are, or what you intend to do, but this is _my_ dad! He's _mine_ and you're not going to take him away! I'll kill you myself!"

I raise my gun, but before I can do anything else, I feel Cain's arms wrap around me, and my feet lifting off the ground. Dad stands up and takes my gun from my hand. With a bit of a struggle, that is. He empties the bullets, and hands it back to me. John howls with laughter.

"Only you would have to deal with the sufferings of raising a daughter, Charon."

"Her stubbornness comes from her mother, and she's quite the handful."

"I can imagine boys knocking on the door, trying to break it down to get to her."

"They weren't that stupid."

Cain sits me down and I sigh angrily. I still don't trust this man, but the look mom is giving me tells me to behave.

"Dad kept me on a short leash."

"You're still on one, Dizzy."

He sits back down, while John's stupid face smirks in amusement.

"Daughters are a lot more difficult than sons, that's for sure."

He talks like he has kids himself. I cross my arms over my chest, and give Cain the death glare.

"Are you two together?"

John asks me, and the question kind of knocks me off my feet. Mom and dad really didn't ask about us, even though they both knew. I swallow hard, and nod my head, sort of afraid of the reprimand from my parents. Even though it won't happen.

"I see. And Charon, you stated Cain is adopted? That Dezbe found him?"

"No. Charon is not my father, Dizzy is not my mother. They raised me as their son, but I'm not. I am only tied to them now by Dizzy."

Cain blurts in, standing and brave.

"And your connection to Charon."

"I was _based_ off of him. I am _not_ him."

"Regardless of what you wish to believe, know that I designed the original blueprints for your creation. I know a lot more about you, than even you do."

"Yeah? Prove it."

At this point, Cain is more confronting than me.

"You have a connection to Charon, as it was designed that way. When something happens to either one of you, the other knows. Not only that, but the pairing bond is quite strong."

"…Pairing bond?"

I look over at mom, while John and Cain have their stupid tit-for-tat.

"I explained to Charon earlier. Had you been in the room you would also have heard. Yes a pairing bond. The main reason men and women were kept apart during training and even after, was because due to their training, had they worked for someone of the opposite sex, the loyalty to that person would be unbreakable. Life, and emotions, find a way even in the darkest of moments, and even in the most brainwashed person. Since Charon, was so alone and broken, without a mother, he is forever loyal to Dezbe, despite straying. He associates her, with safety, and care, things that nobody before him had been shown. Your bond, is much deeper than that, since it is artificial, not psychological."

"Without Dizzy, I will die."

"Precisely."

"But I already knew that, and I'm sick of people reminding me!"

Cain slams his hand down. My dad and mom are stuck together for life. I bet mom can move on if she wanted, but dad is kinda stuck in the mud on this one. Cain's issue is a lot more pressing, and I decide to keep my head down. For a minute.

"Charon, the boy is so much like you."

John says. It's not mocking, or cruel, more like an obvious statement. Cain looks away, angry now. I stand up and keep my arms folded. I don't like John any more than Cain does at this point.

"We don't even know who you are, or what you meant to my father, and you're sitting here passing judgment on us. I'm his _daughter_, and damn if nobody has taken that lightly."

"Dizzy, calm down, child. I can understand why people would rather run from you, instead of towards you. Your father is a powerful, unstoppable force when angered. I have seen so firsthand. Have you?"

All of a sudden, I hate to admit it, but John's right. I've never seen my father entirely angry. I've never seen the passion of him caring so much, that he'd tear apart towns to protect my mom. I've never seen it, but I want to. I don't know why.

"No."

"I have."

Cain says, and I look at him, confused.

"Before you were born, Dezbe was pregnant. Like, _big_ pregnant. Raiders attacked Megaton, and I was too little to fight then, too. But Charon…the things he did to some of them. Anyone who got near Dez was killed almost instantly. And what he did to the Raider that almost shot her right in her stomach…"

Cain shudders and trails off. I look at my dad, and he nods his head.

"I'm not proud of what I do, when threats come close to my family. But I do what must be done, as anyone would."

I know my dad is strong. He's a killer, a mercenary, and powerful. To me, he's strongest in the world, and Cain is second. But to picture him hurting people so badly, it makes Cain shudder, is hard. I get why he did it, I don't think less of him, I just think of how close I really came to pushing him over the edge with all my antics. What if someone, a friend or something of mine, really got hurt?

"It's just hard to imagine. We played tea-party together."

John laughs at this. While my family is use to my dad being soft with me, he obviously, isn't.

"Did you answer a fake phone when it rang and she handed it to you, too?"

John asks my dad, who shamelessly nods his head.

"When your child does something like that, no matter how big you are, you answer it."

I'll admit it, it made me smile too. To think back to when I had a pre-war phone, taken from some rubble. I would hit the broken buttons, and play with the broken piece. Whenever dad walked by I would make this annoying buzzing sound and hand him the face-piece. I'd say 'For you! For you!' and he would take it, and pretend it was someone very important on the other line. They'd give him orders, and together, we'd execute this very intricate mission. Although it always ended with me going to bed. Or nap. I hated naps.

"I remember that, dad."

I tell him, giving him a soft smile.

"Being a father…is one thing I never expected from you, Charon. A normal life, yes, but to go as far as to make a child…"

"It was hard to envision what I once was, transforming into who I am now. I understand."

It's hard for me to see my dad as anything other than my dad. I can't imagine him being a ruthless killer, though I don't doubt that he ever was. It's just maybe, since I'm his daughter and grew up with him always loving and caring about me. I rarely, even now, see him angry.

"Your daughter…she reminds me of pre-war…"

John says, and everyone looks at me. I light a cigarette and jut my jaw out. Mom does it too when she's mad.

"I'm _not_ pre-war."

Between you and me, I have this deep-nested hate for pre-war. Mom would show me the clothes and pictures and whatnot. It seemed so dull. So boring. What I could get from Gob growing up, was that pre-war had these things called 'taxes' and 'law'. Megaton has rules, and that's fine. Step outside the boundaries though and you're free as a Mirelurk in the open sea. Gob said it wasn't like that. That there were rules even in the open sea. I don't like the clothes. I don't like anything about it. The only thing I do like is possibly putting an awesome twist on pre-war when I get to New Vegas. I can picture those ladies mom showed me holding guns and looking all sorts of badass classy. That's the kind of stuff I like. None of this stupid, pre-war lawful bullshit.

Absentmindedly, I rub some dirt off my face. I glance at the back of my hand to see the smudge. I can't picture my mom coming over and making a fuss over how dirty I've gotten. In pre-war, moms did that. I don't want that.

"How so?"

I hear dad ask, and I look over at John.

"The short hair. The blue eyes. She has this…Charon, you remember them, right? They ran the streets at night?"

"The hoodlums?"

"Ah, yes. You see I never saw them as lawless, though. They were always free in my eyes. A freedom I still can't obtain. That's who Dizzy reminds me of. One of those wild and free children."

"My mom was one."

I say blowing smoke. I still do not like this man one bit. I toss a backwards look at Cain, asking with my eyes if we can please just go home and meet the parental units there. To my anger he looks away. As much as he's disowned mom and dad as his parents, he misses them just the same. Dumb boys.

"Dizzy, you have no idea what I was like."

"Are you going to tell me, in real detail?"

Mom gives me a smirk, and flips her hair back in this real smug way. I think this is the most time we've spent together in one room, all of us I mean, without someone trying to rip someone else's head off.

"I was _wild_…"

She says it like she's talking about sex. Weird as that sounds. I'm not too good with words. Dad rolls his eyes, and I eagerly listen as he looks at me, then John.

"Dezbe was a character back then."

"I still am."

"Regardless. Dizzy, it's hard to describe really, what your mother was back then. It was something, you'd simply have to see."

"Your father isn't the best on telling moments when he wasn't there."

I cock an eyebrow, and sit at their feet. Cain sits beside me. Although he's known their history far longer than I have, this part…is new to both of us. Mom and dad have three people, eagerly listening for their unedited version of one another. All they do, is sit a bit closer to each other.

"Before I met your father, I had two or three months to myself. Fresh in the Wasteland, I didn't know how to survive out here. But I had to learn fast, or die. I became…more or less a one-woman Raider gang, with a slight Jet addiction. The silence and solitude caused me to develop an independence, yet dependence on myself, that I didn't have in the vault. I was…am, free, in a much different sense than you are, Dizzy. You have parents who love you, and worry. My mother died before I was born, and my father at that time was off working on Project Purity. I was completely, and utterly alone."

"What about when you met dad? Did your freedom change?"

Mom shook her head at my question. It seemed for a minute, tears were going to come out.

"No, my emotions did, though. I suddenly found myself dependent on your father. There was a time, where…you see, Dizzy, your father had terrible flashbacks. It would control him, and he became someone else. During one such moment, he attacked me. I had to defend myself. I believed, for five years, that I killed him."

"You and dad were separated for _five years_?"

She nods, looking at the ground.

"I spent those five years in a town far south. Alone, not talking to the townspeople, not wanting to. Eventually, I returned to Megaton. During this time, your father was dealing with his own demons. To protect me, from him, he hid that he had survived the fight between us. But, fate would have it, that we both return to Megaton at the same time. Shortly after our reunion, we found Cain."

Chatter emits from John, dad and mom. Cain is quiet, and I poke my cigarette out on the ground. I knew my entire life, that my parents loved one another in a way that nobody else could compare to. But, to hear that their love, was strong enough to survive five years of being apart, saddens me a bit. I mean, how many couples do you know have no communication for that long, and then suddenly pick back up again? None. What mom and dad have…I don't think I'll ever feel that way about anyone.

Standing up, I smile at my parents.

"I'm going to wait outside. I want to go back to Megaton tonight. Or at least try to. Is it okay if I wait outside and relax?"

Asking permission to do something at this point in my life is redundant. Still, I find myself doing just that. Dad and mom simply nod their heads in my direction, as they're distracted with John. It's best to give them time to catch up. Dad seems close to this old man. I don't know why, or how. Frankly, I don't want to know, really.

Cain follows me out. Through the deep water, up the stairs, around the lopsided platforms, and out the door. Our clothes weren't fully dried from our entrance, but the air outside is warm enough to keep us comfortable. Together we find a small, secluded spot to sit. We can see the door carefully, in case mom and dad walk out. They'll wake us, if we fall asleep. Worse to worse, we all just head back to Megaton and meet up there.

Sitting down, I put my gun on the ground and stretch out my legs. Cain does the same, and above us a million, billion stars litter the night sky.

"What's on your mind?"

He asks, lighting his own cigarette. I sigh, and lie back with my arms behind my head.

"Mom and dad."

"What about them?"

"Cain…that's something unbreakable they have. It's…almost unbelievable. I know they've been together since forever, but knowing that they're so much in love, that five years of no contact meant nothing…it…puts things into perspective."

"It must have been hard for both of them to be without the other, though."

"Yeah but aside from that, think of the reunion. How wonderful it must have been."

Cain shrugs, puffing smoke from his lungs.

"Charon told me the story. It wasn't as romantic as you're making it to be."

"Oh yeah? How so?"

"Dezbe was sad. Distraught. Five years had taken their toll, and it wasn't like she took care of herself. Charon said when he first saw her, she was skin, bone, and sunken eyes. He felt so much guilt for what he'd put her through in their time together, that at first, he didn't even want to renew the romance."

I sit up, as if I'm hearing my own love story.

"Really? What happened?"

"Dezbe took some old, pre-war medicine she found. It made her sick. Charon had promised to bring her here, to Rivet City, so she could have tests done. Between that is when she took the medicine. She got sick. Charon said that during their time laughing and joking, he just fell so much back in love with her that he didn't want to hurt her anymore. So when he knew she was safe, he left."

"…Dad left mom again? Then what happened? Do they get back together?"

I don't realize how stupid that sounds until Cain looks at me. For my own sake, and probably out of fear of what I'll do to him if he doesn't continue, Cain ignores my stupidity.

"Dez went back to Megaton. To wait. And she waited, but someone from that southern town came around looking for her. Charon went to escort an old man and a Brahmin back to The Pitt. I guess the old man had some good advice, because all of a sudden, Charon realized he was letting the woman he loved go to someone else. He felt guilty for hurting her, but I guess the guilt of hurting her in the past, didn't compare to the pain he would cause her if he didn't go back. So, he did. And then, they went to the Citadel Ruins, broke a bunch of shit, found me, and lived happily ever after."

I hang on his every word. I know they live happily ever after, I was a big part in that. But still. I guess you never really realize just how much moms and dads go through until it's all explained one day. And then all explained again. And so on and so forth.

"…You think, we could ever love one another like that?"

Since we've already seen one another naked, and done naked things together, I don't feel the need to tiptoe around him anymore. Once you see someone naked, there's not much else to be embarrassed of.

"No. I think what they have is special in its own way, and what we have is special in our own way. We haven't even started our own adventure yet, Dizzy. We don't know what the future will hold."

I shrug, displeased.

"I guess you're right but…imagine being so in love, that…nothing in the world could compare…"

"Imagine the suffering that comes with earning that love. Nothing worth it is easy, Dizzy. Even in this world. If it was, it wouldn't be worth it."

I want to argue him, but I know he's right. Instead I turn my head away and look up at the big, yellow moon. Well really tonight it's silvery, and blue-ish. I feel Cain's hand wrap around mine, and the roughness of his fingers.

"We're going to have fun, in New Vegas."

He says, almost as if he's actually excited about going. I look over at him, making sure he can't let my hand go even if he wanted to.

"You sound excited."

"I am. It's our life now. Ours. Nobody in the world can tell us what to do, how to do it, or anything. Nobody will know us there. We can even make new names for ourselves. Develop whole new identities."

"I like my name, and my identity."

"I'm just saying, it's a possibility."

I smile, and nod my head. I know what he means. While he's excited to get out of dad's shadow, I'm more excited to start my own adventure with him. I want to dance. And feel alive. People who've been to New Vegas either love it or hate it. Mom says there were too many laws for her, and she got into far too much trouble, too easy. Dad says he never went, and doesn't want to go. Something about the moral standard, or whatever.

It isn't long though, before we hear the steel door of the broken bow open up, and mom and dad walk out. They're all in this world together. So engrossed with what's going on between them that they hardly notice me and Cain walking up. We could have very well been laying there dead and they wouldn't even have noticed. I don't really blame them for that, though.

"Ready to head back?"

(Cain)

Rebuilding Megaton was no walk in the park. The fire destroyed almost half the town. Thankfully, steel doesn't burn well. It just gets hot, and since the fire wasn't hot enough to melt it, everything was still useable. By the time we had returned, most of the smaller homes had been rebuilt. Charon instantly went to check on the land, to make sure crops could still grow. He panicked for a bit, until Dez mentioned something about a 'slash and burn' technique. I don't know what it is, but I know it calmed him down. The farmers by trade and apprentice were set to work fixing that. Doc Church was busy caring to burn victims, and those annoying minor cuts and injuries that come with rebuilding a town. Everyone else just did what they could.

Really it was Gob who saved everyone in the end. His extensive knowledge of fixing the most obscure things came in handy. By the time all was said and done, a week later, we had not only rebuilt, but improved Megaton. A lot less steel went into fixing the ramps, since Gob taught everyone how to make something 'structurally sound'. Not only that, but he even had time to tinker with his own projects on the side. Zack stayed by his side the entire time, of course. I stopped him in passing to ask why he didn't spread out a bit more, and all he told me was that he was learning valuable information. Fixing things to Gob and Zack is what fighting and combat is to Charon and me. Zack figures he's more a 'stay home' fellow, whereas I'm heading out once I rest up. Fixing random things, making sound towns, that isn't going to aid me. What is, is knowing how to survive. Dizzy can pick up the slack on whatever I don't do. Though I highly doubt she will. It's going to take her a long while to adjust to the Wasteland. Especially when we're so far from home.

Our house was rebuild almost identical. Back to the two-room we had before Dizzy and I left. Charon and Dez once again figured it would be a waste of resources to make us sleep in separate rooms. I didn't argue it, but I also wish that they had. Mainly since she thrashes about these days and I wind up in the living room regardless.

"Hey Cain, come look what I've done!"

I hear Gob calling me from his shop. It's been three weeks, since we finished Megaton. I don't know why Dizzy and I haven't left yet. Knowing we can at any given point in time means we don't have to rush. Personally, I think she's going to miss her mommy and daddy.

"What is it?"

I say walking up to Gob. He has a workplace in the back, an outside attachment really. A small shed for his tools, and a giant piece of flat steel set on the ground to put his projects on. Before me, though, I see something I've never seen before. It has handles, an engine, two wheels and a seat.

"It's…interesting."

Which it really is, I just have no idea _what_ it is.

"It's a pre-war thing. Motorcycle. Figure if I could fix up an old truck, why not give it a go?"

"You could make a killing if you made these forms of transportation for everyone, Gob."

He shakes his head, smoking.

"Not enough resources, and doing it as a job means it isn't fun anymore. I like doing it for myself. Think Charon will like it?"

By now, almost everyone knows I no longer see them as my parents. They don't ask why, those not involved anyways. They just go with it, having better things to busy themselves with.

"When does his opinion matter to you?"

"He's riding it. Here he comes now. Charon!"

Turning, I see both Dez and Charon walking towards us. Dizzy is probably sleeping, since it's still fairly early in the afternoon. Lately, Charon and Dez have been joined at the hip. Neither one wanders very far from the other. It's been that way since they spoke with John.

"What do you think? Not bad for a Wasteland mechanic, eh?"

Gob asks, as Charon starts to inspect the machine that neither myself or Dezbe understand. She leans in to whisper something to me.

"It's called a moto-bike."

"Motorcycle."

Charon corrects her, hearing everything around him.

"Looks good, Gob."

He says, taking some goggles from Gob's hand. He puts them on his face, and I guess it's to keep the dust and sand out while he…rides it? I'm not sure what's going on exactly. Before I get the chance to ask, he kicks something down to the ground, and without hesitation the thing roars to life, louder than I anything I've heard before. I almost want to cover my ears. But Charon gives no time for question, he just makes it go, and before we know it, he's outside Megaton.

"He told me the other night he was trained to ride those in pre-war days. Supposedly, you never forget how. Looks dangerous."

Dezbe says, and I just shrug.

"He can handle himself."

"I didn't mean it was dangerous in a bad way."

"Don't tell me you're going to get on that thing."

She looks up at me, and from being with Dizzy my entire life, I know that look well. They both have it. That troublesome gleam in their eyes that just says 'Oh, yeah, I'm about to do something really bad'. I have no idea how I'm going to put up with that side of Dizzy, once we're away from her parents. It makes me shudder.

"Well, it would be against my religion if I didn't."

"You have a religion?"

"Myself. I worship myself, and everyone else should too."

Charon comes back, and Dez hops on without even waiting for him to come to a full stop. By now all the Megaton citizens are peering over to see what their mayor is doing on a strange, pre-war transportation device. Most of them look quite confused, some scared, and I think a few children are crying from the noise. It doesn't seem to bother either one of them, though, as they ride off past the outskirts of town. I don't think they'll be back anytime soon.

"It really terrifies me how much she reminds me of Dizzy."

I tell Gob, nervous and lighting a cigarette. Mostly because I have to deal with Dizzy alone soon enough, and if she's anything like Dez in her wanting to have near-death experiences constantly, I'm going to have more than just my hands full.

"You mean, it's scary how much Dizzy reminds you of her."

"You know what I mean."

"But you've known this your entire life. Why's it bothering you now?"

I sigh, blowing smoke out in front of me. Gob pulls up two stools and we sit down. He's always been my unofficial go-to guy. Both him and Zack, really. He ends up coming out and sitting with us, before I'm able to explain to Gob why it bothers me now, and didn't every other time.

"I guess really, because I know I'll be out there alone with Dizzy. I don't doubt my abilities to protect her, but I worry things will get out of hand. That I'll mess up or something."

Gob leans back, while Zack looks around the town.

"I get what you're saying. There's always room to worry out in the Wasteland, be it Mojave, or Capitol. It's nothing to busy yourself with right now. There's nothing you can do about it when it happens."

"You're right. I'm going to head back to the house, see if Dizzy is awake yet."

"Alright kid."

Gob always gives good advice. Mostly he just states the obvious. Charon used to tell me it was Gob who often reunited him and Dez. Once, when I was younger, I saw Gob kiss Dez on the cheek. I asked her if there was ever anything between them. With Dez always talking to him, him being the first friend she made out here, and them being so close, one has to suspect something. She confided in me, that yes, there was. Charon didn't, and still doesn't know about it.

The story goes he up and left once. Left to fight the Outcasts. At the time, he hadn't informed Dez of anything. She didn't know if he was coming back, or if he had left her for good. So in her loneliness, she sought comfort with Gob. I understand her actions, but I also understand why she didn't tell Charon. Why neither of them did. Imagine the anger he would have felt, knowing his woman slept with his best friend. But he did bring it upon himself. I'm not sure, if at the time, he would have saw it that way, though.

Getting back home, I shake the thoughts of those two from my mind. The only reason they're there, is to remind me that if they can survive, I can too. Mainly, if Charon can survive, I can too.

"You're back."

Dizzy says, catching me off guard. She's dressed in one of my shirts, and it hangs to just the tip of her thighs. Strutting around the kitchen table, she hugs me and kisses my cheek. Her annoyance factor has definitely diminished lately, although she has her moments.

"Where were you?"

Erica came round here while we were working on the interior of the house. It made Dizzy mad, so now she thinks I'm always gallivanting around somewhere with her. But her passive-aggressive nature of it doesn't bother me. We'll be leaving here soon enough anyways.

"I was talking with Gob and Zack."

She raises an eyebrow, but knows the story can be proven if she goes to ask Gob. Which, she has.

"Why do you not trust me, anyways?"

I ask as she dips into the living room, yawning and stretching.

"Good looking guy like you, and our relationship all secret…I have to worry."

"No, you should just trust me."

"I trust you. I don't trust…her."

She curls her nose at the thought of Erica, and sits down on the pre-war sofa. I follow, and sit beside her, putting out my cigarette in a nearby ashtray.

"If you trust me, then everything should be good."

"Yeah, well, I just don't like her."

"Stop being a brat."

"Cain, you're really handsome. And strong, and safe. A lot of girls out here go for that."

I roll my eyes and run my fingers through my hair.

"And what about when we get to New Vegas? There's women everywhere there. Half-naked, too, according to Dez. What're you going to do then? Fight the lot of them?"

"I can try."

I sigh. There's no winning.

"Diz, you have to understand that even if I wanted to leave you, I couldn't."

That comes out worse than I had intended it. Before I can correct myself, Dizzy gets up and storms off in a fit of quiet rage. What I had meant to say was that I couldn't leave her, because I didn't want to. Reminding her that we're stuck together, despite if we like it or not, wasn't probably the best way to go about things. Groaning, I get up and go follow her up the stairs.

"Dizzy, you know that's not what I meant."

Sometimes I think she just likes the negative attention, because it's negative attention. The bedroom door slams shut, and I make my way up the steps.

"Come on, stop being a brat."

Opening the door, I see her sitting on the bed, with her back to me. I shut the door, knowing we're alone for an undetermined amount of time, and also knowing that I'll hear Charon and Dez before they actually get here. Getting on the bed, I wrap my arms around her and kiss the side of her face.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. Come on, stop being a child."

"Yes you did. You did mean it like that. What if one day you decide you don't like me anymore?"

"That's impossible, Diz."

"Impossible because of feelings, or programming?"

She squirms out of my grip and folds her arms over her chest. I rub my eyes. Relationships can be a pain.

"Is that what this is about?"

Recently, Diz picked up a new paranoia on if I love her because of her, or because I have to. I'm not sure where it came from, but it was just after the Erica incident, so I'm sure whatever seed was planted due to that, grew into a giant, twisted tree.

"Well how do I really know you care? It could be you really caring, or some program telling you to care."

"That's now how it works, and you're aware of that."

John sent home the blueprints he had of, well, me, with Charon. We went over them together, just me and Dizzy. I am a machine, but one with free thought and will. Except when I get close to someone. Then I protect them, or else I die, really.

"Look, nothing in what created me said that I had to feel anything for anyone unless it was to protect them. I do protect you, I do keep you safe, so therefore I fulfill all that I need to do. The emotions are mine, and mine alone. You were right there with me when I read it. I shouldn't have to remind you."

"But you should reassure me."

"I do every night. I give you attention, cuddle, talk to you, and all that other fun stuff."

"I guess."

"Now will you stop being a brat?"

She sighs, and looks over at the floor. I follow her gaze, and see that there's a pack sitting there. It's half full, with trinkets around it.

"You've started packing for New Vegas?"

Dizzy nods, and lights a cigarette.

"I was wanting to go soon. It's getting stuffy here."

"Is Dez questioning you about us?"

Dez is like a teenager. She always has to know everyone's business. Especially her daughter's. I understand that, but Dizzy, she's a bit more than just overprotective of what we do when we're alone. She's been that way since we were kids, though. She's always seen our time alone together as special and important, not wanting to share it with anyone else.

"She's _always_ asking about us. I don't know why."

"You're her daughter. She has a right to worry."

"It isn't worry, it's just curiosity I think. It's annoying and I hate it."

Dizzy lays down, putting her head on my chest. Whenever we're apart, I always get fatigued and tired. It's always been there, but since our first kiss and the night we spent, it's gotten worse. Of course before I knew what I really was, I always thought it was me getting sick a lot. I notice the difference in my energy levels, though, from when we're apart and together. Like right now I feel like I could move mountains, with just one hand. I know if I go down to see Gob again for a few hours, I'll feel tired and sluggish.

"Well, just keep doing what you've been doing and you'll be alright. Pretty soon we'll be out on our own. Maybe she knows that and wants to spend time with you."

"Maybe. I guess."

I stroke her short hair, and look up at the ceiling. The plane that Charon made me was destroyed in the fire. It makes me sad, for some reason. I always liked that plane. Dizzy lifts her head, and presses it into my chest. She mutters something, but I can't hear it.

"I can't hear what you're saying. Pick your head up."

She does, but looks away.

"I said…that I love you."

To be honest, neither one of us have really been very verbally emotional. On my end, I figured it was understood how we felt. On Dizzy's end, I can't really say. She bites her lip, nervous and looking away. It takes me a minute, to really soak in what she's saying. The last time she said that, we were really small kids, and she meant it in a totally different fashion. It all of a sudden hits me.

I mean everything to her. We're leaving home together, and I will be the only thing she has to depend on. The only person, keeping her safe, making her laugh, giving her company. Dizzy won't ever admit it, but she's a daddy's girl. She was never too far from him growing up, and knowing that she's going to be leaving both her parents for an undetermined amount of time, must terrify her.

All her life, I've been there for her. Except, not in this way. Now it's different. I have to be there for her, in an entirely different sense. She needs my support, as her protector, and boyfriend, I guess. I never gave this journey much thought. Now, I have to. Because I have to be strong for someone, in more than one way. And if I feel the same, I have to tell her.

"I love you too, Diz, you know that."

She gives me a smile, and relief washes all over her. Admitting it made me feel something strange. It's not bad strange, but good strange. I can't quite put a finger on it.

"You never told me before. I didn't know if you did."

"I didn't think there was a need to. I thought you knew."

"A girl likes to be reminded, of how their man feels about them."

I smile at her and kiss the top of her head. She's still smiling, and in the distance I hear the noise of Charon's go-bike. Or whatever it's called. Motorcycle.

"What the hell is that noise anyways?"

"Charon's new toy. Come on, let's go see them."

I sit up, and Dizzy grabs her Raider outfit. She still loves that thing.

"Dad has a new toy? What is it?"

"I don't know. Some pre-war bike thing. As you can tell, it's loud."

"I gotta see this."

The noise drowns out the conversation, and the second she gets her boots on she runs past me. I hear him cut the engine just outside the house, and leave the bedroom in time to see Dizzy running full force out of the front door. Sighing, I go and follow. So much for a tender moment.

Outside the house, Charon and Dez are getting off the bike. Dez has a wide grin on her face, while Dizzy runs around them checking out what it is.

"No, you're not getting on it."

Dezbe says, running fingers through her windblown hair.

"But mom! You did!"

"Because I am your mother and can do whatever I want. When you get to be my age, you can too."

"You hardly act or look your age."

Dizzy tries to insult her, but it fails.

"Thank you."

Charon chuckles as he shakes himself off. Layers of sand and dust come off his leather armor, and I lean against the outside wall of the house.

"I haven't done that in years…centuries…wow."

"Fun?"

I ask, lighting another cigarette.

"Yes. Not as miserable as I remember it to be. Then again the last time I rode one I was travelling up to Anchorage, so things were grim."

Dizzy gets bored with staring at the bike, and comes over to me. She puts her hand in mine and stares at her parents.

"I want to leave soon."

Of course, that's not the right way to tell your parents you've already half-packed your life into a small rucksack, and that you're heading out on a cross-country trip with your android-boyfriend with little to no experience of survival. Needless to say, they freaked out. Not at me, I had nothing to do with any of this, but at Dizzy.

"You need more supplies than what you have. How the hell do you think you're going to get there in one piece, on foot, with supplies just for a few weeks? It's going to take _months_ to get there by foot! And no, you're not hopping a ride like I did. That's irresponsible and dumb! Charon!"

"Your mother is right, Dizzy. I agree with her. You need a lot more training and knowledge about life in the Wasteland."

"Not only that but you're barely eighteen! You can't wait another year? I know we said we'd let you go, but honey the two of you only just got home, and you're both finally so happy, why ruin it? Why put so much strain on a relationship, when there doesn't need to be any?"

Charon clears his throat at that, and gives Dezbe a wayward look.

"Not to play Devil's Advocate, but we did say we would allow the New Vegas trip. And there were _many_ times, far too many, in which you put our relationship through turmoil. Unnecessary danger, as well. Not to mention the countless near-deaths…"

"Charon! That was _before _I became a mother! What we did-"

"You."

"What _I_ did was stupid and irresponsible! I don't want my child going through every little bit I did. Do I have to remind you of how the Outcasts enjoyed mine and Amata's visit to get you?"

Charon winces, and clenches his fists. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but it couldn't have been good. Not with the way Charon is acting about it.

"I trust Cain to not let anything like that happen to Dizzy. Not to mention, I was contracted back then. Cain, is not. He is an improvement over my creation, and you need to trust in that as much as I do. We told them they could go. It is up to them to decide when to leave."

Charon looks over at a calm me, and an annoyed Dizzy.

"Stay for the reminder of the week. You know the town is having a celebration now that trade is good and homes are finished. The Brahmin have even returned. Leave after that. For…appearances sake."

Charon hates the public functions, but as mayor of Megaton, he has to go. I don't like them either, but Dez and Dizzy always do. Which makes both mine and Charon's night even more miserable. To my shock and surprise, Dizzy doesn't argue with either one of her parents. She just nods her head and shrugs.

"Okay. But then I'm leaving."

"Young lady you better make sure you do your best to keep in contact."

Dez says, trying to be stern. I think it's hard for Dizzy to take her mother so seriously, what with her looking so young.

"How? Yelling?"

Charon chuckles again.

"She has a point, Dez."

"If I knew parenting would be this way..."

"Imagine what you put your father though growing up."

"Just shut it, Charon."

They go walk around Megaton together, playfully bickering the entire way. I smirk at it. Even to me, it's refreshing to see a happy couple out here. Dizzy tugs on my hand, grabbing my attention.

"They're strange parents."  
I laugh at her statement. Sure, Dez and Charon have strange parenting techniques, but their hearts are in the right place. I stop laughing, and smile at Dizzy.

"Yeah, but they mean well. You're their only child. It's natural to worry."

"…Before you got all…different, you were their child, too."

I shake my head, looking off in the distance towards the Citadel Ruins.

"I'm not anyone's child, Diz. I don't have a mother, or father. Scientists created me."

"But they loved you like their own."

"Scientists created me, and humans raised me. That's the only reason I am who I am now, and we know it. Dez and Charon aren't my mother, or father. They're just the people who supported and raised me."

Diz looks at me, cocking her eyebrow. I take a drag of my cigarette, and mimic her expression.

"To me, that sounds like parents."


	67. Chapter 67

(Dizzy)

Surprise! There's a brand new awesome adventure for my family! No, I am not with a child, thank Atom. But there's this thing in pre-war times, that when a guy really likes a girl, they get married. I'm not too sure of the details, I just know that it doesn't matter in Wasteland times. Except, to dad, it does. Turns out he went off and proposed to mom in this uncharacteristically romantic way. Of course mom thought the whole thing was weird and hilarious, but she went along with the 'romantic date' because dad put so much effort into it. She came home laughing and crying all at once to tell me the great news.

She had to explain most of it to me, after dad explained it to her. She said 'yes', obviously, but confided in me that she didn't see the point in marriage these days. Said it was different in the vault, but out here, since there's no rules or regulations, that it was just a tradition. Mom, doesn't like traditions, really. Either way they're getting married by some strange man from Megaton on the night of the big celebration. You know, the party for rebuilding Megaton. Makes sense now, why dad asked me to stay for that thing. If I had known he was going to do something like this, I wouldn't have been so bent out of shape about it then.

But can you blame me? I'm just really excited to finally be with Cain, all on my own. Now that I know how much he cares about me, I just want to our lives together to start. I want to have our own adventures and stories and fights. I'm sick of living in my mom's shadow. I want my own love story. I don 't see why mom and dad are so worried about us leaving though. The way I see it, once Cain and I set off, they have all the alone time they could ever ask for. They're always complaining about how they never get personal time and all that, anyways. Well mom is. Dad just shrugs whenever she gets on his ass about it.

"Dizzy?"

Mom knocks on my bedroom door. I don't know where Cain ventured off to, but he's somewhere in Megaton. I'll probably see him later, he can't be gone for too long or he gets sick and sluggish.

"Yeah?"

She comes into my room, and shuts the door behind her. I'm lying on the bed, being lazy on this warm day. Then again all days out here are warm. And bothersome.

"What's up mom?"

I ask, sitting up, since it's not common for her to be quiet. Usually when she comes in here it's to talk about me, New Vegas, or Cain. All these conversations start before she even opens the door. Mom sits on my bed, sighing.

"I'm worried about Cain. Tonight…is a big night. I need to relax, and not worry. Regardless of how Cain views Charon and I, I still worry."

"Want me to talk to him?"

"Could you? I have so much to take care of before midnight."

Midnight is when the ceremony takes place, it's usually the peak of Megaton celebrations.

"Sure, where is he?"

"Near Vault 101."

That far? He's that far away? I look at mom, and she nods slowly.

"He wanted to view Megaton from a high place. You should go soon, quickly. As in get going."

I don't waste any more time. Grabbing my gun, I strap it to my hip and take the stairs three at a time.

"Hi dad! Bye dad!"

I say as I run past him in the kitchen, and out the door. Mom can fill him in. It's weird, but once I step outside the house, I can feel Cain. I can feel where he is, as if he's some sort of integral part of me. Like listening and following someone's voice in the tunnels, I follow that feeling. Maybe it's the worry, the excitement, the mixture of joy and anxiety that bubbles and boils with all the impending changes that actually lead me. I don't know. I just know, that by the time I see him sitting up by the doorway entrance to the gear door of Vault 101, I breathe a sigh of relief. And exhaustion.

My legs don't really want to climb the hill up to him, but I remind myself this is cake compared to heading to New Vegas. That the trip there is going to be a million times more grueling than this. It makes me dread going, but helps with pushing me up the slight hill. When I get there, Cain notices me, but doesn't look. I follow his gaze, and it's beautiful. You can see everything. The yellow smog that once filled this air is slowly dissipating, as the grass from Megaton gives a light green glow. The grass is growing back, healthy, lively. The sky above me is blue, and crystal clear in some places. I can see the city. I can see the monument. Up here…is beautiful.

"What do you want?"

His tone isn't mean. It's more…wondering. With a twinge of sadness. He's been in an off mood lately. I don't know why. I thought he was talking with Gob earlier. I had no idea he ventured this far away. But just by looking at the back of his head, I can tell he's glad to have the energy back.

"I came because mom is worried about you."

"Why?"

"Taking off this far, isn't good."

Sitting next to him, I light a cigarette and lean back. His legs dangle off the edge of the cliff, mine stay folded in front of me.

"Hm."

"What's on your mind? If we can't talk, our relationship won't work."

He looks at me, and lights his own cigarette.

"…I've been thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"Me."

"Selfish."

The glance he gives me makes my sarcasm dissipate. He's serious, and upset. Right now is not a time for jokes.

"Sorry. Really, though, what's wrong?"

Cain closes his eyes, like he's in pain. When he opens them, there's water. I've never known Cain to cry. At least, not over thoughts in his head.

"I watch Charon and Dez preparing for their ceremony. They're so happy, with the life they created together. It's envious."

"You can be happy, too."

"Not like that."

"If dad can be, you can be."

He puffs his cigarette, blowing smoke out in a thick cloud.

"…Because he was born in this world. I don't feel like I belong. Or deserve that kind of happiness."

"What're you saying?"

"I was created, not born here. I don't belong. I'm different, than anyone else."

I toss my cigarette over the cliff, and lie down on my back, with my arms above my head.

"Hey you see the sun?"

I ask him, smiling.

"Yeah."

"It's bright, and warm."

"I know."

"Well, if we can see the sun the same way, why can't we see the world the same way, too?"

"What do you mean?"

I sit up, and lean my head against him.

"I don't think it matters really, who belongs in this world or not. I think it matters that you are, and that's it. There's androids, robots, ghouls and humans alike. Probably more things and beings we've never seen or heard of before. But that doesn't matter, because they're different. Everyone's different, Cain. In their own right, anyways. But we all enjoy the world, we all go through the same sadness, and we all wonder who we are. It's natural, to wonder about yourself. To want to belong. But isn't that awesome? Isn't that the most fun, to wonder about all these things? Because a lot of things can't. The plants that grow, the Wadsworths we create, they can't. But we can."

Cain looks at me, smiling. I look back up and him, and flash an even bigger smile.

"Sometimes, you're really wise, Diz."

"I'm sure dad had the same thoughts when he met mom. He started to wonder who he was, and where he belonged. In the end, he found it. I'm sure at the end of our story, we'll figure it out too."

I stand up, and he stands with me.

"In the meantime, mom is really worried sick about you. She's got a lot to worry about, so let's not push our luck anymore. The ceremony is tonight, and you know it's going to go until tomorrow. We should relax, and be happy today, like everyone else. We have centuries together, to worry about things. Let's take a few days not to."

Cain kisses my head, and hugs me on the cliff overlooking the Capitol Wasteland.

"Thank you, Diz."

I smile up at him, and we kiss. Giving him a smile, I tug him to get moving. Mom and dad are all sorts of nervous and busy. They don't really need us making them worry more. I guess…knowing that I'll be going clear across the country soon is kind of making me wise up here and there. Mature a bit. I see things differently.

Really, I've been thinking a lot about my parents. About how worried they're going to be. You know, it is a miracle I was even born. Dr. Barrows' pill could have not worked. Mom could have been too hurt to have kids. But somehow, everything played out. According to everyone involved, I was a healthy, happy, newborn baby. Gob said dad even cried when he first held me. That he…dad was…that dad was just so nervous.

It kinda makes me feel funny to think of it. You know, my dad being all sensitive. Gob says that he was, though. He was so happy, and proud. That he stayed up and counted all ten fingers, all ten toes, and when I had them all he laughed. But, I guess, with dad's past and all, a family to him was never plausible. Possible, really. So, thinking of it all, and how much they really went through, without glorifying and romanticizing everything, makes me…sad. It makes me see things differently, and appreciate them a lot more.

We head into Megaton, and everyone is scurrying about. Any excuse to celebrate, and they will. Cain has more color in his face than he did at the cliff. Being around me helps him more than he wants to admit. Still, I can see he's happier. Hopefully my words of uncharacteristic encouragement helped.

"I'm gonna go talk to dad, I'll see you later."

I tell him as he heads off into town. He's probably going to help the townsfolk get ready. I take a different direction and head back to the house. I really do want to talk to dad, and I figure by now he should be home. Walking into the kitchen, I see his shotgun on the table. Mom's gun isn't anywhere near it, so maybe she isn't home anymore.

"Dad?"

I call, looking into the sitting room. He's probably upstairs.

"I'm in my room, Dizzy."

I smirk as I walk up the steps.

"Hey, dad, I wanted to talk to you."

Opening his bedroom door, I almost gawk and laugh at what I see. He's dressed in some pre-war suit, trying to tie something long around his neck.

"What the hell are you wearing?"

Chuckling, I sit down on my parent's bed. Hey they do it to me.

"The suit for the ceremony."

"It isn't until midnight."

"I have to at least try it on. Your mother is wearing a pre-war dress."

Never have I seen him in anything but his armor. It's kind of refreshing to see him in something else. And strange. Very, very strange.

"You look like some New Vegas gangster."

"And how would you know what one looks like, Diz?"

"From what mom told me. You really do. It's kind of scary."

It is. Picture a six-foot eight or ten ghoul, all sorts of muscular and lean, dressed in a fitted pre-war suit. I'm so used to seeing dad in his armor, that I never would in a million years think of him wearing something else. He does look really intimidating in it though. Like he's going to hang me out the window by my foot if I don't pay up some caps. He finishes tying the thing around his neck, and tucks it into the suit. Pulling at his cufflinks, he shrugs his shoulders.

"Does it look alright? I haven't worn one of these since before Anchorage."

"Yeah, you look really intimidating."

"Maybe Cain should take it to New Vegas. It's dangerous out there. If I look intimidating in it, he will too."

"Dad, nobody is going to hurt me."

I sigh, rolling my eyes.

"You are my daughter, Dizzy. My _only_ daughter. I am allowed to be worried about my child venturing so far from home in this day and age."

"You act like it's any more dangerous than pre-war."

"It is. Pre-war, nobody was allowed to kill or carry weapons."

"Trust me, dad, I'll be fine. I'm both you and mom combined, and nobody messed with you."

"Dizzy, everybody messed with your mother and I. That is why I am so worried."

Laying down and staring at the ceiling, I want to change the subject. He's going to have tons of time to lecture me tomorrow, later, or right before we leave.

"What was Anchorage, anyways?"

I ask him, genuinely curious.

"Anchorage was the war against the Chinese, in Alaska, before the bombs fell."

"Alaska?"

"A state up in Northern Canada, but part of the United States. Very cold, and very snowy."

"Sounds…weird."

"It was a weird time back then."

I look at him in his suit.

"Did all the guys back then wear those things?"

"Suits? Yes. It wasn't uncommon."

"Huh."

Dad gives me a look, and takes off the jacket to the suit. He gently folds it and places it on the old filing cabinet, and pulls up a chair.

"What do you need to talk to me about?"

I turn my head to face him, and sit up. I don't really know, exactly. I guess I just wanted to be near my dad.

"I dunno. I just wanted to see you. I'm going to be leaving really soon, and I want to make sure I don't forget what you look like."

"You'll be home soon enough, there won't be a need to worry."

"What if I really, really like it in New Vegas and don't wanna come home?"

"You won't. The Capitol Wasteland is your home, it always has been, and always will be. One day you'll wake up, miss it, and trudge back. New Vegas is very different than here. Lots of rules to follow, and dangers you've never faced before. You'll miss the Wasteland soon enough."

I don't want to admit it, but dad's probably right. I like it here, the lawlessness, the green grass that slowly spreads beyond Megaton, and the way the land is. There probably won't be grass in the Mojave Wasteland, and definitely no awesome stories of my parents to hear. I will come back home, and I figure both my parents know it. But both my parents also know I need to fly the nest and have my own life.

Dad stands up, and pulls me off the bed. He leads me downstairs, and into town. Silently, I follow him. It's his way of enjoying time with me, and vice versa, without either one of us having to say it. Together we help out the citizens of Megaton, who are all shocked to see him in his suit. We help prepare for the upcoming celebration, and make small talk along the way. As we're checking out the Brahmin, dad smiles at me.

"I'm proud of you, Dizzy. I know you'll be just fine out there."

It makes me smile. Years and years I've wanted nothing more than my father's approval and consent. I have both, and there's no real words to describe it. I'm going to do something great on my adventure. I'm going to make both mom and dad prouder than they've ever been. I can't wait.


	68. Chapter 68

(Cain)

The ceremony is nothing short of beautiful. Lights on strings, powered by a generator, flow from home to home above us. The air smells fresh, after we had a small shower of rain to diminish the hot desert heat. Billie Holiday sings a song on the radio, about moving mountains, and being called crazy in love. Gob stands between Charon and Dez, and all three smile. Dez cries tears of nervousness and happiness. She wears a white pre-war dress, ripped in areas, but befitting of the time we're in. Charon has on a suit, and although he has a calm disposition, he still looks threatening. They chose Gob to marry them, since he's been with them their entire time out here, and knows them better than anyone.

Dizzy stands beside me, watching with wide eyes. The whole day, after she spent some time with Charon, she followed Dezbe around, asking questions about their life together. For the first time, Dez shared an uncensored version of the story with her. Although there wasn't much time for talk, Dez told her what she could, making the tale of her parents even more romantic and adventurous. She came to me, awestruck and in shock. She asked if I knew it all, knew the full story word for word. When I told her I did, all Diz could do was shake her head, and say it was simply amazing. Everyone around us is quiet, listening to Gob speak about how long Charon and Dez have been together, and all their hard times, and laughs. The more he speaks, the more I find this Billie Holiday song befitting. I smile, proud and happy for them. They finally have their happy ending.

Glancing down at Dizzy, I see there's tears in her eyes. The lights twinkle and sparkle, some dripping with leftover rain. The entire atmosphere of Megaton right now, is beautiful and serene. Dezbe and Charon hold hands, as they stand facing one another. I feel Dizzy's hand clasp mine, and squeeze. She's just as nervous as Dezbe, although at this point, there's not a thing that could go wrong. Zack stands to my right, smiling as he remembers his own memories of Charon and Dezbe.

"…And with that, I officially unite you as husband in wife, in this post-apocalyptic wasteland, so that not even death can tear you apart."

Everyone cheers, while Charon and Dezbe share a deep loving kiss. Charon hides it well, but I catch a quick glimpse of tears on his face. Tears of happiness, for the man who never believed any of this would be possible for him. We all clap, holler, and shout praise and joy for the two of them. Although marriage out here is different than pre-war, or so I've heard, it meant a lot to Charon to marry. Dezbe might finally have some relief at being able to call Charon her husband now, instead of 'partner' or 'boyfriend'. There was nothing stopping her before, but she once told me in the vault, one did not call another their husband until a marriage ceremony took place.

A large feast has been prepared. Well, large by our standards, anyways. We don't have the resources to build a table large enough to seat every citizen, so instead we stand, enjoying one another's company, bringing chairs from our own homes to form small groups of people. Beer, vodka, and pure water floats around as common as air. Dizzy can't stop talking about how beautiful it was, about how pretty Dez looked, and how happy she is. How one day, she wants to do just the same thing, and have a Wasteland marriage. I just smile at her, sharing her happiness, simply not expressing it. We don't have much time to chatter, because soon it is time for the toasts. Zack stands up at the old saloon, while we were sitting in the crater and around it. He towers above everyone, and his voice is loud enough for everyone to hear. From within the crowd of faces, I find Dezbe and Charon. Before Zack begins officially, I drag Dizzy to them. They hug us, cry tears of happiness, and smile. Dizzy holds my hand tightly, as we all, stand and listen to Zack speak.

"What most of you probably don't know, is that I wouldn't be here today, if it weren't for Dez and Charon. As an infant, my home was raided by Brotherhood Knights. We lost everything. Underworld was destroyed, and my mother died protecting me. They took me from my father, as bait to lure Charon and Dez to them. What they didn't know, is that Charon and Dez do not negotiate with our modern-day terrorists. I was returned to my father, happy, healthy, and unknowing that anything had gone wrong. Growing up, I have nothing but the fondest memories of Charon and Dez. From learning how to defend myself, to feeling safer than I ever felt before. Together, they not only saved my life, but the lives of many, and we owe them much more than we could ever offer. To see them happy, free, and without fear for the first time in their lives, brings joy to me, and everyone they know. It's about time you two got some rest. Though I highly doubt Dezbe will be letting him rest once the honeymoon begins…"

Everyone laughs and claps. Dezbe's face is wet with tears, as Charon puts her arm around her. Dizzy tugs my sleeve, and I look down at her.

"I never knew that!"

She hisses, excited like a child first discovering a Gatling Laser.

"You'll be hearing a lot more."

"Really?"

I nod at her, as Gob takes Zack's place. Pointing up, I nudge her.

"Listen, and stay here."

It would be wrong of me to not also say something. Because like Zack, I wouldn't have lived, if it wasn't for Charon and Dez. And despite how life was given to me, I am still eternally grateful that I am able to live in a free world, instead of the one I was created in.

Standing against the old saloon, I look down at everyone, as a smile creeps over my face. Gob looks back at me, a bit nervous, and I give him a confidant look. He nods, and turns to face the crowd.

"I met Dezbe when she was nineteen, and fresh from the vault. For someone raised in seclusion their whole life, there wasn't much fear in the blood-splattered girl who walked into Moriarty's so many decades ago. Charon, was one of the founders of Underworld, and alongside him and many others, I worked. I knew him as a human, knew him as we both transgressed into ghouls, and until I left Underworld. I was surprised, the day Dez came in, Charon in tow. I didn't expect them to part ways. I never expected them to do anything less than fall in love. Because when you live, as long as I have lived, and seen all there is to see, you pick up on things others don't realize. Charon and Dez were in love, before they even knew what love was. When they chased one another all across the Wasteland, to when they stayed in on those rare nights of peace. Although they parted many times, and spent years apart, deep down I knew that they would either live together, or die alone. There would never be another person in this Wasteland, this world, whom could measure up to the other. And so, I can't express how happy I am for them. How thankful I am to have met them both, and how much gratitude I have for all the things they did for me along the way. I never would have gotten out of Colin's agreement, or been able to fall in love with Nova, had it not been for Dezbe. Never, would I have been able to see my child, if Charon hadn't blown the world to bits looking for him. I owe you two fucks my life, and damned I'll be if I ever admit that again. Congratulations you two. Just, don't get mad and start blowin' up shit again."

People laugh at Gob, clap, and smile. He turns to me, wiping a stray tear from his face. I think this is the first time I've heard how much Charon and Dez truly mean to the people here, and how much they changed the lives of everyone they came across. Good or bad, they did change lives, and the end result is nothing but positive.

"Your turn, kid."

Gob shakes my hand, and I give him a nervous smile.

"Do I even have a right?"

I ask, since aside from Dizzy, I've known them the shortest time.

"You have more of a right, than anyone else here. And I'm sure it'd mean a lot to them. They raised you."

"Yeah, they did."

It's just nerves, really. I've never spoken in front of a crowd, and I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. But that thumping, reminds me I'm not just an advanced android. It also reminds me, that I am human. And I wouldn't be a human, had it not been for Charon and Dezbe. Walking to the edge of the walkway, I place my hands on the rails, and look down. Instantly, I spot Dizzy, Dez, and Charon. They look up at me, and Dezbe gives me a reassuring look. As if she's still my mother, and telling me it'll be okay. I can't help but crack a smirk.

"…I've known Charon and Dezbe the shortest, except Dizzy. As you all remember, I once called them my mother and father. For good reason, too. When I was five, I lived in a place that created slaves. Slaves for combat, and self-success. You were not a person, where I was created, you were a number, and a number that could easily be replaced. It was a terrible place, and I feared it there, even though I was so young. One day, things were different. Everyone was on edge, and although we were all just small children, we knew something was not right. Sure enough, by the time lights out came, the place was madness. Us children, we didn't know what to do, so we hid together, beneath our beds, and waited. We didn't wait for very long, because the door opened, and Dezbe stood in the doorway. I was terrified of her. Her wild hair, scarred body, and especially of the gun in her hand. But when she spoke, any fear we had, fell short. And it was me, she picked up. Me she chose to take with her. She protected me that night. Charon, through all the chaos, didn't argue her choice. Although I remember him saying I was not a puppy, and could not be picked from a litter to be taken home. But she took me home. And when I told them, why I was so special, they took me in. Cared for me as their own. They gave me a life, that I never would have had, if I stayed inside that facility. They taught me things I never would have learned, watched me grow, and supported me. Although now, circumstances have changed, and I no longer call them mother and father, to me, they'll always be my parents. I'll always love them, and carry their words of advice with me. I don't think, there's a person here, whose life hasn't been changed for the better because of them, and I'm happy to finally see that they've also found the peace, they fought so long and hard for."

I'm shaking with nerves by the time I'm done. And shakily, I walk down to meet them in the crowd. More people speak, but I don't hear what they're saying. Instead I find Charon and Dez and Dizzy. I find them, and we hug one another.

"You'll always be a son to me, Cain."

Dezbe tells me, and I hug her tighter. A life. A family. A chance to learn, to grow, to fall in love. A chance to live. They gave this to me, without asking anything in return. I guess I never realized just how lucky I was, until tonight. I feel Charon's hand squeezing my shoulder as we all part. Dizzy smiles up at me, her short hair a mess.

"Dezbe, I have something for you."

Charon says as the last person stops speaking. She looks at him, confused.

"If we're supposed to get one another gifts, you're going to be severely disappointed…"

Dezbe says, and Charon laughs. Dizzy motions for me to follow her, and I figure it wouldn't hurt to sneak away from the party for a bit. When we're a bit away from the crowd, and closer to our home, she lets out a sigh.

"I never knew mom and dad did all that stuff like that."

"Diz, you knew the story."

"Yeah, but it's different hearing it from other people's perspectives."

"That's true."

"And we don't get any weddings in Megaton, so I guess this is kind of a big deal."

I'm about to say something, when something catches my eye. It's past midnight by now, and the moon is high. The shadows that the lights emit make it hard to see beyond the invisible property line of Megaton, but sure enough, I can see the outline of three figures. I left my gun inside, but hearing the familiar sound of clicking, I notice Dizzy didn't. She keeps hers on her hip at all times now, and has it aimed at the shadowy figures.

"Who's there?"

I call, and they take a few steps forward. I see now, they have no weapons. One has a bat, but that's nothing to be scared of. They're dressed in blue jumpsuits. Ones I recognize from the vault. I take my hand and place it on Dizzy's gun, lowering it. The people step closer, a male, and two females. They seem scared, and disheveled.

"We come from Vault 101…we…we left and wanted to see the outside world. We saw light coming from this place. We figured, it'd be safe here."

A woman with blonde hair says. Dizzy looks at me, more confused than anything. Her statement already told us why they're here, but right now I don't know if I should interrupt Charon and Dezbe's celebration for business. They never really get to have time off around here, and this seems unfair.

"It is safe here. What're your names?"

I ask them, as Dizzy holsters her weapon. The blonde says her name is Christine, the brunette, Amy, and the man, Jacob.

"Is there an Overseer here?"

An Overseer is like the president of a vault. Jacob asks the question, trying to be brave, but I can tell he's about as brave as a two-year-old facing a Yao Guai.

"A mayor, but tonight is his wedding celebration."

I tell them, and they seem to relax a bit. Dizzy grabs my arm, and pulls me down to whisper in my ear.

"They've never seen ghouls before."

That realization crosses my mind. And it isn't good. I know Charon is more than capable to deal with three runaways from a vault, but it might ruin the celebration. Quickly I formulate an idea.

"There's a common house in town, where people can rest and stay for free. Currency out here are bottle caps, and you'll need a gun. You can work in the town, to earn some money, or trade what you have. But you've lived in the vault for your entire lives, there are people out here you haven't seen or encountered before. Tonight is a night of celebration, and although you're scared, if you do anything to ruin it, we here will not hesitate to kill you."

"People…people _kill_ out here?"

Christine asks me, scared and obviously shaken.

"Yes. There isn't law here. If you don't like it, I suggest returning to the vault."

Folding my arms in front of my chest, I stand closer to Dizzy. Through the fright I can see Jacob looking her up and down. It could be from sheer curiosity, but I don't want to take my chances. They chose to arrive on the one night where things are to be happy and carefree, and the last full night Dizzy and I have before we leave for New Vegas. Their timing isn't the best.

The three of them share uneasy glances, but decide to stay anyways.

"Can we join in the celebration?"

Sighing, I nod.

"I'll lead you to the mayor. He's also the sheriff."

"What's he look like?"

I glance at Dizzy as Christine waits for an answer. She nods her head and goes to talk to the three vault escapees as I lead them all towards the music and crowd. A gasp behind me as we reach the edge of the crater tells me that Dizzy has just explained to them what a ghoul is. I shake my head, smirking as my hair falls in front of my eyes.

It takes a bit, but soon I find Charon and Dezbe. There's a piano in front of Dez, nothing big, and by the looks of it stolen from a vault. Which one I can't say. All I can say is that she's happy as she bounces around it in her white dress. Charon stands, watching her with his back to us. I stand beside him, not wanting to tell him about the newcomers on his wedding night.

"Dizzy and I found three Vault 101 escapees at the edge of town, near our house. They're with us now."

He looks at me, and I see the anger flash in his eyes. Turning around, we face Dizzy and the vault people. They stare at Charon, scared, shocked.

"That's my dad, mayor and sheriff of Megaton."

Dizzy says proudly, if not smug. Charon looks at them, and I hear Dezbe calm down to figure out what's going on. It's then I realize this isn't Charon's job, but Dez's. She came from the vault, and by association, it's her job to deal with them. So much for festivities. She pushes through myself, Charon and Gob, to stare at them.

"The offspring of Wally Mack, Freddie Gomez, and Christine Kendall. Who knew those three could make kids brave enough to leave the vault? Well, Freddie was always depressed in there. Guess his genes passed on."

The three people stare at Dezbe, who defiantly folds her arms in front of her. It seems, when she has to be brave and strong, her scars shine a bit more brightly. Especially the ones on her face.

"How do you know my mother?"

Christine, the blonde, demands. Jacob, pulls her vault suit, trying to signal her to calm down in the midst of all the people, noise, and general atmosphere.

"We're born in the vault, live in the vault, and die in the vault. That's such a stupid saying. I got out of there fast as I could."

"You're lying, we've never seen you around, and you can't be much older than us."

It's the second thing Amy has said since arriving. Dizzy stands in front of me, trying to mimic her mother.

"I'm a lot older than you think. Same age as Amata, though I think she just recently passed away…never got use to it out here anyways. Should have stayed in the vault."

"I don't believe you. You can't be from the vault. How do you look so young?"

Amy asks, now certain she can't cause a scene, but wanting to regardless.

"That's a long story. And one I don't want to share. I just got married and you three didn't pick the best of nights to show up. So are you going to stay or go? Because I'd really like to get back to my gift and my new husband until tomorrow."

The three of them share glances. Jacob nods, and takes center stage.

"We'll stay. We won't cause any trouble."

"Then hand over your bat."

He shakes his head at Dezbe, clutching the bat tighter. Charon steps forward, his body language is terrifying.

"Give me the bat, or I'll kill you where you stand."

Jacob relents, and soon things resume as normal. The citizens recognize them as newcomers, and figure their pleasantries can wait until morning. When Dizzy and I feel it's safe enough to sneak away again, we do.

"Think it's going to cause trouble, having them here?"

She asks as we sit atop the sniper perch rebuilt above our home.

"I can't imagine it will. Vault people don't usually leave, or chase after people who do."

"And here we all just wanted one night of peace and quiet."

"We get _many_ nights of peace and quiet, Diz. You're just curious about them."

"True, true. But still."

She moves towards me, and we kiss.

"Mom and dad won't be back for a while, I don't think…"

"They're spending the night in the Wasteland. They want their alone time."

I know exactly what she's hinting at.

"That means we get alone time, too."

All in all, tonight was a success. Tomorrow Charon and Dez will have to deal with the newcomers, and Dizzy and I have a lot to gather for our venture into New Vegas this week. But tonight, we'll take for ourselves. With the stress and the energy preparing for everything, we both figure it's time for an intimate break. I can't say I'm arguing that, either.


	69. Chapter 69

(Dizzy)

The day is here! It's here and everyone knows I cannot keep my excitement in! Last night, forget sleep. I tried, I really did because I knew today would be really exhausting, but I just couldn't sleep. Because this is the first day of my new life. Today, I start my brand new adventure. It's me, and Cain, and…nothing but the whole wide world ahead of us. And I've never been more scared in my entire life.

Sure, it's going to be fun, I don't doubt that at all, but it's still scary. The furthest Cain and I have ever gone, is The Pitt, and…we all remember how that turned out. What scares me is, what if it happens again? What if someone kidnaps me? Or Cain? Or somehow we get separated? There won't be mom or dad out there to come and save us. It's just going to be me and him, and if something happens to one of us, the other is screwed. It's probably just jitters, though. I may not know a lot about the Wasteland, or the world itself, but I know my abilities, and I know Cain's. Since mom came around here and everything, the Capitol Wasteland became a safer place. But that's just this side of the country. There's a whole different side, the side Cain and I are going to, that hasn't been influenced by mom. There's a lot of dangerous we can't even imagine out there. A part of me, truthfully, doesn't want to go, and risk it all. But I'm the daughter of two amazing wanderers and adventurers. I wouldn't be much of an offspring if I didn't leave Megaton.

Going downstairs, I see mom making breakfast. Which really means she's eating some food from the gardens we have around town. She hasn't made a family breakfast in years, since I don't usually wake up until late afternoon, and Cain and dad usually leave by early morning.

"Hey."

I say, jumping into a chair at the table. Mom looks up at me, and it looks as if she didn't sleep last night, either. My daughter instincts tells me this is a lot harder for her than it is to me. Since hearing her share a more detailed story of her past, I see her and dad a lot differently. And I feel bad about being such a brat in the past. They worked their asses off for a life out here, for themselves, and ultimately, for me. Cain came first, but, his story is a bit different.

"Dizzy, you're all grown up now."

Mom says it like there's something caught in her throat. I realize quickly, that she's just trying not to cry. Getting up, I hug her.

"Hey, I'm going to be alright. I'll send word once we get to New Vegas."

"It takes weeks, maybe months, I don't remember, to get there on foot. Your father and I are going to be very worried."

"Well, isn't that natural? I'm your kid, you're gonna be worried, but, don't let it bring you down. You have to trust me, mom."

She smiles at me, I guess because of how much I've changed in the past few months. Sitting back down, I fold my arms on the table and light a cigarette.

"I remember, when you were just a toddler, you were so attached to your father. As a baby and learning to talk and walk, you were all about me. It was great to see you so attached to him, and wonderful to see him be a father, after everything he's gone through. But now, that baby that followed him around, and made him fight imaginary monsters, and toss her in the air is leaving. I'm worried about you, but I'm more worried about him. He needs you right now, Dizzy."

Mom locks eyes with me, and I realize she's right. Mom had a fairly normal childhood, inside the vault and everything. Sure bad things happened to her, but nothing like dad. And this is a whole new emotional turning point in dad's life.

"Where is he?"

"Around town, I think. Check near the Vault 101 entrance if you can't find him. Him and Cain apparently both like going there when they need to think."

Hugging her again, I smile and she kisses my cheek.

"I'll be back mom."

She smiles that motherly smile she has. Of course she only gets it every now and again. Mom isn't very 'motherly'. She never was. More of a friend than a mom, really. But that's good. She's a friend whenever, but a mom when she has to be. Deep down I think she's pretty happy to see Cain and I set off. It gives her alone time with dad, and lord knows she hasn't been getting much of it.

Dad isn't too hard to find. He's out and about, doing nothing around the town. Just watching it. When I find him he's walking towards the old saloon, and has his back turned. I walk right up next to him, and start mimicking his actions. I expected to get a laugh or chuckle or smile out of him. But I didn't. He looks at me from the corner of his eye, and then away again.

"What are you doing?"

His tone is kinda hurtful. I stop what I'm doing and fold my arms over my chest.

"Copying you."

"I see. Well. Don't you have to pack?"

"I already did, dad. I wanted to come hang out with you."

"I half expected you be gone by now."

I stop walking and look at him. I feel hurt, and it shows on my face.

"…You'd let me leave, without saying goodbye?"

Dad shrugs, putting his gun on his back.

"You fell in love, packed your bags. Thought you'd be up and gone by now. Wasn't about to argue it."

Tears are all sorts of welling in my eyes. This is my dad. He's my dad. He's big, scary, intimidating, mean and damnit he fights the monsters. He fights _all_ the monsters. Even now. I have _always_ been my father's little girl. What the hell makes him think…makes him think that I'd be so selfish as to leave without saying goodbye? Well, my entire childhood and teenage years, I guess. But still. Hasn't he seen the changes?

"So you just want me to go now then? Go right now? Fine! Fine! I'll just go get Cain and we'll leave and you won't ever see me again! Ever!"

I storm away so dad doesn't see me crying. Deep down, no matter how much I've changed, grown and matured, I'm still nothing but a big baby around my father. A big baby little girl-brat. I half expected dad to chase after me, or something, but he didn't. And by the time I got home and slammed the door, mom was giving me a look.

"What happened?"

She asked, in that whole 'more curious than motherly' way. Looking at her, with tears pouring out, I stomp my foot.

"I hate him! I hate him!"

Running up the stairs I slam my bedroom door and throw myself on the bed. Burying my face in my pillow I yell into it and kick my feet. In the midst of my tantrum, I hear my mom chuckle. Picking my head up, I look at her.

"What's so funny?"

I demand, sniffling my nose.

"You. I take it you found your father?"

"He thought I left without saying goodbye!"

Mom shrugs, and sits down on the bed.

"And you're both so stubborn…Dizzy, your father is just upset, and his way of dealing with this is to be cold."

"How could he think that? How? He's my _dad_!"

Lighting a cigarette, mom hands it to me. All of a sudden, her face changes from curious and mocking friend, to concerned mother.

"Because you've left before. Taken off in the middle of the night, making us both worry. More so him than me, but worry just the same. He tried his hardest to shelter you, and keep you safe. He didn't want you to see any of the things he saw. But the harder he tried, the more you rebelled. I told him everything happens for a reason, and in the end things would be okay, but you're his only child. His _only_ daughter. Had you been a boy, maybe he would have been a bit more lenient. But you're not. He's overprotective of you. Watching his daughter grow up, being there and see you upset over Cain, all the things we've been through recently…it's hard for him, Dizzy. He never wanted this for you. He wanted a life I wasn't around to see. A pre-war life. A life with no killing, no remnants of war, no Wasteland. Normalcy."

"But this is normal to me. The pre-war is what's abnormal. This, this life, is mine. It's when I was born, so it's all I know."

"I know that, Dizzy, and deep down he does too. But…he's scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of something happening to Cain, and you being alone. When Cain was…non-functioning, and your father saw you that upset, it tore him up inside. But he was there for you. He was there to do his best to fix it and protect you. With you leaving, he won't be. And it's very hard for someone like him to grasp. A first time parent, who only recently in his three-century old life has any grasp of normalcy. He has no idea how to parent, nobody does really, but he's an exception to the rule. He knows killing. And stealth. Parenting? Might as well throw someone who can't swim in the middle of an ocean."

Wiping my face off, mom's words make me stop crying. But they don't take the hurt away. I take a long drag of my cigarette, and look at my hands.

"I just want dad to be proud of me."

"He is, Dizzy. He's just having a hard time letting go. Go talk to him again. And this time, don't act your age and storm away. Act like someone who can survive out there in the Mojave Wasteland."

"You can't tell me you've never stormed away crying from dad."

"I have. Many times. But I'm not his daughter, either."

Mom and I get up. She leads the way downstairs. I put my cigarette out on the kitchen table, and look back at her. She gives me an encouraging look, and nods her head towards the door. Mom's right, and I know that. Shit, we both know that. But, talking to dad is a lot easier said than done. He doesn't do much talking.

Opening the door, I'm more than a bit shocked to see him standing in front of the house, looking out over the growing grass of Megaton. When he hears me open the door, he looks back at me, his face expressionless. At least, for a minute, I think it is. Looking a bit deeper, I see he's hurting, too. I don't say anything to him though, and hold my ground on the front porch. He upset me, so he should talk first. And I don't care how immature that sounds. I don't have to grow up until I leave later, and that's that.

"Thought you were leaving and I was never going to see you again?"

He says, cold and turning his back to me.

"Cain wasn't home. Can't leave without my traveling buddy."

"Well. He should be back soon. I passed him on my way here, he seemed to be finishing up at Gob's."

"What the hell do you care anyways? You thought I already left. Wouldn't make any difference to you."

Behind me the front door opens. Mom sticks her head out, obviously angry.

"I think the two of you need to go on a nice walk and talk this over."

Dad snorts at her, with his back still turned. Next thing I know, something is flying over me. It's an ashtray, and it hits dad right in the back of his head. I have to bite my cheek to prevent laughter.

"You're over three-hundred years old Charon! Act like it and take your kid for a walk! I'm sick of this bickering!"

Rubbing the back of his head, dad gives mom a mean look over his shoulder. He's greeted with a bowl to his forehead.

"I have a house full of object to throw and thanks to you, I won't miss. Now _go_!"

Mom slams the door, and dad kicks away the objects laying at his feet.

"I regret the day I taught her how to aim."

He says, and by now I'm drawing blood from my cheek to stop the laughter.

"She's your daughter, too!"

Dad hollers back, as if I'm not even there. Mom opens the door at lightning speed, wide so he can see the multiple objects she has in her hands.

"I didn't have an immaculate conception, Charon! You have to pull your own weight!"

"I have for eighteen years!"

"I birthed her! She needs her father!"

"And why is that? She has it all figured out by now, I'm sure."

"Charon…"

Mom gives him this look, and it chills me to the bone. Dad sighs, putting his hands up.

"Going, I'm going. Come on, Dizzy. Make your mother happy."

I follow him, smiling back at mom. But mom is too busy being angry at dad, and shuts the door, yelling something about their life together and how she's surprised she hasn't killed him in his sleep yet. Really, I don't want to follow him to make mom happy. I want to follow him because he's my dad and I want him to be happy with me. He said he was proud of me, and knew I'd be okay on my own. But right now, he's making me question all of that.

"I can't go any further."

I tell him as we near the pathway that leads up to Vault 101. Cain isn't home, and we haven't touched base all day. So any further and he might get sick. Dad looks at me, saying nothing. He sits on a boulder, and I sit on the ground. The sun is hot, but nothing we're not use to. In the distance I hear the roar of a Yao Guai, and sigh.

"Aren't we supposed to talk about stuff?"

I ask him, challenging him almost. Dad lights a cigarette, showing no more emotion. Not even hidden pain, from either my departure or where mom hit him.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, dad. Anything. I won't see you for a while after this."

He looks at me, and our eyes meet. I have to use every ounce of my emotional strength to not cry, and not look away. He's my dad, and the only one I have. I'm lucky, though, because I hear a noise that distracts me. Dad hears it too, and gets up.

"What's that?"

It sounded like a strange gunshot, but I can't tell. When I'm focused on one thing, it's hard to digest anything other than whatever I'm focused on. Taking the gun from his back, dad sees something that he's…well seemingly angry at. Out here it takes a lot, and I mean a lot to get him angry at something that's not me. Or mom. Following his line of sight, though, I see it's just a person. I go to say something along the lines of 'calm down' or whatever, but dad lets out this guttural growl. And then I see it.

I see that look in his blue eyes. One I've seen many times before, when he thought I was in danger both as a child, and when I would sneak away from home at night. The look he gets, when mom gets yelled at by a passerby or newcomer who hasn't yet learned my father is to be respected and feared equally. It's a look, that, I really miss. It's the look only someone who loves you so much, that they don't know how to say it. They don't know how to tell you they care and love you. It spills over, and makes them angry at you, at me, for leaving. Because really, they just love you so much, the thought of anything bad happening to you, kills them inside. And when you hurt, they feel it ten times worse.

But why would some stranger, walking towards us, give dad such a look? Give him an anger that even I can't provoke in him? As the man gets closer, I see he's older. I've never seen him in my life before, but he wears a strange hat. Dad stands in front of me, blocking any good view I may have. So I go and sit on the boulder he was just on. Although he's looking straight ahead, with his gun at the ready, I feel his eyes on me. And slowly, dad gets closer to the boulder, as I bring my knees to my chin.

"It's been quite the long time, Charon."

The man says, far enough away so that he's not a threat, but close enough to hear. Dad says nothing, his fingers dancing around the trigger of his gun. I have mine, too, but dad is dad. He can handle just about anything.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ah, came round to just see the Capitol Wasteland once again. It's been long enough, figured if you were still around you may have well forgotten about me."

"I forget nobody I let live."

"Water under the bridge. My hand healed up nicely. Dezbe, is that you?"

The man says to me, and I look him right in the eye. He takes a step back.

"Whoa. Sorry miss, seem to have mistaken you for someone else. Got another lady friend now then, Charon? So where's Dez at? Gal like her wouldn't fall to the dangers of the Wasteland."

"Dezbe is my mom. She's my mom."

I say to him, still unsure of who he is or how he knows my parents. Dad lowers his head, but not his gun.

"You need my permission, Cassidy, before speaking to my daughter."

"Daughter? Ah, didn't know ghouls had it in 'em to reproduce. Huh, I see it now. The eyes. You have the same eyes…"

"What is your business here? You are not welcome in Megaton."

"Like I said before, I just wanted to see this place again. Hey, hey, look, holding a grudge isn't healthy. Come now, lower your weapon."

Cassidy gets closer, but dad doesn't lower his weapon. I figure this is someone from my parents' past that they didn't like. Not sure what gave me that idea. Cassidy holds out his hand, I guess for me to shake. He takes off his strange hat, and smiles at me.

"Names Cassidy Rose, miss. I knew your mother way back when, before you were born. It's nice to meet you."

All fast and swift, dad grabs Cassidy's wrist.

"I broke your hand once, I will do it again. You do not speak to my daughter. You do not venture into my town. You turn, and you leave, because this time, I will not spare your life."

By the look of fear on Cassidy's face, he heeds dad's warning.

"Alright, alright. You win. Eighteen and some odd years later, you still got that youthful strength. An older man like me can't fight you fair. It was good to meet you, miss."

Dad lets him go, and he turns to walk back the way he came. Once he's out of earshot, dad looks at me and puts his gun on his back.

"If you see him again, kill him."

"Who was he?"

"A man in love with your mother."

"You didn't have to scare him, you know. I don't think he would have hurt me."

"You're my daughter. I do what I have to do."

"But you didn't have to be mean. Maybe he's changed and not in love with mom anymore."

"Hm. Even then, he's not trustworthy."

Dad has a hard time forgiving people of his past. I get that. Forgiveness isn't one of his many loving qualities. But still. He really didn't have to go and scare him off. Maybe Cassidy was here to make amends? I don't know. Hell I only know his name.

"Hey dad?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you so mad at me?"

Dad looks at me, and sighs. I feel my eyes watering. I just want to know what made him so angry. I wanted to spend time with him before I left.

"I am not mad at you, Dizzy."

Tears fall down my cheeks, and I sniff my nose. Dad frowns, knowing he made me cry.

"Hey. Stop crying."

But I don't. I don't stop crying, and dad comes over and wraps me in a hug.

"Stop crying, please stop crying."

"You're so mad at me. You don't want me to go."

"No, I don't. I want you to stay here, so I can keep an eye on you."

He lets me go, and stares at the ground. I wipe my face with the back of my hand, knowing that I cry far too much.

"You're an adult now. Yet, you're still a child to me. You're my daughter, and…"

"And?"

"And I never wanted this day to come. I wanted to protect you, and keep you from this. Do you remember, what I would call you as a child?"

Nodding, I smile, the tears slowing.

"Yeah. You'd call me Squeaky."

"Because you'd squeak, whenever you were terrified or excited. At night it was hard to tell the difference, but just the same, you'd come to me. To show me what made you so happy, or scared you so much."

"I remember…"

"You were born, and I never imagined, it would have happened so soon. When Gob came running, to tell me you were on the way, I cannot express how I felt. When you were in my arms for the first time, you were so small. I held you, and the moon shone in through the clinic window, and I wanted nothing more than to give you the life I never had."

"Dad, you did. You have me a wonderful life. And this is part of it. Letting me go, to see the world on my own."

He shakes his head.

"I know that. I know, but I will not be there to save you if you're in trouble. Who will fight for you? Who will save you and comfort you when you are alone in the Wasteland?"

"I will, dad. You taught me that. You taught me to be brave, and know when to be scared."

Dad looks at me, and I see he's trying not to cry.

"I knew nothing of parenting when you were born. I only knew that I had to protect you. That I had no other purpose than to do just that. I never…knew the joy, the overwhelming emotions, that came with holding your newborn child. And it feels as if I was holding you yesterday. And now, you're grown."

"I need you right now, dad. I need your advice, and I need you to support me in this."

Without warning he hugs me. And I quickly realize it's to hide the tears coming from his eyes. I hug him back, trying to hide my own, too.

"Watch out, Dizzy. Life…out there is tricky. You're going to love, and hate, and you're going to fight. But if you're strong, everything will pass. And when things get hard, unbearable, or when you're just lonely, I am right here. I am your father, and I have always been here. I know I am cold. I know I am seemingly emotionless, but I have always loved you, and I am going to be here for you, even when you are miles and miles from me. I am here, and I love you. More than I can say right now."

"I know, dad. I know. And if I ever need you, you'll know. I promise. I promise I'll be okay, too."

"You're my daughter. My only daughter. Please, be safe."

He holds me tighter, and I realize how much I'm gonna miss him. I'm gonna miss my dad more than anything.

"When I get there, you and mom should come visit."

Dad lets me go, wiping his face so I don't see him so upset.

"How long do you intend to stay, Dizzy?"

"In New Vegas? I don't know. If I like it, maybe a few years. If not, a few days, then Cain and I will probably head back here."

"I was looking everywhere for you!"

Dad and I look over to see Cain walking towards us. I smile, happy to see he isn't sick or anything. Maybe a bit tired, but not sick.

"Dad and I came out here to talk."

"Yeah that's what Dez told me."

Before Cain can get closer to me, dad steps between us.

"Charon."

Cain says, and dad nods.

"You are leaving with my daughter today, Cain."

"I am."

This is an exchange between men. I watch quietly, not making any noise whatsoever. Nope. Silent.

"You are responsible for her well-being, and her safe arrival and return. Do _not_ let me down. You are made in my image, but that does not mean you are safe if she is harmed. And not just by your programming, but by me. I have raised you as my son, and see you as such, but Dizzy is my daughter. You will die, before anything happens to her, just as I would for Dezbe."

"I understand. You may trust me."

Reaching up, I put my hand on dad's shoulder. He looks down at me.

"Let's get you home to your mother. I'll help you get your things. If you do not leave now, I will force you to stay."

Nodding, I follow him without protest. On the way home, dad doesn't let Cain near me. He stays between us, watching everything silently. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for him. How hard it must be to see his only daughter venture off like this. The thought of it makes me want to stay home. But here, I can't make my own life. Everybody needs to spread their wings. Everybody needs to leave home. But then again, everyone also returns home, too.

When we all walk through the door, mom's flipping through something at the kitchen table. She glances up, smiling.

"Have you made nice?"

I nod, and sit down.

"Good, because I think it's time you both start heading out. I've readied your things."

Mom points to two packs laying between the living room and the kitchen.

"You're eager to get rid of us."

Cain says, and mom laughs.

"I'm eager for you two to get out, get some life experience, and get to New Vegas. I expect you to send word the _second_ you reach New Vegas, or better yet, the Mojave Wasteland. I need you to tell me who is in charge of the Kings, how the robots are, and if Mr. House relinquished power."

Mom gets up, and starts writing things down on a piece of paper on the counter. Cain and I exchange confused glances.

"I also need you to stay away from the NCR and Creaser's Legion. One is good, the other bad, but both insane and stupid. Law works in New Vegas, so be careful. There are repercussions to your actions there, unlike here. Be wary of the Powder Gangers, and if you run into Rose of Sharon Cassidy, tell her I can still outdrink her. If the stone-cold bitch is alive. Now, if you see Raul, send him my love."

Mom starts tearing up as she hands me the paper. I'm not sure what to think of it all, but dad scoffs at her.

"You still think about Raul?"

"Jealousy is ugly, Charon."

"Hm."

Raul? I don't know him, but if I happen to run into someone who looks like a 'Raul' I'll deliver the message. Whatever went on between him and mom isn't my business.

"Anything else?"

I ask mom, who shakes her head and wipes her eyes.

"No, no that's it. Just stay close to one another and keep each other safe."

"We will, mom, don't worry."

I guess it's time to go now. I didn't expect it so soon. I figured we'd leave later. But mom and dad are right. We have to leave now.

"I just want one more moment alone with my daughter."

Dad says, and I nod. Cain and mom start to gather everything, and put the pack on Cain's back while he asks about ammunition. I follow dad outside, my gun still strapped to my hip.

"What is it, dad?"

He sits in a chair, and I sit in the one across from him. He sighs, rubbing his hand down his face.

"It's a big world out there."

"I know, and I'll be safe."

"I don't expect anything less from my daughter. But I'm more concerned about...what awaits in New Vegas."

I raise an eyebrow at him.  
"I've never been, Dizzy, but your mother tells me about it. Sex, chems, temptations lie around every corner. Either you will flourish, or you will perish. There is no middle ground, for someone with your qualities. Do not think, for one second, anyone there can be trusted. You _must_ play it safe, and do not mess with any of the gangs. They are organized, and they are large in numbers. Deathclaws breed like cattle there. There are giant flies, and worse still, men wanting to take advantage of you."

"I love Cain, dad."

"I know. I know you do. But your love is going to be tested. For both of you. Keep your head about you, and if you need me, I will be there."

"Dad, you brought me up well. Whatever is out there, I bet I can face it. And if I fall and break my leg, then at least I learned my limits."

"You're smarter than your mother was at your age…"

I smile at him. Dad stands up, and takes a deep breath in. Before he can speak though, I throw myself at him. Wrap my arms around his neck, and hug him as tight as I can. I pick my feet off the ground, and smile as I rub my face against the hard and worn leather of his chest piece.

"Thanks for not giving up on me, dad."

"It wasn't perfect, or easy raising you, Dizzy. But it was worth it, every bit."

He hugs me back and when I let go, he lifts me in the air. His arms under my arms, he raises me high above his head, and I can't help but laugh. I weigh nothing to my dad, as he holds me high up, smiling at me.

"Until the day comes, where I cannot lift you above me with ease, you will always be my little girl, Dizzy."

He sets me down, and I smile at him as I regain balance.

"That's alright with me. After all, someone has to fight the monsters under my bed."

"I have one more piece of advice for you, Dizzy."

"What's that?"

"Learn from the good, as well as the bad. Fall down, get hurt, break a leg, and know that no matter how horrible things get, the sun will continue to rise tomorrow, whether or not you're wanting to see it. The stronger you are, the more you endure, the better the ending."

"Is that how you feel about you and mom, and everything you went through?"

Dad grows silent, and looks at the house. He looks around at Megaton, and the blossoming grass.

"…Yes. I own a town, Dizzy. I have a wife. A beautiful daughter. A normal life here in the Capitol Wasteland. And because of all the pain and suffering I went through alone, and with your mother, I am able to see the value of this in a way…nobody else can. I do not wish pain upon you, but out there, I want you to know how to appreciate everything. Even the smallest things. Even if you lose everything, and come home with nothing, half-dead and broken, smile still. Because Cain loves you, I love you, and your mother loves you. And nothing will change that."

"Don't worry dad. New Vegas should be scared of me. I'm going to own that town."

"Please don't."

The front door opens. Cain and mom come out. Cain hands me my pack, and I assume it's the lighter one of the two. And then, the moment is here. This is it. Gob arrives when he sees us all standing on the edge of town, and Zack drives up in his truck. There's not a dry eye around, as all of us hug one another. Nobody wants to let go, but we have to. The temptation to go off, spread my wings, and soar like those things in the sky I never get to see, is immeasurable. Cain smiles at me, and I smile back. Mom and dad hold one another close, while Gob just smiles. It's my turn now. My turn to have adventure, to cry, to live, to feel pain and excitement and all those horrible and nasty but wonderful things that comes with life. Play shoot 'em up with enemies, fight with Cain against a starry sky, and run wild and free like it's nobody's business. I'm not as tough as my dad, or as witty as my mom. I'm just Dizzy. Me, and nothing else. I have a lot to learn, and a lot to see. I know whatever happens, I have Megaton to come home to. And if anything bad happens I fear for that person's life because dad isn't one to simply 'forget' things.

Waving goodbye, Cain and I begin to walk off, when Zack calls to us.

"What the fuck you two walking for?"

Cain and I look at him, confused.

"You two actually think I'm going to sit around Megaton while you go off to New Vegas and become some legendary gangbangers? No. No way. I want in on this, and you're not arguing it. Get in."

I look at Cain, and I smile. Zack opens the passenger side door to the truck, waiting for us. We both grew up with Zack. We all get along. Him having a truck and a couple gallons of fuel in the back does make the walking distance a lot less. So, what else do you expect us to do? Tossing our packs into the back, Cain and I steal a quick kiss and hop in, Gob howling with laughter in the background.

"Sorry dad! But I can't help it! I'll be back before you know it! With or without these two try-hards!"

The three of us laugh, as Zack guns it over the harsh and rocky terrain of the Capitol Wasteland. Mom says the Mojave Wasteland is a lot smoother and flatter. She says that there's adventure and lore and amazing times to be had. And with my boyfriend and our best friend, I can't wait. We're going to make post-apocalyptic history.


End file.
